who had not to the eyes of thâ— world so many excellent parts 〈◊〉 our Major had yet to those of Bâ—renice that precious that charmiâ—â— but nameless I know not whaâ— which maketh the strongest inâ—agements through whose efficaâ—ous influence he dropped secretâ—â— into the depth of her Soul and â—ade himself the only and absolute â—uler of her tenderest inclinations â—he bore indeed to that Cavalier 〈◊〉 true sincere and passionate love â—ut ambition being no less the tyâ—â—ant of her heart than Cupidon 〈◊〉 could not without blushing â—ast in her mind the management 〈◊〉 an alliance which she conceived 〈◊〉 be far under the degree and conâ—ition of her birth The misfortune was that the Cavalier having 〈◊〉 very modest opinion of himself â—nd suspecting nothing of his beâ—â—ng so passionately loved did rather act the comforter with her than â—he lover being careless enough about those external ornaments which make commonly so great an â—mpression on the tender Sex his â—hew and carriage were very mean â—is retinue but little and he put himself to no charges because being born of one of the most illustrious Families of his Country he was sparing his Estate to carry it higher withal in a better preferment he aspired to On the contrary the Major whom some extraordinary parts had made confident joyned to the comeliness oâ— the body the lustre of great and sumptuous expences he was rich handsome and setled in a good employ he had consequently all thaâ— may engage a heart and according to the ordinary course of the world was the most worthy oâ— the sacrifice of Berenice's liberty But all these advantagious conditions proved to be of no significancy to her she felt no spark of true love for him and she loved out oâ— a natural propensity her dear Captain who in her judgment wanted nothing but an higher degree tâ— to be the worthy object of her vows Thus whilst Love was getting ground more and more in the heart of Berenice for her truly beloved Lysandre such is the name of that fortunate Gentleman our Major was very earnest with her about getting a favourable declaration growing every day more forward to tell his mind and fancying that loves passion increased as much in that insensible heart as in his own Nay he came to such a degree of familiarity that he foolishly acquainted her with some secret intrigues which some other kind Ladies had trusted to his supposed fidelity and discretion so that through so simple and giddy a carriage he discovered to that refined Maid the weakness of his Soul making her conceive great hopes of considerable things she could get by him and in effect it proved not a mistake since through the indiscretion of that silly conceited wooer she surprised and fixed to her side the fickleness of fortune all succeeded according to her desires and she got benefits far beyond her own expectation One day after he had spent a whole afternoon in a private and pleasant conversation with her he took opportunity of the merry humour she was in to throw again at her feet both his heart and liberty being in hope of a favourable answer but the crafty Lady not willing either to put him in a despair or to ingage herself further than was agreeable to her designs keeping still in a merry tune one will think on it saith she with a jeering manner the injoyment of a heart that may love sincerely when it hath no more choice is worth enough some troubles Such a cold answer was able to satisfie our Gallant of the little tendency of his Mistriss towards him for how true and faithful may be â—hat love which is not natural and true but the great opinion he had of himself did blind him so much that he was by no means discountenanced Nay he made his court with more exactness than ever growing more troublesome and impatient than formerly In fine he desired her to take a final and substantial resolution upon the matter She who had little or nothing of the ordinary frailty of her Sex seeing there was no way to avoid answering to so formal application reparteed wittily she was extreamly sensible of his love â—ut that how great soever her reciprocal passion for him might be yet her being Daughter of a famous Colonel which quality was almost her only inheritance did forbid her to follow her own inclination and yield to a Gentleman inferiour to the degree of her late father that the place of Lieutenant Colonel being void he could easily attain to it and then she would stick no longer to reward and second his Vows This declaration cast into a strange perplexity of mind our Major who had several times made his utmost interest but always in vain to get that preferment He wanted no access to his Colonel who was a man near fourscore years of age but who being grown gray-haired in the exercise of War and having got through a long experience a deep discernment and a solid apprehension of true courage prudent conduct and other warlike parts did not judge his favorite to be able enough to discharge worthily a place of so important a trust Nevertheless he set a good face on a bad matter and replyed cheerfully That he was not very far off from that eminent degree there being but one step more to be made to it but if so be her fire were equal to his flame she should not stop their common happiness on so small an account and for want of an external quality which could neither increase nor diminish his real and material merit Berenice at that onset stood firm upon a noble pride she obstinately bent herself to perswade him she loved the Major and would marry the Lieutenant Colonel which having repeated several times what reasons soever he could alledge to move her he perceived clearly that the taking in of such a Fortress was not a matter of one day nor so easie a work as he thought but being gone so far his love and courage did not permit him to make retreat he reneweth the assault with more vigour and fresh arguments sighs crieth intreats but is always served with the same answer so that giving himself wholly to sorrow his hope was very near to yield to despair when the clear-sighted love of Berenice wisely advised her how to keep the fool in awe and further her own interest by the most exquisite and ingenious trick that was ever heard of in the whole Kingdom of Cupidon She on a sudden fell out of countenance modesty shut up for a while her mouth she offered to speak some words presently a secret bashfulness forbad her speaking holding down her eyes she seemed to be willing to speak and be silent at once but all this was a meer fiction that the curious Major would offer a kind and honest violence to her hypocritical repugnancy and force her in a manner to open her most secret sentiments Madam saith he I see you extreamly thoughtful I conceive
extraordinary tenderness is much increased and strengthned through our mutual Society and is come now to such a degree as not to permit me to look upon any other object in the world but yee You are inrich'd with all those parts that may inchant a heart and disarm the most severe Ladies So 't is a piece of justice to me to submit to that Vnion which heaven prescrib'd But as on one side I would be extreamly sorry that afterwards you might have the least cause to reproach me the meanness of my fortune and as on the other I do ardently desire to see you set up in a place in a manner answerable to your worth here is that which I contrive both for the getting of the one and the avoiding of the other You must dear Major play for a while the Rival of your self by using in my behalf all the influence you may have upon your Colonels inclinations to get me shortly married with him You know well enough how old he is you presume of his strength and may easily conceive he won't go far off In the mean time I 'l bend all the powers of my wit to rule the old man so the Colonels-lieutnancy that is now vacant attends you surely as well as all the others benefits wherewith he will gratifie both my youth and my birth 'T is true indeed sweet-Lady interrupted here the Major that the Colonel is old that I have a great power upon him but who shall warrant me that his caresses his nights efforts pardon the freedom of this word will bring him to the grave Nay your company may revive him It is rare to see people of â—usty and strong complexion out-live an age This possibility being granted what will become of our projects what will become of your flourishing youth what our mutual flames will end to and who shall warrant it that I may live among so many Causes of mortal sorrows wherein I shall see my self overwhelm'd I would willingly undertake to serve you in this occasion but indeed the Colonel-lieutenancy whose hope ought to flatter me hath no charms enough to make me look with a cold indifference on the loss of Berenice Yet my dear reparteed she briskly you must resolve to do me that important service which I will not fail to acknowledge and return in due time It is better for ye to injoy in hope by obliging me than to run the hazard of an eternal privation by refusing to second me in an affair wherein our common interest is the only end I aim at Do not balance all your objections how reasonable and strong soever they may appear to your eyes will be weak and groundless to mine Pray forbear to trouble me with reasons that I cannot hear without indignation seal up to me your love and zeal with the sacrifice of your own sentiments and be sure you shall not oblige an ungrateful woman This bit seem'd to the Major to be of a very hard digestion yet he must either swallow it or fall down from the favour of one which he would not have disoblig'd for all the world What mumbled he low but loud enough to be taken up by Berenice To act the Rival of my self was this ever heard of Or was ever any man brought to so cruel a destiny Then lifting up his voice he spake after this manner Being dear Lady you are so firmly wedded to your opinion and will not in the least remit of the necessity you set me in to become in a manner my own hangman by playing my self Rival I do the more willingly yield to that fatal law of death you impose upon me because in effect after I have lost you I can't but languish and pine away being delivered up to troubles and despairs far more cruel than the very death it self Yes you shall be obey'd unmercifull Lady I will blind my self to serve you and use my utmost power to secure and hasten that high match your Ambition aimeth to But as you have required my Oath so I hope you can't but give me yours To which the crafty Lady having reparteed she would he made her swear she would be as good as her word assoon as Heaven who seem'd to have ordained them one for the other should open the way to their happy marriage Berenice did not account her conscience to be thereby very much concerned Love who is none of the most pious Gods is neither none of the most faithful and it seems Antiquity did to no other purpose set a band on his eyes but to allow him a full liberty to mistake Our Major promised he should the very next morning go and try the Colonels dying inclinations that if in the old man could but a little spark be found he would kindle it into a fire and fail not over all to speak of Berenice according to that high opinion he had conceiv'd of her parts and give her an exact account of his conduct then he kissed her hand which privacy she did willingly allow him to refresh his heart and sweeten his sorrow This conversation having indured above three hours at candlelight one may conceive how great was the impatience of Lysandre who had waited so long 'T is true he could be in some manner comforted by the pastime he had to hear all through a door lying behind the Tapestry and going in a chamber next the Alcove wherein they had betaken themselves however certain it is what he heard surprised him strangely and perplexed him as much as that Berenice told him the morning he came resolved to answer ambiguously about the declaration he was ingag'd to by her but the last things he heard through the door did so much confound him that his consternation was visible at the very first moment he open'd his mouth to speak Nevertheless through the stream of an indifferent conversation he took by degrees his Spirits again and thought fit to dissemble that he knew any thing of the Secret discourse in the Alcove Now because Berenice's speech concerning her love for him did as much smell in his judgement of a Sport as of a truth he took as a pastime to answer gallantly gallant propositions which he did after this manner Could I fear Madam you would dislike my freedom I should never get loose so far out of the bonds of respect and duty as to publish I love you but being that both the strength and evenness of your wit are known to me and that I have received of you an express command to speak without disguise I will not balance to tell ye again I love you if it be without hope God knows but this I may say my self-self-love doth not blind me so much as to fill my heart with hope There would be a great folly to speak more and spend time upon ridiculous and chimerical pretensions What what d' ye call chimerical pretensions reply'd Berenice Am not I worth enough your wooing Or is my quality so low under yours that
but indeed it was only to get by him a richer and fatter Victim to her Caprices It seem'd Berenice had quite forgot Lysandre Nevertheless as the piques of lovers turn commonly into a renewing of love so Berenice was no sooner met and saluted in her Coach by him but she felt within her heart he was no more guilty but still worthy of her love Lysandre who had observed through the gentle manner and sweet air wherewith she bowed to him that she was appeased got in her favour and kindled again her flames by this Note Lysandre the most unworthy of Lovers to the most worthy loving Lady upon Earth IT is less to justifie my self than to confess my guilt that I make bold to write to you incomparable Lady I have alone more faults than all the world together but also I have more love alone than all men I suffered you to be the matter of a discourse 't is my crime But I could not abide that another might be preferred before me because I believe there is no man under Heaven whose zeal and love may be put in parallel to mine Pardon amiable Berenice pardon me an oversight which should be expiated enough if I had been but one day forbidden to see you 't is to languish too long subscribe either to my death or to the permission I crave to go and protest to you that I will live and dye your faithful servant Lysandre Berenice had too great a tendency towards Lysandre not to accept of his submission She granted him his pardon he knew his peace was made and resorted to her feet with an incredible diligence Upon his coming the fair Widow disguised her self a little but the conversation being by degrees grown hot the eyes having secretly but eloquently spoken on both sides and the fire by which these two hearts were burnt being kindled again more than ever it was talked no more but of re-union next faith was given and accepted of either party without the knowledge of any living soul The Banes were published three Sundays one after another and there was no Officer of the Garrison that heard of it because indeed very few amongst them do exactly go to Church One day the Lieutenant Colonel and the Major met by chance at Berenice's house she obliged them to be reconciled which they did and both continued to court peaceably their common Mistress but the Major who had no suspicion of mischief acted the Rival of himself for the third and last time when he was the least thinking on it A circle of Gentlemen and Ladies met the first of July at the fair Widows lodging After some discourses upon meer indifferent matters my Lady rose up took the Contract of her Matrimony with Lysandre out of a Drawer and rolling it up within her hands came to the Major and perplexed his mind with this Proposition Master Major said she you that are the most complaisant of men and make to your self an inviolable Religion to refuse nothing to Ladies will you grant me the favour which I have a mind to ask you Yes with all my heart replyed the Major with his hand on his breast What is it Madam Must I shed my dearest blood for you I will sacrifice it to the last drop No Sir added Berenice it matters only to sign a Writ I will with all my heart though I must sign my own Condemnation and if both your Piety and Loyalty were not known to me I would know whether there be any thing contrary to the Religion or State No no Sir it witnesseth nothing else but your free and voluntary consent to my everlasting happiness To your happiness Madam interrupted the Major Ah! blood must be used for that glorious consent He offered to prick himself with a Pin but Berenice took him from that new extravagancy putting a Pen in his hand So he signed the Paper as it was rolled up but as soon as he had taken up his fingers from it Berenice laughing made him know he had subscribed the very Contract of Marriage between her and Lysandre This stroke would no doubt have killed him if he had not thought it to be a pastime He was invited to make one in the Wedding Feast against the next morning He came believing still as hard as Iron it was but a meer sport He lent all his jovial humour to the entertainment and other rejoycings that followed it he sung a great many Airs upon Lovers unshaken fidelity he danced with the Company till night but he began to alter his Tune when he saw all the Convives contending one with another for the honour of bedding Berenice and Lysandre yet the strong opinion he had it was but a play caused him to do still an hundred pleasant things he untyed the Shoos of Berenice he helped Lysandre in the pulling off his Coat and saw them both a minute after with a wonderful amazement within the same Sheets and under the same Coverlet FINIS
THE Crafty Lady OR THE Rival of Himself A Gallant Intreague Translated out of French into English by F. C. Ph. Gent. Entred according to Order LONDON Printed for Edward Vize next door but one to Popes-Head Ally over against the Royal-Exchange in Cornhil 1683. TO ALL FAIR WITTY BUT UNPROVIDED LADIES Ladies I Would believe to have discharged but one part of my Duty if after I have shewed the love I bear You and how highly I concern my self for your interest by furnishing You in my Translation of the Crafty-Lady with the means of revenging against Fortune who so unjustly and blindly refused you her Favours I did not endeavour also to shew the great respect and veneration I have for Ye by dedicating it to You as a sacrifice due to your excellent and almost Divine Parts Give leave then fair Ladies to Berenice to carry throughout the English World under the protection of your illustrious Name those happy Trophies she got by her Wit and Beauty over that unjust and capricious Goddess Give her leave to go and undeceive men of that extravagant and altogether unreasonable fancy that parts both of wit and body are of little significancy and value without riches Indeed before Gold and Silver came out of the entrails of the Earth Or to say better of Hell real and true merit did make the worth of all Persons Strength Courage and Vertue were possessed alone of the right of commending and preferring men to high Places to Honours and Dignities And as for Women that finest part of the World their Beauty Breeding and Wit were an honourable portion to them and opened them the gate into the Temple of Fortune But since these Tyrants have corrupted good Manners overthrown natural Order and blinded humane Reason with their false splendor we have seen with amazement Vice Deformity and Dulness which are the most hainous Sins of Nature advanced courted preferred and Vertue Wit and Beauty which are the most glorious and rich sparks of divine fire despised abandoned and left in the dregs of the people as precious stones in the dirt Berenice whom I propose you witty Ladies as an excellent pattern and an infallible Guide found out a rare way to set her self up above those unjust prejudices of humane folly against divine and natural right I hope you will follow her steps and thus if at the same time that she pleaseth you she may instruct you and will serve your turn I will account my self advantageously rewarded for the time I have spent in dressing her up after the English Fashion and I shall Glory to have thereby deserved to bear the Honourable Quality Ladies of your Most humble obedient and devoted Servant Fr. Cl. Ph. THE Crafty Lady OR THE Rival of Himself THE Renowned City of Maestricht did but begin to enjoy the happiness of a peace wherewith Heaven â—ad blessed at last and rewarded â—s heroical atchievements when a â—ew Enemy no less turbulent and â—â—oublesome than the former beâ—â—n to ingage the bravest Officers of its Garrison into a painâ—â— and restless exercise Love moâ—â— haughty more proud and insoleâ—â— than ambition it self came in the attended with his ordinary retinâ— of Tricks Subtleties and Intrigueâ— he planted his Colours within 〈◊〉 compass of those famous Walls aâ— for the better securing of his Coâ—â—quest seized on a great number generous hearts which he handled in such a manner as 〈◊〉 thought the fittest for the moâ—â— splendid shew of his strength aâ— supreme power That Tyrant â—â—deed doth not set up his Empiâ—â—â— with so much noise as Bellona aâ— Mars do but he is no less dangeâ—â—ous and formidable for that sinâ—â— through jealousie disdains hatrâ—â— and dissimulation he moves thousand Wheels he manages thousand Springs from when come out Sorrow Anger despaâ—â— and sometimes death it self 〈◊〉 â—ovel shall highly witness it as â—eing the famous Stage wherein 〈◊〉 less than a whole regiment will â—â—ay their own parts and serve for sport to that cruel and capricious â—overeign A Cavalier whom Fortune and â—â—avour had lifted up to the place 〈◊〉 a Colonel of Horse dying left â—â—hind him Berenice his only Daughâ—â—r a young brisk handsome and â—â—itty Maid but provided with 〈◊〉 other portion but a noble â—â—ood and high Spirit and a great â—â—â—pe of an alliance answerable to 〈◊〉 nobility of her birth In the 〈◊〉 time of her mourning when 〈◊〉 fair complexion was like a Sun â—â—â—ining through a Cloud many a â—entleman crouded by her to wipe 〈◊〉 her tears The late Colonel for 〈◊〉 weighty reasons had been â—â—reamly unkind to so tender a â—â—uty strictly and absolutely forâ—â—ding her to receive visits or countenance any way the vows 〈◊〉 any Gallant keeping her in compleat slavery within the Waâ—â— of a House or rather of a Cloâ—ster so that she no sooner saw heâ— self set at liberty by the death 〈◊〉 so cruel a Father but she beguâ— to mend what was amiss and 〈◊〉 open the doors not only of 〈◊〉 House but also of her wit to 〈◊〉 honest companies making in thâ— most refined conversations an 〈◊〉 vantagious and surprizing use 〈◊〉 all Romances and other gallaâ—â— Books she had read over and ovâ—â— during the time of her long caâ—â—tivity The end she aimed at 〈◊〉 to triumph over all those of 〈◊〉 Sex in the Countrey by the â—â—liteness and neatness of her wiâ—â— to insnare the heart of some one 〈◊〉 the most eminent Gentlemen â—mongst her Gallants and so 〈◊〉 be obliged for her Fortune to no bâ—â—dy but herself Now the châ—â—â— â—ean she made use of for that was to feign an extream sorrow â—nd affect in her carriage such a â—â—nguor as might easily convince â—â—ny body she was uncomfortable 〈◊〉 the loss of her Father She did with so much grace and eloquence â—â—stifie the reasonableness of her â—espair and the quickness of her â—epartees did so much amaze the â—ost witty and understanding of her Courtiers that they before their â—â—ming into the circle did curiously â—â—epare themselves and desired 〈◊〉 most learned and refined of â—â—eir Friends to help them in the â—â—nviction of so inlightned and dexâ—â—ous a Wit Gallantry being nourished and â—aintained into Maestricht only by â—e well-bred Officers of the Garâ—son Berenice was courted by none 〈◊〉 military men amongst which 〈◊〉 certain Major a witty man inâ—eed but vain and proud was the first who earnestly and seriouâ—ly wooed her As that Gentle man had an high apprehension 〈◊〉 his own merit so his self-loâ—â— made him easily believe he waâ— amiable and that amongst aâ— hundred other Gallants he would keep an honourable distance anâ— get at last the better of them Oâ— the other side the young Lady who had hitherto received no opeâ— declaration of love shewed hâ—â—â—self sensible of these approaches although neither the Majors fortune nor his wit good graceâ— gallantry or splendid maintenancâ— could prevail upon her heart so far 〈◊〉 to ingage it in his favour Nay â—â—meer Captain of the same Regimenâ—
〈◊〉 possess five tongues of which Latin and Greek are those I speak best but all this shew being made by an obscurâ— man that shines so little and make now so small a figure in the World would prove altogether insignificant and fitter to make me ridiculous thaâ— commendable to you I know he was yet speaking when Berenice being able no longer to forbear laughâ—ng took opportunity of his merriment to interrupt him how Sir cryed she you can speak Latin and dare complain against Fortune I have always been told that Latinism is an infallible spring of goods to them that attain to it could not you drop handsomely into a Colledge and get a fellowship He fell himself a laughing heartily Yes indeed continued she a Cap on your Head and a Rod in your Hand would fit you marvelously well you I say whom nature hath inriched with a severe countenance so much gravity and seriousness He thought himself ingaged â—o nourish the sport and back the â—est so alledging the reasons that might take him from so glorious a design he said He was endowed with so tender and mild a nature â—hat he could never use the necessary rigour in a Schoolmasters place that he was too much afraid to see himself forced to get tears out of tender and innocent eyes Now if I assure you said she that there is no man in the world who causeth such abundance of tears to be shed as you what will you think Sir of that tenderness and mildness of nature you so confidently boast of If you could prove it reparteed Lysandre I would take up arms against my humour put it to a strict trial condemn it as an inconstant and force it by all means to recover its former sensibility Well saith she arm then against it go on streight way and fight it let your attendance be more assiduous that I may judge of your amendment be you from henceforth more neat and curious in apparel and be perswaded that one loves you this very night take so close measures that you may immediately succeed to a troublesome fellow that leaves me very late and prepare seriously to open me the true â—entiments of your heart about that which my sincerity hath open'd to you He rose upon that with his mind â—o prepossessed and flattered with 〈◊〉 sweet Idea that he forgot to â—ake his congy not daring perhaps â—and the brightness of so charming â—aids eyes which look'd him out to â—he very chamber door Our Cavalier seing himself so â—navoidably ingag'd to make a formal and positive declaration to a â—erson whose designs were altogether unknown to him was mighty â—neasy his trouble not permitting him to go home straightway lest he should meet there with a company â—hat might interrupt his thoughts â—e ran to the Rampart which he walked twice round about with such 〈◊〉 wandering of mind that his very â—riends mistook him An Officer who was upon duty at Boldukes â—ate stopp'd him on a sudden and question'd him about the matter thaâ— could make him so dull and melancholick but not being able to geâ— a word out of his mouth he said jestingly Vpon my word Friendâ— you are catch'd some fair eye smoâ—â— you be ye aware of being listed amongâ— those perplexed Lovers that go every day and talk flourished nonsence to faâ—â— Berenice Faith they say she looks oâ— you with a very kind eye and that you perceiv'd it a great while ago but what what one may think on it should there be any cooling in her flame 〈◊〉 did any humour of hers cast you into the ugly temper At so troublesome anâ— unlucky questions Lysandre reparted nothing else but that a sad accideâ—â— concerning private affairs had be â—â—faln him which he was troubleâ— for and call'd meer trifles all thâ— he said about the design of his 〈◊〉 to the Colonels daughter theâ— friendly touching the Officers haâ—â— he went on in his way renewinâ— his interrupted meditation But whiles he is walking at a good rate and gets out of our sight let us come back into Berenices chamber and hear how eloquently the Major exaggerates his passion This pretended favourite gave attendance upon her about night He met there a full and noble company which purposely he tired with a world of discourses that smelt nothing at all of a civil and compleasant Gentleman he affected to stay the last and after the Company was out made a motion concerning that scurvy matter that laid so heavy upon his heart that he had a Rival but was so unfortunate as to not know who Berenice who was out of measures with him because he himself did very freely deal with her told him as before He had indeed a Rival but such a one as should by no means hurt him and that it would be always in his power to get not only the possession he so passionately aim'd at but also a great fortune withal Our Major not being able to stay any longer intreated her one knee upon the ground to pull off the vail of so important a Mystery She getting him up again with a kind manner led him along with her to the bottom of an Alcove whose obscurity might do extreamly well for the shadowing of that privacy wherewith she had a mind to entertain a while the poor cousened Gallant This extraordinary carriage put him in a great hope oâ— some private favour though the fooâ— was never so far off in all his life He sits down by her the closest he could being unwilling to lose a word of the precious speech of his Mistress who in the mean time affected to speak low that he might conceive how repugnantly she explain'd her self upon the matter Heaven what is not a witty and amorous woman capable to do 〈◊〉 She told him She knows away how to get themselves both happy for ever but that modesty which is the natural portion of her Sex would forbid her to tell it yet she could not be silent without missing a fair opportunity to serve him and without betraying her own self-interest This feign'd perplexity which the Major believed real and true inflam'd him more and more and fed his curiosity with a new store of impatience he prays intreats urges instanceth and swears so many oaths he would be secret in case the intreague that was to be trust'd him should come to miscarry that she thought no more seasonable to dissemble fearing besides that any longer delay might perhaps quite break her measures and bring the whole contrivance to nothing Sir saith she I must confess it I am too free but no matter they must try fortune that pretend to her favours I trust you such a secret as shall discredit me for ever if you prove not a religious keeper of your Oath Since heaven who no doubt appointed us one for th' other got me acquainted with you I felt my heart so lively smitten that from the insensiblity he had hitherto been in to love he grew tender on a sudden that
receive of a considerable number of attendants yet such a service being interest'd ought not to be compar'd with the tender cares he might expect from a wife that would serve him out of inclination that the example of David is a precedent for him and seoures his reputation against biting tongues in case he will joyn with some young woman and in fine that none but indiscreet and foolish folks should be thereby scandalized and laugh sillily at his revived flames Love who seeks for nothing so forwardly as for the perpetuating of himself and the improving of his Empire takes part with the Major drops in the old mans heart and causeth him to answer with a smile That he was apt enough to follow his counsel if he could meet with an object worthy ones while that long ago he had a great propensity that way if his continual diseases had permitted him to take a turn in Holland or Flanders because to his apprehension Maestrich was so little furnished with exquisite beauties that he knew there not one which might awake his passion That indeed the several Nations especially the English and French had brought up some Gallantry in the town that there could be found some well bred and witty creatures but they were for the most part wither'd and liable to suspicion Ah Sir resumes the Major must it be that some braces of foolish and giddy Women set shame on the forehead of a great many innocent I confess There is scarce in all Europe a town that affords so little store of Beauties as Meastrich but yet it is not so absolutely unprovided with but there may be some one that will contend with the very English and Dutch Beauties themselves They are then Closet-pieces pursued the old fellow They dare not appear in publick for fear of becoming too common they are afraid of the Sun-burning or it may be they scruple to shame the rest of those of their Sex Prethee Major give me an instance shew me some fair of that Character thou hast described I know there is no place so close no house or family so severe but thou may'st get in a free access by thy fair humour and ingageing manners There no doubt thou saw'st some extraordinary merit Oblige me so much as to tell me what thou didst discover there that may deserve the ingagement of a noble Soul No need Sir reply'd the Major to go so far will ye know a maid that deserveth your love Cast but your eyes upon Mistress Berenice that worthy heiress of the great Vertues of your late friend the Colonel This young Maid is eminently indow'd with the most excellent graces of Body and Soul she is the wonder of her age her Vertue which stands any trial get's her respect from the most licentious and no man in the world can boast of the least favour of hers That Maid reparteed the Colonel hath indeed all the parts you said I knew her when very young and am better satisfy'd than any other of her excellent and curious breeding But I can hardly believe shew would sacrifice so flourishing a youth to so many loathsome infirmities of a man of my age and prefer those small advantages she may expect by her alliance with an old and almost overus'd Souldier before all the pleasures that attend her by marrying some lusty and brisk young Gentleman Could I hope dear Major that charming Maid would give ear to any terms through your mediation I would be ready to do any thing in her behalf and to acknowledge the good office I should have received of you in that occasion But how to blot out of her mind the sweet Ideas of so many compleat young Cavaliers who court her assiduously and how to trace in in their room the image of an old man no less troublesome than unable to breed Love Sir Sir reply'd the Major I pass my word confidently that Mistress Berenice is none of those fickle and volatile Maids which a sute of cloath well set a colour'd Ribban a mingled Plumet or a flourish gently uttered out may intice she hath a refined tast and I am enough acquainted with her to assure you she will wisely prefer the solid benefits of your alliance before the false brightness of all those Adonis by whom she is every day besieged Give me but your word that you love her and let me alone for the rest I swear it Sir said the Old man but to come about my design what am I able to do my Gout gives me no truce I cannot pay her a visit So I am out of all means to assure her of my love No matter answer'd the Major I will govern her mind so dextrously that she shall wait upon you to the very corner of your chimney or else if you think it more convenient to invite her your self write but a letter capable to make some impression and next it will be my â—art and business to help it with the most favourable commentary I can Forget not to feign you thought upon her a great while ago and that you have things of moment to acquaint her withall The old man likes the proposal calls for pen and ink and draws down himself the following lines Madam HAd my feet been as free as my hands I had not fail'd to go and mingle my tears with those you have shed upon the death of your late Father my intimate and unparalleleâ— Friend but although I should have been able to mistrust your resignation to the orders of Heaven and believâ— you do need some comfort in so greaâ— a loss yet I never had been capablâ— to go and proffer it to you being limited as I am by my infirmities withiâ— the compass of a chamber I intreaâ— you to make violence to your modesty by liking that I send you my Coach 〈◊〉 have had formerly with the late Coâ—lonel your Father many intimate bonâ— of friendship you shall not be sorry 〈◊〉 know them Master Major will 〈◊〉 you the rest and how much I am your servant The Major charg'd with this Letter went out presently to Berenice's lodgings he had no sooner paid her the usual duties but lifting up his voice as in a transport of joy he told her Dear Lady you have carried it you have got all and it will be long of none but you that you do not injoy read this note it confirms what I say Berenice shew'd a great deal of gratitude to the Major and said that by obliging her he had served himself and with sparkling eyes witnesses of her joy she kiss'd and read the Letter over and over She thought not fit to answer the note by another had not her own interest moved her to wait upon the Colonel the deference and respect due to a man of that quality and who had been so great a friend with her own Father could not but perswade her to pay him that civility Therefore she desired the Major to acquaint his Colonel from her with an
conversation The Colonel bids him to sit down fends the footman back and addressing to the Major tells him merrily Could ye believe it Sir that a man as heavy as I am might run so far in so little while Could ye be perswaded I have stormed in an hour the finest and strongest place in this country and that this amable Child pointing to Berenice is now mine Yes why not replyed the Major a man that grew old in the wars as ye did doth not he know all engines tricks and stratagems whereby places are taken in and as for that you call Madam Berenice yours could there be found in all the world a person that deserves better your adoption Say rather my self resumed the Colonel since I gave my self wholly to her and am no more mine How Sir pursued the Major is it possible What betrothed so soon that is to go very fast indeed that is to dispatch matters pretty well Two Souls born one for the other interrupted pleasantly Berenice knit together at the first approach and their union is so natural nay so necessary that it must be made in spight of all contrary efforts and it passeth by all sorts of considerations soever I bless God Madam said the Major that he hath been pleased to give his hand to the execution of a match which he had decreed from all eternity and I will prove none of the less zealous to honour with feasts and pieces of Gallantry your illustrious Alliance The Colonel thanked his Major for his kindness and civility trusted into his hand the handsome Bride to carry her back fearing if he should keep her the whole day according to the motion of his heart some body might have occasion to suspect something through so long an absence The company rose up Madam Berenice profered a kiss to her old sensible who staid half a quarter of an hour glued upon her cheeks even to the very shedding of tears out of joy I leave you to think whether our unfortunate Self-Rival bore this action very patiently in his heart he I say who reckoned all the kisses the old man did give to Berenice and looked upon them as as many thefts of his own goods but being of his moderation and policy to dissemble he plaid fairly the part of a Paranymph stopping up the sentiments of a desperate lover he led my Lady to the Coach and attended her to her lodging where he had not time to injoy the pleasure of a long conversation because the Colonel either already grown jealous or impatient to get all things in order against the next day had desired him to return as soon as he could taking his leave of the Lady he offered to kiss her hand as he was used to do but she refused him that favour with a gentle pride whereupon he could not forbear to tell her What Madam I did presume my services ought to make me bolder and you more private but it proves now quite contrary you refuse that to day by contempt which you granted me yesterday by inclination have you a mind to justify the sentence that saith humours change manners or am I guilty of any fault that may deserve the privation of your esteem By no means Sir answered Berenice if I deny you to day what I granted yesterday 't is out of justice not of any resentment I could not without crime since ingratitude is one forget the great benefits I received of your zeal but could I neither without injustice dispose of a good that is no more mine you know to whom I belong When heaven hath put anend to the work whose happy consummation I am so greedy of then I will prove as much faithful to you as I am now to him which the same heaven hath set over me for some while So judicious and reasonable an answer ought to satisfy and calm again the most peevish of men yet the Major could not like it because he had foolishly fancy'd this alliance should serve but as a shadow to his pleasures he made to himself a great violence to stop his humour and coldly took his leave of Berenice but as soon as he had stept into the Coach he gave himself over as a prey to the most terrible trouble of mind that can be imagined he bids the Coachman to drive twice round about the town The coach was very well stuff'd with cotton nevertheless he finds himself uneasie within One while he leans on his elbow at the right another at the left hand puts now his hat on his knee then on his his head looks earnestly on the boot yet being there saluted by many he saluted none again 'T is impossible to tell how several and extravagant postures he puts himself upon till at last he arrives at his Rivals house where he calls back all that he can of his former tranquillity but alas in vain as far as the old man could see him he cryed out merrily Well Sir what is my pretty Lady now a doing What business was she about when you left her He heard not a word of that being come nearer the Colonel reiterates the same question which he heareth with the same attention So strange a wandering of thoughts surprised the old man who for the third time went on in his former motion but at that our Lover quite out of countenance answered Yes Sir yes which as you may judge was a very extravagant repartee at first the Colonel was apt to believe his Major had been ingaged in some excessive drinking but reflecting upon the little while there was since he had left him and seeing besides he looked not at all as a fuddled man he conceived so ill an opinion of this minister of his love that he could never since find in his heart to look upon him with a good eye he played nevertheless fair to him invited him to supper and through the several discourses they had together he perceived clearly he was not at all satisfied of Berenice Lysandre who was always busy about some cloath which he did never buy in a Drapers shop next to his dear Ladies lodging observed from thence all the Majors steps and what time he was either going in or coming out of the house he spyed that day above three hours and after he had at last seen him step in to the Coach he immediately flew to Berenice which allowed him to savour an hundred kisses upon her sweet lips with as much privacy as with pride she refused to the Major a simple kiss of her hand She summed up to him all that came to pass in the interview with the old man next they both renewed their mutual protestations of an eternal love and then the wise Lady for some just reasons dismissed him with an unvaluable kiss strickly forbidding him to wait any more upon her in that house lest his visits might perhaps prejudice his fortune and advising him further to court more assiduously the Colonel about whom she would not
and gratitude prescribeth to a true Friend and faithful Servant a fair occasion presents it self to signalize my zeal to you and I would think my self the most guilty of all ungrateful men if I could be silent when the keeping of my peace may in some manner countenance the dishonouring of your Illustrious Name My Lord I must needs tell you freely your weakness is a sport to the Town and ye are now the laughing-stock of the world Lysandre stirs never from your house he is always in the arms of my Lady and that ungrateful man who oweth you all that he is forgets himself to that degree as to pay immortal obligations with an affront that can be never wipped out 'T is out of a deep sense of duty that I tell your Lordship that which you cannot read without horror One of your best friends Adieu This cursed Letter produced all the effect the malicious Major could expect and awaked in the old mans Soul those former suspicions which time had almost stifled and extinguished For without examining whether the advice was true or false he gave himself over to the motions which such ugly a picture may breed in a jealous heart Nevertheless for his own gravity sake he thought fit to shew no alteration in his carriage towards Lysandre and his wife and that it would be sufficient to appoint her the next Chamber whither there was no passage but through his own pretending it would be an extraordinary comfort to him in his infirmities to have her always by himself Berenice who suspected nothing from the Major sticked not to give that satisfaction to her old bed-fellow and cheerfully changed her apartment Now the Lieutenant Colonel and the Major come every day exactly in waiting but the old man seems to have neither eyes nor tongue for the former yet because none or little account was made of what he was doing or speaking Berenice thought Lysandre ought not to be much troubled for 't and told him publickly that the Majors voice being stronger it was no wonder if he could be better heard of an old man who had no more his ears of five and twenty Well but he had another cause of trouble far more grievous than that Whatever time hour or part of the day he might chuse to go into the Colonels lodging in hope of injoying some delightful moments with his dear Mistress he found her always the unseparable but sorrowful fellow of the old gouty coxcomb who was over him an exceeding troublesome Argus he was consumed with an ardent desire to discourse privately with her but finding no opportunity he thought Letters would serve his turn against the watchful eyes of the old man and really wrote her the ensuing one which he impressed with the hot character of his impatient love But how lamentable was the sort of this unhappy Letter and what a brook of tears did it draw from the fair eyes of Berenice Madam IF there be nothing in the world that may break the bonds wherewith our hearts are united must it there be also nothing but opposeth the union of our persons The more heaven favoors and countenanceth my Love the more fate persecuteth it Life and jealousy playing booty together have resolved to bring me to despair Is it not enough then to a single man to live fourscore years and must he reckon as many ages as Mathusael or those primitive springs of life But let him overlive an age I grant it must jealousie concert with it to make unfortunate the two most faithful lovers upon earth When shall I be mine and when shall you be no more slave you I say who being possessed of the right of chaining others ought methinks be free your self what then is a sheet of paper able without burning to contain fires by which I am my self devoured and can it be exact enough faithfully to reckon you the number of my sighs and of the tears I shed No no how eloquent soever love may be he is barren and hath no grace when he takes pen and ink to perswade one of his excess he must explain himself in presence of his object at least Madam mine is of that temper he may indeed tell you something of my passion but he cannot express to you with a pen what motions I feel when I consider you give me leave to bear the honourable quality of your most faithful and devoted servant Lysandre This Letter was slipped in one day Berenice by Galantry let fall her hanckerchief to give Lysandre the pleasure to take it up She took it in and read it as soon as the company went out one may imagine with what transports of joy she read a Letter that had nothing base in its stile and spoke with vehemency of its Authors passion she read it again a great many times and then hid it in the pocket of an under-petticoat The next morning reflecting no more upon her Letter she got her self dressed in a slighter apparel and put not on that petticoat The waiting maid folding it up found out the Letter read it and presently made the Major acquainted with the good luck They appointed and met together to consult how to improve so fair opportunity after some debate on both sides that foolish creature dazzled with the hope the Major would set up her fortune opined the first that the fatal Letter must fall into the hands of the Colonel that would not fail to deal with Lysandre so severely that the Major should be revenged at an high rate but he being unwilling to appear in the least concerned in that plot to not incur the just resentment of a woman that never could forgive him such huge and insign a Treason desired her to find out a way that might secure his reputation in case of any discovery Well Sir saith she if I am not mistaken this will serve our turn very well Some day or other when my Lord is alone I will come softly near his bed If he be asleep I 'l let fall this Letter down nigh the bed presently I 'l get down into the kitchin from whence I 'le send up the little Page to look about my Lord. That simple boy seeing the Letter upon the flower will believe that my Lord stirring let it fall from his pillow under which he is used to keep all Papers that are directed to him he wo'nt fail to put it again in his hands and so we may be confident that the Letter shall infallibly be read of him Excellent well excellent well cryed out the Major the stroke is sure nothing was ever better concerted but pray lose no time make hast and be certain I le take care of your fortune It was done as said The Letter came into the hands of the old man who after the reading of it stood a while almost out of his sense but having recollected his spirits he saw as clear as the Sun how true was the unknown friends Letter and resolved to