Selected quad for the lemma: hand_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
hand_n	command_n	right_a	word_n	4,845	5	5.2166	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A60409	Clod-pate's ghost, or, A dialogue between Justice Clod-Pate and his [quondam] clerk honest Tom Ticklefoot wherein is faithfullly related all the news from purgatory, about Ireland, Langhorn, &c / the author, T.T.	Smith, Francis, fl. 1657-1689.	1670 (1670)	Wing S4025; ESTC R638	18,724	14

proceedings in punishing Offenders there Clod-p. Tom Did'st ever see the Discipline of Bridewell Ticklef. Yes Master many and many a time but once to my exceeding great Mortification above all the rest Clod-p. Why just such is the Discipline of Purgatory for this is certain that in the Time of Popery in England a curious Artist brought 'em a Model of Purgatory and the Court of Aldermen made Bridewel by the Platform the Delinquent is brought in and with strong Cords is made to embrace the Whipping-Post two sturdy stout Knaves stand ready Armed with their Instrumens of Execution the Master o' this House o' Correction sits in his great Chair his Assessors on either hand he holds in his right hand that is except he be left-handed a small Hammer thus far you would say it was but an Auction and when he gives the word of Command the Lictors fall to Work that is Knock goes the Hammer Slash say they upon his Posteriorums Thump again goes the Hammer Thwack go they and so as long as the Hammer goes and Ticklef. Pray Master pardon me if I interrupt you a little I protest Purgatory has been as ill bestow'd upon you as upon any man that ever went through that Gantelope Clod-p. Prythee why Tom Ticklef. You three years and upwards in that School Fie I 'me asham'd of you Clod-p Why Tom. Tickef Why What an incorrigible piece are you The End of the Institution of that Furnace was to burn off all the Dross Rust and Filth that Sinners had contracted here in this World but I perceive you 'r as famous a Liar as ever you was in your Life I 'le exchange places with you if ever the Legends told greater Rappers than you have done in so few Lines For shame Master for shame no more of this Stuff you may lie for the Whetstone I 'le warrant you You think you have Travell'd where I shall never come to confute you and now you think you may lie by Authority and cum Privilegio Clod-p. What you 'r got into one of your Rayling Humors Ticklef. Out upon 't these are all meer Parkerism's get a Sac. Dom. to Licence your Stories or I 'le hold you a Wager your Book will be burnt like Muggleton's Clod-p. Well then Tom tell me some truer Stories of your own I long to carry some News with me down below if I come empty they 'l go nigh to send me back again What News prythee about your Elections I hear there 's old Drinking and Feasting and Treating still for Members to serve in Parliament What kind o' People do they chuse Ticklef. Why Sir e'ne so so a Thief and a Gentleman as they couple Rabbits Clod-p. But I would fain hear whom they have chosen at my Native Town of B Ticklef. Well thought on Master I have just now receiv'd a Letter that will gratifie your Curiosity and Importunity both with a Labour In the first place they have pitch'd upon an Old Rotten Crooked Warped piece of Timber that will never make a Supporter for a Tottering State or a Crutch for a Lame Church such a Stick of Wood as I durst not venture to make a Hovel-Post on They may make a pair of Gallows of him to hang his Electors and that 's all that ever he will be good for And in the next place they have chosen a Son to Vote against and Condemn his own Father And is it not a comely Sight to see the Son within the Walls of the House o' Commons when the Dad is within the Walls o' th' Tower for High-Treason This is their Choice and now they 'r ready to eat off their Fingers for their Folly when 't is too late Clod-p. That 's a piece o' th' best News I 'me like to carry down with me But Tom how have they chosen in Essex Ticklef. O! Upon my Word there 's a Cooting Card for you But I perceive you play Loath to Depart Good Night Master once for all Pray have a Care you do not break your Shins again as you go out And if you have a mind to tell any more Stories pray tell 'em to the Wall for me I 'le go sleep as hard as I can drive and so Farewel Master Clod-pate Tom Ticklefoot To his Reader Greeting 'T Is more hard to Reform an Inveterate though Irrational Custome than to Cure the Itch and a Non-sensical Whim that can plead Prescription will crush a private Practice to dirt that wants Gray Hairs and Gravity to procure it Veneration the plain English of all which is but this As good be out o' th' World as out o' th' Fashion though never so Apish and Ridiculous however for once I 'me resolv'd on 't to try whether my New Book like the New Barge will not Sail against the Wind of Antiquity and the Tide of Peevish Example It has hitherto all along been the Mode of all our Scriblers to March their Epistolary Addresses in the Van of their Books An errant Hysteron Proteron say I the Cart before Horse for all the World To call him thy Courteous thy Candid thy Ingenuous thy Learned Reader marry come up my Dirty Gossip when perhaps the poor man has not read one Line one Word one Syllable on 't and if he be wise be sure never will whereas I upon good Advice have placed mine in the Rear politickly considering that by this Artifice he must be my Reader e're I call him so in spight of his Nose Now then have at thee Courteous Reader or by what Name or Title soever thou hast a mind to be Dignified or Distinguished I do boldly recommeed my Dialogue to thee my own self because perhaps no body else will and if thou thinkest that to applaud it upon my Credit is to venture thy Judgment upon an Implicit Faith prythee consider the most of Mankind have taken up their Religion upon no better Principle Thou 'lt hardly believe me if I should tell thee I could have had the Licenses of all the Fat Choplains Middle-sized Chaplains and the Thin-Gutted Chiplains about Town and a thousand thanks to boot that I would honour them so for as to suffer their Names to appear in the Frontispiece whether the Pope has got it into the Vatican I dare not say but it s more than probable if the Act for Regulating the Press had been in force both the Universities had claimed their Copies by this time and yet now I think on 't it had then never been written It has been a Question moved among the Learned whether the Expiration of that Statute has done more good than harm and without doubt it had been very pernicious to the Publick if this one Dialogue had not made amends for the Mischief of our Scurrulous Pamphlets To tell thee one half of its Excellencies would tempt thee to disbelieve the other half and whilst it pretends to cure all Diseases with our Quacks thou'lt be ready to Question whether it can cure any yet take a Taste of

the Countrey And this he did as a Gentleman upon no other Motive but because he saw how this bold Jesuite Brazen'd it out against Authority and huff'd and hector'd the Sheepish Protestants when yet all Ireland's Asseverations were broad Falshoods so that the thing 's as plain as the Nose on your Face Clod-p. Ay marry Tom that was worded like a cunning Sophister As plain as the Nose of my Fate why thou knowest I have no Nose on my Face and so I told thee before Ticklef. Why Master have the Worms or the Pox eaten it off But I meant innocently and to clear it I say 't is as plain as the Nose upon my own Face Clod-p. Come Tom enough o' this jesting dost think I 'me in a pickle to drole it when I have lain so long reezing in the Smoke of Purgatory that since the Prohibition of Westphalia Hams I do not believe there 's any thing left in England that can sample my Blackness But are not things strangely varied with you since the last Pacquet-Boat Ticklef. Ay indeed Master we have rung Changes so long that now we begin to ring the Bells backward you shall see a man as hot as Mustard against Plot and Plotters one day and as cool not to say frozen as Charity the next so that I 'me confident Modern Charity and Zeal against Popery equal Quantities a Spoonful is the best Julep in a buring Fever that is in all the Dispensatory Good lack how have I seen a man bawl and some at mouth for the Plaintiffe to day that would bawl as lowd for the Defendant to morrow in twenty four hours the Nature of things and men shall be so changed that you cannot know 'em again He that was all Choler shall be all Flegm as if the man had been Tapt and a Sheep's Blood transfus'd into a Lion's Veins Clod-p. Pre'thee Tom unriddle me this Riddle for I protest it 's beyond my Clod-pated Capacity to understand it Ticklef. It 's done as easily as you can kiss your hand 't is but fluxing a man with Quicksilver and he 's clear another thing Clod-p. Ay but it 's dangerous medling with these Quicksilver Medicines Tom. Ticklef. Upon my word Sir none at all you may give it to a Chrysom-Child 't is as safe as Butter'd Ale and as nourishing my Life for your there 's no danger in 't you may if you please give it inwardly in a competent Dose of Aurum Potabile that 's a rare Vehicle or outwardly by Vnction which is only a hard word for Greasing in the Fist Clod-p. And has it done those Feats they boast of Ticklef. Oh Sir believe it if all the Blind that have had their Eyes open'd all that have had their Tongues loosed all that have been cured of Deafness Dumbness by this rare Receipt were but so Civil as to make their Acknowledgments our Lady of Halle would not Glory in a more numerous Retinue It has made that no Evidence to save one which was clear and good Evidence to hang a whole Baker's Dozen it has made sometimes two Witnesses necessary to every Branch and Article of an Indictment when in another Case and at another Time one Witness to each Branch or Article had been mortal and kill'd a man as dead as a red Herring It shall make a Plot no Plot in eight and forty hours and convert deadly poyson into a Sovereign Cordial and that 's pretty fair I think for one Receipt which you may see in Poor Robin's Pharmacopoeia But I beseech you Master how come you by your Intelligence Clod-p. We know nothing but what we have from the publick Prints Diurnals Courants Gazettes Pamphlets which fly up and down thick and threefold especially of late Indeed formerly we had St. Coleman's Letters twice a Week and they were Authentick but he 's now better employ'd and our Staple Advice is from the Gazettes Ticklef. I wonder who writes these Gazettes in your Territories Clod-p. In truth Tom I cannot well tell but some few years agone there was a Slip-string-Fellow wrote 'em he had a hardish kind of Strange Name but really I have forgot it only I remember they say he was one of old Noll's Fidlers and was old Dog at it he cou'd tell you where Rowland Pippin dwelt and decypher all his Bum-Trusses There was not a Spaniel or a Watch lost but he could recover it better than Will. Lilly Moll Cut-purse or the City-Marshal but now I think on 't there has been a great Smoak and Smother o' late about the Fires of London and Southwark prythee what do you above-ground say of that Ticklef. Nay what do you below-ground say of for most men with us think you have Reason to know more on 't than we Clod-p. Pardon me Tom for that we must not tell Tales out of the School we 're under an Oath of Secresie not to reveal the Arcana Imperii the Mysteries of our Subterranean Kingdom Besides to tell you true we are not of the Divan poor Wretches we are kept close prisoners and know as little as you do what the Grand Signior of Hell is plotting in his Cabinet-Council only common Fame goes with us that the Fire of London wonderfully abated the Flames of Purgatory they were e'ne ready to leap out o' their skins for Joy at the News but tell me seriously whether you believe our Friends had a Finger in 't Ticklef. A Finger Ay a Hand a Head a Heart and All in 't Honest Reading tells us in his Trial that Mr. Bedlow had laid in Fagots behind the Palsgrave's Head Tavern to burn Westminster this he did when a Papist but he repented sincerely was pardoned fully and freely and when Reading charges it and he owns it who can deny the Truth of it Clod-p. Did Reading charge it on him then was he as great a Clod-pate as my self and yet I thought I had been the Head of our Family and the Top of all our Kin well I shall never be dead as long as Reading is alive I only wish instead of the Pillory he had mounted the Gallows for he has done our Cause more Disservice by this Jobb than ever he did it a Kindness by disparaging the King's Witnesses Ticklef. Why then Master I perceive you and I are agreed let him hang himself to save Squire Ketch a Labour and honestly cheat him of his Fees Clod-p. But Tom what saist thou to those sweet hopeful Youths that came from St. Omars Did they not play their parts notably and manfully overwhelm the King's Evidence with a Torrent of Truth Ticklef. I promise you they had been excellent Tools had they been in all points a little better instructed for they spoke home to the Time in Question but for an hour before they spake as they had never been born and for an hour after as if they had been already dead Clod-p. I confess some of 'em came blewly off but we can have Twenty more such Instruments for time of need