them to repent of whatever had provoked him to so heavy displeasure that their dross being consumed in the furnace of Affliction he would chuse them to himself break the Iron Yoak from off their Necks bound on so close by the hand of proud and cruel persecuting Tyranny that being fitted for it they might once more be intrusted with their Civil and Religious Liberties and be gathered home from all the Countries into which they are scatter'd to their own Land in Peace and Safety and never forfeit it again But with more ardent Zeal if more be possible did she pray for the Peace of our own Jerusalem and wrestle with God to render these Nations fit for Mercy for though she had a grateful sense of vouchsafed Deliverances yet when hopes were gayest and affairs most promising she was full of Fears and Expectations of impending and approaching Judgments and would often yea very often say for out of the abundance of her Heart her Mouth spake That if we traced God's footsteps in the Scriptures he must change his usual methods if he took not Vengeance of so provoking a Nation which would not be healed but in the midst of so many changes would not be changed from open Profaneness mutual Hatreds and scorning and opposing serious Holiness and solid Religion and the power of Godliness Good Lord avert from her survivors what she so reasonably feared and thou hast freed her from the feeling of The Righteous are taken away from the Evil to come The rest of this Day she spent as others are described and so the rest till Friday the Weekly memorial of our Saviour's Passion On this after some necessary Family Affairs dispatch'd she constantly retired and spent it alone in religious Fasting The House of Levy apart and their Wives apart Zach. xij 13. And remembring who had blamed exacting all their labours on a fasting Day Isa lviij 3. she gave her Maids that day to work for themselves to read or spend more time in Prayer if they had hearts to doe it And if she foresaw any unavoidable diversion as being from home or Strangers to come to us she would prudently prevent the loss of that Day by chusing one before which might afford her the best vacancy And though I confess she usually set but one day in a week apart when I was at home I have been since her death informed both by those in my Family and by her Diary that in my absence she spent two three yea and more days in a week so I add no more concerning her Week but her awakened remembring on the last day of it the approaching Sabbath and solemn preparing to meet the Lord of the Day on that day of our Lord whose presence I comfortably believe she now enjoys in a continual Sabbath everlasting Rest And this is the second Edition of her Life's Epitome how she spent every Week SECT VIII How she spent a Year I Next proceed to give account how she us'd to spend a Year in the larger Revolution whereof there occurred many things which fell not within the narrower compass of a Day or Week nor all precisely into that circle taken strictly and with rigour yet are fairly reducible to that Head Many of her Years which consisted of such Days and Weeks as above described being fill'd up with her prudent holy submissive Deportment under and godly Improvement she made of such Circumstances and Conditions of Life as these that follow many yearly at least often 1. Her most endearing Affections and obliging Observance as a Wife to my self 2. Her Lyings-in in Child-bearing 3. The Baptizing of our Children 4. Care and Methods of their Education 5. Monthly Sacraments 6. Of her Writings 7. Discreet Management of Family 8. Visitations by Sickness on our selves or Children and some of their Deaths 9. Renewed assaults of her Enemy by Temptation 10. A Catalogue of her Friends she used to pray for 11 Some trying troubles on the Nation on Friends or Family Signal Deliverances from Dangers 12. Going to Tunbridge-Wells 13. Keeping our Wedding-Day Entertainments of Friends 14. Marriage of our onely Daughter Her death in Child-bed the same Year yet leaving a Son 15. Acts and kinds of her great Charity 16. Care to advance God's Glory and Salvation of others 17. Several Graces in which she was most eminent 18. Her Character All which If I should pursue not in an historical Narrative of them that 's neither my design nor business but in her glorifying God in them and making a spiritual Improvement and Advantage of them and to teach others how to doe the like I might write a Volume of them from the wise pertinent and holy Memoirs her Pen hath left me and my own observation and memory would supply me with My greatest labour therefore here will be to contract and I must leave out much of that which my own Judgment tells me if my Affection do not greatly bribe and flatter me might not only be passable but very exemplary and usefull I might have added more particulars and set them in better order and not blended so promicuously together Heavenly and Earthly Spiritual and Secular Concerns But it matters not they both come within the compass of my design to shew how good she was in all relations and conditions she was Mary and Martha both unto perfection and acted Martha's part with Mary's Spirit SECT IX Her Character as a Wife I Should be too ungratefull to her Memory should I not begin with the endearing Affections and obliging Observance she always paid me as an Husband on which Subject it is impossible to exceed or Hyperbolize though Love should render so dull a Pen Eloquent if that be not an impossible supposition Our mutual compellation was always my Dear not a word of coarse or empty Compliment but the sincere interpretation of the Language of our Hearts All my concerns were nearer to her than those which were immediately her own were I in any sort afflicted she would with Passion wish she could exempt me from it by bearing it her self Whatever toucht my Reputation Peace or Saftety toucht her in the most sensible and tender part I could give two most trying Instances of Envy and Malice but I lay my Finger on both those Sores that it may appear blessed be God's Grace I am guided by a better Spirit than to revive the memory of what we both so heartily forgave and so oft and earnestly jointly and severally have begged of God both to forget and pardon unto those who by their present Passions were hurried so far as to afford us the tryal and exercise of Christian Fortitude and Patience and so meek yea generous a Charity as I would not stand in need of from any Man for all the World On both these occasions how did she comfort me how did she counsel me to commit my innocent Cause to God assuring me he would not fail to plead and defend it and bring forth my Innocence as
other Blessed be my gracious God for his great Kindness to me in them both After Three Years continuance in that Family upon the Death of Dr. Read my Lord presented my Dear to Fyfield in Essex a competent good Living and Subsistence blessed be God for it Good Lord crown his Ministry there with the Success of the Conversion and Bringing in their Souls to the Obedience and Knowledge of Jesus Christ Give him abundance of the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and store his Heart with the Treasuries of thy heavenly Truths and continue my Dear Husband a faithfull painfull able Labourer in thy Vineyard If what I have thus far touch'd may savour of any Vanity the modesty of what I have past over may excuse the Errour at least to them who may see the Original Manuscript Now to return to her of whom I write she proceeds I was Born at London in Bucklersbury on Thursday the 12th of July in the Year of our Lord 1623 and Baptized the 20th Day of the same Month. The Lord vouchsafing me a reception into the visible Church of Jesus Christ when he most justly might have suffered no Eye to pity me but have cast me out to the loathing of my Person in my original Defilement and Stains of my sinfull Nature But to my first admittance good Lord enable me to ascend that being a Member of thy Church militant here on Earth I may attain to be one of thy Church triumphant in Heaven My Dear Father was Mr. John Sadler a very Eminent Citizen and of a most generous loving and charitable Disposition and a most tender Father to me and a kind Father-in-Law to my Husband He was born at Stratford upon Avon in Warwickshire where his Ancestors lived My Grandfather had a good Estate in and about the Town He was of a free and noble Spirit which somewhat out-reach'd his Estate but not given to any Debauchery I ever heard of My Father's Mother was a very wise pious and a good Woman and lived and died a good Christian My Father had no Brother but three Sisters who were all eminently Wise and good Women especially his youngest Sister who married my Father's Partner in Trade a religious good Man In process of time my Father was desired to change his single estate accordingly a Match was provided for him but he by God's Providence approved not of it His Father then provided him good Clothes good Horse and Money in his Purse and sent him to make his Addresses to a Gentlewoman in that Country But he considering well how difficult a married Condition was like to prove his Father having reduced his Estate from about 400 l. a Year to 80. His own Prudence but especially God's good Providence over-ruling his mind instead of going a Wooing he join'd himself to the Carrier and came to London where he had never been before and sold his Horse in Smithfield and having no Acquaintance in London to recommend him or assist him he went from Street to Street and House to House asking if they wanted an Apprentice and though he met with many discouraging Scorns and a thousand denials he went on till he light on Mr. Brokes bank a Grocer in Bucklersbury who though he long denied him for want of Sureties for his Fidelity and because the Money he had but Ten Pounds was so disproportionable to what he used to receive with Apprentices yet upon his discreet account he gave of himself and the Motives which put him upon that Course and promise to compensate with diligent and faithfull Service what ever else was short of his Expectation he ventured to receive him upon Trial in which he so well approved himself that he accepted him into his Service to which he bound him for Eight Years to which he willingly submitted though he was then full Twenty-one Years old and there he served a faithfull and laborious Apprenticeship but much liked of his Master and Mistress And after served him Five Years Journey-man they not being willing to part with him In which time he had his Master's leave to Trade for himself in Drugs and Tabacco by which he left Grocery and was by Trade a Druggist in London And by that Profession God bless'd my dear Father with a very plentifull and good Estate with which God gave him a bountifull Mind and liberal Heart to doe much good to his Relations and others My Dear Mother Mrs. Elizabeth Sadler was the Daughter of Mr. Dackum sometimes Minister of Portsmouth Also my Grandmother Dackum was a very wise and prudent Woman In my Infancy I was very sickly and of a weakly Constitution Blessed be God for the Love and Care of Parents and Friends in my Childhood Estate She was her Parents first Born after Five Years Marriage and despair of having Children which rendred them exceeding tender of her and yet was she well nigh starved at Nurse at Lusam in Kent For though her Parents sent so bountifully besides the Nurses Wages as might near maintain the Family yet have they found the Meat they sent ready to stink for want of dressing In my fuller Age I was of a pensive Nature God saw it good that I should bear the yoak in my Youth but I did not consider the hand that put it on When I was Young the Lord was pleased to deliver me from many Casualties After naming them she always concludes with Praises Blessed be his preventing Mercy Blessed be God that preserved me in that danger And such like If St. Augustin's confessing of his robbing an Orchard be so much approved why may not I touch so small a thing as I meet with here which shews the tenderness of her Spirit When I was a Child my Mother would send me where she less trusted my Sisters In what I might fail I cannot call to mind but I remember she sent me where she kept her Apples they suited my childish Appetite I took one I could not keep it but thought I had stole it I went back unlock'd the Door but with some regret laid down the Apple Blessed be restraining Grace But I must pass over a great many things for brevity which might be usefull unto others and are very pleasant to my self in reading for the savory sense of pious Gratitude which all along breaths in them yet I will not hide the greatest fault I ever knew her guilty of in my own observation or find her charge her self with either in her Book or Diary Having written many things which I pass by and last concerning the burning of her Father's House she thus proceeds About half a year after the Fire which was when she was about Thirteen or Fourteen years old my Father had a great fit of sickness which held him a quarter of a year and in great danger of Death In which time of his sickness I poor wretched Creature through a sudden surprise and provocation spoke a wicked word to a superior of which my Father was informed and most
Jesus in Sincerity she loved the Lord her God with all her Heart and all her Soul with all her Might and all her Strength and her Neighbour as herself She would speak evil of no Man do evil to no Man but did all the good she could as she had opportunity especially to the Houshold of Faith And though she loved the whole World with a love of Benevolence she loved those chosen out of the World with a Love of Complacency She had a peculiar Esteem of and Affection for God's People Her choice delight was in the Saints and those who excelled in Vertue She was not ashamed to be accounted their Sister whom Christ was not ashamed to call his Brethren the Profession but much more the power of Godliness was so far from being terminus Diminuens an abatement of her value and kindness that it much endeared those to her in whom she found it and fastened those Bonds more strongly which had been tyed by Nature Neighbourhood or Friendly Conversation I excuse not the length of this Section it being not easy to write too much of that of which she never thought she practised enough though she had as it were habituated it into her Constitution it being as the Element in which she lived SECT XXIV Of her Care to advance God's Glory and the Salvation of Souls I have so far prevented my self in both those in what I have already written of her that scarce any thing remains to be farther added anew concerning them and I confess it seems to my self somewhat improper to make a distinct Section of what is the Subject of the whole The Care to promote those was as the Spinal Marrow in the Body yea as the Soul which animated the whole as the Pith which ascends from the Root of a Tree through the Trunk to every Branch and Twig She set the Lord continually before her had respect to him in all her Thoughts and Words and Actions and reveered his Presence in all her Natural Moral Civil and Religious Performances Seeing him that was Invisible that nothing might escape from her which would provoke or dishonour him who is of purer Eyes than to behold Iniquity she yielded the Throne of her Heart to God and whether she spake or wrote to others or Prayed for them she exhorted or entreated that the Interest of God's Glory might be uppermost obtain the Supremacy and nothing be its Rival or stand in competition with it Such Expressions frequently occurring in many of the Passages above related and transcribed from her Papers and for the promoting the Salvation of others she remembred and practised our Saviour's Counsel to St. Peter Thou when thou art Converted strengthen thy Brethren I have given account above of her indefatigable Care and zealous Diligence in instructing Children Servants Neighbours and it is unreasonable to conclude I have little to say on this Head because I will not say over again what I had so fully said before Her Converse was generally very Serious Savory Edifying few have come to see me since she dyed who have not told me how frequently and faithfully she used to give them good Advice and Exhortations to be sincerely Religious and indeed she was endowed with an extraordinary measure of Courage Prudence Faithfulness to give necessary free kind and seasonable Reproofs Admonition and Instructions and would not suffer Sin to be upon their Souls whom she had any opportunity to rescue from it at least would use her best Endeavours to effect so good a Work and would speak so home and plainly to them who needed it that I confess I have sometimes thought she rather exceeded and have between our selves intimated so much to her to which she would wisely and with just Apology reply My Dear we must deal freely and speak home in such Cases not mince the Matter and speak slightly it will not be minded if we do and as good never a whit as never the better it is well if all we can say will effect what it is said for and if they be not convinced both of their own Errour and our Good-will and made to feel what we speak by our plain and faithfull Earnestness all the rest is lost to them and us they 'll be no better for it and we shall not have the comfort of discharging the part and duty of true Christian Friendship And she had often good success but once above other times so eminent and signal I can hardly forbear to relate it and I have heard her more than once or twice make mention of it with Thankfulness and Comfort and as a good encouragement to do the like She had a very awakened Sense and deep impressions on her Mind of that Estate which is on the other side of Death and was full fraught with Love and Pity to Immortal Souls and would do all she could to the saving of her own and others and therefore accounted all kindest offices not worth the name of true Friendship which stopped short and reached not to at least had not a fair tendency towards the Eternal Salvation of her Friends SECT XXV Several Graces in which she was most Eminent I Have cause to repent those hasty Thoughts set down before page the 50th as Heads to be touched more fully by which I have made my self Debtor to the Reader 's Expectation to write somewhat of the Title of this Section for when I set my Thoughts to single out in the Prospect of them all which shined with the greatest Lustre all were so fair and bright I am at a loss on which to fix the Preference For I may say of her with Modesty and Truth what St. Gregory Nazianzen saith of his Sister Gorgonia with wonder That she excelled in all Vertues and St. Jerome of Nepotian that he was so Eminent in all Graces as if he had excelled but in some one alone She was compleat in Christ had taken to herself the whole Armour of God not an almost-Christian but throughly furnished to every good Word and Work And as God had preserved her that though she was assaulted by many Buffetting Temptations she was not overcome by them and that no Iniquity had Dominion over her to Reign in her Mortal Body or Immortal Soul to blot her Name or Profession with any Scandalous Offence so every Grace of the Spirit with all which she was very plenteously adorned exerted its self with Vigour was not raked up in faint and lazy Habits Her Knowledge in which the New Man is renewed and without which the Wise Man tells us the Heart cannot be good was clear solid and indeed Masculine beyond the Proportion of her Sex and Degree as may appear by all she wrote and she would discourse and argue very knowingly and with sound Judgment upon any Point of Divinity as occasion offered The Oil which fed this Lamp was her much Reading good Books but especially the Holy Scriptures in which she meditated Day and Night and if
Trouble We left him found another chief Man of the Parish but the Over-seer for the Poor being absent nothing could be farther done at present only the Person we last spoke with seemed sensible of the Matter promised to take effectual course that the Girl should be duly bound to the good Master provided for her but after tedious waiting and expecting and nothing done we were forced to send her back with Horse and Man to the Place from whence she came only with this difference She was in good Plight and well Cloathed and taught somewhat who when we took her up was one of the forlornest miserable Objects I ever saw And if this will not prove the Pity of this good Woman to be a little above the ordinary Pitch and Size I must confess I have mis-titled this Section and own she was Eminent in no Grace at all I hope naming Persons and Places will give none offence I conceiv'd it necessary to make it evident I write not Romance but matter of Fact and unquestionable Truth For her Repentance it was her daily Business to renew it and approve it to be sincere as if she had thought herself as Tertullian wrote Born for nothing else but ad agendum poenitentiam To do Penance or Repent She was a great Weeper though innocently Chearfull in Conversation when she liked her Comâ—any I am perswaded she shed more Tears 〈◊〉 especially in the time of her Temptatiâ—n to prevent Sin and in Praying against it â—han some Hundreds ever did to bewail it when â—ommitted and she was frequent in keeping â—olemn private days of Fasting and Humiliation as was hinted when I shewed how she â—pent a Week pag. 48. Her Reverential Fear of God was very remarkable she could not endure to hear Sacred things spoken of with lightness much less with scorn and ridicule If any had heard a Story of the Prophaneness of any other and went about the telling of it she would put forth both her Hands as thrusting him away or move them to her Ears as if she would stop them and cry out I pray tell no such Stories in my Hearing and if they desisted not would hasten away These Holy Impressions were first rooted in her by the Practice and Example of Mr. Martin who published Bishop Brownrig's Sermons whom she frequently heard when young whom I have often heard her mention with Honour as a Person who always spake of God with profoundest Reverential Awe she ever heard any Man and grew up more and more in and after the time of her long and sore Temptations by Blasphemous Suggestions lest her Enemy should take advantage by any Prophane Word spoken in her hearing to tincture her Mind with any Thought or Notion unsuitable to the most adorable Divine Perfections Yet this great and solemn Reverence she always retained towards God and Christ notwithstanding I must acknowledge she used not to bow at the sound and mention of the Name of the most Holy Jesus Her Love of God was as raised and fervent as her Fear of him was submiss and calm She was a Terrestrial Seraphim this Grace was always flaming all her Sacrifices were offered up with Divine Fire upon an Altar not built of hewen Stone but of Earth or unpolished Stones upon which no Tool had been lifted up if I may allude to that passage of the Law which might pollute it I mean an Heart profoundly humble As the Glory of God was the End she always propounded to herself and his revealed Will was the Rule and Measure of all she said or did so the Love of God was the Spring and Principle from whence all was derived and flowed as the Hart panted after the Water-Brooks so her Heart panted after God Her Soul was a-thirst for God the Living God crying with David's Pathos When shall I appear in the Presence of God She loved God for himself and all she loved besides she loved for his Sake and the more of him she found in any thing or Person the more dearly did she love it And because she knew meer Pretenders are but God's Flatterers they only who intend what the Profess are God's Friends as Maximus Tyrius a Heathen Philosopher could observe and she had learned from a greater and better Master who bids us If we love him keep his Commandments Her Obedience was very uniform universal unreserved constant she did not pick and chuse but that she might not be ashamed had respect to all God's Commandments She did not cull out cheap and easy Duties and draw back her Hand from touching what seemed more burthensome and heavy but what was God's Will Commanding was her Will Obeying and what was his Providential Will in ordering and disposing was hers in approving and submitting without regret and murmur And for Sins she dealt not with them as Saul with the Amalekites Cattle slay mortifie only the lean and refuse and spare the fat ones abstain from such as had no bait of Pleasure or Profit to bribe her not to pass Sentence against them but shut her Eyes against such Bribes she kept herself from her own Iniquities would not taste the least Morsel of forbidden Fruit seemed it never so pleasant to the Eye or liquorish to the Taste in a word The Law of God was written on her Heart and her Life and Conversation were a Counter-part and Transcript of it My thoughts of her Vertues bringing to my Mind the remembrance of other good Women and amongst them Huldah the Prophetess in whose time the Law was found the Copy of which had been lost in the Evil Days before Josiah almost transported me to write what others would call and I would not deny to border on it an extravagant Hyperbole that if the Law had beed lost with us it might have been renewed and copied out from her Life and Practice Her Sincerity was very Eminent she hated Guile and Hypocrisie with a perfect Hatred how oft hath her Pen left it written and her Heart and Tongue uttered it an hundred times more Let Integrity and Vprightness preserve me She would not could not disguise and act a Part her Conversation was in Simplicity and Godly Sincerity she knew God could not be mocked and she dreaded the Thoughts of doing it and she was of so generous a Temper she scorned to deceive Men and she feared exceedingly to deceive herself and therefore was often searching and trying herself and ways putting herself into the Balance of the Sanctuary and crying to God in David's Language Lord search me and try me and see if there be any way of Wickedness left in me and lead me in the Way Everlasting I will join her Modesty to her Sincerity because there is no greater Impudency than to be an Hypocrite who cunningly hides to escape the reproach of open Wickedness from the Eyes of Men what with Atheistical Boldness he is neither affraid nor ashamed to display before those Eyes which are as a Flame of Fire from
Lady Essex Specot pag. 234 to pag. 246 Another Consolatory Letter written to a good Christian Friend under Trouble pag. 246 An account of the Care she took of young Scholars which came to live in my Family pag. 247. As it should be though mis-printed pag. 227. Two Letters in part which she wrote to one of them to stir him up to Faithfulness in his Ministry pag. 250 A good Letter to a Country Farmer who Married her Kinswoman which I hope may be usefull to all my plain Parishioners pag. 258 A very large but excellent Letter writ to her dear Grand-Child about two Months before she died which I hope may be very usefull to young Gentlemen of the like Age. pag. 270 The Conclusion pag. 296 It is not needfull to run over the whole to amend the Mis-printings which are not many nor great Prayers for Praises Amnestry for Amnesty revenerable for venerable Glassock for Glascock pag. 258. and a few like are all I remember and some Mis-pointings THE HOLY LIFE OF Mrs Elizabeth Walker The INTRODUCTION I Am not so short sighted as not to foresee the Censures I may expose my self to by this Undertaking especially if it fall into the Hands of such as are prone to make sinister Interpretations of other Mens Actions and receive with the left hand what is most innocently offered with the right Yet considering it would be very ill becoming that endeared Affection I always bore to her living and owe to her precious memory now God hath bereaved me of her to baulk a Duty and neglect an Office which may be as usefull to others as kind to her upon such fears I shall freely run that hazard to perpetuate her Memory with just Honour and deserved Praise but principally to glorifie God for that abundant Grace vouchsafed to her and to carry on that Work her Heart was so intensly set upon that is the promoting God's Interest in the World and the good of Souls That the Bushel of unkind silence and sudden forgetfulness may not be whelmed over so burning and shining a Light whose Heat and Lustre may warm and enlighten others though set upon so low a Candlestick as my hasty Pen must place it on I willingly wave an obvious Preface of the usefulness and efficacy of good Examples to enlarge on which it may elsewhere appear I am not wholly unfurnished because I design the concisest brevity and for the same reason I shall pass by what concerned her in all other regards but those the Title Page suggests or touch them no farther than seems necessary for decency and order's sake to introduce what I mainly and indeed solely design in this Essay that those who read it may more fully know of whom these things are spoken To effect which I shall begin with an Account of her Parentage and Birth left under her own hand SECT I. Of her Birth and Parentage BEfore the Transcribing of which I shall premise thus much concerning her Papers from which I am chiefly furnished for this work I sometimes coming into her Chamber when she was Writing she would slide her Book or Papers into the Drawer of the Table on which she wrote and this having happened several times she one day on the like occasion bespake me thus My Dear let me beg one promise from thee Which when I had assented to having demanded what it was she replied That I would never look into the Books and Papers in that Drawer so long as she lived So tender was she rather to improve her time well than to have it known even to my self how well she spent it Which promise as she fully acquiesced in was on my part most faithfully made good Since her Death amongst her many most usefull excellent and pious Writings I found a large Book in Octavo of the best Paper she could buy neatly bound gilded and ruled with red provided for the use to which she so well imployed it On the second Page of which I find thus written Elizabeth Walker her Book all writ with my own hand though the Character doth vary I striving to write a little deeper my sight growing weaker I say there is not one Syllable which I have not writ with my own hand In this Book from the beginning at one end in about two third parts of it are written many excellent Instructions and religious Directions for the use of her two Daughters who were then living to teach them how to serve God acceptably and promote the Salvation of their Souls Which I shall have occasion oft to refer to and to transcribe many Passages out of it in the sequel The other End bears this Title Some Memorials of God's Providences to my Husband Self and Children Then she begins thus My Husband was born c. and so gives a very exact Account of my Parentage Family Education and many signal Mercies and Diliverances vouchsafed me before she knew me of which she had informed her self at several times by enquiries of me and Discourses with me I suppose to inform our Children after us That the Generation to come might know them even the Children which should be born who should arise and declare them to their Children That they might set their hope in God and not forget the works of God but keep his Commandments As the Psalmist speaks Psal lxxviij 6 7. And after every one of them testifies the sense of a very pious gratefull Mind in such Expressions as these Blessed be God for his Mercy to him then and in his farther goodness to me therein for which mercifull Providence I bless God Blessed be God that upheld him in it and delivered him from it c. I can scarce obtain of my self to add more on this Head yet begging the Candour of the Christian Reader I will venture to subjoin the last Passage which in this Paragraph concerns my self because it savours no less of pious Gratitude to God than most endearing kindness toward me When he was ready to commence Master of Arts good Bishop Brownrigg commended him to worthy Doctor Gauden to teach Mrs. Mary Lukenor Dr. Gauden's Wife's Daughter who was afterward the Wife of my Lord Townsend and died Childless After Three Years spent in that Imployment and assisting Dr. Gauden in the Ministry at Bocken my Dear came to be Houshold Chaplain to the good and noble Right Honourable Robert Earl of Warwick at Leez where he received many Mercies the chief to be esteemed the Crown God was pleased to give to his Ministry in the Conversion of the then Lady Mary Rich since the Right Honourable Countess of Warwick A most incomparable Woman in all Ornaments of Nature and Grace and his most sincere and entire Friend whom I beseech God in his infinite Goodness to preserve and crown with all his Mercies Excuse the pathos of a gratefull Mind which cannot refrain crying out concerning these two holy Women Never Man had better Friend than the one or better Wife than the
justly very angry with me I being exceedingly afraid and ashamed to confess what or to whom I had spoke dreading my Father's displeasure denyed it Good Lord pardon this Transgression with the aggravations of it O Lord I thank thee for thy patience forbearance and long-sufferance extended to me Thou mightest most justly have stopt my corrupt breath and allowed me neither space nor time of Repentance I beseech thee with this abhorr'd provocation forgive all my relative Sins Good Lord pardon my Sins of Childhood Youth riper Age single estate married condition wheresoever whensoever against whomsoever committed that they may not shame me in this world nor confound me before thee when I shall appear at thy Tribunal The abhorrency she had of this fault was so great that I firmly believe she never knowingly spake an untruth after to her dying day So gracious faithfull and able is our good God to bring Good out of Evil and by setting home the smart of one Sin to prevent the committing of the like for ever after After many passages of God's goodness and her Father 's indulgent kindness to her which I omit I meet with this evidence of her Father's confidence in her Prudence and Integrity That keeping a petty Cash for him of an Hundred Pounds or more he would not so much as read over the particulars charg'd as disbursed for her self but would say 'Pray thee take at any time what thou needest By which freedom I bless God I was not made lavish but more sparing Lord I bless thee for the indulgent Care and Love of a Parent How much more wilt thou give good things to them that ask thee and no good thing wilt thou withhold from them that walk uprightly My Dear Father was very tender of me and in time of the Civil Wars sent me to Ipswich for my safety where I stay'd a Year and a Quarter in which time a Gentleman of a good Estate in Land and a Merchant by Profession had a great Kindness for me one whom in the best of my thoughts I did then approve but in the extension of God's goodness to me in preventing my future disappointment as to things of this Life by a strange over-ruling Providence my Father slighted that offer two or three Years after the Gentleman decay'd in his Estate by great Losses at Sea About a Year after my return from Ipswich I went into Warwickshire to Stratford in both which places I acknowledge I did not improve that vacancy as I might to better Advantages but squander'd it away vainly and in idle Visits not providing for Eternity with my time Lord pardon my neglects Whilst here a Gentleman of a very considerable Estate was very importunate with me for my liking but though his Estate was a great Temptation to me I could not fancy his Person God's goodness reserving for me my best Choice Having thus run over with what brevity I could what is but Prefatory to my main design and for that end been forced to omit many things well-worthy to have been taken notice of I shall make nearer approaches to what I chiefly propounded to my self which is to represent though in too faint Colours the amiable Beauty of that resplendant Holiness and signal Chatity with which the God of all Grace to whom be all the Glory vouchsafed to adorn this blessed Soul SECT II. How she was first awakened to a deep sense of Religion by Temptation AND because great and weighty Fabricks require deep and strong Foundations that they may stand firm and last that God whose work is perfect thought good to use that method towards her He suffered her weary Soul to be dug deep and long with sore and great Temptations And as 't is usually said a Storm makes a Mariner a Battle a Soldier and Temptation makes a Christian She was certainly an excellent Christian and to render her such she was long buffeted with horrid satanical Suggestions and blasphemous Temptations which not only made her go mourning all the day long but many Months and Years and not only those fiery and envenomed Darts drank up her Spirits but brought her Life to the gates of the Grave and her distressed Soul to the gates of Hell I shall for the comfort and support of others who may fall into the like Distress give the account of it as set down by her own Pen which may at least relieve them against one difficulty which oppressed her very heavily that is she thought her case to be singular and that never any had been in the like condition and one of the first glimpses of comfort which shone into her dark Soul was from her good Aunt 's acquainting her that she had had experience of the like Tryals When I had been at home about half a Year I grew Melancholy occasioned by some discontent which God was pleased to cure with a smart Corrosive through suffering Satan to take advantage of that humour which affliction swallowed up all my other troubles I going to Prayer according to my usual custom before I kneeled down by an outward action of my Hand which was in it self very innocent and at that time not irreverent farther than the Devil made it so by casting a blasphemous suggestion into my mind which looked very hideously upon me But notwithstanding I pray'd without farther molestation at that time I cannot remember what notice I took of the Temptation in my Prayer but when I had ended my Prayer my Enemy fiercely assaulted me I could neither see any thing nor hear or doe any thing but evil Motions were forced into my mind and though I besought the Lord more than thrice I could not be free from that affliction Sometimes through my dark and cloudy fancy I had temptations that there was no God which was very vexatious to me And I impatient of it desired to apprehend a God all Vengeance and Terrour rather than no God at all But the Lord was pleased to obviate that Temptation by my meditating on the Creation My Father much loved Flowers and as the Season of the Year would afford always had his Flower-Pots standing by him where he sate writing in his Shop but then were above in the Parlor window to which I often went to countermine my Temptation in admiring the curious Works of the God of Nature With others there was then in flower a Calcedon Iris full of the impresses of God's curious workmanship which the Lord was pleased to make use of to raise my poor heart and thoughts to the admiring and adoring of him Blessed be God that that Temptation was not above my strength In the time of my extremity I went to Mr. Watson a good Man Minister of Stephen's Walbrook the Parish wherein we lived To him I imparted somewhat of my trouble he strove to comfort me I found little ease with my burthen it grew more heavy I repented I had made my condition known I thought my estate to be singular and that I should
Light and my Righteousness in those particulars as the Noon-day telling me nothing could ever make her shrink or quail but guilt of which blessed be God we comfortably knew there was not the least Spark to raise that Blasting Smoak How did she pray to God! for she knew the Case would bear Appeals to him How did she write to and sollicite Men How did she walk and ride and repeat long Journeys beyond her Strength Had not her Affections been both more strong and swift than Legs or Horse or Coach and when a Gentleman had treated her less obligingly than by a messuage sent from himself he had incouraged her to hope for by her meekness of Wisdom by her calm Replies and by a convincing prudent Letter which she wrote him she obtained this acknowledgment from him That she was a very good yea excellent Christian but no more of these matters let them be buried in her Grave they 'll not disturb her Rest and I heartily pray that when she shall rise to Glory they may rise to no Man's Shame Amen Amen Next to the things of God my Company was the delight and satisfaction of her Life and when I went from home she would importune my speediest return and if she had any Friend to visit she would take the opportunity of my absence that she might not be from me when at home and if any Family affairs gave more trouble and bustle she would not fail to have them finished whilst I was abroad that there might be no molesting puther or noise in my Sight and Hearing and as she often told me next to the pleasing God her greatest Care was that I might never be displeased If passing the love of Women be a superlative Expression hers was more than so passing the love of most Women that there was not a Man on Earth I had cause to envy as happier than my self in that respect She was a Wife according to my own Heart and even exceeded the Character of such an one as with most earnest Prayers I begged of God to vouchsafe to me when I was inclined to enter on the Marriage State In this God did abundantly for me beyond what I could ask or think and as a good Friend who came to comfort me since I lost her was pleased to phrase it alluding to the Expression Ezek. 20.6 Of God's giving the Land of Canaan to his People God had spied out a Wife for me and as we have some hundred times blest God for singling us out from all other Persons in the World to be joined in that most near Relation so I repeat those Praises with profoundest Gratitude from the bottom of a most humble Heart She would often come into my Study to me and when I have asked her what she would have she would reply Nothing My Dear but to ask thee how thou dost and see if thou wantest any thing and then with an endearing Smile would say Dost thou love me to which when I replied Most dearly I know it abundantly would she answer to my Comfort but I love to hear thee tell me so And once when I was adding the reasons of my Love and began first for Conscience she stopt me e'er I could proceed as she was very quick Ah my Dear I allow Conscience to be an excellent Principle in all we doe but like it worst in Conjugal Affection I would have thee love me not because thou must but because thou wilt not as a duty but delight we are prone to reluctate against what 's imposed but take Pleasure in what we chuse so innocently witty would she be They that have such Wives will easily pardon my fondness in this short Paragraph and that all may doe it I wish that no Man living had a worse but I 'll not offend the most sowre or most squeemish in like kind for the future As she was all the best of Wives could be in time of Health so if God sent Sickness more than is credible to any but Eye-witnesses It once pleased God to visit us with Sickness both together she was taken first my self in few days after and both so ill our death was expected by our selves and others but God was pleased to spare us longer I recovered first and when I could leave my Bed and creep into her Chamber the sight of me was like Life from the Dead She hath oft told me she could not express what alteration it made in her the joy so revived her Spirits it helped to cure her There 's not a Sickness nor imminent danger I escaped all the time we lived together which she hath not recorded with most ardent Prayers and signal Instances of God's gracious Answers of them and most lively Praises which might thaw a Heart of Ice into streams of devoutest Thankfulness which even the fear of being prolix can scarce restrain me from transcribing but I will confine my self to one out of very many November 30. 1675. being Saturday my Dear Husband came from London and not well with a Cold. The Lord's Day following he Preached both parts of the Day Monday he took Ruffi's Pills he grew very ill with his Cold which was accompanied with a Fever and a Pleurisie Tuesday Morning very early I sent for Dr. Yardly and Dr. Godfrey On the Wednesday I sent to London for Dr. Walter Needham My Dear Husband having Pains in his Side was by the appointment of his Physicians let-Blood three times After his third Bleeding he had a very sick Night but not sensible of his Illness for when I asked him how he did he said pretty well though to my apprehension he was very ill He groan'd all Night and very restless when I raised him in his Bed to take something to refresh him he had tremblings and a fumbling in his Speech and sometimes speak incoherently which made me fear he was a little delirous these bad Symptoms gave me the fear of the sudden approach of Death I again sent for Dr. Needham who lovingly came again to us These Colds with Fevers were then the Epidemical Disease both of City and Country of which many died by which distemper my Dear Husband was brought even to the Mouth of the Grave from which God mercifully retrieved and gave me him again Thus far the History of my Sickness by her Pen to which before I transcribe the Devotial Part I must add from my own Memory to the Praise of God's Grace and Patience The third time of my Bleeding was by my own peremptory Resolution which I hardly obtained the other Physicians consent to it being the night before Dr. Needham came the second time but God whose Mercy put it into my Mind inclined them to consent to the Arguments I used for it which were these I told them my Pain continued in my Side my Water as high and thick as ever my Heat also and dryness of my Mouth I raised purulent and bloody Matter and I bled at Nose and urged
improve their Intellectuals to season their tender Hearts with a due Sense of Religion that they might be glorious within she having no desire so Pathetick no Joy so great as to see her Children walking in the Truth and in the Love and Practice of Serious Holiness To promote and forward this she taught them to Read as soon as they could pronounce their Letters yea before they could speak plain and sowed the Seed of early Pious Knowledge in their tender Minds by a plain familiar Catechism suited to their Capacity whilst very young which I find among her Papers that serious things might have the first Possession of their Hearts and would strictly charge the Servants not to tell them foolish Stories or teach them idle Songs which might tincture their Fancies with vain or hurtfull Imaginations and choak the good Seed of Pious Instruction or draw them from it When they had attained the first and smallest Sense of God she would cause them to kneel down and lift up their little Hands and Eyes to Heaven those humble Gestures being the silent Language of Natural Religion then would she dictate to them such easie words of Prayer as were most level to their budding Reason And when they arrived at four or five years old she would teach them somewhat a larger Prayer and cause them to go by themselves till they were accustomed to doe it of their own accord and as they grew up gave them directions concerning Prayer of which I find a Treatise which I would have called an excellent one had it not been hers so nearly Related to me of which more e'er long When they could read tolerably well she caused them to get by Heart choice Sentences of Scripture then whole Psalms and Chapters which she oft called them to repeat and gave them small pecuniary Rewards to encourage them and that they might have somewhat of their own to give to the Poor and when she gave Farthings or Victuals to travelling People at the Door she would cause a Child to give it to them to accustome them to be Charitable And in this Pious Maternal Care did she spend good part of every day which should not have been omitted when I gave account how she spent a Day and Week When they had learned the Church-Catechism she would have them answer publickly that the meaner sort might be ashamed not to send their Children and the poor Children might be quickned and encouraged by their Example and Company And having observed that many would read commendably in the Bible where the Sentences are shorter and the distinction of the Verses and frequent use much helped them who could scarce doe it intelligibly in other Books where the Periods are longer and not so well distinguished She would give them other Books and often hear them read them and would make a prudent choice of Books of Instruction and Devotion and sometimes usefull Histories as the Book of Martyrs and Abbreviations of our English Chronicles and Lives of Holy Exemplary Persons especially of those who were so while Young that she might doe several things at once both perfect their Reading and inform their Judgments and inflame their Affections to an imitation of their early Piety She was also very Circumspect not only to keep their Morals untainted from Pride Immodesty Lying Contempt of or deriding others for their natural Infirmities telling Tales or causing Debate or Anger and the like shewing them the evil of those Courses but also of their Gestures and Carriage that they might contract no indecent Habitudes or uncomely Postures which might expose them to Contempt but above all of this kind pressing them to Cleanliness and Neatness intimating that it was a sign and evidence in some measure of inward Purity and would often tell them that though all neat People were not good yet almost all good People were neat and that she had rather see an Hole in their Cloaths than a Spot upon them I pass by her Diligence in Teaching them whetever might fit them for all Family-Imployments in Pastry and Seasoning of which her Friends were use to say her Hand was never out causing them to transcribe her best Receipts for things which were curious but especially for Medicines with Directions how to use them that if God had spared their Lives they might have been as usefull in their Generation as God vouchsafed her the Honour to be in hers But I must by an inforced Brevity deny my self the pleasure of recording more lest by a seeming Prolixity I displease others and hasten to finish this Section with transcribing what her dear Pen had prepared for her Children many years ago and I never saw till I was bereaved of her For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Mrs. Elizabeth Walker A Collection of Scriptures some to excite and move to c. Then follows many Heads under which they are ranked but because the order is changed in the Book it self I shall rather touch the order in which they are at large set down Then she concludes what I may call the Title-Page with these words Directed to each of them singularly All which to the Glory of God I humbly beg may be to your Souls Advantage so Prays with most earnest Request to God for thee thy Ever Loving whilst Living Mother Elizabeth Walker The first she begins with bears this Title It is the Duty of Christians to pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with Watchfulness in the Spirit with warmth and Life Then she begins with a description of Prayer what it is both as a means of Worship whereby we honour and give Glory to God and a means of Grace whereby we obtain Mercy and Help from him and subjoins in seven large Pages whatever she conceived Expedient and usefull for its answering both those ends all which she confirms with most apposite and proper Scriptures and Examples I thought to have abbreviated it here but when I went about it I could not find one Line to be omitted as useless or that might well be spared therefore must wholly pass it by or add it intirely in the Appendix amongst some other Papers of hers The second Head is this It is the duty of those whom God blesseth with the good things of this Life to supply the necessities of those who want them which God's Word as our Rule abundantly expresseth or a Collection of Scriptures to excite to a liberal Distribution to the Necessity of the Poor for with such Sacrifices God is well pleased Then she adds three Pages of such Scriptures Judiciously chosen The third Head Divers Scriptures which exhort to Meekness of Spirit This contains six Pages Then follows this single Page without Title which I shall transcribe with my Pen because she did it so signally in her Practice that it contains her Picture to the Life and was to teach her Daughters what they should be Prov. 12.4 A Vertuous Woman is a Crown to her
Husband but she that maketh ashamed is as Rottenness to his Bones Prov. 31.17 She looketh well to the ways of her Houshold and cateth not the Bread of Idleness She stretcheth forth her Hands to the Poor yea she reacheth forth her Hands to the needy She riseth also while it is yet Night and giveth Meat to her Houshold Col. 3.18 Wives Submit your selves to your own Husbands as is fit in the Lord. Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own Husbands as unto the Lord and the Wife see that she Reverence her Husband 1 Pet. 3.1 6. and ver 3 4 Likewise ye Wives be in Subjection to your own Husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. Let not your adorning be platting of the Hair wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel But let it be the hidden Man of the Heart in that which is not corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which in the Sight of God is of great Price Good Lord grant me this with all the other Graces of thy Holy Spirit Amen Amen Amen This last named Scripture was the Glass which she always drest herself by with exemplary modest Decency as became a grave and holy Matron and a Minister's Wife as she would often urge as one reason of the plainness of her garb which was never sordid or negligent though always in Black never appeared abroad in any other Colour so much as to a Knot or Ribbon I with great Thankfulness acknowledge she was my Crown and Glory and thâ— Heart of her Husband did safely trust in her The fourth Head which she Collected out oâ— the Scriptures for her Childrens use is Thâ— Threatnings in God's Word he hath denounc'â— against Sinners to keep your Hearts in aâ— awfull Fear that you neglect not God remembring that as he has and was so he stiâ—â— is and will be Just in the Punishment of thâ— Breach of his most Holy and Righteous Commands in observing of which there is greâ—â— Rewards If his Wrath be kindled but a little who can abide it but who knows the Power oâ— it How then shall we be able to dwell witâ— Everlasting Burnings and devouring Fire Stand in Awe therefore and Sin not Then follow no less than forty nine Pageâ— closely written of God's severe Threatningâ— against Sin and Sinners in general and the particular kinds of Sin all exactly cited as to thâ— Book Chapter and Verse Oh how richly diâ— the Word of God dwell in her How did shâ— Meditate in it Day and Night That she coulâ— so readily turn to almost any place only by heâ— own Memory and Observation for she woulâ— sometimes though seldom come to me intâ— my Study and say Pray My Dear tell me wherâ— are such Words repeating them for I know noâ— how to find them by a Concordance never having used one The fifth Head The Promises for the Pardon of Sin the faithful Sayings of God worthy of all Acceptation Jesus Christ came into the World to Save Sinners yea the chief of Sinners in him all the Promises are yea and in him Amen Then she begins with Gen. 3.15 He shall â—ruise thy Head a very comfortable Word to â—er who had so many Conflicts with the Old â—erpent her Enemy as she always called him Then follows a choice Collection in ten Pages which she concludes with Rom. 10. For the â—cripture saith Whosoever believeth in him shall â—ot be ashamed The Sixth Head The Promises to Perseverance in Grace God which begins a good Work in the Hearts of his People will perfect it for he works all our Works in us and for us and to him be the Glory who is the Author and Finisher for we are kept by the Power of God through Faith unto Salvation Then follow twenty nine Pages of such Promises The seventh Head The Promises in Affliction for Support and Comfort God doth not willingly grieve the Children of Men there has no Temptation overtaken you but such as is common But God in his Faithfulness will not suffer it to be above Strength but will with the Temptation also make a way to escape for he knows our Frame whereof we are made and will not contend for Ever Then folloâ— twenty one Pages of these Promises upoâ— Habak 1.12 Art not thou from Everlasting O Lord my God my Holy one we shall not dyâ— She adds Blessed be God for these Words anâ— all his blessed Promises for which a Reasoâ— will appear afterwards when she shews whaâ— support they yielded her in an hour of Temptation in the close she directs her Words 〈◊〉 her Children for whose use chiefly she haâ— taken this Pains Having these great and precious Promiseâ— cleanse your selves from all filthiness of Flesh anâ— Spirit perfecting Holiness in the Fear of God For Godliness hath the Promises of this Lifâ— and of the Life to come therefore seek first tâ—â— Kingdom of Heaven and its Righteousnesâ— and all these things shall be added unto you Theâ— concludes thus I intend not by this Collection of Promiseâ— and Threatnings transcrib'd out of Scripture 〈◊〉 take you off from the Historical and preceptâ—ry part of God's word to which as nothing 〈◊〉 to be added so nothing is to be diminish'd froâ— it but only to get Wine and Oil near-hand these precious Cordials not far off when mosâ— need of them therefore I request and chargâ— your Conscientious Reading all the Truths oâ— God revealed in your Bible the Holy Scriptures The eighth Head An abbreviation of Faith and Christian Principles which saith she I have collected out of divers Authors with some things of my own conceptions as God helped my understanding This contains eleven Pages and is a very judicious and usefull and methodicall discourse but because she distinguisheth not between what was her own and what she collected from others I transcribe nothing out of it She concludes it thus These Truths I do with the best of my judgment assent to and beseech God to establish my heart in the firm belief of his Word Good Lord let my Faith be sound and saving also The ninth Head I may call a Body of Divinity which she gives no intimation whether it were collected from others or of her own Composure as she did in what went before and therefore I have reason to think it was her own It begins with a description of God as to his Essence Persons and Attributes then proceeds to his works of Creation and Providence c. and proves by apposite Scriptures all she sets down 'T is very methodical and clear in 44 Pages If I have any judgment an able Divine need not be ashamed to own it and I think it would be no reproach to wish That all could exceed it When she hath spoken of Death and the Resurrection she adds Good Lord fit me for a dying hour Bring me to it In thy infinite Mercy be with me in it and carry me through it And after three Pages in which she describes
the happy estate of the Saints in Heaven and ends with these words It is an eternal Happiness which is the crown of our crown She concludes the whole with Prayer Dear and blessed Lord how unsearchable is thy Wisdom Goodness and unspeakable loving-kindness to poor Sinners I beseech thee take off my affections to the transient things of this World and wean my Heart from the Love of this present Life for at thy right hand are rivers of Pleasures and in thy Presence fullness of Joy which no mortal Eye hath seen nor Ear heard neither can it enter into the Heart of Man what thou hast prepared for those that love thee for which blessed estate and rest good Lord fit and prepare me thy poor and most unworthy creature even so come Lord Jesus Amen Amen The Tenth Head is marks of a regenerate Estate by way of Question or Examination Dost thou c. which she shuts up with this Prayer after three Pages Blessed Lord thou art good and continually dost good unto thy People I beseech thee deliver me from a fluctuating and hesitating Mind and help me that I may with full resolution and fixation of Soul cleave unto thee that no lord besides thee may have Dominion or Rule over me but that I may with full purpose of Heart chuse thy Service which may obviate all the Temptations of this World either in the good things or bad things of it or any thing which would stand in competition with thee to allure me or deterr and scare me from thee Thy Service is perfect freedom Lord help me to make that good choice Amen The last Head is a very large and devout Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving that as she had before in the Theory described Prayer and given Directions how to render it acceptable to God and prevalent with him so she might exemplifie those Rules that her dear Children might be taught both by Rule and Example how to make their Addresses to the Throne of Grace to honour God and obtain Mercy to help in time of need I am sensible how long this Section concerning her Care of her Childrens Education is yet I might have easily made it twice as long yea 't was hard to avoid so doing I wish it may be exciting and usefull to any Women to stir them up to and assist them in the like diligence that a Duty the neglect of which is of so bad consequence both to Parents and Children yea to the Church and Kingdom may be more laid to heart and wisely and conscientiously practised Amen SECT XIII Of Monthly Sacraments I Take the Liberty to call them so because that was the designed stated return of them though I confess they were sometimes deferred to five or six Weeks Revolution because our plain Country People in some more busie times had not the Vacancy from their urgent pressing Employments as Harvest for Serious Preparation She was a frequent yea constant Communicant I remember but one Sacrament in all the Years we lived together from which she was absent and that was one of the Easter-Sacraments when she had Received the Lord's Day before She was always very Devout at the Celebration and had an high Esteem of that Office in the Liturgy and her Preparation was always very Serious before never omitted to spend one Day at least in Ritirement to Fast and Pray and examine herself and humble her Soul before God and most of the Week would be much alone Reading the best Books of that Subject of which she had many or Reading them in the Family to prepare the Servants and would often prompt and exhort others not to turn their Backs upon that Holy Feast to which God himself so lovingly Invited them and yet withal caution them not to run to it Rashly and without Consideration that they might neither Starve themselves by neglecting that Food of their Souls nor Surfeit on it for the want of those Graces upon the Exercise of which depends the Digestion of it into wholsome and strengthening Nourishment and when she came Home she would give Solemn Thanks and beg of God to make her constant in the Covenant she had so signally renewed with him SECT XIV Of her Writings I Know not whether most to wonder at the quantity or quality of her Writings I find so many and they all so wise and good and the rather because her Pen was the only thing at which she was slow and the time spent in Devotion and Family-Affairs was so much that either of them might have exhausted all had she not improved every Moment and let none run to waste She was exceeding Expeditious in whatever she took in Hand and would dispatch a Business while another would be going about it yet which she would bewail but could not conquer she was slow at Writing beyond what was ordinary She had been used from a Child to a kind of Set-Hand and took off her Pen almost at every Letter which put a great stop to her speed She writ very streight fair and legibly for such a kind of Hand yet was long about it which notwithstanding besides the large Book of which so much before she hath left many both Books and Papers Copies of good Letters Meditations and the like There is one endorsed thus Contemplations on the 104 Psalm 10th Verse In which besides a large Ingenious and Pious Introduction shewing what led her to the following Thoughts which was chiefly the consideration of God's unlimited Goodness to all the Works of his Hands as the great Benefactor of the whole Creation which she handsomly illustrates in four Pages contains 190 Pages of the largest Paper of Twelve-pence a Quire Having set down the Words He sendeth the Springs into the Valleys which run among the Hills she thus begins This Scripture hath a large Extent it hath a double Blessing in it Temporal and Spiritual Enjoyments the one may be extracted or drawn from the other it affords the upper by the nether Springs The Valleys and Hills represent two sorts of Men the fruitful Valleys are the Character of good Men the barren Hills are the Character of bad Men both Temporal and Spiritual Blessings are given at least tendered to both good and bad but they are differently received and so she proceeds to so great Enlargement and by many more Allegories Piously to fill up near thirty Sheets close written but I refrain giving a farther Taste There is also a large Meditation of a Bee caught in a Spider's Web and assaulted by three Spiders successively after she had been dis-entangled once and again to which she compares a Christian hamper'd in the Snares of Satan and after some Freedom yet again and again molested by him and very Piously and Ingeniously runs the Parallel in many Particulars in near two Sheets which she concludes with a very devout Prayer which respects her own afflicted and vexatious Tryals by renewed Temptations which may be suitably touched when I come to that
Head There is also a Treatise of the Grace of Humility which was so much in her Heart and Practice She describes it hath many Sentences about it and there are Scriptures collected concerning it in loose Papers but this was rather desir'd than finished abundance more there are besides Copies of very good Letters which I forbear to mention because I intend to publish some of them in an Appendix SECT XV. Discreet Management of her Family SHE oft and very well considered of what Consequence it is to discharge the Duties incumbent upon us in the several Relations and Stations in which God's Providence is pleased to place us and that not only the credit of Religion in the Eyes of the World but also the Power and Comfort of it in the Sight of God and sense of our own Consciences hath great dependance on it and that he or she cannot be a good Christian who is not a good Husband or Wife Parent Master or Governess of a Family and therefore much studied to know her Relative Duties and to approve herself in the well discharging of them Therefore she oftener Read and oftner thought of the thirty first Chapter of the Proverbs and her Practice was as good a Comment as can be made upon the oeconomick Rules there given She was as I touch'd before Martha and Mary both unto Perfection yet always acted Martha's Part with Mary's Spirit though Martha also was a good Woman she spiritualized her Worldly Businesses behaved herself in her Family as became one who was of the Family of the first-Born made all her Imployments a Sacrifice by performing them in obedience to God whose Providence imposed them on her in setting her in a Station in which they were required of her not only submitted to them as Mortifications as is said of Marquess Renti in the two years Drudgery and Diversion he was content to undergo in rebuilding the Seat of his Ancestors because he esteemed himself called to it when he was the Head of his Family but with a willing Mind chearfully engaged in them accounting all as done to God which his Appointment made her Duty For if the Maid-Servant may sweep the House to God as Mr. R. Bolton expresses himself by considering it as a Duty in the condition to which he calls her how much more may the Mater-familias the Mistress govern it for him while she hath an Eye to him who is the God of Order and hath designed every one their Work as well in the less as in the larger Societies of Men. But I have already insisted on so many things justly reducible to this Head that I have prevented my self especially considering the more weighty part of Family-Discipline relates to Persons and the lighter only to Things having said so much of her Care of her Children and Servants the other Branch may be quickly dispatched with slighter Touches What the Apostle saith of the Vessels in an House some are to Honour some to Dishonour I may allusively say of Affairs some are more Honourable and Becoming some more Mean and Base to this latter sort she put not her Hand as it was not fit or decent that she should yet would she not disdain to inspect and order those to whom they did belong And therefore though she was neither her own Cook or Dairy-Maid yet was she always Clerk of her little Kitchin if I may so speak But whatever required more Art and Curiosity for the Closet or the Parlour as Preserving drawing Spirits in an Alembick or cold Still Pastry Angelots and other Cream-Cheeses of which she made many both for home Expence and to present to Friends and have been begged and sent at some hundred Miles distance they always past through her own neat and Skilfull Hands especially since the Death of one and Marriage of our other Daughter on whom she imposed those Matters to perfect them by Practice in what she had so accurately taught them So for all sorts of English Wines and Sider which when Friends have commended it may be too highly saying I had constantly the best they ever drank she would betwixt Jest and Earnest sometimes reply His Sider 't is my Sider I have all the Pains and Care and he hath all the Praise who never meddles with it To gratifie those whom such an Account may please I will venture to set down her last Years Experiment Having a good Plantation both of Redstreaks which are the Herefordshire Sider-Apple and Gennet-moils which are the Worcestershire and make a Sider of a very different Body Colour Gust and Flavour I desired they might be put into sundry Vessels after they were ground and prest severally but she came to me and said My Dear thou knowest not the trouble of drawing off so many Vessels I 'll make an Hogshead of them putting both together I left her to her Liberty and it succeeded so well all that taste it say they never drank so good But I have staid too long in the outward Court of her Secular Accomplishments and Care I will hasten out of it by a few Paces more She was Careful without sollicitous Anxiety Frugal without sordid Parsimony Liberal without squandring Profuseness Laborious without servile Drudgery Decent without vain Ostentation Circumspect without disquieting Diffidence Neat without Niceness would not sound ill if my haste would allow me to study Cadencies and Truth would permit it but I want a without to follow that Epithet Neat for if in any thing she knew no Bounds or Limits it was in this and she would often say she envied Great Persons for nothing but the neatness of their Living which a plain Country Family would not admit of I shall conclude this Section with some few of her oeconomick Axioms such as these among many Want nothing but waste nothing I hate a base fordid Spirit but I reckon it not such to spare well what would be spent ill what is spoil'd doth no body any good When she laid by what was not at present beneficial she would say What is not useful now may at another time be needed and though she would not use the Proverb Thrift is the fuel of Magnificence that lofty Word sounding too big for her humble Mouth and Mind yet a Note or two lower she liked well Honest Frugality is the Nurse of Decent Hospitality and if we had not the most her Prudence took care that what we had was usually of the best at least made so by her well ordering it She was exceeding watchful to prevent danger by Fire and to that end would see all raked up safe before she went to Bed a small Negligence often losing what the greatest Diligence cannot recover But no Circumspection could be greater than what she constantly Exercised to prevent both Extreams of Quarrels betwixt Fellow-Servants or too great Familiarity betwixt Men and Maids which might turn to worse Inconveniences and if she spied any uncivil or wanton Gestures she would severely reprehend them and
all my neglects of my relative Duty I desire to own thy Righteousness and that thou hast punished me less than my Iniquities deserve I bless thee that thou hast spared to me my dear Husband I beseech thee mightily to furnish him with the Gifts and Graces of thy Spirit and give him a long continuance in this Life very instrumental to thy glory the benefit and great advantage of thy Church and People and at last full fruition of thy self in eternal Glory Lord I bless thee that thou still intrusts us Parents to a Child I beseech thee bless this onely one and inable us with much Wisdom and Diligence to exhort instruct and train up for thee her thou hast yet spared to us Good Lord bless her and she shall be blessed Bless her in Soul with the plentifull Effusions of thy Holy Spirit and all the Graces of it Bless her Body with an healthfull Constitution and Honour her with long Life in the ways of Righteousness Suffer not her heart to be set on the gilded Vanities of this World but grant her of the things of this Life what thou thinkest good for her and be thou her God and Portion and when thou shalt conclude her days on Earth I beseech thee receive her to thy heavenly Kingdom Amen Amen I am sensible of the length of the preceding Section and will not make it longer by a needless and useless Apology needless to those who are acquainted with the actings of that sweet Spirit that breathed so fragrantly in her on such occasions and useless to those who are not only Strangers but Enemies to such a temper of Mind and had it contained but twenty lines would have esteemed it too long by fifteen of them I shall endeavour brevity in those which follow SECT XVII Renewed Assaults of her Enemy by Temptation THis was her almost constant trouble for many Years which she used to call emphatically Her Affliction For 't was with her one of his living Members as with our Blessed Lord her and our Head of whom I noted above When the Devil had finished all his present Temptations he departed from him for a season which clearly intimates his returning to renew his Assaults She sometimes had a breathing time vouchsafed her by the gratious Restraints God laid upon her Enemy but usually not very long for using to afford her the best Assistance that I could I sometimes for some Weeks or Months have refrained to mention them that I might not awaken the sleeping Lion and she taking no notice of them I have often said I hope my Dear thou hast been now some good space free from thy Affliction Alas my Dear would she reply with a deep sigh I have kept silence because I would not weary thee with my continual complaints And other whiles would gratefully acknowledge God's goodness in yielding her some Respite some Calms and quiet Intervals Yet after the Day God so strongly comforted her by Habakkuk i. 12. though I cannot say she was wholly free I do not remember she ever complained of her Temptations being either too fierce or frequent as they had been before nor did she once mention them in her last Sickness Blessed be God's goodness to her This cruel but cowardly Enemy usually made his fiercest Onsets when she was exercised with Indisposition of Mind or Body I will give one Instance of each First Under Indisposition of Mind with great Sorrow In the beginning of May 1680. an Affliction befel me my former Troubles returned upon me A wound not healed brake forth with deep Trouble of Mind much Afflicted with blasphemous Suggestions The good Lord rebuke them and with his All-sufficient Grace cast out of my Soul whatever may offend and provoke him to so severe a Scourge which in my own strength I am not able to stand under so unsupportable is the burthen But the good Lord give me to see that by the supporting Grace of his former Compassions I am preserved from the poisonous infection of them Satan taking advantage of my melancholy Disposition growing upon me after the Death of my dearly beloved Child Mrs. Margaret Cox renewed these Assaults And as in such Cases the subtile malitious Enemy will follow his blow home as far as he is suffered and multiply every Molehill into a Mountain as we speak Proverbially so he endeavoured to increase her disquiet by another very small Circumstance For she proceeds in her Complaint I had also a great damp and check on my earnest Endeavours to teach my little Boy his Book He at little more than three Years old would read well in his Primmer on a sudden he forsook it not through any evil Disposition in him I am not able to give an acccount of it but it occasioned me much grief and trouble But I bless God for his Mercy to me Half a Year after I began a-new with him and he hath with greater readiness to it and love of it learned much better than before So indulgently condescending was the divine Goodness to relieve her suitably and prevent the occasions her Enemy catch'd at to disturb her by Secondly Under Indisposition of Body by a long Sickness It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy impetuously to assault me This Visitation was very cloudy which then I could not see through nor apprehend God's Goodness though he vouchsafed many discoveries of his Favour to me I shall not multiply Passages of the same import nor pursue all the Methods her Christian Prudence made use of for her support as frequent Conference with my self and some few choice Christian Friends whom she much esteemed for their great Piety experience in spiritual Matters and prevalence with God in Prayer She made no noise with her Troubles revealed them but to few and to those whom she judged fittest to counsel and comfort her and sympathize with her in her Temptations as having had Experience of the like or been oft consulted by them who had But her best Defence was to take to her self the whole Armour of God and her chief Refuge was to the Throne of Grace to appeal to God who comforteth them who are cast down and to wrestle with God for help in time of need whom she used to importune to teach her hands to war and her fingers to fight in her spiritual Warfare and to carry on the War at his own Charge because the Quarrel was his and managed against the grand Enemy of his Glory as much as of her Peace I shall transcribe a Paper which I find Endorsed thus In time of Temptation writ by me Elizabeth Walker O Most holy wise powerfull gratious faithfull unchangeable and eternal God I thy poor afflicted Creature tossed on Waves and Billows of Sin and Temptation fly unto thee for Refuge in this Storm begging of thee thy supporting Grace helping me against the Assaults of my spiritual Enemies by what wile soever they invade my Soul with abhorr'd impure Motions vile and detestable Suggestions which
through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
but my Dear Wife's Pains and Trouble I told her we had now continued this Custom a great while and that I thought it too burthensome to her a Dinner signified not much to the Rich and for the Poor I would take Care they should be no losers She at present seem'd well pleased with what I said and acquiesced in it But upon second Thoughts she said My Dear I thank thee for thy Tenderness to me to prevent my Trouble but I am rather willing to undergo it were it greater than to discontinue a Practice so long used constantly and thereby occasion any mis-interpretation as if it proceeded from Parsimony or abatement of Kindness therefore I intreat thee let us continue to doe as we have hitherto done Yearly only let us try to have all in two Days we used to have in three and if our House will not contain them all at twice to some of the poorest I will send double as much as they could have eaten here And so it was agreed and performed and so her last Christmass was as kind and Charitable as those of former Years SECT XXII Of the Marriage of our onely Daughter and her Death in Childbirth the same Year yet leaving a Son IT is not to be wondred at that she should write so many Pages of this Come-Tragedy as I called another Providence mentioned before a Trage-Comedy whose Pious Kindness was so mindful in Holy Prayers and Praises not of her self alone but of her Honoured Friends I shall touch but one or two for Instance and I cannot single out any more suitable than of those Right Honourable Ladies whose sweet Condescension not only vouchsafed to give this our Dear Daughter frequently their kindest and familiar Conversation but borrowed and desired hers almost whole Summers divers Years Concerning these young Ladies thus her Pen speaks The Lady Ann the Lady Mary and the Lady Essex Rich had a Pious Education under â—he tender Care of the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick their Aunt whose great Care of them and Kindness and Love to them supplied and over-shot the measures of what could be expressed to them by the tenderest Mother Of two of their Marriages she writes thus December the 11th 1673. The Vertuous and Right Honourable the Lady Mary Rich was Married to Mr. Henry St. John the Eldest Son of Sir Walter St. John a Pious good Family and an ancient Barronet and great Estate Blessed Lord thou hast abundantly enriched them with the Blessings of the Nether Springs full streams in the good things of this Life let it not be their all but turn these Waters into Wine give them the Blessings of the Vpper Springs the plentifull Effusions of thy Spirit flowing into their Hearts and Souls that they may build up each other in their most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life June 16. 1674. The Honourable Lady Essex Rich was Married to Mr. Daniel Finch Eldest Son to his Father then Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of England Good Lord give them the Blessings of thy Right-hand and continue to them the Blessings of thy Left-hand also But let not their Portion be only in this Life let thine own Prerogative have the Supremacy in their Hearts and accelerate and quicken them to thy Service that Glorifying thee on Earth they may be in Everlasting Glory with thee in Heaven Amen Amen I will mention no more like Instances and humbly beg Pardon if I have been too bold in touching these I now come to the Title of this Section and shall add nothing of my own only transcribe and that with Abbreviation what her Pious Pen hath left me not that one Word need to be retrenched upon other accounts but only to avoid Prolixity January 17. 1675. My Dear Husband and my Dear Child Margaret Walker went to London in reference to our great Concern her Marriage our onely one so dear to us She was Married February the 1st 1675. to Mr. John Cox Barrister of Grays-Inn His Father lived at Coggshall his Relations very honest good People and very well to live in the World God hath graciously provided for her a loving Husband a sober Person and I hope a good Man God consummated their Choice by Mr. Gifford a worthy good Man Minister of St. Dunstan's in the East in London whither she was accompanied by the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick with the chief of the Family from Warwick-House and with many other manifestations of Kindness God shined upon her and in all respects gave her a comfortable Day I draw the Curtain of a modest c. over the rest lest the Thankfulness of her who was so truly humble should incurr the unkind censure or suspicion of Vanity and concluding what I have omitted with these Words And with many other Favours God hath honoured them She proceeds Lord I desire to own thy Goodness as the Fountain Head from whence flows all Good to be enjoyed in the things of this Life and concerns of a better and more endurable Estate for their Souls advantage For which I beseech thee give them a capacious Heart to know love serve and enjoy thy self and vouchsafe them of the good things of this World what thou seest convenient for them and help them to be contented to be without what in mercy thou deniest them Good Lord keep both them and theirs inoffensive in this World and when they shall go hence and be no more in this Life Lord grant that where thou art they may be also in Eternal Glory Amen Amen Thus far the pleasant and more lightsome part Now follows what 's more dark and dolefull I have now a very smarty afflictive Dispensation from God to record very pressing by his afflictive Hand on us I acknowledge very deservedly for my Sins the Lord hath taken from us out of this Life our onely One the most dearly Beloved Daughter and Child of my choice Aâ—fections Mrs. Margaret Cox she was mâ—â—ried February the first 1675. The 19th 〈◊〉 November following she was Delivered of a Son Lord's Day seven a Clock in the Morning She continued pretty well two or three Days Tuesday following sickned of a Fever and dyed December the 5th 1675. But God in the midst of his just Judgments remembred his Mercy to us hath spared the little one to us Blessed be God for it and received the Motherless Babe into Covenant with himself by Baptism I Bless God he is the Son of good Parents his Father a very sober and a good Man his dear deceased Mother was a fine lovely handsome well accomplished Woman both in Nature and Grace to God's Praise I do make my Acknowledgments let it have no other Censure She was of a quick Apprehension modest humble discreet and of a good Judgment and well fitted for Family-Government and Imployment She had a sweet amicable Deportment and gracefull Behaviour these Endowments through God's Kindness to her rendred her very desirable to all that knew
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those
Affections that should continue Mutual Love Good Lord let that dear Chid she hath left behind her cement and joyn our Hearts in joynt Thankfulness unto thee and unite us one to another Lord give them thy choice Favours in Jesus Christ pardon of Sin with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and order and dispose for the best whatever may concern them and theirs as to a happy tendency to their well-being in this World and attaining of thy self in endless Glory I beseech thee be very gracious unto him whom thou hadst united so nearly to her in a sweet Conjugal Relation Lord I have sinned and he also suffered Good Lord let all Grace abound to him in all concerns in this Life and for a better and let her gain be his great Advantage joyning his Heart more closely to thy self Good Lord bless that single Posterity of his and ours left of her who was his dear Wife and our dearly Beloved Child I beseech thee be his God in Covenant with him and Lord give him the Efficacy of his Baptism that he may be thine by Grace and Adoption I beseech thee take full and early Possession of his Heart Good Lord keep out the Vanities and Follies of Childhood and Youth that while he is Young he may be a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Christ If thou seest it good to continue him in this Life I beseech thee grant that he may in his dear Mothers room Honour God in this World with an exemplary holy Life a choice Instrument of thy Glory Good Lord charge thy Providence with him in the whole course of his Life and make up all Relations to him in thy self Graciously support him in and through this World Good Lord preserve him from the Soul-ruining Evils of it and when thou wilt take him hence I beseech thee receive him to thy self in thy Everlasting Kingdom in the full Fruition of God in Glory Lord though thou was pleased to clip off so great a piece of the Comfort of my Life in this World denying my Vehement Desires and Requests with the many Prayers of thy People and our Christian Friends for the longer stay of our Dear Child with us in this World yet thou art not the less a God hearing Prayer but hast heard and granted to an higher End not here on Earth with us but in Heaven with thee received in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies to which Blessed Estate I beseech thee bring me and those Relatives very dear to me Good Lord sanctifie to us this Chastening Hand and though thou cuttest off the Streams my Comforts of this Life let not my Soul be as a parched Heath that receives no good but draw me to thy self the Fountain of durable Mercies give me those Living Waters from the Wells of thy Salvation the Light of thy Countenance with thy reconciled Face and Favour those Rivers that make glad the City of God Good Lord vouchsafe me the sweet refreshing gales and incomes of thy Spirit and with thy Grace conduct me off these ruff Seas of Sins and Sorrows to my desired Haven and Port in those Eternal Mansions of Glory where all in thee shall meet with full Enjoyments of God and one another with sweet acclamations of Thankfulness and Praises to thee our God for Ever for Ever Amen Amen Amen I have transcribed this long Paragraph without altering or changing the order of a Word if some may account it tedious who either have not been exercised with such Tryals or have other shorter and cheaper ways to relieve themselves against them let them use their own Methods without censuring or despising hers This was her Heart's Ease when she was overwhelmed pouring out her Complaints to God in secret was her best Anodine but I hope it will need no Apology with most and if it doth with any I 'll not run the risque of losing my Labour by attempting it where the Success is so doubtfull and unpromising I shall venture to enlarge this Section a little farther for three Reasons First To shew the ardour of her Zeal for the Spiritual good of this Child so exceeding dear to her which may be an Instructive Example to some Mothers or Grand-mothers to stir up the like towards their Descendants as nearly Related to them as this Child to her Secondly Because I foresee I shall not in the Body of this Book have much farther occasion to trouble the Reader with any long transcripts out of her Writings what remains being designed for the Appendix which will be entirely her own Lastly To imprint upon the Child due Sentiments of Gratitude to God and her I meet with many Expressions of most Pathetick Tenderness towards this dear Child who now next to my self was the Center in which all the lines of her strong Affections terminated July 14. 1679. Our dear sweet Child went to Coggshall to his Father's House the Lord preserve him from all Evil and Bless him and comfortably restore him to us again About a quarter of a Year after he returned well to us again Blessed be God for it We went four Miles from Home to visit a Friend our dear Child was preserved in an apparent Danger The hinder Wheel of the Coach was very like to have borne him down and gone over him as he was going into the Coach the Horses being disturbed by a strange Horse went away but through God's preventing Goodness I had a quick apprehension of the danger I suddenly pulled him away Blessed be our good God for this Deliverance of our dear Child he had no harm the Wheel durtied his Hat and Coat good Lord help me to live thy Praises who art the God of our Mercies Some may say these are small Matters but I say they are no small Evidences of a very thankfull sense of God's Mercies and will leave them inexcusable who are not thankfull for greater In the Year 1682. God was pleased to put me in fear of the speedy dissolution of our dearly beloved Grand-child He was in a languishing consumptive condition with other symptoms of the Disease His Breath was very short had lost his Appetite he looked very Pale was very Lean which imprest on my Thoughts that God would take him from me To his Righteous Will I laboured to submit but God was pleased to reverse the Sentence with a Blessing on means used the Prescriptions of Dr. H. whom we sent for from London to him and with my own great Care of him he recovered Strength to God's Blessing I ascribe the Praise who did not cast out my Petition Good Lord let this pledge of thy compassionating Mercy to me strengthen my Faith in the grant of my more Earnest Request that I may assure my self agreeable to thy Will of his Sanctification I beseech thee season his tender Mind with the savoury Knowledge of thy Blessed self Lord I do not ask of thee the Excesses and great things of this World not Earth but Heaven thy Blessed self I beseech thee put
him not off with any thing less than thy self No Lord I beg thou wilt with-hold the grandeur of this Life from him farther than thou wilt give him an Heart to lay it out to the best advantage of thy Glory on Earth the procuring a better Estate in Heaven those Everlasting Mansions where are durable Riches an Eternal weight of Glory purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ which good Lord grant unto him Amen Amen Amen June 19. 1688. My dear Grand-Child escaped by God's gracious Providence a very terrible Danger of being Wounded or sudden Death which danger she describes had not God's watchfull Compassion interposed I cannot express the terrible Consequence which might have happened I am not able to recount thy multiplied Mercies in delivering us from present Dangers and many we know not of For this and all good Lord accept as I would render them from a Heart sensible of thy Mercies my most gratefull Acknowledgments and in consideration of this I beseech thee make deep Impressions on the Heart of my poor Child and us his Parents concerned for him that he and we may live thy Praises Amen Amen I will satisfie my self with the Perusal of the rest and not trouble the Reader by transcribing more though all improved to Holy Purposes and the Reflections made with such warm Expressions as I conceive might be very apt to kindle the Flames of Devoutest Thankfulness in those who read them no words being more likely to affect the Hearts of others than those which so evidently proceed from the Hearts of those who Speak or Write them and feel what they utter according to the Advice good Bishop Felton used to give his Chaplains of which the Excellent Bishop Brownwrig was sometime one to steep their Sermons in their Hearts before they Preached them SECT XXIII Acts and Kinds of her great Charity THough the Title-page gives this Section a Right and Claim to one moiety of the whole I write concerning her yet I would have it interpreted with some grains of Allowance for alass how could any thing she gave be called her Charity who was a Wife or how could it be called great when all we both possessed had the whole been given could not in rigour bear that Epithete I will therefore account for both in a few words First therefore though a Wife she had a freedom of my little All where I was Cajus she was truly Caia according to the old Roman Phrase she had free access to whatever I was Master of so abundantly was I satisfied in her Integrity and Prudence and to touch so small a thing as a Testimony of her wise Care and our mutual Confidence to avoid the clog of many Keys she contrived to have five Locks open with one Key and had two made one for each of us that upon no occasion of the others Absence either of us might be shut out from what was kept under them and so for a few other Locks she provided double Keys one of which she kept the other hung up in my Study Now when any object of Charity offered it self she would serve the occasion as she also did for her own Expence out of my Store but would after always tell me to a Penny what she took which I have times without number not only excused her from but almost chid her for but she would not be perswaded to mend that Fault so tender was she Whereupon I told her I would ease us both of that needless and uneasie Trouble by allowing her a fixed certain Sum that she might have no shaddow of a Scruple left in using of it as she pleased I may indeed be ashamed to name it and it had been a niggardly and indecent Proportion had I had more than one competent Living but being as it was she would have no more only said merrily My Friend this shall not debarr me of my former Freedom which on my part it never did though on her part never was made use of The Summ was the rents of a small Farm of Nineteen Pound a Year which was always called hers and I used to call her my Landlady chearfully when I duly paid her Nine Pound ten Shillings on the half-years day and some little Perquisites about the Yard more than were spent in the Family which were also her Propriety and which might together amount to about Twenty two or Twenty three Pound a Year in the whole Out of which she cloathed herself very decently and many Poor very warmly and did much other good as I shall convinsingly evidence in what follows So true is the Saying Nullum numen doest si sit Prudentia Wise Contrivance will supply all other Defects And as an observing Gentlewoman said She never knew any had the Art so perfectly as Mrs. Walker of making a little shew a great deal or going a great way This small Pittance being absolutely her own her scrupulous Tenderness was freed from giving me account what she did with it and I from the irksome trouble of receiving it and what she spared out of it was properly her own Charity Now though to give more than her whole Allowance would be a lean and starvling Charity from those who have more than they know well what to do with yet our gracious Lord the most unexceptionable Judge of these Matters tells us the poor Widdow's two Mites was more than the bulky Summs which the Rich cast into the Treasuries of God out of their Abundance who rather squander their Superfluities than retrench from their Necessities to help the wants of the Indigent though I wish there were not too few even of such Squanderers And the Holy Apostle tells us If there be a willing Mind it is accepted according to what a Man hath and not according to what he hath not 2 Cor. 8.12 And I bear her Record that to her Power yea beyond her Power she was always willing and ready to communicate to the Wants of others for how strait soever her Ability might be she was not straitned in her own Bowels And though what she did from her own allowance was in strictest Sence her Charity only yet this only was not all her Charity for she having a joint Interest in what was mine she was sharer with me in the disposing or retaining of it and I can with Truth and Comfort testifie she never disswaded me from giving often encouraged me to give and would say to me on such occasions My Dear I think none of our Estate laid out so well as what is laid out so nor any part kept so safe as what is deposited in God's Hand and committed to his keeping But this is not all she would be over-ballanced against her own Inclination if there were Charity in the case She was not more averse from any thing than the enlarging our Family loved to have it as small as might be that it might be still and private free from disturbing Noise and distracting Diversions
the Saying be true a good Textuary is a good Divine she might have some pretence to that Character for though I will not say what is said of Apollos she was mighty in the Scriptures yet I may say truly the word of Christ dwelt richly in her and if David's delight in the Law of God made him Wiser than the Ancient yea than his Teachers she might be near as Wise as some of them considering that her Knowledge was not meerly Notional and Swimming in her Brain but Experimental and Practical She felt and tasted yea liv'd the Truths she knew and teaching her Children the grounds of Religion grounded herself more deeply in them Her Faith was strong by which she gave Glory to God not an Airy Fancy but a firm Perswasion built upon the Rock of Ages She knew whom she had Believed it may appear what Mettle that Shield was made of by the many Fiery Darts of the Devil so impetuously thrown at her and so incessantly for many Years and so successfully and so triumphantly quenched by it Her Charity that greatest of Graces the very Bond of Perfection the Crown of all the other and which covers a Multitude of Sins that Bud or Blossom of Glory which shall be full Blown and arrive at maturity in Heaven where it shall never fade or fail it was so fervent and fruitfull as may appear by what I have so truly written of it in a distinct Section that I dare appeal even to the most uncharitable and prejudiced Ill-will if it were not Eminent to Superlative Degree and Measure For her Patience which met with so many and so smarty Tryals both from God and Men yet had its perfect Work and by it she possessed her Soul in submiss and silent Acquiescence charging herself Humbly and Wisely but never charging God frowardly and foolishly meekly complaining to him never peevishly complaining of him Her Sympathy with others in their sufferings and sorrows was as signal as her Patience in her own And as she had very tender and strong Affections her usual saying was great Affection great Affliction And that they who had many Friends must needs have many Sorrows because they must share with them all in their Troubles and Crosses She had well learnt that Apostolical Lesson to Mourn with them that Mourn and bear others burthens and so fulfill the Law of Christ as I find her more than once express her self in Consolatory Letters many of which she wrote to her distressed Friends under calamitous Providences and would tell them she would willingly put under her Shoulder to ease the pressure of their loads they groaned under And would often from her own Experience declare That she judged the Griefs of others to be the biggest part of our uneasie disquietings in this Life But no Afflictions were so pungent and entered so deep into her pious tender heart as those of the Church of God and the tyranous Persecutions on those who suffered for the Gospel of Christ and for his sake were killed all the day long and counted as Sheep for the slaughter As the Hungarian French and Peidmount Protestants Her Pity to the Poor was very great not only in the cases touch'd before but in her care to rescue from present and eternal Ruine those who were desperately running into both To this end she ventured to take up several Beggar-boys and Girls at the Door and after cleansing them from their nastiness receiving them into the House of which some proved well and she obtain'd the end she aimed at but more untractable and deceived her Expectation and Desires yet this did not discourage her I shall give one Instance which will hardly meet with its paralell And as in many more like cases she exceeded most others so in this she out-did her self About three or four Years since there came a forlorn Creature begging to the Door a Girl of about Thirteen Years old in such a loathsome pickle as may stain my Ink to write and turn the stomachs of the Nice to read it almost eat up with Scabs and Vermine and as ignorant of God and Christ as if she had been born and bred in Lapland or Japan and scarce Rags to cover her yet this blunted neither the point nor edge of her Compassion but rather whetted and sharpned both When she had ask'd her many Questions both of her miserable Condition and Religion of the latter of which she knew not one syllable but that her Christian Name was Mary her Sir-name was Bun. The case seemed so desparate it almost posed and put her Pity to a Plunge what to do to rescue her from the very Brink and Precipice of Temporal and Eternal Ruine but while she was Eating what she sent her warm being well nigh starved she considered what might be done she feared if she dismissed her so her Ruine was next to inevitable and not to prevent that to her Power she judged inconsistent with the Love of God dwelling in her Heart She then resolved not on the shortest but the safest Course having engaged her to promise to be honest humble thankfull and a good Girl if she could be recovered She ordered clean Straw to be laid in an Out-House where she lodged and fed her until she procured a Charitable Neighbour to strip her cut off her Hair and wash her for it was not possible to cleanse her otherwise she also provided old Cloths to keep her sweet and warm then she used means to cure her Itch and when some Months had perfectly recruited her and made her like another Creature she cloathed her new took her into the House taught her the Catechism to read and do somewhat in the Family which might fit her for a Service and prevailed with a Rich Farmer who had Married one of our Maids to take her Apprentice promising to cloath her well She wrote a large and excellent Letter to perswade him besides discoursing with him He consented received her upon Trial but when she was to be legally bound that the latter Years of her Apprenticeship might compensate the unprofitableness of the first a new difficulty arose none could bind her validly but her Father or the Parish from whence she came many Messages and one or two special Messengers were sent but all in vain What should she do more she resolves to go herself orders the Coach to be ready to carry her the next Day intreated me to go with her as far as North-Hall twenty Miles distant a troublesome Journey cross the County We came to Sir William Lemmon's because the Girl told us her Father work'd constantly with him it was our unhappiness that Worthy Person was from Home and though we found the Girls Father no words could make the least Impression on him or extort other answer from him but That she was a naughty Girl He would neither meddle or make with her We might do what we would not so much as once I thank you for all your Cost and
which nothing can be hid and as easily will detect it as earnestly detest it and severely avenge it Her Modesty which you heard before she called the Womans Ornament was so undeflowred that she loathed in others what had the slightest appearance of staining or tarnishing that orient Beauty and adorning Comeliness and which she strove to plant in her Daughters as the fairest Flower in that Garden which she cultivated with her best Industry and for herself I can and do give her this true Testimony I never heard a Word proceed from her Mouth of unpure defiling Sound or Sence or of least tendency to either Her Garb and Dress her Carriage and Gestures and her whole Conversation were all of a Piece with her Communication which was always Savoury Seasoned with Salt that it might Minister Grace to them who heard it I confess I reckon neither a slattering fordidness in Dress nor Pusillanimity to speak out in reproving Sin or Sinners as occasion required any branches of Modesty as I fear some do in respect of Garb or Words for I have shewed before both how exact her Neatness and how great her Courage was to make and keep her Faithfull to the Interest of God and Souls The Righteous is bold as a Lyon and so was she But this hindred not her Meekness she was as meek as a Lamb in her own Cause though bold as a Lion in the Cause of God no true Vertues interferre or are inconsistent I could prove this by Instance She indeed was quick and prone to be hasty this was if any the Sin of her Constitution but aware of it she doubled her Guards to prevent a Breach upon her weak Side She had gathered more than five Pages of apposite Scriptures which exhort to meekness of Spirit as I touched before page 74. The third of which is Psal 18.23 I was also upright before him and kept my self from mine eniquity Which I conclude she did upon that account because she found herself liable to be surprized by that Infirmity of her Natural Temper Hastiness the contrary to Meekness those Sins being most properly called our own which proceed from our Constitution Callings and prevailing Custom And the next is Job 13.31 If I did despise the cause of my Man-Servant or my Maid-Servant when they contended with me Which she set down to keep her from being angry without hearing their Excuses if they had any to extenuate a Fault or not beyond Proportion to it if they had none and many or her Servants as well as my self can witness if she had exceeded in her Reproofs or Chiding she would chide herself more than she had done them and pray them to forgive her so much more willing was she to bear Shame than Guilt She proceeds Cease from anger and forsake wrath fret not thy self in any wise to do evil Psal 37.18 And next A froward heart shall depart from me But I shut the Book or I should with transcribing and remarking fill a Sheet and weary my Reader She was a very discreet wise and prudent Woman and of a good Judgment she was indeed sometimes pretty positive stiff tenacions and adhesive to her Sentiments which I have gently reproved as being a little over-weaning and too well conceited of her own Wisdom which I remember with great regret but clear her and confess my own Errour without any regretting what I now do therein for I must acknowledge that the Event for the most part proved she was in the right and persisted not out of Humour but because her Opinion was well grounded and fixed upon good Reason She was an excellent Proficient in satisfied Acquiescence and had learned the Art of Contentment to Perfection she had attained to a Ne plus ultra in the things of this Life she did not only not desire but was afraid of being greater or richer in this World than God had vouchsafed to make us she chose to follow not to lead or dictate to the Motions of Divine Providence and she knew my Mind so well she needed not to do it when we were alone but she hath often said before many Witnesses what I am about to relate When many Friends who knew her Humour would be saying I would be shortly so or so preferred I suppose in Merriment rather than that they really thought so she would reply and intreat them to hold their Peace saying Such Discourse was very unacceptable to her and lest their vain Breath should Infect me though I thank God whose Sacred Name I would not use in vain I never found my self susceptive of that Infection she would drop such preventing Physick What can we desire that we want What have they who have so many Preferments more than we but a greater Account to give at the Day of Judgment We have enough to answer all the ends of Necessity and Decency and somewhat to spare for Charity we know not what it is to be in straits and often lend when others who have so much more are forced to borrow It is a low and easie thing in our Circumstances to be content it is too cheap a Return for our Enjoyments it concerns us to be highly thankfull the Good Lord make us so And therefore I pray find some other Discourse and leave this idle and unwelcome Twattle So freely would she speak when they had teazed and warmed her not to say vexed her with their impertinent Harrangs And indeed she was very thankfull what a sweet Spirit of Praise breaths in all I have transcribed from her Papers and she did truly abound in this Grace She had well learned the Apostle's Lesson In all things to give thanks she blessed the Lord at all times his Praise was continually in her Mouth She seldom enterprized any thing without Prayer and as seldom finished it without Praise comparatively she esteemed Praise much more excellent than Prayer not only as it is more like the Imployment of the Holy Angels and the Spirits of Just Men made perfect but as it is less selfish and hath a more immediate aspect upon God our own Necessities constrain us to cry to God for Relief and the worst Men will Pray yea and make Vows when they are in fear but only good Men will return to pay their acknowledgments when their turn is served all the ten Lepers cryed for Mercy but where are the nine there was but one of them found to render Thanks St. Gregory the Great gives this Reason why of all the holy Men of God mentioned in the Sacred Oracles David only is called the Man after God's own Heart Because he wrote the Book of Psalms those Divine Praises Praise is so agreeable to the Heart of God he that offereth Praise glorifieth me that the Man of Praise is the Man after God's own Heart and this good Woman hath left this comfortable Evidence and ground of hope behind her that she is gone to the place where Eternity will be spent in endless Hallelujahs
and Songs of Thanksgivings who did so anticipate that State and Work whilst here below She hath left sixteen whole Pages of one form of Thanksgiving which she begins thus Lord what shall I render to thee for all thy unspeakable Benefits in thy Mercies to me I beseech thee in the remembrance of them let thy Holy Spirit excite and stir up in my Heart a thankfull Acknowledgment Lord I bless thee for thy self in whom all Perfection is Eternal and Unchangeable an Everliving and Immortal God filled with all adorable Excellency the Author and Original of all things the first Principle of all good who art most amiable to an Intellectual Eye most adequate and proportionable most suitable to Immortal Beings Thou Lord art the Felicity and Bliss of Souls c. And so she proceeds sixteen whole Pages without any vain Tautologies only beginning the several Paragraphs with Lord I bless thee or the like this is written the most curiously of any thing I yet have found of hers and continues to the End with most raised Fervours of Holy Praises I can scarce forbear to say with flowing streams of sweet and Pious Eloquence I will venture my Reader 's Candour to excuse my adding the last Lines I bless thee for the hopes I have of a glorious Resurrection when thou wilt be glorified in thy Saints thou wilt say to the North give up and to the South keep not back that thy Sons may be brought from far and thy Daughters from the ends of the Earth and all as Faithfull Depositories shall restore to thee at that universal Jubilee then shall my Dust arise and Praise thee I bless thee for thy Kingdom afree Donation and Inheritance of thy Saints there shall be no pricking Briar or grieving Thorn when I shall neither fin nor sorrow any more but for ever be in the Exaltation of Eternal Bliss where thy Angels Cherubims and Seraphims adore and worship thee with the highest fervour of Zeal and Love and where my Soul shall shine in its full Strength in thy Everlasting Praises Amen Amen Amen And there is not one Line less warm and savoury in all the other than are this Beginning and Conclusion of it The time would fail me to recount and reckon up all the other Graces in which she was Eminent and to blazon their Lustre and reflect their Brightness The tenderness of her Conscience which was very remarkable as I could Evidence in many Particulars this Pulse of her Soul beat very quick but withall was very even and uniform she used not to strain at Gnats and swallow Cammels Her Rule was in dubious Cases always to chuse the safest to the best of her Judgment not to consult with Flesh and Blood and be swayed by the Advice they suggested to do nothing rashly but with due and prudent Deliberation She was affraid of Sin as Sin and therefore of all Sin and would abstain from all appearance of Evil. Though she was not such a Stoick as to esteem all Sins equal yet she esteemed none in it self little because there is no little God to sin against no little Law to be despised no little Heaven to be lost no little Hell to be endured But an Almighty God a Royal Law an Heaven of unconceivable Glory and an Hell of endless and easeless Torments were concerned in all and it renders the least Sin in its own Nature a very great one to venture on it boldly against the light and dictates of Conscience Her Care to improve that Inch of precious Time on which so vast an Eternity depends was very signal She squandered not an Hour scarce suffered a Moment to run waste she used she knew no Games nor needed other to relax or recreate her Spirits but vicissitude and variety of commendable Imployment the change of Business sufficiently relieved her when she was weary of one she counted it a Refreshment to set upon another As a Traveller who sometimes Rides and sometimes Walks but still proceeds continues his Journey changes his Posture but not his Design and few ever made Religion their Business more intently and with fewer Interruptions Her publick Spiritedness should not be forgotten the concerns of the Nation especially of the Church lay very near her Heart She preferred Jerusalem before her chief Joy I will wrap up this Section with two which were diffused and spread over all the rest Her Zeal and her Humility Zeal is not so properly a distinct peculiar Grace as the Cream and Flower of them all the Oil which swims upon the waters of the Sanctuary the Varnish which both preserves them from fading and gives a shining advantageous Lustre to all the Colours with which the lively Picture of the new Creature is drawn not a distinct piece of the Divine Armour but the Edge and Keenness the Furbishing and Brightness both of offensive and defensive Arms. Her Zeal was very vigorous and lively she knew not what it was to be dull and sluggish Whatever her Hand found to do she did it with all her Might and Nature which too often is the remora of Grace in her was a nimble and useful Hand-maid to it She had an agile active Body Spare and Lean feared to be Fat saying She hated to be clogged with a foggy bulk of Flesh and of a vivacious sprightly Soul and these streams being in the right Channel Whafted her as Wind and Tide to her desired Port and Harbour that she was never becalmed or Wind-bound but Sailed amain and kept on her Course with swiftest Expedition till she had finished it with Safety and with Joy not that I ascribe it solely or chiefly to these but principally to the Divine Gales of the Holy Spirit of God so freely and plenteously vouchsafed to her that Wind which Bloweth where it listeth And for ever Blessed be his Goodness which so often filled her Sails Lastly She was cloathed with Humility as the Apostle counsels this I might call her Dust-gown for the aptness of the Allusion but it hung not so loose about her but was girded on with the Girdle of Truth about her Loins she wore it constantly no dress was more becoming herself or others in her Account she studied to bring it into Fashion by her Example and Advice she bought several of Mr. W. A's Treatises of that Subject to give to Friends those who received them will attest it and I hinted before she had made preparations to write a Tractate of it Amongst other things she had to say of it she had prepared this Encomium That it is the Foundation that gives Stability the Strength which gives Security the Ornament that reflects Beauty and the Completion which gives the finishing stroaks to all other Graces I shall not after all this need to draw her Character distinctly if I do any thing in that it shall be added in the close of all I am now arrived at my Mournfull Heavy Loss and her much waited for and desired Gain and great
God with humble earnest Supplication which may help ward off the Blow which may fall heavy on the Churches God will set his Mark on the Mourners in Zion and will hide them in the Day of his fierce Anger that the destroying Angel shall not hurt them I have much wondred at the diverting of Judgments but I fear the longer God bears with and the higher his Hand is lifted up the more weighty will it be when it falls But to withhold it Pray Pray the fervent Prayer of the Righteous prevails much oft puts God to a Mercifull Retreat when in his provoked Anger he is going forth against a Nation or People Oh! but they must be clean Hands that lay hold on him that is of purer Eyes than to behold Iniquity Good Mr. Ph. beware of warping from the streight Rule of God's Word by which every Man's Work must be tried it will be your best Preservation in Evil times if God should call you out to bear Witness to his Truth which to decline may cause God to lead you forth with the workers of Iniquity therefore the Psalmist Prays that Integrity and Vprightness may preserve him the Vpright are God's Delight I remember the Inscription on Abraham's Shield was Vprightness to which was annexed against all Fears that might shake his Faith God that can compensate and make up all that his People can lose or suffer for him in this World promised that he would not only be his Shield but his exceeding great Reward which Promise Moses eyed on good Consideration making the best choice to acquit Courtly Pleasures and Preferments he well knew they would last but for a short Season he took his Happy Lot with God's People to suffer Affliction rather than Sin Happy he though he passed through a barren Wilderness in which God often proves his People whether they will be content to wave the things of this Life to possess a better Inheritance than an Earthly Canaan those durable Riches prepared for those who are accounted Worthy of which Blessed Number good Lord grant good Mr. Ph. you may be found Then after twenty Lines of a Business which concerned himself written with much Wisdom Kindness and Faithfulness which I pass over She proceeds I am sure I do heartily desire your Welfare in this Life and Godliness being sought in the first place the good things of this World as may be good for you may be added to you The Promises are conditional 't is a hard thing to be a good Christian not easie to be a good Minister which not to be are the worst of Men and will find the severest Account for their own and others Souls over whom God hath placed them Watchmen and Over-seers of the Flock of Christ for which Work I am persuaded the Grace of God bestowed upon you shall not be in vain My Friend excuse this Freedom I have used to you from Plenary Affection I confess it Impertinent to suggest to you who are so much more knowing and conversant with Books especially that which excells all others the Holy Scriptures from which you may be furnished to every good Work for Doctrine and Life I have sent you a Book more worthy your acceptance for the Author's sake than mine I commend him to you as a Pattern of a strict holy Life so conformable to our Saviour's he was always doing good read look on him and doe likewise I am sensible of the Trouble given you by a long Letter therefore no more but to subscribe my self as indeed I am good Mr. Ph. Your truly Loving and Affectionate Friend Elizabeth Walker Sept. 19. -- 83. A Second Letter to the same Person Of which I will omit much to prevent being tedious and I fear this concluding Paragraph may seem too long My good Friend Mr. Ph. I Truly would as may be acceptable and my capacity reach not be wanting in real Friendship the like very gratefull to me The reminds of a future Estate which is the greatest concern we have to mind in this Life which if neglected the Errour cannot be retrieved Oh how vigilant should I be my Enemy is so One Soul is more worth in the Estimation of our Saviour than the whole World the price hath made the purchase so Oh! that I could better improve my little remaining time the Talent my Lord hath intrusted me with that I may not be idle or worse found in the works of darkness He that had least was accountable therefore shall not I be excusable from my little measure As the Eyes of Servants are to their Masters for their Work as well as Wages so must mine be to him for his Assistance and Help that of his own he may receive But where God gives much he requires the more Good Mr. Ph. God hath committed to your trust more than to a private Capacity in Abilities and Advantages placed you a Steward over his Houshold you are strictly required to be Faithfull Be so that God may reward and crown your Labours in his Service with that that far excells the fading Diadems of this World which puts a Lye in our right-hand promiseth its prostitutes more than it hath to give Be not deceived it is Vanity and Lyes your Work is Wages It was our Saviour's Meat and Drink He told his Disciples so when he was about his Father's Work not only in his publick Ministry in which he was constant but also as a pattern left you He was always doing good Though he met with hard and rough usage from Men expect the like it is no untrodden Path but for Encouragement if for Righteousness sake Your's is the Kingdom of Heaven What can be given in Exchange The more you doe or suffer the greater your reward The Blessings of this Life are not excluded let God's Work have the preheminence the first place in your Heart and Practice and as may be good for you they shall be added to you I observe from the last Chapter of Saint John our Saviour's great care for his Disciples at his parting with them As they lacked nothing whilst he was with them as themselves on that question had confest so then our Saviour to strengthen their Faith in their Dependence on him he before had promised to be with them to the end of the World and rather than they should want our Saviour works a Miracle but with the provision he gives but one single Invitation Come and dine as if he would intimate he had greater things to bestow on them more than the Meat that perisheth the Bread of eternal Life and as they had freely received so he would have them freely give For which purpose our Saviour singles out Peter not so much to mind him of a former unkindness but more earnestly to engage his watchfull diligence for the future Peter not as exclusive of the rest but he as a representative of the rest our Saviour instead of one Invitation to dine adds a threefold Injunction to feed his
thy Soul and with all thy Strength the second is like the first Thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self On this brief Account Christ put so great a stress he said On these hang all the Law and the Prophets And St. James saith 28. If ye fulfill the Royal Law according to the Scriptures thou shalt love thy Neighbour as thy self which God requires not in Word only but in Deed also relieving their Necessities if any be naked or destitute of daily Food to feed and cloath them to say depart in Peace and give them not those things needfull to the Body it will not profit therefore with-hold not good from them to whom it is due if it be in the Power of thy Hand to doe it it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive He that gives to the Poor shall not lack but he that hideth his Eyes shall have many a Curse Do not say I have but little now to give but I will give hereafter remember the poor Woman's Mite was more in Christ's Esteem than those who had of their abundance cast into the Treasury Dear Johnny It may be something might be spared from unnecessary Expence buying Fruit or the like of which too much may be prejudicial to thy Health and may be laid out to a better account Do not give grudgingly by constraint lest it be as the Lame or Blind which was not to be brought to God like Cain's Sacrifice which he brought with an unwilling mind not acceptable to God Let the object stir up thy Compassion that thou mayst not give too sparingly God loves a chearfull giver Dear Johnny He that gives to the Poor lends to the Lord he that makes all Grace to abound will repay thee in temporal and spiritual Blessings good Measure shaken and pressed together and running over shall be given to thee God hath given many Promises to the Charitable to hint but a few The Lord will deliver him in time of Trouble and will not deliver him to the Will of his Enemies The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive and he shall be Blessed upon the Earth The Lord will strengthen him upon the Bed of Languishing he will make all his Bed in his Sickness Psal 41. For thy Encouragement read Isaiah 58. Yield Obedience to God's Command He hath said Deut. 7. If there be among you a poor Man thou shalt not harden thy Heart not shut thy Hand against thy poor Brother thou shalt shurely give unto him and thy Heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him but thou shalt open thy Hand wide unto thy poor and to thy needy for for this thing shall the Lord bless thee in all thou puttest thy Hand unto Dear Johnny Thou art also bound by an obligatory Promise to thy Grandfather and to me we have sometimes given thee Money for this Purpose to inure thee betimes to be Charitable that something of it thou mightest give unto the Poor as thou hast promised a Penny in every Shilling it is but a little do not withold that lest it become an accursed thing to thee like Achan's wedge of Gold at the Last Day the Day of Judgment This duty of Charity in right performance of it will be a distinguishing Character of those who shall stand at Christ's Right-hand from those who shall stand at his Left-hand whose Hands were as strait as their Hearts were hard they would have no Pity on the Poor therefore they shall find none But Christ will say unto them Depart ye Cursed into Everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels with that Infernal Company But those at Christ's right-hand which fed the hungry cloathed the naked visited the sick and imprisoned which Christ will take as done unto himself he will reward with the Kingdom of Heaven Dear Johnny Make thee friends of the Mammon of this World that when this Life fails thou mayst be received into everlasting Habitations Dear Johnny As God may bless thee with the things of this World let not thy little at present be the measure of greater plenty He that sows sparingly shall reap spearingly but he that sows bountifully shall reap bountifully not only in this Life but in that to come There are degrees of Glory in Heaven the better here the happier hereafter though not of merit but of Grace God will pass by the Imperfections of his People which cleave to their best performance Dear Johnny With other religious Duties continue thy custom of private Prayer at least twice a day Morning and Evening besides publick and family Prayer Ejaculatory Prayer is also of great Benefit it is short but holy Desires lifting up thy heart to God Let them be thy last thoughts before sleep that God may give thee as his Beloved sleep the like as soon as thou wakest in the Morning before more solemn Prayer and with both render him Praise for the Mercy thou liest down in peace and risest in safety always under God's Protection These holy Desires may be oft sent to Heaven and bring thee Blessings the World cannot give and will defend thee from the Sin and Vanity of it keeping thy heart in a good frame they may be as the Angels ascending and descending upon Jacob's Ladder where God is above it ready to receive thee that thy return to secular Employment may be sanctified and blest that God may by thy holy wrestlings with him as he did Jacob bless thee in thy way to Canaan and New Jerusalem above And in thy more lengthened Prayer with thy own necessities and receipts from God remember the Church and People of God as need requires with Prayers and Praises Go to God with filial Fear and holy Reverence of Body and Mind God is in Heaven by his Greatness Superiority and Majesty thou on Earth in Weakness and Indigency Bring thy wants to his all-sufficient Fullness and immense Goodness ready able willing to supply all thy Necessities beg thee pardon of thy Sins and what thou needest for the sake merits and ever-prevaling Intercession of Jesus Christ Ask that thou mayst receive his holy Spirit as the Seal of his Love to thee With the imputed Righteousness of Christ reconciling thee to God Beg that thou mayst also have an inherent Righteousness from him renewing thee in the Spirit of thy Mind into his Image that thou mayst become one with him his Law being writ on thy Heart that he may guide thee by his Counsel in this troublesome World that no temptation may be above thy strength These things ask with thy daily Bread which implies the supply of all the necessities of humane Nature and be not desirous of more than God sees good for thee and for all the Receipts for Soul and Body be thankfull forget not to render Praises to God for what he bestows on thy self and others Forget not Zion pray for the peace of Jerusalem they shall prosper that love her Pray for the Conversion of Enemies that the