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or_o melancholy_a that_o the_o blood_n be_v the_o worse_a for_o it_o other_o study_n science_n and_o high_a question_n of_o learning_n though_o they_o feed_v the_o soul_n also_o yet_o be_v they_o mix_v light_o with_o elation_n or_o emulation_n as_o it_o be_v write_v scientia_fw-la inflat_fw-la 8_o 1._o cor._n 8_o and_o therefore_o go_v not_o so_o clear_o to_o the_o good_a of_o our_o soul_n as_o our_o ghostly_a food_n do_v this_o bread_n our_o prophet_n speak_v of_o here_o have_v no_o such_o mixture_n in_o it_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v whole_o void_a of_o it_o like_o a_o crystal_n fountain_n of_o a_o most_o fluent_a stream_n virtue_n be_v not_o virtue_n if_o it_o endeavour_v not_o the_o same_o and_o the_o sacrament_n be_v the_o pure_a pipe_n from_o the_o side_n of_o our_o saviour_n and_o can_v make_v other_o then_o pure_a nourishment_n will_v you_o know_v what_o blood_n these_o make_v behold_v god_n saint_n from_o enoch_n to_o the_o apostle_n and_o so_o downward_o we_o may_v know_v 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and_o another_o desire_v it_o not_o they_o be_v equal_a 120._o epist_n 120._o it_o be_v all_o one_o to_o have_v say_v seneca_n and_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o have_v for_o equality_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v alike_o but_o not_o want_v alike_o if_o want_n be_v supply_v all_o be_v equal_a if_o not_o supply_v there_o be_v a_o fault_n that_o must_v be_v amend_v yea_o where_o know_a want_n be_v and_o no_o supply_n some_o man_n pinch_v will_v smart_v for_o it_o in_o the_o world_n to_o come_v and_o none_o have_v cause_n to_o fear_v it_o so_o much_o as_o they_o that_o have_v superfluum_fw-la no_o law_n to_o pull_v it_o from_o they_o but_o the_o law_n of_o
nothing_o of_o myself_o which_o either_o i_o see_v not_o before_o or_o will_v not_o see_v and_o although_o no_o sinner_n can_v at_o all_o time_n perfect_o assure_v himself_o of_o thy_o favour_n while_o he_o live_v yet_o some_o comfort_n or_o token_n as_o it_o be_v earnest-penny_n it_o please_v thou_o to_o bestow_v upon_o we_o whereby_o with_o humility_n we_o may_v believe_v and_o be_v persuade_v that_o we_o be_v in_o thy_o favour_n and_o assure_o hope_v that_o we_o be_v convert_v unto_o thou_o and_o that_o by_o nothing_o more_o than_o by_o the_o alteration_n of_o our_o will_n and_o desire_n which_o we_o feel_v and_o find_v by_o thy_o grace_n over_o that_o we_o do_v before_o our_o conversion_n and_o he_o that_o have_v not_o this_o feeling_n and_o have_v be_v a_o sinner_n can_v hardly_o think_v himself_o true_o convert_v no_o more_o than_o a_o sick_a body_n can_v recover_v but_o he_o must_v feel_v it_o and_o can_v tell_v when_o he_o begin_v to_o amend_v and_o by_o this_o feel_n and_o alteration_n that_o i_o find_v in_o i_o i_o hope_v i_o be_o convert_v unto_o thou_o and_o have_v joy_n and_o comfort_n in_o it_o not_o presume_v in_o my_o own_o merit_n but_o humble_v myself_o in_o thy_o greatness_n that_o have_v make_v i_o partaker_n of_o so_o great_a a_o benefit_n and_o to_o thy_o only_a glory_n and_o my_o poor_a comfort_n i_o often_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o now_o and_o how_o heretofore_o when_o i_o be_v all_o alike_o without_o alteration_n and_o feel_v myself_o neither_o better_o nor_o worse_o at_o any_o time_n and_o although_o self-love_n in_o i_o have_v make_v i_o be_v careless_a as_o yesterday_o and_o the_o day_n before_o so_o this_o day_n and_o the_o same_o this_o year_n that_o i_o be_v the_o year_n before_o and_o many_o year_n before_o that_o without_o find_v any_o difference_n at_o all_o in_o i_o but_o that_o if_o i_o be_v well_o now_o i_o be_v well_o then_o if_o well_o then_o also_o now_o and_o at_o this_o stay_n i_o keep_v many_o year_n together_o at_o a_o even_a water_n but_o indeed_o ebb_v and_o mark_v not_o that_o none_o can_v stand_v at_o a_o stay_n in_o thy_o service_n but_o qui_fw-la non_fw-la proficit_fw-la deficit_fw-la leo._n leo._n and_o that_o shall_v every_o one_o feel_v in_o themselves_o if_o they_o flatter_v not_o themselves_o all_o this_o while_n i_o say_v i_o can_v not_o think_v myself_o true_o convert_v unto_o thou_o because_o i_o can_v not_o remeber_v or_o make_v estimate_n when_o i_o begin_v to_o alter_v from_o my_o wont_a desire_n or_o sinful_a estate_n i_o begin_v not_o my_o conversion_n with_o hear_v of_o sermon_n only_o and_o little_a care_n to_o follow_v they_o or_o with_o read_v good_a book_n and_o like_v or_o commend_v they_o only_o which_o be_v but_o for_o a_o fashion_n i_o begin_v not_o with_o outward_a receive_v the_o sacrament_n which_o we_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v at_o a_o certain_a age_n and_o be_v worse_o and_o worse_o for_o it_o if_o we_o take_v not_o heed_n i_o begin_v not_o with_o inward_a security_n that_o all_o be_v well_o with_o i_o because_o i_o feel_v no_o resistance_n in_o i_o for_o this_o be_v indeed_o no_o true_a security_n but_o a_o blindness_n and_o punishment_n for_o sin_n breed_v by_o custom_n like_o those_o that_o live_v in_o a_o ill_a air_n and_o care_v not_o to_o go_v out_o of_o it_o because_o they_o be_v use_v to_o it_o all_o these_o be_v to_o i_o no_o argument_n of_o my_o conversion_n but_o contrariwise_o that_o i_o be_v all_o this_o while_n in_o the_o cloud_n and_o darkness_n of_o self-conceit_n and_o selfe-liking_a it_o be_v my_o very_a great_a fault_n and_o i_o confess_v unexcusable_a that_o be_v so_o well_o endue_v by_o thou_o as_o i_o be_v and_o so_o quick_a of_o sight_n otherwise_o i_o will_v be_v so_o gross_o mislead_v by_o my_o enemy_n where_o he_o list_v until_o it_o please_v thou_o of_o thy_o infinite_a goodness_n to_o pull_v in_o my_o scatter_a thought_n and_o make_v i_o see_v his_o deceit_n that_o blind_v i_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o be_v pennitent_a and_o sorrowful_a grace_n to_o be_v thankful_a care_v to_o be_v watchful_a and_o courage_n to_o fear_v no_o blow_n that_o i_o may_v receive_v from_o any_o adversity_n or_o prosperity_n in_o time_n to_o come_v hoc_fw-la signum_fw-la posuisti_fw-la in_o nubes_fw-la 9_o gen._n 9_o this_o be_v the_o first_o sign_n or_o mark_n which_o thou_o do_v put_v in_o the_o cloud_n of_o my_o soul_n ever_o since_o i_o have_v have_v a_o detestation_n of_o sin_n more_o or_o less_o and_o a_o desire_n to_o know_v my_o sin_n since_o that_o time_n also_o i_o have_v be_v afraid_a to_o trust_v my_o own_o judgement_n again_o in_o matter_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o think_v i_o hear_v thou_o say_v to_o i_o 32._o eccl._n 32._o fili_fw-la sine_fw-la consilio_fw-la nihil_fw-la facias_fw-la and_o peccator_fw-la homc_fw-la vitabit_fw-la correptionem_fw-la i_o know_v right_a well_o that_o custom_n in_o sin_n make_v we_o think_v we_o sin_v not_o when_o we_o sin_n and_o therefore_o i_o have_v doubt_v myself_o and_o ask_v such_o as_o have_v thy_o spirit_n and_o know_v more_o in_o these_o matter_n then_o myself_o after_o this_o it_o have_v please_v thou_o second_o to_o nourish_v my_o poor_a endeavour_n with_o gladness_n much_o like_a to_o they_o that_o be_v lighten_v of_o a_o heavy_a burden_n three_o when_o of_o frailty_n i_o have_v fall_v again_o at_o any_o time_n thy_o mercy_n towards_o i_o have_v not_o give_v i_o over_o but_o have_v touch_v i_o inward_o with_o some_o heaviness_n and_o anger_n against_o myself_o till_o by_o thy_o ordinary_a mean_n i_o have_v be_v restore_v again_o to_o good_a estate_n more_o than_o this_o thou_o have_v give_v i_o a_o four_o token_n which_o be_v to_o examine_v my_o thought_n word_n and_o deed_n many_o time_n in_o a_o we_o eke_o especial_o in_o those_o thing_n i_o use_v to_o offend_v in_o most_o that_o by_o often_o contrition_n and_o sorrow_n for_o they_o i_o may_v be_v the_o ready_a for_o thou_o and_o not_o altogether_o unprovided_a if_o thou_o 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answerable_a thou_o have_v often_o drop_v on_o my_o marble_n heart_n that_o it_o may_v be_v make_v hollow_a and_o capable_a of_o thy_o honey_n dew_n at_o the_o least_o wise_a in_o some_o small_a measure_n and_o quantity_n small_a and_o very_o small_a it_o be_v indeed_o by_o my_o own_o fault_n as_o thou_o do_v know_v and_o myself_o bewail_v yet_o somewhat_o it_o be_v whatsoever_o it_o be_v in_o respect_n whereof_o i_o be_o to_o rejoice_v in_o it_o be_v thy_o gift_n and_o therefore_o good_a although_o in_o less_o measure_n than_o thou_o have_v mean_v it_o i_o yet_o more_o a_o great_a deal_n without_o comparison_n than_o i_o can_v ever_o deserve_v i_o rejoice_v and_o praise_v thou_o because_o thou_o have_v do_v great_a thing_n upon_o i_o all_o creature_n praise_v thou_o in_o their_o creation_n for_o which_o they_o be_v homager_n to_o thou_o of_o duty_n and_o tributary_n of_o endless_a thanks_n man_n much_o more_o and_o i_o above_o all_o do_v praise_v thou_o or_o aught_o to_o praise_v thou_o and_o i_o much_o more_o than_o number_n do_v owe_v unto_o thou_o all_o that_o can_v be_v due_a by_o a_o subject_n to_o his_o prince_n by_o a_o child_n to_o his_o parent_n by_o a_o lose_a child_n or_o castaway_n to_o a_o pitiful_a father_n by_o a_o captive_a or_o galleyslave_n to_o a_o merciful_a redeemer_n by_o a_o rueful_a and_o unhappy_a firebrand_n of_o hell_n to_o a_o most_o sweet_a and_o bountiful_a saviour_n even_o whatsoever_o a_o creature_n can_v possible_o owe_v unto_o his_o creator_n all_o that_o i_o do_v owe_v unto_o thy_o majesty_n if_o i_o shall_v reckon_v the_o thing_n that_o have_v make_v i_o indebt_v to_o thy_o greatness_n it_o will_v ask_v a_o