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A27397 Some prison meditations of an humble heart given forth from a child in Israel, whose soul very dearly loveth his Heavenly Fathers children : much desiring, (and travelling in spirit for) their prosperity in the truth, even as for his own soul ... / by a sufferer for the truth in the common goal of Edmondsbury, whose earthen vessel bears the name of William Bennit. Bennit, William, d. 1684. 1666 (1666) Wing B1893; ESTC R32569 25,285 28

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SOME Prison Meditations OF AN Humble Heart Given forth from a Child in Israel whose Soul very dearly loveth his Heavenly Fathers Children much desiring and travelling in spirit for their prosperity in the Truth even as for his own soul and the Author hereof believing and knowing tha● this following Treatise may if the Lord will be of service unto many of the tender honest simple single upright-hearted one● who are following on to know the Lord in the footsteps of righteousness and who d●sireth to pass over on to the end in the strait way of holiness therfore even for their sakes is this following Treatise publish●d from a constraint of Gods love in singleness and simplisity of heart By a Sufferer for the Truth in the Common Coal of Edmondsbury whose Earthen Vessel bears the name of WILLIAM BENNIT Printed in the Year 1666. Some Prison Meditations of an humble Heart c. OH Oh my Soul be not unmindful of the large mercy and goodness of the Lord shewed towards thee neither forget the exceeding loving kindness of the Holy One manifested unto thee Oh my Soul Oh let the sence of what the Lord thy dear tender pittiful compassionate God hath done for thee continually be fresh in and upon thee oh my Soul for the Lord thy God hath freely done that for thee which none besides him the mighty one could do Oh my Soul the Lord hath brought thee out of the pit even out of the horrible pit and out of the mire and clay wherein thou once stuck so fast as that thou could never have been able to have gotten out by all means possible thou could have invented but must have sunk deeper and deeper therein and so have perished for ever had not the Lord God of infinite mercy helped thee who did cast his eye of pitty and compassion upon thee and out of his meer mercy love and free grace stretched out his hand to help thee oh my Soul when none besides him could help thee and by his arme of loving kindness lifted thee up out of the horrible pit out of the mire and clay and hath set thy feet upon a Rock which stands sure and can never be moved and thereon he establisheth thy goings praises pure living righteous Praises to the Lord thy God be rendered by thee Oh my Soul even for ever and for ever more Oh my Soul remember thou wast once even like a poor silly sheep without a shepherd wandering upon the barren mountains and dry heaths in the wilderness and solitary places full of trouble sorrow and perplexity and knew not the way to the fold of rest oftentimes mourning and weeping alone as a Dove without her Mate when no eye saw thy sorrow but the Lord alone often saying in thy heart whose state and condition is so miserable as mine who so poor and desolate as I none knoweth how i● is with me but the Lord alone And indeed the Lord then saw thee and knew how it was with thee oh my Soul and he the tender God of unfathomable bowels of compassion beheld thee in that day when thou did eat thy bread weeping and mingled thy drink with thy tears and he the compassionate one heard thy secret crys and knew thy secret desires and thy sighing and groaning entered into his ears and thy tears which thou dropped upon his altar laid open unto the view of the eye of thy tender mercyful God and his tender bowels was moved with pitty towards thee and for his own seed sake he had compassion upon thee oh my soul and helped thee in the day of thy trouble and delivered thee out of distress who freely reached forth his arme unto thee and took thee by the hand and brought thee out of the wildernesses and desolate places and set thy feet in the right way which hath led thee to a City of habitation and to the fold of rest and now the Lord who both sought thee and found thee out and brought thee out of the wilderness and from off the barren mountains he is become thy shepherd oh my soul and how canst thou want any good thing he oftentimes feedeth thee and even causeth thee to lie down in green Pastures and leadeth thee by the still waters even Shilos brook which runs softly and he spreadeth thy Table in the sight of thy enemies and anointeth thy head with the oyle of gladness and causeth thy cup to overflow with new wine and hath brought thee to sit under thy own Vine and under thy fig tree and none shall make thee afraid oh my soul Oh the goodness of the Lord oh the kindness of the Lord oh the mercy of the Lord oh the pitty of the Lord oh the compassion of the Lord God of tender bowels is even unutterable unspeakable unfathomable and incomprehensible Oh the heighth oh the depth oh the length oh the breadth of the love of the Lord oh my soul truly when thou meditatest of the goodness of the Lord and considerest of his loving kindness and mercy shewed towards thee oh how can but the sence thereof pitch thee even upon a stand of admiration Oh surely surely when thou oh my soul looketh back into his works and considerest how much he hath wrought in thee and for thee thou can see no end of his praises oh praises oh living praises holy righteous praises unto the pure holy righteous Lord God be ascribed by thee oh my soul for ever and for ever more Oh my Soul as thou art kept in the fresh sence and remembrance of the great loving kindness the great mercy the great pitty and unspeakable compassion of the Lord thy tender God which he hath and daily doth manifest unto thee oh my soul Oh how canst thou but in the sence of Gods unspeakable love abound in love in pitty in mercy in kindness in tenderness and compassion towards all people but especially towards all souls who are seeking thirsting hungring breathing crying and panting after Righteousness peace and everlasting rest and eternal happiness Oh my soul the Lord thy God knoweth the frame of thy spirit the Lord knoweth the tenderness of thy bowels and the openness of thy bosom towards all the seekers after Righteousness towards all the travellers to Sion and towards all the Mourners therein Oh my soul remember how that at some times when the great fountain the great deep hath opened and issued forth of his fulness into thee oh my soul and when joy hath come into thy heart as a river and gladness as a mighty stream refreshings as shoures in the spring and consolation as due upon the tender plants and when thou could sing for joy of heart and shout out aloud even prayses and halleluiahs to thy God that then even then thou oh my soul remembreth the poor and needy in his own eyes and think'st thou hearest his cry sounding in thy ear and his soul saying in secret Oh how many is there who eateth of the largest loaves drinketh
of the largest full flagons but oh alass for me I have scarce a drop of refreshment hardly a crum of consolation but my tears is my m●at and drink day and night whilest my enemy saith unto me where is thy God Oh I go bowed down all the day long and none knoweth my sorrow but the Lord alone Oh I am even as an Owle in the desart and as the Pelican in the Wilderness I am as the alone quail in the stuble fields and as a Dove mourning for the loss of her Mate and as the alone Sparrow upon the house top and as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit Oh whose condition is like mine is there any amongst the Sons and daughters of Men like unto me is there any so poor as I oh is there any so needy as I oh is there any so weak and feeble as I is there any so foolish as I oh is there any so dry and barren as I oh is there any so cold and fruitless to Godward as I is there any so desolate as I Oh my leanness oh my leanness oh how long how long shall it be thus with me oh how long how long shall I sit mourning as by the river of Babylon with my Harp laid aside oh when when shall I walk again in Sion and travel in the streets of Jerusalem with a new song in my mouth and everlasting joy upon my head and living praises in my heart unto the Lord who dwelleth in his Sion and his presence is great in his Jerusalem but oh alass for me I am as one cast out of his sight and one who walketh dejected all the day long Oh when will the Lord cause the days of my mourning to be over and the nights of my sorrow to pass away and my sighings and groanings to vanish and all tears to be wiped from mine eyes Oh when will the Lord give me beauty instead of ashes the oyle of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that I a poor dry barren one might become a tree of Righteousness bringing forth fruit of holiness abundantly to the praise of the Lord God that he in and through me might be glorified oh when shall my winter be over and the terrible storms gone Oh when shall the cold nipping frosts be expelled and the darkness and gloominess be extinguished Oh when will the Sun of Righteousness break forth unto me in his glory and his warm beams refresh and warm my poor cold soul Oh when will the spring come when shall I know a spring time in the Lord oh when will Summer come oh when will the singing of birds come oh when shall I hear the voice of the Turtle in my Land oh when will the shoures from on high fall down upon my soul oh when shall I receive the early and latter rain oh when shall I come to sit under my own Vine and under my fig tree and none to make me afraid Oh how long shall my beloved be hid from me as in the ●lifts of the Rocks and as in the secret places of the Stares sometimes indeed he shews himself unto me as behind the wall and as through a lattis and then my bowels my tender bowels are moved for him Oh when oh when shall I have a full enjoyment of him whom my soul loveth oh that I could but plainly hear his voice and perfectly see his face for oh indeed sweet is his voice and his countenance is very comely oh my soul desireth him in the night season and in the morning I seek him early but oh I cannot find him whom my soul loveth for he hath withdrawn himself from me and that is the cause of my leanness coldness barrenness and unfruitfulness to Godward which is the cause of my sorrow tears sighing groaning mourning and walking dejected all the day long Oh indeed there was a time once when my beloved kn●cked at the door of my heart saying again and again open open unto me my head is wet with dew and my locks filled with the drops of the night open open unto me and let me in but oh wo's me I was gotten into a bed of false ease and wrong security and was loath to come out but I made excuses and said I have put off my coat how shall I put it on I have washed my feet how shall I defile them c. and I lingered so long as that my beloved withdrew himself and at last I rose in my own time not when he called to open to my beloved and he was gone and then I called him but he did not answer me I sought him but did not find him and oh now my bowels my bowels is even pained for him and my soul panteth after him even as the hart panteth after the water brooks Oh that I could but find him whom my soul loveth oh I would hold him I would hold him fast I would not let him go he should lie all night in my bosom I would be watchful and diligent that I grieve him not and very fearful of displeasing of him and would take heed of giving him any cause whereby to leave me and thus to hide his face from me but oh alass for me when shall I find him when will he come whom I long for Oh when when shall I have my full enjoyment of him oh when will he bring me into his banqueting house and his love be even as a banner over me his left hand under my head and his right imbrasing of me staying me with flagons comforting me with apples making me sick of love giving me of his spised Wine and of the juice of his Pomgranets oh if thus I could come to enjoy him whom my soul loveth then would all tears be wiped away from mine eyes and I forget my sorrow because of joy and gladness and then should I look no more sorrowful but should rejoyce as Hannah did and say oh my heart rejoyceth in the Lord and my horn is exalted in the Lord and my mouth is enlarged over my enemy who said unto me I should be always barren and unfruitful because I rejoyce in his salvation who hath regarded my low estate oh now I the barren shall bear seven and she who hath had many Children wax feeble now I the parched ground become a Pool and I the dry hath springs of water now I the soletary place rejoyce and I the desart blossom as a Rose I the poor one made rich and I the weak one made strong I the foolish one made wise I the empty one overflow with fulness now the days of my sore mourning turned into joy and the nights of my sorrow turned into pleasure and the seasons of my seeking him whom my soul loveth turned into times of sweet reposes with him in his bed of solace But oh alass for me I may speak of these things but oh when when will it be thus with me oh how long shall I
Jerusalem and make her a praise in the whole Earth for ever more Oh my soul be watchful and wary that thou dost not in the least degree seek glory honor and praise to thy self and to be had in esteem by others but oh wait to feel self wholly baptized into death and made of no reputation and take heed that thy left hand know not what thy right hand doth and do nothing to be seen of men or whereby to be accounted of by others but in all thou doth appeal unto him who seeth in secret and he it is who will reward thee openly seek thou to be only known and manifested to the pure un-erring witness of God in all consciences and to stand justified and approved by it and that is enough no honor no glory no praise but to God alone oh strive not for Lordship and Mastership over others but rather strive to be most meekest lowest humblest tender and contrite in mind and spirit condescending even to the lowest and serving the meanest in love seeking peace and unity among bretheren with all self-denyal bearing forbearing and forgiving for the Seeds sake bearing with the infirmities of the weak and with the haltings of the feeble watching for the good in all without respect of persons but not to watch for evil in any for that is abominable in the eyes of the Lord and seek thou the glory of God alone the honor of his name the exaltation and spreading forth of his truth the freedome growth and reign of the Seed of God in the hearts of all the prosperity of his tender Lambs Babes and Children that they may all stand in this day of tryal and be preserved in this hour of darkness and temptation and even to seek the good of all yea the good of thy greatest Enemies and have nothing but love and good will towards thy greatest Persecuters seeking the salvation of all people but not the destruction of any And oh my soul be circumspect and vigilent to walk so as becometh the Gospel and thee to be an adorning to the truth of God and to be as an holy example and righteous pattern unto all people where ever I come that I may be unto the Lord as a sweet smell and delectable savour that the blessing of the Lord my God may be poured down upon me yet more and more that I might become fruitful unto the Lord my God and be an instrument in his hand amongst the Sons and Daughters of Men to the praise glory honor and renown of the Lord Almighty for ever more oh my soul watch and fear before the Lord and take heed thou do not that thing to please others which thou knowest is not approved by the Lord keep thy eye unto the Lord and look not out at others to walk by imitation and if thou seeth him or her one or another what ever they be accounted of do those things which the Lord allowes thee not to do do not thee do them because an other doth them but watch and keep close unto the Lord and take counsel of him Oh my soul do not judg or justifie those things which thou hath not a true discerning in because an other judges or justifies them but rather be passive in that matter and stand still and wait upon the Lord for a perfect understanding in all things Oh my soul seek not liberty to the flesh beware of that counted freedome which is indeed bondage which hath stollen upon many in their latter days oh my soul indeavour to put off those things which in their place are said to be lawful which are a means to hinder thy growth into the Eternal and oh walk wisely before all Men giving no offence to the Jew nor Gentile nor to the Church in God knowing that there is that which is lawful but not expedient there is that which is lawful but it edifies not wherefore forbear what may be forborn and yet be not brought under the power of any thing below the life but seek after those things which make for edification love peace and unity for God is the Author of peace and not the Author of confusion strife contention and debate Oh my soul thou doth greatly desire that I might not appear in the sight of any of the Lords Lambs and little ones to be more then what I really am in and through the grace of God by which I am what I am and his grace which he hath freely bestowed upon me hath not been in vain praises to his name for ever Oh I would not be accounted of by any little one to be more then what I am in the Lord but rather let me be hid least honour should be ascribed unto that unto which it doth not belong for indeed all honour belongs to God alone alass all flesh is as grass and what is Man he is but a Vessel wherein God may appear or disappear as he pleaseth and indeed the Lord is jealous of his glory and he will not give it unto another wherefore my soul seek the glory honour and praise to God alone unto whom only it is due for ever and ever more Oh my soul thou doth not want the love the dear unfained love of the Lords dear babes tender lambs and children and oh thou desireth thou may not want their prayers for thee oh my soul that I may be preserved in this day of trial and be enabled by the Lord to finish my Testimony for him to his praise and my comfort joy and peace for ever more Oh my soul fear thou before the living God and very diligently take heed least thou who stand'st should fall as several hath done to their own woe and to the dishonour of God and to the causing his unchangable Truth to be evil spoken of and many seekers after Righteousness to stumble and the hands of Sions enemies thereby strengthened against the faithful of the Lord w●ose hearts are made sad whom the Lord hath not made sad even in the sense of the sad condition of those who once in some measure were acquainted with the Lord once tasted of his goodness and graciousness of his sweet unspeakable love and peace and even in some measure tasted and handled of the word of life and of the Powers of the World to come who were delivered out of spiritual Egypt by an out-stretched Arm and Mighty Power and by the same power carried through the Spiritual sea and wilderness and did in measure eat of the spiritual meat and drink of the Spiritual Rock which was made unto them as a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of a cloud by day c. and yet behold they are drawn back again by the enemy of their soul through their yielding unto his temptations and receiving his proffers and are turned as the Dog to his vomit and as the sow that was washed to her wallowing again in the mire and hath even made shipwrack of faith and a good