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A05338 Englandes bright honour shining through the darke disgrace of Spaines Catholicon. Seruing as a cleare lantherne, to giue light to the whole world, to guide them by; and let them see, the darke and crooked packing, of Spaine, and Spanish practises. Discoursed in most excellent and learned satires, or briefe and memorable notes, in forme of chronicle. Read, but understand; and then iudge.; Satire Menipée de la vertu du Catholicon d'Espagne. English. T. W. (Thomas Wilcox), 1549?-1608, attributed name.; Leroy, Pierre, Canon of Rouen.; T. W., fl. 1573-1595. 1602 (1602) STC 15490; ESTC S104018 162,351 210

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receiued in their place Vices in playes but the more wise and wittie Poets vsed them to content therewithall their owne bad spirit of euill speaking which some of them thought to bee the chiefe goodnes And there are great numbers of them found in our countrie of Parresie who loue rather to lose a good friend then a good word or a merrie iest applied well to the purpose Wherfore it is not without cause that they haue intituled this little discourse by the name Satyre though that it be written in prose being yet notwithstanding stuffed and stored with gallant Ironies pricking notwithstanding and biting the very bottome of the consciences of them that feele themselues nipped therewithall concerning whom it speaketh nothing but trueth but on the other side making those to burst with laughter that haue innocent hearts and are well assured that they haue not strayed from the good right way As concerning the adiectiue Menippized it is not new or vnusuall for it is more then sixteene hundred yeares agoe that Varro called by Quintillian and by S. Augustine the most skilfull amongst the Romanes made Satyres of this name also which Macrobius sayth were called Cyniquized and Menippized to which he gaue that name because of Menippus the Cynicall Philosopher who also had made the like before him al ful of salted iestings poudred merie conceits of good words to make men to laugh and to discouer the vicious mē of his time And Varro imitating him did the like in prose as since his time there hath done the like Petronius Arbiter Luciā in the Greek tongue since his time Apuleius and in our age that good fellow R●belaiz who hath passed all other men in contradicting others and pleasant conceits if hee would cut off from them some quodlibetarie speeches in tauernes and his salt and biting words in alehouses Wherefore I cannot tell what manner of men these daintie ones are that thinke some doe euill that according to the example of these great personages ment to giue vnto a like worke a like title vnto that of theirs which is now become common and as we say appellatiue whereas before it was proper and particular as not long time since a learned Flemming and a good Antiquarian hath vsed the same And this is al that I can tell you in this respect If you desire any other thing I will tell you my aduise or opinion Then sayd I vnto him I am sufficiently satisfied as touching the title but there is very great disputation amongst some what the author should meane by these tearmes Higuiero of hell for there are very many persons that knowe not what it meaneth and make thereof sundrie horned and ill fauoured interpretations such as in my minde the author himselfe neuer thought of I knowe very well sayd he that there are diuers that desire to play about the affinitie of the words some to make themselues merrie therewith and others to draw the author into enuie but there is much oddes betweene eight and eighteene and a great difference betweene breathing and whistling I haue heard my cousin a hundred times say and I knowe it also as well as hee that Higuiero of hell signifieth no other thing in the Castillian or Spanish tongue but the Figge tree of hell For the Spanyards as also the Gascoignes turne the F into H as hazer harina hijo hogo higo for faire that is to do farine meale fils a sonne feu fire figue a figge And this at this time is but too common in Paris where the women haue learned to speake as well as to doe after the Spanish manner Where he sayth then that the drugge of the Spanish Iugler or Apothecarie was called Higuiero of hell it is for diuers reasons First because the figge tree is a wicked and an infamous tree the leaues whereof as we may see in the Bible haue serued heretofore to couer the priuie parts of our first parents after that they had sinned and committed high treason against their God their father and creator euen as the Leaguers to couer their disobedience and ingratitude against their King and him that hath done thē all good haue taken the Catholigue Apostoligue and Romane religion and thinke therewith to hide their shame and sinne This is the cause also why the Catholicon of Spayne that is to say the pretext which the King of Spayne and the Iesuites and other preachers wonne by the double duckets of Spayne haue giuen to the seditious and ambitious Leaguers to rebell against their naturall and lawfull King and to fall away from him and to make in their owne countrie warre more dangerous than ciuill may very properly bee called the Figge tree of hell in steed that that wherewith Adam and Eue did couer their open sinne was the Figge tree of Paradise And euer since that time this tree hath alwaies been accursed and of euill name amongst men bearing neither flowers nor any buddes nor any thing els to garnish it withall and the very fruite it selfe hath from thence been drawne to name the most dishonest part of women and the most filthie and foule disease that breedeth in the parts that wee cannot well name You are not ignorant of this also that the ancient people did account this tree amongst the gibbets or gallowses as for example whē Timon the Athenian would haue plucked vp one of them that did him some anoyance in his garden and whereupon sundrie had in former time been hanged he caused to bee proclaimed with the sound of a trumpet that if any were willing to be hanged he should dispatch and come thither quickly because he ment to cause it to bee pulled vp by the rootes Plinie teacheth vs that this tree hath not any sent or sauor no more hath the League Againe that it easily casteth her fruite and so hath the League done that it receiueth all manner of corruptions as the League hath receiued all sortes of people and that it doth not last or liue long no more hath the League done and that the greatest part of the fruite which appeareth at the beginning neuer commeth to ripenes no more hath that of the League But that which yet better agreeth with it and hath many more conformities with the League than S. Frauncis hath with our Lord is the Figge tree of the Indies which the very Spanyards themselues haue named the Figge tree of hell Concerning which Mathiolus sayth thus much for truth that if a man cut but onely one leafe from it and set but the one halfe thereof within the ground it will take roote there and afterwards vpon that lease there will growe an other leafe and so leaues growing vpon leaues this plant becommeth hie as it were a tree without bodie stalke branches and as it were without rootes in so much that we may reckon it amongst the miracles of nature Is there any thing so like and so much resembling the League which of one leafe that is
them better shall returne to the right way We will haue no more of these horseleaches exacters and greedie guttes we will remoue these foule and shamefull imposts which they haue deuised in the towne house set vpō the moueables and free marchandise that come into the good townes where there are committed a thousand abuses and disorders the profite whereof redoundeth not to the publik good but vnto them that manage the money and giue it away cheek by iole as we say and without discretion Wee will haue no more of these caterpillers that sucke gnaw the fairest floures of the garden of France Notable comparisons and resemblances and paint themselues with diuers colours and become in a moment of little wormes that creepe vpon the ground great butterflies flying painted with gold and azure wee will cut off the shamelesse number of treasurers that make their owne benefite of the taxes of the people and turne to their owne vse the best and the last pennie of the treasure and with the rest cut and lash out at their pleasure to distribute it to them onely from whō they hope to receiue the like and inuent a thousand elegant and fine termes to shew the neede of the state It is not alone in France but it may be foūd elswhere and to refuse to shew curtesie or fauour to an honorable person We will haue no more so many gouernours that play the little Kinges or wrens rather and boast that they are rich enough when they haue a peece of a riuer of sixe foote long and large at their commaundement We wil be exempted from their tyrannies and exactions and we wil bee no more subiect to watchings and wardings and night scouts in which we lose the halfe of our time and consume our best age and get nothing but catarrhes reumes and diseases that ouerthrow our health Do it and doe wel We wil haue a King who shall giue order to all shal keep all these pettie tyrants in fear duetie that shal chastice the violēt that shal punish the stubborne that shal roote out thieues and robbers that shall cut off the winges of the ambitious that shall cause these spunges and thieues of the common treasures to cast their gorge that shal make euery one to remaine in the boundes of his office and shall keepe all the worlde in peace and tranquillitie To be short wee will haue a King A fable but yet applied to good purpose that so wee may haue peace but yet we will not doe as the frogges did that waxing weary of their peaceable King chose the storke who deuoured them all We demaund a King and a naturall head not an artificiall a King alreadie made and not to be made If you doe wo to you and therein we will not take the counsell of the Spaniards our olde and ancient enemies who by force would become our tutors and teach vs to beleeue in God and in the christian faith in which they are not baptized and haue not known it past three daies We will not haue for Counsellors and Phisitians those of Lorraine who of a long time haue breathed and thirst after our death The King that wee demaund is alreadie made by nature borne in the very plot of ground of the floure deluce of Fraunce a right branch and flourishing and springing from the right stalke of Saint Lewes They that speake of making an other deceiue themselues know not therein how to come to an end Men may make scepters and crownes but not Kings to weare them and beare them Men may make an house but not a tree or a greene bough Nature must needes bring it foorth in time out of the iuice and marrowe of the earth that maintaineth the stalke in her bloud and vigor A man may make a legge of wood an arme of yron a nose of siluer but yet not a head So we may make Marshals Peeres Admirals Secretaries and Counsellors of estate and that in grosse also and many at one time as wee say but yet not a King He alone must spring onely from himself that so he may haue life and lustines in him That one eyed fellowe Bourcher A familiar example and ●et from a bad person the pettie schoolemaster of the most wicked and lewd people of this citie and land wil confesse vnto you that his eye enammeled with the gold of Spayne seeth not any thing Euen so an elected and artificiall King should neuer bee able to see vs and so he should bee not onely blind in our affayres but also deafe insensible vnmoueable in our complaints And this is the cause why wee will not heare speech neither of the daughter of Spayne whom we leaue to her father If he can doe any thing against them nor of the Archduke Ernestus whom wee recommend to the Turkes and to Duke Maurice nor of the Duke of Lorraine or of his eldest sonne whom wee will leaue to treate of the matter with the Duke of Bouillon and with them of Strausbourgh nor of the Duke of Sauoy Yea shame him also in the warres against him whō we put ouer to the Lord of Diguieres that doth not much helpe him That fellowe should bee content with this that by fraude and treason he hath taken from vs the Marquesdome of Saluces in danger to yeeld it very quickly and that twise told if we may haue but a little time to take our breathe in In the meane season he shall haue this fauour to call himselfe King of Cypres and to draw his antiquitie out of Saxonie A fine ●rump but France is not a morsell for his mouth how double footed and large mouthed soeuer he be no more then Geneua Genes Finall Monaco and the Figons which haue alwaies giuen him the figge or garbumble as we say Besides he will make a goodly molehill and a braue shew indeed He meaneth King Philips daughter with the disdainfull highnes of the daughter he hath maried who will serue rather to ouerthrowe him with expence and sumptuous pride thē to make him waxe great Concerning the Duke de Nemours for whom the Baron of Tenecay hath remembrances and instructions by which he mindes to make him more worthie to bee preferred then the Duke of Guise we would counsell him for the good he hath done vs by freeing vs from warre and for his valiant deedes Scoffe on and that drily standing I tell you vpon very good proofe if he be well there where he is that he hold him there and keepe him from the beast I will say nothing touching the Duke of Guise Monsieur the Lieutenant shall speake for himselfe You may trust him therein but in nothing els and he will commend himselfe to his sister But so it is that these robbers and theeues of the kingdome are neither fit nor sufficient nor seruing for our taste to command vs besides we minde to keepe our ancient lawes