are but simple women little able to doe either you or her that good which you might haue reaped by the word of God preached but yet if it please you to giue vs leaue wee will shew our mindes what a comfortable thing it is for man and wife to liue together in loue and charity Ezer Indeed I thinke no two women in the towne no nor in the whole country can shew it better then you because you know what it is by experience Abig. Wee thanke God wee both haue experience of it to our comforts and so would we that you had with the losse of the best horse or cow that either of vs haue Ezer I thanke you both and I had rather then the best gelding in my stable with twenty pound vpon his backe Abig. Seeing then that peace betweene man and wife is so comfortable you would so gladly enioy it with so great losse will you bee content to hearken and bee thankefull to God if that wee shew you a direct way how you and your wife might agree together as long as you shall liue Ezer Be contented say you yea be glad of the time that euer you set footing ouer my threshold I haue had so much vnquietnesse alreadie that me thinkes a little peace would be as a little paradice to my soule but yet if my wife did know that I desired and labored for peace shée would be the further off it except God wrought aboue ordinary in her Abig. We are but women therefore something bashfull as it beseemes vs to speake vnto you beeing a man of these matters yet vnder leaue and correction we will do our good wil to declare those things which wee haue learned and partly know by experience Ezer You are both ancient and I am but young and my wife also and therefore I would you could direct and tell vs a way how to liue quietly Abig. First of all before you can loue one another as you ought you must labour for the loue of God which must bee shed abroad in your heartes the which loue will cause you to loue one another Ezer I hope wee haue the loue of God already otherwise I am of the minde that hee would either punish vs or else take his blessings from vs. Abig. Doe you not thinke this a great punishment that you cannot agree Truly I may safely say that it is a punishment both to your bodies and soules Ezer I confesse indeed that it is a punishment but yet I hope that God loueth many men women that yet fall out betwixt themselues Abig. Surely if there bee continuall strife it is an euident signe that the Lord loueth not the one of them if not both Ezer But how should wee know whom it is that the Lord doth not loue Abig. They which are the cause of the continuing and breeding of the broiles Ezer That is my Xantip Abig. But who will you be iudged by Ezer By God and the country Abig. Well God iudgeth the heart for your selfe we haue heard that you haue a good report among your neighbours therefore I haue the better hope of you and therefore I pray you let me aske you one question Ezer Aske me two if you will I will tell you if I can I like your talke so well Abig. What thinke you is the loue of God to his children Ezer That is too hard a question for me to answer I doe not professe my selfe a Diuine Abig. But euery Christian ought to be a Diuine especially in such principles as the loue of God is without which none possible can be saued in this life nor in the life to come Ezer I do beleeue verily that whomsoeuer the Lord loues not them hee hates and whomsoeuer he hates vpon them abides his wrath and heauy displeasure till hee bestow vpon them his loue and therefore I pray you if you can shew me what the loue of God is and I will gladly heare you Abig. The singular loue of God vnto his elect is that whereby he loueth them in himselfe and hath adopted them in his sonne Christ before the foundations of the world and hereto pertaines predestination vocation the gift of faith and of the spirit iustification regeneration and eternall saluation with whatsoeuer is good comfortable and profitable for them in this life And here by your patience it shall not bee amisse to shew likewise the loue of Christ vnto his Church because we are to fetch our light from his candle Ezer I pray you do for I haue both good leasure and pleasure to heare you Abig. Our Lord Iesus Christ being in the throne of glory yea being the Lord of glory disrobed himselfe and came downe from heauen and of God became man for our sakes taking our nature vpon him endured much misery for the space of 30 yeares vpward was as an exile amongst his cruell enemies which reproched buffeted blasphemed persecuted him vnto death besides that hee suffered the wrathfull displeasure of his Father in his soule and the grieuous torments of hell that were due vnto vs that he might free vs therefrom as it is written The chastisemēt of our peace was laid vpon him by his stripes are we healed Esay 53. Hee was made a curse for the sinne of man that so man might in him bee blessed Therefore neighbour how ought these things to worke vpon our consciences and to force euery one of vs particularly to say O miserable wretch that I am that for my sinne my Sauiour should suffer such horrible punishment ô sweet Sauiour how am I bound to praise and thanke thee Who am I that thou shouldest thinke much lesse looke on me or doe any thing for me seeing that I haue so many waies offended thee But this is thy mercy yea thine incomprehensible and vnspeakeable loue that thou shouldest not onely free me from death and damnation but bring me to life and saluation euen to a better estate then Adam was in before his fall O the admirable mercy of God and the incomprehensible loue of Christ how am I bound vnto thee What thankes and praise is due vnto thy maiesty for these vnspeakeable blessings for that thou hast not onely freed me from eternal misery but hast brought me vnto euerlasting happines and made me one with thee as thou art one with thy Father that I might bee glorified in thee as thou art in him to this end thou hast made me bone of thy bone and flesh of thy flesh so that thou art become wholly mine with all things that belong to thee Eul. O good neighbour consider of this vnspeakeable loue of God and his Son Christ towards his whole Church in generall and to euery one of his children in particular how that the Lord of his free grace hath wrought in vs repentance and faith and hath shed his loue abroad in our hearts and assured vs of the frée pardon of all our sinnes and of his euerlasting loue
winkt at it and kept in his displeasure On a day he willed his wife for recreations sake to walke with him into the country to her father Oh shee was in heauen when she heard of that went with al her heart with him to her fathers house Being come thither he left his wife talking with her mother sisters himselfe went into the fields a hunting with his father in law being there and no body by he told his father in law how he hoped that he had happened on a comfortable companion to haue past his life withall but now he perceiued that he had one alwaies puling and complaining and pittifully taking on and that hée could not helpe it with whatsoeuer he could say Therefore he prayed his father to play the Physition and to cure his daughters malady Her father made him this answere Son saith he once in the Church I deliuered my daughter to you if she will not be ruled by your counsell vse your authority Then the young man thus replied Father I know very wel what I may do by my place and authority but I had rather shee might bee brought into order by your skill and authority then to vse the extreme remedy of Stafford law Vpon that his father promised him to do whathe could to cure and physicke his daughters crooked and peruerse disposition Within a day or two therefore he pickt out a fit oportunity both of time place to deale alone with his daughter Calling her to him aside and composing his countenance in a graue and grim manner and solemne sort he beganne to shew her what a hard fauoured woman she was and of no louely qualities and how he was oft afraid least hee should neuer haue bestowed her in marriage and yet saith hee through the great care that I haue had for thee I haue procured thee such an husband as the most courteous and beautifull damsell that is could not desire a better To be briefe the fathers spéech grew so hot that hee could scarce hold his hands The young woman moued partly with feare and partly with the truth of that her father told her fell downe at his feet praying him to forgiue her and promising euer after to be mindfull of her dutie Her father forgaue her and said further that hee would shew himselfe a right father if she would doe as she promised Xant And what followed Eu. The young woman going from her father returned to her chamber finds her husband all alone fals vpon her knees cried O husband vnwise as I was I haue not hitherto knowne you nor my selfe hereafter you shall sée me become a new woman only good husband forgiue and forget my former disobedience This vnexpected humble spéech of his wife hée welcomed with a kisse and promised her all things if shée would still continue in this minde Xant Yea but did she so Eul. Yes to her dying day neither was there any seruice so base which shée would not willingly vndergoe at her husbands pleasure howsoeuer Margery it may be you would haue done it at your leasure And there grew euery day such great loue betwixt thē that within few yeares she would often in company reioyce blesse God that shee was matched with such a husband whom if shée had not maried she thought there should not haue bene a more miserable creature vnder the Sunne Marg. Such men as these are as rare as white crowes Xant Yet you haue such an one Eul. The greater shall her iudgment be except she repent for there are few women in the country I can tell you that haue such a religious husband who seeketh by all meanes her saluation Xant Haue you no mo such exāples Eul. Yes that I haue and one especiall one which I hope will please Margery it being much in the commēdation of a woman as the other was of a man Xant I pray you let vs heare it Eul. There was a neighbour of ours a very honest man but somewhat of a hastie nature and of a waspish tetchy disposition on a day he beate his wife a woman by common report of singular good carriage and excellent behauiour such an one as Abigail being very well beloued of all her neighbours Being beaten abused of her husband she betakes her selfe into her secret closet and there shee sits sighing and sobbing so easing her heart and disgesting her griefe Soone after vpon occasion her husband went into that roome and finding his wife wofully weeping saies to her Why sittest thou here fighing sobbing and crying like a child Shee then thus prudently and patiently answered Husband said shee is it not better to doe thus here to bewaile my griefe where no body heares nor sees then to runne and cry out in the streetes and to exclaime on you as others do on their husbands By this wise and gentle speech of his wife the stout heart of her husband was broken hee gaue her his right hand and promised that hee would neuer touch her againe in any euill manner neither did he Xant I haue brought my husband to that passe too but yet another way then she did Eul. But I thinke you cannot yet agree Xant Why what would you haue me to do Eul. O Xantip how oft haue I told thee how thou shouldst behaue thy selfe to thy husband I perceiue thou hast a bad memory or at least small list to learne sith so soone thou forgettest thy duty Wel once more I wil tel thee First you must put vp all iniury at his hands Marg. Yea so one might soone bée made a foole a foot-stoole I would rather do him two for one Eul. Hold you your tongue Margery I speake not to you but to Xantip Then Xantip you must labour to win his good will by doing all duties with chearefulnesse and louing kindnesse so shal you at last ouercome him or at least you shall haue him in a farre better temper then he is in at this present Xant Alas woman he is farre fiercer then he was before I feare me no gentlenesse will preuaile with him Eul. Feare not woman there is no wild beast so sauage but by gentle handling it may be tamed be not then hopelesse of a man do but put in practise vre my aduice for a few moneths and then blame me if you find not my counsell to doe you good There are some smal faults which you must winke at take heede that you giue no occasion of contention and thinke no scorne to be seruiceable in those things which become you There are some women that will be euer frumping or whining seldome or neuer vsing any amiable behauiour toward their husbands which is a signe that they haue not the loue of God shed abroad in their hearts For if they had it would cause them to loue their husbands vnspeakeably Xant Indéed gossip I must tell you plainly I cannot shew that loue to my husband that I should and some do to
which hee vnderwent for the loue he bare vnto her and to winne her vnto him againe and still how he doth send his messengers and embassadours to entreate his Church in his stead to bee reconciled vnto him Eul. One would thinke that these things should cause the heart of man to stoop and to bend his affections vnto his wife Ezer Yes verily so thinke I too little had I thought that any could haue made these things so plaine Abig. If so be you thinke these things so euident which I a simple woman haue opened vnto you how much more euident then thinke you should they haue bene if a godly learned man had had the matter in handling Ezer Well séeing it is so plaine as it is what is the next course that I must take that there may be peace and continuall loue betwéene me and my wife Abig. After you haue done as I haue set downe and declared your loue vnto your wife you then with wisedome and reuerence and in a louing manner must shew vnto her her miserable estate which she stands in and the iudgements of God due vnto her for sinne that so she may be humbled Ezer But if I should tell my Xantip of her miserable estate she would be so farre from humbling her selfe that she would rather be ready to fly in my face Abig. I hope not so But hearken I pray you Men do many times faile in the manner of their directions and admonitions vnto their wiues which is the cause that they profite no more then they do for commonly in their anger they will tell their wiues of their faults and that in such a hastie and hare-braind sort as spoiles all or else whē their wiues are moodie and troubled in minde so that it is no maruell that they doe more hurt thē good The very heathen would not fight nor reproue in their anger how much more then ought Christians to waite their oportunities when they may do the most good Ezer Why but do you hold then that a man may beate his wife when he is quiet Abig. Nay Much lesse when he is angry Eul. There was neuer any that hated their owne flesh but nourished and cherished it Now the wife is the husbands owne flesh as it is written They twaine shall be one flesh Therefore c. Ezer Yea but though he beate her yet he néed not hate her And againe hath not the man as much power ouer his wiues body as the father hath ouer the child but the father may correct and whip his child for his fault and yet loue him too For it is written in the Prouerbs Hee that corrects not his child hates him Abig. The comparison is not equall howsoeuer it bee granted that the husband hath power ouer the wiues body yet it is not in that manner as the father hath power ouer the childs he hath power ouer the wines body for procreation and so she hath power ouer his and both ouer the childs for correction So by this kinde of reasoning the wife hath as great prerogatiue ouer the mans body as the man hath ouer the wiues For so saith the Apostle The man hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife nor the wife ouer hers but her husband Ezer Againe it is said that S. Paul did beate downe his own body to bring it vnder when it would not bee in subiection from whence wee may gather that the wife being as the mans owne body may be beaten when she will not otherwise be kept vnder but be checkemate with him that thereby she may be brought into subiection to him Abig. By beating the Apostle meanes not a striking a flapping or whipping of himselfe as the foppish Papists falsely imagine but a taming of his body by abstaining from those thinges which might puffe vp his flesh and so indeed we grant that a man in wisedome when hee sees the stoutnesse of his wiues stomacke or the pride of her heart and raging of her affections swell either against God or him then I say he is to restraine her from those thinges which might make her more malapert and hee may then vse such holy meanes as may keepe her vnder Eul. Men as Abigail shewed are to loue their wiues as Christ loued his Church Ezer Yea but you know though Christ loue his Church yet if it will not be ruled by him he will correct it and that sharply so by your owne reason is a man to loue his wife yet if shee will not be obedient to him he may correct her by Christs example Abig. Howsoeuer it is said that the Lord correcteth his Church if shee will not be ruled by him he doth not thereby giue example or encouragement that any man should beate his wife but it serueth to awe vs lest we offend his maiesty neither can any doe it in that manner nor bring profite thereby as Christ doth As for the manner of Christs correcting his Church it is in loue but neuer was it heard that euer any man did beate his wife in loue And againe he should doe to his wife as to himselfe but euery one would account him a mad man that would beate himselfe Further the Church by Gods correctiō is made better but the wife would bee made more vnruly and outragious by beating We are women haue some experience of these things Ezer I thinke you rather speake because you would not haue husbands to vse their authority Abig They haue no such authoritie neither will we for our parts giue them occasion to straine that which they haue vpon the tenters Ezer I would my wife would giue me no occasion neither Eul. I suppose by your spéech that you haue had many bouts Ezer Yea that we haue till the bloud hath run downe the one of our faces Abig. O lamentable thing to bee heard of in a Christian common wealth betwéene man and wife Eul. But how much the better hath she bene Ezer Not so much as I haue bene the worse and shee also was worse and worse rather Abig. I pray you neighbour therefore follow our counsell though we bee but women Ez. What would you haue me to do Abig. Suppose now that you had some deformitie on your face which did dis-figure you so much the one would be loath to looke vpon you and if you could helpe it what would you do Ezer If that by any meanes I could helpe it I would presently and if I could not then I would couer it that none should see it Abig. So likewise ought you to deale with your wife for shee is a speciall member of your body yea as hath bene said shee is as your selfe therefore as you helpe the deformitie of your owne face or if you can not heale it couer it so must you do vnto your wiues deformities Againe if you had committed some filthy and abhominable sinne which were not to be named and there were onely one or two that did know it what would
and fauour in his Sonne Christ Iesus our Lord and hath made vs one with himselfe his Sonne partakers of his diuine nature and hath filled our hearts with vnspeakeable comfort and ioy of the holy Ghost which wee desired so much in the daies of our affliction And further hath giuen vnto vs his Spirit which is the earnest pennie of our euerlasting happinesse and which doth sanctifie vs daily more and more and strengthen vs to euery good worke and hath promised that no good thing shall be wanting vnto vs if we will be obedient vnto him How ought these things to cause vs to loue God againe and for his sake to loue one another seeing that he of his méere mercy hath made vs partakers of such happinesse Ezer They are happy indeede that haue all these things bestowed vpon them which you haue spoken of Abig. Euery true Christian is in such a happy estate before they can find sound comfort vnto their soules or before they can performe any duty pleasing vnto God or before they can loue their wiues as they ought Ezer Then there are but few that loue their wiues as they ought Abig. It is true indéed and more is the pitty For some loue their wiues for their lusts sake some for their beauties sake some for their riches sake some for their friends sake some for natures sake some for necessities sake because they sée if they should not it would not stand with their quiet profite credit But take once away the aforesaid causes their loue falles to the ground If it bee for lust when that is satisfied he rather hates thē loues her as Ammon did his sister 2. Sam. 13.15 if for beauty as that vanisheth his loue decaieth if for riches nature or friends sake as they lessen his loue lessens with them if it be for necessitie it is counterfaite or if she winne his loue as some doe by her faire language then it turneth as the winde Finally if it be for any outward cause or for all the causes vnder the cope of heauen without the loue of God it will bee vncomfortable vnconstant and vnsound but if it be for the loue of God though for no other cause in the earth it wil be vndefiled comfortable continuall and increase more and more But all loue else whatsoeuer that proceedes from the husbande to the wife and from the wife to the husband is rebellion against God and the more a man loues his wife or the wife her husband the more they sinne against God Howsoeuer this may séeme harsh vnto worldly men yet that which doth ensue will make it plaine for the more that both husband and wife loue each other without louing God the more they will seeke to fulfill their fleshly lusts though they be neuer so much against God and his word Therfore it behoues euery man to loue his wife with such loue as Christ did his Church Ezer What manner of loue was that Abig. It was not fleshly but spirituall not earthly but heauenly Ezer But must he not loue her outwardly and prouide such things for her as are necessary profitable and comfortable for the preseruing and cherishing of her body Abig. Yes it is the part and dutie of euery man chiefly of a Christian so to doe as I would haue shewed you anon or else he shall not onely sinne against her but against God also Ezer I pray you now shew how a man must first shew his loue to his wife and what is the first fruit of his loue Abig. In the first place hee must giue himselfe vnto God with fasting prayer that the Lord would blesse his enterprises and proceedings and when he hath humbled himselfe vnto God he must not thinke much to humble him selfe to his wife Eul. This wil be harsh vnto the most men and they will hardly or neuer bee brought vnto it Abig. But if they will be Christian men they must do it and that for these causes First because it is not hurtfull but good and profitable not against the word but warrantable and commanded by it And lastly because Christ hath giuen them example so to do Eul. I pray you if you can shew these things more plainly Abig. For the first if you looke from the beginning of Genesis to the latter end of the Apocalypse you shall neuer finde it spoken against either openly nor inclusiuely and therupon I gather that seeing it is profitable it may bee practised in a ciuil and courteous manner And againe humility is a vertue and the more eminent place a man is in the more it doth adorne him if he be endued with it And further though he bee in neuer so high a place hee is commanded to humble himselfe to his brethren yea and to make himselfe as he is a Christian equall with them of the lower sort Now if it bee his dutie to humble himselfe towards euery one to make himselfe equall with those of the lowest sort then much more to his wife Againe they are commanded to honour their wiues as the weaker vessels that is as I take it not onely to beare with their wiues infirmities but to submit their mindes vnto them in that which is good kindly to intreate them in humblenesse of minde and to aduance their credit and good name and to stand in their defence against whomsoeuer that oppose themselues against them And lastly by Christs example they are to be lowly and humbly to submit themselues vnto their wiues as he doth vnto his Church and people Ezer How doth Christ humbly submit himselfe vnto his Church and people Abig. Christ doth submit and humble himselfe vnto his Church and people both in himselfe and by others His submissiō is shewed both by his words gesture and actions By his words when he louingly intreats her to leaue her corruptions and to accept of his louing fauour and kindnesse which he offers vnto her as a token of his loue and vnfaigned desire he hath that she should bee at peace with him and to the end that he might win her loue hee makes many gracious and beauteous promises vnto her yea hee bestowes many rich treasures vpon her suing wooing of her and sometimes when she turnes her backe vpon him hee turnes his face to her saying what ailes my loue my doue my vndefiled spouse when she is sad he wil make her ioyful many times when shée frownes hée will looke vpon her with a chearefull countenance And againe he attendeth and waiteth at the gates of her portall saying Behold I stand at the doore and knocke open vnto me my loue my doue and vndefiled And moreouer for his Churches sake which is his wife he bended his knées and humbled himselfe vnto the earth yea vnto death and that vnto the most shamefull and horrible death of the crosse What baesnesse did hee refuse to honour her Consider the reproches and indignities he endured of the paines miseries