Every wise man intends some good to himself in what he doth and therefore unless sorrow will do us some good it is a foolish thing to indulge unto it But can any man that hath had his fill of it tell us what satisfaction it hath given him May we not put all our gains in our eyes as the Proverb is after they have wept so immoderately Doth any man say he is glad that he mourned so much Then he had best mourn again if there be so much gladness and profit in it Had we not better say with David concerning his child when it was dead I shall go to him but he shall not return to me I may bring my self in sorrow to my grave but I cannot bring him up from the dead I cannot water him with my tears as we do a dry plant that he may spring up again but I may easily drown my self and learn others by my example not to weep for me What I would not have them do for me why should I do it for another Why should I make my self miserable and make no body else the better The truth is if there were only no good in it it were the less matter but it doth us likewise not a little harm Though it will end of it self yet it may breed us no small trouble before it end This is all the comfort that such a man hath and it is a very poor one that if his grief do not kill him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Phot. Epist 234. it will kill it self But many an one hath grief destroyed many a body hath it distempered and given most mortal wounds also to the soul it self Many affections move the soul most vehemently but none more then grief which hath been the cause of madness in some as Plutarch hath observed and in others hath bred incurable diseases and made others to destroy themselves And this it may do either naturally for nothing eats the heart so much as grief nothing casts such a damp on the vital spirits as immoderate sorrows or else providentially by Gods anger who is displeased to see us so angry and repining and often inflicts worse things upon us then those which we causlesly make the matter of so doleful complaints Let us therefore cease that which brings such troubles before it cease it self and when it is ceased gives us a new sorrow to think that we should be so unreasonably sorrowfull We must write upon this as well as upon inordinate joyes Vanity of vanities all is vanity and vexation of Spirit And therefore let us not be troubled now lest we be troubled more afterward to consider how foolishly we were troubled The Fable of Niobe which tells how she turned her self with sorrow into a stone doth but signifie the stupidity and dulness that waits upon grief and the excessive melancholy into which it sometimes casts us which renders us as insensible as a stone Take heed how you grow in love with sadness for it hath no profit wherewithall to recompence your affection to it but pays your folly only with it self and such diseases as ordinarily use to accompany it And we should be the less in love with it because there are so many occasions of it in our lives We need not weep so much for the loss of one thing for we must expect continual losses The world is not such a place that we should take care to spend all our tears on one thing we shall have occasion enough for them if we have any mind to weeping Let us bestow therefore the less upon one because there are so many to sollicite our sorrows And if our souls be tender and apt to receive the impressions of dolefull things we have the more need to comfort our selves for every grief will but make us still more apt to grieve And besides what a folly is it thus to die with continual grief for him who if he did grieve to die his grief continued but a little while He died but once why should we die alwayes with grief He dyed that he might live why should we live only for to die It is certain we must die but of all deaths let us not die with grief and much less for grief about that which we see we cannot avoid our selves But let us be furthest of all from making our life a perpetual death and grieving for that which by grief we may so soon run our selves into IX Ask thy self again Weep no more for thy friend then thou wouldst have had him weep for thee Whether two friends do not think that one of them must die first Do we not see that in the common course of things one man goes before another to his grave Who then if it had been permitted to thy choice wouldst thou have appointed to be the leader unto the other Wouldst thou have given thy self the preheminence and resolved to have shewn him the way Then Death it seems is a good thing for if it were evil we can scarce believe thy self-love is so little as to wish it might be thy portion before another And if it be good then thou mayest soon satisfie the pretence of loving them better then thy self by being glad that they enjoy it before thy self Or wouldst thou have had both gone together and been enclosed in the same Coffin and interred in the same grave Then it seems it is no such great mattter to die as thou makest it seeing thou art so willing to die also And if it be no great matter for thee to live then no more was it unto him If the sorrow of living without him be greater then the sorrow of dying with him why then was not he desirous that thou shouldst die and why did he pray for thy life and health when he dyed And if he would not have thee to die also when he dyed why dost thou then live in a kind of death and enjoyest not thy self nor the pleasures of life Either resolve to die also or else to live as a man should do X. If his death be so sad thou wilt not be able to bear thy own Ask thy self How can I take my own death Certain it is that thou must die also but if thou canst not part with a friend how canst thou part with thy self How wilt thou endure that soul and body should be separated if thou canst not shake hands with another body distinct from thy self Are not they the most antient friends is not their union most strict and close Can two men cleave so together as thy soul embraces its companion What then wilt thou do then when their bonds shall be untied if thou canst not bear the rupture of lesser cords of love What wilt thou think when thy soul sits on thy lips and gives thy body a farewell kiss if thou canst not close the eyes of thy friend without so many tears Will thy soul mourn after thy body is dead as
is well to consider their inconstancy and that our happiness is in something better It was a good rule which Pythagoras gave to all his Scholars and is the same that I would have you learn 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Do not walk in the high way i. e. Do not follow the common opinions be not led by vulgar and popular apprehensions Rectifie the ordinary conceits which you have carelesly entertained of things and judge of them as they are in themselves and not as they are reputed of If we would do thus then that which is the cause of our sorrow would be the cause of our tranquillity because nothing hath left us but that which we knew would not stay with us We mourn now because things are so inconstant but then we should not mourn because we knew them to be inconstant If we could make it good that any of these things are ours then I might avouch it that they would never have left us But if they were not ours why are we offended that God doth what he will with his own And besides shall we who are so inconstant oblige all things besides our selves to constancy shall we whose desires are so restless and uncertain expect that all things but only we should be stable and quiet No let us look into our selves and we shall find so much difficulty to settle them that we shall not wonder that other things are unsetled And again if things be so mutable why should we not think as I have already said that they will one day change to what we would have them But suppose they should what are we the better If our opinion be not turned too we shall be as much afraid to lose them again seeing they are so unconstant as now we are desirous to have them by the benefit of their inconstancy We must therefore alter our esteem of things now else we shall only change our trouble but not be rid of it when things are changed Adeo nihil est miserum nisi cum putes c. So certain it is that nothing is miserable but when we think it is so and that nothing will make us happy unless we think that we are happy And we had better think so now then stay to be taught this lesson by the dear experience of a great many troubles Let thine estate be never so prosperous yet if thine heart be unmortified thou wilt never be the nearer but rather the further off from settlement For they that have the greatest abundance are the soonest disturbed by every trifle because they are not used to have any thing go contrary to their humour But if thou wilt take any comfort from the unconstancy of things let it be this That if thou thinkest thy self therefore unfortunate because those things are gone that were joyful then thou mayst think thy self happy enough seeing the things that are unpleasant are going away also And think I beseech you once more and be of this opinion That there is nothing better in this world to thee then thy self As long therefore as thou hast thy self why shouldst thou be troubled especially if thou thy self thinkest never the worse of thy self because thou art poor and destitute of friends For these take away nothing of thy self nor can any thing in the world deprive thee of thy self And as Boethius well saith This is the condition of humane nature that it then only excels all things here when it knows it self But when it doth not it is below the very Beasts For it is natural for them to be ignorant but for a man it is the basest vice especially when he is ignorant of himself There was a Fable among the heathens which wise men understood to contain in it great Philosophy In the midst of this sad discourse it will please you perhaps if I relate it and it will please you a great deal more for to learn and live by it After Jupiter had made the world he thought that men would not be restrained from sin without rewards and punishments and so he made two great barrels the one full of good things the other full of bad to be sent down among men as there was occasion Pandora being very desirous to know what was in these barrels did one day broach them and all the good things flew out towards heaven and all the bad towards hell Hope only and Fear remained in the bottom of these Casks the former in that of Evil things and the latter in that of Good When this was done Jupiter threw down these empty Tubs to the earth and all mortals ran at the rareness of the sight to see what they could find in them Some looked into the one and some into the other and though both of them were empty yet they thought verily that the one was full of good and the other full of evil And ever since it came to pass that here below we have nothing but a fancy or conceit of Good mixed with fear and jealousie and a meer conceit of evil with some hope in the compound of it The Moral of it is this I hat the things of this world are but seeming Goods and seeming evils They are our own opinions that trouble us with the shadow of evil and that flatter us on the other side with a fair shew of Good All real Good is in heaven and all real misery is in hell If we go to heaven we are wâ—ll enough whatsoever we loose if we fall into sin and so into hell we cannot be well though we should enjoy all the world Let us turn our minds then toward these heavenly things which they did but dream of in the dark ages of the world Let us heartily believe the Gospel which hath brought to light eternal life And then we shall think our selves happy enough if we lose not those things and perhaps the death of our friends and such like crossâ—s befall us that we may not lose them When the dayes of mourning do come II. Our tears should be kept for that which is the cause of death and all our tears Turn thy sorrow for thy friend into sorrow for thy sins Remember that thy tears may be due to some other thing and the cure of that will cure all thy other griefs If thou art not a Christian then it is thy duty to mourn neither for one thing nor other but only to bewail thy self Let the dead bury their dead as our Saviour said do thou presently follow after thy Lord with tears Take no care of funerals think of no earthly thing but only how thou mayâ—st be a Christian And if thou art so thâ—n thou oughtest to rejoyce that thy sins are pardoned and that thou hast not the greatâ—st cause of griâ—f and this joy sure will swallow up all thy sorrows There is scarce any thing so considerable in our bodies that is seen as our tears for they are the most notable expressions of what is in
our hearts The hands as Ant. Guevara observes do work the seet do walk the tongue speaks but it is the heart only that weeps The eyes are but the spunges of the heart through which its affections are drained and dried up An afflicted heart hath neither hands to labour nor feet to walk nor can it find a tongue to speak but tears are all that it hath to tell you what it wants And therefore we ought to reserve these for some greater thing then our dead friends which our heart ought much to be affected withall As our Saviour said to the women of Jerusalem when he was going to the most cruel sufferings so might our friends say to us when they are a dying Weep not for us but weep for your selves if you be dead while you are alive Mourn more then you do if you have not yet mourned for your sins and amended them But if you have then rejoyce in the favour of God and bless him for his Son Jesus who is better to thee then ten Sons or all thy friends which thou lamentest Are our sins dead as well as our friends have we buried them in the grave of our Lord are we risen again to an heavenly life let us go then to God and pray to him and praise him and this will give us ease But if we be troubled for sin then sure we shall not add another sin by immoderate sorrow and forgetfulness of Gods goodness If it be sin we hate then mourning complaints and discontents must all be hated Would you indispose your self to pray to praise God and meditate in his sacred Word Would you render your self unfit to receive the Sacrament of his most blessed body and blood If not then mourn but so much as will not hinder any of these and you have leave to mourn as much as you please Stop but here and there is no man will lay any restraints upon you But then how short your mourning must be you will soon guess and the Sun must not go down upon your grief no more then it must upon your wrath But if you take no great care whether you disturb your souls or no then you have most reason to mourn for that carelesness and neglect Go then and bewail your unkindness to God your unthankfulness for his mercies and unbelief of his Gospel for you can never take your hearts in a better time then when they are so sad and inclined to be sorrowful Tell them that now they are very well disposed for a necessary business and bid them look if there be not something else to bewail that is more considerable Ask thy self hast thou not deserved this and ten times more Wilt thou add another sin when thou shouldst cease all sins Hast thou not been careless of seeking God Hast thou not foolishly wasted thy precious time and art thou not troubled at all for that Yea art thou now impatient as if God dealt hardly with thee and wilt thou spend more time badly when thou art taught by the death of thy friend how short it is It is most incongruous thus to bewail the death of a child or acquaintance when thou art like to die thy self both body and soul And when thou hast mourned for thy sins thou wilt be taught thereby how little thou oughtest to mourn for thy losses For even our tears for sin must not be immoderate and therefore much less must we dare to let them flow in abundance for our losses So you know the great Apostle commands the Corinthians to comfort him that had been guilty of a great sin and receive him again into the Church now that he repented lest perhaps such an one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow 2 Corinth 2.7 I wish all those who are ready to destroy themselves with grief would seriously confider this that we may not over-load our hearts with grief for our sins themselves which are the causes of all other sorrows We cannot please the Devil better then by discontent He would fain oppress every good man with some passion or other let us take heed how we joyn with him against our selves If we have left his service that is enough to provoke him If we have bid defiance to his pleasures this doth incense him and we must expect that he will endeavour to overcome us with griefs The Devil is mad against all good men and therefore let all those who have irritated him against them beware how they now prove cowards and execute his vengeance for him with their own hands Let us take heed as Photius excellently expresseth it lest we be good at stirring up and provoking the envy and rage of our adversary but naught at resisting and overcoming him by patience and perseverance to the end 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 But if we must needs weep for the loss of something here let it be for the afflictions of the people of God Let us mourn to see the Church sit like a widdow in her black garments Let it pitty us to see the blood of Gods servants shed like water upon the ground If our own sins do not trouble us let us weep to see the wickedness of the world and let our eyes run down with tears to think that men do not keep Gods Law Some such channel we should cut for our tears and not let them spend themselves on this fashion about our own personal troubles This is a method both to stop our tears and likewise to make them useful to us while they run It is a way to ease us of our present grief and of all others also We shall exchange that sorrow that would have troubled us for a great deal of joy and comfort Whereas our worldly grief would have left the heart sad this will leave it light and merry Believe throughly that the Lord Jesus lives III. The life of our Lord Jesus gives us the greatest comfort against death and so thou maist both expect a resurrection from the dead and likewise hope for comfort from him when thou art left sad and desolate The Body it self doth not die any more then corn doth which dies that it may live and spring up again with large gain and advantage Are we loth to throw the corn into the ground and do we not patiently expect till the harvest comes Why should we then bury our friends with so many tears seeing they are but laid in the womb of their mother again that by the power of God they may have a better birth The Heathen could say much to comfort themselves but they knew not this comfort for indeed they were rather contented then comforted Those that did think themselves most wise and judged that they had the best supports did only dream that the soul might take another body and shift its place at several times But we know that there will be a time when even our scattered ashes will fly into one anothers embraces again and a new life