Selected quad for the lemma: head_n
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A34394
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The converts, or, The folly of priest-craft a comedy / by J.S.M.T. Soc.; Converts.
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1690
(1690)
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Wing C5987; ESTC R1078
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85,188
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70
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SCENA I. Mrs. Counterfeit and Mrs. Speedwel Speed NAY but good Mrs. Counterfeit tell me Will not the Fathers suspect that such an old Sinner as I am but a New Hypocrite Count. Hold thy peace Child never fear that If Bigot's Zeal is too blind to see a Fault in a New Convert of his own making do but give him the sole Honour of your Conversion and you may reap the sole Profit to your self Speed Yes yes I will seem extreamly averse to Popery and then he will think the Honour of my Conversion will be the greater Count. Thou art an apt Wench nothing will inflame him more But be sure not to yield too soon Speed Why Mrs. Counterfeit what impertinence is this when did you ever know me yield too soon Count. Nay prethee Speedwel be not Cholerick I think you did yield too soon when Mr. Subtleman took you napping with two Footmen and withdrew his Maintenance upon it Speed I grant you indeed that a Woman may yield too soon in solicitatious Amours or the like but when did you know any of them yield in Disputations or Religious Discourses Pray shew me one Precedent for that Count. I must confess I cannot but good Child be not so hasty If I can but bring thee into favour with Bigot and Politico they will make Mr. Subtleman restore if not increase thy Pension Speed And I protest if it is done by your Means I will serve you half a Year gratis Count. Then pull down thy Hood and look as much dejected as if thou wert inclin'd to a melancholy Madness they love to deal with mad People Speed I warrant you Walks in a melancholy posture Enter Bigot Count. Here he comes be very sad and demure Mr. Bigot you 'r welcome Big Mrs. Counterfeit your Servant Pray what is the Business Count. Reverend Sir this is the Gentlewoman so much disturbed in Mind I hope you will administer some Comfort to her Big Let me alone for that Madam To Speedwel Pray let me know the Reason of your disturbed Affections and what is it makes you look so sad like the Image of Death Speed Bless me do I look like an Image all Images are Popish sure I don't look as if I were popishly affected Big I am sorry to hear you are so averse to your greatest good it makes my Eyes weeps over flow with Water in compassion of you Speed O'reflow with Water Sure Sir you don't mean Holy-Water if you do I shall immediately fall into a swoon I have a greater aversion to it than the Devil himself has fogh Spits Big And why so What provocation have you received that should make you thus bitter against your Mother-Church Speed Heavens bless me what mean you to talk to me of a Mother-Church I know no Mother-Church my Father was an Anabaptist and my Mother never went to Church in her life Then how should I have a Mother-Church Big Your Discourse Lady is illogically incoherent If I am thus interrupted how is it possible to make any farther Procession Speed Pray Sir forbear to make any further Popish Procession they are wicked abominable pieces oâ— Superstition I hate a Procession Big I wish I knew Lady how to make my Application to you to throw of this burthen of distraction from your Mind Speed Alas Sir I feel no burthen I am all Light there 's Light within me and Light without me I feel no burthen but in the Flesh Big God forbid To Mrs. Count. sure the Lady is not with Child Count. No fear of that she is the chastest Virgin in the World it is only her Phanatical way of talking Pray Lady if you have any Doubts expound them if you have met with Crosses Speed O miserable what more Popery Why should you think that I have met with Crosses I abhor them they are Popish and I made my Coachman drive a Mile about rather than go by Charing-Cross only for its Popish Name Big Bless me what blind rage is this the very Beasts are less savage whom Nature has arm'd with Claws and Horns Speed Aye I grant you indeed that the Beast in the Revelation has Claws and Horns and Heads and Tails and is a very Monster I dreamt of th' other Night and it put me into such a fright that I shall never forget it Bless me one of the Faces look'd as like yours as e're it could stare only Horns grew out of the Forehead and I suppose Sir you are not married Big Men of my Order are not so fleshly given as to marry But pray Lady be more sedate and collect the scattered Relicts of your Reason Speed Aye there you grieve me again I say all Relicts are Popish and I had rather gather Sinders than collect Relicts I can bear no longer I must leave you Going out Big Nay Madam you must not go away in this Discontent Do but give me leave to speak and I will be your Beadsman if Speed O Heavens desend me how my Ears are assaulted with a continual noise of Popery You be my Beadsman Heaven knows I hate Beads they are all Popish In fine they are my aversion I must be gone Going again Big Nay good Lady Speed I cannot stay Oh oh-Farewel Ex. Big Bless me Mrs. Counterfeit have you no more wit than to send for me to such a â—urious Beldame as this She has in her the very quintescense of all Phanaticism Count. Is this all the thanks I have for consulting your Honour To convert one that is well inclin'd is like killing a dead Man 't is soon done but there 's no Reputation Big There I confess you are in the right But I see not Count. Why first you see she 's a little mad Big Aye that 's well Count. Then she is foolish Big That gives me more hopes than the other But how shall I meet with such another Opportunity Count. I will keep her in a dark Room till she recovers part of her Senses Believe me Mr. Bigot if ever you would work upon a Woman take her into a dark Room till she recovers her Senses then you may draw forth your Use of Comfort and make close Application and partly by insinuating Languagâ— and partly by force of Reason you may compel her to fall down vanquish'd before you Big Be pleased Mrs. Counterfeit to accept a few Guineas as an acknowledgment of offers Gold Count. I protest I will not receive them or if I do I will lay them out again for the Encouragement of new Convertâ— Big Nay then you shall take a few more offers more I profess you shall take 'em it is all I have for if I had the Indies in my Pocket I could freely give them to the thrusts 'em into her Pocket Count. I protest you are too bountiful But I will add six Grains more to them for the same use Big Nay then I will give thee a Bill for 20 l. more nay I protest I will And thou shalt receive 'em presently gives
born Slaves by some peculiar Influence of the Heavens or whether Custom has made that Yoke to be easie or whether that servile disposition is deriv'd from Father to Son by some unperceivable manner of Tradition the Cause is uncertain but the Effect is plain But to think English-men to be easily kept in subjection because foreigners can is as good Logick as to conclude a Lion dares not fight because a Sheep is a timorous Creature Pol. I perceive your Lordship is not skill'd in the Politicks I can give you several reasons why there is no danger in the dreaded number of the Hereticks For first they want an Head and what alas is Body without an Head There 's one for you L. Britt Your Argument is Metaphorical but not conclusive It is true these popular Insurrections that are rais'd by the Power or Interest of one particular Man are soon quell'd when the Head is once remov'd for the Cause taken away the Effect ceases But where the cause of discontent is general an Head is never wanting for many hands make light work Pol. Then again ' The Hereticks want Councel and Conduct Alas all their Great Men are bred in the English Court and know nothing of the French and Italian Finesses There are no men in the world excepting those of my Order that understand the true Methods and Principles of Government Alas your English Lords are troubled with scruples of Conscience and pretend to tenderness and good nature and think themselves always oblig'd to stick to the immutable Rules of Honour and talk of Just and Unjust and I know not what whimseys They don't consider that it is impossible for a States-man to accomplish any great Designs that boggles at any sort of means that are conducing to his End tho never so unjust and cruel L. Britt I wish you do not find those Lords which you so much despise to be Masters of more Policy than is consistent with the good of the Catholick Cause Pol. Pshaw Pshaw never fear it When all 's done we have an Army to defend us L. Britt An Army sympathizes with the major part of the Nation out of which they are taken and what raises Jealousies in the One is sure to raise Discontents in the Other Heaven send we may never stand in need of that Pol. Pshaw pshaw your Lordship is too timorous L. Britt angry No man but what 's defended by a Gown dares tell me so Once more farewell And when you see all England in a flame youâ— selves pursued to the water-side and offering all your Treasure for a Boat when Catholicks are driven from their Houses and made the Object of a publick scorn remember then I had no hand in this Pol. And when you see the Triumphs of our Cause all bending low unto the See of Rome the Heretiâ—ks or forced to comply or roving up and down the world for Bread but finding none when this you live to see remember well that mine is the contrivance 't is I propos'd the End and found the Means shap'd the Tools and perfected the Work and mine 's the Honour L. Britt May it be so I leave the Honour and the Danger unto you Farewell I 've done my best Exit Pol. Well this Lord is honest but Master of extreme wrong Notions in Policy as if he had been bred under some Calvinistical Pedant that never read Machiavel But I must now lay aside thoughts of State-affairs and mind the grand Concerns of softer Love Leucasid's eyes have shot a â—re into my breast which nothing but her self can extinguish If I can enjoy her in the peâ—â—on of a discarded Officer I shall look upon it as my greatest â—â—iess For as there is greater art in making a Chain for a Flea than an Elephant so there is something more skill inâ—subduing the heart of a Woman than in subverting a Kingdom Enter Mrs. Counterseit O Mrs. Counterfeit you 're welcome most heartily welcome What news Count. O the most obliging News in the World Leucasâ—a is yours your Plots take to admiration I vow you don't act fairly to outwit a Woman in her own Profession Read this Gives him a Letter he reads The account you give of thaâ— Noble Person and his suffering in so good a Cause will not permit me to be cruel I honour such 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and if it is his desire to 〈◊〉 kâ—â—wn to me any part of his grievances he shall find an hoâ—â—rable and kind reception from Yours Leucasia Pol. Why look you Mrs. Câ—unterfeit did not I tell you that nothing could resist my Policy Here 's a Lady that hates our Religion and in particular my Order and Person Now who but my self could extract good out of so much evil and make her aversion a step to enjoy her Count. If you are as quick in Execution as fine in Projection that will soon be done Or if you should be put to the trouble to ravish or so if opportunity favours your disguise is your security Pol. There thou hitt'st the Nail on the head my disguise is ready you shall go in and see it fitted Count. I wait your Commands but you must go incognito without any Equipage Pol. Pray Mrs. Counterfeit leave the contriving part to me I think I am Master of that Count. And you must be sure to aggravate the Ingratitude of Priests and Jesuits Pol. What still moving beyond your station must the Spring rise higher than the Fountain-head have you not learn'd all this from me and do you pretend to teach Count. No indeed I have not learn'd all from you my Mother and my good Grandmother and my Aunt and my great Aunt taught me a great deal and I have had 50 years experience so that you might trust a little to my Judgment Pol. Then you will pretend to direct me Count. No an 't please your Reverence I will not pretend to that You do excel me and all mankind in the mysterious arts of Love I must most humbly acknowledge it to be so Pol. Then follow me and remember the contriving part is mine the executive we must share between us Exeunt Scene changes to Leucasia ' s Lodgings Enter Leucasia and Turnabout Leu. You see how far I have condesoended to cure your capricious humour tho I must confess your carriage to me and your hair-brain'd Jealousie does deserve my scorn or rather is below it Turn I confess my error and am ready to redeem your lost favour with my Sword What is it you will command Leu. A certain pretended Lord is pleas'd to think me a very fit person to be his Whore Now what would you do in vindication of my Honour Turn Oh very little Perhaps I might only cut his Throat or whip him through the Lungs or some such trifle Neither more nor less Leu. No that 's too much But I suppose that if he should refuse to draw you would grudge him the pains to kick him or assist my Servants in tossing him in a Blanket