Loins and Bum did meet In a Rebellious Consult where The B ch as Speaker took the Chair And with an uncouth-hollow sound The following Treason did propound Brethren quoth he you know the Head Makes us toil and sweat for Bread Yet nothing to our Lot doth fall But idle Gut consumes it all My Friends if you 'll be rul'd by me We will shake off this Tyranny If Head and Belly will have Meat Let them toil for 't with Hands and Feet Agreed says Back I vow and swear For them I 'll no more Burthens bear Content says Bum if it be your Will Fot I love dearly to sit still Says Feet I 'll no more Errands run The Loins say Brethren it is done The Hands vow they would work no more And wish they 'd been as wise before The Members thus in Holy League Did bless themselves for this Intrigue But suddenly the Hands grew weak The Feet grew numb the Loins did shake The Back was feeble the Bum grew poor And Breech the Chair-man loud did roar Pray cram the Gut and we 'll rebel no more MORAL It 's hop'd this will not be forgot By those who form'd the Tunbridge Plot Old Aesop was a Man of Sense Such Doctrines never did dispense That People should refuse Support And pine themselves to starve the Court. FAB III. The Hermit and the Soldier A Pious Hermit seeing a Man of Blood Come strutting thro' his solitary Wood Accosts him thus Dear Brother why do you In Human Blood and Gore your Hands imbrue Leave off that Trade be ' Partner in my Cell Read pray and think and save your Soul from Hell The Soldier look'd stern But at last did reply I am wiling to learn And G zds I 'll comply We Men of the Sword Are not worth a T d But are basely kept under Nor have Pay nor have Plunder A plague on the Peace Which makes our Gain cease And seeing it is so With the Hermit I 'll go Till the Drums beat again and the Trumpets do blow MORAL Just so the Jacks their desperate Cause forsake And to the side o' th' Commonwealth betake Since their own King has play'd the Foot and 's gone Ours to molest they turn up every Stone The Church the Church is ready to fire Is all their Out-cry Brethren save the Quire Take care a'th' Steeple Chancel Surplice Crape The Church of England Dov's in danger of a Rape No thanks to them she did from Father Peter's scape Yet when their Prince and 's Priests shall venture over Theyll swear she is no Chast nor Turtle Lover But did to others her fair Breasts discover Then they will be for Common-wealth no more But screw Prerogative high as before Huff like N S r crackle like B S wer FAB IV. The Ass in the Lion's Skin A Certain Ass being struck with Shame Of 's native Slavery and his Name Made shift to steal a Lion's Skin And boldly stalk'd about therein Shook off his innate sluggish Pace And did assume an awful Face As if h' had been of Lybian Bree'd And from the Bastinado freed But 's curs'd Ears and Cathedral Note To his great Grief reveal'd the Plot For when he did attempt to roar He could not do 't but bray'd just as before MORAL Thus Non-resistance thinks't no Sin To put on a true Patriot's Skin And plead for Liberty and Laws And easie Tax But mark the Cause He would the Government disable And lose the Ship for want of Cable And by this means it comes to pass We know the old Passive Obedience Ass FAB V. The Wolf and Hedgehog A Greedy Wolf that ravag'd Hills and Plains Devour'd the Flocks and beggar'd all the Swains Triumph'd and skipp'd But Plenty causing waste At length he knew not where to break his Fast But in his Range meets with a Porcupine A curious Bit to make Lycaon dine His eager Chaps would fain been at the Prey But the arm'd Hedgehog held him at a Bay Hungry Lycaon seeing this cries out My little Brother how comes this about Have you forgot the late concluded Peace That you do still your Armour wear As if there were new Cause of Fear Lay by your Darts and let War cease You cannot think that I will break the League And Brother-Brutes surprize by false Intrigue Nay Hay says Hedgehog Brother I don't say That you will me or other Brutes betray But ne'ertheless it doth appear While you have Tusks there 's Cause of Fear Let me first draw your Teeth and Sans Delay I 'll throw my Quiver and my Darts away MORAL Thus crafty Jacks do plead our Cause Arm'd Troops in Time of Peace subvert our Laws Lay down your Arms and then we swear That our brave Prince will soon appear La Hogue you know is very near But since Van Trump and bold De Rutter With Ball and Powder made such splutter He 's as much afraid of Sword and Bomb As was his Grandsire in his Grandame's Womb. Disband your Troops therefore we pray The Nation cannot bear your Pay Then come the Wolves o'er from Campeigne And carry all the Sheep away Then will our Prince like Mars in warlike Guise Encamp at Hounslow to shoot Butterflies No Man can say that he will break the Law Or us by Standing-Armies over-awe Since it is clear as e'er was Light of Sun His Army never stood but always run Let no foul Tongue our Valorious Prince disgrace For he in Person always won the Race The Boyn's fair Flood and Sarum's spacious Plain Will this great Truth far evermore maintain FAB VI. The Fox caught in a Trap. A Certain Fox being caught in Trap Did lose his Tail by the Mishap And cried Alas For his Disgrace He could not shew Face Nor follow the Chase But yet says he tho' Reynards do beguile The other Brutes by some fly Trick and Wile I do not know that Foxes are exempted From being fool'd too if they 're fitly tempted Then let me go try And briskly apply My Wits to deceive And make Foxes believe That the Burden of their Tail In Rain Snow or Hail Is intolerably grievous And in Hunting Mischievous If by this Means I can but prevail To have every Fox cut off his own Tail Then none of 'em at me will mock scoff or rail Away Reynard goes His design to propose Says Fathers and Mothers Dear Sisters and Brothers Don't flout jeer and mock At my mangled Dock You know that your Tails But little avails When you leap over Pales To catch Sheep and Fowls Then do not like Owls Thus burden your Back By a thing you might lack How brisk and how fine Am I without mine The rest perceiving what his Motive was Told him good Brother this will never pass When we 'r hunted by Dogs O'er Hills and through Bogs On our Tails we do Piss And their Chops do not miss And this was the cause made the Proverb prevail He hath got a flap with the Fox's Tail Then cease Brother Fox If
dull Jest And all the success of each Fable and Story Is to lay down their own Faults like the Monkey before ye FAB X. Of the Hares and the Frogs A Time was fix'd when Hares should meet And for dispatch of Business fit Without the least delays To remedy their present State Or else anticipate their Fate By proper means and ways Strait every Puss the Form forsook Which He or She for shelter took And hasten'd to the place Which by appointment was design'd To heal the mischiefs of their Kind Or make extinct their Race The SPEAKER chose and Members plac'd The House resolv'd it self at last Into a grand Commitee But what a pother Lord they kept One sigh'd another trembling wept 'T would move us all to pity At length a Chief of high Rnown And Ranger of some mighty Down First ask'd the Hous's leave And then stood up whilst all the rest With sorrows and with grief oppress'd Could nothing else but grieve Brethren said he a wretched Race Whom Men and Dogs and Eagles chase The Sport of the Creation In vain we 're thinking to redress Our Grievances or make 'em less While in this living Station Hounds will for ever be pursuing And Hunters meditating ruin Whilst we must still be flying We'd better Friends if I might give Advice this moment cease to live Then always be a dying Tho' Death is not a thing which fuits With constitutions of such Bruits As Hares are of 't is certain Yet they resolv'd with much ado To bid the Groves and Hills adieu Tho not ' thout tears at parting By chance there was a River near The place where these Assemblers were Debating how to die Wherefore to put off all delays They fix'd in that to end their days The sooner ' cause so nigh But Lord how Puss would backward shrink When almost at the very brink And sigh she was so near Then tell her Beads and wish some Saint Would help her from this damn'd restraint And ease her of her fear At last the leading Hares were come Prepar'd and ready for their Doom And at the Flood arriving A Frog or two into it skipp'd Which made 'em look before they leap'd And think of longer living Hark ye said Puss who bore the sway Fair and softly wins the Day There 's no such need to die yet I 'll Home again and e'em submit To what my Destiny thinks fit And keep my Form in quiet Troth Sirs the Fate of Frogs is worse Than ours which we at present curse And are so much afraid at For me who fear most things beside Are fear'd by them and that 's my Pride Since these are us dismay'd at Sirs it would be a pretty Jest If since our life is not the best It should be made our loathing Faith tho' I cannot be the Chief I have this comfort and relief I 'm better far than nothing MORAL Hence let the Male contented mind Instructive Lessons draw Not be uneasy when confin'd Within the bounds of Law What tho' his Purse is something drein'd For Peace he ne'ere desir'd And has in pare that Prince maintain'd Who might have all requir'd A Neighb'ring King 's best Subjects paid Thrice more than William's worst And without Mony Laws obey'd When his with Mony curs'd If therefore he like Hare should grieve Since small respect we show Him Like Hare in Fable let him live Since he has Frogs below him OLD AESOP At WHITEHAL c. The PREFACE IT is now the Mode it seems for Brutes to turn Politicians and if we may give Credit to some late Authors their Houses of Parliament assembled at Tunbridge and Bathe The Lion who by Prescription hath been own'd for King Nemine Gontradicente pleads it as his Priviledge to summon them to his Banquetting-House at Whitehal whence all the Three sttaes may by a short and easie Walk arrive together at Westminster and there consult for the Common Good He carries a bundle of Arrows in his Hand with this Motto over them Concordia resparvae crescunt discordia maxima dilabuntur If there be no Mysteries in Christianity it seems there are some in Policy when Jacobites and Commonwealths men who have mutually branded one another with the harshest Names that Malice and Rancour could invent should now unite in a Design against the present Government as a common Center If it be so which Old AESOP is very unwilling to believe he hath given Commission to his Beasts in the following Fables to declare the first to be what they always were Knaves and the latter which he is sure they will be loth to be accounted Fools If the Reflections seem too Satyrical they may consider that it comes from Beasts like themselves And so Aesop bids them Farewel but to take Care not to divide the prey till it is caught Whitehal Septemb 22. 1698. THE SUMMONS THE Jackall did the King of Brutes inform That some design'd to mine and some to storm His Royal Fort. At which with generous Rage The Kingly Beast their Malice to asswage Sends forth his Summons That they should appear At Brutes Whitehal from Quarters far and near There to consult and if they found that any Better deserv'd the Sway among the Many Than Leo did he wou'd the Crown forswear And never henceforth any Scepter bear But at the same time gives't as his Advice It 's better to fill Bag one time than thrice Or Three times three It 's better under one Than many Masters to lament and groan Old AESOP AT WHITEHAL GIVING Advice to the Young AESOPS AT Tunbridge and Bathe FAB I. The Tortoise and Frogs A Heavy Tortoise seeing Frogs Nimbly leap in Pools and Boggs Bless'd their limber Hams that they Could so bravely frisk and play Curs'd the hard and heavy Pack That Nature laid on his own Back He could neither Skip nor Dance Nor caper A-la-mode de France But as soon's he saw the Stork Could the Frogs from Puddle fork And that for all their nimble Heels They became a Prey to Eels Then he quickly chang'd his Note And for 's own Coat of Mail gave Vote Thank'd his Stars that he was free From Storks and such-like Tyranny By being armed Cap-a-pee MORAL Did but see through Gallick Sway How feeble Subjects are a Prey To th' Sovereign's arbitrary Will Who can at 's Pleasure save and kill Did we feel th' Effects of 's Sword and Flames Saw Virgins ravish'd heard the Cries of Dames When Soldiers sack their Towns destroy their Men Cut off their Children scarce spare One in Ten Could we but see Rome's Priests converting France With Arguments from Gun Sword Spear and Lance And then reflect that this had been our Doom Could James the Just have paid his Von's to Rome We would not grumble at the Tax we pay To keep such Monstrous Tyranny away But should that William might live ever pray FAB II. Of the other Members conspiring against the Belly ONce on a Time the Hands and Feet With Back and
my vertuous Throne My Pleasure is that every sort of Fish For them do every Day provide a Dish The best and wholesom'st Fish of every sort And bring them every Day unto the Court Each Fish beneath the Surface downward darts But glide along with very heavy Hearts In vain says one the heav'nly Sun do's burn Warm the vast Deep and Spawn to Fishes turn The Gods its seem thus Neptune has empower'd And we are born only to be devour'd Our Off-spring still must pay their Parents Scores Made for a Tyrant's Food and Bawds and 's Whores When vast lascivious Paunches spend always More than the num'rous Shoals of Fish can raise No more said he by my consent we 'll own A Tyrant's Empire but abjure his Throne The watry Tribes the Motion did approve And to his Station every one did move FAB XI The Asylum THE Princes once did all combine The Peoples Liberty to mine Would make 'em right or wrong obey An absolute Despotick Sway One Method was to make us poor By loading Taxes more and more For when to Poverty Men fall They easily are brought to thrall And when their Spirit 's sunk and gone Tyrants may lay vast Burthens on This did in some in all it cou'd Not do Some Men had better Blood And tho' they could not mend their Fate They murmur'd at the Tyrant's hate Which so incenc'd the Tyrant's Ire Some they condemn'd to rav'nous fire Some were to slavish Gallies sent Others in Fetters did lament Some Men were strangl'd in their Beds Others were hang'd some lost their Heads Some whipt till bleeding Backs were kill'd The Lands with Tyranny were fill'd But those whom better luck and hap Did favour with a wish'd escape A City on Batavian Shoar Did shelter from the Ills before Where native Liberty do's thrive And no curst Tyranny can live Long live great City Favourite of Heav'n And never want those Blessings thou hast giv'n A Dialogue between Bow-Steeple DRAGON AND THE Exchange GRASHOPER Ecclesia Factio A DIALOGUE c. Dragon TEll me proud Insect since thou can'st not Fly By what assistance thou art Hopp'd so high The busie swarms of Gnats and Wasps around With Hum and Buz thy Revelations sound And cry in thee alone their happiness is found Me they Despise and thee they Praise aloud Admire thee and Adore thee as a God Misled by false Enthusiastick Light They 've rais'd thee now to a Destructive hight Who restless striv'st by thy accustom'd ways To stain those Glories which thou ne'er could'st raise And like your Dam the Babylonian Beast Cry down those Truths by which Mankind are Blest Which Reason well as Faith makes manifest Grashoper Thy Scaly Body and Aspiring Wings Thy furious Tallons and thy frightful Stings Makes thee seem Monstrous to our milder Flock Who Dreaded once but now Disdains thy Yoke You 'd bind our Souls b'Omnipotence made free And Rob us of that Heav'n-born Liberty To which we have a Right as clear as thee My Sons thou wou'dst unreasonably confine To worship God within no Walls but thine As if the Prayers from other Temples sent Of sighing Souls who faithfully Repent Were Scorn'd and by repulsion backward driven Vanish'd in Air and reach'd no Ear of Heaven Where is its Goodness What avails its Grace If our sincere Repentance wants access Thro' Heav'ns respect to either Time or Place Those measures but our own Projections be Unminded of the Great Eternity Whose Love Divine moves round the Sinful Ball To Bless each wretch who on his Mercies call Without regard to Place no matter where If the Heart 's Contrit and the Mind Sincere Our Humble Guide the great Example yields Who Pray'd and Preach'd in Gardens Mounts and Fields Temples but Sacred from their use became Our Piety makes any House the same Where e'er we in th' Almighty's Name repair Omnipotence hath promis'd to be there Besides Our Prayers by which all-pity'ng Heav'n we move To grant us His estimable Love When with true Zeal our Pious Souls are warm'd Makes the Place Holy wheresoe'er perform'd Dragon Thou know'st I 'm founded on a fateless Rock Freed from the danger of an envious shock Scripture's my Bass Immovable I stand Guarded by Lawful Pow'r on ev'ry hand Establish'd by a National Consent Preach Faith and Charity do Ills prevent And for the Truths I Teach am made Predominant Stedfast and Pure from Innovations free Preserv'd intire from Mutability Safe from your Pride and Envy Arm'd with Law To humble stiff Precisians who withdraw From my Communion Conscious to agree With Heads uncover'd or a bended Knee And think a Bow a rank Idolatry Religion like a Prince tho' ne'er so Pure By Pow'r to Punish must be made secure Or else your Saints to Reformation given Would quickly cut Ten Thousand Paths to Heaven Could I from Factious Insolence be free And live unstain'd without an Enemy But that till thou art crush'd can never be Then Church and State might happily Unite To Mankinds Safety and to Heaven's Delight But you by Pride are swell'd to such a Rage Fed by Vice of a Corrupted Age That now you strike with Envy at my Pow'r And aim'st above my Sacred Head to tow'r But all in vain For that Blest Edifice can never drop Which when assail'd good Heav'n is still the prop. You urge a Barn or Stable where you Meet A Field a Coffee-House Dancing-School or Street Are fit for Heav'nly Worship and for Prayer Sacred as unpoluted Temples are Rare Arrogance indeed so vilely prone To justify Irreverence to a God-head done A Room where Men their common Lusts pursue Drink Swear Lye Cheat all Worldly-business do In Christian Reason is a hopeful Place To beg God's Presence or exprect His Grace Whilst His own House for Holy use ordain'd To Him Erected by our Sins unstain'd Shall be Despis'd and Unregarded stand A useless Fabrick in an Impious Land Yet do'st thou grumble in oppressive Tones And rail at me for Persecutions If you through study'd Prejudice retire From what the Laws of God and Man require A Legal Force may justly then be us'd Such Factious Serpents may in time be bruis'd My Pow'r's from God and in his Word declare To those who to my Laws bear no regard Heav'ns Punishments are just as to the Good Reward The Scriptures whatsoe'er I Teach contain What 's Easie I Recite and what 's Hard Explain Vertue commend to Practice Sin reprove Excite to Faith Hope Charity and Love Obedience Loyalty Repentance Prayer The use of what we Spend or what we Spare Truth I advance and what is False suppress You can no more than these I do no less Then tell me what strange Fever in the Head At first those Superstitious Frenzys bred From whence you raise the causeless Discontent Which makes you from my Temples thus Dissent Grashoper Superfluous Rites there are which you maintain And hold as Decencies which I think Vain Look back upon your boasted Pedigree One part deriv'd of
Rome's Idolatry From whose fantastick Customs you have drawn Square Caps low Bows your Surpliss and your Lawn Proud Lazy Prelates with Pluralities Who speak but by their hair-brain'd Deputies Whose Junior Years no Truths obscure can reach And seldom are so Wise as those they Teach Your Mass-like Service with your noisie Toots Of hum drum Organs Fiddle Faddles and Flutes Your high flown Doctrines to advance a State And please it till Unlawfully made Great Then turn your Holy Flat'ries to its Fate These I dislike from these in chief Dissent As quite repugnant to the Lord's intent These are the sumptuous Trappings of the Whore The Marks and Patches which she always wore These are her study'd and prevailing Charms Which but the loser part of Fancy warms And draws unwary Youth to her Adult'rous Arms. Dragon External Order first informs our Sence And raises in us a due Reverence Either towards Place or Person where we see Concurrent parts in Noble Form agree And tend to a peculiar Harmony Or why did the Creator shape the World From a dark Mass together rudely hurl'd But that in ev'y part Mankind should see The strokes of an All-pow'rful Deity From whence the light of Faith does first arise And makes our Reason subject to our Eyes For ev'ry wond'rous work of Heav'n we see Gives fresh Assurance of Eternity And by it's Graceful Order strikes an Awe Humbles our Souls and does Obedience draw By Natural means to Heav'n and Nature's Law Therefore such decent Rites do I dispence As best shall Humble and Affect the Sense And in my Sons beget a Graceful Reverence How Insolent it looks How Evil bred T' approach God's Presence with a cover'd Head Yet to a Great-man Couch with Hat in Hand And bare before the Wealthy Idol stand Or at Devotion so neglectful be As quite abandon all Humility And rather than to bended Knees submit In disrespectful Postures Lolling sit Next with Church Government you disagree And causlesly condemn our Hierarchy Rail at my Bishops angry at their State And Envy them whose Merit made them Great The Learn'd and Pious Characters they wear Hath rais'd them to the Dignities they bear Unstain'd their Lives they are as Guardians chose To save the Church from Errour and from Foes Without whose Conduct and Authority Religions Pristine state can never be Kept from Erroneous Innovations free But stand expos'd to every abuse That each Fanatick whimsie shall produce Then sure such Men who by a painful Life Thro' Grace to Knowledge more sublim'd arrive And with the piercing Eyes of Reason see Thro' all the Misteries of Divinity Justly deserve a Spiritual advance Above an unlearn'd or a half-learn'd Dunce Whose rowling Eyes feign'd Looks and yawning Jaws Can nothing utter but with Hums and Haughs Inspir'd with Ignorance than roars aloud Audacious Nonsense to a Brainless Croud 'T is these who from their Cradle are misled And backward taught to Factious Pulpits bred Who with impetious vi'lence headlong run Pursuing Ills their Rebel Sires begun Thus in their Frahers Faults they persevere And by Instinct of Nature envious Dunces are These thro' their barren Ignorance exclaim Against all Order and the Church defame Pelting with Factious and Calumnious Lyes That Sacred Power to which they cannot rise Spurning at all Ecclesiastick Pomp True Zealous Sons of the detested Rump Waiting the lucky Minute to be turn'd up Trump Grashoper These bad Aspersions from afar you fetch Serve but as Bullets to enlarge the Breach Why so Disturb'd so Scornful and so High You re but a Weather cock as well as I. Boast of fix'd Fundamenrals yet I find For Interest you can Turn with ev'ry Wind. Where 's Right Divine your Passive and your Non The Bubble's once blown up now poh they 're gone Where is your Loyalty so subt'ly shown Sometimes to th' Prince and sometimes to the Throne Sometimes to both sometimes to ne'er a one Thus is it Logically plac'd behind So many School boys Querks 't is hard to find When the great Change by Heav'ns permition try'd Your Churches Doctrine and her Clergies Pride Some Conscientious Fools 't is true turn'd out But all the Wiser Shepherds fac'd about And like good Men could blacken and upbraid That sinking Pow'r for which before they Pray'd Dragon Scandal as you are wont I know you chuse As the best Weapon of Offence to use Whether on search it True or False be found No matter which if you can make it wound But know my Armour 's temper'd against Fate And much to hard for you to penetrate The Iron Walls my treasur'd Truths defend Reverb'rate all the poisonous Balls you send You charge me with the want of Loyalty That am the chief support of Monarchy By my High Priest the Holy Oyl 's apply'd By me Kings Reign are Crown'd and Sanctifi'd I am on Earth their Safety aâ—â— to Heav'n their Guide By me the Factious Falshoods are supprest Scatter'd by restless Rebels to molest The happy quiet of a Peaceful Reign Which Traitors Envy and blind Fools Disdain Duty to Kings I to the Publick teach To Loyalty Excite Perswade Beseech That all things to the Throne be easie made And him thereon be Rev'renc'd and Obey'd What are all these but Marks of Loyalty Religious Graces manifest in me Vertues I find too bright for thy dull Eyes to see But pray your Reasons to the World impart Why now you from your old Opinion start In happy days when Charles the Scepter sway'd When base Designs by you know who were laid Then all your Awkard Canting Brood profest 'T was Damnable the Bread of Life to Taste Within my Sacred Temple-Walls but now What then you held so Dang'rous you Allow If Once 't was an Offence so great we know As you maintain'd full Twenty Years ago 'T is now the same and Ever will be so Why do the Grandees of your Leering Tribe Who from rank Dugs their prejudice imbibe So curb their Malice as conform of late And with my Flocks they Envy Congregate Oft on a Sabbath's Morning have I seen Rich Awful Zealots of a bulkey Mein Cheat Heaven and dissemble with the State To be by Flatt'ry and Deceit made Great Visit my Temples seem devout as Saints And for their Interest turn base Sycophants Thus with my Worship thro' design agree And only Mimick what they hate to be To climb unfairly to Authority Then by their own Corrupted Whimsies led Where the Frape meet and common Ills are bred There hear the Church from whence they came Lampoon'd And true Religion by an Ape Buffoon'd Who o'er his Cushion full of Yawn and Hum Stands Gaping like the Bear that beats the Drum Thus is the After-noon at Meeting spent The Morning in the Church at Sacrament Rare pious Christians full of Faith and Grace To thus with Heaven dissemble for a Place And pawn their Souls to purchase Sword or Mace If I am Right and from Mistakes most free Why do they not Conform intire to me