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A43613 The ceremony-monger his character in five chapters ... with some remarks (in the introduction) upon the new-star-chamber, or late course of the Court of King's Bench, of the nature of a libel, and scandalum magnatum, and in conclusion, hinting at some mathematical untruths and escapes in the common-prayer book, both as to doctrine and discipline, and what bishops, were, are, and should be, and concerning ordination, humbly proposed to the consideration of the Parliament / by E. Hickeringill ... Hickeringill, Edmund, 1631-1708. 1689 (1689) Wing H1799; ESTC R20364 90,871 81

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is the Brains you 'l say of all our Ceremony-Mongers Where do you say They are there where they always were but never Consulted in any of these Illegal and silly Ceremonies further then whether they are like Popish Ceremonies That 's the Test that 's the Testimonial that first gave them Entrance into a Protestant Church and the Papists finely laugh at us and deride us for being their Apes as I have heard the Popish Friers beyond Sea Jear at us for the Mimickry grave English Noddles that have no other Reason not Religion for what they do but that they are the Pope's Baboons in spight of Holy Scripture Right Reason true Religion and the Laws of the Kingdom This confused Noise of the People is not Articulate but an un-intelligible and brutish Braying one Man's Voice drowns the Accent and Articulation of another and therefore is no more Intelligible than the Latine Mass and I suppose that the best Reason that can be given for it is that it keeps the people ignorant if they cannot read of at least one half of the Psalms The next step may be if this be suffered that the people shall read one half of the Chapters two and then though the vulgar cannot kept together from hearing the Scripture they shall be debarr'd one half in time we may go further we are just in the Popish Road that debars the vulgar from the whole Scriptures Read but the 1 Cor. 14.11.23 26.31 33. And if you fear God you will never do so any more Latin Prayers or Prayers in an unknown Tongue or an unintelligible Tongue also are Prophesies or Preachments in an untelligible Tongue by the Confusion of which God is not the Author but the Devil and the Pope invented these Contusions by them to beget the Mother of Popish and Ceremony Mongers Devotion Ignorance For saith St. Paul in that 1 Cor. 14.11 If I know not the Voice I shall be unto him that speaketh a Barbarian and he that speaketh shall be a Barbarian unto me Here is a plain Scripture against this confused Noise no man can know the meaning of a Voice that is not Articulate But what cares a Ceremony Monger for Scripture Give him his God give him his Mammon give him his popish Mimickry but whilst he makes himself a popish Ape he makes dull Englishmen both Apes and Asses All the Reason that ever any of them can give for this profane Folly is that the Singing boys do it and the great Heads do it and therefore the silly people like the Papists say must not we believe and practice as the Church believes and practises meaning by the Church the Clergy the rich the great and the gay Clergy And if this must be a Reason why may we not as well believe and practise as doth the ●ope of Rome as well any old Innocent here at home We talk of h●ting Popery in Italy we do well but not a j●● better for us if we follow the same Implicit Faith in England that the Italians do in Rome Thus the Prophets prophesie falsly and the Priests bear Rule by their means and my people love to have it so and what will ye do in the end thereof Let all things be done to edifying saith the Apostle and ye may all Prophesie or read for if Reading be not Preaching or Prophesing we have abundance of dumb Prophets if it be not a Bull in England 1 Cor. 14.31 Ye may all Prophesie read or preach one by one that all may Learn and all may be comforted Implying evidently that there can be no Learning no comfort no Edification in our confused and banling Superfuelon which is just like the Gossips Chat where all Tongues wag and all are Preachers and no Hearers Since therefore God is not the Author of this Confusion neither Law Canon Edification Rubrick Reason Act of Uniformity Religion nor Scripture to ●ouch it but point blank against all these tell me how it came here except from the Devil and the Pope Short Ejaculations as Amen Lord have Mercy or repeating after the Articulat Voice of the Minister falls not under this Censure But I wonder who taught the Women whose chiefest Beauty is modest Silence who taught them to prate in the Church They are so full of Tongue you 'l say that perhaps a little teaching would serve I never suffered such a confused babling in my Church of All-Saints Let them play the fools and popish Apishness some where else I never would permit them at which abundance of people took Snuff and because they might not be superstitious Apes they would not come there at all a good riddance of them they left the Room to their betters for we want nothing there so much as Room Is there not some fear least we all be beg'd Beg'd For what for wise men No but to replenish the Colledge of Gotham we are topping Fellows if the Pinacles of the Temple stand in view which is the way thither Are we not all as silly as that Cardinal who says Sit ergo Dominus noster papa baculus in aq●d fr●ctus absit tamen ut crederem quod viderim Let our Lord the pop●b a Staff partly in the water seeming crooked yet God forbid that I should believe mine own eyes Like Cardinal Bellarmin who makes Ignorance not Understanding the Ground of Faith Intending surely that none out Coxcombs priest-ridden should be of the Church This Ceremony monger carries one infallible Mark about him you may know him from a thousand for he sets such a Value and price upon his Illegal Trinkets and Ceremonies that if you take them or offer to take them from him he cryes out and roars like mad Micah Ye have taken away my gods which I made and the Priests and ye are gone away and what have I more And what is this that ye say unto me what aileth thee Would it not make a man bellow and cry to lose the Diana's by which he got his Wealth and on which ●o chiefly volues himself because it made him a man of value and those that are his Favourites on whom he puts the greatest Value That Trinket after him in a blind implicite slavish Mimickry and Imitation He that calls for a Reason he is not a man for his turn but sawcy troublesome and petulant Thus the blind lead the blind have a care of the ditch there just before you you had better take warning than tumble in But I fear lapidi loquor I wash a Black Moor I doubt yet I know no harm I do if I do him no no good if the Leopard will keep his Spots I did not make them he is Bedlam mad surely why dost thou strike so furiously I would but unshakle thee and set thee free or make thee set thy self free by representing thy self to thy self For I 'll assure thee that in City and Countrey good Master of the Ceremonies thou hast not amongst rational men more Beholders than Abhorrers Surely thy Ascendant
THE Ceremony-Monger HIS CHARACTER In Five Chapters CHAP. 1. Concerning Bowing to the Altar To the east CHAP. 2. Of Implicite Faith. CHAP. 3. Concerning the Reading-Dons of the Pulpit CHAP. 4. Concerning Bowing at the Name Jesu and the Power of the Keys The Church-Keys CHAP. 5. Concerning Vnlighted Candles on the Altar Organs Church-musick and other Popish-like and Foppish Ceremonies With some Remarks in the Introduction upon the New-Star-Chamber or late Course of the Court of King's Bench. Of the nature of a Libel and Scandalum Magnatum And In the Conclusion Hinting at some Mathematical Untruths and Escapes in the Common-prayer Book both as to Doctrine and Discipline And what Bishops were are and should be And Concerning Ordination Humbly proposed to the Consideration of the PARLIAMENT Ye men of Athens I perceive that in all things ye are too Superstitious Acts. 17.23 Behold the Devil shal cast some of you our into Prison Rev. 2.10 But those that walk in Pride God is able to Abase Dan. 4.37 By E. HICKERINGILL Rector of the Rectory of All-Saints in Colchester EDINBURGH Re-printed in the year 1689. To the Right Honourable CHARLES Earl of Shrewsbury in England of Waterford and Weshford in Ireland Lord Furnival c. His Majesty's Principal Secretary of State. My LORD I Come not now to praise you 't is needless for who can be ignorant what a mighty Hand both Military and Civil you have as successfully as vigorously extended under the happy Influence of their Sacred Majesties as a Tutelar and Angelical Guardian of these Kingdoms amongst other Worthies in this auspicious and late Revolution And in the Hand of the Almighty a signal Instrument of our Deliverance from impending Ruine venturing all that was near and dear unto you as well as your Life to help to save ours by a Kindness as superlative as your Courage and Conduct Much less do I come with this little Manual to avert your more Important Studies It will rather I hope divert your Cares in your softer Minutes But however if the Picture I draw do not please yet being in minoture so short a view cannot long detain you That Church-Ruffler in this following Character expos'd has so discompos'd and d●fa●'d to his uttermost the Church that to pourtr●y his Deformity in its proper Features requires more of the skill and dexterity of a Titian than to limn a perfect Beauty and the Divertisement is as pleasant to a judicious Eye that Examines even the Shades of every Line and Lineament but my Ink is not black enough to draw him in his proper Colours and sutable to that Havock he has made in the Church in our Age. For like the Moor of Venice he has been as bloody as black and to decipher his Face to the Life my blunter Pen should have been sharpned and imitating the keen Fury against the less Haggard Face of Witches scratch't it 'till the trickling Blood had supply'd my Pen with Colours proper for his Character Some perhaps will wonder where this Ecclesiastical Scarramuchio has ●●rk't all this while that he should not be visible enough 'till his Picture ●e drawn But I bring no News nor tell any false Tales for he has long ●een descry'd but now is the Time to let him see the Spots in his dirty ●ace if he will but impartially view himself in this Mirrour But if he happen to be enraged at his own Physyognomy like that ●d Lady that broke all the Looking-glasses she could come at because ●ot one of them would show her a handsome Face and he offer to break his Glass where can it better seek for shelter than under your Lordships ●tronage that is as generously willing as able to protect oppressed inocence For as such I must and may recommend it to your Honourable Protecti●● which would be affronted if it appear not to be so very Innocent ●at it hurts no Man describing and characterizing the Vice not the ●lty Person vitium non virum offending none but that dull Fool if ●ere be any so dull as to hold up his hand and cry Culprit Some Ceremonies are as necessary as useful in our Address to Heaven as also whenwe pay our due Respects to the Thrones below but the Ceremonies here expos'd are the Bastard-brood that Popery and Foppery begot in our Protestant Church and which neither the Laws of God nor the King does legitimate For when the Popish Ceremony monger was at the Reformation excluded and shut out of our Protestant Church he had 'till now Interest enough notwithstanding to make my Ceremony monger his Surrogate or dull Tool And the duller Tool the fairer Candidate for the place so he had but wit enough to remember his Creator and know his Cue And since Popery plain bare fac't Popery was inconsistent with the Laws of our holier Church and being Adulterate and consequently Illegitimate Therefore a Popish Ceremony in Masquerade an Ecclesiastical Symn●● must be laid in its room But none of their Spiritual Changlings shal inherit here nor is any other here condemned but what has made great waste and disturbed the Peace of the Church and must necessarily bring True Religion to an irrecoverable weakness and Consumption if much longer tolerated That Redemption which St. George the Champion of England gave to the Virgin ready to be ravaged by the Dragon may be fabulous but it is certain that your Lordship cannot better deserve the most Honourable George and Garter nor more immortalize your great Name than by improving your happy Talent and Interest in their Sacred Majesties that they may by redeeming the Church from Popish-like Slavery in non-sensical and illegal Ceremonies grace with fresh Lustre that old but sometimes sullied Flower of the Crown Defender of the Faith That so as our Renowned King William the Conqueror of Hearts and therefore the Conqueror of Kingdoms may perfect a Redemption for us in the Church without Blood as well as our late miraculous because not sanguinary Redemption in the State Whereby Pri●e has the fairest Ground in the World whereon to build her self a so idly so illegal despair of the vain Attempt their Sacred Majesties being as humble as high like the State-house at Amsterdam whose Foundation is as deep in the Ground as their Pinacles high and ma●ing the Skies And what Rebel to Heaven as well as Traitors to their Sacred Majesties can refuse due Homage and Fealty to such Landlords to whom God himself has deign'd to give Livery and Seizin and given by his visible Hand Possession of the Throne And as the Countenance only of former Kings gave Life to these Popish like Brats meerly for their likeness to Popery so their sacred Majesties can kill the Changling only with a Frown so futile so idly so illegal and Spiritless a thing is this same Ecclesiastical Bugg here character●z'd And yet as little and as weak as he is he has been a most mischievous Scandal and Stumbling blo●k to keep his Betters out of the
Womb. Thus put●ing the Chang● upon us and Engrossing a great many of the Protestant Preferments Honours and Privnedges to Fellows that were as like Papists and our Churches and Worship Adorations and Ceremonies as like Pop●sh Ceremonies and our Paul's as like St. Peter's as one Egg is like another to see to though the Yolks within may perhaps show some little Distinction and a Ceremonious Arminian is no right-down papist for if he should he could not be capable of his high Seat in a protestant Church and therefore he will rather confess himself a F●ol in cringing like an Ass to nothing than be turn'd out of Church and the Revenues thereof by confessing that he bows to things Divine Transubstantiated from a silly Wafer and rather than lose his soft place in Church or Senace he chooses rather to confess the soft place in his Head. But if you take him really for a Fool you mistake him vilely as I said before this Ecclesiastical Mountebank is more knave than Fool and bo●s for something even when he bows to nothing he gets Money by 't he gets Money by the Bargain and thou●h he shake his Reverend Nodle as if it was empty by making Reverences to an empty place yet he knows why and wherefore For though he seems to adore a Non-Entity you are mistaken in my Man for he there by adores his ch●efest God Mammon And his making foolish Legs to the Altar like an Ass was the ready Road to make Legs at Court and be an Ecclesiastical Apuleian Golden Ass For as a Costerd-Monger gets his Living and Estate often a great one by vending Trifles and Trinkets of his own Purchase as Perts Plums or Apples to that Improvement many times that he makes Money even of his Rotten Ware. So a Ceremony-Monger gets his living and Estate a great one oftentimes by Trifling Trinkets and illegal as well as nonsensical Ceremonies in Religion or rather his own Superstition of his own Purchase or the Invention of his private Noddle to that Improvement many times that he grows great in the World and in the Church and makes Money even of hi● Rotten Ware especially in bad times For this Ecclesiastical Quack like other staging Empyricks always gets most Money and Elieem and both of them make the best Markets for their Impostures and Rotten Druggs in the sickliest and worst of times 'T is best with these Stagers when 't is worst with all the rest of Mankind For it men be well to Health and well in their Wits both these Merry Andrews that for Money make fools of themselves may go whistle they may shut up their Shops and pull down their Stage Risum Teneatis Amici Come hold your sides and look demurely if you can for your very guts and spleen to see a grave Dignitory of the Church with Tippet and Sattin Cap a gaudy Cope and Hood before and behind Nodding his Reverend Head and making Reverences of humble that his brisly Chin even kisses the ground no Antick French Man or Father Peter can out vic the Complement in an humble Address to the East to the Altar and where there is better something or nothing more than in the Belfry and in the West Catechize my Don for he has been twice a Child Come Ask him I say does his Ecclesiastical Donship bow and Cringe so supplely notwithstanding his Age to something or to nothing If he answers To something Then take him Father Dada for he is thine 〈◊〉 him in the Service and Devotion of thy Water-God But if he reneages because Papists are not capable of a Dignity in the Church of England and i● forc'd to answer that he bows to nothing then beg him for a Fool and his richer Dignities take him Merry Andrew for he is thine He is that ridiculous Stager that makes a Fool of himself to pick up the Pence and no little neither For when Popery will not cannot get up to the top of the Steeple or Pinacle of the Temple where the Devil stood tempting our blessed Saviour with the World and the glory of it my Ceremony Monger being possess'd runs mad to be there which since all the Avenues are stopt against Lord Bishop Goddard and bare fac'd Popery my crafty Ceremony-Monger claps a vizard over the ugly bare face and passe most religiously so one of the Order and Reverendly with a M●●que does his Business and perhaps gets a Mandate In a Mo●k Election of the Chapter which in their Prayers for divine Assistance in the Election not only mock themselves but which is infinitely worse they mock the Almighty God too when they pray him to direct them in the choice of a fit Man when he is chosen before to their hands and they neither can will nor chuse If you do not yet know my Ceremony-Monger I 'll tell you his Name His Name is Legion for never was the Herd more numerous or more possessed since the Devil enter'd into the Herd of Swine and made them run like man violently down hill though they are like to perish in the Waters For this Ecclesiastical Hotspur though he has but a minute Sober share of Knowledge yet he has Zeal like mad And therefore never admits any heartily into his spiritual Muster-Roll or Lift but blind Conformists that are presently Tall-Fellows and preferr'd if they can but readily obey this one word of Command Streighten your Files Follow your File leader Thus like Horses in a Team they all Uniformly plod on together most gravely and soberly with Nose in his Leaders Hind 〈◊〉 and Showel-Hal●ers through thick and thin at all adventures minding nothing they poor H●●r●s but following the Fore Horse though he go out of the way as irregularly and illegally as irrationally falling into a Slough but desperately bent though not one of them know why not wherefore nor dare say whether they cringe and bow to something or nothing For they are forc'd to whisper when they say that they crings to nothing least the Papists that preferr them should hear and then they 're sure to get nothing therefore are forc'd to say nothing yet nod to nothing If I were a Papist or Anthropo-Morphite who believes that God fits Enthron'd in the East like a grave Old King I profess I would bow and crings as well as any Ecclesiastical Limber-ham of them all and pay my Adoration to that one Point of the Compass the East but if Men believe that the Holy one that Inhabits Eternity is also Omnipresent and in every place why do they no● make Correspondent Ceremonies of Adoration to every Point of the Compass But I recant my Folly for asking a Ceremony-Monger an honest reason of his Cringes who never hitherto could vouch his Supple him Worship to the Altar to the East c. except as aforesaid in Adoration of Mammon his God. But I 'll be Positive and Dogmatical in nothing of this Nature I 'll forswear nothing but building of Churches after I have first pull'd them