before the Elders made his Confession as followeth UNto this day I do understand but little of the English Language the Word of God came not first unto my heart by the English Language I did not know what state I was in at my first birth and my sin by birth I knew not When I was young I knew not what I was as now I do know for now I know that I am a sinful man Since I prayed to God I know more of my self but afore I cared not for such things nor what they said If I heard any thing I took no heed to it if any asked me whether I knew God I did not regard it yea I hated the knowledg of God nor did I regard any word of God but other kinde of praying which we used I did love to pray to the Devil this I loved But afterward I began to think it may be they say true that speak of God it may be it is true that God is in heaven and should any teach me in my language I might know God but if I should pray it may be it is in vain to pray in my language could I speak English I might learn to pray And I see the English love us and therefore it is like that is true which they say of God and I desire to live for ever where they do When I first heard the Word it said God is good a little I believed it but I did more doubt Mr Iackson asked me if I did pray to God I asked him whether God understood our language if I prayed to him Hee said yea all things God doth know and all languages Then my heart said It may be I may attain to pray But my heart was hard and therefore I could not pray afterwards it may be I may Sometime I thought if we did not pray the English might kill us but if I prayed I thought I did not pray right When I saw and considered that all men in the world dyed I knew not how I might come to live for ever how my soul might live and therefore I desired I might pray to God aright because they that so pray are all one as if they dyed not but live for ever I wish't I could pray aright but could not tell how to do it I did in my heart love wandering about and our wilde courses alwaies and when I did pray it was but out-side praying for in my heart I understood not right praying to God I understood not how to pray and I regarded not my weariness of that which was good many things hindred my heart I was ashamed because my heart was full of evil Sometimes I thought of my sins but it was but a little and I was soon weary of any good I did not think God was not mercifull but I saw my heart was naught and very little did I know the evils of my heart No humility was in my heart and to this day my heart is evil and hard is my heart When you taught us the Word of God my heart did not believe but went contrary to the Word of God I saw my mourning for sin was not good I do confess my heart did not submit to God only I hoped I might might learn the Word of God which you taught us My heart did afore love praying to the Devil but I do not finde that I so love praying to God therefore I did pray Lord break my heart that I may pray to God aright My heart was weary of praying quickly and therefore my heart said Surely my heart is nought and I am like a dead man and therefore I prayed Lord help me now to pray aright to God Now I knew that God knoweth all the thoughts of my heart and my many sins and contrary doings and how little I know of God Surely I am a great sinner and this I do throughly know that great are my sins and that my heart is contrary to praying to God and my heart desired wilde courses and I see that my heart loveth not praying to God Yet now my heart began to desire to pray and to love those things which are according to right praying but I knew not what to do Then I asked what I should do then I heard this answer I should desire Christ to break my heart by his spirit none else in the world could do it no man could work faith in me but the Word which I heard doth it I could not my self repent of sin or be ashamed but this I know that the Word of God saith Those that believe in Christ shall not perish but have eternal life Then my heart said Oh Lord let it be so to me and let not my heart say contrary Again I heard If any be foolish let him ask wisedom of God who giveth freely Then my heart said I am foolish Oh Lord teach me Then I feared that my heart in vain seeketh and then I desired humility and that I might not pray in vain and that I might not pray only outwardly But my heart had contrary and misbelieving thoughts dayly and my heart did not dayly desire after God and but a little could I remember of God Sometime my heart desired not to be like to such as prayed aright unto God therefore I desired the Image of God upon me and that I might be like to them wch prayed to God aright alwaies I thought that what God said in his Word was right I heard this word The Foxes have holes and the Birds have nests but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head Then my heart said Truth Lord the riches of this world are of no value and therefore I desire not this worlds goods but only heavenly blessings and grace I desire the way to the Heavenly Kingdom And always my heart saith touching my poverty and misery I give myself and my soul to God and to Christ because that is right Again I learn in the Catechize Q. What hath Christ done for us A. He dyed for us hee was buried he rose again for us and by his resurrection hee raiseth our souls unto grace and also at the last day And my heart said Oh let it be so in me Again it is said What else hath Christ done for us A. He ascended to heaven to raise our hearts first to heaven and then to carry us to heaven also to be with him for ever My heart saith Oh God I am not able to save my self I cannot save my own soul this is only thy work Oh God and my heart believeth it and with God is mercy and goodness but in this world is nothing but weariness and I know my weakness therefore I am ashamed and Oh let God put grace into my heart and my heart saith Oh let me not say in vain that I believe Oh Lord help that I may truly believe not by my works but by thy Word Oh God Again it is said in Catechism Why is
did not rightly pray though I came on the Sabbath day Then about the time that my Son who was at School was born the Minister taught on 1 Chron. 28. 9. Thou Solomon my son know the God of thy fathers c. if thou seek him hee will be found of thee if thou forsake him hee will cast thee off for ever Then I feared for I said This already I have done I have cast off God and therefore he will cast off me for every such one God will cast off I know not what to do It repented me for my sin I feared Gods wrath and damnation Then I prayed and call'd upon God yet only sometimes I repented and after I found my heart full of sin again But then I was angry at my self and knew not what to do alwayes I did fear God hath cast me off for all my many sins which I have done Hereby I was troubled and angry at my self Then I heard that word Who ever repent and believe shall be saved I l'e pardon them Then my heart cryed Oh Christ let it be so that my sins may be pardoned and that I may pray alwaies Then I begged Lord give me repentance and faith and I did pray to God much Then I did beg that I might give up my self wife and children to God as long as we live and then I prayed Then I heard that word Mat. 5. Hee that looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery in his heart I then remembred my sins that though I had promised to pray yet I had thus sinned and my heart was now troubled about this My heart said Cast off praying because you are filthy in lust your heart and eyes still commit adultery therefore run away from these that pray to God and go to Qunniticot or some other place and if you be in other places you may do what you will and my heart almost inclined to this sin But after that this merciful word of God I heard That Satan led Christ into the wilderness to tempt him and so I thought hee would do me Then I desired God to be merciful to me then I turned to God and cryed but knew not what to do for I feared God had cast me off and I shall perish for ever God has cast me off and I have deserved hell fire Then I heard that word Joh. 14. 6. None come to the Father but by me I did pray Oh Christ let it be so that by thee I may come to God and I pray Christ Jesus pardon all my sins this mercy I beg Then I repented my casting off praying to God then I promised I would not return again to sin and if Christ help me I and children shall serve God Then that Spring my mother and two children dyed and I was troubled and knew not what to do my heart said Lay by prayer but that I did not but I saw Christ came to give eternal life and therefore what Christ will do for me so let it be Therefore I believe only in Christ for eternal life and what Christ will do with my soul so let it be and my soul desireth that I may receive the Seals to make strong my heart Piumbuhhou ASsuredly I have nothing that I should confesse as I ought for my heart is full of foolishness and darkness stopt up is my heart and deaf are my ears I know not by what way I can get life I was born in sin into this world and therefore I am in folly and I know my heart is full of foolishness and ignorance I am a great sinner ever since I saw light in this world my foolishness appeareth in every thing I do in this life I know not what God hath given me but now I hear of the mercy of God who hath made the world and all things in it by this great work of his I know there is a God and because my heart checketh mee for sin and I fear the punishment of God And the Word of God now sheweth me that there is a God therefore my heart sayes I desire to pray to God and because God is angry with me for all my sins I know nothing by my self but that which is evil I heard that word Mat. 5. Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven Then my heart said So be it Oh Lord to me and I love thee as long as I live Then said my heart I am a poor man and desire to pray to God Again God said Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled Then when I heard that word my heart rejoyced and yet again I doubted and my heart misbelieved and feared Then that word came that Christ saith Be ye mercifull as your heavenly father is merciful And again Hee maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust When I heard it my heart rejoyced to hear of the mercy of God yet I doubted and my heart was hard again Now I confess before God because God is a great God and a mercifull God and I pray to him I heard of Gods great mercy to give us his only Son to dye for us therefore I loved God and I begged Oh God pardon all my sins and I give up my self to Jesus Christ Monotunkquanit BEfore I prayed to God I lived at Nipmuk I did not know that there was a God only I lived for nothing for no end or purpose but I alwaies did wilde actions I kept no Sabbath nor Lecture nor any work of Prayer nor did I remember my works I now know that all my words and works are naught my eyes and ears are stopped and mad works I dayly did After I went to Dorchester Indians the praying Indians and they that were my friends did say it was good to pray to God and said Tomorrow is our Lecture and the Minister cometh to teach us then my heart desired to see the Minister and hear what he said next day he came and taught the Indians I went and desired to see when I came my son Sam. came with mee the Minister call'd my son and set him afore and asked him Who made him and he was taught to answer God Then he commended my son and asked whose son he was they said Mine The Minister gave him two apples then the Minister said to me Do you pray to God you see your childe saith God made him and therefore it is your duty to pray to God Then I considered what he said I could not sleep that night I considered whether I should pray to God my heart did much doubt that night Shall I pray my heart said No yet I doubted Then Waban came to my house to Nipmuk and perswaded me to pray to God I said I know not how to pray Hee said God will teach you God is a great God and made all the world I
word Mat. 12. The unclean spirit being cast out of a man he walketh about seeking rest and findeth none then hee returneth and bringeth 7 other spirits with him worse then himself and the end of that man is worse then his beginning When I heard this my heart feared I thought now I repent of my many sins for verily I am a great sinner I have offended I am 7 times worse then before I prayed then I repented Again I heard that Word He that penitently believeth shall be saved and then my heart did desire to repent and believe then I thought that men will not forgive me and therefore it is not good to abide in this place but I remembred that I had learned to read the Word and if I should forsake my friends I should lose the Word of God Then I heard that Word Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand my heart said ô let it be so and then my heart rested but yet quickly it was unquiet again Then I did strongly desire to repent of my sinnes I heard that Word that God Sowed good seed but evill seed was sowen by the Enemy and such were in my heart and as in my field there were many roots and weeds which spoyled the corne and I plucked them up and cast them out my heart said verily just so is my heart the Word is but a little in my heart and there be many ill roots in me and therefore God may justly cast me out from among his people because of my many sinnes Then my heart said I desire to pray to God as long as I live and now I forsake my sins who have been a great sinner Now I beg of Christ O give me thy spirit that I may confess my sins before God and not only before men again I remember that I cannot pardon or help my self but only Christ must help me Again I heard that Word All manner of sin shall be forgiven to a man but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven in this world nor in the world to come Then my heart feared because many and great were my sins since I prayed to God and I cried to God for mercy and pardon and then I thought I will pray to God as long as I live But verily I am a sinner for I am guilty not only of Adams sin but of my own sins also and they are many I remember that in Catechisme I learn that God made a Covenant of works with Adam Do the Commands and thou shalt live and thy seed also but if thou sin thou shalt die and thy seed also therefore by that I know I am a sinner and have deserved to die Then I crie to God O God have mercy upon me and pardon me Again I heard of the mercy of God but I am forgetfull and cannot remember Gods mercies to me God made a Covenant with Abraham and said I will be thy God and the God of thy seed after thee then my heart said O let it be so to me O Lord And now Abraham is in heaven who believed and kept Gods Covenant So I if I believe and keep Gods Covenant God will have mercy on me I remembred the Covenant of Circumcision to him and all his family and such a Covenant I desire for me and mine Again I heard Mat. 3. In those daies Iohn baptized in Iordan saying Repent for the Kingdome of God is at hand When I heard this my heart said the same is now with us not Abrahams signe but baptisme and therefore I desire to repent and Confess before God and before the Church and I desire not only to confess but to have repentance and faith that I may have grace mercy and pardon and such repentance as workes obedience Again the same Word saith vers. 6. They were baptized confessing their sins So I desire to do I do confess before God and desire to cast off and forsake my sins and to go to Christ The promise of pardon is to them that penitently believe and rest on Christ In the same Baptism of Iohn he said I baptize you with water but he that cometh after me is mightier then I he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire Now this Baptism I desire and not to receive the signe in vain I desire to purge out evill thoughts and therefore I confess these sins before God that they may be purged and I desire the spirit of God may dwell in me for ever to turn me to Christ I cannot of my self do any of these things but only Christ Jesus can by his spirit in me Again I heard another word As the Eagles are about a carkass so believers come to Christ then my heart said So be it Oh Lord when I receive the Covenant of God I am like the Eagles when I come to Christ I desire not to come in vain but if I feed not I shall die my soul will die Then I greatly begged that I might feed my soul on Christ and Oh Christ send thy spirit into my heart that I may not only know but do the Word of God Again Christ near his death took bread and blest it and broke it and gave it to his disciples and said Take yee eat yee this is my Body which was broken for you And so also he did the Cup and said Drink yee of it this is the Cup of my blood in the New Testament which is shed for the remission of sins Now this believers in Christ must do not only to eat Bread and to take the Sign but soul food therefore Christ sending his spirit and helping me I desire to receive the Sign not in vain but to help my faith When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before wee did whose answer was to the like purpose as before Wutasakompauin He was next called forth who thus spake HElp me Oh Jesus Christ to confess before the Lord Oh I am full of sin because Adams sin made mine and so was a sinner in my mothers womb When I was a youth I found many sins and after I was grown up I did the same alwaies all the daies of my life I lived in sin After the English came I went to their houses they would teach me about God but I hated it and went out I did not love such teaching Afterward the Minister taught and at first Waban perswaded me to pray and taught us I did not at first like it yet afterward I did Four years the Minister came to Noonantam I came but I only came I lost all he taught After I considered one word the Minister said That God sent him to teach us then I thought surely there is a God therefore I must believe and pray a little I believed but when I heard I did only outwardly hear After my wife and children died and then I almost cast off praying I had another wife and she died also
I heard that Christ only is our redeemer and Saviour my heart did much joy in it and I desired to pray and heare the Word as long as I live Another Word of Christ I heard Whoever forsaketh father or mother or brother or lands for my sake c. My heart said ô Lord let it be so I have for Christ his sake left all and come to pray And I desire now to confess before the Church of Roxbury and do submit to your government and Gods Ordinances among you He was going on but shortness of time made me take him off When I had read this confession and the witnesses had spoke as before some of the Elders present did move that seeing there be two more to speak and the time streight and seeing Mr Peirson had in private taken in writing their confessions which they perceived by his testimony to be for substance the same which they expressed in publick What if the Assembly should heare Mr Peirson read those two remaining confessions according as he had taken them The motion was acceptable to the Assembly and he did read them which are as followeth Piumbuhhou First THis I say in the presence of God and in your presence Verily I knew not how or what to confess or God before I prayed I knew not who gave me life and being but I thought my life was of my self I confess I was born in sin my Parents were sinners and I thought I had life from none but my Parents therefore my sins were very great from the first time that I saw light untill this day I do nothing else but sin hard is my heart proud is my heart and hypocriticall I do hypocriticall acts to this day I act foolishly and deceitfully therefore so many are my sinnes that I am not able to express them only this I say that I am naught Then I heard that Waban prayed and they said to me pray to God but I hated it for I had a wife and many children and therefore I cared not for praying I thought if they were any of them sick the Pauwaus could make them well therefore I believed not Waban when he exhorted me to pray to God Then my wife and children died then my afflicted poore heart came in and the Minister came to me and said pray to God because God afflicteth and tryeth you my heart said when the Minister spake to me let it be as you say that God may shew me that mercy then my heart said I will pray to God from henceforth as long as I live Then I heard the Minister Preach of the great works of God in making Heaven and Earth and therefore fear the great punishments of God and because my heart so feared and condemned me therefore I did believe that God is who had punished me and took away my children Again I heard from Mat. 5. Christ saith Blessed are the poore in spirit for theirs is the Kingdome of God and blessed are the mercifull for they shall find mercy my heart said I am a poore man and therefore I will pray to God so long as I live and I desire to find mercy with God Again now my heart saith I am weak and doubting and full of misbelief Again I heard that Word of Christ which saith Come unto me all yee that are weary and heavy laden and yee shall find rest my heart said be it so O Lord and now I will pray to God as long as I live my heart said surely I am greatly laden with many and great sins and therefore I will go to Christ and pray unto him as long as I live Again Christ saith Take up my hurden and learne of me for I am humble and meeke then my heart said surely I am a great sinner and therefore I desire to learne of Christ and to follow him Again Christ faith Yee shall find rest to your soul and therefore my soul desired to pray as long as I live that I may find rest to my soul in Christ Again my heart did gladly hear the Word of Christ and the great redemption of Christ Again I learned in a Catechism that Christ sendeth his Spirit into my heart to break it to make it repent to convert me to cause me to believe my heart said therefore I desire to pray to God and to believe for pardon and adoption and peace with God Then hearing of the mercy of Christ my heart said I am like a dead man and therefore I desire to be with Christ as long as I live my heart did not know how to Convert and turn to God therefore my heart did gladly pray to God for it my heart did desire to pray because I heard Christ is our redeemer and doth deliver our soules I cannot deliver my selfe therefore I desire that Christ may be my deliverer therefore I betrust my soul with Christ as long as I live and because Christ is my mercifull God therefore let him do with my soul what he will When Mr Peirson had read this Confession he was desired to go on and read the last which was Wabans Confession and is as followeth Waban First I Confess that before I prayed it was hard to love another fashion then my old course my Parents were sinners and in my Mothers belly I was in sin after I was born the same way of sin I followed When I was a child I grew up in sin and I did not know that they were sins but now of late I know them in my youth also in the same sins I lived and did not know them to be so but by the remebrance of my waies I do remember my sins and hereby I am made to understand that my Parents taught me to love sin And after they were dead others taught me to sin I liked to be taught to commit sin those that taught me said to me Choose to be a Pauwau they said If you be a Pauwau you may make others to live and if you he a Pauwau God will blesse you and make you rich and a man like God Then I desired so to do also I alwaies desired other sins for my heart did desire to grow up in those sins alwaies lust I desired alwaies my heart labored and desired to know how to adde to and to multiply my sins Thus it came to pass that I knew abundance of sins before I knew my waies were sin When the English came hither they said when I came to the Englist houses that I loved the Devil then I was very angry and my words were You know the Devil I do not know the Devil and presently I would go out of the house Sometime they spake meekly to me and would say God is in heaven and he is a good God yet I regarded not these words but strongly I loved my sins it was hard for me to believe what the English said after many yeares I sometime believed a word but I left not my sin When I began
the Holy Bible should be printed in our dayes and at our cost in a Language and for a Nation which never had it to this day That this blessed and beautifull Vndertaking for the gathering in of those poor Souls who yet wander in that Howling wilderness to the Flock and fold of Christ the Great Shepherd of the Sheep may not want their compassionate and chearfull assistance who are already through grace gathered into his holy flocks and folds is the hearty desire and prayer of The 6th of the first Moneth 1659. Sirs Your affectionate friend to serve you in the Lord JOSEPH CARYL A brief Relation received from Mr John Elliott of the late Proceedings with the Indians in New England in order to their admission into Church-fellowship In the year of our Lord 1659. The fifth day of the fifth Moneth THis is the third time that the Praying Indians some of them have been called forth into publick to make open confession of the Name of Christ to come under the publick tryal of Gods people whether they be indeed Christians as fit matter for a Gospel Church Truth loveth and seeketh the light I was stirred up hereunto and quickened by Letters from England The Lord put it into the hearts of such as are honourable reverend and of eminent service to Christ in England to move mee before I moved When I moved this last time I perceived that it was the general inclination of the Spirit of the Saints both Magistrates Elders and others that at lest some of the principal of them should for a season be seasoned in Church-fellowship in communion with our English Churches before they should be Churches among themselves And when it was Objected What should the rest of the people do if the principal and most able should not keep their Sabbaths among them It was Answered That their usual Sabbath conversation should be at home among their own people only sometime to be among the English viz. for participation of the Seals the Sacraments of Baptism and the Lords Supper and for any special Exercise of Discipline When it was Questioned what English Church they should joyn unto All with one mouth said that Roxbury Church was called of God to be first in that service of Christ to receive the praying Indians In the accomplishment whereof I yielded my self up to follow counsel in the Lord The Elders offered themselves on some Lecture day to meet if need were at Roxbury Lecture then to speak with the Church to perswade to an unanimous accord in receiving the Indians for a season which accordingly they did and the Lord was so effectually present in that meeting that all Objections so far as I know were silenced Soon after our Church passed a Vote for the receiving of the Indians The Elders of Roxbury called eight of them to a private preparatory Confession in order to our publick proceeding Wee gave notice of the time and place of this meeting and many were present to hear them both men and women which Confessions I shall here set down for reasons which seem to mee to have much weight and they are as followeth An Abbreviate of the Confessions of some of the Indians which they made before the Elders of Roxbury sundry Christian people being present both men and women the 15th day of the second Moneth 1659. preparatory in order to their admission into the Church Nishoâ—kou OH God of Grace and Salvation help mee by thy spirit to confesse truth and grace in the presence of God 1 I confesse that I have now learned out of Gen. 5. 1. that God made man in the Image of God and Adam lived 130 years and begot a Son in his own Image ver. 3. which then was not the Image of God but by reason of the fall was the Image of Satan and that Image of Satan hee did communicate to us so that wee are all born in sin and so I lived After wee pray'd to God about three years my heart was not yet right but I desired to run wilde as also sundry others did Then I understood that the Lord did make heaven earth sea and all creatures and also man and therefore I understood that God made mee Yet I being young I was still vain and ran about and I liked to do acts of youth and vanity and lust as others did And I went to Pawwauing among others and these things I loved throughly and they grew in my heart and had nourishment there and especially lust if I cut my hair it was with respect to lust to please women if I had long hair it was with respect to lust and all I did was with respect to lust and women when there was meetings drinkings sports they respected lust and these things I perfectly loved When the Minister came to teach us hee taught and I came to meeting but I came to look upon women I understood not what hee taught sometimes I came and understood nothing at all only I look't on women About two years after I began to understand what the Minister preached I understood that Scripture Iam. 1. Hee that doubteth is like a wave of the sea driven of the windes and tossed and if any man lack wisedom let him ask it of God This I understood yet I only understood it but it was very hard to believe Afterward I heard out of Gen. 6. that God spoke concerning man I will destroy man whom I have made because God saw that the way of man was corrupt before him and this troubled mee And again in the same Chapter it is said That God saw that the iniquity of man was great upon the earth and that every imagination of the thought of his heart is only evil continually this troubled mee for I saw the roots of sin in my heart yet it was hard to believe Again in that 6. of Gen. God rebuked that sin in man which was my sin and then my heart was troubled Sometime my heart said it is better to run wilde as I did before then to pray to God for if now I sin or commit lust I shall be punished or put in prison but if I run wilde I have liberty to sin without danger but I was ashamed of such thoughts and repented but yet I doubted After half a year I heard the Minister preach this That Christ his death is of infinite value but our death is little worth God is satisfied with the death of Christ and promiseth to pardon our sins for Christ his sake if wee believe in Christ wee deserve to die but Christ standeth in our stead and dyeth for us and so saveth us from death Next time the Minister came hee asked what I remembred of this I now spoke of and I did remember it and do remember it to this day and I desire to pray to God as long as I live I believe Christ dyed for sinners but I doubted concerning my self Then I heard this promise If you repent and believe
Say not I will pray hereafter but now Today if yee will hear his voice harden not your hearts but pray to God and that made my heart to yield to do it Then I understood Gen. 2. that God formed man out of the dust of the earth and breathed into him a living soul by this I did believe that God made me And I heard that God caused Adam to sleep and took out a rib and made it a woman and by this I believed that surely this is the work of God Again I heard that wee are born in sin under the guilt of Adams sin and by that I believed that I was a sinner Again I heard Gen. 6. that all the thoughts and imaginations of the heart of man are only evil continually and that God did threaten to destroy man whom hee had made and all beasts and living creatures which hee had made and by this I saw that surely sin is a very great evil Again I heard that Noah found grace and hee onely was upright before God and that God drowned all the world except Noah and his sons and their wives eight persons this did make mee remember my sinnes and confesse them and I saw that God is angry with sin It rained forty dayes and so drowned all the world then I said Surely this is Gods work and hee doth as he threatned to do to sinners and the same may God do to me who am a sinner and my heart is full of sin and evil thoughts c. And then I prayed Oh God be not angry with mee but be mercifull to mee and shew mee what I should do Then I considered why did God bid Noah make an Ark and saved Noah and his Sons and their Wives and by it my heart saw that this is Gods work who does what hee speaketh and hath mercy on whom hee will And my heart thought does God pardon mee and love mee It may be God will have mercy on mee I heard that promise Mat. 3. Repent and believe for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand then my heart said Oh that God would help mee and pardon my sins And God made mee wonder at Gods mercy to mee I heard of Sodom and their great sin and destruction and that did make me to remember my great sins and the great work of God that hee had almost kill'd mee Oh I thought this is Gods work to shew mee my sinnes and as God saved Lot by the Angels and sent him out of the place but burnt Sodom and all the people this I saw to be Gods work now I desired to fear God and pray unto him all the dayes of my life Again I heard Mat. 3. The axe is laid to the root of the tree every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down and cast into the fire then I feared my own case because my fruits were sin and I deserved to be cut down then I desired to believe in Christ I did believe that Christ is the Son of God by that word Matth. 4. Satan tempted Christ If thou be the Son of God c. but Christ conquered Satan and therefore assuredly hee is the Son of God Then I considered that place Mat. 11. Many came to Christ the halt and blinde and lame and deaf and sick and hee healed all and if they did but touch Christ they were healed and therefore my heart believed assuredly hee is the Son of God and therefore now I will pray and Oh let Christ save mee And Christ hath promised Whatever yee ask in my name it shall be done therefore now I prayed Oh Christ Jesus pardon mee but my heart is weak and doubting and I cannot believe And I heard that word that every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire then I said I deserve that Again that word Not every one that sayeth Lord Lord but hee that heareth the Word and doeth it Assuredly it is so and I desire not only to hear the Word but to do it then my heart was ashamed of my sinnes and grieved I heard that word Matth. 6. Blessed art thou Simon bar-Ionah flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee but my heavenly Father then my heart said Yea Lord no man has taught mee Christ onely God hath taught my heart to know Christ Again I heard that word Mat. 1. Hee will save his people from their sins then my heart said Be it so to mee Oh Lord Again I heard that Christ rose again the third day with an Earth-quake and the Watchmen were afraid and fled then my heart said Surely this is Christ the Son of God and whosoever believeth in Christ his soul shall go to heaven For again I heard of the Ascension of Christ and more then five hundred saw him ascend and therefore I believe this is Christ the Son of God Again I heard that in John 14. No man cometh unto the Father but by mee my heart answered Yea assuredly Oh Lord Christ is the way to believe in and come to God Again I heard that Mat. 25. Christ saith to the wicked Depart yee cursed I said God might justly say so to mee and send mee to eternal death But I earnestly cryed to God Oh God set mee into the right way and give mee Christ that I may ever walk with Christ for I am poor and weak and Christ promiseth that what wee ask hee will grant and I say Let God do with mee what hee will but I beg mercy in Christ onely I desire to pray to God as long as I live Iohn Speen THis I confess that I assuredly am a great sinner before the Lord but now I beseech God to help mee Oh Christ lead mee in the right way that I may speak that which is right This I confesse that before wee prayed to God I was wholly a sinner and not only before but since praying to God I have been a great sinner and now I desire to make a short confession for we desired that they would be shorter the time requiring so At first when I prayed my prayer was vain and only I prayed with my mouth and on the Sabbath only I came to the House of Prayer I prayed morning and evening and when I eat but I considered not what I prayed for I was sometime angry and passionate about wordly matters and I was troubled when I saw my brother was chosen to be a Ruler who was younger then I because now I saw that I was a sinner and though I repented yet presently again I fell into sin therefore I thought surely God hath cast me off because I thus sin and still my heart was full of sin all my thoughts were full of sin all my talk and doings were sinfull But now of late about 2 yeares ago I heard this word Mat. 12. When the unclean spirit was cast out hee went up and down unquiet then hee returned and took 7 devils with him worse
answered Who knoweth that and who can witness that He said The Minister is sent of God and sheweth us Gods Word and hee by that teacheth us Then I promised Waban that when hee came again I would pray to God Then Toteswamp came and exhorted me to pray to God and told me of Christ and pardon of sin and then almost my heart prayed to God Then I said English men understand not me and does God understand me They said God made all◠and understands all then I said I will pray to God Then I heard first that God made heaven and earth and all things and in six dayes finished them and also made man in his own Image wise and holy like God Then I heard that Satan came and tempted Eve and cozened her and she tempted the man And God had said Eat not of the tree in the midst of the Garden if yee eat thereof yee shall dye yet she did eat and gave unto man and he did eat and thereby he sinned and all his posterity became sinful and deserved damnation Then my heart said What shall I do and I prayed for my children for now I hear of eternal damnation and sure I am a great sinner Again I heard the Minister preach That Christ was born like a man and was both God and man and dyed for us and sheweth us the way of eternal life Then I cryed Oh Lord give me Christ because Christ hath dyed for us and hath made his righteousness ours and our sins are Christs as Adam made his sin ours Now my heart was broken and I saw that I was a great sinner When I heard of the great works of Christ I said Oh what shall I do that I may get Christ I said in my heart Oh let the holy Spirit help me for I am ashamed of my sins melted is my heart and I desire pardon of all my sins now I desire to forsake all my sins and now I desire dayly to quench lusts and wash off filth and cast out all my sins by the blood of Jesus Christ and this I do by believing in Jesus Christ Gen. 6. there was only one Noah righteous and God saved him then my heart said Oh mercifull God who savest them that trust in thee save mee Again God made his Covenant with Abraham and with all the seed of Abraham now I desire to have this Covenant and to receive this Commandement of Christ Abraham was strong in faith and followed Christ and my heart doth desire to follow Christ because he hath dyed for us Wutásakómpauin OH Christ help mee I confess my sins before God and before men We are all born in sin because Adam sinned and made his sin ours Our Parents knew not God nor the way of life we Indians are all sinners and did all sins afore we heard of God we did pray to every thing that is in the world and knew not the way of life When English men came first we did pray to the Devil and many were our sins and God doth know all our sins all which we have committed before the English came After the English came I went to Sudbury to Mr Browns house and he said to me Pray to God but I did not like it nor to hear of praying to God but afterwards I heard Waban prayed to God and I was not glad of it yet after Waban prayed he told us of it and that the Minister came to Noonantam I heard him and he taught that the souls of good men die and go to heaven the souls of the wicked when they die they go to hell but I only heard it Then we resolved we would pray to God and carry our children to Roxbury that they might learn to pray but we feared that we should not learn to pray After the Minister taught that word that every man himself must pray and believe to be saved and though your sons be at Roxbury and learn to pray yet if you pray not you must be damned Again I heard many words of God this was one Therefore watch for ye know not the day or hour when the Lord will come When I heard that I knew not what to do nor do I know when is the day of death But I am full of sin and when I die Christ will not receive me because I am so full of sin After that my wise dyed and then weak was my heart almost I left praying to God but yet I did not so But after I heard that word of God Who ever heareth the word and doeth it is like a wise builder who built on a rock and when the storms and floods came and beat upon the house it stood because it was built upon a rock But hee that heareth the word and doth it not is like a foolish builder who built upon the sand and the storms and floods came and beat upon that house and it fell because it was built on the sand By this I saw that I was a foolish builder because the death of my wife did almost make me leave praying to God After I had another wife and shee dyed also Then I heard that word That it is Gods love by afflictions to call us to repentance and therefore my heart said Oh Lord I will pray Oh Lord help me Again I heard another word that at the end of the world all must appear before the Iudgment Seat of Christ and therefore now confess all your sins and repent because Christ hath writ down all your actions both good and bad and all shall be opened and therefore repent of your sins that they may be pardoned Then I said I am a great sinner and ever I commit sin I confesse I have deserved hell and I cannot deliver my self but I beg of God Oh Lord give me Christ and I give my soul to Christ that all my sins may be pardond and I now confess my sins before man but at the end of the world I must be judged by Jesus Christ Now I desire the spirit of God would help me to confess all my sins to God that they may be pardoned in Jesus Christ THese Confessions I wrote in English from their mouthes with the best of my endeavours both for diligence and also faithfulness and so soon as they had done I read them unto the Elders and Brethren and Sisters there present and that the substance hereof was delivered by them and faithfully translated and delivered by me to the lest of my understanding I do here before the Lord testifie JOHN ELIOT I Did understand most things that some of those Indians spake and though others spake not so well to my understanding yet many things I understood of what they all spake and thus much I may testifie that according to what I understood the substance of their Confessions is here truly set down JOHN ELIOT jun. Waban being sick when the rest made their Confession after the Lord had restored him came to Roxbury and
English Towns on the Sabbath day and I played for I did not regard that sin I thought it vain to keep one day yet I feared that the English should see me play least they should be angry but not because I offended God Afterwards I heard that my Brothers prayed and therefore I disliked them and I thought I will forsake my Brothers because they do a vain work and I did run away into the Country but they soon found me and asked me to pray and they pitied me and loved me and therefore I returned not because I loved God but because I loved my brothers My brother said Go dwell with the English and learn their manners I yeilded because I loved my brother I dwelt here at Roxbury and came to this meeting house but in vain I prayed not one word and my heart did misbelieve I heard the Minister preach that there is one God and he made the World and all things in it but my heart thought it was a vain word I thought my Father made me and not God Again I returned from this Town but yet I did not pray I heard the Commandements Thou shalt not murder Thou shalt not commit adultery Thou shalt not steal Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour Thou shalt not covet c. and other sins and punishments I heard of and I feared to sin because of man and because of punishment but not for fear of God therefore vain were all my wayes When I came back to Noonantam I did the same sins again especially I loved lust yea after my praying and being among them I loved it more then before When the Minister came and taught I went to the meeting but in vain I learned nothing but I still loved all our sins and lusts Afterward hearing the Catechism Who made you God Who redeemed you Jesus Christ c. my heart misbelieved and said I will not believe I will go away into the Country Again I heard that God made all the world and then a little I believed and thought I will pray to God but weak it was Again I heard Mat. 7. Ask and ye shall have seek and ye shall find knock and it shall be opened to you Then I prayed a little and then I thought there was a God who made the whole world I thought man could not make the world but only God and therefore I did pray unto him Afterward my Brothers were sick and others also I remembred that word Ask and ye shall have then I prayed to try if that word was true but they dyed then I thought that was a vain word and that God heareth not our prayers and that God is not therefore I thought I will cast off praying and run away I did not believe in God my heart said I shall die whether I pray or not pray all is one Then I heard that praying was the way to Everlasting Life but yet I regarded not praying I thought of running away and yet I thought whether I go or stay I shall die and therefore I was troubled but I did not pray Afterward I was at work and my head was broken in the Saw-pit and then I knew God was angry with me because I prayed not and then I did much know my sins I thought surely God is angry I remembred that I had heard that Word preached Watch for ye know not the hour that the Son of Man cometh this I remembred when my head was broken I heard that God made all the world and Adam and set Adam in Paradise and bid him eat of all the Trees saving of the Tree in the midst of the Garden if he eat thereof he should die but Adam did eat thereof and died then my heart believed surely God is and he made the world and man and me I heard Gen. 1. God said Let us make man in our own Image and let him have dominion over all the creatures Then my heart believed sure God is good to man and man is a sinner against God and therefore God is angry with me for my sins I heard that God formed man of the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of Life and then my heart said surely God made the world and man and me and all things and my heart believed And now I know God is angry with me now I will pray to God as long as I live and no more return to sin but I will do Gods Word all my daies Again I heard that God made Adam sleep and took out of him a rib made it a woman and brought her to man then I thought sure God made us and the world and these great works shew that there is a God Again I heard that God called her the Mother of all living and by that means we have life and then I believed that God made us and therefore I will pray to God as long as I live and no more cast it off Again I heard Gen. 6. that God saw the sin of man that it was great and that all the thoughts and imaginations of his heart are only evil continually and therefore God was angry and repented that he had made man and therefore drowned the world and every living creature he caused it to rain fourty dayes on the earth then my heart said sure there is a God and he will perform all his threatnings he is God and therefore he will do it Again I heard that God found Noah righteous and he found favour in his sight he believed in God and did obey his Word and God saved him Then my heart desired to believe that God is and to pray unto him Again I heard Gen. 19. that the Angels of God came to Lot in Sodom and delivered just Lot but did burn up with the wicked Sodomites with fire from heaven who had cast off praying to God and did commit great sins against God therefore I saw that I had deserved to be burnt because I had done their sins And when God sent his Angels and did deliver just Lot and then the rest were burnt then I saw in my heart sure God is merciful to them that love him and therefore my heart said I will no more return to sin but I will follow God but yet sometimes I doubted but I believed the mercy of God according to that I heard Mat. 1. she called his Name Jesus for he saveth his people from their sins Then my heart thought surely it is true that Christ is the Son of God and was made man and is merciful but yet I still did doubt whether Christ was the Son of God Again I heard Mat. 3. Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand And again The voice of one crying in the Wilderness prepare ye the way of the Lord and make his paths straight My heart said I desire to repent and to make ready my heart for God that I may have mercy and pardon in Christ Jesus Again the word
with them only I still feared man after I heard the same word again to perswade us to pray to God and I did so but not for Gods sake only it was before man I remembred the Sabbath and I heard Mr Mathews also preach of it and therefore I thought I would keep the Sabbath but still I feared man Upon a Sabbath they wished me to teach what I remembred that the Minister had taught I did so and we had talk about what I said and we fell out Thereupon I went away and left praying to God I went into the Countrey but I remembred my wife and children and quickly returned but not for Gods sake Again the Minister preached on 1 Chron. 28. 9. And thou Solomon my son know the God of thy Fathers and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind for the Lord searcheth all hearts and understandeth all the imagination of the thoughts if thou seek him he will be found of thee but if thou forsake him he will cast thee off for ever This greatly troubled me because I had left praying to God and I had deserved eternall wrath Then I desired to pray I begged mercy but I knew not what to do for my sins were many my heart was full of originall sin and my heart was often full of anger but then I was angry at my self for I found my heart quickly carried after sin Afterward through the free mercy of God I heard that word He that penitently believeth in Christ shall be pardoned and saved then my heart did beg earnestly for pardon and mercy I heard Ioh. 15. Whatever ye ask the Father in my name he will give it you therefore my heart did now greatly beg for mercy in Christ and pardon Afterward I heard Mat. 5. 28. Who ever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery in his heart Then my heart was troubled because many were my sins in my eies and heart and actions too My heart did love the having of two wives and other lusts of that kind Then Satan said to me You are a great sinner and God will not pardon you therefore cast off praying and run away it is a vain thing for you to pray Here you want land but in the Countrey there is land enough and riches abundance therefore pray no more My heart did almost like it but I heard that word Mat 4. Satan tempted Christ and shewed him the Kingdoms of the world and the glory thereof and promised to give them to him if he would worship him Then my heart said that even thus Satan tempteth me to cast off praying to God and therefore my heart desired to believe that word of Christ Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God and him only shalt thou serve Then I prayed again but still I was full of sin and very weak I was and I loved sin Again I heard Ioh. 14. I am the Way the Truth and the Life no man cometh unto the Father but by me Then I fully saw that Christ only is our Redeemer and Saviour and I desire to believe in Christ and my heart said that nothing that I can do can save me only Christ therefore I beg for Christ and a part in him Then said my heart I give my heart and my self to Christ and my wife and children let him do with us what he will Then my mother and two children died and my heart said What Christ will do so be it I have given them to him and I begged pardon and mercy if God will please to pardon me a poor sinner blessed be his name When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before we did whose answer was like as before it was John Speen Hee was next called forth and thus spake I Confess my sins this day before the Lord and not only before God but before all these people Before I prayed verily I was a great sinner yea in my mothers womb I was a sinner my sins are such as not only God knows but people also know them Before our praying I did thorowly sin and did commit all sins and now I confess these my sins before God After I prayed I did alos live in sin At first when I prayed I did not worship God nor believe in Christ but I did therefore pray because my brothers and friends and Waban and the rest did pray for their sakes I prayed And again I therefore prayed because many English knew me that I might please them and because I saw the English took much ground and I thought if I prayed the English would not take away my ground for these causes I prayed When I prayed it was but with my mouth yet I thought I do well enough in that I pray thus and I thought that for it God will pardon all my sins and I thought that my praying was good enough But yet again I sinned and did the like sins as before only I did outwardly pray but I mourned not for my sins I thought if we pray and leave Pauwauing who shall make us well when we are sick But again I thought man could not make us well because he must die himself and therefore Pauwauing is a vain thing and they die though they Pauwau But still my heart did not believe praying to God then I heard that word Repent and believe and if we repent and believe God will pardon all our sins Then sometimes I repented yet again quickly I committed sin and sometimes I thought I am throughly a sinner I heard that God made the world and all things in it and lastly man and that God formed him of the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of life and he became a living soul and that God made a Covenant with Adam that he should eat of all the Trees of the Garden save one in the midst of the Garden and if he eat of that Tree he should die Then I understood that Adam sinned fell and thereby I uneerstood that I became a sinner born in sin my heart full of sin and God will not pardon sinners and yet again I sinned and therefore I feared that God will not pardon me because more and more I sinned and thus I sinned after praying as well as before praying When they chose Rulers and chose my brother and not me my heart was in an evil frame and then I thought sure I am a great sinner and yet still I was more and more a sinner After my brothers loved me still and then I repented of my sins but not for Gods sake but for my brothers sake then I desired to pray as long as I live My brother died which troubled me the people said Be you in your brothers place then my heart thought I will no more do as I had done but sure I was weak my praying was but words I was a great sinner After this a while since I heard that