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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A96195 The VVelsh-mans postures, or, The true manner how her doe exercise her company of souldiers in her own countrey in a warlike manners with some other new-found experiments, and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow. 1643 (1643) Wing W1332; Thomason E89_3; ESTC R12171 4,934 11

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The VVelsh-Mans Postures OR The true manner how her doe exercise her company of Souldiers in her own Countrey in a warlike manners with some other new-found experiments and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow Vp Morgan up Shinkin Maurice T●●sie ●…nted in the yeare When her did her enemy jeere 1642. THE WELCH-MANS Postures OR The true manner how her doe exercise her Souldiers in her owne Country Together with some other new-found experiments and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow THough her love not to remember Kenton Battaile not how the bullets slew about her cares like Bees nor how her lost her left arme and did afterward with her right arme and hand write her Welsh Almanack yet that her may give good instructions to all her loving Country-men how to defend her selfe in Warlike Disciplines and learne to keep her crownes uncrackt and come off with awle her lives and limbes her will now show her the way how to order and handle her Musquets Guns and Pikes according to her Welsh manners and her owne experiences First her desire all her Countrey-men to ca-know her must not be drunk not reele but stand bolt upright as her stakes do in hee hedges or fields no her doe not meane fields but her mean files And moreover her must stand right in her rankes and pedigrees that is Pouldron to Pouldron or Noddle to Noddle or Iobber-nole to Iobber-nole and keepe her rankes close if her smell not too strong● that is her must stand by her Countrey-mans shoulder and must stand by her side be it right or wrong close to her And then her must remember to teach her wife and all her children not to talke or breake her pates to keep silence and her must remember that silence is best when her is taught as for publishing and speaking her minde in bid English and therefore let her be sure alwayes to keepe silly-sence in her mouth waking or s●eeping and let her tell all her stories and long tales and write Almanacks and this her present worke in silly-sence And moreover if her pick her Country-mans pocket at a fayre ●et her doe it to her right hand or dive in her Country-womans placket let her doe it to her right hand and if her toast her sheese by the fire side let her doe it to her right hand or if draw he●●●eat sword five yards long and her Tagger let her hold both in her right hand valiantly and that will make her in her next posture as if her were Saint George but if her enemy come too fast upon her in a furious manner let her ●unne away as her were not halfe so valiant as her were thought to be but if her doe fall to discourse of her pedigree let her brag as her were in Wales and as her were King Arthurs owne couzen and as her were ancient Gentle-man of Pig-house or as her were descended from a hog-house and let her alwayes commend her selfe as her were better then ever her was Now her meaning in these words as her were is this that her must ever turne the cat in the par● and speake and doe contrary to all trueths and verities for if her have never a penny in her purse her must talke and do●nmince●s as her were a great She●tleman and kaine and bastinado her young ●ouldiers if her have never looke her enemy in the face her must talke as if her were as valiant as her Countrey-man Pendragon her must speake as her were true honest valiant faithful and loving to all her Countrey-men though her meant no such matter First her will shew H●r Postures for her Gun FIrst silence or silly-sence Stand e●● in her rankes Streighten h●●●iles F●ces to her let●…ag A●●e you were before Faces to her right crag Asse y●● were Faces about that is where her ●an●e ●a● Faces to her valiant Captaine SHoulder her Gun or lay her gun upon her lest Crag Take downe her Gun Hold her Gun fast behind Keep up her nose Look in her arse or Gun-hole Put dust in her Arse Then put one bullet in her arse Put another ●ullet in her arse Knocke her downe on the ground Draw out her stopping sticke or muckle pricke Handle her stopping stick Put it into her Arse-hole R●m down her bullet into the bottome of her Arse-hole Draw out her stopping stick Put it in her right place again ●ift up her Guns nose Further into her nog-ing stick L●●ke to her fire-pan ●●ep her arse cleare Blow the loose dust out of her arse Then wipe her arse Let not her nose drop in her arse as her wife doth when she makes puddings Guard her arse with her two first fingers Open her arse with her finger Powder her arse Shut her arse againe C●ck her ropes end Blow her ropes end Try her ropes end Open her arse with her finger Stand stiftly to her guns arse Put out her truest leg Pull downe her Cocke Give fire to her arse-hole Make her shitt bullets And let her goe off with a ponder in the Tivells name Take her gunne out of the nogging sticke Draw out her muckle prick Se●ure her guns arse Put more dust in her arse Prime her arse againe again Shoulder her gun again on her left crag Keep her leggs close And march in good fashion with her nose in the leaders arse if her smel not too strong of toasted sheese Her Postures for her Pike TAke her pike in her Thee●v●sh hand Hold up her long pike-staffe Take order with her pikes Charge her pikes Str●ke with her pike-staffe Push her pikes in her bellies Put her p●kes to her brest Shake her pikes Shoulder her pike alwayes on the right side of her crag Take order with her pikes Carry her pikes over her heads Draw her pikes after her Let her pike stand stiffe Cheek her pikes Nose her pikes Charge to her right leg Put shoulder to her pike again Stand to her pike Make her pike stand againe Then charge to her left crag Charge between her leggs Cary her pikes on her should sea or right crag alwayes when her marches Stand to her pike-staffe Charge under her hands Charge under her leggs Charge her pikes betweene her leggs and draw forth her long sword Then take order with her pike Come up to push of pikes Then breake her pike and run away with her other peice and sweare her did breake in her enemies bellies If her pike be hole then retreat with her pikes And never be beaten back with her pikes but when ●er see her owne blood Fling away her pikes and take her he●●s for her can tel that at such times one payre of heels is worth two paire of h●… And Qui non dissimulare n●● est vivere that is he that cannot ●●l how to d●ssemble and double his files must not live in this round age ANd further for her Gun let her as soone as her hath presence and given fire let her fall
off and never come up again to her first Rankes but leave all the wings and fly away with her own wings ty'd to her heeles as her have heard that her cozen Mercury hath for after her Gun hath once 〈◊〉 bullets let her give over least her fall into ●…owring and make her owne selfe b● shit her owneselfe for feare without command or authoritie● In her marches let her alwaies keep a good distance from the enemy at least a mile or a mile and a halfe for her love not her enemy so well to come neare her but if her must come in h●… sight let her make her Gun shit bullets in her face or else keep her ●st with her long pole or staffe with a pike at the end a●… now her will shew her how to performe her exercises and 〈◊〉 of pikes another way Advance and hold her p●kes or hop-poles as her doe h● Welch ●ookes or as her hold her pikes in pushing against 〈◊〉 country mens packes and coun●●y wo●●a●s pellies and let h●… boldly holding her in her true hand if her have any Order 〈◊〉 pikes though her doe not order her selfe and let her keepe he● selfe and her pikes alwaies within her owne borders of Wal●● and never stir a soote to these Battayles and then her shall o●der her pikes in good fashion Shoulder her pikes and let her lye on her shoulder as he● Welch hooke ●oe● halfe before and halfe behind but her had 〈◊〉 ther car●y any thing on her shoulders to her Country Mark then shoulder the pikes her had rather eate her Welch sho●●ders of Mutton or sheepes armes at home rather than ●●avail●… the warres to shoulder her pikes and be beaten backe and shoulders as her was at Coven●●y and at other places let her cha● her pikes that they would prove more valiant than her selfe 〈◊〉 when her meetes with her country-women her pikes put her charge when her come to pu●h a pike with her yet her had 〈◊〉 ther ●un her pikes in her country podies bellies and so co●● off valiantly Trayle and draw her pikes after her as a Tortase or a gr●● Snake doth her long tayles but her shall hang and draw he 〈◊〉 fore her shall get her to draw or traile any more pikes after h●● and so draw her into danger of the Redcoats and have 〈◊〉 Coxcombe cut and her owne plud drawne which her cannot abide to see Keepe her pike next to her cheeke and let her checke keep her colours or if her checke doe not keepe it let her nose keepe and ●eare her ●●lours in the middest of her face and march for most And these are some of her waies and fashions how to use her Armes her Gun her roapes end or matches and her pikes against back or pelly but as for using her leggs all true Bri●taines and all her country men can doe that out of her owne magnani●ities and vallours and can run away without any directions for at such times one pare of legges is better than two pare of hands to bring her into her owne country and bid farewell a●mes and bullet-shiting Guns The Welch-mans new-found experiences HAng a dog in a Crab●tree and her will never love Varges afterwards If the head of a Foxe or of a Wolfe be hanged in a Dove-house neither Pole-cats Weezels nor any thing that will either hurt the pigeons or suck their eggs will enter therein Probatum est A combe made of the right horne of a Ram doth take away the head-ach being applyed on the right side of the head if tho pained head be combed therewith If the paine be on the left side of the head then a combe made of the left horne of a Ram doth take it away if it be rightly combed therewith If any souldier be in fear of his life in so much that her is afraid ●o beshit her breeches eate but one knot of the Root called Mullen or else the rine of a Pome-granard and it will bind her fast behind The juyce of Broom mixt with the oyle of Radish or of mustard-seed is a very safe remedy for the killing and destroying of a souldiers enemies his back-biter called an English Moabite with a list down her back like a Roane-horse New cheese wrapt or folded in the dry leaves of the hearbe called Dragon preserves the same from being mouldy or from ●…ennesse Probatum est as her did at Edge-hill Whosoever will preserve her podies from violent danger le● her keep her safe from going to Wars at Edge-hill and whosoever would live long let her keepe her selfe from wine and Women Probatum est IT is truly reported that many men who travaile toward● the Holy Land and into Arabia the Desart have beene transformed into beasts and such like creatures only a Country-man of hers who would needs goe see fashions as other pilgrims did did only cary some good Welsh cheese which did preserve him from being transformed such vertue hath good cheese over those foule fiends in that Countrey Hang a roasted dog in a dove-house as her do in Wales and al● the Pigeons in the whole County will resort thither and the● take them and kill them roast some bake some and stew some and boyle the rest Probatum est An excelent approved thing to make a sat body slender light First her goe ●nd enter her selfe a voluntary souldier where her shall be● same to lye hard and fare hard if that will not performe the worke then Secondly let her strive be file leader or be placed in the front of the Army or Battaile Especially if there be an enemie in opposition to her if her be not shot with a bullet after two or three fireings or else loose an arme or a legg he hath Cuckolds luck but if her be hit and lose her arme or her left leg as her did at Kenton battle her will warrant her her shall grow slender and have a thin body and be far lighter then ever her was before And to advance this worke forwards let her eate but two cloves of garlick in a morning and then nothing till noone but an ounce of Welsh cheese toasted and an ounce of Rye bread and a little faire water If this do not performe the thing I will for ever suffer in good mens opinions but her do know it to be true Probatum est And so her have done with these her known and tryed experiences and will cease till her set out her skills in physick and in all the other seaven liberall sciences vale du humah FINIS