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A71304 The life and death of the merry deuill of Edmonton With the pleasant prancks of Smug the smith, Sir Iohn, and mine host of the George, about the stealing of venison. By T.B. T. B. (Thomas Brewer) 1631 (1631) STC 3719; ESTC S104669 29,733 52

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to stagger and vp into the street When he was there reeling homewa●ds to his own-house the boyes at play in the street spied him at y e first sight halfe afraid of his blacke face they ran apace away from him yet at last when a great company of thē wer● gathered together they turned to him againe and followed him close shouting crying after him Deuill deuill deuill When Smug as druncke as he was heard them call him Deuill deuill deuil he maruailed much in his mind wherefore they called him so for alas he knew not had they called him drunckard It would neuer haue green'd him for that he knew to be his ordinary title Still followed the boyes at his heele crying as they begun Deuill deuill deuill throwing old shooes bones and pibble stones after him So long they followed him that they made him whole drunke halfe mad yet all he could do he could not mend it the boyes loued him so well they would not leaue him till they saw him at his doore His wife busie within hearing the noise and shoute the boyes made looked out and spyed her owne sweete husband in that sweete taking presently shee got him in a doores and ther began very prittily to make vse of her tongue to him After many brabling wordes betweene them she shewed him a glasse in which he saw the shaddow of his face in that most pittifull case Then Smug began to sweare not like a Smith I can tell you gogs no●nes foote and nayles thou most abhominable whore dos● thou shew me the Deuill to fright me from that little store of wit which I haue An thy Deuil were ten deuils I am not affraid of him and that thou shalt quickly sée with that he tooke his hammer from his side still seeing his owne swéet shaddow in the glasse which he tooke to be the Deuill strooke at it and with one blow clattered the glasse all in pieces Now you whore sayd hee where is your deuill now I thinke I haue mauld him yfaith bring your Deuills to me dost thou y u dost whore thou Alasse sweet Smug quoth she seing him so very much mooued be patient I préethe swéet chucke shewing him the crackt frame looke heere héere is no Deuill therefore I préethe swéet Oliuer be quiet Nay quoth Sm●g I le ticle your Deuills yfaith and your Deuils come to molest me within mine owne house vpon mine owne ground I le deuill them Come good sweet heart qd she now thou hast b●aten the Deuill away let vs goe to bed After a quarter of an houres fretting with very good words she got him to bed In the morning when shée knew his sléepe had made him ●ober she shewed him his blacke face againe in another glasse which when he saw and knew well what he saw he blusht but the best was it could not be séene till his visard was taken off with faire water and soape then he confest himselfe faultie promised amends and went very close to his labour How cunningly Smug scaped the Keeper and others that pursued him and made them run vp and downe from place to place to seeke him in vaine SMug his mad crew of Uenison-eaters one night being at their busines were suddainely set vpō by their old enemy the K●eper and two or thrée more that after they had taken great paines to get their prey bound it vp hansomely ready to beare it away they were forst to fix leaue it behind thē for feare of a further mischiefe The Miller he ran one way and nimble Sir Iohn in his buckram cassock another way and Smug another way as fast as if they had beene traind vp to running all their life time They had not time to take their leaues one of another or appoynt a place of meeting As these Deere-stealers tooke seuerall waies to run so the kéeper his consorts seuered themselues to pursue them one ran after the Miller another after sir Iohn two or thrée after Smug for he was the onely man they looked for though all of them were knowne to the kéeper well enough The Miller he ran not far ere he was staid with a good pat on the pate sir Iohns followers followed so close that he was driuen to leape for his liberty ouer a ditch ouer he should haue leapt but indeed a short leape laid him all along in the ditch and so he was staid and taken vp with neuer a dry thred on him Smug he ran directly homewards followed at the héeles by the kéeper another yet they could not ouer-take him When he was got to Edmonton with running to and fro vp one lane and downe another he got out of y e sight of his pursuers but it was so late he could no get into any house to hide him saue his owne into that he durst not goe fearing they would goe thither to séeke him A pretty while he stood studdying which way to shift for himselfe resoluing one while to do this thing another while that another while another At last standing thus in a browne studdy turning his eyes first one way then another way one while vp another while downe he spied y e signe of the white horse not painted vpon a boord as they vse to be héere in the Citty but fashioned out of timber set gallantly ouer the signe post Masse qd he I care not greatly if I get vp bestrid this white horse make another S. George héere in Edmonton I le do it yfaith it may be I may sit safer so then any way else if I do I do if I do not I know y e worst on 't t is but wearing two stocks vpon one leg I am as well able to indure it now as ere I was Up to the white horse he got back'd him brauely w t his arm stretch'd out his hamer hand instead of a sword and the lippet of his red cap tied vnder his chin which stood for his helmet most featly While he sat thus gallantly strutting vpon his wooden horse yet no hobby horse the kéeper y t followed him so close to haue gotten him into his kéeping with the tother that was with him went peaking preying in euery corner of the stréet to find him twice or thrice backward forward they went vnder him yet could not sée him but he saw them well enough When they had lost an houres labor or there abouts in séeking after him without doores they resolued another while to séeke him within come said y e kéeper to the other let vs go search the Innes first this this white horse is his dayly haunt and therefore it may be we shall finde him héere this night com let vs in As y e kéeper was going into the white horse vndr Smug his fellow looking vp bad him stay stay quoth the kéeper wherfore shold I stay why looke you said the other this is not the white horse as you take it to
such a bounsing at the doore marry good man drunkard qd she it is I that knock wherefore hast thou lockt me out Nay first qd Smug answer me wherefore didst thou locke me in t was so lately don I am sure thou hast not forgot it or if thou hast thou seest I haue ●ot Thou lokdst me in I haue lockt thee out Good Ag●is walke goe walke about So talke no longer for I swear by my red cap by Bacchus the God of good liquor I meane to kéep thée out all night as thou kepst me in all day and so swéet Agnis till betwéene seuen and eight in the morning farewell To bed went he againe left her to shift for her selfe til morning how they agréed when they came together I know not but you may iudge she scarce tooke it patiently How Smug quarreld with his fellowes and was ready to fight about the singing of a Catch and how till they turnd it to his mind he would not be quieted SMug one day being very merry with his honest swilling associates frō drinking fell to singing amongst all the od Alehouse catches they had vp this was one I le ty my Mare in thy ground this I le ty my Mare in thy ground was tost so long to and fro betwéene Smug the Miller the merry Parson y e Smug had forgot he was singing a Catch and began to quarrel with the Parson thinking verily he had ment as he said in his song to ty his Mare in his ground Will you ty your Mare in my ground said Smug the Parson he sung still I le ty my Mare in thy ground In my ground said Smug still went y e Parson forward with his Catch I le ty my Mare in thy ground c. Then Smug began to swagger indéed and swore if he tyed his Mare in his ground he woulde make his cap and scull cleaue together besides he would giue his Mare such a drench y t after y t drinke she should neuer eate more The Parson séeing Smugs rage increasing with very good words intreated him to be patient cast away choller for as I am an honest sir Iohn and a boone companion meant no harme in the world I did but sing the Catche as the Catch was But all these kinde words intreaties could not win Smug to patience till M. Parson turnd his song himselfe in singing frō him to the Miller Then they were as good friends as could be and in kindnesse went againe to drinke together till they were all laid to sleepe together How Smug being drunke in bed pist vpon his wife through a Cullender instead of a Chamber pot LAbouring at y e liquor al day many times tir'd Smug far worse then his labour at y e forge as it was often séene by him but most especially at this time that I ●a now to speake of for at this time he had labord so hard no body blame him for he cast not frō morning til night y t his legs were not able to beare him to bed but what he could not do himselfe for himselfe the helping hands of some kind neighbours friends did in bed they laid him and so left him to get that sléeping that he lost waking There lay he grunting growning like a hog in a sty turning two fro from one side of the bed to y e tother for the liquor wrought so within him y t he could not sléepe as he vs'd to drinke soundly for y e life of him Within halfe an houre after he had lien thus tumbling tossing as if he had lien vpon nettles his wife went to bed to him to rest her after her indeed true labor but poore woman she found lesse rest there thē in her labor for he kept such a re●ching and stretching himselfe such a hunching and punching with his leggs elbowes that she might haue lien better at ease betwéene too mad men then by him in that taking As he lay thus laboring laden ouer laden with the liquor he had taken y e liquor lay laboring within him for vent Which though he could very hardly rise to giue it hansomly yet he did his good will and reachd out of the bed for a pispot but instead of a pispot he tooke a cullender that stood close by his bed side vpon a settle knéeling vp right in his bed let his ill-digested liquor run as freely into it and through it vpō his slumbring wife as a coduite pipe at waste She presently féeling her selfe warme wet start vp began to brabble with him and cry shame vpon him for dooing such a beastly déed Why thou whore qd Smug wilt thou not giue me leaue to pisse if thou crosest my humor but with two crosse words more I le breake the pisse-pot about the pate of thée therefore be quiet But for al his threatning she wold not hold her tongue y ● she kept walking stil til Smugs fists walked about her eares There was such a sore battaile in y e bed betwéene them as thinke neare was séene betwéene bed fellowes before had not a ca●dle a●d a cleane ●aire of shéetes been● quickly carried vp to part them there would haue bin great blood-shed Finis Tho Brewer