but like rotten shining wood many that have had lamps in their hands have had them blown out for lack of oyl Many have seemed like corn fresh and flourishing but proved like that on the stony ground or on the house-top never came to maturity when the winde turns they soon kick up their profession and steal away from their colours or when the sun of persecution is up wither oh my soul promise not thy self great things in the world neither content thy self with small things for eternity be as serious for grace as others are for gold and make as sure for heaven as others do for the world if thou wilt plant let it be in a better soil then maist thou expect a better encrease neither winde nor sun frost nor snow thunder nor lightning can blast or nip those flowers of paradice Lord take off my affection from the world and set them upon Christ then shall I never be disappointed of my hopes Upon leaves falling in Autumn 90. Med. WHen I observed in autumn after a nipping frost seconded by a gust of winde how fast the leaves fell from the trees that in a short time those that were cloathed in a lusty green began to look withered dead and dry and to put on their winter coat methought this resembled much our mortality when the autumn of age comes upon us these bodies of ours like leaves fall of themselves into deaths lap but seldom do they hang on so long some casual accident or other oft bears them down before they wither ofttimes some common calamity as the sword or pestilence or other contagious disease like a violent tempest doth bear all down before it two hundred thousand together in Ireland and very many in England death mowed down in a few days where they fell as leaves before the winde or as corn before the reapers hook it is noted that in one years space a hundred thousand fell in our chief city blown down by the blast of death and thus in all the world throughout men are swept away as with a sweeping storm some few are gathere in in a good old age but the most of men blown down while they are yet green the falling of these leaves did also seem to me to resemble the apostacy and downfall of hypocrites the house of whose profession is built upon the sand and cannot resist the winde and waves this is a foolish builder that neither sat down first to reckon the charges neither was at the cost to lay a firm foundation neither considered the rain would fall the windes blow and the flouds beat and overthrow his buildings they follow Christ as a dog follows his master tiâ—l he meets with carion and then turns him up as Orphah made a fair proffer of going along with Naomi but better considering returned back It is noted of the chesunt if it be not broken at the top when east into the fire it leaps out again so doth a hypocrite when he comes to be tried he is like a false jade in a teem which being put to a stress turns tail and tramples but the godly hold on and persist In the summer when the sun of the gospel shines upon them they hold on and look fresh and fragrant and seem to be not only members but pillars of the Church as the Apostles had a good opinion of Judas so that they rather mistrusted themselves then him and cryed out Master is it I so true believers rather mistrust themselves then those forward professors yet in persecuting times these fall as leaves before the winde and wither as the corn on the stony ground or that which grows upon the hose top and discover a fruitless bulk and withering root the stony ground received the word with joy and endured for a while but when the sun was up they were quickly offended Herod may hear the word gladly and endure for a time but being not sound at the heart he fals off a branch in a moist place though it have no root may for a while bud and leave but when heat comes will certainly wither and the leaves fall when Christianity is in credit many will cry Hosanah to the sun of David and when in contempt they will cry crucify a hypocrite will be catching at comforts as children do at sweet-meats ere they are soundly humbled and are stuffing themselves pillows with the promises that they may sin more securely when the Jews were in savour many turn Jews for fear of the Jews and when in danger their seeming friends prove their sorest enemies they are professors upon designe and they will be religious while religion suits their interest and promotes their advantage but when it hinders them they lay it aside as the workman doth the tool he needs not or will not serve his turn and takes another if profaness yea persecution serves his designe better he will make use of that if a few prayers or outside duties which are like to cost them little they are content to go to heaven this way but if it come to sufferings or forsaking any thing for Christ vadet Christus cum suo Evangelio let Christ go with his gospel and keep his heaven to himself for he will have none of it they will not buy heaven at so dear a rate The Gospel hath many swallow-friends which will be gone at the approach of winter when the corn is gone the rats leave the barn and when no secular advantage is in sight but rather storms appearing many professors will be no longer religious but Christ tells us he that loveth father or mother son or daughter more then him is not worthy of him Mat. 10.37 because he holdeth any one worthy of more love then Christ God will set no lower a rate on his son and glory he that will have this pearl must part with all Mat. 13.44.45 and he that doth so makes a good bargain we cannot buy this gold too dear or give too much for heaven and happiness he that thinks to grasp and hold both heaven and earth in the same hand and lodge them in the same heart may as well imagine he can reconcile fire and water and hide them together in the same bosome when two men walk together we know not whose servant it is that follows them but when they part the servant owns his own Master oh my soul take heed of dissembling with God that will not be mocked close with him and he will close with thee build upon the rock so shalt not thou be shaken and though at death thy body fall like a leaf yet thy root shall remain oh my God let me not deceive my self let me lay a good foundation then shall I stand in all storms Vpon a fruit-tree pelted with stones 91. Med. WHen I beheld a fruit-bearing-tree that was richly laden with the choisest fruit and perceiving that this tree above all the rest was preyed upon by the passengers for almost every one had a stick
Gomorrah their grapes are grapes of gall and the clusters are bitter Deut. 32.32 they hatch cockatrice eggs and weave the spiders webs vanity or villany is their trade Heb. 6.7 8. the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh off upon it and bringeth forth hearbs meet for them by whom it is dressed receiveth a blessing from God but that which beareth thorns and briars is rejected and is nigh unto cursing whose end is to be burned The fruitful Christian watered with the word and spirit bringing fortth a harvest of holiness and fruit-trees fit for meat were not to be destroyed Deut. 20.14 but fruitless trees are for the fire Mat. 3 10. But oh how much of this sterile barren ground is amongst us that resist all the offered means of their recovery and rave and rage against both the physitian and the physick and though often watered bring forth nothing but briars and thorns whereupon all the seed and all the rain that falls upon it is lost and when God expects fruit behold wilde fruit and yet this wilde and barren ground if well manured and God breathe upon it may prove good land this consideration made me with the servant in the Gospel cry out Lord spare them one year more that I may dig about them and dung them that it may not be my fault that they perish nor laid to my charge oh my soul art not thou this barren plot where nothing but briars and brambles can thrive or at least wise but little good fruit appear God hath done much for thee hedged thee about by his providence watered thee with the dew of heaven sent many of his servants to manure thee whence then this trash and rubbish whence then these tares and weeds was not good seed sown why hast thou not answered the great Husbandmans expectation what could God have done more for his Vineyard then he hath done for thee well look to it if thou remain fruitless ere long he will pluck up thy hedge pluck down thy wall take away thy fence and leave caring for thee and turn in the wilde boar to devour he will lay down his basket and take up his axe Oh the patience of a patient God! that hath born with thee for many years but will ere long if thou remain fruitless pronounce the sentence cut him down why cumbreth he the ground and if this be the danger of barren souls do what in thee lies to make others fruitfull also hereby saith Christ is my father glorified if ye bring forth much fruit Oh my God! Paul may plant and Apollo may water but thou givest the encrease 1 Cor. 3.6 The harp yeelds no sound till touched by the hand of the Musician and my heart will never be made good till thou strikest the stroak 't is God alone must say to dry bones live man can but speak to the ear but God speaks to the heart Lord speak home to my heart and the work will be done If means and ordinances would have served turn the work ere now would have been effected Lord leave me not to other husbandmen for they cannot make me fruitfull Oh be thou my Gardiner and my soul shall flourish blow upon thy spices and they will send forth a sweet savour Vpon the Propensity of the Earth to bring forth weeds 5. Med. VVHen I observed the natural propensity of the Earth to bring forth briars and thorns and weeds and thistles and such unprofitable trash and rubbish and that it brought forth fed and fostered those of its own accord without labour or pains or any help of man nay man without much labour and toil cannot destroy or keep them under but choice flowers profitable herbs wheat and rye and other usefull grain springs not up at so easie a rate there must be pains taken digging plowing harrowing setting sowing weeding fencing watering and a great deal more or no good crop can be expected This Observation made me think that this was the fruits of the curse laid upon the Earth for mans sake Gen. 3.17 Cursed be the ground for thy sake In sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee c. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread c. me thoughts the earth in this respect did much resemble a stepmother to the best seeds and choisest fruits but an own Mother to weeds and rubbish this she brings forth and brings up as her own the other she disowns but as she is hired or forc't and if she be not carefully watcht will either starve or choak them and she will suffer her own brats to eat the meat that should nourish them and suck her breasts till they are dry and they shall flourish while the other pine This raised up my Meditations a little higher and I thought the earth in this respect much resembled the world who will willingly nourish no children but her own and plays the stepmothers part with Gods children when the wicked which are her own brats are hug'd in her bosome if their father look not to them they are thrown to the walls if any be wronged it shall be them and if any want be they shall suffer the world loves her own Joh. 15 19. however dogs worry one another yet all agree against the trembling hare Herod and Pilate are made friends when Christ is to suffer and all wicked men are enemies to the power of godliness This propensity also of the earth to bring forth weeds and to starve the choisest plants made me think it resembled also the heart of man by nature which is a fruitful field for briars and brambles and the weeds of sin which grow there without planting but 't is barren of any thing that is good 't is hard to get a good motion a good inclination a good resolution to prosper in that soil but the heart naturally produceth evil thoughts wicked words and bad actions which are the usuall product it bringeth forth The hearb of grace must be planted by the finger of God and watered with the dew of heaven or it will not prosper most of the good seed sown there by the Preachers of the Word is lost and comes to nothing for either it falls among stones or thorns or by the high-way-side and so is choak't or starved or stole away and devoured except the heart be well manured and the nature of the soil changed except it be well fenc't and guarded yea watch't and observed nothing that is good will grow there 'T is not in vain that God bids us break up the fallow ground of our hearts and sow not among thorns Ier. 4.3 Hos 10.12 and God is fain to plow deep furrows by affliction before he can reach the roots of the weeds Oh my soul art not thou this earth that lyes under the curse where nothing but trash and rubbish thrives and prospers how comes it otherwise to passe that thou art
not of that number or otherwise thou wilt be reserved for the same condemnation O my God! such as these I was and such I had been hadst thou not made the difference and too much of that nature remains in me to this day Oh that thou wouldst throughly change me plant me into that noble Vine that I may bring forth better fruit yea purge me that I may bring forth more fruit Upon the diligence necessary to be used in a Garden 7. Med. VVHen I considered how much time and pains sweat and diligence is necessary to keep a garden in order and make it that it may answer the expectation of the owner what digging delving and manuring what planting setting sowing fencing weeding watering c. must be used and all little enough and perhaps too little to produce a good crop This Observation made me to reflect upon my own soul and to consider whether ever I had taken so much time or pains or been at so much cost for it the only garden God delights in and the chiefest I should look after as I have been for a little spot of earth here it is the herb of grace should grow and this should be a garden of spices Can. 4.10 This Consideration made me blush at my own folly when I considered how carefull I had been of a poor worthless piece of ground and had bestowed so much pains and cost upon it which yet yielded but a little pleasure and less profit and in the mean time neglected the soul which is of ten thousand times a greater concernment and when also I had considered the fruitfulness of my garden and the barrenness of my own heart I concluded had I bestowed as much time and pains in planting watering and fencing that as I have done in this garden it would have yielded better fruit then I can expect thence Well may I say with the Spouse Cant. 1.6 they made me keeper of the Vineyards but my own Vineyard I have not kept I have not taken Gods counsel Ier. 4.3 break up the fallow ground of your hearts and sow not among thorns and when I considered how unfruitful my heart was I concluded it had not been sufficiently humbled but the seed was sown among worldly cares and fears and discontents and those thorns had choaked it seeing no more fruit appears I considered therefore how needfull it was for God to plow long and deep furrows on my back by affliction that he might come to the root of the weeds and this same thing quieted me under some dark dispensations of providence I considered what a folly it was for a man that will not suffer a weed in his garden and yet will suffer the weeds of sin in his soul though they are far more pernitious to the herb of grace there planted then the most pestiferous weeds in the world can be to the choicest flowers and yet one reigning sin is a greater deformity to the soul then a thousand weeds can be to the fairest garden Oh my soul why art thou so prodigall of time and pains of cost and care of sweat and industry for a very trifle and in the mean time neglect thy greatest concerns thy self thy God and thy eternall happiness when didst thou take so much pains for heaven as thou hast done for the earth why art thou digging and delving in the earth as if happiness were hid under the clods when thou mayest be solacing thy self with thy God God hath not been wanting to thee but thou hast been wanting to thy self he gives thee time to run thy race when thou leavest thy way to run after butterflies which if thou take they will but foul thy fingers Thou hast been pruned and drest by many choice gardiners why yet art thou fruitless lay thy hands to the work tear up those weeds that hinder the flowers Dost thou expect happiness here below why else doth thy affection grovell upon the ground Will a handfull of herbs or a bosome full of flowers give thee content Oh what a poor happiness dost thou take up with Is there no better to be had serve a better master and thou shalt have better wages be a better husband and thy gains will be the greater and sow in a better soil and thou wilt have a better encrease Oh my God! what answer shall I return for all the pains and cost and time thou hast bestowed upon me O Lord how have I slighted thee O heaven how have I undervalued thee how have I suffered the world to bewitch me and steal away my heart from my God divert my thoughts rend my affection from these earthly vanities let me see more excellency in Christ then the world affords then shall I be as covetous for grace as others are for gold and take as much pains for heaven as ever I did for earth and be as zealous for God as others are for sin and improve my time for the spiritual advantage of my soul Upon Birds picking up the seed 8. Med. WHen I had sown my seed in the garden I perceived that which lay uncovered was made a prey to the fowls of the air who pickt it up and devoured it this brought to my minde our Saviours parable of the sower and the seed wherein he discovers the reason why though so much seed be sown so little fruit appears the fault is not in the seed for that is good the good word of God though sometimes the envious man may mix tares with it Neither is the fault always in the sower though sometimes it may for many of them are faithfull and painfull but for the most part it lyes in the ground in the heart where the seed should be entertained we finde here there was but one fourth part good and oh that the one tenth part of those that hear the word were really such some of the ground was high-way ground not fitted and prepared for a crop never plowed deep enough the seed indeed was sown upon it never in it it was never covered or harrowed by Meditation nor set out by consideration and therefore lyes liable to be pickt up by the wicked one who will be one at Church whoever is absent he makes a path-way over the heart and hardens it against the word this makes many so Sermon-trodden that they receive no impression some we finde was sown in stony places where it had little earth and less root these rejoice to hear it at present these have some meltings and some sudden pangs of joy but they are too violent to hold out and like a hasty rain slide away and soak not in and leave but a dew behinde them they are inlightned by a flash of lightning and not by the sun beams they are moved by some external principle as clocks or watches or other engines but the root of the matter is not in them and therefore withers away and comes to nothing like corn on the house-top for when persecution ariseth they are
seed fructify or one corn grow if God succeed not their endeavour oh the madness stupidity and egregious folly of Athiests that deny a diety and yet cannot make a fly or flea or the leaf of a tree without pre-existent matter nor put life into it when it is made nor know how it is done but many of them their lives are so debaucht that to still and quiet their inraged conscience they would fain race out and obliterate this principle imprinted in the soul by God himself viz. that there is a God but that there is no God they rather wish then believe but to return it is God that doth this work Mark 4.26 The Kingdom of heaven is as if a man should cast seed into the ground and should sleep and rise night and day and the seed should spring up and grow up he knows not how for the earth bringeth forth fruit of her self first the blade then the ear afterwards the full corn in the ear c. when we have done our duties we must rely upon God for the success and depend upon Gods providence if we cannot do it leave it to him that can let us do our part of the work and leave his part to him to do we cannot do his and he will not do ours it is our part to plow and sow and manure and till the ground out of which we were taken Gen. 2.15 but it is God that causeth it to fructifie and encrease he giveth us rain from heaven and fruitfull seasons filling our hearts with food and gladness Acts. 14.17 Diligence is our duty as the blessing upon it is his gift God placed no man upon the earth as he did Leviathan in the sea only to play therein but we are to work either with hand or head the thing that is good and in the sweat of our brow or brain we should eat our bread but when we have done all we must look higher for a blessing Deut. 28.12 the Lord shall open to thee his good treasure the heaven to give the rain unto the land in his season and to bless all the work of thy hand The stars are Gods store-houses which he opens for our profit and causeth them to pour out their influences upon the earth and thereby he scatters his riches to the world If we will cark and care about the event of things when we have done our endeavour no wonder if we faint under the burden if we take his part of the work upon us also no wonder if we truckle under it Now if his blessing be so necessary in temporals it is much more necessary in spirituals for none can make the soul fruitful but God do we not oft see the seed sown by the same hand and that it is watered by the same word yet it thrives in one field and not in another in one heart and not another why God causeth it to rain upon one field and not another and the field it raineth not on withered Amos. 4.7 those that live under the same Ministry sit in the same seat and have the same husbandry one remains barren the other fruitfull what is the cause but the north-wind and the south-wind the pleasant gales of the spirit blow upon one garden and not upon the other Cant. 4.16 when Christ was the preacher that which workt upon Peter workt not upon Judas not being made effectuall by God The springing of the seed also put me in minde of the resurrection the Apostle we finde illustrateth that point by this similitude 1 Cor. 15.35 36 37. but some will say how are the dead raised up and with what body do they come thou fool that which thou sowest is not quickned except it die and that which thou sowest thou sowest not that body that shall be but bare grain it may chance of wheat or of some other grain but God hath given it a body as it hath pleased him to every seed his own body the rotting of the body is but as the rotting of the seed in the ground that it may spring forth again with more vigour if God can say to this dead seed as sometime to the dry bones live why can he not say so to our dead bodies Is any thing too hard for the Almighty he that made them at the first of nothing can we imagine he cannot gather again together our scattered ashes and make it again into a body shall we think that to be impossible to God that seems hard to us if he say it shall be done shall we conclude it cannot be done Oh my soul use diligence both in thy general and particular calling but when thou hast done thy endeavour leave the success to God and not carkingly care nor doubtingly trouble thy self about the event and disquiet not thy self at what thou canst not help take not hâ—s work in hand lest thou canst not finish it leave not thy work undone for he will not do it diligence is thy duty yet promise not success to thy endeavours but depend upon him for a blessing if he give it bless him for it and let it more engage thy heart in his service if he deny it murmure not but wisely search out what was the cause some sin or other is pointed at in the suffering if thou finde it out remove the Achan and bless God for the providence it is better have a reformed heart then a full barn and as for spiritualls use diligence in the duties required but rest not in the work done if a blessing succeed let the Lord have his homage paid if that thou stand at a stay it is a signe some obstruction is between the head and heart that hinders the work rest not till it be removed if thou meet God in his ordinance bless his name for it if he absent himself let no duty please thee rest not till thou hast recovered sight of him as for the resurrection call not that to question which is so clearly held forth in his word heaven and earth shall pass but his word shall not pass till it be fulfilled what is too hard for an omnipotent arm he that made all things of nothing and he that every year raiseth a crop from dead seed why should we think it impossible for him to gather together our ashes however scattered and raise again our dead bodies to life it is thy great concern to live holily that thou mayst die happily and live with God eternally Oh my God enable me to commit all my concerns for soul and for body to thee and let me not murmure under any dark dispensation of providence however thou deal with me in reference to the body or these worldly enjoyments yet deal well with me in reference to my soul and in reference to eternity let the seed of grace grow and flourish let the weeds of sin be rooted out and let my soul like the good ground bring forth an hundred fold then shall I glorify thee when I
me grace and write thine image upon me but also enable me to reade it that it may keep me alive in the winter when thou seemest to be at a distance from me Upon fine flowers foul-sented 24. Med. WHen I beheld some of the fairest flowers in the garden and those that made the most specious shew and were adorned with the most costly colours and were set forth in the most gorgeous dress and were most sumptuously arrayed to please the eye I commended their form and shape and comely beauty but when I drew near to handle them to smell to them and put them in my bosome I found my mistake for they were of a stinking savour good for nothing but to gaze on at a distance for though they pleased my eye they offended my nose and were neither fit to be handled nor smelt to This made me to consider it is not always good to trust to our own eyes in our choice for the eye hath deceived many a man and will do us if we trust to it and call every thing good that is beautiful may we not see many a gallant in our times in a gayish dress where the bark is better then the body like the cinamon tree that like the butterfly paints her wings to cover her deformed carkass how often have I seen a handsome well-shap't beautiful woman with foul conditions misshapen qualities when under a more rugged skin and less beautiful countenance and more deformed body there was a more beautiful soul and Christianlike behaviour The devil many times baits his hooks with a beautiful woman when he fishes for unwary youth and seldome misses of his prey but by this means destroys them soul and body how oft do men that make their eye their cook and do more care to please their fancy then to please their God in their choise and looks after beauty more then grace undoe themselves and repent of their choise when it is too late Beauty is but skin-deep and age or fickness soon withers this flower when grace and goodness are more durable and will not change colour It were better for many women if they had fair mindes and soul faces then might they have escaped those snares the devil hath laid for their feet and ensnared their pretious souls grace and beauty is a sweet conjunction where they meet and sometimes though seldome we finde them together thus it was with Sarah and Rebeckah both fair both gracious but when they are seperated as too oft we finde grace should be preferred by many degrees An humble gracious spirit is a jewel of great price in the eyes of God and wise men but beauty dazles a fools eyes and makes him blinde and such Dalilah's bring men with Sampson to grind at the mill and makes their neighbours sport I need not prove this experientia docet From these Meditations I ascended higher and I resembled these fair but stinking flowers to an hypocrite that shews much better then he is and looks best at a distance and like deceitful wares worst at hand he is like a stage-player as the word signifies who often acts the part of a King a Prince an honest man when he is indeed a beggarly fellow perhaps a worthless rascal The hypocrite is a saint abroad a devil at home and plays more parts then one he is zealous in the congregation lukewarm in his family and key-cold in his closet under the vizard of holiness he acts wickedness and makes religion a cloak to cover his knavery or a stalking horse to take his prey and thus he deceives men and many times preys upon them but can neither deceive God nor the devil God quickly smels the stinking savour of his rotten lungs and the devil knows him by his own brand upon him Oh my soul art not thou guilty of this folly of judging by the appearance and of being deceived by deceitful shews look more at the substance then the shadow at the inward vertue then the form and feature choose not the tree by the leaves but the fruit nor a man by his words but his actions nor a woman by her beauty but by her good conditions choose not a horse by his trappings but by his mettle nor a professor by his discourse but by his life and conversation respect not a man for a gold ring but for the Jem and jewels of grace that he wears the fairest face hath not always the chastest heart nor the nimblest tongue the most solid wit the greatest bragger is not always the wisest nor the richest man the emptiest barrel makes the greatest sound and the deepest water makes least noise labour more to be good then to seem so for God will not judge thee as thou seemest to be but as thou art If the heart be not right God will wipe off all the paint and plaister that is upon thy words and actions and they shall be esteemed as the fountain is from whence they proceed be in secret what thou seemest in publick for the same eye is upon thee in the one as well as in the other hypocrites seem to distrust God lest he should deny the service they do him and therefore will do nothing but before witness but a true Christian dare take his word and therefore fast pray and give alms in secret popular applause is the oyl that makes the hypocrites chariot-wheels to move but it is the love of God that constrains a Christian Oh my God I cannot excuse my self or wash my hands from these filthy sins of pride and hypocrisie yet my hopes are they are not in me in a prevailing degree Lord curse and blast these bitter roots that never more fruit may grow upon them quell and suppress every motion that ariseth in my soul of this nature give me in sincerity whatever else thou shalt deny me Make my heart upright in thy statutes let me rather be good then seem good and work truth in my inward parts Upon sweet-smelling flowers 25. Med. WHen I considered what a sweet savour and odoriferous smell a garden of flowers and hearbs sent forth when it was watered from heaven by a refreshing shower and cheared again with the sun-beams darted upon it what a place of pleasure a paradice of delights it seemed to be the sight the smell and savour delighted me the melodious harmony and birds pleased me so that my affections began to grow warm and my fancy to be tickled with it and I began with Peter to say it is good being here till upon consideration I checkt my self for my folly for letting out my affection upon such poor objects and letting them grovel so low upon the ground and to close with such poor pittiful nothings then began I to screw my thoughts a little higher and to say to my self fool that thou art is there so much beauty and sweetness in the creature yea in these poor pitifull vanishing fading creatures which to day are saith Christ and to morrow are