I do think my Sins are so great that it is impossible for them to be pardoned J. Do not think or say so for all things are possible to him that believeth Mark 9.23 P. But my Sins are so red I think all the Water in the Sea cannot wash them away J. Though thy Sins be as Scarlet they shall be as white as Snow and though they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool if thou wilt turn to me from them for my Blood can cleanse thee from all Sin Esa 1.18 1 John 1.7 P. But Lord if I should turn to thee from them yet they are written down and thou wilt not blot them out Jer. 18.23 J. I am he that bloteth out thy transgressions yea have bloted out as a thick cloud thy transgressions and as a Cloud thy Sins return therefore unto me for I have redeemed thee Esa 43.25 44.22 P. But if I should return unto thee yet when I Sin again thou wilt remember my Sins J. No I will pardon thee and thy Sins and iniquities will I remember no more Heb. 10.17 P. Oh Lord I am the child of wicked parents and thou hast said thou wilt visit the Sins of the Father upon the Children to the third and fourth generation J. If a wicked Father begets a Son that seeth all his Fathers Sins which he hath done and considereth and doth not such like that Son shall not bare the iniquity of the Father Ezek. 18.14.20 Ezek. 16.3 to the 13. P. But Lord were there any wicked parents that had good Children J. Yes many as wicked a Ahaz had good Hezekiah So b Idolutrous Amon zealous Josiah and ungodly Saul had Godly Jonathan a 2 Kin. 16.20 with 2 Kin. 18.3 b 2 Kin. 21.21 22. with 2 King 22 2. P. Lord what if I be a Bastard and the Child of whoredom J. That doth not hinder thee neither to be saved for my servant c Jeptha was a Bastard so was my servant Phares who is reckoned in my own Genealogie Compare Gen. 38.18 29. Ruth 4.12 with Mat. 1.3 c Jud. 11.1 with Heb. 11.32 P. But Lord is there not such a Scripture that a Bastard shall not enter into thy Congregation until the tenth Generation J. Yes there is such a d Scripture and that should make People shun the Sin of Whoredome but that doth not exclude men that are born Bastards after the Flesh if they be Born again of the Spirit either out of my Church on Earth now in the days of the Gospel or yet out of Heaven Deut. 23.2 P. But what Lord if my Father was a Bastard J. Neither doth that hinder for Sarah the brother of Phares who was a Bastard begot my two wise and Godly Servants Ethan and Heman compare Gen. 38.30 1 Chron. 26. with Psal 88. and Psal 89. the titles of both being of Heman and Ethan P. Oh Lord I am a very old Sinner and have one foot already in the Grave and I fear it is too late for me now to be called J. No it is not too late for I call some at the ninth hour yea some at the e eleventh hour Which is but one hour before night or a little before death And I will pour out of my Spirit upon old men in these Gospel daies Mat. 20.6.9 Joel 2.28 with Act. 2.17 P. But Lord I have committed such great and hainous Sins both by speaking and doing that I am affraid it is in vain for me to seek Mercy J. Though thou hast spoken and done evil things as much as thou couldest yet return unto me and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon thee for I am merciful Jer. 3.5 P. How shall I look upon thee Gracious Lord for I have multiplied sins against thee J. As thou hast multiplied sin so will I (f) Or will abundantly pardon multiply pardons if thou wilt return unto me the Lord Esa 55.7 P. Oh but Lord I scarce think that any so wicked as my self were saved for I was an Idolater an Adulterer a Thief a Drunkard and what not that was wicked J. Such were many of my servants that are now in heaven but I according to my own kindness and pitty to them saved them by washing sanctifying and justifying them by my own (g) Or power Name Blood and Spirit 1 Cor. 9.6 9 10 11. Tit. 3.3 4 5 6 7. P. Oh but merciful Saviour I was a Ring-leader of others into sin and I enticed and drew many into wickedness and therfore my case is far worse then others J. As thou wast a Ring-leader and Enticer of others into sin so I can make thee a guide and leader of others into and in the way of righteousness as I made thy Country-man Levi and others P. But that which makes me fear most is because I was a Blasphemer Reviler and Persecuter of thy people yea many of thy Saints did I shut up in Prison J. Yet thou shalt have mercy because thou didst it ignorantly through unbeliefe 1 Tim. 1.13 P. Oh but Lord I finde my heart is hardened through the deceitfulness and custome of sin that I cannot hope it will ever be otherwise J. I can and will take the stony heart out of thy flesh and I will give thee a heart of flesh Eze. 36.26 P. Lord wilt thou do all for me J. I must do all for thee for without me thou canst do nothing Phil. 2.13 Joh. 15.5 P Lord what then shall I do J. Before I teach thee what thou must do I will first shew thee what I have done and suffered for thee P. Good Master I desire to know that J. 1. I left my own glory and came into the world to save thee and such sinners as thou art John 17.5 1 Tim. 1.15 2. Though I was the onely Son of my Father and in his own form and equal to him yet I took upon me the form of a servant for thee and thy brethrens sake Joh. 1.14 Phil. 2.6 7 8. 3. Though I was Heire of all things and Possessor of Heaven and Earth yet I became poor and hungary that thou mightest be made rich Heb. 1.2 Gen. 14.19 and 2 Cor. 8.9 4. Though I deserved honour and glory yet I was reviled threatned and perscuted by my own Creatures and all for my good will to thee Heb. 2.9 1 Pet. 2.23 5. Though I had no sin yet I was made sin that thou poor sinner mightest escape sin 1 Pet. 1.19 and 2.22 2 Cor. 1.21 6. Though I was a Law-giver and Law-maker yet I became under the curse of my own Law that I might redeem thee from that curse Esa 33.22 Gal. 3.13 7. When I had power over mine own life and no man could take it from me yet I laid it down for thee that thou mightest have life Joh. 10.18 Rom. 5.6.9 1 Joh. 3.16 8. Though I was my fathers delight and an object of his love from everlasting yet I became an object of his wrath for my love
Sin was in power in Paul when it could carry him captive and sold under sin and that he found a law in his members warring against the law of his mind and bringing him into captivity to the law of sin Rom. 14.23 Christian Oh but neither Paul nor any other Saint hath sinned presumptuously as I have done Ch. My servant David pray'd that he might be kept from presumptuous sins for he was subject thereunto Ps 19.13 It is probable that David sined presumptuously in kiling Vriah and so are the best of my Saints Christi But Lord I have rebelled against thee Ch. So did my servants of ‖ old but I have received ‖ gifts for the Rebellious and to me belongs mercies and forgiveness though thou hast rebelled against me Dan. 9 9 ‖ Is 1.2 and 63.20 ‖ Is 68.18 Christian Oh but my Rebellion is the worst Rebellion of all for I have rebelled against the light I have professed thee and yet I have belied thee and made an hypocritical profession I seemed like Judas to be thy friend whilst in my heart I did not love thee Ch. The house of Israel and the house of Judah dealt treacherously against me the Lord and belied me and Ephraim my dear Son compassed me about with lies yet was I gracious to them Jer. 5.11.12 Hos 11.12 with Jer. 23.6 and 31.20 Christian But Lord Ephraim was never so wicked as I am and guilty of such Lukewarmness Hypocrisie and Backsliding as I am guilty of Ch. Yea Ephraim was a cake not turned And Ephraim fed upon winds and provoked me to anger most bitterly yet my bowels did still worke toward Ephraim that I could not destroy him Hos 8.8 and 12.1.14 with 11.8 Christian But I increased in sin and the more mercies I received the more my heart was exalted Ch. Even so did Ephraim sin more and more according as he was filled so his heart was exalted Hos 13.2 6. Christian But Lord what didst thou do to Ephraim Ch. I drew them with the cords of man and with bands of love and I was as the dew unto them Heb. 11.4 and 14.5 Christian Oh but I have forsaken the Lord and backslided from thee Ch. So did Israel and Judah Jer. 2 13. and 3.6 and 4.16 Christian But Lord I find that my heart is bent to continual backsliding yea my bakslidings are encreased Ch. So were ‖ they yet I healed their backslidings so will I heal thine also Hos 14.4 Jer. 3.14.22 ‖ Hos 11.7 Jer. 5.6 Christian But I have fell into gross sins that hath dishonoured thee and caused thine enemies to blaspheme Ch. So did my servant David 2 Sam. 12.14 and others of my Saints Christian I but then he did mourn and repent greatly for his sins but I cannot do so for I find my heart as hard as an Adamant Ch. So my people Israels hearts formerly were as hard as a Rock Adamant and Flint Jer. 5.3 Ezek. 3.9 Christian Oh but I have been long yea ever troubled with this hardness of heart Ch. Though thou hast yet I will take the stony heart out of thy flesh and I will give thee a heart of flesh Ezek. 36.26 Christian But I cannot repent me of the hardness of my heart Ch. What though yet I am exalted to give repentance unto thee Act. 5.31 Christian Oh but I do not find that I am sensible enough of my sin for if I were I should mourn and be ashamed for all the wickedness which I have committed against thee Ch. When thou doest see me whom thou hast pierced and when thou seest that I am pacified towards thee then thou shalt mourn loath thy self and be ashamed for all thy sins and abominations which thou hast committed against me Rev. 1.7 Ezek. 6.9 and 16.63 Christian But Lord I am a very great sinner and I would fain see the nature and number of my sins that I might truly repent me of them and be humbled for them Ch. If thou see all thy sins with their nature number and aggravations thou couldst never look upon them but with despair as Cain and Judas And it is not so much the sight of sin as the sight of my Love Grace Goodness and Glory that will lead thee to repentance and humble thee for thy sins Luk. 7.42.47 Zach. 12.10 Rom. 2.4 Esa 6.5 Gen. 4.13 Mat. 27.3 4 5. Christian Oh Lord I know I am as wicked a sinner and as ungodly a wretch as ever lived but though I know this yet methinks I am not broken with the sence thereof I cannot weep nor shed tears for my sins Oh no! I go many times to prayer and to hear Sermons and there is no more working nor relenting upon my soul then if I were a dead stock or stone Ch. Oh my dear soul do not thou belie thy self for I have heard many a sorrowful sigh comming from thy heart and I have seen many a teare drop from thine Eyes and I will yet pour out more of the Spirit of mourning upon thee But what if thou didst noâ— find these things in thy self yet I have offered up strong cries and teares unto my Father for thee Ezek. 9.4 Psal 34.17 Zack 12.11 Heb. 5.7 Christian Oh Lord that I had but faith to believe that I for my selfe Ch. Have faith in me and be not faithless but believing Mat. 11.22 Joh. 20.27 Christian Lord I find sâ— much Atheism and unbelief in my heart that I have oftentimes questionings in my selfe concerning God and concerning the Scriptures and word of God Ch. These are the temptations and suggestions of Satan and my own Disciples were and are troubled with them Luk. 24.25 Christian Oh Lord I am troubled with a thousand temptations Ch. Yet fear not my loving and dear Child for thou hast divers temptations yet it is that which my best Saints have had and I will not suffer thee to be tempted above what thou art able but I will succour thee in thy temptations and I will make a way that thou shalt escape and be delivered out of temptations Jam. 1 2.1â— Cor. 10.13 Heb. 2.18 2 Pet. 2.9 Christian But I think nâ— Saint hath such temptations aâ—â— mine for sometimes I am tempted to kill my selfe and sometimes to kill others in so much that I cannot look upon any weapon waters or the like but I am ready to do my self away therewith Ch. Satan tempted me to cast my selfe off the Pinacle of the Temple and he also tempted many of my dear Children to destroy themselves but do not thou harken to the Accuser for he doth accuse thee to me and me to thee but rather say unto him Satan it is written my Lord Jesus hath over-come thee and I hope through his blood and through his might and spirit to overcome thee likewise say also my God hath commanded me not to kill another nor to do hurt or violence to my selfe therefore get thee behind me thou Lier Murtherer and Enemy for I will put my trust in
certain godly persons LEt us prav unto God so to furnish us with Faith and Patience that we may rather dye ten times then to deny him once it is very requisite that the Members of Christ comfort one another make prayers together confer one with another so shall you be stronger and Gods spirit shall not be absent from you but be in the midst of you to teach you to comfort you to make you wise in all godliness patient in tribulation and strong in persecution Ye see how the congregation of the wicked by helping one another make their wicked Religion and themselves strong against God his truth and his people If any smart Gods people shall be the first if any suffer shame they begin if any be subject to slander it is those that he loveth so that Christ sheweth no face nor favour nor love almost in this world outwardly to them but doth as it were lay clay upon the sore eyes of those that are sorrowful yet the patient man seeth as St. Paul saith life hid under these miseries and adversities and light and sight hid under this foul clay The will of our Father be done in all things if he will life life be it if he will death death be it It is a trouble to loose the treasures of this life but yet a very great pain if they be kept with offence to God cry call pray and in Christ daily require help succour mercy wisdome grace and defence that the wickedness of this world prevail not against us We began well God preserve us to the end This life is short and miserable happy are they that can spend it to the glory of God We may be tempted of the world the flesh and the Devil but yet although these things pinch yet they do not pierce and although they work sin in us yet in Christ no condemnation to them that are grafted in him Mr. Richard Rooth In a Letter to certain Martyrs condemned at Colchester OH dear hearts in Christ what a Crown of glory shall ye receive with Christ in the Kingdome of God Oh that it had been the good will of God that I had been ready to have gone with you for I lie in the Bishops little ease in the day and in the night I lie in the coal-house and we look every day when we shall be condemned for they say I shall be burned within ten days before Easter but I lie still at the pools brink and every one stepeth in before me but we abide patiently the Lords leisure in many bonds in fetters and stocks by which we have received great joy in the Lord. Oh my dear hearts now shall you be cloathed with long white garments upon mount Sion with the multitude of Saints and with Jesus Christ our Saviour who will never forsake us Oh blessed Virgins you have played the wise Virgins part because you have taken oyl into your lamps that you may enter with the Bridegroom when he cometh into everlasting joy But as for the foolish they shall be shut out because they made not themselves ready to suffer with Christ nor venture to take up his Cross O how precious shall your death be in the sight of the Lord dear and precious in his sight is he detah of all his Saints Farewell mine own dear Hearts and pray the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all Amen Pray pray pray By me Richard Rooth written with my own blood Mr. John Philpot In a Letter to Mr. R.H.R.G.M.H. and J.C. GLorious is the course of the Martyrs at this day Never had the Elect of God a better time for their glory then this is Now may they be assured under the Cross that they are Christs Disciples for ever Many go on well till they come to the Pikes and then they turn their backs and give over in the plain field to the shame of Christ and his Church that hath so faint hearted Souldiers in his camp at the time of need in that wherein his glory ought most manfully to be shewed Be content to have your Faith tryed every day by some Cross or other as it pleaseth God to put it upon you and if God put no grievous Cross upon you let your brethrens Cross be your Cross which is a certain token of true brotherly love Hitherto we have not resisted unto blood-shedding our blood must not be too dear for the Lord and then his Kingdome shall not be too dear for us We have taken our Press-mony a great while let us now learn to serve him faithfully and not to fly out of the Lords camp into the world as many do Mr. John Careless To several Martyrs condemned to die for the truth in New-Gate SO great honour is not permitted to the highest Angel in Heaven as to suffer for the name of Christ Full glad may you be that ever God gave you a life to lose for his sake A weak Faith hath ever a cold charity annexed unto it which is quenched with every unkind word Nothing can anger the malicious mind and cankered heart of Satan more then the mirth gladness and hearty rejoycing of Gods Children in their good Christ Only Christs true Disciples do mourn for his absence therefore they shall doubtless rejoyce in his presence which will be so much the more joyful by how much the more his absence is sorrowful According to your Faith and as you believe so shall it be unto you and as you think God to be unto you such a one you shall find him to be think therefore ever sweetly of the Lord and of his goodness Mr. John Careless In a Letter to Mr. John Bradford NOw with a merry heart and joyful tears I take my farewel of you mine own dear brother in the Lord begging him to send us shortly a joyful meeting in his kingdome that we may both sing praises together unto him with his holy Angels and blessed spirits for ever and ever Farewel thou blessed of the Lord farewel in Christ depart unto thy rest and pray for me for Gods sake Well I will hope in God and pray all night that God would send me some comfort to morrow and if the Lord give you leasure to morrow let me hear four words of comfort from you for Gods sake Oh that my life and a thousand such wretched lives more might go for yours Oh why doth God suffer me and such other poor worms to live that can do nothing but consume the Alms of the Church and yet take you away so worthy a work-man and Labourer in the Lords vineyard But wo be to our sins and great unthankfulness which is the cause of taking away of such instruments of the Lord as should set forth his glory and instruct his people if we had been thankful to God for the good Ministers of his word we had not been so soon deprived of them The Lord forgive our great ingratitude and his and give us true repentance and