of the Lord than great treasure of God's word in thy mouth and the trouble of thy tongue therewith He (z) Heb 11.4 who being dead yet speaks of spiritual life is infinitely far from that speech which (a) Ca. 411. Christ Jesus calls comely and yet if he were not the wise man tells us Excellent speech (b) Pro. 17.7 becomes not a fool O my soul my soul Take thou (c) Mat 10.19 then no thought how or what thou shalt speak of God or his wayes (d) Mat 12.35 but out of the good treasure of thy heart Let it ever be given unto thee what thou shalt say (e) Mal. 2.6 Let the Law of Truth be in thy lips (f) Psal 15.2 and speak the truth in thine heart The way to be without offence is to be sincere and make clean the insides of the vessels (g) Phil 1.10 the Kingdom of God is not in word 14. A Soliloquy with God complaining of vile Affections OH my God my God! (h) Job 19.23 24. oh that thy words were now written in the Book of my heart Oh that they were printed in my conscience That they were engraven with an iron pen and lead in the rock of my heart for ever But alas (i) Psal 1.6 I am affraid of ten thousands of vile affections which have beset themselves round about me not onely to keep me from holy wisdom that (k) Pro. 6.25 I lust not after her beauty in my heart nor let her take me with her eye-lids that I am not ravish'd with one (l) Can 4.9 of her eyes and one chain of her neck (m) Job 29.22 but to make me mock at her sear and not be affrightned nor turn back from her swords to say among her trumpets Ha ha to scorn the thunder of her captains and their shouting Nay and as if they themselves were not enough they say to all temptations (n) Pro 1.11 12 Pro. 1.17 Come with us let us lay wait for blood let us lurk privily for all the Laws of God that ever come here Let us swallow them up alive as the grave and whole as those that go down to the pit O my God are not all thy nets spread in vain in the sight of such Birds as my worldly affections who say of heavenly-mindedness (o) Ecc 2.2 that it is mad and of self-denyal what doth it who taunt at my conscience saying (p) Can 5.9 What is thy beloved more than another beloved O my God! I confess it 't is but just on me (q) Isa 1.2 I have nourish'd and brought up these children of Belial and now they rebel against me domineering over my heart the womb that bare them and the dugs that gave them suck so that (r) Ro. 7.15 that which she allows not she does that which she would she does not and does what she hates And verily oh my God these (s) 1 Co 1.27 foolish things confound the wise within me these weak confound the things that are mighty (t) Eccl 4.1 I have considered all the oppressions that are done under the Sun but oh my God I know none like those done by my vile affections (u) Isa 3.15 which beat thy good Teachings to pieces and grind the faces of my poor convictions which fence up my way that I cannot pass from them and set darkness about all my paths which make me ever and anon grumble (x) Psal 73.13 I have cleansed my heart in vain and washed my hands in innocency to wit while they say to my graces and comforts (y) Jer. 13.18 Humble your selves sit down for your principalities shall come down even the crown of your glory Oh my God my God! 't is through these that (z) Jer. 12.2 3. thou so often art near in my mouth and far from my reins but oh thou that knowest me seest me and tryest my reins thou knowest that I pray thee for the love of Christ to pull them out like sheep for the slaughter and prepare them for the day of slaughter For alas alas (a) Isa 57.20 they are like the troubled sea when it cannot rest whose waters cast up mire and dirt the winds and the seas will obey me assoon as they and the worst of it is (b) Pro 29.12 That my Rulers my judgement and conscience do but too often hearken to their lies and then all their servants my will memory and all other powers are wicked and so wicked as that if any good seed get into me (c) Job 14.2 it comes up like a flower and is cut down it flees as a shadow and continues not My God I fear at my yery heart (d) 2 Câ—â— 26 2â— That as Vzziah I shall be a leper to my death and dwell in a several house sever'd from the near access to thee and thy holiness which my heart pants for because really I am (e) Job 2.6 in the hand of these devils onely thou savest my life of which it self I am wofully afraid when many times (f) Psa 46.9 they make my very warfare with them to cease they break my spiritual bows and cut my spears in sunder and burn the Chariots of God in the fire Their cursed peace being (g) Isa 48 18.19 all the whiles as a River and their unrighteousness numerous and boisterous as the waves of the sea Their ungodly seed as the sand and their off-spring as the gravel thereof Oh my God if whosoever (h) Luk 14.11 exalts himself shall be abased sure I should hope these corrupt affections were to be brought down for sure they exalt themselves above thy own Majesty When I sometimes query with them methinks the sum of their answer is what was said of old These (i) Isa 48.5 and these things mine idol hath done and my graven image and my molten image hath commanded them They are stedfast and unmoveable alwayes abounding in the works of sin and vanity They are (k) Eph 6.10 11 17. strong in the Devil and the power of his might putting on his whole armour that they may be able to stand against the very sword of the spirit the Word of God O my God (l) 2 Ti 3.16.17 I find they are notable for doctrine for reproof for corrections for instruction in unrighteousness that the child of disobedience may be perfect throughly furnish'd unto all evil works they subtly (m) T it 2.12 13 teach to deny all spiritual Godliness and Grace and to live indeed unsoberly unrighteously and ungodly in this present world looking for that hope which makes asham'd They (n) Jam 1.21 lay apart all spivituality and godly sineerity and receive with proud desperateness the devices of Satan the least of which is enough to damn humane souls To do evil and to communicate it they (o) Heb 13.16 forget not for with such sacrifices the god of this world
Law ought not to depart out of a man's mouth so neither ought it to enter in save (k) Mat. 12.34 out of the hearts abundance Eliphaz advises (l) Job 22.22 Job to lay up God's word in his heart not his mouth (m) Pro 3.1 Prov. 4.23 and Solomon thought no cabinet so proper to keep divine Commands in as it Nay God himself chuses the Tables of the heart (n) Jer. 31.33 for to write his Laws in which makes me conclude A man may keep his mouth and tongue richly and yet never keep (o) Pro. 21.23 his soul from troubles and this because I know whatever entreth in at the mouth if it find no place in the heart it goes into (p) Mat 15.18 the belly of hidden lusts and is cast out into their draught The things of God which proceed out of the mouth when they proceed not forth out of the heart they defile the man So little a praise is it to be a man of pure lips if no more and especially if that of the (q) Isa 29. wise man be true to wit that though (r) Pro. 14.23 in all labour there be profit yet lip labour has a direct tendency to povertie Oh my soul (s) Pro. 11.9 Solomon tells thee That the Hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour I tell thee more even that he destroys himself for though he has (t) Pro. 7.14 9 15 16 17 18 19 20. Peace offerings with him and every day payes his vows yet he goes forth in the black and dark angels of his soul to meet the Devil diligently to find him though he decks his bed with covering of religious Tapestry with carved works and fine linen of profession though he perfumes his bed with myrrh aloes and cinamon yet he takes his fill of spiritual whoredom and solaces himself with atheistical loves while the good conscience is not at home but is turn'd out of doors with a bag of money not to come home till the day appointed even that of Death and Judgement If of any soul alive this oh my soul is true of the hypocritical one He feedeth on ashes a deceiv'd heart hath turn'd him aside that he cannot deliver his soul nor say (u) Isa 44.20 Is there not a lye in my right hand (x) Pro 12.15 For the way of such a fool is right in his own eyes And Christ himself does not deny but he has his reward (y) Mat. 6.2 Mat. 6.4 Mat. 6.7 Mat. 6.6 Mar. 6.31 32 He does his alms to the devil in secret and that father of his who seeth him in secret himself rewards him openly Though when he prayes to God he uses as vain repetitions as the Heathens do yet when he prayes to the devil and wishes for devilish things he keeps in the closet of privacy and shuts all the doors at which men may see in He takes no thought saving What shall I do to eat Christ's flesh or drink his blood or cloath me with the garment of his Righteousness For after all these things do true Israelites seek but he seeks first the titular Kingdom of God and the professional Righteousness thereof and thinks all these things shall be added He takes no care for to morrow but lets that care for it self Sufficient he thinks unto the Day of Judgement if to any day is the evil thereof His love I can't say is without dissimulation but sure (z) Mat 5.44 love he does his enemies God's Lawes bless he does them though they curse him and pray for God's promises though they despightfully use him and give him no one drop of comfort He 's even almostas perfect as his father which is inHell is perfect This indeed oh my soul (a) Mat 7.11 9 10 9 10. I observe that being evil the hypocrite knows how to give good gifts and though when his friend asks of him for bread what he gives him in respect of himself be no more than a stone and he takes no more in it yet to his friend 't is good bread Though the Truths he delivers be to himself serpents that sometimes sting his soul yet as he delivers them they are fish What is (b) 2 Co 4.2 handling the Word of God deceitfully if this be not to wit Taking it (c) Deu 30.14 very nigh one even into ones mouth and yet not so much as know it any otherwise than God knows the proud to wit (d) Psal 138.6 afar off to be not a hearer onely but a talker too and yet not a (e) Jam 1.22 doer of the Word to do with it many wonderful works by it to (f) Mat 7.22 cast out devils and nevertheless as the Pharisees and Scribes (g) Mar 7.13 making that of none effect to ones self Oh my soul for the love of God let not the Word of God (h) Psa 119.103 be sweet to thy mouth and not to thy tast (i) 1 Th 5 26. Kiss it with no Judas-like but with a holy kiss (k) Mat 13.57 As 't is said of a prophet he is not without honour save in his own countrey so may it be said of the Word it is not without honour save in its own proper Region that of the heart (l) Deu 4.9 Oh keep thy heart and it more dear than thy hearts blood with all diligence (m) Psa 45.1 Let thy heart endite good matters of it (n) Pro 15.13 Pro. 15.15 A merry heart makes a chearful countenance Let thy hearts mirth in it be that which sets thy chearful countenance on it 'T is a heart a heart a heart I tell thee a merry heart with it which hath a continual Feast for the Lord and from the Lord. In the Word God opens his heart to the Word open thy heart even the hidden man of thy heart Oh my soul (o) 1 pe 3.4 I charge thee before God who has quickned thee and before Jesus Christ who never made or will endure rotten professions that thou take not the oyl (q) Psa 104.15 of the Word to make thy face to shine without the wine of the Word to make thy very heart glad in the Lord. (r) Jam 3.5 The tongue is a little member don't think that God intended it for the Seat and Dwelling house of his great Law (s) Pro. 16.1 The answer of the tongue is indeed from the Lord but when When the preparations of the heart in man be so to (t) pro. 15.7 the tongue is the dispenser and should be the disperser of holy knowledge But the heart my soul the heart 't is that has the good (u) Mat 6.21 treasure and as 't is true where the treasure is there the heart will be so really where the heart is there the (x) Mat 12.35 treasure will be good or bad O my soul better is a little in the heart (y) Pro. 15.16 with the fear
Job 9 30. one of a thousand Nav sometimes (u) Psa 14.3 there 's none that does me good no not one Though they have all (x) Joh 10.30 one Father and in truth they and their Father are one For my very life I can't (y) Psal 61.31 trust in them at all times an least not securely For some times in my thirst they have given me (z) Joh 19.29 vineger to drink the conditions frightning me more than the grace comforting But oh my God thou knowest I wish I were (a) Mat 25.43 44 sick so they might visit me and in prison so they might but minister to me for they have instructed many (b) Job 4.3 4. and have strengthened weak hands They have upholdem him that was falling and strengthened feeble knees Dying souls have set down under their shadow (c) Can 2.3 and their fruit has been sweet to their taste From thy promises oh my God I have known those who have (d) Can 5.1 gathered myrrh and spice honey and honey-comb wine and milk when they had been (c) Lam 3.15 17. filled with bitterness and made drunk with wormwood when their souls had been removed from peace and they had forgot prosperitie (f) Psal 30.6 In my prosperitie I would say indeed I should never be moved and confidently bid (g) Luk 12.19 my soul take more ease than now it dares as having Goods laid up for many years yea for eternity I would remove (h) Ec. 11.10 sorrow from my heart could I but undoubtingly say of thy promises That (i) Joh 17.4 6 10. I have finished the world they gave me to do Could I but boldly tell thee oh my God That thine they were and thou gavest them me and all mine are thine and thine are mine and I am glorified in them But alas as oft as these are not my (k) Psal 33.1 2. shield my glory and the lifter up of my head Lord how are they increased that trouble me many are they that rise up against me many there be which say of my soul There is no help for him in God By night on (l) Can. 3.1 my bed when I seek the particular promises which I have chose for my joy when I seek them and find them not When (m) Can 5.6 I open my heart to them and they withdraw themselves and be gone when (n) Pro. 1.28 I seek them early too and can't find them though my coneeits before had been high (o) Oba 1.3 4. though I had exalted my self as the Eagle and set my nest among the Stars how am I brought down in a momenr How are my (p) 〈◊〉 2.7 lofty looks humbled and my haughtiness brought low My own former comforts (q) Job 30.10 15. abhor me They flee from me and spare not to spit in my face Terrors are turned upon me they pursue my soul as the wind and my welfare passeth away as a cloud For why 't is very true in all thy Laws and Threatnings (r) Psal 34.8 I see the Lord is good but 't is in the promises that I taste and see he is good I can safely say all thy words are sweet but 't is of thy (s) Psa 119.103 promises that I dare cry out Oh how sweet are thy words to my taste All their sweetness is lasting not onely giving my soul a feast but a continual one and that a physical not a diseasegendring one It doth good and that like a medicine it 's honey purges as well as pleases Were it sweet (t) Job 20.12 as sin only in the mouth I could not give it a good word Oh my God the (u) Pro. 9.17 stoln waters of it which my heart in musing takes secretly away the bread of it that I eat in secret places I can't say How sweet they are (x) 1 Co 15.41 there is one glory of the Sun another of the Moon that gives light and heat too and life this onely light There is one glory of thy commanding word that Moon rules in the night we are in throughout our life in this dark world There is another glory of thy promising word that Sun gives light and life to poor souls and makes (y) 2 Co 5.6 us present with the Lord even while we are absent And really (z) Mat 9.15 the children of the Bride-chamber can t mourn while in thy promises they have the Bridegroom with them When they sit at any time in the dark and see no light lo thy promises do make both (a) Josh 10.12 the Sun aforesaid to stand still upon their Gibeon and the Moon in their valley of Ajalon till the faces of their enemies are cloathed with (b) Psa 83.16 shame and the crown of their faith flourisheth on their own heads (c) Mat. 2.20 The Herods which seek the lives of my poor Infant-Graces and Comforts oh my God they are never stone dead I can never say They which sought my childrens lives are dead No they make and I am sure they keep war (d) Rev 17.14 with my Lambs Thy very promises (e) Psal 46.9 can't make their wars to cease but they can (f) Psal 68.30 and do scatter them that delight in war and that which they help me do makes me say experimentally (g) Ex. 15.39 The Lord is a Man of War But oh my God my God How to put on this armour 't is rare that I can tell Though thy promises be (h) Ro. 13.12 armour of Light yet sure 't is such dazling light that I can't tell how to wind and turn it From whence it comes to pass that I am daily (i) Lev. 26.25 delivered over into the hands of sin and sorrow doubt and fear and all enemies and didst thou not as an every dayes Emanuel rid me out and lead my (k) Re. 7.23 captive the sorrows of hell would not onely compass me but swallow me up and I should be not as my (l) 1 Isa 15.29 Saviour was rejected of men and a man of sorrows but rejected of God (m) Isa 53 3. and a man of sorrows How oft oh my God do I hear that voice (n) Luk 12.20 This night thy soul shall be required of thee How oft am I afraid to (o) Pro. 6.4 give sleep to my eies evenwhen I have much ado to keep it from them How few nights in a week can I sleep as do (p) 1 Th. 5.6 athers for they rest from their labours which I can't (q) Psa 40.12 innumerable evils compass me about my iniquities take hold of me so that I am not able to look up or lye down my conscience it self reviles me saying (r) Psa 42.3 Where is now thy God I am (s) Psa 29.9 dumb to my friends because they can't remove my stroak Nay I live (u) 2 Co 6.10 though as sorrowful yet as alwayes rejoycing
in my worst fits being sure of this (x) La. 3. I am a living man And 't is meet for the (y) Isa 38.10 living to praise thee not complain of thee But oh my God my God I pray thee for time to come let that word of Truth by which 〈…〉 (z) Jam 1.18 begat'st me and of a stone dead imp madest me a child to Abraham Feed my (a) 1 Pe 2.2 Babie graces and comforts with its sincere milks and be within me a word of Life Amen Amen 8. A Soliloquy with God about his Threatnings OH my God I have thought That 't is not for indisturbed Professors (b) Pro. 31.4 5 6 7. to drink too much of the wine of the promises and that least they drink and forget the Law its direction and ob igation I have judg'd the strong drink of thy promises to belong to him that is ready to perish and their wines to them that are of feeble hearts that they may drink and not forget but redress their poverty by Christ's wealth and consider That in him they shall feel their misery no more Now thou knowest I am one of that wretched number of men who are setled on their lees and that too often say (c) Zep. 1.12 The Lord will not do good (d) Deu 24.19 neither will he do evil Oh my God thou knowest I have blest my self in my heart saying I shall have peace though I walk in the imagination of my heart I have not been (e) Jer. 48.11 emptied from vessel to vessel neither have I gone into the swift captivity of the Gospel My taste has remain'd in me and my scent has not been chang'd so setled have I been on my lees Oh my God I need that word of thine which is quick and powerful (f) Heb. 4.12 sharper than any two edged sword piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit I need some of its faithful (g) Pro. 27.6 wounds which will do me infinitely more good than all the (h) Pro. 28.23 deceitful kisses which my presumption will never be able to fasten on thy sweetest promises Oh correct me with them withhold them not from my soul for if thou beatest me with them I sha not die Whatever the minds of others are Lord thou shalt beat me with thy (i) Pro. 23.13 14. rod of threatnings and deliver my soul from the hell of self-liking and self-applauding I dare not say to thy richest promises (k) Job 6.22 23. bring unto me or give me reward of your rich substance or deliver me from the enemies hand redeem me from the hand of the Almighty without first saying to thy threatnings O ye just statutes upon my hardness of heart and all my wicked lusts (l) Psal 11.6 rain ye fire brimstone and horrible tempest Bring upon them that shut out my peace (m) 2 Pe 1. a swift destruction for I am sure before such their destruction the heart of man will be haughty O Lord without this passing through the fire of thy threatnings I find when I do my best my hope is cut off and my trust is but (n) Job 〈…〉 a spiders web Thy justice conspicuous in thy treats being as needfull to keep me from presumption as the mercy in thy promises to keep me from despair Oh my God I love thy book the better for thy threats because I find they are the harbingers of the promises and Laws to the world The world cries out (o) Joh. 6.6 They are hard sayings who can bear them I esteem them soft and gentle in every thing saving their objects to whom they are denounced and they are (p) Ro. 2.5 heart-hearted indeed Thou oh my God their authour art a God (q) Ex. 34.6 of grace thy end in giving them is (r) 2 Ti. 1.9 gracious their effects on honest hearts are gracious but to the hard-hearted all things are hard It 's true they bruise but (s) Gen 3.15 a sinners heel even while they bruise sins head if they do give us stripes those stripes are gifts for with them we are (t) Isa 53.5 heal'd they never cutting open any more than an orifice for the oyl of thy promises to come in at I know for the grace of the promises lips and the (u) Can 1.2 savour of their good ointment the virgins foolish as well as wise love them and follow them But oh my God thou (x) Mat. 25.12 knowest thy holy promises will not give that which is holy unto dogs or dogged snarlers at thy righteous treats they won't cast their pearls unto swine (y) Mat 7.6 7. They may ask and conceit it is given them they may seek and fancy they find divine puri ie and peace but a lie is in their right hand (z) Eccl 4.12 and their three fold cords of ignorance errour and pride are easily broken sometimes with mans but ever with Gods judgement which hath made me chuse (a) Heb 11.25 rather to suffer the humiliations and breakings of thy threats than to enjoy such kind of pleasures of heaven it self as are but for a season Oh my God I find within me that which is sweetly drawn to thee with the (b) Hos 11.4 cords of a man and the bands of love But I also find within me that which were not (c) Jer. 23.19 thy word A hammer it could never beat any good into me If thou onely (d) Can 1.5 drawest thy spiritual part with thy promises it will run after thee but my carnal part is not made willing to stoop but in the (e) Psal 110. power of thy forcive Threats (f) Mar 16.16 He that believes shall be saved will animate the Law of my mind but 't is he that believes not shall be damn'd that will break in pieces (g) Ro. 7.23 the Law of my Members I thank thee oh my God for such (h) Zec 2.5 a wall of Fire round about my graces and duties The Law is a defence and the promises are (i) Eccl 7.12 a defence against the weakness of Grace But these Threats are the defence against the streng th of corruption Ten Laws and ten promises won't (k) Deu 32.30 chase a thousand lusts but Two of these will put ten thousand to flight Oh my God Thy promises do lead many but thy Threatnings (l) 2 Co 10.5 drive every thought to the obedience of thy Son (m) Lu 19.27 even those that would not that he should reign over them These rods of iron rule those my Rebels whose (n) 1 Sa 15.23 rebellion is as the sin of witchcrast they are the rod which with the staffe ef thy Laws and Promises do exceedingly (o) Psa 23.4 comfort me If I say That I the chief of sinners have no sin I deceive my self and if I say whilst I have sin (p) 1 Jo 1.8 I am so whole
(r) Mat. 18.8 9. and they have cut it off The eye of faith has offended them and they have pluck'd it out My hope has offended them and they have made it ashamed They have tied milstones about the necks of all my souls graces and thrown them into the depths of Distrust But oh my God my God! though the (s) Gen 49.23 24. Archers have sorely grieved them and shot at them wilt thou yet return their bow to its strength and shall the arms of their hands be made strong by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob From whom is the shepherd and stone of Israel (t) Hos 13.9 14. Though they have destroyed themselves in Thee is their help Ransom thou them from the power of the grave and redeem them from death Say to their death that thou wilt be its plagues and to their graves that thou wilt be their destruction So shall the very dead praise thee and those that have gone down to the pit remember thy Name Nor shall my lusts my (u) Eccl 9.4 living dogs be better than my graces though dead Lions I Redeem oh my God (x) Psal 103.4 Redeem their life from Destruction And for Christ's love (y) Psal 66.9 hold thou their souls as well as mine in life Without thee oh Jesus my life my food my raiment my All without thee what is the life of my grace it is even a (z) Jam 4.14 vapour that appears and but appears for a time and but a little time and vanishes away (a) Job 24.22 No man is sure of their life no though (b) Job 2.4 all that a man hath he would give for their life But oh by thee in whom my graces life is hid may it (c) Luk 21.28 lift up its head and may its salvation draw nigh The winds and seas obey thee make thou the (d) Rev 20.13 sea of my corruptions to give up its dead So shall my love for thee be stronger than death and my jealousie (e) Can 8.7 8. for thy glory be cruel to them as the grave the coals thereof shall be coals of fire which have a most vehement flame No waters shall quench or floods drown it though the devil would give all the substance of this great house of the world for it it should utterly be contemned 19. A Soliloquy of vain Thoughts OH my soul my soul Thy thoughts are thy (a) Gen 49.3 4. Reubens thy first-born thy might the beginning of thy strength the excellency and power if good but if unstable as water thou canst not excel Paul sayes That (b) 1 Co 13.11 when he was a child he thought as a child when a man he thought as a man But verily when I was a child I thought as a beast when a man I thought as a child The mighty God (c) Psal 139.2 understands thy thoughts afar off Oh that thou wouldst understand them better far and near For solemnly I tell thee that though (d) Heb 4.13 all things are naked and open before the God with whom I have to do yet are they secret sins which he is said to set before him and hidden ones that he puts in the (e) Psa 9.7 light of his countenance Though he be justly called (f) Heb 12.23 Judge of all yet particularly and chiefly he is said Coming to judge (g) Ro. 2.16 the secrets of men Of every idle word an account must be given but (h) Mat 12.36 37. of every idle thought which produces millions of them what account can be given If in my sense I was to be justified by my words I should scarce hope well But alas if a man offend not (i) Jam. 3.2 6 8. in word yet if he does in thought he is no perfect man Add hereto that the tongue is no such fire no such world of iniquity no such untamable and unruly member but the heart is by thousands and by ten thousands worse (k) Ecc 10.14 Fools indeed cannot rule their words but the wisest cannot rule their thoughts David protests he hated vain thoughts but never once boasts of a conquest over them Besides what are our words They are even a vapour which appear for a little while and vanish away Evil thoughts are a sin that dwelleth in us and tell me oh my soul oh tell me (l) Jer. 4.14 how long shall they lodge within thee They have lodged in thee so long already that they have begot a hundred monsters opinionative affectional and practical I protest in God's presence to thy face (m) Ecc 4.1 I have considered many of the oppressions that are done under the Sun and like to that of thine own by evil thoughts I know not any My God alone does know what I would give to have my thoughts taught (n) T it 2.5 young womens duty to be discreet chast and keepers at home good obedient to the dictates of my own conscience that the word of God might not be blasphemed to be sober grave temperate sound in faith in charity and patience to be in behaviour as becometh holiness But alas alas (o) Job 2.2 their feet abide not in their home like the devil they are mostly going to and fro in earth they are very (p) Gen 49.21 Pro. 22 6. Naphtali's Hinds let loose and they love to wander Let me train them ever so much in the way wherein they should go Psal 90.9 Mark 14.20 yet instantly they will depart from it If any good be thrown in upon them yet it passes away like a Tale that is told but rarely falls a seed of evil but it takes root and bears some thirty some sixty some a hundred fold As for all foregoing good inclinations and purposes they make them as grass upon (q) Psal 129.6 Hos 4.11 Rom. 11.8 the house tops which withers before it grows up In a word there is much of whoredom and wine and new wine in them which utterly take away the heart and infuse a spirit of flumber The form of Godliness they sometimes feed even (r) Luk 15.22 23. with the fatted calf and cloath with the best robe putting rings on its fingers and tinkling ornaments about its feet too But for the power of Godliness they serve it as Samuel did Agar they hew it in pieces As for the object of Devotion the Holy God ah my soul my soul How abominates he vain thoughts he removes his way far from them he (s) Pro. 5.8 Pro. 4.15 See Pro 6.16 17 18 will not come nigh the door of their house he be sure of it avoids their mansions passes not by it turns from it and passes away Every vain thought is a virtual Gergesen beseeching Christ to get him gone out of the region of the heart and ordinarily a few serve to send him going As for the heart it self the subject of Devotion vain thoughts take the Kingdom of Grace out of
it and very reason too in a great measure they drive it from Saints yea from men They make its dwelling with (t) Dan 4.31 32. Hos 12 1. beasts of the field they make it to eat the grass with carnal oxen with Ephraim to feed on the wind and follow after the Eastwind yea they sometimes turn the children (u) Mat 3.9 of Abraham into stones obdurate and insensible As for acts of Devotion (x) Hos 13.3 Prayer Meditation c. Vain thoughts make them First to be as the morning cloud and as the early dew as the chaff driven with the whirl-wind out of the floor and as the smoke out of the chimney which leave no sign behind them And Secondly to be meer (y) Jud. 12 13. clouds without water trees whose fruit wither without fruit twice dead pluck'd up by the roots raging waves of a sea of hypocrisie foming out the souls shame they make them grievous to us and odious to God As for the means of Devotion holy Meditation alone holy conference with Christians holy use of God's Word and good Books Oh my soul sadly dost thou know how vain thoughts make one (z) Rev 3.16 spue them out of ones mouth or at least tast no more in them than in the white of eggs Thou knowest vain thoughts make the heart like the Leviathans firm as a stone yea hard as a piece of the nether milstone and then let God's Books or his Saints or both say to us as Job to his friends (a) Job 27.11 I will teach you by the hand of God that which is with the Almighty will I not conceal Yet they will be utterly contemn'd and be to us Physicians of no value As for the Opposites and Contraries of Devotion Pride earthlymindedness Atheism it self vain thoughts are those which took them out of the (b) Psal 22.9 10. Psal 25 13. womb upon vain thoughts they were cast from the very breasts and vain thoughts were their Gods even from the belly Vain thoughts make them to dwell at ease and to lift up their heads above the heads of Humility Heavenlymindedness and practical piety All things methinks of every sort sayes to vain thoughts You are our (c) Psal 142.5 refuge and our hiding-place You are the hills whence cometh our help They will not in truth my soul they will (d) Psal 3.5 Hos 13.8 not be affraid of ten thousands of Sermons which set themselves against them They will lye down and sleep and awake while vain thoughts sustain them Sermons Conferences c. would meet every of thy sins and rent the caul of their hearts They would make their strong holds like (e) Nah 3.12 fig-trees with the first ripe figs if they were but shaken they would fall Were it not that (f) Psal 125.2 as the mountains stand round about Jerusalem so vain thoughts stand so about my corruptions that the means of Grace can't have full reach of them Would my God but cast down my (g) 2 Co 10.5 Rev. 18 2. Psal 10.4 imaginations and bring my thoughts into captivity and the obedience of Jesus then should my heart be no longer the habitation of Devils and the hold of every foul spirit and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird But hear oh my soul if God be in all thy thoughts vanity and sin will be in all thy best words and deeds For the love of Christ go cry to thy God and say (h) Pro 6.2 Thou art snar'd with the thoughts of thy heart Beg him for Christ's sake that their root may be dryed up and they may bear no more fruit yea though they should bring forth Hos 9.16 that he would stay even the beloved fruit of their womb and dash their little ones against the stones Now consider this oh ye the poor beginnings of grace and comfort within me least vain thoughts (i) Psal 50.22 tear you in pieces and there be none to deliver you 20. A Soliloquy of idle words (a) Gen 15.5 LOok now toward Heaven oh my soul and tell the stars if thou be able to number them Lift up thine eyes (b) Gen 13.14 16. look abroad from the place where thou art Northward and Southward Eastward and Westward if thou canst tell the stars and count the dust of the earth then may thy (c) Job 6.25 Mar. 7.18 words also be numbred words of which there 's not one but is very forcible whether right or no for though but too oft thou makest the words of God of none effect in one sense God will never make thine of none effect in another but will by them (d) Mat 12.37 or justifie or condemn thee (e) Jam 3.10 Out of every of thy so many words a blessing or curse is sure to proceed and wo be to thee if God make thee an offender for a word unrepented of For as every unsanctified tongue so every vain word thereof is it self a world of iniquity yea behold 't is (f) Psal 51.5 shapen in iniquity and in sin doth the heart conceive it 'T is by nature a (g) Eph 2.3 child of wrath even as other works of disobedience 't is of its (h) Joh 8.44 Joh. 8.48 Luke 10.17 father the Devil and the works of its father it will do damn it self and its corrupted hearers Say I not well to every of thy idle words then Thou art a Samaritan and hast a devil Devils without all peradventure they are and oh would God thou couldst now go say Lord these devils are subject to me in thy Name If (i) 1 Joh 3.8 such as commit sin be of the devil I am certain they are his genuine seed and issue for why (k) Ro. 3.23 sin dwelleth in them and they are carnal sold under sin they lay on thee weights and make actual sins easily beset thee Yea farther oh my soul thy idle words have not only sinned all of them and come short of the (l) Ro. 7.13 14. glory of God but they have made many to be sinful through them who else had not known the sins imparted to them In a word idle words the plague of their plagues is they become (m) 1 Jo 2.2 propitiations for sin and not for ones own onely but the whole companies God's word is indeed the (n) Psal 119.105 Read Isa â— 8 Phil. 2.16 light to our feet and the due lanthorn to our paths But the very truth is there 's a kind of ignis fatuus a false light sparkling out of ones own words which generally does lead our feet and chalk out our paths Nor have evil communications a little influence on like manners every word of ours is ordinarily a word of life in a sense God rarely holding our hearts when once (o) Psal 12.4 Psal 2. our lips are our own and our hands ever breaking his bonds asunder and casting his cords behind us assoon as his
caused thee (b) Deu 34.14 to see it with thine eyes but thou shalt not go over thither But nor yet do I hear thee say so plainly as I would Fear not it is my good pleasure to give thee (c) Luk 12.33 the Kingdom Many seek to enter in and are not able Thousands not onely say and read but cry Lord Lord Open and yet are shut out Some get so far that they be not far from (d) Mat 7.22 thy Kingdom and yet never reach it Nay the children of the Kingdom themselves Christ tells me (e) Mat 8.12 are cast into outer darkness the most part of them and if so Lord what cause have I to say to my soul as (f) Rut 3.1 Naomi to Ruth Shall I not seek rest for thee that it may be well with thee Of that soul oh my God so forgetful am I that oft it checks me as (g) Jud 16.13 15. Dalilah her Sampson Hitherto hast thou mocked me and told me lyes How canst thou say I love thee and thy heart is not with me When it reflects on the madnesses of my heart and life it fears thou wilt one day say of me as Achish (h) 1 Sa. 29.15 of David Have I need of mad men Shall this fellow come into my house (i) Heb. 4.1 It doth not infrequently alarum me in the being left us of entring into God's rest we should come short of it For (k) 1 Pe 4.12 if the righteous scarcely be saved Where shall we appear Solomon sayes Blessed is the man that fears alwayes Oh my God Let me not serve thee therefore without fear of my self (l) Psal 118.6 David said He would not fear what man could do unto him but sure he meant of other men he fear'd his own heart when he cry'd Keep yea (m) Psa 119.13 Pro. 29 25. keep back thy servant from presumptuous fins Indeed the fear of other men bringeth a snare as Solomon sayes but the fearlesness of ones self brings a million The counsel is divine not to fear other men who (n) Mat 10.28 can kill our body and no more But 't is also as divine that a man should fear himself who is not onely able but prone by sin and by disobedience to destroy both soul and body in hell Oh my God Help me to attend Moses's advice (o) Deu 4.9 Joh. 13.13 to take heed to my self and keep my soul diligently I find That in every Prayer and Conference wherein I do not so do I must cry out to my Lord and Master as Josiah to his servants when shot by the Archers (p) 2 Ch 35.23 Have me away for I am sore wounded and that in my grace and peace too As Martha of Lazarus to Christ I oft say of my faith and hope to my care of my evidences for Heaven Oh divine eares hadst (q) Joh 11.21 thou been here my faith and hope had not dyed and indeed when that is absent whatever my labour is in Duties in the end I must say as Simon to Jesus Master (r) Luk 5.5 We have toiled all night and have taken nothing Wherefore oh my Blessed God and Bounteous Grant thou that when thy holy Spirit (s) Mat 5.41 compells me to go one mile with him in securing my title to glory I may go with him twain Oh let my conscience be ever telling me like to what Michol told David If thou save not (t) 1 Sa 19.11 thy life to night by ensuring thy evidences to morrow thou wilt be slain With sins sorrows and temptations If at any time I call the proud Mal. 3.15 happy as Malachi sayes and say in a but seeming prosperity of grace that I shall never be moved Oh my God let thy good Spirit take me off as the King (u) 2 Ki. 18.19 20. of Assyria did Hezekiah What confidence is this wherein thou trustest Thou sayest but they are but vain words I have counsel and I have strength O my God say to me of the host of my corruptions my pride follie c. as once thou didst to Gideon Arise (x) Jud 7.5 Get thee down to the host for I have delivered it into thy hand Help me oh Lord incorruptly to say to Jesus of his Redemption-work (y) Rut 2.12 as Boaz to Ruth The Lord recompense thy work and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel under whose wings thou hast caused me trust and to vow unto him as Ittai to David As the Lord liveth and as my Lord Jesus liveth as the living Father liveth and Jesus liveth by the Father surely in what place my Lord the King of Saints shall be (z) 2 Sa. 15.21 Whether in death or life even there will thy servant be Help me oh my God to set my Jesus (a) Can. 8.6 as a seal on my heart and arm with a love strong as death with jealousie of all rivals cruel as the grave Give me to write on this World and the glory of it (b) Dan 5.27 TEKEL Thou are weigh'd in the balances and are found wanting of any good for my soul (c) Col. 3.1 Job 23.2 Let my affections be on things above my comforts in heaven and my hopes on high Let me know oh my God where I may find thee in all distresses and let me come even to thy seat When my heart is overwhelm'd lead me to the Rock that is higher than I (d) Psa 61.2 Ps 119.139 Job 32.12 Order my steps in thy Word let not any iniquitie have Dominion over me in health or distrust in sickness in both let me esteem thy Word above my necessary food or physick And so oh my God of my evidences for heaven (e) Mat 10.20 it shall not be I my self that speak but thy Spirit in me Amen my God Amen and Amen Whiles this Piece lay at the Press it pleased GOD to visit the Authour with the Small Pox and gave him a Recovery full of Extraordinary Providences of which upon his Friends request he hath annexed his Meditations 24. A Soliloquy with God after Recovery from a Sore Disease OH my God I am sure I can say (a) Mat 25.36 I was sick and thou visitest me Oh that in the Day of Judgement thou maist say likewise to me I was sick and thou visitedst me I read of thy own people that once (b) Isa 42.25 they had a fire about them yet they knew it not nay and it burn'd them yet they laid it not to heart Sure I am I had my Disease about me and I knew it not nay and it brake out on me and never entred into my heart what it was till by thy providence 't was made known to me So unable was I to do thy work (c) Psal 103.3 to heal all my diseases my self that in St. Paul's sense and another too I might and still must say (d) 1
Co 4.4 I know nothing of my self (e) Psal 39.12 When with this rebuke thou didst correct me for my iniquities thou madest my beautie to consume away like a moth but in such measure did thy grace correct me that I may use the great Apostle's words (f) 1 Co 1.27 When I was weak then was I strong for all the while (g) Psal 73.26 my flesh fail'd my heart never fail'd and whiles my disease chang'd and my sores much destroy'd my skin (h) Isa 1.5 neither was my head sick nor my heart faint (i) Job 7.5.4 When my flesh was â—â—ath'd with scabs and botches my skin broken and become loathsome through thy grace oh my God I was not full of tosssings to and fro I had yet then it self (k) Pro 24.33 34. a little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to sleep till my ease came to me as one that travell'd and my victorie of my Disease as an armed man My bodie did oh may my soul so too (l) Jam. 1.21 quickly lay aside all the filthiness and superfluitie of its naughtiness and by thy blessing receive that temper which saved my soul from leaving it it suddenly laid aside every weight (m) Heb 12.1 and the Disease which did so easily beset it by thy commission all my distempers (n) 2 Sa. 18.7 dealt as gently with me as if thâ—â— oh my God hadst charg'd them of me as David charg'd Joab Abishai and Ittai of Absolon Deal gently with the young man and at thy word of command they departed from doing me evil oh may they now do me good For (o) Psal 119.67 before I was afflicted I went astray and so I am afraid to my heart I shall after it (p) Hos 5.15 If in my affliction I sought thee early what I shall do out of it I am very jealous for thousands call to thee (q) Psal 41.3 to make all their bed in their sickness who commune not with thee on bed or up in their health Thousands cry to Christ Jesus to (r) Mat. 2.17 take their infirmities and bear their sickness who yet sacrifice their strength and health to the Prince of Devils and live not to God But in thee oh my God do I trust for good I will not suspect that thou hast so cur'd my bodie as to have kill'd my soul this were to say to the whole Trinitie as Job to his Friends Job 13.14 Ye are all Physicians of no value There is oh my God (s) Jer. 8.22 aBa Im in Gilead and a Physician there for healthy as well as sick Israelites Oh let me have both for Lord I appeal to him himself who said That (t) Mat 9.12 the whole need not a Physician but the sick if I don't need thee now I am whole as much as when I was sick When I was sick did I say Alas alas Though my scabs be prettie well off and sores competently up agen I am thou knowest oh Lord nothing but spiritual wounds and bruises (u) Isa 1.9 Can. 2.5 and putrifying sores I am still sick of all things save of love to thee nor do I find that this rod of thy late correction hath driven so far from me as I could wish (x) Pro 22.15 Folly the seminary of all Diseases that not only is in but bound up in my my heart pit Blessed God I am not of them on whom thy rod is not but sith thy (y) Job 21.9 rod without thy reproof gives no wisedom that I know of oh lend me the latter or I lose the comfort of the former If thou dost not spare thy (z) Pro. 29.15 rod yet if thou denyest thy counsel I shall conclude my self a hated son or a reprobate (a) Heb â— 8. Pa. 48.10 bastard I read affliction is called a fornace Lord if it be so heat it as hot as (b) Dan 3.19 Nebuchadnezar's seven times hotter and in with me into it rather than let the (c) Jer. 6.29 bellows be burnt the lead consum'd of the fire the founder melt in vain and my wickedness not be pluck'd away Help me oh my God that I despise not or misimprove this or any of thy (d) Job 5.17 chastisements for that is a meer killing (e) Mat 23.37 of thy prophets and stoning them that are sent to me yea 't is a very saying Who is the Lord that I should fear him All the sicknesses and the sorrows that I improve not to (f) Mat 3 2 8. repentance and amendment of life methinks in my reflections they bring me down this thy dismal word of old pronounc'd (g) Gen 3.16 I will greatly multiply thy sorrow But verily oh my God when one of thy chastifements (h) Deu 32.30 chases a thousand of my corruptions and two puts ten thousand to flight There be three that bear record in heaven how unfeignedly I conclude That affliction with (i) Jo. 6.6 contentment is great gain I cannot say of all my Visitations (k) Job 17.12 as Christ of the Elect Those that thou gavest me I have saved and none is lost but yet sure I am some of my afflictions there be which when they have done all cannot say (l) Luk. 17.10 We are unprofitable servants for of one and another oh my God! thou knowest that (m) Mat 1.20 that which has been conceiv'd in them has been of the Holy Ghost My perils by sea that made me cry (n) Mat 8.25 27 1 Cor. 3.21 Lord save or I perish through thy grace made the wind and seas of my own tempestuous affections more obedient to my conscience ever since in my deliberacies But alas of any man alive I cannot glory in my self (o) Gen 47.9 Few and evil like Jacob's dayes have all my improves of thy corrections been and though in this sickness I hear a voice (p) Mat. 19.21 of Christ Come and follow me and in the many singular providentials of it I see a blessed plentie of thy goodnesses too I fear I shall not (q) Joh. 6.12 gather up the fragments so that nothing be lost But oh thou that hast sweetly (r) Phil 3.21 changed and art yet changing my vile bodie Let this sickness be unto the death of many a corruption and let my soul be (s) 2 Co 3.18 changed into the image of thy Son from glorie to glorie Let not my pride and securitie and forgetfulness of my God like Lazarus come out of their (t) Joh. 11.39 graves after they have been in for a few daies and have stunk in my nosthrils If thy Spirit help me not strongly to believe in thee though all my sins were dead Joh. 11.25 Joh. 10.10 yet they would live they would stand up from the dead and unbelief would give them life Unbelief which when it comes it comes that all sins may have life and that they may have it more abundantly How oft oh my God do I methinks hear this unbelief say of all sins as Christ of him whom he loved Our friends sleep but I go that I may awake them out of sleep Through faith (u) Heb 11.33 oh Lord give me to subdue Kingdoms yea the world of oppositions to my dutie in improving this my Recoverie I mean this thy (x) Eze. 37.6 laying sinews upon me bringing flesh upon me covering me again with skin and putting as it were a new life into me Forbid good God that the shew of my (y) Isa 3.9 countenance should cry against me and (z) Job 31.38 Pro. 17.8 Pro. 17.17 the furrows thereof complain of me for unthankfulness to thee Let this thy gift of my new life be to me as Solomon saies all gifts are a precious stone Whither soever it turns let it prosper to my faith hope and charitie He tells me a friend loves atall times I know no such friend but thy self nor any brother born for adversitie but the Saints elder Brother He saies the (a) Pro. 18.14 Spirit will bear infirmities But oh if he mean not by the upholding of thy Spirit my experience contradicts him Wherefore thou oh Triune God art my God and early will I seek thee because thy loving kindness is my life and (b) Psal 63.3 Psal 54 6. better than my life I will bless thee while I live and I will lift up my hands in thy Name I will sacrifice unto thee (c) Psal 4.12 Thy Vows are upon me oh God and I will render praises (d) Psal 119.11 Thy word will I hide in my heart that I may not sin against thee Every day will (e) Psal 145.2 I bless thee and I will praise thy Name for ever and ever (f) Psal 146.2 While I live will I praise the Lord I will sing praises to my God while I have any being and in this Quaery I will live and dye (g) Psal 116.12 What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits Oh my God the very word of the Devil I will verifie and all that I have will I give thee for my life Nay and I will use his Words also to thee of all that ever I shall have in this world or in the world to come (i) Mat. 4.9 All these things will I give thee Amen my God Amen Amen FINIS