even_o over_o his_o own_o people_n as_o if_o they_o be_v the_o most_o blind_a and_o deaf_a of_o any_o 22._o you_o be_v a_o people_n rob_v and_o spoil_v and_o prisoner_n 23._o but_o who_o say_v god_n will_v give_v ear_n &_o hear_v for_o time_n to_o come_v 24._o who_o give_v jacob_n for_o a_o spoil_n and_o israel_n to_o the_o robber_n do_v not_o i_o the_o lord_n he_o against_o who_o we_o have_v sin_v for_o they_o will_v not_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n nor_o be_v obedient_a to_o his_o law_n 25._o therefore_o he_o pour_v upon_o he_o the_o sury_n of_o his_o anger_n and_o the_o strength_n of_o battle_n and_o set_v he_o on_o fire_n round_o about_o yet_o he_o know_v not_o and_o it_o burn_v he_o yet_o he_o lay_v it_o not_o to_o heart_n a_o sad_a senseless_a estate_n under_o such_o a_o hand_n of_o god_n pour_v out_o with_o fury_n and_o anger_n and_o yet_o behold_v in_o the_o next_o chapter_n how_o full_a of_o grace_n mercy_n and_o kindness_n the_o lord_n appear_v to_o such_o a_o people_n as_o this_o i_o say_v behold_v and_o wonder_v at_o the_o admirable_a expression_n of_o love_n that_o immediate_o follow_v upon_o the_o rehearsal_n of_o this_o isa_n 43_o which_o be_v bring_v in_o with_o a_o but._n v._o 1._o but_o thus_o say_v the_o lord_n that_o create_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o that_o form_v thou_o o_o israel_n fear_v not_o why_o what_o can_v such_o a_o people_n do_v but_o fear_v if_o once_o make_v sensible_a of_o this_o their_o rent_n and_o miserable_a estate_n but_o behold_v how_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o to_o support_v they_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o say_v he_o i_o have_v redeem_v thou_o though_o thou_o be_v rob_v spoil_v and_o imprison_v yet_o fear_v not_o i_o have_v redeem_v you_o i_o have_v call_v thou_o by_o thy_o name_n thou_o be_v i_o oh_o what_o word_n be_v these_o able_a indeed_o to_o comfort_v a_o poor_a soul_n in_o the_o sad_a hour_n thou_o be_v i_o what_o i_o may_v the_o soul_n say_v one_o on_o who_o thou_o have_v pour_v out_o thy_o fury_n and_o anger_n not_o by_o drop_n but_o pour_v it_o out_o both_o fury_n and_o anger_n what_o be_o i_o thou_o what_o i_o though_o i_o have_v be_v set_v on_o fire_n round_o about_o and_o that_o by_o thou_o too_o and_o be_v burn_v yet_o i_o have_v be_v altogether_o insensible_a of_o it_o and_o so_o not_o lay_v it_o to_o heart_n and_o what_o be_o i_o thou_o o_o incredible_a love_n thou_o be_v i_o and_o what_o then_o i_o will_v proceed_v to_o give_v thou_o a_o further_a testimony_n of_o it_o 2._o for_o when_o thou_o pass_v through_o the_o water_n i_o will_v be_v with_o thou_o yea_o though_o it_o be_v through_o a_o river_n it_o shall_v not_o overflow_v thou_o yea_o when_o thou_o walk_v through_o the_o fire_n thou_o shall_v not_o be_v burn_v nor_o shall_v the_o flame_n kindle_v upon_o thou_o a_o clear_a demonstration_n of_o love_n but_o what_o be_v the_o reason_n of_o this_o how_o come_v this_o to_o pass_v why_o i_o be_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n thou_o be_v i_o yea_o i_o be_o thou_o and_o not_o only_o thy_o god_n but_o thy_o saviour_n and_o that_o thou_o may_v believe_v it_o the_o better_a i_o give_v egypt_n for_o thy_o ransom_n and_o ethiopia_n and_o sheba_n for_o thou_o yea_o thou_o be_v not_o only_o i_o but_o thou_o be_v precious_a in_o my_o sight_n and_o have_v be_v honourable_a and_o i_o have_v love_v thou_o therefore_o will_v i_o give_v man_n for_o thou_o and_o people_n for_o thy_o life_n for_o no_o other_o reason_n but_o even_o because_o i_o love_v thou_o one_o will_v think_v where_o so_o much_o love_n be_v manifest_v there_o can_v be_v no_o room_n for_o fear_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o know_v how_o apt_a his_o poor_a creature_n be_v to_o be_v jealous_a of_o his_o love_n add_v yet_o further_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o and_o will_v gather_v thou_o from_o all_o part_n even_o every_o one_o that_o be_v call_v by_o my_o name_n for_o i_o have_v create_v he_o for_o my_o glory_n well_o may_v the_o lord_n summon_v all_o the_o nation_n of_o the_o earth_n to_o produce_v such_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n as_o these_o be_v and_o give_v witness_n and_o testimony_n to_o it_o or_o else_o say_v he_o let_v they_o believe_v this_o and_o say_v it_o be_v truth_n you_o be_v my_o witness_n say_v the_o lord_n of_o my_o deal_n with_o you_o of_o old_a will_v they_o not_o testify_v to_o thou_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o that_o so_o you_o may_v out_o of_o former_a experience_n of_o i_o believe_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o now_o speak_v for_o i_o be_o he_o what_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v of_o old_a for_o you_o it_o be_v i_o be_o he_o that_o do_v it_o for_o before_o i_o there_o be_v no_o good_a nor_o after_o i_o shall_v there_o be_v any_o i_o be_o the_o lord_n and_o beside_o i_o there_o be_v no_o saviour_n our_o be_v there_o any_o that_o can_v deliver_v out_o of_o my_o hand_n i_o will_v work_v and_o who_o shall_v let_v it_o yet_o far_o to_o confirm_v their_o faith_n the_o lord_n bow_v down_o and_o tell_v they_o 14._o thus_o say_v the_o lord_n your_o redeemer_n for_o your_o sake_n have_v i_o bring_v down_o the_o chaldaean_n &c_n &c_n 15._o i_o be_o the_o lord_n your_o holy_a one_o the_o creator_n of_o israel_n your_o king_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v say_v all_z that_o i_o be_o i_o be_o as_o thou_o for_o i_o be_o thy_o holy_a one_o and_o thy_o king_n and_o thy_o god_n and_o thy_o saviour_n and_o the_o like_a 16._o thus_o say_v the_o lord_n that_o make_v away_o in_o the_o sea_n and_o a_o path_n in_o the_o mighty_a water_n what_o will_v thou_o fear_v that_o have_v such_o a_o king_n such_o a_o god_n such_o a_o redeemer_n to_o be_v thou_o that_o can_v make_v a_o way_n in_o the_o sea_n 17._o which_o bring_v forth_o the_o chariot_n and_o horse_n &_o c_o 18._o remember_v you_o not_o the_o former_a thing_n nor_o consider_v that_o of_o old_a as_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v say_v have_v you_o forget_v what_o a_o mighty_a god_n i_o be_o how_o glorious_o i_o appear_v for_o you_o at_o the_o red_a sea_n make_v a_o way_n for_o you_o to_o go_v through_o and_o drown_v of_o your_o enemy_n remember_v you_o it_o not_o must_v i_o be_v fain_o to_o put_v you_o in_o mind_n of_o my_o old_a love_n to_o beget_v new_a trust_n &_o confidence_n why_o then_o fear_v not_o but_o roll_n upon_o i_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v 19_o for_o behold_v i_o will_v do_v a_o new_a thing_n now_o it_o shall_v spring_v forth_o i_o will_v even_o make_v a_o way_n in_o the_o wilderness_n &_o river_n in_o the_o desert_n &_o this_o work_n shall_v be_v so_o glorious_a 20._o that_o the_o very_a beast_n of_o the_o field_n shall_v honour_v i_o the_o dragon_n and_o the_o owl_n because_o i_o give_v drink_n to_o my_o people_n my_o choose_a 21._o this_o people_n have_v i_o form_v for_o myself_o they_o shall_v show_v forth_o my_o praise_n o_o bless_a for_o ever_o be_v the_o lord_n that_o have_v undertake_v this_o work_n and_o put_v a_o issue_n to_o it_o oh_o lord_n let_v it_o be_v so_o then_o oh_o what_o glorious_a thing_n be_v here_o proceed_v from_o god_n heart_n but_o when_o he_o come_v to_o look_v upon_o his_o people_n and_o their_o frame_n of_o spirit_n he_o find_v matter_n of_o sad_a lamentation_n which_o be_v bring_v in_o with_o a_o sad_a black_a but._n 22._o but_o thou_o have_v not_o call_v upon_o i_o o_o jacob_n but_o again_o thou_o have_v be_v weary_a of_o i_o o_o israel_n thou_o have_v not_o bring_v i_o the_o small_a cattle_n for_o burnt-offering_n nor_o honour_v i_o with_o thy_o sacrifice_n i_o have_v not_o cause_v thou_o to_o serve_v with_o any_o offering_n nor_o have_v i_o weary_v thou_o with_o incense_n 24._o thou_o have_v bring_v i_o no_o sweet_a corn_n with_o money_n nor_o fill_v i_o with_o the_o fat_a of_o thy_o sacrifiâ—…s_n then_o come_v in_o another_o sad_a but_o but_o thou_o have_v make_v i_o to_o serve_v with_o thy_o sin_n thou_o have_v weary_v i_o with_o thy_o iniquity_n i_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o name_n sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v say_v when_o i_o look_v upon_o thou_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o provocation_n and_o i_o be_o weary_a to_o bear_v it_o nevertheless_o i_o will_v blot_v out_o thy_o sin_n though_o not_o for_o thou_o yet_o for_o my_o own_o name_n sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o sin_n and_o that_o he_o may_v yet_o hold_v to_o all_o more_o abundant_a expression_n of_o love_n he_o add_v in_o the_o next_o verse_n speak_v put_v i_o iâ—_n remembrance_n a_o bless_a word_n
into_o my_o spirit_n to_o beat_v i_o off_o from_o that_o pitch_n of_o faith_n which_o i_o then_o find_v my_o spirit_n breathe_v after_o viz._n that_o where_o the_o lord_n give_v such_o great_a strength_n of_o faith_n or_o any_o other_o grace_n he_o give_v also_o as_o great_a trial_n and_o that_o therefore_o if_o i_o have_v the_o one_o i_o must_v expect_v the_o other_o also_o and_o so_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o pull_v down_o sorrow_n affliction_n and_o trial_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o also_o in_o lie_v under_o they_o and_o so_o sad_o dishonour_n god_n as_o now_o i_o do_v which_o at_o the_o present_a do_v somewhat_o take_v of_o the_o edge_n of_o my_o affection_n and_o weaken_v my_o former_a desire_n until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a temptation_n whether_o from_o satan_n or_o my_o own_o heart_n my_o deceitful_a but_o subtle_a enemy_n to_o scare_v i_o with_o such_o fear_n which_o temptation_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o overcome_v with_o grief_n that_o i_o shall_v in_o the_o least_o parley_n with_o it_o and_o again_o to_o renew_v my_o former_a desire_n and_o withal_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a presence_n with_o i_o in_o all_o whatever_o trial_n and_o condition_n he_o shall_v bring_v i_o under_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o dishonour_v he_o under_o they_o and_o manifest_v himself_o to_o i_o through_o they_o and_o then_o to_o do_v with_o i_o as_o seem_v he_o good_a a_o few_o day_n after_o as_o i_o be_v one_o evening_n write_v a_o letter_n unto_o a_o dear_a kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o at_o that_o time_n lie_v under_o some_o sad_a dispensation_n from_o the_o lord_n whereupon_o i_o take_v occasion_n to_o urge_v that_o promise_n upon_o she_o in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o and_o we_o know_v that_o all_o thing_n work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o while_o i_o be_v endeavour_v to_o press_v upon_o she_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o cause_v it_o to_o fall_v with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n which_o be_v set_v home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o only_o as_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v rest_v upon_o and_o expect_v the_o performance_n of_o but_o as_o that_o which_o i_o have_v have_v much_o experience_n through_o all_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o i_o to_o have_v be_v continual_o make_v good_a so_o that_o the_o experience_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n for_o many_o year_n in_o all_o the_o affliction_n and_o exercise_n i_o have_v lyen_fw-we under_o whether_o in_o body_n or_o mind_n in_o loss_n of_o relation_n or_o comfort_n etc._n etc._n yea_o the_o very_a withhold_n â—he_v light_a of_o god_n face_n which_o be_v life_n itself_o â—_o do_v testify_v to_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o word_n have_v be_v all_o of_o they_o by_o the_o lord_n bring_v and_o wrought_v about_o for_o my_o good_a the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o cleave_v the_o close_a to_o himself_o and_o take_v the_o fast_o hold_v of_o he_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o all_o which_o there_o fall_v this_o far_a hint_n with_o some_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o it_o shall_v also_o be_v even_o so_o with_o i_o in_o respect_n of_o those_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_v still_o pester_v with_o and_o groan_v under_o but_o there_o be_v yet_o especial_o at_o some_o time_n many_o confuse_a fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o can_v give_v very_o little_a reason_n for_o upon_o the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v yet_o further_o to_o appear_v with_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o do_v much_o refresh_v it_o it_o be_v thus_o mr._n knight_n be_v in_o the_o afternoon_n in_o his_o ministry_n at_o fulham_n upon_o that_o scripture_n in_o heb._n 2._o 1_o 2_o 3._o stir_v we_o up_o to_o hearken_v diligent_o to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o not_o to_o let_v any_o of_o his_o word_n at_o any_o timeslip_n out_o of_o our_o heart_n whence_o also_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o comfort_v the_o people_n of_o god_n upon_o this_o account_n that_o christ_n shall_v think_v their_o ear_n worthy_a of_o hear_v his_o voice_n &_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o always_o send_v his_o messenger_n nor_o make_v use_n of_o instrument_n but_o shall_v often_o rather_o as_o it_o be_v choose_v to_o speak_v himsel_n at_o which_o word_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o touch_v my_o heart_n and_o to_o make_v it_o sweet_o to_o melt_v before_o he_o with_o joy_n to_o think_v that_o christ_n shall_v thus_o speak_v to_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o now_o see_v he_o have_v do_v by_o he_o 2_o year_n before_o who_o when_o he_o have_v visit_v i_o with_o that_o sore_a loss_n of_o my_o dear_a parent_n and_o cast_v i_o and_o my_o mother_n both_o upon_o our_o sick_a bed_n neither_o of_o we_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v to_o each_o other_o yea_o when_o no_o friend_n or_o creature_n either_o can_v or_o do_v endeavour_v to_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o be_v in_o a_o most_o sad_a condition_n for_o want_n of_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o god_n under_o all_o these_o dispensation_n of_o his_o towards_o i_o who_o have_v as_o it_o be_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n as_o i_o now_o real_o believe_v he_o do_v shut_v up_o and_o stop_v all_o other_o mouth_n yet_o that_o now_o the_o lord_n jesus_n shall_v choose_v to_o speak_v himself_o as_o i_o find_v he_o have_v do_v in_o some_o measure_n support_v my_o spirit_n which_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v and_o give_v up_o under_o the_o heavy_a burden_n it_o lay_v both_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n and_o wrath_n all_o which_o be_v put_v together_o oh_o how_o do_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o love_n both_o melt_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o same_o week_n bring_v to_o my_o mimd_n and_o thought_n those_o word_n that_o be_v record_v of_o job_n in_o job_n 9_o 11._o which_o after_o i_o have_v pause_v a_o little_a upon_o contrary_a to_o my_o intention_n or_o thought_n i_o go_v on_o still_o read_v though_o but_o in_o a_o brief_a quick_a way_n be_v straighten_v of_o time_n for_o it_o be_v late_o in_o the_o evening_n but_o i_o take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o whole_a book_n of_o job_n until_o i_o come_v to_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o the_o thing_n in_o general_a that_o be_v hint_v to_o i_o and_o fall_v upon_o my_o spirit_n from_o the_o whole_a be_v this_o that_o none_o of_o all_o job_n friend_n who_o endeavour_v to_o speak_v to_o he_o can_v neither_o hint_n out_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n or_o of_o conviction_n to_o he_o in_o this_o sad_a estate_n none_o of_o all_o their_o word_n take_v hold_v at_o all_o upon_o his_o spirit_n until_o god_n himself_o come_v to_o speak_v and_o then_o one_o word_n of_o god_n do_v it_o make_v he_o cry_v out_o job_n 40._o 45._o behold_v i_o be_o vile_a what_o shall_v i_o answer_v thou_o i_o will_v lay_v my_o hand_n upon_o my_o mouth_n once_o have_v i_o speak_v but_o i_o will_v not_o answer_v yea_o twice_o but_o i_o will_v proceed_v no_o further_o and_o again_o job_n 42._o 5_o 6._o i_o have_v hear_v of_o thou_o by_o the_o hear_n of_o the_o ear_n but_o now_o my_o eye_n see_v thou_o therefore_o i_o abhor_v myself_o and_o repent_v in_o dust_n and_o ash_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v when_o god_n speak_v which_o cause_v i_o strong_o to_o reflect_v upon_o my_o own_o heart_n thereby_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o instruction_n conviction_n and_o comfort_n have_v be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n for_o many_o year_n pass_v by_o several_a friend_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n hold_v out_o to_o i_o which_o never_o take_v any_o hold_n at_o all_o upon_o my_o spirit_n but_o when_o god_n himself_o will_v take_v in_o hand_n to_o speak_v he_o can_v bring_v thing_n past_a and_o go_v quite_o back_o again_o as_o he_o do_v the_o sun_n upon_o it_o he_o dial_n of_o ahaz_n 2_o king_n 22._o 11._o and_o bring_v they_o fresh_a into_o memory_n and_o cause_n the_o soul_n to_o see_v his_o hand_n and_o work_v in_o all_o and_o so_o to_o abhor_v itself_o for_o those_o abominable_a unbelieved_a thought_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n that_o have_v be_v upon_o its_o heart_n when_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o beget_v in_o the_o soul_n good_a and_o honourable_a thought_n of_o he_o then_o hear_v this_o same_o night_n that_o mr._n simpson_n be_v next_o morning_n be_v the_o three_o day_n of_o this_o week_n to_o begin_v his_o lecture_n in_o friday_n street_n
magnify_v the_o name_n of_o our_o prayer-hearing_a god_n a_o god_n that_o delight_v in_o mercy_n and_o in_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o to_o his_o poor_a worthless_a creature_n beseech_v he_o further_a to_o increase_v my_o faith_n and_o help_v i_o to_o act_v it_o lively_a at_o this_o present_a in_o a_o plentiful_a feed_n upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n that_o so_o my_o soul_n may_v find_v abundant_a strength_n heal_v and_o cleanse_v to_o issue_n from_o he_o in_o who_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o help_n lie_v the_o same_o ten_o of_o this_o six_o month_n the_o second_o paper_n that_o i_o put_v up_o this_o day_n be_v in_o relation_n to_o our_o communion_n which_o i_o thus_o express_v one_o of_o this_o despise_a handful_n desire_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o humble_v our_o soul_n before_o he_o that_o we_o have_v be_v guilty_a before_o he_o of_o rashness_n and_o inconsiderateness_n together_o with_o want_n of_o love_n and_o tenderness_n to_o each_o other_o which_o the_o lord_n make_v every_o soul_n of_o we_o deep_o sensible_a of_o and_o help_v we_o to_o abound_v more_o to_o his_o praise_n in_o every_o good_a word_n and_o work_n that_o we_o may_v never_o by_o any_o of_o our_o weakness_n and_o miscarriage_n be_v any_o occasion_n to_o darken_v his_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n in_o answer_n to_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o some_o measure_n to_o draw_v out_o the_o heart_n of_o mr._n k._n to_o confess_v this_o iniquity_n before_o the_o lord_n with_o it_o a_o sense_n of_o and_o to_o mourn_v for_o one_o who_o come_v in_o at_o the_o first_o without_o due_a trial_n which_o i_o hope_v not_o without_o some_o ground_n the_o lord_n have_v set_v it_o home_o upon_o many_o if_o not_o all_o our_o spirit_n with_o adeepsense_n of_o our_o miscarrage_n in_o it_o the_o ten_o of_o the_o six_o month_n be_v the_o paper_n put_v up_o also_o to_o present_v to_o the_o lord_n by_o mr._n knight_n at_o a_o day_n of_o fast_n thus_o one_o desire_v your_o earnest_a prayer_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o to_o spread_v the_o sad_a condition_n of_o one_o in_o near_a relation_n to_o she_o that_o conceive_v himself_o in_o a_o happy_a condition_n when_o there_o be_v ground_n enough_o to_o fear_v the_o contrary_a she_o desire_v you_o together_o with_o she_o to_o beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o discover_v it_o to_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v no_o rest_n in_o his_o soul_n till_o he_o be_v bring_v home_o and_o build_v upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n that_o only_a foundation_n the_o same_o ten_o of_o this_o six_o month_n 1653._o one_o who_o be_v compass_v with_o such_o a_o body_n of_o death_n and_o corruption_n under_o which_o the_o party_n sad_o mourn_v pollute_v all_o that_o ever_o she_o put_v her_o hand_n unto_o therefore_o she_o desire_v your_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v come_v and_o dwell_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o be_v as_o a_o refiner_n fire_n and_o as_o full_a soap_n to_o cleanse_v she_o and_o to_o burn_v up_o whatsoever_o be_v contrary_a to_o himself_o or_o any_o way_n darken_v his_o glory_n the_o 13_o of_o the_o six_o month_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n exceed_o to_o beg_v a_o increase_n of_o faith_n even_o beyond_o sight_n &_o sense_n that_o though_o i_o can_v not_o see_v corruption_n dead_a yet_o that_o i_o may_v believe_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o in_o god_n time_n as_o also_o to_o beg_v for_o our_o sister_n harris_n her_o mother_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o cure_v she_o of_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n who_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o this_o bondage_n and_o help_v she_o to_o commit_v her_o soul_n to_o he_o as_o a_o faithful_a creator_n and_o a_o everlasting_a love_a tender-hearted_a father_n the_o fifteen_o day_n of_o the_o six_o month_n be_v discover_v to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v often_o think_v that_o if_o i_o have_v but_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n than_o nothing_o can_v trouble_v i_o but_o i_o shall_v be_v swallow_v up_o with_o joy_n and_o even_o overcome_v with_o it_o but_o oh_o my_o soul_n have_v it_o be_v thus_o with_o thou_o since_o the_o lord_n appear_v abundant_o in_o way_n of_o refreshment_n to_o thou_o or_o rather_o quit_v contrary_a since_o thou_o have_v be_v set_v free_a from_o from_o the_o fear_n of_o hell_n and_o wrath_n oh_o how_o sad_a to_o think_v that_o ever_o thou_o shall_v live_v to_o rebel_v against_o such_o a_o god_n a_o father_n of_o so_o much_o mercy_n about_o the_o end_n of_o the_o seven_o month_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o lay_v some_o light_a affliction_n upon_o my_o poor_a body_n thereby_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n after_o this_o manner_n to_o he_o bless_a lord_n what_o may_v thy_o end_n be_v in_o thy_o fatherly_a chastisement_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v discover_v it_o and_o rather_o let_v this_o affliction_n abide_v continue_v yea_o be_v increase_v and_o augment_v what_o thou_o will_v rather_o than_o that_o the_o corruption_n shall_v not_o be_v discover_v and_o purge_v out_o which_o request_n be_v still_o continue_v then_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v in_o some_o measure_n in_o answer_n hereunto_o to_o discover_v those_o thing_n follow_v to_o i_o which_o i_o know_v not_o but_o that_o he_o may_v much_o aim_n at_o as_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n have_v some_o respect_n to_o thy_o want_n of_o pity_n and_o compassion_n to_o one_o in_o misery_n may_v not_o the_o lord_n lie_v his_o hand_n upon_o thou_o though_o not_o in_o that_o kind_n nay_o be_v he_o not_o righteous_a if_o he_o shall_v lay_v the_o same_o stroke_n have_v not_o thou_o deserve_v it_o as_o well_o as_o she_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n do_v it_o to_o call_v thou_o home_o and_o quicken_v thou_o from_o thy_o sloth_n deadness_n &_o dulness_n and_o the_o estrangement_n of_o heart_n that_o be_v so_o fast_o a_o grow_n between_o thy_o soul_n and_o the_o lord_n o_o bless_a father_n say_v my_o soul_n let_v my_o corruption_n be_v wrought_v out_o and_o thy_o poor_a creature_n quicken_v be_v not_o thy_o heart_n and_o affection_n exceed_o run_v out_o from_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o creature_n oh_o blened_a be_v that_o stroke_n that_o call_v thou_o back_o so_o that_o this_o work_n be_v but_o do_v by_o it_o the_o three_o day_n of_o the_o eight_o month_n be_v much_o oppress_v in_o spirit_n with_o the_o thought_n of_o the_o dishonour_n that_o will_v come_v to_o god_n and_o scandal_n to_o the_o gospel_n by_o the_o sad_a fall_n of_o one_o of_o our_o brethren_n and_o the_o fear_n that_o be_v upon_o my_o heart_n touch_v he_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n this_o evening_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o discover_v to_o our_o soul_n in_o general_a and_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o particular_a what_o his_o end_n be_v in_o gather_v this_o poor_a handful_n together_o tell_v he_o i_o hope_v he_o do_v not_o do_v it_o to_o make_v we_o the_o instrument_n of_o his_o dishonour_n to_o the_o world_n and_o withal_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o it_o i_o very_o believe_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o that_o same_o day_n to_o reflect_v back_o upon_o my_o own_o soul_n what_o my_o end_n be_v enjoin_v in_o that_o communion_n and_o as_o i_o be_v press_v the_o lord_n to_o show_v i_o why_o or_o to_o what_o end_n he_o have_v direct_v i_o to_o join_v in_o that_o society_n tell_v he_o withal_o that_o sure_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o attend_v upon_o direction_n in_o it_o and_o that_o if_o any_o other_o thing_n what_o ever_o do_v bias_n my_o spirit_n in_o the_o act_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o discover_v it_o to_o i_o whereupon_o i_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o to_o examine_v my_o heart_n about_o it_o and_o that_o if_o i_o be_v bias_v by_o any_o wrong_a respect_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v convince_v i_o of_o it_o and_o humble_a my_o soul_n deep_o for_o it_o and_o pardon_v it_o in_o christ_n blood_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n deal_v impartial_o in_o this_o work_n of_o examination_n in_o this_o thing_n and_o spread_v it_o before_o he_o this_o letter_n be_v give_v to_o master_n knight_n what_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n about_o upon_o the_o nine_o of_o this_o month_n 1653._o dear_a sir_n sathan_n have_v often_o beset_v my_o soul_n to_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v it_o from_o a_o present_a participate_v in_o this_o holy_a ordinance_n upon_o several_a pretence_n and_o have_v again_o now_o attempt_v it_o i_o dare_v no_o long_o keep_v his_o counsel_n but_o in_o the_o impart_v of_o it_o i_o crave_v that_o help_n of_o your_o prayer_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o disappoint_v he_o in_o all_o his_o vice_n that_o wherein_o he_o seek_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v
be_v the_o lord_n that_o bring_v we_o up_o out_o of_o the_o land_n of_o egypt_n that_o lead_v we_o through_o the_o wilderness_n through_o a_o land_n of_o desert_n and_o of_o pit_n through_o a_o land_n of_o drought_n &_o of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n through_o a_o land_n that_o no_o man_n pass_v through_o and_o where_o no_o man_n dwell_v &_o v._n 7_o bring_v you_o into_o a_o plentiful_a land_n to_o eat_v the_o fruit_n thereof_o and_o the_o goodness_n thereof_o but_o you_o enter_v you_o defile_v my_o land_n and_o make_v my_o heritage_n a_o abomination_n and_o be_v not_o this_o my_o condition_n how_o do_v the_o lord_n with_o a_o strong_a and_o mighty_a hand_n bring_v i_o out_o of_o the_o egyptian_a bondage_n that_o sad_a slavery_n that_o i_o be_v in_o under_o satan_n and_o those_o cruel_a taskmaster_n he_o set_v over_o i_o in_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o conscience_n my_o corruption_n and_o guilt_n which_o lay_v insupportable_a burden_n upon_o i_o both_o way_n command_v i_o to_o make_v brick_n lay_v the_o law_n before_o i_o but_o give_v i_o no_o strength_n to_o do_v it_o nay_o continual_o hinder_v and_o pull_v i_o back_o from_o it_o and_o yet_o scourge_v i_o for_o all_o the_o neglect_n of_o it_o yea_o through_o a_o wilderness_n through_o a_o land_n of_o desert_n do_v he_o carry_v i_o in_o which_o i_o think_v i_o see_v myself_o whole_o desert_v of_o god_n which_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o through_o a_o land_n of_o pit_n yea_o pit_n on_o every_o hand_n into_o which_o i_o be_v ready_a still_o to_o fall_v through_o a_o land_n of_o drought_n wherein_o my_o soul_n be_v ready_a to_o faint_v in_o i_o for_o thirst_n after_o the_o lord_n yea_o through_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n and_o oh_o how_o then_o have_v the_o lord_n bring_v i_o into_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n time_n after_o time_n lay_v i_o on_o my_o sick_a bed_n and_o pale_a death_n still_o look_v i_o in_o the_o face_n with_o dreadful_a terror_n and_o amazement_n yea_o to_o the_o very_a pit_n brinck_v of_o hell_n in_o my_o own_o apprehension_n which_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o death_n yea_o through_o a_o land_n where_o no_o man_n pass_v or_o dwell_v have_v none_o to_o condole_v my_o misery_n none_o be_v acquaint_v with_o it_o or_o i_o but_o wander_v as_o it_o be_v by_o myself_o think_v and_o deem_v that_o no_o soul_n be_v in_o half_a so_o sad_a a_o condition_n as_o i_o be_v but_o on_o the_o contrary_a have_v not_o the_o lord_n since_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v but_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o it_o bring_v i_o into_o a_o plentiful_a country_n shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n give_v i_o some_o taste_n and_o glimpse_n i_o hope_v of_o the_o good_a land_n which_o while_o i_o be_v thus_o enter_v into_o i_o do_v sad_o wax_v careless_a and_o remiss_a after_o some_o time_n and_o too_o much_o take_v with_o the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n and_o let_v out_o my_o heart_n too_o much_o to_o the_o creature-comfort_n v._n 9_o wherefore_o say_v the_o lord_n i_o will_v plead_v with_o you_o and_o with_o your_o child_n child_n will_v i_o plead_v have_v any_o nation_n change_v their_o god_n which_o be_v no_o god_n but_o my_o people_n have_v change_v their_o glory_n for_o that_o which_o do_v not_o profit_n v._n 13._o they_o have_v commit_v two_o evil_n they_o have_v forsake_v i_o the_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n and_o hew_v on_o it_o to_o themselves_o cistern_n break_a cistern_n that_o can_v hold_v no_o water_n oh_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n righteous_o complain_v thus_o of_o i_o have_v not_o i_o too_o much_o decline_v from_o he_o and_o run_v out_o after_o creature_n in_o my_o affection_n and_o desire_n and_o place_v too_o much_o happiness_n in_o other_o thing_n which_o have_v be_v make_v appear_v to_o be_v break_v cistern_n that_o can_v not_o hold_v any_o water_n v._n 14_o 15_o 16_o and_o now_o say_v the_o lord_n why_o be_v thou_o speil_v have_v the_o lion_n roar_v upon_o thou_o and_o be_v thy_o crown_n spoil_v v._n 17._o have_v thou_o not_o procure_v this_o to_o thyself_o in_o that_o thou_o have_v forsake_v the_o lord_n thy_o god_n whon_v he_o lead_v thou_o by_o the_o way_n oh_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n rghteous_o say_v thus_o to_o thou_o be_v the_o lion_n let_v loose_a upon_o thou_o do_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n come_v in_o again_o upon_o thou_o and_o be_v satan_n let_v loose_a in_o any_o measure_n to_o torment_v thou_o may_v thou_o not_o thank_v thyself_o have_v thou_o not_o bring_v it_o on_o thou_o be_v it_o not_o righteous_a with_o the_o lord_n to_o do_v so_o by_o thou_o v._n 18._o what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v in_o the_o way_n of_o egypt_n i.e._n to_o return_v from_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o creature_n to_o seek_v any_o good_a what_o ever_o what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v to_o drink_v the_o water_n of_o shiloh_n or_o the_o water_n of_o the_o river_n or_o in_o the_o way_n of_o the_o aijyrians_n v._n 19_o thy_o own_o wickedness_n shall_v correct_v thou_o oh_o lord_n and_o have_v thou_o noâ—_n make_v it_o to_o do_v so_o and_o thy_o back_n sliding_n reprove_v thou_o know_v therefore_o and_o see_v that_o it_o be_v a_o evit_fw-la thing_n and_o bitter_a that_o thou_o have_v forsake_v the_o lord_n thy_o god_n and_o that_o his_o fear_n be_v not_o in_o thou_o v._n 20_o for_o of_o old_a time_n i_o have_v break_v thy_o yoke_n bless_a lord_n thou_o have_v and_o burst_v thy_o band_n and_o thou_o say_v will_v not_o transgress_v yea_o lord_n it_o be_v very_o true_a yet_o i_o have_v so_o do_v again_o v._n 23._o how_o can_v thou_o say_v i_o be_o not_o pollute_v see_v thy_o way_n in_o the_o valley_n know_v what_o thou_o have_v do_v thou_o be_v a_o swift_a dromidary_n traverse_v her_o way_n do_v but_o consider_v with_o thyself_o and_o thou_o shall_v see_v what_o thou_o take_v and_o how_o unwearied_a thy_o wicked_a heart_n be_v in_o its_o continual_a traverse_v that_o by_o be_v frequent_o carry_v out_o after_o other_o thing_n than_o i_o v._n 24._o a_o wild_a ass_n that_o be_v use_v to_o the_o wilderness_n that_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n at_o her_o pleasure_n in_o her_o occasion_n who_o can_v turn_v she_o away_o all_o they_o that_o seek_v she_o will_v weary_v themselves_o in_o her_o month_n they_o find_v she_o bless_a lord_n how_o clear_o do_v thou_o point_n as_o it_o be_v at_o my_o wicked_a heart_n which_o like_o a_o wild_a ass_n a_o rugged_a thing_n and_o wild_a also_o very_o untamed_a and_o unruly_a unwilling_a to_o endure_v to_o be_v hold_v in_o by_o any_o bridle_n or_o make_v any_o way_n ferviceable_a to_o thou_o but_o use_v to_o the_o wilderness_n frequent_o converse_v and_o run_v out_o after_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o wilder_a world_n yea_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n and_o be_v not_o this_o a_o righteous_a judgement_n from_o thou_o that_o what_o ever_o my_o heart_n run_v out_o after_o but_o thyself_o it_o shall_v be_v but_o as_o wind_v that_o for_o the_o present_a fill_v but_o satisfi_v not_o nourish_v not_o but_o in_o the_o end_n torment_v and_o cause_v pang_n &_o tear_v in_o the_o bowel_n oh_o this_o be_v the_o misery_n of_o my_o wretched_a heart_n that_o it_o can_v take_v and_o fall_v in_o with_o the_o world_n but_o hardly_o take_v off_o who_o can_v turn_v she_o away_o oh_o lord_n how_o hard_o be_v it_o to_o give_v a_o turn_n to_o this_o wretched_a heart_n run_v out_o after_o any_o vanity_n here_o below_o who_o can_v turn_v it_o thy_o messenger_n may_v come_v and_o come_v with_o thy_o word_n in_o their_o mouth_n and_o cry_v stop_v and_o stand_v and_o make_v a_o parley_n but_o they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o give_v a_o real_a turn_n yea_o thou_o be_v please_v often_o time_n to_o come_v in_o with_o many_o a_o sweet_a motion_n by_o thy_o spirit_n and_o yet_o this_o give_v not_o a_o effectual_a turn_n neither_o yea_o thou_o come_v in_o often_o time_n &_o many_o way_n sometime_o by_o mercy_n sometime_o by_o affliction_n and_o yet_o these_o neither_o can_v sound_v a_o retreat_n oh_o that_o thou_o who_o only_a can_v do_v it_o will_v once_o please_v to_o give_v such_o a_o real_a turn_n to_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o pursuit_n after_o any_o thing_n but_o thyself_o that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v so_o any_o more_o v._n 31._o have_v i_o be_v a_o wilderness_n to_o israel_n oh_o lord_n thou_o have_v not_o be_v so_o to_o my_o soul_n v._n 32._o can_v a_o maid_n forget_v her_o ornament_n and_o yet_o my_o people_n have_v forget_v i_o oh_o lord_n must_v not_o i_o cry_v guilty_a before_o thou_o here_o for_o do_v i_o remember_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o so_o often_o sin_n against_o thou_o v._n 33._o why_o trim_a thou_o thy_o way_n to_o seek_v lovet_v v._n 36._o why_o gadde_v thou_o
experience_n to_o be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n for_o i_o find_v he_o now_o also_o as_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v to_o his_o glory_n speak_v come_v in_o very_o much_o as_o it_o be_v fit_v i_o for_o this_o mercy_n by_o give_v in_o out_o of_o his_o own_o free_a grace_n to_o his_o poor_a unworthy_a creature_n yet_o a_o more_o full_a and_o clear_a sight_n of_o his_o work_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o so_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o he_o by_o mean_n whereof_o i_o may_v now_o the_o more_o comfortable_o offer_v up_o myself_o into_o the_o communion_n of_o his_o people_n without_o a_o sight_n of_o which_o i_o shall_v hardly_o i_o think_v have_v presume_v to_o have_v do_v which_o work_n of_o his_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o help_v on_o by_o several_a of_o his_o servant_n in_o mr._n knight_n absence_n as_o mr._n sidrach_n simpson_n and_o mr._n rogers_n who_o he_o be_v please_v to_o make_v instrumental_a for_o my_o soul_n advantage_n and_o comfort_n at_o this_o time_n which_o the_o lord_n thus_o carry_v on_o until_o it_o be_v towards_o the_o end_n of_o the_o seven_o month_n common_o call_v september_n in_o this_o year_n 1652._o at_o which_o time_n mr._n knight_n be_v return_v home_o and_o remove_n to_o fulham_n where_o the_o lord_n open_v a_o door_n for_o his_o people_n to_o join_v in_o communion_n together_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n the_o lord_n now_o offer_v i_o this_o opportunity_n which_o i_o have_v so_o much_o long_v for_o and_o his_o servant_n mr._n knight_n to_o who_o i_o have_v former_o by_o a_o other_o friend_n intimate_v my_o desire_n he_o i_o say_v acquaint_v i_o with_o it_o i_o dare_v not_o rash_o deny_v to_o join_v with_o they_o but_o what_o fear_n and_o tremble_n there_o be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n at_o this_o time_n be_v know_v only_o to_o the_o lord_n for_o indeed_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o in_o which_o trouble_n my_o refuge_n as_o former_o be_v only_o to_o go_v to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v and_o earnest_o importune_v he_o now_o to_o appear_v and_o give_v in_o direction_n to_o his_o poor_a creature_n who_o be_v now_o in_o such_o a_o straight_a as_o that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v but_o so_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n lean_v alone_o upon_o the_o lord_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o direction_n i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n appoint_v to_o meet_v in_o not_o know_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v in_o it_o take_v little_a or_o no_o rest_n all_o the_o night_n before_o but_o come_v there_o next_o morning_n and_o be_v still_o much_o oppress_v in_o spirit_n in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o eye_n as_o it_o be_v i_o can_v not_o express_v how_o or_o which_o way_n my_o spirit_n be_v on_o a_o sudden_a wrought_v over_o to_o give_v my_o consent_n and_o so_o to_o join_v with_o they_o they_o be_v as_o they_o conceive_v well_o satisfy_v in_o the_o long_a knowledge_n they_o have_v have_v of_o each_o other_o and_o their_o frequent_a converse_v together_o some_o whereof_o be_v in_o order_n to_o this_o very_a work_n which_o have_v be_v much_o desire_v by_o those_o few_o person_n that_o then_o join_v and_o they_o so_o long_o interrupt_v and_o have_v put_v up_o many_o petition_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n concern_v it_o mr._n barker_n be_v then_o present_a and_o carry_v the_o intend_a work_n by_o prayer_n and_o counsel_n we_o join_v together_o in_o the_o fellowship_n of_o the_o gospel_n but_o this_o work_n be_v not_o perform_v in_o so_o solemn_a a_o manner_n as_o i_o for_o my_o part_n can_v have_v desire_v both_o in_o set_v more_o time_n a_o part_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n together_o in_o it_o and_o to_o have_v endeavour_v to_o have_v give_v more_o full_a satisfaction_n to_o each_o other_o of_o the_o work_n of_o god_n in_o each_o other_o heart_n which_o lie_v as_o a_o burden_n upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o often_o bewail_v before_o the_o lord_n and_o also_o move_v it_o to_o some_o of_o our_o friend_n that_o we_o may_v yet_o meet_v and_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n to_o this_o end_n which_o be_v not_o think_v meet_v at_o that_o time_n upon_o which_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n it_o may_v be_v no_o hindrance_n to_o his_o appearance_n among_o we_o for_o my_o spirit_n be_v oppress_v with_o fear_n of_o god_n not_o appear_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o we_o which_o fear_n be_v at_o the_o present_a heighten_v from_o the_o mighty_a rage_n of_o satan_n in_o the_o spirit_n of_o many_o yea_o of_o some_o good_a man_n at_o this_o our_o first_o entrance_n into_o communion_n lay_v many_o harsh_a censure_n upon_o we_o which_o still_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o more_o narrow_a search_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n thus_o see_v the_o rage_n of_o some_o against_o we_o to_o be_v very_o great_a and_o tremble_v in_o myself_o to_o think_v lest_o we_o by_o our_o miscarriage_n may_v give_v they_o some_o ground_n to_o speak_v evil_a of_o we_o it_o wrought_v a_o great_a sadness_n upon_o my_o spirit_n fear_v lest_o we_o may_v be_v a_o occasion_n of_o darken_n his_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n which_o cause_v i_o often_o to_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o the_o lord_n beseech_v he_o that_o if_o he_o have_v any_o delight_n in_o we_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o afford_v we_o his_o presence_n but_o in_o the_o very_a depth_n of_o these_o fear_n do_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o mere_a providence_n as_o i_o be_v open_v mr._n burroughs_n book_n cast_v my_o eye_n unexpected_o upon_o the_o 13_o p._n of_o the_o right_a manner_n of_o draw_v nigh_o to_o god_n in_o worship_n where_o i_o find_v this_o note_n that_o the_o beginning_n of_o thing_n of_o high_a concernment_n do_v meet_v sometime_o with_o great_a difficulty_n and_o interruption_n which_o he_o give_v some_o instance_n of_o and_o so_o advise_v we_o not_o to_o be_v offend_v though_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o sad_a accident_n to_o fall_v out_o at_o the_o begin_n of_o great_a thing_n for_o say_v he_o notwithstanding_o this_o god_n may_v yet_o prosper_v it_o afterward_o the_o serious_a consideration_n whereof_o do_v at_o the_o present_a a_o little_a refresh_v my_o spirit_n and_o support_v it_o with_o a_o desire_n to_o wait_v to_o see_v what_o the_o lord_n will_v please_v to_o bring_v out_o of_o it_o thus_o have_v for_o about_o 3_o month_n space_n enjoy_v the_o ordinance_n and_o the_o society_n of_o his_o servant_n and_o thereupon_o begin_v to_o examine_v my_o own_o heart_n what_o fruit_n or_o benefit_n i_o have_v find_v by_o they_o it_o lay_v somewhat_o sad_o upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v very_o little_a then_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v by_o a_o letter_n from_o mr._n rogers_n to_o hand_n out_o something_o which_o for_o the_o present_a do_v a_o little_a support_n and_o cheer_v my_o spirit_n therein_o put_v i_o upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o this_o truth_n that_o a_o christian_a growth_n be_v not_o at_o all_o time_n sensible_a neither_o do_v the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v they_o shall_v always_o grow_v in_o one_o kind_n but_o that_o they_o grow_v in_o all_o part_n as_o well_o in_o humility_n and_o self_n abasement_n and_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n barrenness_n and_o unprofitableness_n etc._n etc._n which_o be_v as_o true_a a_o growth_n as_o that_o of_o faith_n though_o not_o always_o so_o visible_a yet_o some_o trouble_n still_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n want_v a_o full_a and_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n which_o as_o yet_o i_o have_v only_o some_o good_a hope_n of_o but_o no_o such_o settle_a assurance_n but_o that_o i_o be_v often_o totter_v backward_o and_o forward_o the_o lord_n have_v formal_o and_o continual_o through_o the_o ministry_n of_o his_o word_n dispense_v often_o by_o mr._n knight_n and_o very_o powerful_o to_o that_o end_n and_o sometime_o also_o by_o mr._n simpson_n by_o both_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v strong_o to_o convince_v i_o of_o the_o dishonour_n that_o i_o have_v bring_v he_o by_o my_o unbeleef_n which_o be_v now_o the_o great_a burden_n of_o my_o soul_n but_o find_v much_o weakness_n of_o faith_n in_o i_o and_o a_o inability_n to_o roll_n so_o full_o upon_o god_n and_o give_v glory_n to_o he_o by_o believe_v and_o take_v he_o upon_o his_o word_n etc._n etc._n often_o fear_v that_o sin_n and_o satan_n will_v yet_o prevail_v over_o i_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v about_o the_o 10_o month_n 1652._o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n exceed_o to_o beg_v of_o he_o a_o large_a measure_n of_o faith_n even_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o honour_v he_o as_o much_o by_o believe_v as_o ever_o i_o have_v dishonour_v he_o through_o unbeleef_n but_o this_o same_o month_n i_o have_v this_o wicked_a thought_n or_o temptation_n throw_v with_o mighty_a force_n
to_o which_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o go_v which_o according_o i_o do_v though_o with_o some_o outward_a inconvenience_n and_o bodily_a danger_n desire_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n to_o shine_v in_o upon_o my_o heart_n this_o week_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o make_v this_o bless_a opportunity_n let_v my_o soul_n have_v a_o sight_n of_o himself_o through_o that_o word_n that_o shall_v be_v hold_v out_o to_o i_o thus_o wait_v and_o depend_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n through_o this_o instrument_n of_o he_o i_o go_v to_o london_n at_o which_o time_n mr._n simpson_n contrary_a to_o the_o expectation_n of_o most_o of_o his_o hearer_n and_o as_o i_o be_v tell_v to_o his_o own_o intention_n the_o week_n before_o have_v his_o eye_n and_o meditation_n turn_v and_o fix_v upon_o that_o grand_a promise_n in_o gen._n 3._o 15._o which_o i_o do_v not_o know_v but_o that_o i_o may_v look_v upon_o as_o a_o special_a providence_n in_o which_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v even_o at_o the_o establishment_n of_o my_o poor_a and_o unsettle_a spirit_n which_o but_o the_o week_n before_o be_v exceed_o cast_v down_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o i_o conceive_v much_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n even_o of_o his_o own_o appearance_n in_o the_o entrance_n upon_o which_o scripture_n and_o open_n of_o it_o he_o show_v we_o that_o these_o word_n in_o gen._n 3._o be_v speak_v and_o denounce_v as_o a_o severe_a threaten_n to_o the_o devil_n and_o not_o at_o all_o speak_v either_o to_o the_o man_n or_o to_o the_o woman_n yet_o do_v they_o contain_v in_o they_o a_o most_o bless_a promise_n yea_o all_o the_o promise_n which_o the_o lord_n leave_v both_o for_o adam_n and_o eve_n to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o provoke_v we_o to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o all_o the_o hint_n of_o god_n and_o to_o let_v none_o of_o they_o slip_v in_o any_o dispensation_n of_o he_o to_o we_o yea_o to_o take_v notice_n of_o every_o word_n of_o promise_n or_o comfort_n that_o god_n hold_v out_o though_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o severe_a threaten_n as_o this_o here_o be_v in_o the_o further_a prosecution_n of_o which_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o that_o soul_n which_o be_v indeed_o make_v to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o jesus_n christ_n will_v be_v ready_a to_o snatch_v &_o catch_v at_o the_o least_o crumb_n of_o mercy_n yea_o be_v the_o soul_n indeed_o find_v of_o christ_n it_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o believe_v upon_o very_o small_a ground_n there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o time_n that_o scripture_n cite_v by_o he_o which_o we_o find_v record_v in_o esai_n 50._o at_o the_o beginning_n where_o the_o lord_n as_o he_o show_v we_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o angry_a with_o that_o people_n who_o though_o they_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n and_o therefore_o deserve_v just_o to_o be_v put_v away_o yet_o be_v the_o lord_n wrath_n with_o they_o because_o they_o say_v he_o have_v put_v they_o away_o when_o as_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o and_o therefore_o demand_v of_o they_o where_o their_o bill_n of_o divorce_n be_v which_o together_o with_o several_a other_o precious_a truth_n then_o hint_v to_o we_o take_v very_o much_o on_o my_o heart_n and_o great_o refresh_v it_o even_o upon_o after_o review_v also_o but_o to_o all_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o add_v one_o bless_a opportunity_n more_o that_o week_n wherein_o he_o speak_v abundant_o and_o i_o hope_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n by_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n knight_n at_o that_o lecture_n at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n the_o very_a next_o morning_n be_v the_o four_o day_n of_o the_o week_n send_v his_o servant_n as_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o particular_a and_o to_o open_v unfold_v and_o expound_v all_o those_o gracious_a visit_n of_o christ_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n when_o it_o sit_v even_o in_o the_o valley_n and_o shadow_n of_o death_n shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o a_o estate_n of_o nature_n show_v i_o how_o the_o lord_n even_o then_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n to_o i_o as_o also_o when_o i_o be_v under_o dark_a affliction_n and_o sad_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n from_o whence_o i_o conceive_v they_o to_o proceed_v in_o which_o estate_n also_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v sweet_o to_o visit_v my_o soul_n as_o also_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o darkness_n of_o unbeleese_n be_v full_a of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n at_o this_o season_n and_o from_o this_o scripture_n luk._n 1._o 78_o 79_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unfold_v my_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o never_o have_v such_o a_o sight_n of_o how_o he_o have_v indeed_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o these_o estate_n as_o also_o what_o the_o issue_n of_o these_o his_o visitation_n be_v how_o he_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n in_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o lord_n now_o be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o see_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o swallow_v up_o in_o the_o apprehension_n of_o it_o not_o know_v how_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v his_o name_n sufficient_o for_o these_o his_o appearance_n thus_o do_v the_o lord_n follow_v on_o with_o one_o mercy_n and_o discovery_n upon_o the_o neck_n of_o another_o which_o all_o depend_v upon_o and_o as_o it_o be_v open_v one_o another_o for_o this_o last_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n discover_v in_o particular_a to_o my_o soul_n what_o those_o hint_n and_o gracious_a visitation_n on_o my_o soul_n wherein_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o day_n before_o he_o teach_v i_o i_o be_v to_o take_v such_o special_a notice_n of_o in_o the_o remain_a part_n part_n also_o of_o the_o week_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o go_v on_o to_o settle_v and_o far_o open_v these_o truth_n and_o give_v i_o to_o see_v his_o mighty_a hand_n and_o outstretch_a arm_n all_o along_o in_o it_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n be_v the_o nine_o of_o this_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v also_o to_o come_v in_o through_o that_o ministry_n he_o have_v place_v we_o under_o at_o fulham_n with_o a_o seasonable_a word_n to_o back_o all_o this_o which_o be_v speak_v by_o our_o pastor_n mr._n knight_n from_o heb._n 2._o 2._o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n they_o be_v steadfast_a word_n abide_v word_n word_n that_o shall_v certain_o abide_v and_o be_v accomplish_v in_o their_o season_n thus_o in_o these_o eight_o day_n now_o last_v past_a have_v the_o lord_n through_z and_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n be_v please_v to_o give_v into_o my_o soul_n a_o discovery_n of_o his_o gracious_a visitation_n of_o i_o for_o 〈◊〉_d many_o year_n past_a and_o true_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n if_o i_o shall_v not_o acknowledge_v he_o a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n who_o be_v please_v even_o at_o this_o time_n in_o my_o apprehension_n so_o eminent_o to_o appear_v that_o i_o be_v constrain_v in_o spirit_n to_o acknowledge_v it_o and_o do_v and_o do_v desire_v that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o lord_n have_v of_o late_a thus_o begin_v to_o manifest_v his_o love_a kindness_n to_o my_o soul_n there_o be_v at_o this_o time_n from_o rom._n 13._o 11._o this_o truth_n set_v home_o mighty_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o this_o time_n of_o god_n appearance_n in_o way_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n etc._n etc._n be_v the_o only_a bless_a time_n in_o the_o world_n to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o thus_o appear_v and_o a_o time_n which_o shall_v of_o all_o time_n in_o the_o world_n be_v take_v special_a notice_n of_o and_o careful_o improve_v from_o whence_o i_o have_v further_o many_o seasonable_a instruction_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v walk_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n countenance_n while_o i_o enjoy_v it_o yea_o and_o work_v in_o it_o while_o i_o have_v it_o before_o or_o lest_o darkness_n come_v joh._n 12._o 35_o 36._o &_o joh._n 9_o 4._o yea_o to_o do_v good_a in_o this_o time_n and_o opportunity_n while_o god_n thus_o shine_v upon_o the_o heart_n gal._n 6._o 10._o yea_o and_o to_o improve_v it_o to_o this_o end_n to_o lay_v up_o in_o store_n a_o good_a foundation_n for_o time_n to_o come_v even_o as_o man_n do_v in_o their_o trade_n in_o the_o matter_n of_o this_o world_n 1_o tim._n 6._o 17_o 18_o 19_o yea_o to_o redeem_v this_o time_n ephes_n 5._o 16._o to_o think_v nothing_o too_o much_o to_o buy_v it_o out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o huckster_n out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o all_o other_o business_n what_o ever_o in_o this_o world_n and_o
&_o 66._o 16._o 1_o tim._n 1._o 13_o 14_o 15_o 16._o act._n 22._o there_o be_v also_o sudden_o after_o this_o present_v to_o i_o as_o one_o thing_n that_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v at_o in_o this_o touch_n of_o he_o even_o to_o mind_n i_o that_o i_o have_v not_o that_o degree_n of_o compassion_n or_o fellow_n feel_v as_o i_o ought_v of_o that_o affliction_n which_o in_o some_o respect_n in_o the_o same_o kind_n though_o in_o a_o great_a degree_n lie_v upon_o our_o sister_n arnat_a by_o reason_n of_o a_o great_a fever_n and_o doubtless_o there_o may_v be_v something_o in_o this_o though_o i_o shall_v also_o wrong_v myself_o shall_v i_o not_o acknowledge_v much_o and_o continue_a work_v in_o my_o heart_n for_o and_o towards_o she_o which_o oft_o occasion_v i_o to_o spread_v her_o condition_n before_o the_o lord_n according_a to_o my_o poor_a measure_n but_o upon_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o 11_o month_n in_o the_o night_n i_o have_v little_a or_o no_o rest_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a distemper_n which_o lie_v upon_o i_o and_o real_o i_o do_v not_o well_o know_v whether_o the_o distemper_n of_o my_o body_n or_o my_o mind_n be_v the_o great_a but_o both_o meeting_n it_o lay_v somewhat_o heavy_a upon_o the_o flesh_n which_o think_v itself_o ready_a to_o give_v up_o under_o it_o but_o my_o thought_n be_v continual_o work_v i_o find_v in_o my_o spirit_n a_o great_a natural_a reluctancy_n against_o death_n which_o seem_v at_o time_n as_o it_o be_v to_o approach_v often_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a in_o natural_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v continue_v until_o morning_n yet_o say_v i_o nothing_o for_o fear_v of_o affright_v my_o mother_n yet_o have_v i_o also_o between_o time_n a_o great_a desire_n together_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o persuasion_n that_o for_o all_o this_o i_o shall_v be_v enable_v to_o hear_v mr._n knight_n next_o morning_n who_o turn_n it_o be_v to_o preach_v at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n thus_o i_o say_v find_v in_o my_o spirit_n some_o kind_n of_o reluctancy_n at_o death_n of_o which_o consider_v a_o little_a it_o be_v that_o corruption_n which_o i_o think_v have_v now_o be_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n crucify_v but_o find_v it_o still_o to_o work_v up_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o which_o together_o with_o many_o other_o fear_n that_o lay_v upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o sanctify_v the_o name_n of_o god_n or_o honour_v he_o under_o this_o affliction_n which_o be_v indeed_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o trouble_n at_o the_o approach_n of_o death_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n in_o any_o measure_n that_o only_o which_o i_o resolve_v in_o myself_o to_o declare_v to_o some_o friend_n i_o shall_v meet_v at_o fulham_n next_o day_n if_o the_o lord_n shall_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o go_v and_o so_o beg_v their_o remembrance_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n but_o be_v enable_v to_o consider_v better_o of_o it_o i_o be_v give_v to_o see_v that_o it_o be_v nothing_o but_o a_o mere_a temptation_n to_o distrust_v the_o power_n and_o love_n of_o god_n to_o think_v as_o if_o he_o shall_v now_o bring_v i_o into_o that_o condition_n that_o he_o will_v not_o carry_v i_o through_o whereupon_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o gather_v up_o my_o spirit_n a_o little_a and_o in_o some_o better_a measure_n to_o submit_v to_o the_o hand_n and_o will_n of_o my_o father_n which_o i_o be_v now_o assure_v shall_v certain_o end_v in_o his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a and_o to_o this_o end_n i_o be_v now_o also_o enable_v again_o to_o call_v over_o that_o bless_a promise_n in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v yea_o work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o promise_n i_o have_v often_o find_v by_o experience_n have_v be_v make_v good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v therefore_o much_o trouble_v that_o any_o distrustful_a thought_n shall_v arise_v in_o i_o concern_v it_o divers_z other_o promise_n also_o before_o mention_v be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o wrought_v afresh_o upon_o my_o heart_n which_o do_v exceed_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n so_o that_o the_o first_o refreshment_n which_o i_o find_v be_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o after_o that_o be_v a_o little_a quiet_v i_o have_v a_o little_a short_a slumber_n and_o do_v the_o lord_n so_o far_o mitigate_v my_o bodily_a distemper_n as_o that_o it_o do_v not_o hinder_v i_o from_o that_o bless_a opportunity_n next_o day_n though_o accompany_v with_o much_o bodily_a weakness_n but_o upon_o the_o 2_o day_n of_o the_o 12_o month_n 1652._o i_o find_v my_o distemper_n of_o body_n much_o abate_v in_o so_o much_o as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v now_o quite_o go_v but_o that_o very_a night_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o return_v yea_o to_o heighten_v it_o constrain_a i_o to_o keep_v house_n certain_a day_n whereby_o i_o perceive_v that_o this_o work_n upon_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o accomplish_v nor_o i_o full_o acquaint_v with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o which_o be_v some_o trouble_n to_o i_o whereupon_o i_o again_o beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o acquaint_v i_o with_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n in_o it_o and_o to_o sanctify_v it_o unto_o i_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o submit_v to_o whatsoever_o he_o have_v yet_o further_o to_o lay_v upon_o i_o in_o which_o i_o also_o seek_v the_o prayer_n of_o his_o people_n upon_o the_o 6_o of_o this_o month_n but_o upon_o the_o seven_o day_n of_o this_o month_n providence_n offer_v some_o occasion_n whereby_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o the_o thought_n of_o part_v with_o my_o aunt_n dogget_n who_o be_v upon_o remove_n into_o the_o country_n with_o many_o thought_n there_o about_o which_o be_v now_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n which_o occasion_v such_o a_o heavyness_n to_o possess_v my_o spirit_n upon_o other_o account_n also_o which_o come_v in_o to_o add_v to_o the_o other_o in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o it_o until_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o vent_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n at_o which_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o this_o be_v mere_o to_o return_v as_o it_o be_v from_o the_o lord_n to_o the_o creature_n for_o comfort_n and_o support_v as_o if_o he_o be_v not_o able_a abundant_o to_o make_v up_o in_o himself_o the_o want_n of_o such_o a_o comfort_n and_o relation_n if_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o deprive_v i_o of_o it_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o grieve_v i_o then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o show_v i_o how_o i_o have_v continual_o provoke_v he_o in_o this_o kind_n by_o lean_v upon_o such_o poor_a reed_n and_o dige_v to_o myself_o such_o poor_a pit_n such_o break_a cistern_n as_o can_v indeed_o hold_v no_o water_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n too_o much_o neglect_v he_o the_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n jer._n 2._o 13._o yea_o while_o i_o be_v thus_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o lament_v my_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a folly_n he_o be_v please_v also_o to_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o that_o part_n of_o scripture_n i_o find_v record_v in_o 1_o king_n 11._o 9_o how_o the_o lord_n be_v angry_a with_o solomon_n because_o his_o heart_n be_v turn_v from_o the_o lord_n god_n of_o israel_n which_o have_v appear_v to_o he_o twice_o even_o so_o i_o see_v the_o lord_n have_v just_a cause_n to_o be_v angry_a with_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v thus_o again_o return_v to_o the_o creature_n and_o as_o it_o be_v make_v a_o god_n of_o it_o yea_o after_o such_o eminent_a appearance_n of_o his_o to_o my_o soul_n the_o same_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o severe_a threaten_n against_o moab_n who_o have_v be_v at_o ease_n from_o his_o youth_n and_o be_v settle_v on_o his_o lees_n who_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n neither_o have_v go_v into_o captivity_n and_o therefore_o his_o taste_n remain_v in_o he_o and_o his_o scent_n be_v not_o change_v jer._n 48._o 11_o now_o find_v this_o give_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n as_o the_o reason_n why_o his_o scent_n remain_v even_o because_o he_o have_v not_o be_v empty_v etc._n etc._n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v and_o wonder_n what_o reason_n can_v be_v give_v of_o the_o corruption_n in_o my_o heart_n who_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o leave_v at_o ease_n but_o have_v often_o empty_v from_o vessel_n to_o vessel_n as_o it_o be_v try_v always_o and_o mean_v with_o i_o and_o yet_o that_o i_o shall_v still_o savour_v so_o much_o of_o the_o earth_n and_o of_o the_o old_a man_n and_o shall_v still_o so_o incline_v to_o depend_v upon_o a_o arm_n of_o flesh_n 2_o chron._n 32._o
for_o the_o salvation_n of_o man_n all_o these_o perfection_n be_v purposely_o in_o he_o for_o the_o good_a of_o his_o church_n he_o prove_v it_o from_o heb._n 7._o 22._o where_o he_o be_v call_v the_o surety_n of_o a_o better_a testament_n christ_n love_n be_v set_v out_o by_o a_o suretyship_n now_o a_o surety_n as_o a_o surety_n be_v whole_o for_o the_o good_a of_o they_o who_o he_o be_v thus_o a_o surety_n for_o if_o a_o man_n as_o a_o surety_n shall_v become_v bind_v to_o a_o other_o when_o he_o seal_v the_o bond_n he_o do_v it_o as_o a_o surety_n when_o he_o be_v arrest_v for_o the_o debt_n it_o be_v as_o he_o be_v a_o surety_n when_o he_o pay_v the_o debt_n when_o he_o cancel_v the_o bond_n he_o do_v it_o as_o a_o surety_n all_o he_o do_v from_o the_o begin_n to_o the_o end_n be_v only_o his_o voluntary_a act_n undertake_v to_o be_v a_o pawn_n and_o pledge_v thus_o do_v jesus_n christ_n god_n the_o father_n he_o enter_v into_o a_o covenant_n with_o lose_a man_n undertake_v to_o be_v the_o god_n of_o sinful_a man_n and_o man_n covenant_n to_o be_v his_o people_n he_o covenant_v to_o give_v they_o this_o benefit_n and_o they_o to_o yield_v he_o this_o obedience_n now_o jesus_n christ_n he_o come_v and_o undertake_v to_o be_v a_o surety_n for_o both_o he_o undertake_v to_o god_n on_o man_n part_n all_o that_o man_n owe_v shall_v be_v pay_v every_o jot_n of_o duty_n to_o be_v perform_v shall_v be_v perform_v and_o on_o god_n part_n he_o undertake_v all_o the_o good_a that_o god_n have_v promise_v shall_v be_v make_v good_a to_o they_o upon_o their_o believe_a thus_o he_o be_v a_o surety_n the_o like_a expression_n you_o have_v joh._n 7._o 21._o when_o christ_n pray_v to_o the_o father_n for_o they_o who_o he_o undertake_v first_o to_o bring_v they_o home_o then_o to_o keep_v they_o in_o this_o world_n then_o that_o they_o may_v partake_v of_o his_o glory_n with_o the_o father_n for_o their_o sake_n i_o sanctify_v myself_o now_o to_o be_v sanctify_v signify_v ordinary_o to_o be_v make_v clean_o from_o corruption_n and_o endue_v with_o grace_n and_o holiness_n but_o sanctification_n in_o this_o place_n proper_o be_v nothing_o else_o but_o separation_n to_o god_n therefore_o say_v christ_n i_o do_v separate_v myself_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o god_n and_o all_o the_o work_n that_o christ_n undertake_v he_o express_v in_o that_o word_n he_o separate_v himself_o for_o their_o sake_n so_o that_o if_o you_o do_v ask_v why_o be_v the_o son_n of_o god_n make_v man_n why_o he_o live_v why_o he_o die_v why_o he_o preach_v why_o he_o pray_v all_o be_v for_o their_o sake_n that_o be_v for_o their_o sake_n who_o he_o there_o pray_v for_o and_o then_o in_o 1_o cor._n 1._o last_o jesus_n christ_n be_v say_v to_o be_v make_v unto_o we_o wisdom_n righteousness_n sanctification_n and_o redemption_n christ_n be_v make_v all_o this_o and_o he_o be_v make_v it_o of_o god_n and_o make_v it_o for_o we_o wisdom_n to_o we_o righteousness_n to_o we_o all_o to_o we_o nay_o there_o be_v no_o one_o thing_n speak_v of_o christ_n through_o the_o scripture_n but_o there_o be_v plain_a scripture_n that_o do_v show_v that_o it_o be_v for_o we_o when_o he_o be_v make_v flesh_n the_o scripture_n say_v it_o be_v to_o we_o a_o child_n be_v bear_v and_o a_o son_n give_v when_o he_o live_v he_o live_v for_o we_o he_o be_v say_v to_o die_v for_o our_o sin_n and_o rise_v again_o for_o justification_n he_o ascend_v for_o we_o and_o sit_v at_o god_n right_a hand_n for_o we_o for_o our_o sake_n he_o return_v to_o judgement_n oh_o how_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n refresh_v my_o poor_a spirit_n from_o these_o scripture_n think_v with_o myself_o oh_o wretched_a heart_n why_o shall_v thou_o ever_o harbour_v one_o hard_a thought_n of_o god_n or_o christ_n more_o or_o give_v way_n to_o one_o doubt_n more_o then_o in_o the_o application_n he_o come_v to_o put_v this_o lively_a question_n to_o our_o heart_n whether_o do_v any_o of_o you_o rely_v on_o christ_n for_o your_o 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the_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v for_o many_o year_n make_v my_o daily_a suit_n that_o jesus_n christ_n will_v please_v to_o give_v i_o pardon_v and_o grace_n and_o wisdom_n and_o ability_n to_o serve_v he_o if_o he_o be_v a_o friend_n yea_o and_o trusty_a and_o thus_o faithful_a will_v he_o deny_v it_o i_o if_o i_o have_v a_o right_a to_o it_o therefore_o i_o rather_o fear_v i_o be_o none_o of_o he_o 1._o answ_n say_v not_o such_o a_o word_n say_v he_o for_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o than_o thou_o do_v take_v notice_n of_o if_o jesus_n christ_n have_v tender_v satisfaction_n to_o the_o father_n justice_n and_o the_o father_n have_v accept_v of_o it_o and_o if_o he_o have_v merit_v all_o grace_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v already_o purchase_v it_o for_o thou_o and_o will_v give_v it_o out_o when_o thou_o have_v most_o need_n thou_o be_v then_o more_o happy_a by_o have_v it_o in_o his_o hand_n then_o if_o it_o be_v in_o thy_o own_o keep_n even_o as_o if_o 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look_v upon_o ourselves_o to_o be_v as_o somebody_o whereas_o if_o we_o can_v be_v but_o content_v to_o let_v christ_n have_v the_o honour_n of_o all_o and_o we_o think_v it_o enough_o to_o be_v but_o partaker_n of_o it_o by_o faith_n we_o shall_v have_v much_o more_o commit_v to_o our_o hand_n then_o we_o have_v already_o oh_o how_o full_o do_v these_o two_o answer_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o heart_n 3._o there_o be_v no_o better_a argument_n of_o a_o heart_n fill_v with_o grace_n then_o to_o be_v mourning_n for_o the_o
may_v have_v cause_n to_o praise_v he_o even_o to_o all_o eternity_n for_o this_o unspeakable_a mercy_n this_o latter_a be_v write_v in_o the_o behalf_n of_o one_o in_o near_a relation_n afterward_o it_o be_v exceed_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n not_o to_o do_v it_o only_o in_o his_o behalf_n but_o also_o in_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o poor_a dark_a soul_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o may_v the_o 4._o oh_o my_o soul_n must_v thou_o not_o needs_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n a_o god_n hear_v the_o very_a groan_n of_o thy_o soul_n before_o they_o be_v effectual_o put_v up_o put_v in_o at_o the_o very_a time_n a_o seasonable_a word_n into_o the_o mouth_n of_o his_o servant_n suit_v to_o thy_o trouble_n and_o fear_n support_v thy_o spirit_n under_o they_o abundant_o and_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n that_o same_o day_n may_v 4._o by_o a_o letter_n that_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v home_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n give_v my_o soul_n great_a hope_n of_o a_o begin_v work_n upon_o that_o poor_a soul_n which_o come_v as_o it_o be_v as_o a_o fresh_a return_n of_o prayer_n this_o very_a person_n be_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o these_o desire_n that_o be_v then_o put_v up_o may_v 21._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v one_o evening_n very_o much_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v his_o appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o every_o ordinance_n in_o a_o more_o full_a and_o lively_a manner_n then_o former_o and_o next_o day_n be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o much_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o morning_n to_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n and_o so_o also_o in_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n the_o four_o of_o the_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dead_a and_o dull_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o in_o this_o request_n to_o he_o beg_v a_o special_a presence_n of_o his_o the_o next_o day_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v and_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n beg_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v through_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o administer_v in_o his_o name_n that_o there_o may_v be_v such_o a_o lively_a presence_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o as_o may_v be_v a_o token_n of_o good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v the_o next_o day_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n to_o appear_v not_o only_o suit_v his_o appearance_n to_o that_o dead_a dull_a frame_n my_o wretched_a heart_n be_v in_o to_o he_o but_o do_v abundant_o above_o even_o my_o expectation_n in_o some_o sense_n ride_v triumphant_o and_o glorious_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n the_o 13_o of_o this_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o plead_v with_o he_o to_o discover_v to_o i_o what_o the_o desire_n the_o hungring_n and_o the_o thirsting_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v indeed_o after_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o as_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n it_o be_v not_o after_o the_o world_n the_o profit_n pleasure_n or_o any_o thing_n in_o it_o beseech_v he_o to_o search_v and_o try_v i_o and_o if_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o this_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o to_o be_v so_o far_o from_o satisfy_v any_o thirst_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o any_o thing_n beside_o himself_o as_o to_o blast_v it_o and_o to_o make_v i_o sensible_a of_o it_o and_o humble_a before_o he_o for_o it_o but_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o that_o hunger_n and_o thirst_v after_o righteousness_n they_o shall_v be_v satisfy_v and_o fill_v and_o true_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o be_v it_o my_o soul_n wait_v for_o and_o bray_v after_o to_o be_v make_v more_o like_o he_o more_o conformable_a to_o he_o to_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o a_o child_n put_v upon_o i_o whereby_o i_o may_v be_v more_o like_a unto_o he_o and_o more_o dedicate_v and_o give_v up_o in_o all_o my_o way_n to_o he_o but_o that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o i_o but_o that_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o it_o i_o do_v then_o beg_v above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v discover_v it_o unto_o i_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o four_o month_n my_o spirit_n wasdraw_v out_o to_o beg_v the_o lord_n appearance_n the_o next_o day_n and_o suit_v my_o heart_n to_o it_o which_o i_o find_v in_o a_o very_a dead_a &_o dull_a frame_n beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o appearance_n may_v not_o answer_v that_o wretched_a frame_n my_o heart_n be_v then_o in_o but_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v put_v in_o frame_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o as_o also_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o provide_v a_o portion_n for_o every_o poor_a soul_n that_o desire_v to_o see_v his_o face_n and_o to_o seek_v his_o presence_n that_o they_o may_v find_v some_o word_n suitable_a to_o their_o condition_n and_o how_o rich_o and_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v each_o of_o those_o desire_n both_o in_o behalf_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v and_o ride_v triumphant_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n this_o day_n in_o the_o morning_n present_v very_o glorious_a useful_a truth_n seasonable_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o practice_v and_o make_v use_n of_o enable_v i_o to_o improve_v the_o promise_n to_o this_o great_a work_n of_o clean_v from_o corruption_n yea_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o further_a way_n to_o answer_v my_o desire_n for_o other_o put_v in_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n of_o he_o to_o my_o cousin_n jefferson_n concern_v freewill_n who_o be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o former_a request_n show_v how_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v in_o respect_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n and_o nothingness_n for_o have_v the_o creature_n any_o power_n god_n need_v not_o promise_v to_o do_v all_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o appear_v this_o morning_n there_o arise_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o question_n at_o noon_n whether_o i_o shall_v not_o public_o by_o mr._n knight_n offer_v up_o praise_n to_o the_o lord_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o he_o but_o through_o many_o fear_n that_o arise_v upon_o my_o spirit_n lest_o it_o may_v be_v misconstrue_v as_o if_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o appear_v to_o be_v somebody_o with_o the_o like_a temptation_n be_v keep_v off_o yet_o notwithstanding_o some_o trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n for_o i_o be_v great_o desirous_a to_o have_v bless_v the_o lord_n public_o for_o it_o yet_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o this_o secret_a desire_n of_o i_o for_o mr._n knight_n himself_o upon_o his_o own_o account_n do_v large_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o day_n and_o so_o throughout_o with_o which_o my_o heart_n do_v real_o close_a and_o so_o do_v our_o sister_n arnal_a as_o she_o say_v afterward_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o great_o rejoice_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v out_o his_o heart_n in_o that_o wherein_o her_o heart_n and_o mind_n also_o do_v so_o abundant_o join_v our_o brethren_n have_v make_v some_o entrance_n into_o the_o private_a conference_n and_o somewhat_o of_o god_n appear_v from_o several_a of_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o draw_v out_o to_o propound_v some_o question_n to_o they_o have_v two_o or_o three_o thing_n upon_o my_o spirit_n wherein_o i_o be_v much_o unsatisfied_a and_o have_v resolve_v upon_o the_o thing_n in_o general_n there_o arise_v a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o spirit_n which_o question_n to_o propound_v first_o for_o they_o all_o leave_v much_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o among_o other_o i_o have_v a_o very_a strong_a desire_n to_o propound_v this_o what_o mean_n may_v be_v best_o available_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o pride_n and_o strong_a debate_n have_v i_o in_o my_o spirit_n before_o i_o can_v pass_v this_o over_o yet_o at_o the_o last_o my_o spirit_n be_v overcome_v to_o propound_v another_o which_o prove_v very_o suitable_a to_o many_o other_o spirit_n in_o which_o i_o see_v some_o hand_n of_o god_n yet_o do_v my_o heart_n earnest_o long_o after_o some_o resolution_n concern_v that_o of_o pride_n but_o how_o gloriou_o do_v the_o lord_n a_o while_n after_o the_o 26_o of_o this_o four_o month_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o it_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o way_n like_o to_o the_o take_n of_o the_o advantage_n of_o the_o ordinance_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v about_o the_o end_n of_o this_o four_o
may_v prove_v the_o real_a advantage_n of_o spiritual_a good_a to_o my_o soul_n yet_o fear_v whether_o it_o do_v indeed_o come_v from_o he_o or_o no_o cause_v some_o tremble_n upon_o my_o spirit_n how_o to_o act_v if_o it_o be_v a_o plot_n of_o he_o it_o be_v a_o fair_a one_o arise_v after_o this_o manner_n have_v often_o find_v great_a appearance_n of_o god_n as_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o his_o praise_n i_o have_v in_o other_o of_o his_o ordinance_n but_o find_v my_o heart_n oftentimes_o very_o much_o shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v and_o give_v over_o to_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o heaviness_n of_o spirit_n which_o be_v no_o way_n suitable_a to_o a_o spiritual_a heart_n and_o soul-quickning_a ordinance_n and_o find_v this_o very_a much_o to_o prevail_v even_o at_o this_o present_a desire_v your_o prayer_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v by_o discover_v to_o my_o soul_n whether_o indeed_o it_o do_v arise_v from_o a_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n yea_o or_o no_o or_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o lively_a alarm_n from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n thus_o tremble_v in_o myself_o whether_o my_o forbearance_n may_v not_o be_v find_v a_o yield_n to_o satan_n or_o whether_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o may_v not_o attempt_v and_o provoke_v the_o lord_n by_o rush_v unprepared_o upon_o his_o holy_a thing_n thus_o desire_v to_o give_v up_o myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o lord_n wait_v for_o the_o breathe_n of_o his_o spirit_n through_o the_o help_n of_o your_o prayer_n i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n alone_o to_o guide_v and_o lead_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o its_o motion_n and_o action_n in_o this_o present_a world_n until_o he_o shall_v bring_v it_o to_o a_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o perfection_n of_o holiness_n which_o my_o soul_n wait_v and_o long_v for_o where_o i_o shall_v full_o enjoy_v what_o now_o my_o poor_a soul_n have_v but_o a_o transient_a taste_n of_o which_o the_o lord_n accomplish_v in_o his_o own_o time_n and_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o wait_v my_o appoint_a time_n until_o my_o change_n come_v that_o when_o ever_o my_o lord_n come_v i_o may_v be_v find_v watch_v the_o 10_o of_o this_o 8_o month_n oh_o my_o soul_n do_v not_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o gracious_a answer_n and_o return_v to_o this_o desire_n and_o prayer_n foremention_v even_o while_o thou_o be_v pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n wherein_o thou_o do_v lament_v the_o corruption_n of_o thy_o heart_n beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v subdue_v this_o wicked_a frame_n of_o spirit_n this_o deadness_n and_o dulness_n in_o his_o service_n and_o continue_v issue_v out_o of_o corruption_n plead_v and_o argue_v it_o out_o with_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o manner_n that_o though_o thou_o be_v unworthy_a altogether_o to_o beg_v any_o mercy_n from_o he_o or_o this_o mercy_n yet_o be_v there_o not_o other_o of_o his_o poor_a servant_n that_o be_v plead_v with_o he_o for_o my_o poor_a soul_n nay_o be_v not_o my_o lord_n jesus_n now_o at_o his_o right_a hand_n plead_v for_o i_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v pull_v out_o of_o his_o hand_n for_o how_o can_v the_o lord_n endure_v wickedness_n any_o lust_n or_o corruption_n to_o possess_v my_o heart_n and_o take_v the_o sceptre_n out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o so_o to_o rule_v and_o reign_v over_o i_o nay_o can_v my_o soul_n bear_v it_o to_o be_v thus_o overpowred_n and_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n thus_o draw_v from_o christ_n and_o thus_o captivate_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n when_o one_o word_n of_o his_o mouth_n can_v set_v my_o soul_n at_o liberty_n beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o search_v i_o and_o to_o try_v i_o for_o he_o know_v whether_o those_o desire_n and_o tear_n and_o groan_n come_v from_o my_o heart_n yea_o or_o no_o yea_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v search_v i_o and_o know_v my_o heart_n but_o lord_n discover_v also_o to_o i_o and_o if_o there_o be_v any_o hypocrisy_n in_o my_o spirit_n in_o this_o regard_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v answer_v i_o so_o by_o fire_n to_o consume_v that_o dross_n and_o corruption_n in_o my_o soul_n yea_o whatsoever_o thyrighteous_a eyesee_v in_o i_o that_o be_v darken_v to_o thy_o glory_n and_o withal_o tell_v the_o lord_n how_o like_o a_o flood_n of_o mighty_a water_n this_o corruption_n come_v in_o upon_o i_o one_o wave_z following_z another_z that_o i_o have_v no_o power_n to_o withstand_v it_o though_o he_o have_v discover_v much_o of_o himself_o to_o my_o sonl_n and_o of_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o emptiness_n of_o all_o other_o thing_n that_o yet_o my_o soul_n shall_v so_o run_v after_o vanity_n beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o give_v a_o real_a turn_n to_o all_o the_o affection_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o fix_v they_o upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n where_o they_o shall_v be_v sure_a to_o be_v return_v this_o be_v in_o the_o morning_n of_o the_o 10._o day_n than_o do_v the_o lord_n further_o satisfy_v and_o quiet_v my_o heart_n in_o my_o evening_n sacrifice_n that_o same_o day_n his_o spirit_n breathe_v in_o my_o soul_n after_o this_o manner_n dear_a lord_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v suppress_v this_o spirit_n of_o murmur_a under_o thy_o hand_n and_o if_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o poor_a creature_n still_o to_o wrestle_v and_o strive_v under_o a_o body_n of_o death_n and_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n and_o snare_n and_o entanglement_n oh_o that_o thou_o will_v help_v i_o in_o this_o work_n that_o i_o may_v not_o yield_v under_o it_o but_o may_v hold_v out_o in_o a_o continual_a resistance_n and_o sigh_v and_o never_o give_v over_o or_o make_v any_o peace_n with_o sin_n and_o though_o thou_o do_v not_o see_v meet_a utter_o to_o root_v out_o sin_n yet_o oh_o lord_n give_v it_o its_o deadly_a blow_n let_v it_o be_v still_o die_v and_o wither_v and_o decay_v and_o work_v in_o my_o soul_n grow_v and_o increase_v even_o until_o thou_o have_v full_o perfect_v it_o about_o the_o ten_o of_o this_o eight_o month_n this_o experience_n be_v give_v in_o to_o my_o soul_n by_o the_o lord_n concern_v satan_n deal_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o some_o refreshment_n to_o support_v my_o spirit_n under_o it_o oh_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o satan_n deal_v with_o thou_o concern_v this_o great_a ordinance_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n even_o as_o he_o have_v former_o do_v concern_v the_o great_a duty_n of_o prayer_n how_o often_o have_v he_o suggest_v to_o thou_o that_o it_o be_v to_o no_o end_n to_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n reason_v thus_o with_o thou_o oftentimes_o do_v thou_o think_v there_o be_v any_o such_o god_n as_o thou_o pray_v to_o do_v he_o ever_o hear_v thou_o or_o give_v thou_o any_o token_n of_o answer_n why_o then_o do_v thou_o continual_o appeal_v to_o he_o and_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n before_o he_o and_o have_v he_o not_o do_v just_o thus_o about_o this_o ordinance_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n thou_o wicked_a spirit_n how_o often_o have_v thou_o be_v prove_v a_o liar_n what_o eminent_a token_n have_v god_n give_v i_o of_o his_o hear_n prayer_n from_o time_n to_o time_n both_o concern_v myself_o and_o other_o and_o therein_o have_v prove_v thou_o a_o liar_n and_o why_o then_o oh_o my_o soul_n shall_v thou_o not_o believe_v that_o satan_n will_v also_o prove_v a_o liar_n in_o this_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n yesterday_o and_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o be_v his_o arm_n shorten_v or_o his_o hand_n weaken_v that_o he_o can_v save_v and_o deliver_v and_o appear_v to_o thou_o in_o as_o glorious_a a_o manner_n as_o ever_o oh_o then_o wait_v for_o he_o and_o what_o if_o thou_o wait_v until_o thy_o dissolution_n it_o will_v be_v happiness_n more_o than_o thou_o do_v deserve_v to_o be_v find_v wait_v yet_o thou_o do_v not_o know_v how_o soon_o he_o may_v appear_v to_o thou_o about_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o eight_o month_n 1653_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o be_v thy_o continue_a fear_n be_v they_o not_o lest_o any_o thing_n shall_v withdraw_v or_o steal_v away_o thy_o heart_n from_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o thou_o daily_o beg_v of_o he_o rather_o to_o crucify_v all_o thy_o earthly_a desire_n what_o ever_o than_o any_o way_n to_o satisfy_v any_o of_o they_o a_o letter_n to_o mr._n knight_n the_o sixteenth_o of_o the_o eight_o month_n 1653._o in_o answer_n to_o the_o former_a desire_n to_o he_o the_o nine_o of_o the_o same_o month_n to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o the_o answer_n dear_a sir_n have_v former_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o sadness_n desire_v your_o remembrance_n before_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v appear_v in_o prayer_n both_o public_a and_o private_a as_o also_o many_o other_o way_n thereby_o stay_v my_o poor_a spirit_n to_o wait_v upon_o he_o
degree_n of_o it_o which_o thou_o see_v through_o mercy_n by_o other_o though_o not_o visible_o to_o they_o thus_o do_v the_o lord_n bring_v a_o good_a issue_n out_o of_o their_o own_o speech_n and_o word_n cause_v thou_o to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n expect_v the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o iniquity_n yea_o great_a difficulty_n than_o these_o have_v the_o lord_n carry_v thou_o through_o when_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n and_o thy_o own_o corruption_n have_v combine_v together_o to_o keep_v thou_o from_o duty_n of_o prayer_n meditation_n and_o examination_n and_o the_o like_a and_o yet_o the_o lord_n have_v enable_v thou_o to_o break_v through_o all_o and_o to_o pour_v out_o thy_o soul_n to_o he_o when_o thou_o be_v even_o in_o thy_o own_o apprehension_n at_o the_o pit_n brink_n and_o yet_o resolve_v to_o cry_v to_o he_o and_o not_o to_o give_v over_o cry_v and_o call_v whilst_o thou_o live_v notwithstanding_o all_o temptation_n to_o the_o contrary_a yea_o the_o more_o strong_a the_o temptation_n be_v the_o more_o speedy_o be_v thou_o fain_o to_o address_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o strength_n and_o power_n to_o assist_v thou_o in_o grapple_v with_o they_o yea_o when_o some_o time_n overcome_v as_o it_o be_v and_o beat_v down_o by_o satan_n and_o enter_v the_o very_a border_n of_o despair_n yet_o even_o thence_o from_o this_o belly_n of_o hell_n in_o which_o thou_o do_v apprehend_v thyself_o already_o enter_v do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o cry_v to_o he_o &_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yea_o when_o thou_o find_v no_o advantage_n or_o profit_n of_o all_o thy_o prayer_n and_o tear_n &_o sigh_n &_o croan_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n seem_v to_o turn_v a_o deaf_a ear_n yet_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n enable_v thou_o to_o go_v on_o and_o to_o tell_v he_o that_o all_o those_o comfort_n and_o enjoyment_n here_o below_o they_o be_v poor_a mean_a thing_n such_o as_o thou_o can_v not_o take_v for_o thy_o portion_n and_o therefore_o do_v beg_v with_o submission_n to_o his_o will_n that_o if_o he_o have_v no_o other_o for_o thou_o but_o the_o portion_n of_o this_o life_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o deny_v thou_o they_o also_o and_o never_o give_v they_o to_o be_v a_o snare_n but_o rather_o let_v thou_o end_v thy_o day_n in_o some_o desolate_a wilderness_n 3._o faithfulness_n appear_v in_o cheerful_a service_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o able_a to_o say_v before_o the_o lord_n the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n through_o his_o grace_n that_o so_o much_o faithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o thou_o in_o any_o service_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v thy_o very_a joy_n and_o rejoice_n of_o thy_o heart_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n so_o much_o unfaithfulness_n as_o thou_o can_v discern_v in_o any_o service_n this_o be_v it_o that_o make_v thou_o go_v mourn_v all_o thy_o day_n because_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a 4._o o_o my_o soul_n thy_o faithfulness_n in_o some_o measure_n appear_v in_o that_o thou_o be_v rejoice_v real_o in_o spirit_n when_o any_o opportunity_n be_v put_v into_o thy_o hand_n and_o thy_o heart_n be_v enable_v in_o any_o measure_n to_o improve_v it_o to_o the_o service_n and_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n and_o be_v thou_o not_o on_o the_o contrary_a grieve_v that_o thou_o have_v so_o many_o opportunity_n offer_v before_o thou_o but_o like_o a_o fool_n have_v not_o a_o heart_n to_o improve_v they_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o thy_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o thy_o daily_a burden_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o be_v &_o when_o through_o the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n and_o deceit_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o fool_n away_o many_o rich_a opportunity_n by_o not_o improve_n of_o they_o which_o after_o prove_v a_o sad_a burden_n and_o affliction_n to_o i_o 5._o o_o my_o soul_n do_v there_o not_o appear_v some_o degree_n of_o faithfulness_n to_o thy_o lord_n in_o that_o thy_o endeavour_n do_v come_v still_o beneath_o thy_o desire_n have_v not_o the_o lord_n real_o enable_v thou_o through_o grace_n to_o say_v with_o paul_n the_o good_a that_o i_o will_v do_v i_o do_v not_o but_o o_o that_o i_o can_v do_v it_o that_o i_o can_v serve_v the_o lord_n more_o and_o better_o but_o oh_o how_o low_o do_v i_o live_v and_o how_o poor_o do_v i_o walk_v but_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o prayer_n and_o read_v and_o hear_v and_o meditate_v and_o do_v all_o private_a and_o public_a duty_n and_o walk_v in_o all_o my_o relation_n in_o this_o world_n as_o may_v honour_v this_o my_o lord_n be_v not_o these_o the_o continual_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o heart_n before_o the_o lord_n lord_n thou_o know_v it_o for_o i_o have_v none_o i_o desire_v to_o appeal_v unto_o but_o to_o thou_o the_o searcher_n of_o my_o heart_n 6._o lord_n do_v not_o some_o faithfulness_n appear_v to_o be_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n by_o thou_o in_o that_o thou_o have_v above_o all_o thing_n make_v i_o to_o delight_v in_o that_o work_n that_o no_o eye_n see_v but_o thyself_o thou_o know_v what_o a_o fear_n have_v be_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v to_o this_o day_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o appear_v before_o other_o thou_o lord_n know_v how_o many_o year_n this_o fear_n have_v be_v as_o a_o prison_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o working_n of_o my_o heart_n &_o as_o door_n to_o my_o mouth_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o lament_v itself_o not_o so_o much_o as_o in_o one_o word_n in_o the_o hear_n of_o other_o lest_o there_o shall_v any_o pride_n or_o hypocrifie_n act_n in_o it_o yea_o to_o this_o very_a day_n how_o many_o service_n wherein_o perhaps_o thy_o lord_n may_v be_v honour_v be_v thou_o prevent_v and_o dare_v not_o to_o act_v in_o upon_o this_o very_a account_n that_o it_o can_v be_v do_v in_o private_a can_v thou_o not_o say_v before_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n that_o such_o thought_n and_o apprehension_n and_o fear_n as_o these_o lest_o other_o shall_v esteem_v thou_o better_o than_o thou_o be_v or_o thy_o own_o spirit_n be_v lift_v up_o before_o the_o lord_n or_o any_o false_a end_n bias_n thou_o in_o it_o that_o such_o thought_n i_o say_v as_o thief_n do_v often_o as_o it_o be_v tie_v up_o thy_o tongue_n sow_v up_o thy_o mouth_n in_o all_o company_n even_o while_o at_o that_o instant_n thy_o heart_n be_v even_o ready_a to_o split_v or_o break_v in_o piece_n for_o want_n of_o vent_n sometime_o apprehend_v that_o those_o discovery_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v to_o thou_o and_o the_o rich_a grace_n he_o be_v please_v to_o manifest_v in_o thou_o in_o overcome_v all_o the_o unkindness_n in_o thou_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v put_v unnder_v a_o bushel_n but_o hold_v out_o to_o other_o and_o yet_o not_o dare_v to_o do_v it_o find_v my_o wretched_a heart_n so_o prone_a to_o be_v lift_v up_o upon_o all_o such_o occasion_n and_o so_o dishonour_n god_n that_o way_n and_o so_o deceive_v other_o and_o myself_o also_o and_o through_o both_o these_o fear_v my_o soul_n often_o walk_v sad_o before_o the_o lord_n fear_v to_o offend_v he_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v it_o whether_o way_n i_o may_v most_o honour_v he_o have_v make_v trial_n of_o both_o sometime_o silent_a and_o sometime_o speak_v and_o find_v the_o wickedness_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v sad_o in_o both_o i_o know_v not_o sometime_o which_o be_v best_a the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n manifest_a and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o o_o my_o soul_n thus_o may_v it_o probable_o and_o hopeful_o appear_v to_o thou_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o in_o some_o measure_n his_o faithful_a servant_n 1._o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o hope_n that_o i_o trust_v i_o have_v no_o other_o master_n that_o i_o willing_o call_v rabbi_n or_o willing_o serve_v but_o my_o lord_n jesus_n nor_o have_v i_o any_o other_o work_n that_o i_o do_v upon_o which_o my_o heart_n be_v delightful_o set_v upon_o but_o only_o my_o lord_n work_v and_o this_o appear_v far_a to_o i_o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o hope_v in_o some_o measure_n wrought_v my_o heart_n to_o this_o frame_n of_o spirit_n to_o desire_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o serve_v my_o lord_n christ_n in_o all_o the_o relation_n he_o have_v set_v i_o in_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o that_o end_n every_o fail_n in_o any_o of_o they_o either_o as_o a_o child_n or_o friend_n or_o any_o relation_n though_o i_o too_o sad_o fail_v in_o they_o all_o this_o be_v that_o which_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o above_o all_o thing_n break_v my_o heart_n to_o think_v that_o hereby_o i_o do_v dishonour_n my_o lord_n jesus_n and_o that_o profession_n of_o be_v his_o servant_n it_o be_v not_o
thing_n fear_v lest_o i_o have_v too_o much_o eye_n to_o my_o own_o comfort_n and_o advantage_n which_o i_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o crucify_v in_o i_o 12_o though_o there_o be_v too_o much_o if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o good_a of_o this_o wicked_a root_n of_o pride_n and_o selfconfidence_n in_o i_o yet_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v bless_v be_v his_o name_n ever_o and_o anon_o to_o be_v pull_v off_o those_o proud_a plume_n and_o put_v in_o i_o most_o ferious_a and_o solid_a thought_n to_o make_v i_o see_v that_o all_o that_o i_o have_v do_v or_o be_o able_a to_o do_v be_v very_o little_a and_o so_o make_v my_o soul_n in_o some_o measure_n to_o walk_v humble_o upon_o this_o twofold_a respect_n first_o consider_v that_o my_o lord_n be_v so_o worthy_a and_o the_o service_n that_o i_o be_o able_a to_o do_v so_o unworthy_a of_o he_o now_o shall_v that_o lord_n that_o have_v do_v so_o much_o for_o i_o have_v such_o service_n as_o this_o oh_o how_o poor_a and_o low_a be_v it_o the_o thought_n whereof_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v a_o mean_n to_o abase_v i_o second_o another_o thing_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o make_v a_o mean_n to_o humble_v my_o soul_n be_v the_o consideration_n of_o this_o that_o the_o defect_n in_o all_o my_o service_n of_o he_o arise_v not_o so_o much_o from_o without_o no_o nor_o from_o all_o the_o power_n of_o satan_n and_o hell_n as_o from_o within_o as_o from_o the_o corruption_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o this_o make_v i_o often_o cry_v out_o before_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o body_n of_o death_n o_o wretched_a creature_n that_o i_o be_o the_o good_a that_o i_o will_v that_o do_v i_o not_o but_o the_o evil_a that_o i_o hate_v that_o i_o do_v 13._o o_o my_o soul_n be_v thou_o not_o real_o glad_a if_o by_o any_o mean_n thou_o may_v be_v make_v faithful_a and_o be_v not_o all_o that_o thou_o do_v almost_o in_o order_n to_o this_o wherefore_o else_o do_v thou_o read_v hear_v pray_v meditate_v converse_v with_o saint_n but_o still_o that_o thou_o may_v be_v more_o able_a for_o and_o faithful_a in_o the_o service_n of_o thy_o lord_n 14._o shall_v i_o say_v i_o gather_v some_o comfortable_a hope_n hence_o that_o my_o lord_n have_v make_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n faithful_a in_o that_o i_o love_v my_o work_n more_o than_o my_o life_n i_o trust_v through_o grace_n i_o may_v speak_v something_o to_o this_o also_o i_o confess_v often_o time_n in_o my_o most_o serious_a thought_n if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o wretched_o deceive_v i_o i_o can_v glad_o part_v with_o this_o wretched_a life_n and_o desire_v to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v far_o better_a and_o oftentimes_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v impatient_a of_o delay_n until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o quiet_a my_o heart_n with_o such_o like_a thought_n as_o these_o shall_v be_v will_v hereafter_o to_o receive_v my_o wage_n and_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v as_o willing_a to_o do_v my_o lord_n work_v here_o and_o in_o his_o own_o time_n what_o though_o it_o be_v sad_a work_n to_o work_v in_o the_o dark_a mine_n of_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n to_o be_v continual_o fight_v and_o wrestle_v with_o those_o enemy_n of_o my_o lord_n and_o of_o my_o soul_n and_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v willing_a to_o do_v his_o work_n as_o the_o jew_n do_v they_o in_o build_v the_o wall_n of_o jerusalem_n that_o he_o will_v have_v i_o to_o work_v with_o one_o hand_n and_o with_o the_o other_o to_o hold_v a_o weapon_n with_o my_o shield_n always_o by_o my_o side_n in_o a_o continual_a fight_a posture_n shall_v i_o not_o be_v willing_a to_o serve_v my_o lord_n in_o his_o own_o way_n o_o lord_n if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n i_o will_v do_v it_o therefore_o lord_n help_v i_o and_o make_v i_o faithful_a in_o it_o that_o i_o may_v never_o make_v any_o peace_n with_o one_o enemy_n of_o thou_o or_o give_v they_o any_o quarter_n but_o continual_o seek_v their_o life_n ruin_n and_o blood_n who_o draw_v the_o blood_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n lord_n shall_v say_v that_o these_o thing_n do_v hold_v forth_o in_o any_o measure_n my_o faithfulness_n to_o thou_o or_o do_v they_o not_o rather_o hold_v forth_o thy_o faithfulness_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n who_o have_v ever_o appear_v faithful_a though_o i_o have_v be_v unbelieving_a and_o unfaithful_a yet_o thou_o have_v be_v faithful_a and_o it_o be_v thou_o that_o indeed_o work_v all_o my_o work_n in_o and_o for_o i_o which_o lord_n hasten_v the_o complete_n of_o make_v my_o soul_n such_o as_o thy_o soul_n may_v delight_v in_o even_o a_o spouse_n fit_a for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o 25._o of_o the_o 10._o month_n common_o call_v by_o english_a people_n christmas_n or_o the_o bless_a time_n but_o i_o be_o sure_a through_o the_o rich_a grace_n of_o god_n it_o prove_v a_o bless_a time_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n for_o though_o through_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n i_o go_v with_o a_o sad_a heart_n before_o the_o lord_n this_o lord_n day_n yet_o ever_o and_o anon_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v with_o exceed_a joy_n wâ—…_n joy_n arise_v in_o part_n from_o the_o refreshment_n the_o lord_n give_v i_o in_o communion_n with_o he_o over_o night_n after_o i_o have_v with_o some_o sadness_n attend_v upon_o he_o all_o the_o morning_n not_o find_v so_o full_a a_o appearance_n of_o he_o as_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o a_o expectation_n of_o yet_o in_o that_o afternoon_n how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v through_o mr._n knight_n ministry_n in_o many_o sweet_a refreshment_n and_o seasonable_a truth_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o come_v in_o with_o so_o much_o the_o more_o life_n and_o power_n the_o lord_n have_v but_o the_o day_n before_o give_v i_o such_o a_o discovery_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o of_o the_o working_n of_o it_o before_o he_o as_o also_o of_o that_o full_a resignation_n that_o he_o have_v wrought_v in_o i_o of_o my_o whole_a self_n and_o by-end_n and_o will_n to_o he_o mr._n knight_n speak_v this_o day_n from_o 3_o joh._n 18._o and_o finish_v it_o there_o be_v one_o word_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n set_v upon_o my_o heart_n from_o 1_o cor._n 1._o 30._o who_o be_v make_v unto_o we_o of_o god_n wisdom_n righteousness_n sanctification_n &_o redemption_n and_o oh_o how_o much_o need_n have_v my_o soul_n of_o all_o these_o of_o wisdom_n to_o guide_v i_o of_o righteousness_n to_o plead_v for_o i_o &_o of_o sanctification_n be_v a_o pollute_a wretch_n defile_v all_o over_o yea_o of_o redemption_n out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o satan_n &_o my_o own_o corruption_n &_o see_v christ_n be_v make_v thus_o of_o god_n &_o not_o only_o in_o himself_o so_o but_o unto_o we_o then_o up_o o_o my_o soul_n &_o believe_v as_o thou_o be_v then_o lively_o press_v to_o &_o have_v so_o many_o sweet_a encouragement_n as_o thou_o have_v that_o day_n inwhich_v the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n to_o answer_n thy_o desire_n over_o night_n which_o appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o glorious_a and_o his_o condescension_n the_o great_a by_o how_o much_o he_o have_v three_o or_o four_o time_n before_o glorious_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n through_o our_o say_a pastor_n but_o through_o one_o temptation_n or_o another_o i_o be_v still_o prevent_v from_o give_v or_o return_v public_a praise_n for_o it_o as_o i_o do_v desire_v but_o often_o provoke_v and_o occasion_v rather_o to_o wrangle_v against_o my_o own_o mercy_n and_o fall_v to_o question_v how_o i_o may_v know_v whether_o they_o be_v appearance_n of_o god_n yea_o or_o no_o now_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o pass_v by_o all_o this_o and_o so_o condescend_v to_o my_o weakness_n and_o folly_n as_o to_o appear_v so_o glorious_o as_o he_o do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v with_o a_o holy_a violence_n to_o force_n or_o constrain_v i_o to_o acknowledge_v it_o to_o mr._n knight_n and_o desire_v he_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o providence_n order_v it_o so_o that_o i_o be_v all_o alone_a at_o the_o meetinghouse_n this_o day_n between_o the_o two_o sermon_n for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o hour_n or_o more_o i_o earnest_o desire_v the_o lord_n to_o show_v i_o what_o his_o mind_n be_v or_o what_o end_v he_o may_v aim_v at_o in_o these_o trial_n and_o administration_n towards_o i_o as_o i_o sit_v ruminate_v and_o consider_v what_o end_v the_o lord_n may_v aim_v at_o there_o be_v these_o thing_n hint_v with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o 1._o true_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n before_o in_o a_o very_a dead_a listless_a cold_a frame_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n who_o do_v by_o
how_o glorious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unveil_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o thou_o as_o a_o physician_n to_o poor_a sick_a soul_n which_o discovery_n of_o he_o as_o it_o be_v very_o glorious_a so_o most_o suitable_a to_o the_o present_a estate_n of_o thy_o spirit_n be_v as_o i_o trust_v i_o may_v true_o say_v sick_a of_o its_o self_n of_o all_o its_o way_n and_o doubt_n and_o fail_n to_o all_o my_o relation_n &_o conversation_n and_o o_o how_o sweet_a and_o seasonable_a be_v it_o now_o to_o hear_v of_o such_o a_o physician_n as_o he_o be_v glorious_o hold_v out_o to_o be_v from_o that_o 9_o matth._n 12._o and_o for_o the_o other_o suit_n in_o cause_v my_o soul_n deep_o to_o fall_v in_o love_n with_o he_o and_o to_o be_v real_o take_v off_o from_o all_o thing_n else_o even_o for_o this_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v until_o the_o same_o lord_n shall_v please_v to_o give_v in_o as_o gracious_a a_o answer_n which_o i_o trust_v he_o will_v also_o do_v in_o his_o due_a time_n and_o for_o those_o request_n put_v up_o this_o morning_n i_o can_v not_o but_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o bow_v down_o and_o give_v i_o a_o sensible_a token_n of_o his_o glorious_a and_o gracious_a presence_n through_o which_o that_o present_a mercy_n in_o prayer_n every_o word_n come_v as_o it_o be_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n in_o both_o the_o prayer_n before_o and_o after_o sermon_n be_v the_o very_a groan_n and_o breathe_n of_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o every_o word_n in_o the_o sermon_n almost_o be_v as_o it_o be_v speak_v from_o heaven_n to_o my_o heart_n so_o full_o and_o in_o those_o very_a thing_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v at_o that_o very_a time_n burden_a withal_o and_o i_o think_v to_o have_v vent_v to_o mr._n knight_n our_o dear_a pastor_n the_o day_n before_o which_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v i_o in_o i_o real_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o have_v have_v so_o clear_a and_o gracious_a a_o sight_n of_o god_n in_o this_o his_o appearance_n but_o shall_v have_v think_v sure_o he_o have_v speak_v those_o thing_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o but_o bless_v be_v that_o god_n that_o order_v thing_n so_o as_o to_o give_v his_o poor_a creature_n a_o more_o clear_a sight_n of_o the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n even_o as_o a_o prayer-hearing_a god_n and_o all_o this_o notwithstanding_o the_o rebellion_n of_o my_o spirit_n even_o under_o the_o hope_n of_o his_o appearance_n break_v out_o into_o that_o rash_a and_o sinful_a word_n be_v exceed_o weary_v go_v up_o and_o down_o westminster-hall_n and_o to_o whitehall_n and_o to_o and_o fro_o up_o and_o down_o then_o as_o i_o say_v do_v the_o passion_n of_o my_o wicked_a spirit_n cause_v i_o to_o break_v out_o into_o this_o foolish_a sinful_a expression_n say_v if_o i_o have_v know_v this_o i_o will_v not_o have_v come_v out_o this_o day_n when_o as_o perhaps_o the_o lord_n intent_n by_o it_o be_v to_o try_v i_o and_o make_v the_o folly_n of_o my_o heart_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o see_v how_o my_o faith_n can_v bear_v up_o against_o those_o discouragement_n and_o bodily_a trial_n for_o my_o body_n be_v much_o distemper_v and_o in_o this_o my_o walk_v up_o and_o down_o i_o have_v a_o pain_n take_v i_o under_o my_o side_n that_o strike_v through_o my_o breast_n to_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o look_v every_o moment_n when_o i_o shall_v fall_v down_o in_o the_o street_n as_o i_o go_v along_o and_o as_o i_o come_v back_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o my_o rebellion_n and_o repent_v of_o my_o journey_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v not_o to_o do_v by_o i_o as_o righteous_o he_o may_v for_o he_o repent_v not_o of_o his_o intend_a kindness_n to_o i_o though_o i_o repent_v at_o my_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o it_o and_o though_o i_o be_v full_a of_o change_n yet_o he_o change_v not_o but_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v i_o back_o again_o to_o westminster_n and_o that_o in_o due_a time_n i_o be_v glad_a and_o begin_v to_o recover_v my_o spirit_n again_o o_o how_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v as_o it_o be_v with_o this_o exceed_a appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o some_o measure_n enlarge_v that_o evening_n to_o bless_v his_o name_n who_o have_v so_o often_o appear_v and_o to_o all_o add_v the_o mercy_n of_o this_o day_n manifest_v self_n to_o be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n but_o o_o that_o curse_a unbelief_n of_o my_o wicked_a heart_n that_o have_v have_v so_o much_o and_o so_o manifold_a appearance_n of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o goodness_n and_o shall_v yet_o trust_v he_o no_o more_o which_o also_o great_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o crucify_v my_o unbelief_n but_o i_o confess_v this_o be_v it_o that_o often_o give_v the_o turn_n and_o draw_v a_o cloud_n as_o it_o be_v before_o i_o even_o the_o mighty_a prevalence_n of_o corruption_n in_o my_o soul_n which_o make_v i_o often_o to_o cry_v out_o lord_n when_o shall_v i_o see_v this_o body_n of_o death_n and_o sin_n subdue_v and_o crucify_v and_o my_o soul_n full_o subject_v to_o thou_o this_o be_v the_o burden_n of_o my_o soul_n even_o then_o when_o the_o lord_n shine_v forth_o most_o clear_o upon_o my_o heart_n to_o think_v what_o a_o unsuitable_a frame_n of_o spirit_n be_v there_o in_o i_o to_o all_o those_o wonderful_a way_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o that_o by_o all_o the_o sight_n he_o give_v i_o of_o himself_o and_o his_o will_n i_o be_o no_o more_o change_v into_o his_o likeness_n the_o 15_o day_n of_o this_o twelve_o month_n at_o night_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v exceed_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o the_o root_n out_o of_o those_o corruption_n issue_v out_o of_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o creature_n and_o gather_v of_o it_o up_o into_o himself_o and_o order_v my_o affection_n and_o the_o like_a as_o also_o be_v great_o draw_v out_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v he_o beseech_v he_o to_o enable_v i_o to_o it_o to_o bless_v he_o for_o his_o answer_n so_o often_o give_v i_o to_o the_o importunate_a desire_n and_o request_n of_o my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v so_o often_o tempt_v he_o for_o it_o be_v not_o israel_n only_o that_o tempt_v he_o ten_o time_n but_o i_o have_v often_o tempt_v he_o so_o that_o he_o may_v have_v righteous_o give_v that_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o a_o curse_n together_o with_o it_o but_o i_o do_v now_o great_o desire_v to_o bless_v he_o that_o hitherto_o he_o have_v deny_v i_o in_o it_o beseech_v he_o so_o to_o do_v still_o and_o subject_a my_o soul_n to_o he_o in_o all_o my_o way_n beg_v he_o earnest_o that_o he_o will_v once_o work_v my_o heart_n to_o such_o assurance_n that_o i_o may_v be_v careful_a in_o nothing_o and_o in_o nothing_o thoughtful_a for_o or_o studious_a about_o any_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o to_o give_v up_o myself_o whole_o to_o be_v at_o his_o dispose_n yea_o more_o than_o ever_o i_o have_v be_v to_o any_o bodily_a physician_n beseech_v he_o now_o that_o he_o will_v undertake_v to_o be_v my_o soul_n physician_n and_o to_o cure_v i_o of_o those_o soul-distemper_n in_o my_o affection_n and_o practice_n let_v the_o physic_n be_v what_o he_o will_v let_v it_o but_o be_v of_o his_o prescribe_v and_o to_o support_v my_o spirit_n under_o his_o hand_n and_o make_v it_o willing_a to_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n and_o then_o lord_n do_v with_o i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o now_o father_n what_o be_v those_o request_n that_o thou_o will_v hear_v have_v thou_o not_o say_v what_o ever_o we_o ask_v in_o thy_o son_n name_n thou_o will_v hear_v why_o in_o thy_o son_n name_n i_o desire_v to_o come_v for_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o plead_v there_o be_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o for_o thy_o son_n sake_n the_o son_n of_o thy_o bosom_n and_o love_n who_o die_v for_o poor_a sinner_n such_o as_o thy_o poor_a worm_n be_v for_o his_o sake_n and_o in_o his_o name_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o and_o thou_o have_v say_v whatsoever_o we_o ask_v according_a to_o thy_o will_n thou_o will_v hear_v now_o lord_n be_v not_o this_o agreeable_a to_o thy_o will_n to_o be_v conform_v more_o to_o thou_o and_o have_v my_o will_n more_o subject_v to_o thou_o and_o my_o affection_n more_o place_v upon_o thou_o o_o then_o lord_n see_v thou_o say_v what_o we_o ask_v believe_v we_o shall_v have_v it_o lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n &_o help_v i_o to_o wait_v upon_o thou_o believe_o the_o eighteen_o of_o this_o twelve_o month_n have_v be_v these_o eight_o or_o nine_o day_n last_o pass_v somewhat_o distemper_v in_o body_n which_o distemper_n prevail_v more_o and_o
more_o upon_o i_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v hardly_o be_v able_a to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o administration_n the_o next_o day_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v and_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o he_o yet_o very_o early_o that_o morning_n i_o have_v many_o reason_n in_o myself_o what_o to_o do_v be_v loath_a to_o distrust_v the_o power_n of_o god_n that_o i_o have_v so_o often_o find_v eminent_o hold_v out_o to_o i_o and_o yet_o unwilling_a to_o tempt_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o any_o extraordinary_a way_n desire_v much_o his_o direction_n at_o last_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o resolve_v to_o go_v notwithstanding_o i_o be_v exceed_v ill_o of_o a_o extraordinary_a cold_a beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o as_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o that_o probability_n of_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o once_o more_o that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o bless_a opportunity_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o his_o mighty_a power_n and_o spirit_n may_v accompany_v every_o word_n and_o hint_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o spiritual_a advantage_n to_o i_o such_o as_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o and_o also_o to_o mould_v i_o into_o whatever_o truth_n he_o shall_v reveal_v to_o i_o that_o day_n and_o true_o i_o desire_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o nineteenth_o day_n of_o this_o twelve_o month_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o glorious_o to_o appear_v through_o his_o word_n administer_v by_o our_o dear_a pastor_n both_o in_o the_o exposition_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o 14._o of_o matt._n as_o also_o in_o both_o sermon_n this_o day_n at_o which_o time_n he_o begin_v to_o discourse_v upon_o the_o 45_o psalm_n but_o do_v only_o handle_v the_o title_n of_o it_o this_o day_n from_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o hint_n out_o very_o precious_a glorious_a useful_a yea_o seasonable_a instruction_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v earnest_o to_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o cast_v and_o mould_v my_o heart_n into_o yea_o such_o truth_n as_o prove_v a_o answer_n to_o several_a desire_n of_o my_o soul_n many_o day_n before_o and_o to_o the_o groan_n of_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n even_o continual_o almost_o to_o wit_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o gather_v my_o heart_n out_o of_o all_o thing_n below_o jesus_n christ_n and_o give_v i_o to_o the_o end_n such_o a_o sight_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o may_v indeed_o take_v my_o heart_n from_o all_o other_o thing_n now_o that_o at_o this_o time_n the_o lord_n shall_v thus_o seasonable_o cast_v his_o thought_n upon_o such_o a_o scripture_n as_o this_o it_o do_v cause_v my_o soul_n to_o admire_v the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o condescension_n to_o such_o a_o worm_n yea_o whereas_o my_o spirit_n have_v of_o late_o be_v great_o trouble_v about_o my_o foolish_a conversation_n be_v not_o such_o as_o may_v any_o way_n adorn_v the_o gospel_n walk_v very_o unseemly_a in_o all_o my_o relation_n and_o very_o much_o offend_v therein_o with_o my_o tongue_n which_o have_v occasion_v many_o a_o sad_a thought_n upon_o my_o heart_n and_o many_o a_o sigh_n and_o groan_n yea_o tear_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o set_v a_o watch_n before_o my_o mouth_n and_o subdue_v this_o wicked_a iniquity_n in_o i_o and_o now_o do_v the_o lord_n this_o day_n lie_v open_a the_o spring_n the_o root_n the_o cause_n of_o it_o my_o eye_n be_v not_o as_o it_o ought_v upon_o my_o heart_n nor_o my_o heart_n as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n nor_o when_o it_o be_v upon_o he_o be_v it_o in_o a_o boil_a frame_n for_o as_o by_o he_o hint_v be_v the_o heart_n boil_v hot_a about_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o tongue_n can_v not_o issue_v out_o such_o vanity_n as_o it_o do_v now_o dear_a lord_n let_v not_o these_o thing_n be_v spread_v before_o i_o in_o vain_a i_o beseech_v thou_o but_o do_v thou_o by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o thy_o spirit_n make_v they_o of_o singular_a use_n unto_o i_o the_o 11_o of_o this_o first_o month_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o manifest_v himself_o in_o that_o relation_n of_o a_o husband_n to_o my_o soul_n more_o and_o more_o let_v i_o to_o find_v and_o feel_v what_o it_o be_v experimental_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o he_o and_o gather_v up_o into_o more_o intimate_a communion_n with_o he_o and_o much_o more_o to_o this_o effect_n the_o next_o morning_n he_o cause_v my_o soul_n to_o breath_n out_o in_o this_o manner_n that_o though_o i_o be_v every_o way_n unfit_a for_o communion_n with_o he_o yet_o beseech_v he_o to_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o a_o sight_n of_o himself_o will_v much_o rejoice_v my_o heart_n tell_v he_o that_o as_o he_o have_v often_o appear_v glorious_o in_o this_o kind_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o let_v my_o soul_n find_v once_o again_o by_o experience_n his_o mighty_a power_n to_o break_v out_o through_o what_o ever_o instrument_n he_o shall_v please_v to_o make_v use_n of_o this_o day_n that_o i_o may_v through_o they_o have_v a_o glorious_a sight_n of_o himself_o in_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o bow_v down_o appear_v gracious_o through_o mr._n price_n who_o speak_v to_o we_o in_o his_o name_n the_o 12._o day_n of_o this_o first_o month._n upon_o the_o 26._o day_n of_o this_o first_o month_n 1654._o we_o go_v to_o james_n expect_v to_o have_v hear_v mr._n cradock_n but_o when_o we_o come_v there_o we_o hear_v there_o will_v be_v a_o stranger_n at_o which_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o after_o some_o debate_n in_o myself_o i_o begin_v to_o repine_v but_o expect_v the_o lord_n may_v have_v some_o seasonable_a word_n for_o i_o and_o true_o bless_v be_v his_o name_n there_o be_v many_o seasonable_a thing_n hint_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o he_o which_o both_o refresh_v &_o stay_v my_o spirit_n the_o next_o day_n at_o night_n be_v the_o 27_o of_o this_o first_o month_n among_o other_o thing_n when_o i_o be_v seek_v of_o the_o lord_n he_o draw_v out_o my_o soul_n with_o some_o measure_n of_o sensibleness_n of_o his_o hand_n upon_o our_o pastor_n what_o a_o sad_a stroke_n it_o will_v be_v if_o the_o lord_n shall_v strip_v we_o of_o he_o take_v he_o from_o we_o oh_o what_o will_v become_v of_o god_n glory_n how_o will_v his_o and_o our_o enemy_n insult_v over_o we_o though_o it_o be_v true_a we_o have_v deserve_v it_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o have_v to_o be_v strip_v of_o this_o mercy_n and_o scatter_v from_o each_o other_o because_o we_o have_v be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a under_o all_o the_o mercy_n mean_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o and_o i_o beg_v to_o sanctify_v his_o hand_n upon_o he_o both_z as_o to_o he_o and_o we_o &_o teach_v we_o all_o to_o improve_v it_o and_o know_v his_o mind_n in_o it_o desire_v the_o lord_n withal_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o hasten_v and_o accomplish_v his_o work_n through_o this_o dispensation_n and_o in_o his_o own_o time_n to_o command_v health_n and_o deliverance_n to_o we_o and_o give_v in_o this_o mercy_n as_o a_o pledge_n of_o his_o love_n among_o we_o that_o he_o may_v come_v again_o among_o we_o fill_v with_o the_o spirit_n and_o ready_a to_o break_v out_o those_o discovery_n of_o god_n upon_o his_o heart_n and_o that_o we_o also_o may_v be_v fit_v for_o this_o mercy_n and_o make_v more_o ready_a to_o receive_v impression_n from_o god_n through_o he_o then_o former_o and_o for_o my_o own_o soul_n after_o many_o request_n for_o the_o subdue_a of_o corruption_n and_o regulate_v my_o affection_n and_o take_v off_o my_o heart_n from_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o place_v it_o upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n after_o which_o and_o many_o other_o request_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n with_o desire_n that_o if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v to_o add_v another_o night_n or_o another_o day_n to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v together_o with_o it_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o it_o and_o that_o as_o he_o renew_v the_o light_n and_o raise_v from_o sleep_n so_o that_o he_o will_v inlve_v my_o heart_n in_o his_o way_n and_o quicken_v up_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o more_o lively_a service_n of_o he_o and_o if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v to_o give_v i_o one_o opportunity_n more_o to_o hear_v his_o word_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o fit_v i_o for_o it_o and_o to_o come_v in_o through_o whatsoever_o instrument_n he_o shall_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n may_v have_v such_o a_o bless_a sight_n of_o he_o
soul_n in_o former_a day_n in_o the_o night-season_n and_o how_o sweet_a my_o meditation_n of_o he_o have_v be_v night_n and_o morning_n upon_o my_o bed_n and_o how_o barren_a my_o heart_n have_v be_v for_o some_o time_n of_o late_a in_o these_o meditation_n and_o how_o the_o lord_n have_v seem_v to_o withdraw_v these_o thought_n do_v put_v i_o upon_o it_o the_o ten_o of_o this_o second_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o as_o he_o have_v former_o appear_v in_o such_o season_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o return_v that_o mercy_n even_o by_o those_o torch_n of_o his_o hand_n whereby_o my_o night_n be_v very_o wearisome_a to_o my_o body_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o extreme_a cough_n &_o true_o i_o do_v the_o more_o press_v it_o upon_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o desire_n have_v much_o groan_v to_o think_v that_o night_n will_v be_v very_o wearisome_a to_o i_o more_o than_o any_o former_o by_o reason_n of_o my_o distemper_n but_o my_o good_a god_n who_o work_v all_o thing_n after_o the_o counsel_n of_o his_o own_o will_n and_o not_o according_a to_o our_o thought_n or_o fear_n or_o hope_n so_o order_v it_o that_o what_o i_o have_v reason_n most_o to_o fear_n he_o give_v i_o least_o to_o feel_v and_o though_o i_o be_v much_o distemper_v in_o my_o head_n when_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o cold_n that_o be_v so_o great_a yet_o do_v he_o give_v i_o very_o good_a rest_n all_o the_o forepart_n of_o the_o night_n which_o when_o i_o awake_v towards_o morning_n and_o begin_v to_o consider_v oh_o i_o can_v not_o but_o admire_v but_o withal_o begin_v to_o think_v that_o though_o my_o desire_n about_o this_o be_v answer_v and_o though_o i_o have_v rest_n of_o body_n yet_o no_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n or_o reason_v with_o my_o own_o heart_n which_o i_o intend_v to_o have_v parly_v a_o little_a with_o while_o i_o have_v these_o thought_n and_o the_o like_a lie_v in_o a_o slumber_a way_n there_o be_v this_o thought_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n which_o mr._n cradock_n the_o four_o day_n of_o this_o second_o month_n mention_v upon_o another_o occasion_n the_o word_n be_v these_o that_o vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a that_o be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n these_o word_n run_v much_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o some_o thought_n be_v give_v in_o upon_o they_o with_o a_o great_a desire_n i_o may_v not_o forget_v they_o but_o may_v in_o the_o morning_n see_v and_o find_v out_o that_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o as_o i_o think_v a_o opportunity_n and_o so_o much_o strength_n as_o to_o go_v and_o hear_v mr._n cradick_n i_o haste_v as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v get_v up_o to_o prepare_v for_o go_v but_o when_o we_o come_v there_o have_v pray_v to_o the_o lord_n in_o some_o few_o word_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v i_o some_o sight_n of_o himself_o some_o transform_a sight_n and_o some_o kiss_n from_o his_o lip_n this_o day_n but_o go_v there_o we_o be_v disappoint_v for_o that_o exercise_n be_v for_o some_o occasion_n put_v off_o to_o next_o morning_n and_o so_o we_o come_v home_o again_o and_o come_v home_o be_v a_o little_a sadned_a in_o my_o spirit_n think_v of_o my_o morning-desire_n &_o when_o a_o answer_n shall_v be_v of_o they_o or_o how_o look_v for_o i_o sit_v i_o down_o and_o fall_v to_o read_v a_o little_a of_o mr._n cradock_n sermon_n before_o mention_v and_o meet_v with_o these_o word_n oh_o vain_a man_n that_o will_v be_v wise_a put_v i_o again_o in_o mind_n of_o my_o night-thought_n and_o fall_v to_o look_v the_o scripture_n and_o find_v it_o in_o job_n 11._o 12._o for_o vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a though_o man_n be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n some_o hint_n there_o be_v that_o fall_v upon_o my_o heart_n this_o night_n from_o these_o word_n vain_a man_n will_v be_v wise_a good_a god_n have_v not_o this_o be_v my_o condition_n this_o poor_a vain_a creature_n will_v i_o not_o fain_o be_v wise_a and_o think_v to_o be_v so_o and_o often_o pride_v myself_o in_o the_o thought_n of_o it_o for_o which_o the_o lord_n righteous_o show_v i_o now_o and_o then_o my_o folly_n yet_o how_o fain_o will_v i_o be_v wise_a in_o chalk_v out_o way_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o walk_v in_o towards_o i_o even_o as_o if_o i_o know_v better_a what_o be_v good_a for_o i_o then_o god_n or_o how_o to_o accomplish_v that_o work_n in_o my_o soul_n better_o than_o he_o and_o therefore_o be_o i_o so_o ready_a to_o prescribe_v to_o he_o way_n yea_o and_o if_o he_o refuse_v and_o reject_v they_o as_o for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o do_v bless_a be_v his_o name_n oh_o how_o sad_o do_v it_o often_o lie_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o how_o apt_a be_o i_o to_o think_v hardly_o of_o the_o lord_n that_o true_o he_o do_v not_o mean_v i_o any_o good_a in_o deny_v i_o this_o or_o that_o i_o desire_v and_o for_o the_o late_a word_n though_o man_n be_v bear_v like_o a_o wild_a ass_n colt_n concern_v which_o i_o have_v some_o scatter_a thought_n but_o not_o so_o compose_v as_o afterward_o but_o after_o i_o have_v come_v home_o from_o james_n next_o day_n and_o have_v look_v this_o scripture_n and_o find_v it_o sit_v and_o pause_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o my_o spirit_n be_v very_o much_o sadn_v and_o unfit_a for_o any_o serious_a spiritual_a meditation_n at_o last_o i_o betake_v myself_o to_o some_o short_a request_n to_o the_o lord_n tell_v he_o that_o as_o he_o be_v please_v thus_o to_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n of_o the_o public_a enjoyment_n yet_o in_o he_o there_o be_v a_o fullness_n of_o all_o power_n and_o ability_n thereby_o be_v as_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o i_o by_o his_o own_o spirit_n something_o that_o may_v be_v of_o spiritual_a advantage_n some_o transform_a word_n which_o he_o be_v able_a to_o do_v as_o well_o in_o private_a as_o in_o public_a which_o i_o do_v now_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o to_o that_o end_n beseech_v he_o to_o lead_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n this_o day_n and_o guide_v i_o into_o the_o way_n and_o put_v i_o upon_o the_o work_n and_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o appear_v to_o i_o with_o many_o other_o request_v both_o for_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o other_o in_o relation_n to_o i_o but_o not_o know_v what_o work_n to_o set_v upon_o this_o day_n or_o what_o to_o take_v in_o hand_n but_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n direction_n have_v many_o thing_n in_o my_o thought_n to_o do_v but_o desirous_a of_o some_o word_n from_o god_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n but_o this_o word_n in_o job_n 11._o 12._o follow_v i_o still_o i_o fall_v to_o some_o further_a thought_n of_o it_o and_o ruminate_v on_o the_o latter_a clause_n of_o be_v like_o the_o wild_a ass_n i_o begin_v to_o think_v what_o that_o scripture_n do_v record_n of_o this_o creature_n that_o i_o see_v do_v resemble_v i_o full_o and_o there_o these_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o it_o go_v up_o and_o down_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o be_v find_v in_o her_o month_n which_o word_n i_o find_v in_o jeremiah_n 2._o 24._o a_o wild_a ass_n use_v to_o the_o wilderness_n that_o snuff_v up_o the_o wind_n at_o her_o pleasure_n in_o her_o occasion_n who_o can_v turn_v she_o away_o all_o these_o that_o seek_v she_o will_v weary_v themselves_o in_o her_o month_n they_o shall_v find_v she_o in_o which_o as_o also_o in_o most_o part_n of_o the_o chapter_n i_o find_v many_o thing_n that_o sit_v very_o close_o to_o i_o the_o lord_n begin_v thus_o it_o be_v with_o i_o for_o in_o v._o 2._o i_o remember_v say_v he_o the_o kindn_a of_o thy_o youth_n the_o love_n of_o thy_o espousal_n when_o thou_o wente_v after_o i_o in_o the_o wilderness_n in_o a_o land_n that_o be_v not_o sow_o in_o the_o time_n of_o thy_o darkness_n sorrow_n and_o tear_n and_o bondage_n when_o thou_o wente_v after_o i_o and_o often_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o thy_o soul_n resolve_v to_o follow_v i_o through_o this_o wilderness_n though_o thou_o shall_v perish_v in_o so_o do_v yea_o resolve_v so_o to_o follow_v i_o as_o that_o thy_o heart_n be_v then_o full_o as_o it_o be_v take_v off_o from_o all_o but_o i_o thou_o do_v desire_v nothing_o but_o myself_o but_o ver_fw-la 5._o what_o iniquity_n have_v your_o father_n find_v in_o i_o that_o you_o go_v from_o i_o to_o follow_v after_o vanity_n how_o righteous_o may_v the_o lord_n say_v thus_o to_o i_o be_v he_o not_o better_o to_o i_o by_o far_o then_o ever_o i_o expect_v or_o can_v have_v believe_v v._o 6._o neither_o say_v they_o where_o
about_o so_o much_o to_o change_v thy_o way_n to_o run_v from_o one_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n to_o another_o thou_o also_o shall_v be_v ashamed_a of_o egypt_n as_o thou_o be_v of_o assyria_n v._n 37._o thou_o shall_v go_v forth_o from_o he_o and_o thy_o hand_n upon_o thy_o head_n in_o a_o posture_n of_o lamentation_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v reject_v thy_o confidence_n thou_o shall_v not_o prosper_v in_o they_o the_o lord_n persuade_v thy_o heart_n full_o of_o these_o truth_n and_o work_v thy_o soul_n to_o a_o frame_n suitable_a thereunto_o the_o 18._o day_n of_o this_o second_o month_n 1654._o this_o afternoon_n be_v somewhat_o burden_a at_o the_o wretched_a out-going_a of_o my_o wicked_a heart_n which_o be_v like_o a_o wild_a thing_n ready_a to_o break_v out_o upon_o every_o occasion_n even_o in_o read_v the_o scripture_n its_o self_n how_o sad_o do_v it_o take_v occasion_n to_o fly_v out_o the_o thought_n whereof_o very_o much_o oppress_v my_o spirit_n whilst_o i_o be_v seek_v the_o lord_n about_o it_o it_o be_v dart_v into_o i_o that_o the_o lord_n may_v be_v even_o now_o answer_v my_o own_o prayer_n and_o desire_n though_o the_o answer_n of_o they_o seem_v thus_o dreadful_a to_o i_o for_o oh_o how_o often_o have_v i_o former_o beg_v and_o desire_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v discover_v my_o own_o heart_n to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v anatomize_v it_o that_o i_o may_v see_v and_o know_v it_o even_o as_o he_o see_v and_o know_v it_o and_o the_o like_a and_o for_o aught_o i_o know_v this_o sad_a work_n up_o of_o corruption_n may_v even_o be_v to_o give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o what_o filth_n there_o be_v within_o my_o heart_n yea_o may_v i_o not_o in_o some_o measure_n have_v provoke_v the_o lord_n to_o suffer_v and_o permit_v sin_n to_o work_n in_o i_o by_o so_o vehement_a desire_n oh_o good_a lord_n what_o need_v then_o have_v we_o poor_a creature_n to_o seek_v of_o thou_o to_o teach_v soul_n what_o and_o how_o to_o pray_v for_o true_o we_o know_v not_o what_o to_o pray_v nay_o when_o thou_o come_v in_o answer_n even_o to_o our_o own_o importunate_a desire_n how_o unable_a be_v we_o to_o bear_v the_o answer_n of_o our_o own_o prayer_n oh_o the_o wretchedness_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v it_o not_o pollute_v in_o all_o that_o ever_o it_o do_v and_o say_v be_v not self_o and_o some_o by_o and_o base_a end_n or_o other_o at_o the_o end_n of_o every_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n do_v there_o not_o still_o step_v in_o some_o thing_n of_o self_n yea_o too_o often_o something_o of_o sin_n yea_o when_o in_o company_n i_o speak_v best_a yea_o such_o thing_n as_o other_o seem_v to_o admire_v at_o such_o expression_n and_o experience_n but_o alas_o be_v there_o not_o much_o sin_n in_o it_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v to_o live_v or_o practice_v what_o i_o speak_v nay_o be_v there_o not_o most_v a_o end_v some_o base_a end_n either_o in_o the_o speak_n of_o it_o or_o that_o come_v in_o headlong_a after_o it_o oh_o curse_a frame_n of_o spirit_n the_o 20_o day_n of_o this_o second_o month_n 1654._o have_v seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v breathe_v in_o by_o his_o spirit_n upon_o my_o soul_n and_o give_v i_o some_o sight_n of_o himself_o some_o communion_n with_o he_o and_o some_o discovery_n from_o he_o this_o afternoon_n there_o be_v these_o hint_n fall_v upon_o my_o heart_n soon_o after_o that_o i_o have_v be_v very_o remiss_a in_o improve_n those_o precious_a &_o glorious_a appearance_n of_o god_n to_o my_o soul_n through_o our_o dear_a pastor_n that_o so_o near_o concern_v i_o from_o that_o 45._o psalm_n and_o that_o therefore_o the_o lord_n have_v just_o lay_v he_o aside_o for_o a_o time_n even_o while_o he_o be_v enter_v into_o it_o o_o bless_a lord_n have_v thou_o watch_v over_o i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o childhood_n vanity_n unregeneracie_n when_o i_o know_v not_o my_o right_a hand_n from_o my_o left_a &_o have_v thou_o be_v with_o i_o ever_o since_o to_o this_o day_n and_o shall_v i_o now_o distrust_v thou_o or_o fear_v that_o thou_o shall_v now_o leave_v i_o to_o myself_o o_o curse_a unbelief_n have_v thou_o watch_v over_o i_o these_o six_o and_o twenty_o year_n and_o suffer_v no_o evil_a to_o overtake_v i_o but_o make_v all_o thing_n to_o work_v together_o for_o my_o good_a and_o shall_v i_o now_o fear_v and_o mistrust_v thy_o love_n have_v thou_o provide_v for_o i_o to_o this_o day_n that_o no_o good_a have_v be_v want_v to_o i_o and_o shall_v i_o now_o distrust_v thou_o or_o think_v thou_o will_v withhold_v any_o thing_n thou_o see_v good_a for_o i_o nay_o have_v thou_o not_o withheld_a i_o from_o evil_n that_o will_v have_v hurt_v i_o and_o must_v i_o now_o murmur_n repine_v and_o cry_v out_o of_o thy_o want_n of_o love_n to_o i_o and_o that_o thou_o shall_v bear_v all_o this_o and_o go_v on_o further_o to_o make_v out_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o and_o shall_v i_o yet_o distrust_v thou_o have_v thou_o overcome_v death_n and_o hell_n for_o i_o that_o i_o be_o not_o now_o in_o that_o slavish_a fear_n of_o they_o as_o former_o i_o have_v be_v and_o shall_v i_o still_o fear_v that_o thou_o will_v not_o overcome_v my_o corruption_n for_o i_o o_o curse_a unbelief_n the_o 23._o day_n of_o the_o second_o month_n 1654._o in_o the_o morning_n be_v much_o discourage_v in_o reference_n to_o any_o hope_n of_o god_n appearance_n have_v hear_v but_o slender_a commendation_n of_o he_o that_o be_v to_o speak_v this_o day_n yet_o be_v desirous_a to_o look_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n i_o beseech_v he_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v my_o soul_n some_o sight_n of_o himself_o and_o communion_n with_o he_o and_o that_o as_o i_o have_v former_a experience_n from_o he_o that_o the_o instrument_n be_v nothing_o if_o he_o will_v please_v to_o undertake_v the_o work_n &_o therefore_o i_o beseech_v he_o that_o his_o power_n may_v so_o appear_v that_o my_o soul_n may_v have_v a_o sight_n of_o he_o and_o there_o may_v be_v some_o seasonable_a word_n speak_v that_o may_v do_v my_o soul_n good_a and_o true_o i_o must_v needs_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n be_v please_v gracious_o to_o bow_v down_o and_o manifest_v his_o presence_n exceed_o beyond_o my_o expectation_n this_o day_n the_o four_o day_n of_o this_o three_o month_n 1654._o be_v to_o take_v a_o portion_n of_o physic_n i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o it_o may_v accomplish_v his_o will_n and_o pleasure_n upon_o i_o and_o if_o that_o lie_v in_o health_n that_o it_o may_v be_v sanctify_v to_o i_o if_o in_o sickness_n that_o my_o will_n may_v be_v bow_v and_o submit_v to_o his_o will_n the_o 7._o day_n of_o this_o three_o month_n at_o night_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o myheart_a to_o beg_v of_o he_o among_o other_o request_n that_o he_o will_v pardon_v all_o my_o misspend_a time_n and_o help_v i_o to_o improve_v what_o ever_o time_n he_o shall_v see_v meet_a to_o give_v i_o more_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n and_o to_o that_o end_n if_o he_o shall_v see_v meet_a to_o give_v i_o to_o enjoy_v another_o day_n and_o see_v the_o beginning_n of_o a_o new_a week_n that_o he_o will_v also_o give_v i_o a_o new_a heart_n and_o a_o new_a spirit_n and_o help_v i_o to_o walk_v more_o to_o his_o praise_n improve_n time_n better_o than_o former_o the_o next_o morning_n be_v the_o 8._o of_o this_o three_o month_n i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o presence_n that_o day_n notwithstanding_o all_o my_o unprofitableness_n and_o unworthiness_n of_o it_o with_o much_o to_o that_o effect_n and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o bow_v down_o and_o speak_v many_o sweet_a and_o seasonable_a thing_n to_o my_o soul_n both_o through_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr_n bradshaw_n that_o preach_v that_o day_n at_o fulham_n as_o also_o by_o his_o spirit_n through_o some_o scripture_n then_o hint_v unto_o we_o which_o cause_v my_o soul_n that_o night_n to_o breath_n out_o before_o the_o lord_n desire_v to_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o yet_o lament_v my_o unprofitableness_n under_o such_o glorious_a appearance_n of_o he_o and_o mis-improvement_n of_o they_o lament_v also_o the_o great_a iniquity_n of_o my_o tongue_n beseech_v the_o lord_n now_o to_o set_v a_o watch_n before_o my_o mouth_n and_o to_o keep_v the_o door_n of_o my_o lip_n as_o also_o my_o heart_n the_o 13._o of_o this_o three_o month_n in_o the_o morning_n as_o i_o be_v go_v down_o i_o have_v a_o strong_a repulse_n upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o speak_v a_o few_o word_n unto_o the_o lord_n before_o i_o go_v down_o at_o which_o time_n my_o heart_n be_v great_o draw_v out_o to_o speak_v to_o god_n to_o curse_v and_o blast_v and_o root_v
out_o of_o my_o heart_n these_o bitter_a root_n pride_n passion_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n that_o of_o passion_n he_o first_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n in_o this_o address_n to_o god_n find_v it_o so_o sad_o prevail_v tell_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o have_v often_o show_v i_o the_o evil_n of_o this_o both_o from_o the_o scripture_n time_n after_o time_n come_v sometime_o with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n &_o yet_o go_v off_o again_o yea_o he_o have_v appear_v against_o all_o these_o evil_n in_o many_o experience_n of_o the_o folly_n and_o vanity_n of_o they_o especial_o those_o of_o pride_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n how_o often_o have_v he_o show_v i_o the_o emptiness_n of_o all_o creature_n yea_o in_o the_o very_a thing_n i_o expect_v most_o from_o and_o how_o often_o have_v he_o blast_v my_o pride_n by_o these_o continual_a scoff_v i_o meet_v mithal_o and_o by_o all_o those_o infirmity_n upon_o my_o body_n for_o all_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n beseech_v he_o once_o to_o speak_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o utter_a ruin_n of_o these_o evil_n in_o i_o the_o 24._o day_n of_o this_o four_o month_n be_v in_o my_o closet_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o pray_v that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o manifest_v his_o presence_n and_o drop_v something_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o may_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a good_a and_o advantage_n in_o answer_n thereunto_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v unexpected_o to_o cast_v i_o upon_o this_o scripture_n the_o 40._o of_o isaiah_n 1._o where_o the_o lord_n begin_v with_o a_o command_n to_o comfort_v his_o church_n yea_o to_o comfort_v they_o at_o the_o very_a heart_n but_o thou_o may_v say_v what_o do_v he_o comfort_v they_o withal_o 2._o first_o tell_v she_o her_o warfare_n be_v accomplish_v 2._o her_o iniquity_n be_v pardon_v yea_o he_o add_v she_o have_v receive_v of_o the_o lord_n hand_n double_a for_o all_o her_o sin_n twice_o as_o much_o mercy_n as_o she_o have_v sin_n 3._o he_o go_v on_o with_o a_o gracious_a promise_n that_o god_n will_v have_v a_o way_n make_v for_o he_o in_o the_o desert_n 4._o and_o that_o every_o valley_n shall_v he_o exalt_v and_o every_o high_a hill_n make_v low_a and_o the_o crooked_a make_v straight_o and_o that_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v reveal_v and_o all_o flesh_n see_v it_o which_o glory_n of_o he_o shall_v so_o darken_v all_o the_o creature_n glory_n that_o he_o add_v 6._o all_o flesh_n be_v grass_n nay_o it_o shall_v now_o appear_v to_o be_v but_o wither_a grass_n 7._o all_o which_o shall_v wither_v away_o and_o the_o word_n of_o god_n only_o abide_v then_o 8._o the_o lord_n call_v upon_o his_o people_n to_o rise_v from_o these_o wither_a thing_n 9_o get_v you_o up_o say_v he_o to_o the_o mountain_n second_o lift_v up_o your_o voice_n and_o three_o be_v not_o afraid_a as_o if_o the_o lord_n will_v secret_o intimate_v that_o he_o see_v his_o people_n too_o apt_a to_o grubble_v upon_o the_o earth_n and_o take_v content_a in_o these_o fade_a flower_n of_o the_o field_n not_o have_v their_o heart_n raise_v to_o so_o glorious_a a_o expectation_n of_o his_o appearance_n and_o revelation_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v observable_a he_o double_v it_o lift_v up_o your_o voice_n they_o be_v much_o averse_a to_o it_o yea_o say_v he_o fear_v not_o but_o why_o shall_v we_o not_o fear_v why_o behold_v your_o god_n a_o word_n of_o application_n and_o admiration_n 10._o yea_o he_o double_v it_o behold_v the_o lord_n god_n behold_v he_o will_v come_v and_o how_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n and_o his_o arm_n the_o strength_n of_o his_o hand_n shall_v rule_v for_o he_o then_o he_o add_v 11._o his_o reward_n be_v with_o he_o he_o shall_v feed_v his_o flock_n like_o a_o shepherd_n yea_o he_o gether_v the_o lamb_n with_o his_o arm_n and_o carry_v they_o in_o his_o bosom_n and_o gentle_o lead_v those_o that_o be_v with_o young_a then_o 12._o he_o go_v on_o the_o 27._o verse_n show_v the_o mighty_a power_n of_o his_o god_n above_o all_o creature_n 15._o how_o creature_n be_v to_o he_o but_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o a_o bucket_n and_o as_o the_o small_a dust_n of_o the_o balance_n 17._o yea_o as_o nothing_o and_o as_o a_o thing_n of_o nought_o when_o he_o have_v thus_o abundant_o set_v forth_o his_o mighty_a power_n he_o challenge_v all_o that_o unbelief_n in_o the_o heart_n of_o his_o people_n to_o come_v forth_o and_o meet_v he_o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o israel_n my_o way_n hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o have_v thou_o any_o reason_n for_o such_o thought_n 28._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v neither_o hear_v that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n see_v what_o glorious_a title_n here_o be_v to_o strengthen_v faith_n he_o faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a poor_a creature_n be_v apt_a to_o think_v sure_o they_o have_v weary_v the_o lord_n with_o their_o continual_a backslide_n and_o revolting_n but_o say_v hâ—_n have_v you_o not_o know_v that_o i_o be_o a_o everlasting_a god_n yea_o that_o i_o faint_v not_o neither_o be_o weary_a and_o he_o add_v that_o there_o be_v no_o search_v his_o understanding_n and_o not_o only_o be_v he_o thus_o glorious_a in_o himself_o but_o 29._o he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a yea_o to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n he_o increase_v strength_n o_o bless_a encouragement_n poor_a soul_n may_v say_v well_o be_v it_o so_o that_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o rebellion_n the_o lord_n be_v not_o weary_a nor_o faint_v in_o his_o arm_n or_o love_n to_o i_o yet_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a feeble_a creature_n and_o be_o ready_a to_o faint_v and_o not_o able_a to_o hold_v up_o the_o head_n but_o he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a also_o yea_o he_o eacrease_v their_o strength_n even_o 30._o the_o youth_n shall_v faint_v and_o be_v weary_a and_o the_o young_a man_n utter_o fall_v i.e._n they_o that_o trust_v in_o their_o own_o strength_n shall_v utter_o fail_v 31._o but_o they_o that_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n shall_v renew_v their_o strength_n they_o shall_v mount_v up_o as_o engles_n they_o shall_v run_v and_o no_o be_v weary_a walk_v and_o not_o fainâ—_n when_o they_o that_o can_v do_v nothing_o that_o have_v no_o strength_n or_o might_n but_o only_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o strength_n from_o he_o shall_v have_v this_o glorious_a promise_n make_v good_a to_o they_o o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o only_o upon_o the_o lord_n because_o thy_o expectation_n be_v only_o from_o he_o wait_v i_o say_v upon_o he_o isaiah_n 41._o 8._o 8._o he_o go_v on_o with_o rich_a encouragement_n to_o poor_a weak_a soul_n thou_o o_o israel_n art_n my_o servant_n jacob_n my_o choose_a this_o seed_n of_o abraham_n my_o friend_n sweet_a familiar_a title_n 9_o who_o i_o have_v take_v from_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n and_o call_v thou_o from_o the_o chief_a man_n thereof_o and_o say_v thou_o be_v my_o servant_n bless_a lord_n have_v thou_o not_o do_v this_o for_o my_o poor_a soul_n have_v thou_o take_v i_o when_o i_o be_v run_v even_o to_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n from_o place_n to_o place_n and_o thing_n to_o thing_n bewilder_v in_o all_o yea_o have_v not_o thou_o call_v i_o from_o the_o chief_a man_n thereof_o from_o the_o chief_a desirable_a thing_n of_o this_o world_n o_o lord_n enable_v my_o soul_n to_o follow_v this_o call_n of_o thou_o and_o make_v i_o indeed_o thy_o servant_n yea_o the_o lord_n add_v thou_o be_v my_o servant_n i_o have_v choose_v thou_o he_o do_v not_o say_v thou_o chose_v i_o but_z i_o have_v choose_v thou_o yea_o i_o have_v not_o choose_v and_o turn_v thou_o away_o again_o no_o i_o have_v choose_v thou_o and_o not_o cast_v thou_o off_o then_o he_o go_v on_o with_o more_o bless_a encouragement_n 10._o fear_v thou_o not_o why_o may_v they_o say_v why_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n add_v withal_o i_o be_o not_o only_o present_a with_o thou_o and_o that_o as_o thy_o god_n but_o i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o and_o that_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n a_o bless_a encouragement_n answer_v all_o objection_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n have_v say_v be_v thou_o a_o poor_a feeble_a weak_a creature_n unable_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n well_o i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o be_v thou_o still_o afraid_a why_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o and_o as_o it_o be_v work_v together_o with_o thou_o and_o be_v not_o this_o enough_o why_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o too_o and_o that_o
with_o my_o hand_n yea_o with_o my_o right_a hand_n yea_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n secret_o hint_v that_o there_o be_v a_o fear_n in_o a_o poor_a soul_n in_o point_n of_o righteousness_n then_o he_o go_v on_o to_o tell_v they_o what_o shall_v become_v of_o their_o enemy_n and_o he_o usher_v it_o in_o with_o a_o behold_v 11._o behold_v what_o i_o will_v do_v with_o thy_o enemy_n behold_v all_o they_o that_o be_v incense_v against_o thou_o shall_v be_v ashamed_a and_o confound_v yea_o they_o shall_v be_v as_o nothing_o yea_o they_o that_o do_v but_o strive_v with_o thou_o shall_v perish_v thou_o shall_v seek_v they_o and_o shall_v not_o find_v they_o even_o they_o that_o contend_v with_o thou_o it_o come_v in_o with_o a_o emphasis_n they_o that_o contend_v with_o thou_o they_o that_o war_n against_o thou_o shall_v be_v as_o nothing_o oh_o what_o a_o consummation_n be_v here_o determine_v from_o the_o lord_n against_o those_o enemy_n of_o his_o poor_a people_n and_o weak_a servant_n that_o strive_v contend_v and_o war_n with_o they_o they_o shall_v be_v first_o ashamed_a and_o confound_v but_o that_o be_v not_o all_o they_o shall_v perish_v also_o they_o shall_v not_o be_v to_o be_v find_v for_o they_o shall_v be_v bring_v to_o nothing_o oh_o what_o a_o destruction_n be_v here_o determine_v from_o the_o lord_n upon_o they_o they_o shall_v vanish_v so_o sudden_o that_o the_o poor_a soul_n shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v it_o but_o shall_v seek_v they_o and_o not_o find_v they_o they_o shall_v be_v as_o nothing_o and_o why_o so_o why_o because_o they_o be_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o a_o powerful_a god_n and_o though_o his_o servant_n be_v weak_a and_o poor_a and_o low_a he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v help_v thou_o in_o all_o hard_a service_n and_o in_o all_o thy_o strong_a conflict_n i_o will_v help_v thou_o and_o uphold_v thou_o with_o my_o arm_n also_o he_o add_v it_o again_o in_o the_o next_o verse_n even_o the_o same_o he_o have_v new_o speak_v in_o the_o ten_o verse_n but_o now_o he_o go_v on_o again_o apply_v it_o for_o i_o the_o lord_n thy_o god_n will_v hold_v thy_o right_a hand_n or_o as_o he_o say_v elsewhere_o i_o will_v teach_v thy_o hand_n to_o war_n and_o thy_o finger_n to_o fight_v yea_o i_o will_v not_o only_o help_v thou_o but_o i_o will_v encourage_v thou_o also_o say_v to_o thou_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yet_o lest_o this_o shall_v not_o be_v support_n or_o strengthen_v enough_o lest_o the_o soul_n shall_v object_v and_o say_v alas_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a creature_n a_o poor_a despise_a creature_n a_o worm_n the_o most_o despise_a creature_n that_o be_v even_o tread_v under_o foot_n of_o all_o the_o most_o useless_a of_o creature_n the_o most_o feeble_a creature_n the_o most_o unable_a to_o help_v its_o self_n against_o which_o the_o lord_n bow_v down_o glorious_o to_o add_v yet_o further_o 14._o fear_v not_o yea_o fear_v not_o thou_o worm_n jacob_n and_o you_o man_n of_o israel_n though_o you_o be_v but_o worm_n but_o man_n and_o be_v to_o grapple_v with_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n inward_a and_o outward_a enemy_n yet_o fear_v not_o you_o man_n of_o israel_n i_o help_v thou_o thus_o say_v the_o lord_n you_o the_o lord_n will_v help_v thou_o thou_o worm_n thou_o man_n i_o will_v that_o have_v command_v of_o those_o thy_o enemy_n 27._o and_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n and_o the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n and_o as_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v say_v thou_o shall_v not_o only_o come_v against_o they_o that_o be_v thy_o enemy_n and_o cause_v they_o to_o fly_v away_o but_o thou_o shall_v thresh_v they_o behold_v say_v the_o lord_n i_o will_v make_v thou_o a_o thresh_a instrument_n and_o not_o a_o dull_a one_o neither_o but_o a_o new_a one_o yea_o a_o sharp_a one_o have_v tooth_n or_o mouth_n to_o grate_v they_o withal_o thou_o shall_v thresh_v they_o what_o shall_v thou_o thresh_v the_o mountain_n yea_o the_o mountain_n thy_o enemy_n the_o land_n itself_o thou_o shall_v thresh_v those_o mountain_n &_o beat_v they_o small_a and_o make_v the_o hill_n as_o chaff_n not_o small_a but_o great_a and_o strong_a enemy_n shall_v thowse_v thus_o 16._o thou_o shall_v fan_v they_o and_o the_o wind_n which_o none_o know_v whence_o it_o come_v or_o whither_o it_o go_v that_o wind_n shall_v carry_v they_o away_o yea_o that_o whirlwind_n the_o most_o dreadful_a of_o wind_n and_o the_o most_o quick_a and_o fierce_a shall_v scatter_v they_o and_o what_o shall_v be_v the_o issue_n of_o all_o this_o thou_o shall_v rejoice_v in_o the_o lord_n &_o shall_v glory_v in_o the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n he_o do_v not_o say_v thou_o shall_v glory_v in_o thy_o victory_n over_o those_o enemy_n in_o what_o thou_o have_v do_v or_o the_o like_a no_o thou_o shall_v glory_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o rejoice_v in_o he_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n go_v on_o to_o prevent_v all_o the_o objection_n of_o his_o servant_n well_o suppose_v all_o enemy_n be_v destroy_v what_o be_v this_o if_o i_o die_v for_o thirst_n etc._n etc._n well_o say_v the_o lord_n to_o prevent_v this_o when_o the_o poor_a and_o needy_a seek_v water_n i.e._n seek_v soul-refreshment_n as_o well_o as_o victory_n over_o enemy_n and_o they_o find_v none_o and_o their_o tongue_n fail_v for_o thirst_n intimate_v the_o depth_n of_o want_n and_o extremity_n of_o thirst_n yet_o than_o i_o the_o lord_n will_v hear_v they_o i.e._n when_o they_o be_v hardly_o able_a to_o cry_v unto_o i_o but_o be_v even_o ready_a to_o give_v up_o than_o i_o will_v hear_v the_o very_a groan_n of_o their_o heart_n and_o i_o the_o god_n of_o israel_n will_v not_o forsake_v they_o though_o they_o be_v bring_v into_o that_o condition_n that_o they_o can_v hardly_o speak_v because_o their_o tongue_n fail_v yet_o i_o will_v not_o forsake_v they_o 18._o but_o i_o will_v open_v the_o river_n in_o high_a place_n they_o shall_v have_v abundance_n and_o they_o shall_v have_v it_o in_o the_o most_o unlikely_a way_n river_n in_o the_o high_a place_n and_o fountain_n in_o the_o valley_n all_o as_o it_o be_v by_o contrary_n yea_o i_o will_v make_v the_o wilderness_n and_o the_o dry_a land_n pool_n and_o spring_n of_o water_n which_o be_v even_o a_o miracle_n which_o i_o will_v rather_o work_v then_o those_o poor_a soul_n shall_v not_o be_v satisfy_v 19_o i_o will_v plant_v in_o the_o wilderness_n the_o cedar_n and_o the_o myrtle_n tree_n i_o will_v set_v in_o the_o desert_n the_o fir_n tree_n the_o pine_n and_o the_o box_n tree_n thing_n very_o rare_a and_o wonderful_a 20._o and_o this_o shall_v be_v that_o they_o may_v see_v know_v consider_v and_o understand_v hearty_a expression_n that_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v this_o &_o the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n create_v it_o as_o if_o he_o have_v say_v shall_v i_o do_v this_o great_a work_n in_o a_o ordinary_a way_n and_o by_o ordinary_a mean_n they_o will_v not_o see_v so_o much_o of_o the_o power_n of_o god_n in_o it_o but_o that_o they_o may_v see_v it_o be_v a_o create_v or_o create_a work_n therefore_o will_v i_o do_v it_o in_o this_o unusual_a way_n isaiah_n 42._o v._o 1._o where_o the_o lord_n show_v to_o what_o end_n he_o give_v our_o lord_n jesus_n 4._o as_o also_o how_o glorious_o he_o will_v be_v with_o he_o and_o support_v he_o in_o his_o work_n 6._o and_o first_o he_o say_v he_o give_v he_o to_o be_v a_o covenant_n or_o the_o covenant_n and_o that_o to_o the_o gentile_n yea_o 7._o to_o be_v a_o light_n to_o they_o to_o open_v the_o blind_a eye_n and_o loose_v the_o prisoner_n out_o of_o the_o pison-house_n he_o confirm_v it_o with_o a_o declaration_n of_o his_o own_o glorious_a name_n 8._o i_o be_o the_o lord_n oh_o therefore_o sing_v to_o the_o lord_n a_o new_a song_n praise_v he_o through_o the_o earth_n you_o that_o go_v down_o into_o the_o sea_n you_o that_o be_v as_o the_o wilderness_n i.e._n though_o never_o so_o desolate_a or_o in_o great_a danger_n however_o do_v you_o praise_v he_o 16._o then_o he_o add_v glorious_a promise_n to_o bring_v the_o blind_a by_o the_o way_n that_o they_o know_v not_o to_o lead_v they_o in_o the_o path_n they_o have_v not_o know_v to_o make_v darkness_n light_a before_o they_o &_o crooked_a thing_n straight_o yea_o to_o do_v all_o this_o and_o with_o all_o add_v i_o will_v not_o forsake_v they_o 17._o but_o they_o shall_v be_v great_o ashamed_a say_v the_o lord_n that_o will_v now_o trust_v in_o any_o thing_n beside_o i_o and_o so_o make_v a_o god_n of_o it_o when_o as_o i_o do_v all_o this_o for_o my_o people_n 19_o then_o the_o lord_n seem_v as_o it_o be_v sad_o to_o lament_v
of_o encouragement_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v say_v you_o shall_v see_v that_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o this_o work_n that_o i_o will_v not_o only_o do_v it_o but_o i_o great_o desire_v to_o do_v it_o and_o therefore_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o forget_v it_o yet_o i_o give_v you_o this_o liberty_n and_o freedom_n to_o come_v and_o put_v i_o in_o remembrance_n nay_o i_o lay_v it_o as_o a_o law_n of_o love_n upon_o you_o that_o you_o do_v thus_o come_v and_o mind_v i_o of_o it_o put_v i_o in_o remembrance_n let_v we_o plead_v together_o oh_o the_o admirable_a condescension_n in_o this_o high_a god_n who_o have_v so_o much_o power_n as_o he_o have_v before_o express_v that_o he_o can_v work_v and_o none_o can_v let_v it_o and_o yet_o will_v suffer_v his_o poor_a worm_n to_o plead_v with_o he_o about_o the_o begin_n of_o this_o five_o month_n there_o be_v these_o hint_n give_v i_o and_o hope_n from_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o do_v not_o yet_o know_v but_o i_o may_v take_v as_o a_o answer_n to_o several_a petition_n put_v up_o to_o he_o as_o first_o that_o i_o have_v not_o live_v answerable_a to_o that_o counsel_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o hand_n out_o to_o i_o by_o mr._n cradock_n i.e._n not_o to_o speak_v evil_a of_o any_o one_o or_o other_o behind_o their_o back_n but_o i_o have_v often_o cry_v out_o to_o other_o not_o to_o themselves_o of_o the_o pride_n of_o this_o body_n and_o that_o body_n and_o the_o passion_n of_o this_o or_o that_o person_n and_o yet_o behold_v how_o sad_o it_o reign_v in_o myself_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n righteous_o suffer_v it_o in_o i_o and_o show_v i_o the_o evil_a and_o folly_n of_o it_o behold_v the_o mote_n in_o another_o eye_n and_o behold_v a_o beam_n in_o my_o own_o at_o this_o time_n also_o be_v that_o bring_v to_o my_o hand_n in_o jam._n 1._o 2_o 6._o if_o any_o man_n among_o you_o seem_v to_o be_v religious_a and_o bridle_v not_o his_o tongue_n but_o deceive_v his_o own_o heart_n this_o man_n religion_n be_v in_o vain_a a_o sad_a word_n also_o in_o the_o 4._o 5._o 6._o verse_n of_o this_o same_o chapter_n 4._o but_o let_v patience_n have_v her_o perfect_a work_n that_o you_o may_v be_v perfect_a and_o entire_a want_v nothing_o 5._o if_o any_o of_o you_o lack_v wisdom_n let_v he_o ask_v it_o of_o god_n that_o give_v to_o all_o man_n liberal_o and_o upbraid_v not_o and_o it_o shall_v be_v give_v he_o 6._o but_o let_v he_o â—sk_v in_o faith_n nothing_o waver_v for_o he_o that_o waver_v be_v like_o a_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n drive_v with_o the_o wind_n and_o toss_v a_o gracious_a promise_n to_o those_o that_o lack_v wisdom_n and_o ask_v it_o and_o in_o the_o 4._o ch_z of_o jam._n v._n 2_o 3_o you_o ask_v and_o receive_v not_o because_o you_o ask_v amiss_o that_o you_o may_v consume_v it_o upon_o your_o lust_n and_o true_o what_o do_v i_o know_v but_o that_o the_o lord_n do_v suffer_v this_o lust_n as_o he_o do_v the_o canaanite_n of_o old_a to_o trouble_v the_o israelite_n so_o this_o lust_n to_o humble_v i_o and_o prove_v i_o and_o know_v or_o make_v i_o to_o know_v what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n o_o my_o soul_n how_o have_v thou_o need_v then_o to_o set_v all_o the_o force_n of_o thy_o soul_n a_o against_o this_o bitter_a root_n of_o pride_n which_o for_o aught_o i_o know_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o other_o evil_n o_o the_o way_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v take_v to_o pluck_v up_o this_o root_n out_o of_o thy_o heart_n have_v not_o all_o thy_o affliction_n of_o inward_a and_o outward_a man_n be_v direct_v as_o it_o be_v against_o this_o sin_n what_o delight_n else_o have_v the_o almighty_a to_o lay_v sickness_n and_o weakness_n upon_o thou_o why_o do_v he_o think_v thou_o permit_v all_o the_o mock_n and_o jeer_v thou_o daily_o meet_v with_o why_o it_o be_v for_o that_o continue_v work_v up_o of_o thy_o pride_n notwithstanding_o all_o his_o deal_n with_o thou_o to_o pull_v down_o when_o thou_o be_v lift_v up_o too_o much_o so_o that_o thou_o may_v thank_v thy_o own_o pride_n for_o all_o some_o hint_n from_o the_o lord_n at_o mr._n thorn_n about_o the_o end_n of_o the_o 5_o month_n 1654._o which_o i_o know_v not_o but_o may_v be_v a_o answer_n of_o former_a petition_n may-be_a thou_o will_v honour_v god_n in_o one_o way_n and_o condition_n and_o he_o will_v have_v thou_o to_o honour_v he_o in_o another_o yea_o may-be_a he_o will_v have_v thou_o honour_v he_o by_o live_v by_o faith_n roll_v upon_o he_o for_o the_o subdue_a of_o thy_o corruption_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n will_v be_v honour_v by_o continual_a struggle_a and_o fight_v with_o they_o o_o my_o soul_n have_v thou_o not_o often_o yea_o oh_o how_o often_o tempt_v the_o lord_n sad_o concern_v this_o and_o the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v the_o last_o after_o many_o solemn_a resolution_n and_o promise_n unto_o the_o lord_n never_o to_o provoke_v he_o thus_o any_o more_o and_o yet_o to_o do_v it_o again_o yea_o may_v not_o the_o lord_n do_v this_o even_a in_o answer_n to_o prayer_n thou_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o that_o morning_n to_o give_v and_o order_v all_o thy_o word_n and_o action_n that_o day_n oh_o that_o god_n will_v at_o last_o make_v thou_o wise_a and_o so_o order_v thy_o spirit_n and_o subdue_v this_o rise_n of_o corruption_n so_o as_o thou_o may_v never_o more_o provoke_v he_o in_o this_o kind_n upon_o the_o 6_o of_o this_o 6_o month_n 1654._o the_o lorddrew_n out_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o morning_n to_o seek_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o bow_v down_o and_o appear_v glorious_o and_o gracious_o to_o and_o through_o his_o servant_n mr_n knight_n who_o have_v but_o the_o day_n before_o at_o fulham_n chappel_n so_o exceed_o press_v we_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o he_o which_o wrought_v upon_o my_o heart_n great_o to_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o may_v find_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o his_o people_n on_o his_o behalf_n as_o also_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o other_o that_o do_v appear_v to_o meet_v that_o morning_n may_v have_v a_o gracious_a visit_n from_o he_o that_o none_o of_o all_o my_o unfittness_n to_o attend_v upon_o he_o or_o unfruitfullness_n under_o former_a appearance_n may_v hinder_v his_o gracious_a presence_n with_o and_o to_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n but_o that_o though_o there_o be_v nothing_o in_o i_o to_o move_v he_o to_o it_o yet_o that_o he_o will_v do_v it_o for_o his_o own_o name_n and_o glory_n sake_n that_o my_o soul_n may_v have_v such_o a_o light_n of_o he_o as_o may_v conform_v i_o more_o and_o more_o to_o he_o and_o how_o gracious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o bow_v down_o this_o day_n as_o a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n &_o that_o first_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o his_o servant_n mr_n knight_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v this_o day_n in_o his_o name_n how_o glorious_o do_v he_o appear_v not_o only_o through_o his_o poor_a worm_n but_o even_o in_o he_o also_o great_o draw_v out_o his_o heart_n both_o in_o prayer_n &_o preach_v in_o prayer_n and_o therein_o beg_v of_o god_n in_o the_o entrance_n of_o his_o service_n his_o presence_n and_o mighty_o in_o a_o way_n of_o faith_n roll_v upon_o he_o for_o a_o answer_n of_o prayer_n even_o at_o this_o present_a season_n the_o 27_o of_o this_o 6_o month_n be_v the_o lord_n day_n and_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dead_a and_o cold_a all_o the_o week_n and_o also_o now_o very_o unprepared_a to_o meet_v the_o lord_n or_o expect_v any_o appearance_n at_o all_o from_o he_o i_o do_v yet_o in_o a_o few_o short_a desire_n present_v my_o request_n to_o he_o bege_v his_o mighty_a presence_n unvail_v the_o lord_n jesus_n both_o to_o and_o through_o his_o servant_n to_o our_o poor_a soul_n beseech_v he_o also_o that_o i_o may_v have_v a_o clear_a sight_n of_o his_o goodness_n in_o it_o and_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o appear_v a_o god_n nay_o and_o not_o a_o god_n a_o far_o off_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o my_o poor_a soul_n have_v find_v he_o to_o be_v so_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o unfitness_n and_o unworthiness_n beseech_v he_o even_o now_o to_o make_v it_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o he_o be_v a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n and_o that_o he_o will_v give_v my_o soul_n a_o very_a glorious_a sight_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n and_o not_o only_o discover_v he_o to_o i_o but_o cause_n these_o discovery_n to_o work_v with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n real_o take_v it_o off_o from_o all_o other_o thing_n whatsoever_o and_o fix_v it_o whole_o upon_o himself_o with_o many_o other_o request_n of_o this_o
those_o that_o be_v his_o subject_n from_o whence_o we_o be_v far_o exhort_v to_o look_v out_o what_o it_o be_v that_o we_o have_v that_o be_v everlasting_a tell_v we_o that_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o estate_n and_o the_o like_a they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a they_o and_o you_o must_v part_v oh_o therefore_o do_v not_o reckon_v these_o everlasting_a but_o if_o you_o have_v a_o christ_n or_o grace_n etc._n etc._n that_o shall_v be_v everlasting_a if_o god_n have_v begin_v any_o good_a work_n in_o your_o soul_n that_o shall_v be_v everlasting_a your_o infirmity_n weakness_n corruption_n they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a they_o shall_v die_v and_o wither_v and_o satan_n shall_v short_o be_v tread_v under_o your_o foot_n though_o satan_n and_o sin_n have_v domineer_v and_o make_v a_o stir_n in_o thy_o soul_n yet_o it_o shall_v not_o reign_v for_o ever_o there_o but_o grace_n shall_v reign_v by_o righteousness_n to_o eternal_a life_n therefore_o though_o your_o pain_n be_v great_a trouble_v sore_o temptation_n many_o yet_o know_v they_o be_v not_o everlasting_a and_o this_o may_v much_o comfort_v the_o saint_n yea_o if_o christ_n reign_v this_o may_v comfort_v the_o saint_n that_o their_o affliction_n shall_v pass_v only_o from_o christ_n not_o from_o the_o son_n of_o man_n not_o from_o the_o world_n nor_o satan_n nor_o the_o law_n without_o he_o no_o nor_o the_o restless_a motion_n of_o your_o heart_n that_o often_o misgive_v and_o terrify_v you_o your_o judgement_n shall_v pass_v from_o christ_n who_o throne_n be_v for_o ever_o and_o ever_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o abundant_o have_v the_o lord_n bow_v down_o to_o refresh_v as_o well_o as_o convince_v thou_o this_o day_n the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v abide_v upon_o thy_o spirit_n and_o help_v thou_o to_o live_v continual_o to_o his_o praise_n the_o 29._o of_o this_o 9_o month_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o speak_v some_o seasonable_a word_n that_o may_v be_v for_o my_o spiritual_a advantage_n and_o true_o though_o i_o be_v disappoint_v of_o he_o that_o i_o expect_v to_o hear_v yet_o do_v the_o lord_n by_o our_o btother_n lemall_a hand_n out_o a_o most_o seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v may_v abide_v which_o be_v not_o to_o quench_v the_o spirit_n which_o the_o lord_n do_v real_o convince_v i_o that_o i_o have_v often_o do_v even_o of_o late_a which_o i_o desire_v the_o lord_n will_v help_v i_o against_o and_o make_v this_o a_o bless_a word_n to_o the_o end_n unto_o my_o soul_n the_o 30._o day_n of_o this_o 9_o month_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n that_o morning_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o and_o to_o manifest_v his_o presence_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n through_o his_o word_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o bless_a season_n wherein_o my_o soul_n may_v enjoy_v communion_n with_o himself_o and_o that_o to_o that_o end_n he_o will_v please_v to_o remove_v out_o of_o my_o soul_n whatever_o may_v make_v i_o unfit_a to_o meet_v with_o he_o desire_v much_o in_o my_o heart_n and_o endeavour_v to_o express_v it_o before_o the_o lord_n that_o my_o heart_n may_v once_o be_v gather_v out_o from_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o fix_v only_o upon_o himself_o and_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o there_o may_v be_v something_o add_v to_o this_o work_n this_o day_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v both_o for_o thy_o conviction_n and_o comfort_n in_o send_v his_o messenger_n as_o if_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n with_o a_o errand_n from_o heaven_n to_o my_o soul_n it_o be_v a_o strange_a that_o preach_v this_o day_n and_o the_o subject_a he_o be_v upon_o be_v the_o loveliness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n canticle_n 5._o 16._o he_o be_v altogether_o lovely_a whence_o he_o full_o clear_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o below_o christ_n that_o can_v be_v lovely_a or_o desirable_a and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v desire_v it_o be_v abundant_o in_o he_o from_o whence_o the_o lord_n do_v real_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o folly_n in_o suffer_v of_o my_o affection_n to_o run_v out_o so_o strong_o on_o such_o vain_a object_n and_o so_o little_a on_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o in_o the_o close_a speak_v by_o way_n of_o comfort_n he_o have_v this_o passage_n that_o when_o ever_o any_o poor_a soul_n do_v come_v into_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o prayer_n or_o hear_v or_o any_o ordinance_n with_o a_o desire_n to_o have_v such_o a_o corruption_n mortify_v though_o for_o end_n best_a know_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o may_v for_o the_o present_a suffer_v it_o in_o he_o yet_o will_v he_o record_v it_o in_o heaven_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v mortify_v for_o say_v he_o it_o be_v in_o the_o desire_n of_o that_o poor_a soul_n and_o though_o i_o suffer_v it_o yet_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o if_o the_o soul_n have_v mortify_v it_o real_o and_o so_o for_o all_o other_o gracious_a desire_n the_o lord_n look_v upon_o they_o as_o he_o and_z as_o do_v though_o never_o attain_v as_o he_o do_v abraham_n offering_n up_o his_o son_n isaac_n and_o therefore_o he_o leave_v it_o upon_o record_n to_o posterity_n that_o he_o do_v offer_v he_o up_o though_o yet_o he_o do_v not_o do_v it_o because_o it_o be_v in_o his_o heart_n and_o intent_n to_o do_v it_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n prevent_v which_o together_o with_o many_o other_o precious_a hint_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o leave_v with_o i_o this_o day_n which_o i_o beseech_v he_o to_o bless_v i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o improve_v they_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n the_o second_o day_n of_o this_o 10._o month_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v if_o he_o see_v meet_v to_o add_v one_o other_o day_n to_o i_o to_o vouchsafe_v his_o face_n and_o presence_n to_o i_o and_o give_v my_o soul_n some_o sight_n of_o he_o and_o prepare_v my_o heart_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o empty_v out_o of_o it_o what_o ever_o may_v unfit_a i_o to_o come_v before_o he_o after_o which_o there_o fall_v a_o great_a damp_n upon_o my_o spirit_n consider_v that_o i_o have_v only_o in_o a_o formality_n seek_v this_o of_o he_o but_o can_v not_o expect_v that_o he_o shall_v continue_v always_o so_o gracious_o to_o a_o poor_a soul_n as_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o be_v such_o a_o unworthy_a unfruitful_a creature_n that_o do_v so_o little_o improve_v all_o his_o appearance_n but_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n break_v through_o all_o thy_o unbelief_n and_o go_v beyond_o all_o thy_o expectation_n in_o provide_v a_o most_o bless_a glorious_a and_o seasonable_a word_n for_o thy_o soul_n answer_v the_o desire_n of_o thy_o heart_n also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v in_o his_o name_n this_o day_n shine_a forth_o glorious_o in_o and_o through_o he_o insomuch_o that_o himself_o do_v bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n that_o day_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o oh_o that_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o can_v bless_v his_o holy_a name_n oh_o the_o sensible_a truth_n that_o be_v hint_v to_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n which_o i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n i_o may_v never_o forget_v which_o be_v hint_v from_o psal_n 45._o 7._o from_o which_o our_o pastor_n sweet_o open_v the_o love_n of_o christ_n to_o righteousness_n which_o love_n he_o show_v we_o be_v that_o that_o make_v he_o lovely_a to_o god_n and_o to_o his_o saint_n now_o that_o he_o do_v love_n as_o he_o show_v we_o appear_v in_o that_o this_o love_n to_o it_o be_v his_o very_a nature_n and_o therefore_o he_o be_v call_v the_o righteous_a and_o the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n yea_o it_o appear_v in_o that_o he_o have_v through_o all_o kind_n of_o difficulty_n fulfil_v all_o righteousness_n therefore_o with_o desire_n i_o have_v desire_v say_v he_o to_o eat_v this_o passover_n that_o so_o he_o may_v be_v ready_a to_o suffer_v and_o so_o to_o satisfy_v divine_a justice_n which_o be_v one_o part_n of_o his_o fulfil_a righteousness_n yea_o he_o show_v that_o he_o love_v righteousness_n in_o that_o salvation_n that_o he_o have_v wrought_v for_o we_o merit_v by_o a_o full_a satisfaction_n to_o justice_n that_o so_o justice_n may_v glory_v in_o our_o salvation_n as_o well_o as_o mercy_n for_o however_o wereceive_v all_o by_o grace_n yet_o christ_n wrought_v it_o out_o by_o justice_n and_o pay_v a_o full_a price_n for_o it_o which_o show_v his_o love_n to_o righteousness_n and_o justice_n so_o that_o what_o ever_o god_n have_v promise_v believer_n in_o his_o word_n it_o be_v a_o merit_a promise_n that_o christ_n have_v buy_v and_o pay_v