bless_a god_n it_o be_v no_o more_o in_o my_o power_n to_o know_v thou_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o own_o ability_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o manifest_v thyself_o and_o thy_o truth_n unto_o i_o than_o it_o be_v for_o i_o to_o see_v the_o sun_n without_o the_o sun_n therefore_o lord_n do_v thou_o take_v off_o the_o veil_n that_o be_v upon_o my_o heart_n and_o understanding_n and_o that_o which_o be_v upon_o thy_o truth_n i_o read_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o my_o bless_a saviour_n do_v rejoice_v in_o spirit_n and_o give_v thou_o thanks_o because_o thou_o do_v hide_v thy_o truth_n from_o those_o that_o be_v wise_a and_o prudent_a and_o reveal_v they_o unto_o baby_n o_o that_o i_o be_v of_o the_o number_n of_o those_o babe_n to_o who_o thou_o will_v reveal_v thy_o truth_n lord_n give_v i_o a_o powerful_a experimental_a knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n that_o be_v include_v in_o these_o word_n 5._o and_o holy_a and_o bless_a father_n if_o thou_o will_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o know_v thy_o mind_n in_o thy_o word_n though_o thy_o command_n shall_v be_v never_o so_o cross_a to_o my_o corruption_n my_o base_a corruption_n which_o have_v hinder_v i_o from_o a_o world_n of_o joy_n grace_n and_o communion_n with_o thou_o which_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o they_o i_o may_v have_v have_v long_o ago_o i_o will_v do_v they_o by_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o might_n lord_n forbid_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v so_o wicked_a as_o to_o inquire_v of_o thou_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o do_v or_o shall_v do_v as_o often_o as_o i_o read_v the_o scripture_n as_o we_o read_v the_o jew_n do_v desire_v the_o prophet_n jeremiah_n to_o inquire_v of_o thou_o for_o they_o though_o they_o be_v resolve_v beforehand_o what_o to_o do_v yet_o they_o say_v they_o will_v do_v whatever_o thou_o shall_v command_v whether_o it_o be_v good_a or_o evil_n o_o that_o i_o have_v at_o least_o a_o heart_n to_o resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o if_o i_o must_v want_v let_v i_o want_v riches_n health_n liberty_n rather_o than_o grace_v rather_o let_v i_o want_v strength_n then_o want_v a_o will_v to_o serve_v thou_o i_o have_v as_o good_a sin_n unwilling_o as_o to_o do_v what_o thou_o command_v unwilling_o lord_n give_v i_o truth_n in_o the_o inward_a part_n 6._o those_o thing_n that_o lie_v plain_a in_o these_o word_n be_v that_o those_o that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n that_o tremble_v at_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v high_o esteem_v of_o he_o so_o that_o poverty_n of_o spirit_n and_o contrition_n of_o spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o the_o word_n of_o god_n be_v the_o three_o thing_n that_o be_v here_o so_o high_o commend_v and_o prize_v by_o god_n 7._o but_o now_o let_v we_o serious_o consider_v whether_o we_o be_v thus_o qualify_v be_o i_o poor_a in_o spirit_n those_o that_o be_v so_o have_v low_a thought_n of_o themselves_o and_o be_v not_o trouble_v that_o other_o have_v low_a thought_n of_o they_o too_o they_o like_v reproof_n better_o than_o praise_n they_o do_v not_o murmur_v under_o affliction_n but_o rather_o wonder_v they_o be_v no_o more_o afflict_v be_v it_o thus_o with_o we_o 8._o lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n of_o poverty_n of_o spirit_n in_o i_o if_o i_o take_v reproof_n well_o or_o affliction_n in_o any_o measure_n patient_o certain_a it_o be_v it_o be_v not_o at_o all_o from_o myself_o i_o be_v bear_v with_o as_o proud_a a_o heart_n as_o any_o and_o certain_a i_o be_o that_o i_o do_v not_o change_v my_o own_o heart_n thou_o take_v away_o the_o stony_a heart_n we_o do_v not_o give_v thou_o it_o 9_o but_o alas_o lord_n i_o be_o far_o from_o be_v poor_a in_o spirit_n in_o any_o measure_n according_a to_o that_o which_o thou_o in_o thy_o word_n require_v my_o passion_n and_o the_o boiling_n of_o my_o heart_n my_o love_a to_o be_v call_v rabbi_n and_o to_o be_v esteem_v by_o other_o and_o many_o other_o distemper_n and_o corruption_n of_o that_o nature_n which_o i_o have_v daily_a to_o struggle_v withal_o evident_o prove_v the_o pride_n of_o my_o heart_n nay_o and_o the_o affliction_n that_o thou_o laey_v upon_o i_o plain_o show_v what_o the_o corruption_n be_v that_o thou_o intend_v especial_o to_o cure_v by_o the_o medicine_n oft_o time_n one_o may_v know_v what_o the_o disease_n be_v and_o lord_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v no_o other_o end_n in_o it_o then_o to_o manifest_v my_o distemper_n to_o thou_o for_o i_o to_o confess_v the_o secret_a pride_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o strange_a wind_n turn_n depth_n and_o the_o strange_a and_o new_a monster_n of_o pride_n and_o hypocrisy_n that_o i_o may_v daily_o discover_v in_o myself_o alas_o lord_n thou_o know_v these_o altogether_o and_o since_o thou_o do_v so_o what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o wonder_v that_o thou_o shall_v shine_v upon_o such_o a_o dunghill_n as_o i_o be_o but_o lord_n thou_o only_o can_v cure_v i_o of_o this_o pride_n and_o hypocrisy_n of_o heart_n for_o my_o prayer_n can_v nay_o though_o i_o consider_v and_o be_o convince_v of_o rhe_n desperate_a wickedness_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n the_o vileness_n of_o my_o nature_n the_o abomination_n of_o my_o life_n yet_o these_o can_v work_v without_o thou_o as_o a_o plaster_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o excellent_a lay_v on_o the_o wound_n of_o a_o dead_a man_n it_o draw_v not_o it_o heal_v not_o so_o be_v all_o consideration_n and_o convicton_n to_o a_o dead_a heart_n 2_o but_o alas_o what_o be_v there_o in_o i_o whereof_o i_o shall_v in_o any_o measure_n pride_n myself_o for_o other_o to_o have_v good_a thought_n of_o i_o be_v no_o very_o strange_a thing_n for_o so_o they_o have_v of_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n but_o for_o one_o that_o know_v the_o baseness_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n the_o cernal_a ground_n manner_n and_o end_n of_o his_o action_n and_o a_o thousand_o other_o distemper_n and_o corruption_n for_o such_o a_o one_o to_o have_v high_a thought_n of_o himself_o be_v one_o will_v think_v impossible_a but_o as_o to_o god_n nothing_o be_v impossible_a that_o argue_v power_n so_o to_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o every_o one_o have_v by_o nature_n nothing_o isimpossible_a that_o argue_v sin_n and_o we_o have_v more_o cause_n to_o wonder_v that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n then_o that_o we_o have_v do_v the_o evil_n that_o we_o have_v for_o certain_o have_v god_n but_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o satan_n subtlety_n and_o malice_n to_o improve_v they_o we_o have_v commit_v that_o sin_n long_o ago_o and_o alas_o what_o good_a do_v the_o high_a esteem_n of_o other_o do_v we_o be_v we_o ever_o a_o whit_n the_o more_o holy_a because_o they_o think_v we_o so_o nay_o have_v it_o not_o prove_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v we_o more_o sinful_a god_n have_v abundant_o declare_v his_o wrath_n against_o this_o sin_n by_o that_o vengeance_n which_o he_o have_v pour_v out_o upon_o satan_n for_o be_v guilty_a of_o it_o how_o many_o severe_a threaten_n be_v there_o in_o the_o word_n of_o god_n against_o pride_n and_o how_o many_o precious_a promise_n to_o those_o that_o be_v humble_a the_o lord_n behold_v the_o proud_a afar_o off_o but_o to_o this_o man_n will_v he_o look_v that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o his_o word_n 3._o what_o be_v the_o thing_n that_o cause_v thou_o to_o pride_n thyself_o be_v they_o thy_o gift_n either_o of_o edification_n or_o sanctification_n consider_v that_o 1._o they_o be_v very_o mean_a scarce_o any_o of_o thy_o call_n have_v weak_a gift_n of_o edification_n and_o no_o saint_n under_o heaven_n have_v weak_a gift_n of_o sanctification_n 2._o suppose_v thy_o gift_n be_v great_a o_o what_o a_o heavy_a account_n must_v there_o be_v for_o misspend_v such_o talent_n what_o way_n can_v thou_o worse_o misspend_v they_o then_o by_o pride_v thyself_o in_o they_o do_v man_n praise_v thou_o alas_o thou_o may_v go_v to_o hell_n with_o their_o praise_n for_o so_o do_v the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n do_v all_o man_n speak_v well_o of_o thou_o and_o do_v thou_o pride_n thyself_o and_o rejoice_v in_o that_o fear_v and_o tremble_v at_o what_o our_o saviour_n say_v woe_n unto_o you_o when_o all_o man_n speak_v well_o of_o you_o for_o so_o do_v their_o father_n of_o the_o false_a prophet_n 3._o consider_v how_o unkind_o thou_o deal_v with_o god_n thou_o do_v as_o a_o woman_n that_o shall_v deck_v herself_o with_o the_o jewel_n that_o her_o husband_n have_v give_v she_o but_o despight_v his_o love_n give_v away_o those_o jewel_n to_o those_o with_o who_o she_o play_v the_o harlot_n the_o more_o to_o entice_v they_o be_v
that_o i_o must_v say_v if_o god_n will_v forsake_v i_o for_o ever_o meditat._n vi._n since_o our_o dear_a lord_n jesus_n christ_n have_v love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o oh_o that_o my_o heart_n be_v ravish_v with_o his_o love_n oh_o that_o he_o be_v the_o belove_a of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_v sick_a of_o his_o love_n who_o die_v for_o the_o love_n of_o i_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v stay_v but_o with_o his_o flagon_n this_o my_o jesus_n the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o he_o that_o see_v thou_o see_v the_o father_n whereby_o i_o understand_v that_o thou_o be_v just_a as_o he_o be_v as_o pitiful_a as_o gracious_a as_o willing_a to_o forgive_v as_o sweet_a and_o as_o easy_a to_o be_v entreat_v as_o my_o good_a saviour_n and_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n and_o passage_n that_o thy_o word_n have_v make_v know_v to_o we_o of_o he_o i_o read_v not_o of_o one_o of_o all_o that_o come_v to_o he_o not_o one_o poor_a soul_n that_o ever_o beg_v any_o grace_n or_o any_o pardon_n nor_o never_o do_v any_o come_v to_o be_v heal_v of_o any_o bodily_a disease_n in_o vain_a lord_n thou_o be_v as_o he_o be_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o be_v as_o thou_o be_v thy_o be_v in_o heaven_n make_v thou_o not_o less_o like_o thy_o father_n or_o thyself_o bless_v god_n i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o to_o give_v i_o thy_o poor_a hard-hearted_a servant_n a_o soft_a heart_n lord_n jesus_n i_o beseech_v thou_o thou_o see_v my_o heart_n my_o poor_a heart_n desire_v as_o imperfect_o as_o cold_o to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o i_o for_o who_o thou_o have_v pay_v a_o dear_a price_n as_o one_o that_o have_v be_v so_o long_o from_o his_o friend_n have_v he_o can_v hardly_o call_v to_o remembrance_n what_o countenance_n he_o have_v so_o i_o poor_a i_o that_o can_v choose_v but_o pity_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o though_o it_o do_v not_o incessant_o and_o importunate_o desire_v grace_n as_o it_o shall_v yet_o methinks_v it_o be_v a_o sad_a thing_n to_o see_v it_o in_o such_o a_o careless_a temper_n i_o be_o such_o a_o stranger_n to_o thou_o that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o make_v one_o thought_n of_o thy_o sweet_a love_n and_o excellency_n that_o may_v affect_v my_o heart_n and_o bring_v the_o sweet_a apprehension_n of_o thou_o to_o remembrance_n thy_o tender_a mercy_n and_o former_a relish_v of_o thy_o goodness_n be_v to_o i_o like_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n they_o be_v as_o christ_n walk_v upon_o the_o water_n they_o terrify_v i_o lord_n let_v i_o weep_v thou_o to_o i_o again_o oh_o my_o god_n i_o be_o undo_v undo_v undo_v a_o poor_a undo_v creature_n those_o in_o desertion_n be_v in_o a_o thousand_o time_n better_a condition_n than_o i_o be_o they_o want_v the_o comfort_n but_o then_o indeed_o they_o have_v the_o grace_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o be_v not_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o want_v both_o in_o a_o sad_a condition_n that_o can_v sit_v down_o and_o fall_v asleep_a when_o i_o shall_v seek_v my_o saviour_n i_o have_v a_o soul_n of_o such_o a_o temper_n as_o make_v i_o wonder_v at_o myself_o as_o in_o the_o spring_n and_o sometime_o there_o will_v come_v a_o cloud_n that_o will_v seem_v to_o overspread_v the_o heaven_n and_o yet_o on_o the_o sudden_a all_o will_v be_v blow_v over_o and_o the_o day_n so_o fair_a that_o there_o will_v not_o be_v a_o cloud_n to_o be_v see_v so_o be_o i_o sometime_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o sorrow_n and_o my_o eye_n full_a of_o tear_n and_o yet_o upon_o the_o sudden_a my_o heart_n lose_v that_o sweet_a sad_a temper_n and_o all_o be_v blow_v over_o and_o not_o a_o cloud_n appear_v and_o these_o cloud_n of_o grief_n be_v not_o disperse_v with_o the_o comfort_n and_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n but_o with_o worldly_a business_n or_o company_n when_o i_o do_v grieve_v for_o my_o sin_n carnal_a grief_n bear_v a_o share_n in_o it_o and_o carnal_a joy_n abolish_v it_o meditat._n vii_o to_o confess_v my_o sin_n without_o any_o sense_n of_o they_o without_o any_o hatred_n of_o they_o to_o pray_v for_o grace_n and_o not_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o the_o necessity_n or_o excellency_n of_o it_o to_o come_v to_o thy_o ordinance_n without_o reap_v any_o good_a from_o they_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v of_o thou_o and_o neither_o admire_v nor_o love_v thou_o nor_o long_o and_o delight_v to_o be_v in_o thy_o company_n to_o what_o purpose_n be_v these_o thing_n thou_o desire_v of_o we_o our_o heart_n and_o not_o our_o work_n word_n or_o thought_n without_o that_o ah_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n shall_v all_o be_v in_o vain_a and_o will_v thou_o cast_v i_o off_o for_o ever_o do_v thou_o hate_v my_o soul_n and_o be_o i_o a_o abomination_n unto_o thou_o must_v i_o be_v shut_v out_o for_o ever_o and_o never_o enjoy_v the_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o presence_n thou_o will_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o will_v not_o thou_o can_v not_o o_o my_o god_n thou_o can_v not_o for_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n withme_n and_o i_o claim_v that_o covenant_n for_o i_o have_v not_o any_o thing_n in_o world_n beside_o thy_o covenant_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n that_o i_o can_v so_o much_o as_o have_v the_o least_o hope_n that_o will_v do_v i_o any_o good_a if_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n do_v not_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o make_v intercession_n for_o i_o my_o sin_n continual_o daily_o hourly_o clamor_v against_o i_o and_o accuse_v of_o i_o must_v needs_o prevail_v against_o i_o alas_o my_o hair_n be_v far_o from_o that_o spiritual_a frame_n that_o thou_o require_v for_o the_o misery_n that_o sin_n bring_v be_v more_o troublesome_a and_o heavy_a to_o i_o then_o the_o silthiness_n that_o be_v in_o fin_n thy_o blessing_n be_v more_o lovely_a in_o my_o eye_n then_o thyself_o every_o duty_n harden_v i_o in_o my_o formality_n lord_n thovart_n the_o father_n of_o mercy_n oh_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o for_o my_o case_n be_v not_o the_o common_a case_n of_o thy_o people_n but_o few_o few_o of_o many_o may_v be_v find_v who_o soul_n be_v like_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o where_o be_v there_o any_o that_o can_v say_v so_o and_o yet_o be_v so_o little_o affect_v as_o i_o be_o meditat._v viii_o my_o hope_n be_v false_a and_o my_o fear_n be_v true_a the_o deadly_a poison_n do_v not_o make_v i_o sick_a nor_o the_o excellent_a cordial_n do_v not_o comfort_v i_o i_o be_o not_o sick_a of_o sin_n nor_o do_v the_o sacrament_n of_o the_o body_n and_o blood_n of_o christ_n fill_v i_o with_o joy_n nay_o rather_o do_v it_o not_o fill_v i_o with_o grief_n and_o fear_n if_o my_o fear_n and_o grief_n be_v not_o carnal_a will_v they_o be_v more_o but_o my_o carnal_a joy_n eat_v out_o my_o spiritual_a grief_n and_o my_o joy_n also_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v like_o absalon_n i_o hang_v between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n i_o will_v fain_o have_v heaven_n and_o yet_o will_v not_o part_v with_o earth_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v thou_o of_o no_o more_o excellency_n in_o my_o eye_n do_v thy_o love_n to_o i_o raise_v up_o no_o more_o love_n in_o i_o then_o to_o stand_v deliberate_v what_o to_o do_v when_o thou_o stand_v with_o stretch_v out_o arm_n to_o receive_v i_o to_o thy_o bosom_n can_v thou_o love_v one_o that_o love_v thou_o so_o little_a as_o i_o do_v thou_o do_v love_v i_o when_o i_o love_v thou_o not_o at_o all_o why_o sit_v thou_o so_o sad_a o_o my_o soul_n go_v cast_v thyself_o into_o the_o arm_n and_o bosom_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n there_o lie_v and_o hear_v the_o beat_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o thou_o and_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v be_v warm_v with_o the_o heat_n of_o his_o love_n christ_n pour_v out_o the_o boil_a stream_n of_o his_o heartblood_n upon_o thy_o poor_a soul_n for_o his_o hear_v boil_a in_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o can_v thy_o heart_n still_o be_v freeze_v oh_o infidelity_n thou_o be_v the_o poison_n of_o my_o soul_n thou_o with_o thy_o cold_a blast_n haste_v freeze_v mâ—ne_a heart_n and_o keep_v it_o so_o lord_n give_v i_o faith_n or_o else_o all_o thy_o mercy_n be_v in_o vain_a thy_o love_n be_v and_o have_v be_v too_o great_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v lord_n thou_o that_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o christ_n oh_o love_v i_o so_o much_o as_o to_o give_v i_o say_v to_o believe_v it_o there_o remain_v in_o my_o heart_n no_o more_o than_o the_o first_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o the_o first_o principle_n of_o grace_n that_o thou_o do_v put_v into_o my_o soul_n when_o thou_o do_v regenerate_v i_o all_o the_o flame_n
or_o hear_v to_o inflame_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v better_a not_o set_v a_o hour_n apart_o and_o give_v thou_o all_o the_o day_n by_o think_v always_o of_o thou_o lord_n i_o do_v now_o acknowledge_v for_o than_o i_o shall_v not_o but_o if_o thou_o shall_v leave_v i_o i_o shall_v be_v too_o much_o give_v to_o blaspheme_v thou_o nay_o blessed_a god_n let_v that_o never_o be_v lord_n it_o shall_v never_o be_v when_o i_o consider_v the_o desperate_a hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o may_v every_o morning_n expect_v that_o thou_o shall_v give_v i_o up_o to_o a_o reprobate_a sense_n to_o commit_v sin_n with_o greediness_n when_o i_o think_v of_o these_o thing_n i_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n within_o i_o to_o think_v with_o myself_o i_o shall_v lose_v my_o estate_n a_o little_a trouble_v i_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v such_o a_o friend_n it_o affect_v i_o more_o but_o to_o think_v i_o shall_v lose_v my_o god_n and_o become_v a_o apostate_n that_o be_v a_o hell_n unto_o i_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o thou_o as_o for_o my_o life_n that_o thou_o will_v not_o leave_v i_o and_o now_o i_o beg_v o_o forsake_v i_o not_o utter_o to_o have_v such_o a_o heart_n that_o will_v neither_o inflame_v my_o word_n nor_o be_v inflame_v by_o they_o be_v that_o which_o have_v not_o be_v so_o lord_n except_o thou_o will_v follow_v one_o that_o will_v not_o stay_v when_o thou_o call_v and_o overtake_v one_o that_o run_v from_o thou_o when_o thou_o follow_v i_o be_o lose_v well_o i_o be_o sure_a my_o froward_a and_o careless_a carriage_n will_v justify_v thy_o justice_n if_o thou_o condemn_v i_o and_o magnify_v thy_o mercy_n if_o thou_o save_v i_o meditat._n thirty-nine_o lord_n this_o day_n be_v thou_o own_o and_o by_o be_v thou_o be_v the_o more_o i_o i_o must_v now_o burn_v without_o coal_n about_o i_o the_o time_n have_v be_v when_o if_o i_o have_v be_v cold_a and_o dull_a the_o society_n exprâ—ssions_n and_o example_n of_o other_o in_o day_n set_v apart_o to_o thou_o will_v have_v inflame_v i_o now_o the_o company_n i_o have_v be_v water_n and_o snow_n woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n and_o yet_o lord_n thou_o be_v never_o want_v thou_o send_v forth_o thy_o beam_n of_o light_n and_o heat_n if_o i_o bring_v not_o cloud_n over_o my_o own_o head_n i_o may_v have_v enough_o light_n from_o thou_o lord_n when_o will_v these_o day_n of_o sin_n be_v end_v and_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n come_v i_o come_v into_o thy_o presence_n but_o when_o i_o be_o come_v i_o be_o silent_a and_o deaf_a neither_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o hear_v the_o sweet_a whisper_n of_o thy_o spirit_n o_o that_o i_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v myself_o unto_o thou_o or_o that_o thou_o will_v take_v these_o poor_a long_n of_o my_o soul_n for_o a_o gift_n and_o thereupon_o take_v possession_n of_o my_o soul_n my_o day_n of_o leap_v for_o joy_n to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v go_v and_o now_o my_o day_n of_o sorrow_n to_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n be_v come_v my_o tear_n be_v now_o my_o meat_n and_o drink_n o_o that_o i_o have_v more_o of_o they_o so_o they_o be_v more_o spiritual_a i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n but_o thou_o be_v the_o rich_a god_n my_o poor_a heart_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o speak_v why_o be_v thou_o silent_a what_o say_v thou_o be_v not_o god_n a_o good_a god_n what_o relish_n or_o sweetness_n be_v there_o in_o these_o word_n if_o thou_o do_v not_o set_v to_o thy_o seal_n lord_n to_o thy_o glory_n though_o not_o to_o my_o comfort_n be_v it_o speak_v thou_o have_v be_v a_o good_a god_n to_o i_o but_o i_o have_v no_o comfort_n from_o this_o truth_n if_o i_o never_o relish_v it_o yet_o if_o my_o heart_n will_v be_v so_o wicked_a and_o vile_a and_o base_a as_o not_o to_o acknowledge_v it_o yet_o my_o hand_n shall_v write_v that_o which_o shall_v witness_v for_o my_o god_n against_o myself_o thou_o be_v good_a patient_a and_o merciful_a unto_o i_o enough_o to_o make_v earth_n and_o heaven_n to_o wonder_v at_o thy_o goodness_n and_o my_o vileness_n ah_o my_o god_n my_o god_n must_v my_o word_n go_v beyond_o my_o thought_n of_o love_n to_o thou_o lord_n thou_o be_v enough_o for_o heaven_n enough_o for_o thyself_o and_o be_v thou_o not_o enough_o for_o i_o try_n o_o my_o soul_n try_v thou_o will_v never_o trust_v before_o thou_o know_v this_o by_o experience_n thou_o know_v abundant_o that_o the_o creature_n have_v tell_v thou_o it_o be_v not_o in_o i_o this_o thou_o know_v by_o experience_n and_o by_o faith_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v in_o god_n well_o then_o lay_v all_o thy_o weight_n and_o strength_n upon_o he_o and_o none_o upon_o the_o creature_n hold_v upon_o he_o with_o both_o hand_n or_o else_o thou_o will_v attribute_v the_o great_a fail_v unto_o god_n for_o as_o he_o that_o stand_v upon_o never_o so_o strong_a a_o place_n if_o he_o lean_a against_o a_o rot_a wall_n he_o shall_v fall_v and_o one_o that_o be_v asleep_a when_o he_o fall_v will_v not_o know_v whether_o fail_v he_o and_o so_o if_o we_o do_v but_o lean_a to_o our_o own_o wisdom_n we_o shall_v happy_o think_v that_o god_n fail_v lord_n i_o wait_v i_o long_o for_o thy_o appearance_n thou_o be_v enough_o lord_n i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v i_o be_o undo_v without_o thou_o lord_n i_o hear_v the_o poor_a fly_n oh_o how_o it_o fly_v up_o and_o down_o now_o it_o be_v warm_v and_o revive_v with_o the_o warmth_n of_o the_o sun_n yesterday_o it_o lay_v still_o as_o dead_a sure_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n i_o shall_v be_v active_a and_o cheerful_a in_o thy_o service_n no_o marvel_v heaven_n be_v so_o full_a of_o thy_o praise_n when_o thou_o communicate_a thyself_o so_o full_o to_o they_o the_o crumb_n that_o fall_v from_o thy_o table_n be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o these_o temporal_a blessing_n be_v more_o than_o i_o can_v challenge_v yet_o lord_n i_o can_v be_v content_a with_o they_o give_v i_o thyself_o and_o it_o suffice_v for_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o share_n without_o thou_o meditat._n xl._o alas_o my_o god_n pride_n and_o despair_n divide_v my_o life_n when_o i_o find_v any_o thing_n i_o do_v in_o some_o manner_n as_o i_o shall_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v pu_v up_o and_o think_v that_o i_o do_v more_o than_o some_o other_o of_o god_n people_n and_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o my_o fail_n these_o thought_n begin_v to_o arise_v it_o be_v in_o vain_a i_o shall_v never_o overcome_v such_o corruption_n my_o sin_n do_v i_o more_o harm_n by_o discourage_v i_o then_o in_o the_o commission_n meditat._n xli_o lord_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n until_o thou_o have_v all_o our_o love_n while_o our_o heart_n be_v divide_v between_o the_o world_n and_o thou_o we_o can_v have_v no_o quiet_a natural_a conscience_n draw_v one_o way_n and_o natural_a corruption_n another_o way_n it_o be_v our_o ignorance_n that_o make_v we_o think_v that_o there_o be_v not_o enough_o in_o thou_o to_o satisfy_v all_o our_o desire_n and_o supply_v our_o want_n which_o make_v we_o join_v the_o creature_n with_o thou_o when_o lord_n when_o shall_v all_o my_o thought_n be_v of_o thou_o i_o be_o weary_a of_o be_v thus_o divide_v lord_n if_o i_o can_v dispose_v of_o myself_o i_o give_v myself_o whole_o to_o thou_o o_o refuse_v not_o that_o gift_n which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o desire_v thou_o have_v say_v give_v i_o thy_o heart_n lord_n my_o heart_n belong_v while_o thou_o have_v it_o if_o thou_o say_v that_o i_o do_v not_o give_v myself_o free_o and_o whole_o enough_o alas_o nor_o never_o shall_v until_o thou_o take_v my_o heart_n and_o discover_v the_o secret_n of_o thy_o love_n unto_o i_o when_o thou_o do_v that_o i_o shall_v run_v after_o thou_o lord_n heâ—e's_v my_o poor_a soul_n it_o lie_v at_o thy_o foot_n grovel_v and_o gasp_v for_o life_n the_o creature_n have_v leave_v i_o and_o i_o have_v leave_v the_o creature_n and_o will_v not_o that_o it_o shall_v have_v any_o more_o of_o my_o love_n but_o it_o still_o woe_n i_o and_o follow_v i_o for_o my_o love_n unless_o thou_o overcome_v these_o strong_a corruption_n i_o shall_v never_o be_v at_o quiet_a meditat._n xlii_o sometime_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o be_v fill_v with_o joy_n so_o that_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o thou_o be_v my_o exceed_a joy_n and_o then_o i_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v for_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o my_o joy_n be_v false_a when_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o come_v by_o it_o whether_o my_o prayer_n have_v be_v more_o servant_n and_o frequent_a of_o
of_o god_n knowledge_n itself_o but_o thus_o that_o god_n be_v much_o more_o offend_v with_o we_o if_o our_o carriage_n and_o frame_n of_o heart_n be_v more_o irreverent_a and_o unholy_a in_o the_o time_n of_o prayer_n and_o meditation_n then_o at_o such_o time_n as_o we_o be_v in_o the_o work_n of_o our_o particular_a call_n 3._o we_o may_v consider_v with_o ourselves_o that_o christ_n do_v actual_o behold_v we_o especial_o in_o these_o duty_n of_o holiness_n for_o it_o be_v not_o the_o distance_n of_o place_n that_o do_v hinder_v christ_n knowledge_n and_o exact_a observe_v of_o we_o little_o do_v nathanael_n then_o think_v that_o christ_n see_v he_o under_o the_o figtree_n nathonael_n do_v not_o see_v christ_n nor_o be_v he_o corporal_o present_v then_o yet_o christ_n behold_v nathanael_n when_o he_o pray_v so_o christ_n behold_v stephen_n before_o the_o heaven_n be_v open_v and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o heaven_n be_v not_o that_o that_o thereby_o christ_n may_v be_v enable_v the_o better_a to_o behold_v stephen_n but_o that_o stephen_n may_v thereby_o be_v the_o better_o enable_v to_o see_v that_o christ_n look_v on_o he_o without_o all_o controversy_n god_n know_v and_o observe_v with_o what_o reverence_n faith_n love_n etc._n etc._n we_o pray_v for_o else_o our_o prayer_n will_v be_v in_o vain_a and_o our_o faith_n also_o vain_a for_o how_o can_v he_o give_v we_o according_a to_o our_o faith_n if_o he_o know_v not_o how_o much_o our_o faith_n be_v if_o the_o inward_a frame_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v not_o observe_v by_o he_o than_o a_o hypocrite_n that_o have_v better_a expression_n shall_v get_v more_o by_o his_o prayer_n than_o a_o true_a nathanael_n that_o have_v a_o better_a heart_n 4._o suppose_v that_o thou_o have_v live_v in_o christ_n time_n or_o suppose_v that_o christ_n be_v now_o in_o england_n consider_v with_o what_o joy_n reverence_n and_o confidence_n thou_o will_v go_v to_o he_o for_o the_o pardon_n of_o thy_o sin_n or_o for_o any_o other_o mercy_n thou_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o thou_o may_v go_v so_o to_o he_o now_o his_o distance_n from_o thou_o in_o respect_n of_o corporal_a presence_n do_v not_o make_v he_o less_o able_a to_o know_v thy_o want_n or_o hear_v thy_o prayer_n nor_o his_o be_v now_o glorify_v make_v he_o less_o willing_a to_o grant_v they_o then_o if_o it_o be_v bodily_a present_n in_o the_o room_n with_o thou_o in_o the_o form_n of_o a_o servant_n as_o he_o be_v once_o at_o jerusalem_n the_o glory_n of_o christ_n do_v not_o hinder_v his_o love_n and_o goodness_n for_o christ_n be_v the_o express_a image_n of_o his_o father_n and_o god_n attribute_n do_v not_o not_o hinder_v one_o another_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n do_v not_o set_v bound_n unto_o his_o goodness_n and_o make_v that_o finite_a nor_o do_v his_o goodness_n make_v his_o majesty_n less_o glorious_a his_o goodness_n make_v his_o majesty_n more_o amiable_a and_o his_o majesty_n make_v his_o goodness_n more_o wonderful_a so_o neither_o do_v the_o exaltation_n of_o christ_n cause_v he_o to_o abate_v any_o thing_n of_o his_o goodness_n unto_o his_o people_n but_o if_o any_o way_n his_o love_n be_v alter_v it_o be_v by_o be_v make_v more_o than_o it_o be_v and_o when_o christ_n be_v upon_o earth_n you_o must_v have_v come_v to_o he_o by_o faith_n or_o you_o can_v obtain_v no_o mercy_n from_o he_o and_o by_o faith_n though_o he_o be_v in_o heaven_n you_o may_v obtain_v any_o mercy_n now_o you_o may_v consider_v any_o one_o or_o two_o or_o more_o of_o these_o consideration_n until_o your_o heart_n be_v so_o convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v thereby_o be_v the_o better_o fit_v for_o the_o carry_v on_o the_o duty_n of_o meditation_n more_o effectual_o chap._n viii_o concern_v the_o preparatory_a prayer_n that_o be_v to_o be_v use_v before_o meditation_n the_o next_o preparatory_a consideration_n be_v prayer_n and_o it_o be_v to_o be_v perform_v in_o these_o word_n or_o to_o like_a purpose_n lord_n my_o design_n in_o this_o duty_n of_o meditation_n be_v not_o to_o be_v a_o hour_n sequester_v from_o worldly_a employment_n for_o that_o be_v to_o be_v idle_a a_o hour_n and_o to_o increase_v my_o sin_n not_o my_o grace_n but_o my_o business_n at_o this_o time_n be_v to_o be_v so_o convince_v and_o affect_v with_o those_o spiritual_a truth_n reveal_v in_o thy_o word_n that_o i_o may_v full_o resolve_v by_o thy_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o reform_v my_o life_n because_o i_o can_v neither_o understand_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n nor_o understand_v they_o be_v convince_v of_o the_o certainty_n and_o truth_n of_o they_o nay_o lord_n though_o my_o understanding_n be_v enlighten_v yet_o without_o thou_o my_o affection_n can_v be_v inflame_v i_o can_v neither_o know_v resolve_v nor_o perform_v what_o be_v good_a without_o thou_o for_o from_o thou_o come_v both_o the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n of_o thy_o good_a pleasure_n i_o beseech_v thou_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v give_v i_o thy_o grace_n to_o make_v conscience_n of_o perform_v this_o duty_n with_o my_o whole_a strength_n and_o not_o careless_o and_o perfunctory_o and_o lord_n do_v thou_o enlighten_v i_o with_o and_o convince_v i_o of_o thy_o truth_n and_o so_o affect_v my_o heart_n with_o the_o love_n of_o holiness_n and_o hatred_n of_o sin_n etc._n etc._n that_o i_o may_v thereby_o be_v enable_v full_o firm_o notwithstanding_o all_o the_o opposition_n that_o the_o flesh_n world_n or_o devil_n can_v make_v to_o run_v the_o way_n of_o thy_o commandment_n with_o joy_n and_o with_o speed_n and_o when_o thou_o have_v wrought_v in_o i_o the_o will_v so_o to_o do_v give_v i_o also_o the_o deed_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o trust_v to_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o resolution_n but_o to_o the_o continual_a gracious_a assistance_n of_o thy_o spirit_n for_o the_o performance_n of_o those_o thing_n that_o through_o thou_o i_o shall_v resolve_v to_o do_v holy_a and_o bless_a god_n christ_n have_v send_v i_o wish_v i_o to_o come_v to_o thou_o in_o his_o name_n for_o any_o mercy_n i_o stand_v in_o need_n of_o grant_v these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v beg_v for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n amen_n this_o or_o a_o prayer_n to_o the_o like_a purpose_n thou_o be_v to_o put_v up_o unto_o god_n but_o it_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o thy_o whole_a heart_n for_o thou_o must_v know_v that_o it_o be_v by_o the_o strength_n which_o thou_o shall_v get_v from_o god_n by_o prayer_n whereby_o thou_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o perform_v this_o or_o any_o other_o duty_n profitable_o for_o it_o be_v he_o that_o teach_v we_o to_o profit_v he_o that_o begin_v a_o holy_a duty_n without_o god_n will_v end_v it_o without_o god_n also_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n to_o think_v that_o we_o can_v by_o our_o natural_a part_n learning_n or_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o grace_n already_o receive_v without_o god_n further_a assistance_n perform_v any_o thing_n that_o can_v please_v god_n or_o edify_v our_o own_o soul_n for_o though_o our_o mountain_n be_v make_v strong_a yet_o if_o he_o shall_v hide_v his_o face_n there_o will_v be_v trouble_n we_o may_v with_o much_o more_o sense_n say_v now_o the_o sun_n shine_v so_o bright_a and_o the_o air_n be_v so_o clear_a that_o now_o we_o can_v do_v well_o enough_o for_o a_o while_n though_o the_o sun_n be_v eclipse_v then_o to_o say_v though_o our_o heart_n be_v never_o so_o much_o inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n now_o we_o be_v so_o fill_v and_o inflame_v by_o his_o love_n we_o shall_v do_v well_o enough_o by_o our_o own_o strength_n for_o at_o the_o present_a we_o need_v not_o god_n further_a assistance_n give_v we_o but_o fuel_n matter_n to_o meditate_v of_o and_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o continue_v and_o increase_v our_o flame_n do_v not_o count_v it_o a_o burden_n but_o a_o mercy_n and_o privilege_n that_o god_n have_v necessitate_v and_o command_v thou_o always_o to_o draw_v strength_n from_o he_o chap._n ix_o several_a rule_n for_o manage_v the_o duty_n of_o consideration_n 1._o they_o must_v be_v plain_a consideration_n not_o intricate_a and_o abstruse_a for_o the_o main_a end_n of_o meditation_n be_v the_o affect_v of_o our_o heart_n and_o resorm_v of_o our_o life_n and_o not_o inform_v of_o our_o understanding_n our_o consideration_n shall_v be_v so_o plain_a that_o they_o may_v be_v without_o difficulty_n understand_v 2._o it_o must_v be_v certain_a and_o evident_a not_o controversial_a and_o doubtful_a for_o the_o end_n of_o meditation_n be_v not_o proper_o to_o increase_v our_o knowledge_n but_o to_o improve_v our_o knowledge_n 3._o much_o less_o shall_v our_o consideration_n be_v curious_a and_o nice_a speculation_n or_o if_o we_o choose_v any_o
be_v go_v out_o that_o be_v once_o kindle_v in_o i_o all_o the_o fruit_n and_o leave_n and_o bough_n be_v strip_v from_o i_o there_o be_v all_o thing_n to_o do_v beside_o bare_a regeneration_n i_o be_o as_o a_o arm_n cut_v off_o so_o that_o it_o hang_v only_o by_o a_o little_a skin_n a_o slender_a thread_n lord_n this_o be_v my_o hope_n that_o my_o corruption_n and_o satan_n that_o have_v quench_v these_o flame_n that_o i_o have_v have_v shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o quench_v this_o spark_n but_o alas_o that_o be_v a_o poor_a comfort_n that_o this_o be_v all_o my_o comfort_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o lose_v heaven_n though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o time_n too_o great_a a_o comfort_n for_o such_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n as_o i_o be_o to_o have_v it_o it_o nothing_o to_o lose_v all_o my_o comfort_n all_o my_o duty_n all_o my_o sweet_a communion_n with_o thou_o or_o at_o least_o only_o so_o much_o of_o these_o remain_v as_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o be_v utter_o cast_v off_o for_o one_o that_o have_v fare_v delicious_o every_o day_n to_o come_v to_o have_v no_o more_o bread_n then_o to_o keep_v life_n and_o soul_n together_o though_o he_o die_v not_o yet_o he_o have_v a_o miserable_a life_n thus_o thus_o and_o far_o worse_a it_o be_v with_o i_o meditat._n ix_o i._o i_o stand_v clear_a before_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n of_o those_o many_o sin_n of_o sencelesness_n under_o judgement_n fruitlesness_n under_o ordinance_n mispend_v of_o time_n want_v of_o watchfulness_n of_o my_o one_o way_n and_o for_o the_o appear_v of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n only_o my_o sin_n of_o unkindness_n to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n be_v enough_o to_o cause_v thou_o to_o take_v away_o thy_o mercy_n from_o i_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o my_o redemption_n of_o his_o be_v scourge_v and_o crown_v and_o nail_v of_o his_o bleed_a and_o die_v for_o i_o of_o his_o great_a love_n and_o such_o thing_n that_o if_o a_o friend_n of_o this_o world_n have_v do_v or_o suffer_v the_o thousand_o part_n so_o much_o his_o memory_n will_v have_v be_v precious_a meditat._n x._o ah_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o have_v be_v my_o god_n and_o therefore_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n how_o little_o can_v my_o soul_n know_v by_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o now_o either_o do_v or_o feel_v i_o be_o fain_a to_o fetch_v evidence_n and_o sign_n from_o action_n do_v many_o year_n since_o my_o prayer_n and_o other_o holy_a duty_n be_v matter_n of_o more_o joy_n when_o i_o do_v they_o than_o now_o they_o have_v terror_n in_o they_o now_o i_o think_v i_o do_v they_o not_o as_o heretofore_o i_o have_v be_v assist_v by_o thy_o grace_n oh_o my_o lose_a joy_n and_o my_o lose_a duty_n where_o i_o shall_v find_v you_o i_o know_v not_o the_o joy_n i_o have_v former_o and_o the_o great_a zeal_n of_o my_o heart_n make_v i_o pray_v but_o now_o not_o out_o of_o feeling_n and_o zeal_n but_o for_o zeal_n and_o joy_n and_o i_o go_v from_o prayer_n with_o a_o sad_a heart_n and_o a_o hard_a heart_n my_o prayer_n come_v neither_o from_o my_o heart_n nor_o reach_n to_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o be_v thy_o motion_n and_o the_o joy_n of_o thy_o spirit_n to_o work_v thy_o own_o work_n in_o i_o why_o do_v i_o walk_v in_o this_o valley_n of_o tear_n not_o only_o without_o comfort_n but_o without_o grace_n i_o do_v even_o stand_v astonish_v at_o myself_o to_o see_v the_o vast_a difference_n between_o myself_o now_o and_o when_o i_o be_v thou_o when_o the_o candle_n of_o the_o almighty_a shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o my_o god_n dwell_v in_o i_o than_o sorrow_n and_o weep_v fly_v away_o alas_o i_o now_o have_v scarce_o any_o thing_n leave_v i_o but_o carnal_a tear_n and_o one_o great_a cause_n of_o my_o grief_n and_o part_n of_o my_o misery_n be_v that_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o sometime_o indeed_o tear_n stand_v in_o my_o eye_n when_o i_o consider_v these_o thing_n lord_n give_v i_o faith_n o_o give_v i_o faith_n i_o feel_v a_o deal_n of_o atheism_n in_o my_o heart_n my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a of_o corruption_n of_o all_o kind_n and_o all_o degree_n that_o i_o can_v feel_v no_o bottom_n of_o this_o stink_a ditch_n my_o imagination_n be_v divers_a time_n a_o thoroughfare_a for_o satan_n blasphemous_a thought_n which_o my_o soul_n abhor_v i_o may_v even_o sit_v down_o and_o spend_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n in_o weep_v and_o wail_v and_o wring_v of_o my_o hand_n and_o tear_v off_o the_o hair_n of_o my_o head_n my_o sad_a soul_n may_v say_v to_o my_o god_n be_v thou_o quite_o go_v from_o i_o have_v all_o my_o hope_n of_o thou_o be_v as_o dream_n and_o empty_a shadow_n unto_o i_o and_o have_v thou_o show_v i_o so_o much_o of_o heaven_n and_o will_v thou_o make_v hell_n more_o terrible_a and_o bitter_a to_o i_o shall_v thy_o sweet_a mercy_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o gall_n of_o asp_n to_o i_o not_o only_o to_o be_v bitter_a but_o deadly_a i_o have_v cause_n i_o have_v cause_n lord_n to_o mingle_v my_o drink_n with_o my_o tear_n to_o water_v my_o couch_n with_o weep_v thou_o be_v too_o great_a a_o god_n to_o be_v dally_v withal_o and_o what_o do_v i_o else_o as_o our_o dear_a friend_n though_o we_o never_o so_o much_o delight_v in_o their_o company_n while_o they_o be_v live_v yet_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o be_v alone_o with_o they_o they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o we_o after_o the_o soul_n have_v leave_v their_o earthly_a tabernacle_n so_o my_o prayer_n while_o they_o be_v live_v prayer_n be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o now_o my_o prayer_n be_v without_o life_n and_o my_o supplication_n be_v dead_a they_o be_v a_o terror_n to_o i_o they_o look_v ghastly_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o upon_o they_o meditat._n xi_o my_o dear_a god_n thou_o be_v not_o move_v with_o word_n if_o we_o have_v the_o tongue_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n if_o we_o can_v speak_v as_o never_o man_n speak_v if_o our_o heart_n mean_v no_o more_o than_o they_o do_v what_o will_v our_o vain_a word_n do_v i_o be_o ever_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n because_o of_o my_o corruption_n i_o can_v go_v no_o where_o nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o my_o coruption_n follow_v i_o and_o tire_v i_o even_o out_o of_o my_o patience_n o_o that_o i_o can_v weep_v over_o my_o prayer_n to_o see_v how_o dead_a they_o be_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o know_v not_o i_o have_v pray_v a_o thousand_o time_n for_o another_o heart_n and_o yet_o my_o heart_n be_v as_o hard_a as_o a_o stone_n and_o so_o full_a of_o hypocrisy_n lord_n shall_v i_o cast_v away_o my_o confidence_n and_o lay_v down_o my_o weapon_n and_o put_v off_o my_o armour_n because_o my_o corruption_n be_v so_o strong_a and_o impetuous_a and_o deaden_a my_o very_a soul_n but_o alas_o what_o be_o i_o weary_a of_o not_o of_o my_o sin_n but_o of_o the_o accusation_n of_o my_o conscience_n that_o will_v not_o let_v i_o alone_o bless_v be_v thy_o name_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o live_v holy_o lord_n my_o heart_n be_v entangle_v in_o the_o snare_n of_o the_o world_n bless_a saviour_n thou_o which_o have_v overcome_v the_o world_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o care_n and_o love_n of_o the_o world_n alas_o what_o good_a do_v my_o tear_n do_v i_o do_v thou_o bottle_n up_o such_o tear_n such_o puddle_n water_n in_o thy_o bottle_n let_v the_o bowel_n of_o thy_o compassion_n yern_v within_o thou_o towards_o my_o poor_a soul._n it_o be_v full_a of_o sin_n but_o my_o sin_n be_v my_o sorrow_n though_o my_o sorrow_n itself_o be_v sinful_a if_o thou_o stand_v as_o a_o stranger_n to_o i_o i_o must_v give_v over_o myself_o for_o lose_v than_o i_o may_v say_v farewell_n prayer_n better_a to_o say_v farewell_o then_o to_o add_v to_o my_o former_a sin_n a_o great_a guilt_n by_o defile_v my_o prayer_n that_o be_v as_o chariot_n to_o carry_v out_o my_o soul_n into_o the_o bosom_n of_o god_n what_o be_o i_o to_o stand_v against_o corruption_n or_o tempration_n i_o be_o no_o more_o able_a to_o overcome_v nay_o to_o resist_v they_o than_o to_o remove_v mountain_n i_o have_v sin_v away_o my_o joy_n and_o sin_v away_o my_o hope_n and_o even_o my_o god_n if_o thy_o mercy_n be_v not_o great_a and_o what_o remain_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n to_o do_v but_o to_o sit_v down_o in_o sorrow_n and_o even_o to_o mourn_v until_o my_o soul_n be_v heavy_a unto_o death_n it_o have_v be_v better_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v one_o to_o show_v the_o way_n to_o other_o nay_o but_o oh_o my_o god_n that_o be_v best_a
such_o continual_a storm_n &_o trouble_v as_o be_v in_o i_o there_o be_v new_a corruption_n appear_v such_o as_o i_o may_v term_v they_o nothing_o so_o fit_o as_o spark_n of_o of_o the_o fire_n of_o hell_n to_o have_v one_o heart_n rise_v against_o god_n when_o the_o continual_a desire_n of_o one_o soul_n and_o prayer_n be_v that_o one_o may_v be_v inflame_v with_o the_o love_n of_o god_n lord_n while_o i_o be_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o serious_a thought_n of_o thou_o endeavour_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o admiration_n of_o thou_o and_o affiance_n in_o thou_o before_o i_o pray_v unto_o thou_o that_o if_o it_o may_v be_v my_o prayer_n may_v be_v as_o a_o arrow_n draw_v up_o to_o the_o head_n but_o when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o pray_v and_o send_v up_o my_o petition_n my_o thought_n of_o thy_o glory_n and_o goodness_n slack_v and_o it_o fare_v with_o i_o oh_o my_o soul_n as_o sometime_o it_o do_v with_o one_o that_o be_v tie_v knot_n when_o one_o have_v pull_v the_o first_o very_o hard_o yet_o it_o slack_v before_o one_o can_v tie_v the_o second_o it_o i_o keep_v but_o a_o strict_a communion_n with_o thou_o and_o do_v as_o thou_o desire_v lord_n why_o shall_v thou_o desire_v we_o always_o to_o be_v with_o thou_o how_o shall_v we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o thou_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v and_o if_o we_o know_v thou_o more_o how_o shoould_v we_o love_v thou_o more_o and_o if_o we_o love_v thou_o more_o how_o shall_v we_o know_v thou_o more_o for_o thou_o reveale_v thyself_o to_o they_o that_o love_v thou_o alas_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o shall_v not_o we_o always_o be_v with_o god_n since_o he_o give_v we_o leave_v how_o gracious_a be_v thou_o to_o invite_v such_o sinner_n as_o we_o be_v to_o come_v to_o thou_o for_o thou_o to_o wash_v our_o soul_n clean_o with_o the_o immaculate_a blood_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n alas_o lord_n i_o be_o i_o own_o enemy_n nay_o i_o see_v it_o and_o know_v it_o and_o it_o can_v be_v otherwise_o lord_n i_o be_o so_o tire_v out_o with_o my_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_o even_o weary_a of_o my_o life_n and_o almost_o weary_a of_o my_o duty_n lord_n even_o at_o this_o present_a how_o when_o my_o â—oul_n be_v so_o trouble_v that_o i_o 〈…〉_z be_v ready_a to_o weep_v there_o 〈◊〉_d a_o thought_n of_o a_o poor_a worldly_a business_n into_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o thought_n and_o sorrow_n for_o heavenly_a matter_n be_v go_v meditat._v xxiii_o o_o my_o god_n how_o cold_o without_o love_n how_o doubt_o without_o faith_n do_v i_o call_v thou_o my_o god_n lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o in_o thy_o service_n how_o very_o careless_a how_o long_a lord_n holy_a and_o true_a shall_v i_o be_v thus_o lade_v with_o corruption_n nay_o which_o be_v my_o great_a misery_n i_o be_o not_o but_o very_o little_a sensible_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n that_o make_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n bless_a lord_n i_o do_v humble_o prostrate_v my_o soul_n before_o thou_o and_o do_v with_o all_o the_o weak_a power_n of_o my_o soul_n importune_v the_o merit_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n i_o pray_v thou_o to_o look_v upon_o i_o in_o mercy_n when_o the_o poor_a wound_a man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n lay_v half_a dead_a and_o speechless_a in_o the_o way_n though_o he_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o his_o misery_n yet_o the_o good_a samaritan_n be_v though_o in_o his_o tongue_n do_v not_o can_v not_o call_v for_o pity_n yet_o his_o wound_n open_v their_o mouth_n wide_a and_o speak_v aloud_o to_o the_o samaritan_n though_o his_o eye_n shed_v no_o tear_n yet_o his_o heart_n weep_v blood_n at_o his_o wound_n and_o move_v compassion_n like_o to_o that_o poor_a wound_a man_n i_o be_o so_o weak_a so_o sick_a that_o i_o be_o scarce_o sensible_a of_o my_o own_o desperate_a condition_n lord_n though_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o full_a of_o love_n it_o be_v full_a of_o wound_n lord_n thou_o know_v my_o misery_n i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o pity_v i_o not_o according_a to_o my_o prayer_n but_o according_a to_o my_o want_n lord_n that_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o that_o i_o do_v not_o hunger_n nor_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n it_o be_v the_o great_a misery_n that_o i_o have_v meditat._v xxiv_o oh_o how_o terrible_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o death_n to_o i_o be_v it_o not_o so_o much_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n as_o holiness_n and_o indeed_o i_o find_v that_o i_o can_v never_o with_o comfort_n think_v on_o death_n but_o when_o i_o have_v live_v very_o holy_o before_o for_o what_o will_v faith_n in_o that_o case_n help_v i_o without_o holiness_n for_o faith_n without_o holiness_n be_v not_o faith_n but_o presumption_n oh_o how_o sweet_a how_o dear_a how_o excellent_a a_o thing_n be_v holiness_n oh_o how_o full_a of_o peace_n and_o joy_n be_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o be_o full_a of_o that_o and_o yet_o lord_n how_o careless_a be_o i_o of_o thy_o service_n how_o many_o time_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o may_v think_v of_o thou_o without_o any_o hindrance_n of_o my_o study_n do_v i_o choose_v rather_o to_o think_v of_o vanity_n o_o wean_v my_o soul_n o_o god_n from_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v not_o thou_o fill_v my_o heart_n with_o thyself_o dwell_v in_o i_o my_o dear_a god_n why_o do_v i_o call_v thou_o dear_a when_o i_o prefer_v every_o trifle_n before_o thou_o o_o most_o glorious_a lord_n god_n who_o ten_o thousand_o world_n can_v sufficient_o praise_v nor_o love_n which_o be_v thyself_o and_o can_v be_v no_o more_o nor_o can_v be_v no_o less_o how_o easy_a lord_n be_v it_o for_o thou_o to_o change_v my_o heart_n my_o heart_n of_o stone_n for_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n lord_n as_o long_o as_o i_o have_v this_o heart_n of_o stone_n there_o be_v no_o hope_n that_o i_o shall_v serve_v thou_o with_o any_o cheerfulness_n or_o any_o constancy_n lord_n hear_v my_o prayer_n meditat._v xxv_o o_o bless_a god_n if_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o providence_n be_v such_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o make_v i_o through_o the_o abundance_n of_o it_o almost_o whether_o i_o will_v or_o no_o to_o serve_v thou_o yet_o to_o who_o thou_o do_v give_v so_o much_o grace_n as_o to_o desire_v more_o grace_n o_o let_v not_o this_o desire_n which_o be_v of_o thy_o own_o infuse_v be_v in_o vain_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n in_o the_o whole_a world_n that_o i_o desire_v more_o than_o thy_o grace_n then_o let_v i_o want_v grace_n to_o desire_v it_o any_o more_o lord_n if_o the_o reason_n why_o thou_o deny_v my_o prayer_n be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o desire_v as_o i_o ought_v i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o grant_v that_o i_o ask_v aright_o alas_o my_o affliction_n lie_v heavy_a on_o i_o then_o ever_o they_o do_v and_o i_o be_o more_o wicked_a or_o at_o least_o less_o holy_a than_o ever_o since_o my_o conversion_n i_o be_v how_o little_a be_o i_o affect_v with_o any_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o thy_o service_n nor_o yet_o do_v it_o affect_v i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o affect_v lord_n if_o there_o be_v any_o in_o heaven_n or_o in_o earth_n that_o can_v help_v i_o beside_o thou_o then_o consider_v my_o manifold_a sin_n i_o shall_v i_o but_o lord_n i_o will_v not_o thy_o mercy_n be_v so_o great_a go_v to_o any_o other_o now_o lord_n now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o i_o be_o like_o the_o man_n that_o go_v from_o jerusalem_n to_o jericho_n wound_v naked_a and_o half_a dead_a i_o can_v call_v for_o help_v o_o let_v my_o wound_n move_v thou_o to_o compassion_n if_o i_o can_v bewail_v my_o sinful_a misery_n with_o tear_n of_o repentance_n i_o know_v thou_o will_v deliver_v i_o but_o i_o can_v weep_v nay_o hardly_o mourn_v oh_o saint_n faint_a be_v my_o grief_n and_o cold_a be_v my_o love_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v lord_n with_o one_o that_o scarce_o from_o his_o heart_n desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o alas_o what_o can_v thou_o do_v for_o i_o more_o or_o less_o then_o to_o make_v i_o desire_v to_o serve_v thou_o accept_v i_o must_v or_o for_o ever_o be_v lose_v what_o a_o low_a degree_n of_o goodness_n be_o i_o come_v unto_o a_o soul_n full_a of_o sadness_n and_o empty_a of_o goodness_n to_o morrow_n lord_n i_o be_o to_o receive_v thou_o into_o my_o soul_n thou_o my_o bless_a saviour_n lord_n thou_o know_v i_o do_v not_o use_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o empty_a of_o goodness_n when_o i_o expect_v thou_o to_o come_v next_o day_n meditat._n xxvi_o lord_n now_o i_o do_v resolve_v to_o serve_v thou_o and_o in_o this_o particular_a especial_o i_o will_v not_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o
carnal_a motive_n be_v a_o poor_a thing_n lord_n how_o be_o i_o distract_v and_o tear_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o thought_n nay_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o go_v with_o these_o burden_n on_o my_o soul_n do_v whatever_o seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o i_o may_v but_o drudge_n in_o thy_o house_n though_o i_o lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o to_o be_v a_o scullion_n in_o thy_o house_n be_v better_a than_o to_o sit_v at_o the_o table_n of_o prince_n lord_n i_o be_o undo_v except_o thou_o work_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n yet_o if_o i_o be_o undo_v it_o may_v be_v before_o thou_o give_v i_o over_o and_o discover_v i_o to_o the_o world_n thou_o will_v let_v i_o do_v something_o more_o that_o i_o may_v glorify_v thou_o and_o edify_v the_o people_n nay_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o may_v suffer_v i_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v to_o do_v much_o of_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v glory_n lord_n if_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o upright_o yet_o o_o that_o my_o action_n and_o my_o preach_n may_v be_v such_o that_o man_n see_v and_o hear_v they_o may_v be_v stir_v up_o to_o glorify_v thou_o by_o do_v those_o thing_n sincere_o which_o ay_o it_o may_v be_v do_v out_o of_o hypocrisy_n i_o be_o sure_a too_o much_o hypocrisy_n lord_n i_o have_v beg_v for_o such_o a_o heart_n as_o may_v not_o deceive_v i_o nor_o dishonour_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v nay_o lord_n what_o will_v thou_o do_v i_o be_o undo_v unless_o thou_o do_v work_v mighty_o above_o all_o that_o i_o can_v speak_v or_o think_v according_a to_o that_o mighty_a power_n wherewith_o thou_o do_v raise_v the_o lord_n from_o the_o dead_a o_o that_o i_o may_v be_v so_o raise_v that_o i_o may_v return_v no_o more_o to_o corruption_n medit._fw-la xlvi_o by_o this_o i_o know_v and_o be_o sensible_a it_o be_v not_o for_o any_o man_n to_o live_v by_o his_o own_o strength_n by_o my_o know_v how_o impossible_a it_o be_v for_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o recover_v without_o thou_o if_o a_o live_a man_n can_v speak_v how_o can_v a_o condemn_a man_n live_v without_o thou_o if_o live_v bone_n can_v move_v how_o can_v dry_a bone_n live_v lord_n thou_o meet_v i_o not_o at_o duty_n thou_o speak_v not_o to_o i_o there_o thou_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o mercy_n and_o i_o answer_v not_o in_o judgement_n and_o i_o carry_v myself_o as_o a_o sleepy_a man_n that_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v awake_v what_o will_v thou_o do_v with_o i_o lord_n when_o i_o will_v neither_o speak_v to_o thou_o nor_o answer_v thou_o when_o thou_o speak_v o_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o grace_n and_o the_o power_n of_o thy_o mercy_n those_o sin_n i_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o commit_v thou_o have_v take_v from_o i_o the_o opportunity_n to_o commit_v it_o be_v a_o comfort_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o opportunity_n but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a comfort_n not_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n a_o instance_n according_a to_o the_o rule_v give_v for_o meditate_v on_o the_o scripture_n a_o meditation_n on_o these_o word_n isa_n 66._o 2._o but_o to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v even_o to_o he_o that_o be_v poor_a and_o of_o a_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n let_v we_o serious_o consider_v o_o my_o soul_n that_o if_o a_o angel_n or_o god_n himself_o from_o heaven_n have_v speak_v these_o word_n in_o our_o hear_n as_o once_o christ_n do_v to_o paul_n when_o he_o be_v go_v to_o damascus_n sure_o i_o think_v they_o will_v have_v very_o much_o affect_v we_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n less_o his_o word_n because_o it_o be_v write_v i_o read_v that_o the_o apostle_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 17_o 18_o 19_o speak_v of_o a_o voice_n that_o he_o himself_o hear_v from_o heaven_n say_v that_o he_o have_v a_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v no_o less_o sure_a that_o the_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n be_v the_o very_a word_n of_o god_n than_o those_o that_o he_o hear_v with_o his_o ear_n then_o lâ—t_v we_o not_o be_v less_o affect_v with_o these_o word_n then_o if_o we_o ourselves_o have_v hear_v god_n himself_o speak_v they_o 2._o nor_o let_v we_o think_v that_o they_o less_o concern_v we_o then_o if_o we_o have_v earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o tell_v we_o what_o he_o will_v have_v we_o to_o be_v &_o do_v and_o as_o a_o answer_n of_o our_o prayer_n we_o have_v hear_v he_o speak_v to_o we_o from_o heaven_n in_o particular_a to_o this_o man_n will_v i_o look_v that_o be_v of_o a_o poor_a and_o contrite_a spirit_n and_o tremble_v at_o my_o word_n for_o doubtless_o god_n have_v not_o cause_v his_o word_n to_o be_v write_v in_o vain_a at_o a_o venture_n for_o whosoever_o shall_v read_v it_o but_o know_v not_o who_o they_o be_v shall_v read_v it_o but_o he_o know_v every_o particular_a person_n to_o who_o hand_n his_o word_n shall_v come_v and_o know_v his_o word_n shall_v come_v to_o my_o hand_n and_o i_o shall_v read_v these_o weary_a word_n and_o therefore_o cause_v they_o to_o be_v write_v in_o particular_a for_o my_o sake_n though_o not_o exclusive_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o his_o people_n yet_o paul_n say_v that_o he_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n do_v think_v particular_o of_o paul_n and_o so_o of_o every_o one_o else_o for_o who_o he_o die_v and_o give_v himself_o up_o as_o a_o sacrifice_n and_o ransom_n particular_o think_v on_o and_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o his_o death_n if_o a_o minister_n shall_v go_v to_o one_o that_o be_v give_v to_o swear_v and_o tell_v he_o of_o the_o heinousness_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o lay_v it_o home_o to_o his_o conscience_n in_o private_a it_o general_o do_v affect_v he_o more_o than_o to_o hear_v the_o same_o sin_n reprove_v in_o public_a yet_o he_o shall_v as_o particular_o apply_v it_o then_o though_o he_o have_v not_o in_o this_o respect_n so_o much_o reason_n to_o apply_v it_o as_o i_o have_v to_o apply_v these_o word_n to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o the_o minister_n do_v not_o nor_o can_v actual_o and_o particular_o intend_v every_o one_o that_o be_v guilty_a of_o the_o sin_n he_o reprove_v for_o he_o know_v not_o every_o particular_a person_n that_o be_v guilty_a of_o the_o sin_n he_o reprove_v as_o god_n do_v every_o one_o that_o read_v his_o word_n therefore_o let_v we_o take_v this_o and_o apply_v it_o to_o ourselves_o as_o if_o god_n have_v send_v these_o word_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n to_o we_o in_o particular_a when_o it_o be_v say_v that_o the_o scripture_n be_v write_v for_o our_o learning_n etc._n etc._n rom._n 15._o 4._o i_o conceive_v the_o meaning_n be_v not_o only_o by_o way_n of_o sufficiency_n but_o by_o way_n of_o intention_n efficacy_n &_o decree_n in_o resgect_n of_o his_o people_n that_o be_v not_o only_o that_o there_o be_v a_o sufficient_a matter_n in_o scripture_n to_o instruct_v we_o but_o that_o god_n do_v intend_v and_o decree_n that_o this_o place_n of_o scripture_n shall_v instruct_v every_o particular_a one_o of_o his_o people_n that_o be_v instruct_v by_o it_o 3._o and_o indeed_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n that_o i_o now_o read_v these_o word_n and_o do_v now_o intend_v to_o meditate_v on_o they_o be_v it_o not_o or_o certain_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v that_o i_o shall_v try_v whether_o i_o be_o such_o or_o whether_o i_o have_v such_o a_o heart_n and_o spirit_n as_o these_o word_n signify_v and_o if_o i_o be_o not_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v that_o i_o shall_v humble_v myself_o and_o be_v as_o true_o sensible_a and_o as_o much_o affect_v and_o much_o more_o than_o i_o be_o with_o those_o bodily_a infirmity_n that_o lie_v upon_o i_o and_o if_o so_o be_v there_o be_v a_o receipt_n give_v i_o which_o i_o have_v a_o long_a time_n seek_v for_o and_o endeavour_v to_o get_v be_v assure_v that_o if_o i_o have_v it_o it_o will_v cure_v i_o sure_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o read_v it_o because_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tell_v other_o what_o will_v cure_v such_o a_o disease_n or_o to_o enable_v myself_o to_o discourse_n of_o that_o matter_n but_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o with_o abundance_n of_o joy_n and_o unquestionable_a resolution_n to_o take_v it_o alas_o lord_n why_o do_v i_o not_o read_v thy_o word_n so_o also_o where_o the_o unquestionable_a remedy_n of_o all_o spiritual_a disease_n be_v set_v down_o sure_o it_o be_v my_o senselesness_n of_o the_o mischief_n of_o these_o spiritual_a distemper_n that_o make_v i_o so_o little_o affect_v with_o grief_n for_o they_o and_o with_o joy_n that_o i_o have_v find_v out_o the_o remedy_n for_o they_o 4._o
the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n and_o thy_o free_a grace_n in_o jesus_n christ_n to_o fly_v unto_o lord_n lay_v my_o sin_n home_o to_o i_o to_o humble_v i_o and_o to_o break_v my_o stony_a heart_n but_o lay_v they_o not_o to_o my_o charge_n to_o condemn_v i_o if_o thou_o have_v not_o in_o thy_o word_n promise_v forgiveness_n to_o sinner_n through_o jesus_n christ_n i_o can_v no_o more_o hope_n to_o obtain_v pardon_n than_o ever_o the_o devil_n themselves_o resolution_n it_o be_v enough_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o too_o too_o much_o that_o we_o have_v be_v undo_v ourselves_o and_o provoke_a god_n thus_o long_o that_o we_o have_v as_o it_o be_v with_o all_o our_o power_n pull_v down_o the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n upon_o we_o and_o as_o it_o be_v kindle_v his_o wrath_n against_o we_o but_o he_o have_v not_o suffer_v his_o whole_a displeasure_n to_o arise_v nor_o suffer_v we_o to_o perish_v though_o we_o will_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n that_o we_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o we_o certain_o have_v do_v have_v he_o give_v we_o up_o to_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o corruption_n and_o to_o the_o power_n and_o malice_n of_o satan_n to_o improve_v they_o to_o our_o destruction_n be_v it_o true_a indeed_o that_o god_n say_v yet_o return_v and_o i_o will_v save_v thou_o do_v he_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n do_v he_o indeed_o stand_v with_o stretch_a out_o arm_n to_o embrace_v we_o be_v it_o possible_a he_o shall_v be_v so_o gracious_a to_o forgive_v such_o and_o so_o many_o sin_n and_o of_o such_o long_a continuance_n well_o bless_a be_v god_n we_o will_v go_v unto_o he_o and_o never_o offend_v he_o more_o we_o will_v hereafter_o whensoever_o we_o be_v tempt_v unto_o sin_n say_v what_o sin_n against_o such_o love_n such_o mercy_n such_o experience_n offend_v that_o god_n that_o have_v pardon_v we_o that_o have_v do_v such_o thing_n for_o we_o and_o be_v not_o content_a with_o that_o but_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v more_o i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o stand_v parly_v with_o temptation_n but_o i_o will_v cry_v out_o unto_o god_n and_o say_v lord_n help_v i_o for_o i_o suffer_v violence_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o be_o in_o some_o measure_n sensible_a that_o i_o pray_v not_o with_o that_o fervency_n and_o reverénce_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o do_v for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v i_o shall_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n mend_v that_o i_o be_o too_o passionate_a well_o since_o god_n have_v be_v so_o gracious_a as_o to_o forgive_v so_o many_o so_o great_a so_o grievous_a sin_n that_o my_o own_o heart_n be_v not_o able_a to_o understand_v their_o vileness_n or_o number_n i_o will_v not_o hereafter_o be_v trouble_v when_o i_o hear_v my_o neighbour_n or_o underling_n or_o when_o i_o hear_v my_o fellow_n n._n use_v such_o or_o such_o taunt_a word_n against_o i_o i_o will_v not_o be_v provoke_v by_o this_o or_o that_o despite_n or_o contemptuous_a trick_n that_o he_o or_o she_o do_v use_v against_o i_o but_o rather_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o say_v or_o do_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o gain_v his_o good_a will_n and_o to_o pacify_v his_o anger_n conceive_v against_o i_o for_o certain_o his_o injury_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o god_n forgive_v i_o they_o there_o be_v a_o difference_n between_o i._o n._n and_o i_o i_o be_o resolve_v i_o will_v go_v to_o he_o and_o be_v reconcile_v this_o very_a day_n or_o if_o i_o can_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o and_o speak_v well_o of_o he_o this_o very_a day_n if_o i_o have_v occasion_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o at_o all_o howsoever_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o he_o now_o conclusion_n 1._o pray_v desire_v god_n that_o he_o will_v increase_v thy_o detestation_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v as_o well_o hate_v sin_n as_o leave_v sin_n and_o that_o he_o will_v not_o let_v any_o spark_n that_o have_v be_v kindle_v by_o his_o own_o spirit_n go_v out_o in_o thou_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o beg_v riches_n i_o can_v go_v to_o heaven_n without_o they_o please_v thou_o without_o they_o but_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o grace_n and_o strength_n against_o corruption_n pardon_v of_o sin_n if_o thou_o deny_v i_o these_o i_o be_o undo_v 2._o praise_v god_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n that_o my_o heart_n have_v be_v in_o any_o measure_n affect_v with_o the_o hatred_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v in_o any_o measure_n know_v and_o consider_v the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o my_o peace_n thou_o may_v have_v suffer_v i_o to_o drop_v into_o hell_n and_o never_o to_o have_v think_v of_o it_o before_o i_o have_v be_v there_o but_o thou_o have_v not_o deal_v so_o with_o i_o 3._o acknowledge_v thy_o one_o unworthiness_n of_o so_o great_a patience_n as_o god_n have_v exercise_v towards_o thou_o thy_o inability_n to_o think_v any_o of_o those_o good_a thought_n that_o thou_o have_v have_v etc._n etc._n as_o in_o the_o first_o meditation_n after_o all_o think_v what_o passage_n most_o affect_v thou_o 2._o write_v down_o thy_o resolution_n etc._n etc._n 3._o go_v unwilling_o from_o the_o duty_n meditat._n iv._o of_o death_n 1._o be_v convince_v of_o and_o affect_v with_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n 2._o pray_v for_o his_o assistance_n consideration_n 1._o can_v thou_o not_o remember_v that_o thou_o be_v by_o such_o a_o one_o when_o he_o die_v do_v thou_o not_o see_v how_o his_o countenance_n fail_v his_o eyestring_n break_v how_o he_o grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a at_o last_o grow_v speechless_a how_o he_o throttle_v in_o the_o throat_n how_o his_o tooth_n grate_v how_o he_o sweat_v and_o struggle_v for_o life_n and_o at_o last_o gasp_v and_o die_v consider_v that_o thus_o thou_o must_v do_v likewise_o how_o soon_o the_o lord_n only_o know_v that_o thou_o be_v well_o now_o be_v nothing_o that_o thou_o be_v young_a and_o strong_a now_o be_v nothing_o for_o how_o many_o be_v there_o that_o have_v be_v strong_a and_o well_o and_o as_o young_a as_o thou_o within_o a_o very_a few_o day_n after_o have_v be_v in_o their_o grave_n that_o thou_o must_v die_v be_v certain_a when_o where_o how_o none_o know_v but_o he_o that_o make_v thou_o only_o this_o be_v true_a that_o general_o man_n die_v soon_o than_o they_o expect_v 2._o consider_v that_o there_o will_v be_v a_o end_n of_o the_o world_n as_o to_o thou_o thou_o must_v leave_v riches_n friend_n wife_n child_n house_n land_n and_o thy_o one_o body_n also_o thy_o friend_n may_v stand_v weep_v by_o but_o they_o can_v prolong_v thy_o life_n one_o minute_n 3._o consider_v that_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o die_v it_o will_v certain_o not_o repent_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n in_o prayer_n so_o much_o in_o meditation_n so_o much_o in_o holy_a duty_n it_o be_v never_o know_v since_o the_o world_n begin_v that_o any_o one_o do_v then_o say_v o_o that_o i_o have_v pray_v less_o though_o these_o holy_a duty_n now_o seem_v irksome_a and_o troublesome_a to_o thou_o doubtless_o than_o they_o shall_v bring_v more_o comfort_n to_o thou_o than_o all_o those_o riches_n and_o vanity_n in_o which_o thou_o have_v spend_v so_o much_o time_n and_o take_v so_o much_o delight_n in_o these_o thing_n be_v certain_a and_o infallible_a our_o understanding_n can_v o_o that_o our_o life_n do_v not_o deny_v they_o consider_v how_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o world_n will_v hasten_v thy_o filthy_a carcase_n out_o of_o the_o door_n they_o will_v scarce_o dare_v to_o stay_v with_o it_o alone_o but_o say_v as_o abraham_n do_v let_v i_o bury_v my_o dead_a out_o of_o my_o sight_n and_o then_o how_o seldom_o will_v they_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o thou_o or_o if_o they_o do_v what_o good_a will_v it_o do_v thou_o 5._o consider_v alas_o poor_a man_n whether_o will_v thy_o soul_n go_v then_o to_o hell_n or_o to_o heaven_n do_v thou_o know_v to_o which_o do_v thou_o not_o think_v thou_o shall_v go_v that_o way_n which_o thou_o have_v go_v all_o thy_o life_n long_o if_o thou_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o hell_n how_o can_v thou_o imagine_v that_o at_o the_o end_n of_o that_o journey_n thou_o shall_v arrive_v at_o heaven_n 6._o consider_v what_o good_a will_v all_o thy_o wealth_n all_o thy_o pleasure_n all_o thy_o vanity_n do_v thou_o at_o that_o day_n they_o will_v all_o vanish_v as_o do_v the_o morning_n dew_n alas_o who_o know_v not_o all_o these_o thing_n and_o yet_o not_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o consider_v and_o lay_v they_o to_o heart_n and_o to_o know_v these_o truth_n &_o live_v unsuitable_o to_o they_o do_v but_o add_v to_o our_o folly_n &_o madness_n o_o that_o they_o be_v wise_a say_v god_n
man_n what_o injury_n soever_o he_o do_v i_o now_o i_o will_v so_o watch_v over_o my_o word_n that_o i_o will_v not_o offend_v with_o my_o tongue_n and_o that_o by_o degree_n i_o may_v attain_v some_o perfection_n herein_o i_o here_o vow_v every_o week_n between_o this_o and_o the_o next_o communion_n to_o keep_v one_o day_n so_o strict_o that_o i_o will_v not_o during_o that_o day_n speak_v so_o much_o as_o one_o idle_a word_n that_o day_n if_o i_o do_v i_o will_v give_v to_o the_o poor_a lord_n how_o excellent_a be_v thy_o service_n so_o pure_a so_o sweet_a o_o that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o heart_n in_o i_o that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o serve_v thou_o meditat._v xxvii_o when_o i_o read_v the_o story_n of_o the_o martyr_n i_o do_v wish_v that_o i_o have_v live_v in_o those_o day_n that_o i_o may_v also_o die_v as_o they_o do_v or_o methinks_v i_o can_v now_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n rather_o than_o yield_v to_o the_o abominable_a idolatry_n and_o superstition_n of_o the_o sea_n of_o rome_n but_o when_o i_o search_v &_o try_v my_o heart_n i_o much_o fear_v that_o the_o reason_n of_o this_o my_o desire_n be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o easy_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n sake_n then_o for_o his_o sake_n to_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o it_o be_v but_o one_o act_n though_o it_o have_v more_o pain_n yet_o be_v but_o of_o small_a continuance_n it_o be_v less_o trouble_n than_o all_o my_o life_n long_o to_o fight_v against_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o do_v ill_a even_o in_o my_o best_a wish_n in_o divers_a respect_n for_o i_o choose_v martyrdom_n not_o because_o thereby_o i_o may_v more_o honour_n god_n but_o that_o i_o may_v the_o soon_o and_o easy_o come_v to_o heaven_n and_o again_o that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v content_v myself_o though_o i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o hate_v corruption_n if_o i_o die_v a_o martyr_n all_o will_v be_v well_o whereas_o though_o i_o give_v my_o body_n to_o be_v burn_v and_o have_v not_o charity_n it_o will_v profit_v nothing_o and_o to_o love_n god_n it_o be_v impossible_a for_o he_o that_o do_v not_o hate_n and_o fight_v against_o his_o corruption_n alas_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o weary_a be_v we_o of_o our_o spiritual_a fight_n and_o we_o will_v fain_o find_v some_o other_o way_n to_o heaven_n then_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o it_o o_o that_o i_o be_v dead_a to_o the_o world_n yet_o while_o we_o know_v something_o better_o we_o shall_v not_o think_v so_o we_o talk_v much_o of_o the_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n but_o who_o believe_v that_o the_o world_n be_v vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n or_o who_o be_v sensible_a of_o this_o truth_n or_o if_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o sometime_o affect_v with_o it_o yet_o it_o soon_o wanish_v and_o we_o do_v not_o live_v according_o how_o much_o easy_a be_v it_o to_o speak_v like_o a_o angel_n then_o live_v like_o a_o saint_n meditat._n xxviii_o lord_n that_o thou_o will_v do_v it_o for_o i_o take_v my_o soul_n and_o my_o body_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v with_o they_o any_o long_o i_o govern_v they_o so_o ill_o and_o indeed_o be_o so_o unable_a to_o govern_v they_o that_o they_o govern_v i_o lord_n if_o thou_o shall_v condemn_v i_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o do_v now_o justify_v thou_o and_o testify_v to_o all_o the_o world_n that_o thou_o be_v just_a though_o then_o if_o such_o a_o time_n shall_v come_v i_o shall_v blaspheme_v thou_o my_o dear_a god_n i_o have_v yet_o a_o spark_n of_o thy_o love_n i_o will_v not_o leave_v that_o small_a hold_n of_o thou_o for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o know_v lord_n there_o be_v no_o dally_v with_o thou_o what_o if_o i_o speak_v with_o the_o tongue_n and_o write_v with_o the_o pen_n of_o man_n and_o angel_n it_o be_v nothing_o lord_n take_v a_o poor_a soul_n at_o his_o word_n lord_n i_o be_o thou_o and_o do_v now_o give_v myself_o and_o ten_o thousand_o world_n if_o i_o have_v they_o to_o thou_o yet_o when_o thou_o do_v take_v from_o i_o some_o poor_a part_n of_o my_o estate_n i_o murmur_v alas_o i_o have_v a_o poor_a weak_a heart_n meditat._v xxix_o lord_n my_o knowledge_n of_o thou_o be_v but_o small_a and_o that_o which_o be_v be_v but_o little_a spiritual_a or_o experimental_a to_o know_v thou_o by_o what_o other_o write_v and_o say_v of_o thou_o be_v sweet_a to_o they_o that_o can_v set_v their_o seal_n to_o it_o from_o their_o own_o experience_n lord_n what_o be_v it_o that_o have_v keep_v i_o so_o long_o from_o thou_o or_o keep_v thou_o so_o long_o from_o i_o i_o know_v that_o i_o have_v be_v want_v to_o thou_o and_o to_o myself_o lord_n take_v my_o heart_n i_o have_v too_o much_o love_n for_o any_o beside_o thou_o though_o i_o have_v too_o little_a for_o thou_o oh_o how_o sweet_a be_v the_o thought_n of_o thou_o and_o will_v be_v sweet_a if_o i_o think_v often_o and_o long_o and_o more_o attentive_o of_o thou_o alas_o i_o be_o almost_o grow_v out_o of_o acquaintance_n with_o thou_o i_o do_v not_o perceive_v my_o corruption_n in_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o in_o this_o that_o though_o to_o think_v of_o thou_o be_v a_o thing_n so_o easy_a and_o so_o profitable_a yet_o i_o think_v so_o seldom_o my_o dear_a god_n deliver_v i_o from_o the_o business_n of_o the_o world_n suit_n of_o law_n and_o such_o thing_n they_o undo_v i_o they_o take_v up_o my_o thought_n that_o i_o can_v be_v rid_v of_o they_o i_o feel_v upon_o i_o the_o curse_n which_o thou_o threaten_v upon_o the_o people_n of_o israel_n if_o they_o will_v not_o serve_v thou_o with_o joy_n they_o shall_v serve_v stranger_n with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hardship_n i_o be_v well_o while_o i_o be_v with_o thou_o than_o i_o have_v my_o song_n in_o the_o night_n now_o my_o day_n be_v turn_v into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n lord_n draw_v i_o draw_v i_o make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o love_n strong_a or_o rather_o than_o i_o shall_v perish_v make_v the_o cord_n of_o thy_o affliction_n strong_a and_o if_o i_o murmur_v scourge_v i_o while_o i_o leave_v murmur_v how_o true_a do_v i_o find_v that_o say_n he_o that_o injure_v forgive_v not_o my_o wickedness_n i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o make_v i_o not_o able_a to_o believe_v almost_o that_o thou_o be_v or_o can_v be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o shall_v do_v more_o for_o thou_o and_o less_o against_o thou_o i_o shall_v easy_o believe_v thy_o love_n or_o rather_o when_o thy_o spirit_n shall_v shed_v abroad_o thy_o love_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o shall_v know_v thou_o love_v i_o i_o sigh_v and_o mourn_v and_o weep_v over_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o can_v help_v it_o dear_a lord_n let_v my_o tear_n prevail_v with_o thou_o pity_v pity_n have_v pity_n upon_o a_o poor_a languish_a soul_n that_o be_v even_o gasp_v out_o his_o last_o breath_n it_o grieve_v i_o to_o see_v what_o a_o sad_a condition_n i_o be_o in_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o in_o hell_n and_o by_o thy_o mercy_n i_o may_v never_o come_v thither_o but_o i_o be_o run_v thither_o woe_n be_v i_o that_o i_o be_o constrain_v to_o live_v in_o mesech_n and_o to_o have_v my_o habitation_n in_o the_o tent_n of_o kedar_n meditat._v xxx_o lord_n i_o pray_v for_o mercy_n and_o when_o i_o have_v they_o to_o see_v the_o unsuitableness_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o they_o and_o my_o unthankfulness_n for_o they_o bring_v more_o sadness_n upon_o i_o then_o to_o want_v they_o all_o the_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o thou_o for_o temporal_a mercy_n both_o in_o carry_v i_o forth_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o and_o concern_v my_o business_n i_o go_v about_o not_o find_v thing_n in_o such_o a_o sad_a condition_n at_o home_n yet_o my_o poor_a heart_n be_v the_o same_o still_o and_o be_v as_o hard_o and_o as_o stony_a not_o willing_a to_o yield_v itself_o and_o all_o up_o to_o thou_o as_o if_o i_o be_v more_o able_a to_o order_v matter_n than_o thou_o now_o my_o heart_n be_v subject_a to_o murmur_v that_o it_o be_v so_o hard_a when_o it_o shall_v mourn_v lord_n thou_o have_v do_v enough_o to_o justify_v thy_o love_n and_o thy_o tender_a compassion_n to_o i_o if_o thou_o shall_v never_o do_v more_o and_o not_o only_o thy_o justice_n can_v not_o be_v blame_v but_o not_o thy_o mercy_n medit._fw-la xxxi_o accept_v of_o my_o poor_a prayer_n and_o when_o at_o the_o last_o day_n when_o the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n shall_v be_v know_v the_o hypocrisy_n and_o cold_a and_o my_o desire_n shall_v be_v know_v and_o thy_o goodness_n shall_v be_v admire_v in_o hear_v such_o prayer_n as_o i_o be_v for_o the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n to_o shine_v upon_o and_o the_o breathe_n