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heart_n belly_n head_n loin_n 2,846 5 15.1256 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A20073 The Owles almanacke prognosticating many strange accidents which shall happen to this kingdome of Great Britaine this yeere, 1618 : calculated as well for the meridian mirth of London, as any other part of Great Britaine : found in an Iuy-bush written in old characters / and now published in English by the painefull labours of Mr. Iocundary Merry-braines. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.; L. L.; Merry-braines, Jocundary. 1618 (1618) STC 6515.5; ESTC S1881 45,434 66

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charity cold her selfe shee knowes not how to comfort them Since the German Fencer cudgelld most of our English Fencers now about 5 moneths past Since yellow bands and saffroned Chaperoones came vp is not aboue two yeeres past but since Citizens wiues fitted their husbands with yellow hose is not within the memory of man Since close Caroches were made running bawdy-houses yesterday Since swearing and forswearing cried What doe you lacke in London no longer agoe then this very morning The beginning and ending of the Yeere as also of the World THe yeere begins with me when I haue money in my purse which with a good suite on my backe a faire gelding vnder me and a gilt Rapier by my side makes it compleat The yeere begins with some Gallants when they cry zounds Drawers yee rogues and is neere expiration when they aske in a low voice What 's to pay The yeere ends with me when my siluer is melted and my elbowes are ragged In the interim of these two extreames it is indifferent current The world begins with a young man when he new sets vp for himselfe and ends with him when his wife sets vp for her selfe The world begins with an old man when euery day his baggs fill and that he can drinke halfe a pinte of sacke off at a draught and cry Hem after it and the world ends with him when he begins to dote on a young wench English Tides HIgh water aboue London bridge when the Prentises there dwelling plucke vp buckets full to the top of the house to ferue their kitchins and low water when people goe ouer the Thames dry shod High water at London bridge when the tide is come in low water when t is gone out High water at all Hauens when their mouthes swill in so much that they cast it out againe And high water with all Riuers when bridges they meeting the bridges are glad to stand vp to the middle to saue themselues High water in schoole boyes eyes after the fearefull sentence of Take him vp and in womens when either they cry for anger or are maudlin drunke It flowes with good fellowes when their cups are full and their braines swim and it ebbs at the posterne when the physicke workes and the body purgeth backward It s high water at Westminster Hall when porters are feed by Lawyers to ride a picke-packe on them in stead of Mules and so to turne them into Asses and wonderfull low water when the streame of quicke-siluer hath his current stopt vp Computation Diurnall and Astrologicall GOlden number is any number of golden Angels or other coyne of the same metall It is this yeere with me 2. for the Golden Number next yeere I hope it will be more Epact is a comprehension of the teeth of the Moone for looke into her mouth with the watching candle of Astronomicall skill and by the soundnes of her gum-pales you shall know how old her great belly is The Circle of the Sunne is bigger than any Towne bushell yea though you allow vnto it London water-measure A sieue cannot hold it for the beames peepe out at euery litle hole The Roman Indiction this yeere is that we eat no flesh on Fridaies and that none feed vpon Saturdayes vnlesse he haue victuals The Dominicall Letter L with a dash ouer it signifies either a Lord or a pound the one sometimes being more welcome to an Almanacke-maker than the other Shroue-tuesday falls on that day on which the Prentices pluck'd downe the cock-pit and on which they did alwaies vse to rifle Madam Leakes house at the vpper end of Shoreditch Ashwednesday on a Wednesday Good Friday the Friday before Easter And this yeere Holy Thursday which I neuer wonder at will fall vpon a Thursday Easter day my Grandame sayes she neuer knew but on a Sunday and I say as much for Whitsunday And now listen to a double-ribd Distichon of an old Author Christmas as I remember Is euer in December And May day the first of the row Saint Iohn after Steuen The day after euen Beleeue me I say it so A Moone-clocke or a rule to know the houre of the night by the Moone TAke a paire of iron Tonges pitch them stradling ouer a kennell then fasten a Waggon-wheele to the diameter of the Tonges which done marke what spoake doth cast the shadow of the Moone into the sinke directly betweene the bestriders from which count the spoakes till you come right opposite to the shadow then dimidiate or part in two equall parts that number diuide it by 3. multiply it by 7. from which extract the number of the Epact and the Remanet will be the iust houre of the night To shew a platforme were idle when the precept is so plaine The Anatomy of mans body 1. ARies the Ramme gouernes the head men whose wiues haue light heeles are called Ramme-headed Cuckolds 2. Taurus the Bull gouernes the neck and throat for stiffe-necked fellowes are Roaring Boyes and dead their tooles often in Turne-Bull street 3. Gemini the Twinnes gouernes the armes and shoulders so theeues goe to the Sessions two by two arme in arme shoulder to shoulder 4. Cancer the Crab gouernes the stomacke and reason for a Crab well buttered is excellent meat 5. Leo the Lion gouernes the heart hee that hath not the heart of a Lion hath the head of an Oxe 6. Uirgo the Virgin gouernes bowels and belly and makes both cry Oh if they meddle too much with her gouernment 7. Libra the Ballance gouernes the loynes for much double dealing is done in those quarters 8. Scorpio the Scorpion gouernes the secret parts for those sting pockily 9. Sagittarius the Archer gouernes the thighes for between them is the sweetest shooting 10. Capricornus the Goat gouernes the knees for a man lecherous as a Goat is brought vpon his knees 11. Aquarius the Water-bearer gouernes the legges he hath a staffe to helpe too and all little enough sometimes when he carries drinke and water both 12. Pisces the Fishes gouernes the feet for let a man come out of any Tauerne in Fish-street drunke it is so slippery with fish water that downe he comes and lies like a heape of stinking gubbins If these 12 be not able to gouerne mans vnruly body then let the 12 Companies of London haue him to their Halls and whip him But to proue that these are strong enough to hold him you may by the verses following perceiue that the Sunne of these 12. makes himselfe a girdle in the Zodiacke The Signes of the Zodiacke The Ramme the Bull Twinnes Crab the Lion hot Virgin Scales Scorpion he which Archer hight The Goat and bearer of the Water-pot A brace of fishes with heauenly light These summe the dozen of those starres in skie Which lend bright Cynthia such varietie The first Induction of the Zodiack THe Zodiacke which begd his name