of_o the_o lord_n supper_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_a to_o i_o in_o preparation_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o awake_v god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n jer._n 2._o 32._o can_v a_o maid_n forget_v her_o ornament_n or_o a_o bride_n her_o attire_n i_o consider_v i_o be_v to_o meet_v and_o sup_v with_o my_o bridegroom_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o then_o consider_v what_o ornament_n and_o attire_n will_v best_o please_v he_o that_o i_o may_v put_v they_o on_o and_o these_o be_v present_v to_o my_o thought_n some_o as_o i_o lie_v in_o bed_n and_o some_o afterward_o as_o lovely_a and_o desirable_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n which_o i_o determine_v to_o put_v on_o 1_o sy_n a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a spirit_n 1_o pet._n 3._o 4._o 2_o lie_n faith_n cant._n 4._o 9_o thou_o hash_fw-mi ravish_v my_o heart_n my_o sister_n my_o spouse_n with_o one_o of_o thy_o eye_n faith_n have_v the_o office_n of_o a_o eye_n in_o the_o soul_n joh._n 6._o 40._o every_o one_o that_o see_v and_o believe_v look_v unto_o jesus_n heb_n 12._o 2._o 3_o lie_v love_n cant._n 4._o 10._o how_o fair_a be_v thy_o love_n my_o sister_n etc._n etc._n 4_o lie_v humility_n math._n 11._o 29._o learn_v of_o i_o for_o i_o be_o lowly_a in_o heart_n 5_o lie_v self-denial_n and_o forsake_v of_o every_o thing_n that_o come_v in_o competition_n with_o christ_n ps_n 45_o 10_o 11._o harken_v o_o daughter_n and_o consider_v forget_v thy_o own_o people_n and_o thy_o father_n house_n so_o shall_v the_o king_n great_o desire_v thy_o beauty_n 6_o lie_v a_o obediential_a frame_n of_o heart_n math._n 10._o 20_o 21._o all_o these_o have_v i_o observe_v from_o my_o youth_n jesus_n behold_v he_o love_v he_o 7_o lie_v a_o heart_n resolve_v to_o hold_v and_o maintain_v frequent_a converse_n and_o communion_n with_o he_o cant._n 2._o 14_o let_v i_o see_v thy_o countenance_n let_v i_o hear_v thy_o voice_n for_o sweet_a be_v thy_o voice_n and_o thy_o countenance_n be_v comely_a 8_o lie_v uprightness_n prov._n 11._o 20._o 9_o lie_n a_o holy_a fear_n of_o god_n and_o hope_n in_o his_o mercy_n ps_n 147._o 11._o 10_o lie_n fruitfulness_n cant._n 4._o 16_o 5._o 1._o but_o though_o god_n gracious_o assist_v i_o in_o preparation_n yet_o in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v my_o heart_n be_v flat_a and_o dead_a as_o soon_o as_o the_o sacrament_n be_v end_v i_o retire_v to_o my_o chamber_n to_o to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v pray_v that_o scripture_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n rom._n 3._o 3_o 4._o shall_v their_o unbelief_n make_v the_o faith_n of_o god_n of_o none_o effect_v god_n forbid_v i_o argue_v thence_o that_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o holy_a thing_n my_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o holy_a and_o due_a affection_n in_o time_n of_o receive_v shall_v not_o make_v void_a what_o god_n have_v promise_v in_o and_o by_o this_o ordinance_n but_o that_o the_o cup_n be_v to_o i_o the_o communion_n of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o new_a testament_n in_o his_o blood_n and_o the_o breed_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n this_o do_v strengthen_v my_o faith_n to_o depend_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n signify_v and_o seal_v by_o that_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o the_o indisposition_n of_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v sept._n 29._o as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o that_o rich_a promise_n make_v to_o abraham_n gen._n 15._o 1._o fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o bear_v up_o the_o soul_n under_o the_o fear_n and_o danger_n of_o any_o evil_n and_o against_o the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o any_o good_a thing_n i_o consider_v what_o warrant_n i_o have_v to_o apply_v that_o promise_n and_o present_o that_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o gal._n 3._o 9_o they_o which_o be_v of_o faith_n be_v bless_v with_o faithful_a abraham_n i_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v by_o it_o twice_o in_o this_o weak_a i_o observe_v that_o set_v upon_o worldly_a business_n which_o call_v hasty_o upon_o i_o before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o closet_n prayer_n and_o perform_v my_o usual_a meditation_n on_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n of_o god_n my_o heart_n grow_v out_o of_o frame_n and_o unsavoury_a and_o i_o be_v successless_a on_o both_o day_n oct._n 1._o sabbath_n day_n at_o my_o entrance_n on_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o god_n covenant_n i_o have_v a_o great_a combat_n in_o my_o spirit_n about_o my_o lay_v claim_n to_o god_n as_o my_o god_n have_v be_v late_o foil_v by_o my_o sin_n but_o god_n help_v i_o and_o show_v i_o out_o of_o his_o word_n that_o i_o may_v and_o ought_v to_o keep_v my_o hold_n of_o god_n as_o my_o god_n notwithstanding_o my_o often_o backslide_n from_o he_o jer._n 3._o 1_o 5_o 7_o 8._o yet_o v._n 19_o say_v god_n thou_o shall_v call_v i_o my_o father_n hos_n 2._o 5._o with_o 16._o the_o same_o evening_n consider_v how_o often_o and_o great_o i_o have_v sin_v and_o yet_o have_v be_v forgive_v i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n luke_n 7_o 47._o and_o see_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o love_v the_o lord_n much_o because_o i_o have_v much_o forgive_v and_o consider_v how_o i_o shall_v show_v my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o that_o much_o these_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o ps_n 40._o 16._o let_v such_o as_o love_v thy_o name_n say_v continual_o let_v the_o lord_n be_v magnify_v ps_n 97._o 10._o you_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a joh._n 14._o 10._o if_o you_o love_v i_o keep_v my_o commandment_n joh._n 21._o 15._o simon_n love_v thou_o i_o feed_v my_o sheep_n feed_v my_o lamb_n lord_n help_v i_o thus_o to_o show_v much_o love_n to_o thou_o oct._n 8._o have_v be_v overtake_v with_o the_o sin_n which_o easy_o beset_v i_o and_o have_v often_o foil_v i_o my_o spirit_n fall_v and_o my_o faith_n flag_v and_o i_o can_v not_o look_v upon_o god_n with_o any_o boldness_n be_v indispose_v to_o prayer_n yet_o in_o time_n of_o prayer_n god_n magnify_v his_o free_a grace_n to_o i_o and_o revive_v my_o soul_n with_o that_o word_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n etc._n etc._n after_o i_o have_v end_v my_o supplication_n i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n and_o be_v comfort_v against_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n by_o the_o advocateship_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o plead_v his_o propitiatory_a sacrifice_n as_o a_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o father_n justice_n for_o the_o sin_n of_o believer_n as_o oft_o as_o they_o fall_v into_o they_o and_o query_v with_o myself_o whether_o he_o will_v be_v a_o advocate_n to_o i_o to_o plead_v for_o i_o i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o that_o word_n joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o i_o be_v also_o further_o encourage_v from_o heb._n 7._o 25._o i_o consider_v that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n answer_v all_o charge_n and_o accusation_n that_o can_v be_v bring_v against_o those_o for_o who_o he_o intercede_v rom._n 8._o 33._o 34._o and_o that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n keep_v we_o â—o_o firm_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n that_o nothing_o can_v be_v able_a to_o separate_v we_o from_o it_o rom._n 8._o 34._o 35_o 38_o 39_o i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o person_n for_o who_o he_o intercede_v be_v such_o as_o come_v to_o god_n by_o he_o and_o that_o he_o intercede_v for_o they_o at_o all_o time_n when_o they_o be_v fall_v as_o well_o as_o when_o they_o stand_v when_o they_o be_v dead_a as_o well_o as_o when_o in_o a_o lively_a frame_n for_o he_o ever_o live_v to_o make_v intercession_n after_o these_o meditation_n my_o spirit_n revive_v and_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v before_o bow_v down_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n i_o go_v with_o boldness_n to_o god_n lean_v upon_o the_o merit_n and_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n oct._n 13._o my_o spirit_n be_v bow_v down_o with_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n because_o i_o be_v foil_v by_o a_o sin_n against_o which_o i_o have_v pray_v many_o year_n i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v in_o my_o course_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 7_o 8_o 9_o whence_o i_o observe_v 1_o st_z god_n see_v it_o needful_a for_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n to_o meet_v with_o buffet_n 2_o lie_n when_o god_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v any_o corruption_n a_o thorn_n in_o the_o flesh_n or_o a_o temptation_n a_o messenger_n of_o satan_n to_o buffet_v we_o it_o be_v to_o keep_v we_o humble_a and_o from_o be_v exalt_v 3_o lie_n god_n suffer_v his_o faithful_a servant_n sometime_o to_o pray_v long_o against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n and_o yet_o can_v get_v it_o remove_v 4_o lie_n though_o my_o strength_n be_v not_o
god_n be_v a_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o of_o life_n too_o communicate_v both_o grace_n and_o gift_n and_o teach_v as_o well_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d as_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d both_o which_o consist_v together_o in_o this_o excellent_a person_n the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v both_o in_o his_o head_n and_o heart_n and_o be_v effectual_o the_o law_n of_o his_o life_n he_o be_v a_o burn_v as_o well_o as_o shine_v light_n a_o man_n more_o than_o ordinary_o mortify_v to_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n free_o and_o resolve_o devote_v to_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n his_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n his_o delight_n in_o the_o saint_n his_o business_n religion_n his_o zeal_n for_o holiness_n his_o main_a design_n the_o glorify_v of_o god_n and_o the_o salvation_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o soul_n whereof_o the_o follow_a page_n will_v i_o doubt_v not_o be_v a_o abundant_a evidence_n not_o only_o to_o the_o charitable_a but_o rational_a judgement_n of_o the_o christian_a reader_n as_o for_o his_o practice_n of_o mortification_n i_o shall_v not_o otherwise_o express_v it_o than_o in_o his_o own_o word_n as_o i_o read_v it_o in_o the_o record_n of_o the_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o his_o life_n by_o his_o own_o hand_n but_o after_o he_o have_v a_o family_n viz._n have_v be_v foil_v by_o the_o lust_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n several_a time_n and_o consider_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v to_o get_v rid_v of_o those_o lust_n which_o have_v so_o often_o prevail_v over_o i_o god_n direct_v i_o to_o three_o several_a mean_n the_o one_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v in_o my_o garden_n and_o meditate_v on_o the_o affair_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o eye_v apply_v and_o meditate_v on_o the_o promise_n and_o the_o scripture_n which_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o god_n set_v before_o i_o for_o this_o end_n be_v 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o by_o the_o precious_a promise_n give_v to_o we_o we_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n the_o other_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o that_o be_v to_o be_v daily_o apply_v the_o lord_n jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n ground_v on_o rom._n 13._o 13._o 14._o where_o the_o apostle_n advise_v to_o put_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o a_o help_n against_o chamber_v and_o wantonness_n strife_n and_o envy_v the_o three_o be_v suggest_v to_o i_o as_o i_o be_v ride_v abroad_o and_o discourse_v of_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n which_o be_v gal._n 5._o 16._o walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n and_o you_o shall_v not_o fulfil_v the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n in_o pursuance_n of_o these_o mean_n for_o the_o mortify_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n i_o determine_v with_o myself_o to_o eye_n the_o promise_n of_o god_n more_o frequent_o than_o i_o have_v do_v and_o to_o that_o end_n i_o choose_v out_o some_o promise_n of_o daily_a and_o continual_a use_n and_o determine_v by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n to_o salute_v and_o embrace_v they_o once_o a_o day_n and_o not_o only_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o they_o myself_o but_o in_o my_o meditation_n and_o soliloquy_n to_o spread_v they_o before_o god_n and_o to_o put_v the_o lord_n in_o remembrance_n of_o they_o for_o supply_v all_o the_o want_n of_o the_o day_n i_o choose_v that_o promise_n phil._n 4._o 19_o for_o growth_n in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 5._o for_o subdue_a my_o sin_n mic._n 7._o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o for_o success_n in_o my_o undertake_n ps_n 1._o 3._o for_o turn_v all_o the_o event_n of_o the_o day_n for_o good_a to_o i_o rom._n 8._o 28._o for_o the_o conversion_n and_o sanctification_n of_o my_o child_n isa_n 44._o 3._o for_o my_o yoke-fellow_n and_o servant_n and_o all_o other_o in_o my_o family_n that_o they_o may_v get_v good_a from_o i_o and_o return_v to_o god_n and_o grow_v in_o grace_n hos_n 14._o 7._o for_o sanctify_v of_o my_o affliction_n isa_n 27._o 9_o zech._n 13._o 9_o for_o audience_n of_o my_o prayer_n mic._n 7._o 7._o joh._n 14._o 13._o 14._o for_o grace_n and_o strength_n to_o manage_v all_o the_o work_n of_o the_o day_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n zech._n 10._o 12._o for_o protection_n from_o danger_n and_o casualty_n gen._n 15._o 1._o for_o give_v i_o eternal_a life_n in_o case_n the_o day_n shall_v bring_v death_n to_o i_o luk._n 12._o 32._o joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o counsel_n and_o direction_n in_o all_o case_n of_o difficulty_n and_o unexpected_a emergency_n isa_n 58._o 11._o ps_n 32._o 8._o i_o judge_v it_o also_o very_o conducible_a to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o my_o own_o soul_n good_a to_o manage_v all_o my_o employment_n as_o much_o as_o may_v be_v with_o a_o eye_n to_o the_o promise_n and_o as_o to_o my_o call_n when_o i_o be_o study_v to_o compose_v sermon_n deut._n 28._o 8._o when_o i_o go_v to_o preach_v math._n 28._o 19_o 20._o for_o success_n in_o my_o preach_n isa_n 56._o 8._o 65._o 23._o i_o be_v the_o more_o confirm_v in_o this_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a converse_n with_o the_o promise_n not_o only_o as_o it_o help_v on_o our_o participation_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n and_o our_o escape_v the_o pollution_n that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n through_o lust_n but_o because_o the_o lord_n command_v we_o to_o be_v always_o mindful_a of_o his_o covenant_n 1_o chron._n 16._o 15._o and_o it_o please_v god_n to_o see_v we_o take_v hold_v of_o his_o covenant_n isa_n 56._o 4._o and_o it_o be_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 1._o 20._o i_o determine_v also_o when_o i_o shall_v feel_v the_o work_n of_o any_o lust_n present_o to_o look_v up_o to_o jesus_n christ_n it_o be_v the_o remedy_n which_o the_o holy_a ghost_n prescribe_v against_o such_o sin_n as_o do_v most_o easy_o beset_v we_o heb._n 12._o 1._o 2._o i_o have_v often_o be_v encourage_v and_o help_v in_o this_o practice_n of_o look_v unto_o jesus_n to_o subdue_v my_o sin_n from_o act._n 3._o ult_n god_n send_v his_o son_n jesus_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o every_o one_o from_o his_o iniquity_n beza_n note_n upon_o that_o text_n be_v very_o good_a and_o have_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o viz._n that_o the_o great_a word_n for_o inquity_n signify_v the_o root_n and_o habit_n of_o sin_n i_o see_v it_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o concernment_n every_o day_n to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o apply_v my_o soul_n to_o christ_n and_o christ_n his_o benefit_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o pursuance_n of_o the_o 3d_o mean_n of_o mortification_n viz._n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n i_o resolve_v to_o endeavour_v to_o do_v my_o work_n and_o duty_n both_o to_o god_n and_o man_n more_o spiritual_o and_o in_o order_n hereunto_o to_o reduce_v my_o act_n to_o some_o word_n and_o as_o oft_o as_o i_o can_v to_o eye_n some_o word_n of_o god_n as_o i_o be_v enter_v on_o they_o as_o for_o instance_n if_o i_o be_v call_v out_o by_o other_o or_o stir_v up_o in_o my_o own_o spirit_n to_o visit_v the_o sick_a or_o any_o afflict_a person_n to_o have_v my_o thought_n on_o math._n 25._o 36._o or_o jam._n 1._o 27._o when_o any_o poor_a people_n come_v to_o i_o for_o relief_n or_o any_o object_n of_o charity_n be_v present_v to_o i_o to_o eye_n gal._n 6._o 10._o or_o hebr._n 13._o 16._o or_o isa_n 58._o 10._o or_o eccl._n 11._o 1._o or_o prov_fw-mi 19_o 17._o when_o a_o poor_a man_n come_v to_o borrow_v deut._n 15._o 7._o 8._o 10._o when_o to_o write_v letter_n take_v a_o journey_n or_o be_v any_o way_n employ_v for_o other_o gal._n 5._o 13._o phil._n 2._o 4._o when_o to_o visit_n out_o of_o courtesy_n or_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o courtesy_n require_v 1_o pet._n 3._o 8._o when_o to_o instruct_v my_o servant_n and_o child_n deut._n 6._o 7._o gen._n 18._o 19_o when_o to_o catechise_v the_o youth_n that_o come_v to_o my_o family_n joh._n 21._o 15._o prov._n 22._o 6._o when_o invite_v to_o exercise_v abroad_o among_o poor_a or_o rich_a isa_n 32._o ult_n when_o to_o administer_v a_o reproof_n leu._n 19_o 17._o when_o to_o confer_v about_o spiritual_a thing_n mal._n 3._o 17._o this_o be_v the_o wise_a and_o holy_a method_n which_o this_o faithful_a servant_n and_o soldier_n of_o jesus_n christ_n prescribe_v to_o himself_o by_o divine_a direction_n whereby_o to_o manage_v the_o spiritual_a war_n with_o the_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o he_o that_o he_o may_v not_o be_v overcome_v with_o it_o according_a to_o which_o he_o moreover_o charge_v himself_o with_o the_o practice_n of_o universal_a positive_a holiness_n which_o he_o thus_o record_v be_v under_o the_o rebuke_n of_o god_n chastise_v
word_n ps_n 119._o 165._o great_a peace_n have_v they_o that_o love_v thy_o law_n he_o receive_v the_o spirit_n which_o be_v of_o god_n and_o know_v the_o thing_n that_o be_v free_o give_v to_o he_o of_o god_n and_o rejoice_v therein_o 1_o cor._n 2._o 12._o as_o to_o his_o conversion_n which_o to_o some_o that_o have_v live_v long_o in_o ignorance_n security_n sensuality_n profaneness_n and_o forgetfulness_n of_o god_n be_v very_o sensible_a he_o be_v from_o tender_a year_n restrain_v and_o well_o incline_v it_o be_v not_o so_o remarkable_a to_o he_o the_o most_o discernible_a part_n thereof_o be_v when_o he_o be_v a_o young_a scollar_n in_o cambridge_n nor_o do_v he_o then_o experience_n very_o notable_a work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n which_o occasion_v some_o trouble_n to_o his_o mind_n and_o he_o fear_v his_o humiliation_n be_v not_o deep_a enough_o but_o he_o receive_v full_a satisfaction_n from_o a_o passage_n in_o a_o sermon_n which_o he_o hear_v preach_v by_o that_o worthy_a and_o excellent_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n mr._n richard_n vines_n than_o master_n of_o pembroke_n hall_n he_o have_v sometime_o say_v to_o his_o friend_n that_o he_o be_v not_o much_o acquaint_v with_o those_o ravish_a joy_n which_o some_o have_v feel_v but_o yet_o have_v that_o comfort_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o give_v he_o satisfaction_n his_o method_n and_o manner_n be_v to_o derive_v his_o assurance_n and_o comfort_n from_o the_o write_a word_n of_o the_o truth_n whereof_o he_o will_v say_v he_o have_v such_o a_o full_a persuasion_n as_o be_v the_o sure_a word_n of_o god_n that_o he_o do_v more_o firm_o believe_v it_o than_o if_o a_o angel_n shall_v speak_v to_o he_o from_o heaven_n according_a to_o 2_o pet._n 1._o 17_o 18_o 19_o 20_o 21._o he_o can_v not_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o the_o expectation_n or_o apprehension_n of_o the_o immediate_a sole_a testimony_n of_o the_o spirit_n without_o the_o word_n but_o will_v compare_v himself_o with_o the_o word_n frequent_o practise_v the_o duty_n of_o self_n examination_n search_v for_o those_o grace_n disposition_n and_o operation_n in_o his_o heart_n which_o be_v promise_v in_o the_o word_n and_o to_o which_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v which_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n enlighten_v he_o to_o discern_v and_o enable_v he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o argumentation_n to_o infer_v thence_o his_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o the_o covenant_n of_o god_n for_o his_o satisfaction_n and_o spiritual_a consolation_n and_o the_o assurance_n which_o he_o attain_v in_o this_o method_n and_o by_o these_o mean_v he_o thus_o record_v his_o evidence_n 1._o evidence_n of_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n after_o my_o recovery_n from_o a_o sickness_n i_o set_v myself_o to_o examine_v and_o prove_v my_o faith_n to_o see_v if_o it_o be_v true_a and_o save_a because_o pardon_v of_o sin_n freedom_n from_o condemnation_n eternal_a life_n with_o other_o great_a blessing_n be_v promise_v to_o believer_n and_o much_o of_o our_o comfort_n in_o sickness_n and_o health_n in_o life_n and_o death_n depend_v on_o the_o knowledge_n and_o proof_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v in_o christ_n with_o a_o true_a and_o save_v faith_n i_o be_v satisfy_v thus_o 1._o from_o those_o expression_n of_o scripture_n wherein_o the_o nature_n and_o essential_a act_n of_o faith_n be_v set_v forth_o as_o 1._o come_v to_o christ_n joh._n 6._o 35._o he_o that_o come_v he_o that_o believe_v on_o i_o come_v be_v believe_v my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o be_o come_v to_o christ_n for_o christ_n himself_o and_o all_o his_o benefit_n i_o sin_v my_o soul_n draw_v to_o christ_n and_o upon_o all_o occasion_n look_v and_o go_v to_o he_o 2._o receive_v joh._n 1._o 12._o as_o many_o as_o receive_v he_o even_o as_o many_o as_o believe_v on_o his_o name_n receive_v be_v believe_v now_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n willing_o receive_v and_o thankful_o accept_v jesus_n christ_n as_o god_n offer_v he_o in_o the_o gospel_n even_o a_o whole_a christ_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o office_n to_o be_v to_o i_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n 3_o trust_v eph._n 1._o 13._o in_o who_o you_o trust_v you_o believe_v trust_v be_v believe_v this_o also_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o rely_v on_o christ_n for_o righteousness_n grace_n and_o life_n 2_o from_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o faith_n which_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n it_o be_v through_o my_o knowledge_n and_o acquaintance_n with_o the_o word_n that_o i_o have_v be_v bring_v to_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o through_o christ_n in_o the_o father_n that_o send_v he_o and_o i_o read_v such_o as_o believe_v through_o the_o word_n be_v true_a believer_n for_o who_o christ_n make_v intercession_n joh._n 17._o 20._o and_o who_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n joh._n 5._o 24._o 3_o from_o this_o property_n and_o effect_n of_o faith_n viz._n prize_v christ_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o unto_o you_o that_o believe_v christ_n it_o be_v precious_a the_o apostle_n speak_v of_o the_o faith_n of_o god_n elect_v ch_n 1._o 2._o and_o of_o save_a faith_n ch_n 1._o 9_o now_o i_o find_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o so_o precious_a to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o value_v and_o prefer_v he_o above_o the_o whole_a world_n i_o account_v his_o blood_n precious_a which_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o sin_n the_o promise_v exceed_o great_a and_o precious_a which_o in_o he_o be_v yea_o and_o amen_o christ_n be_v so_o precious_a to_o i_o that_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o suffer_v for_o he_o phil._n 1._o 29._o yea_o i_o choose_v a_o suffer_a condition_n for_o christ_n before_o the_o honour_n riches_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o can_v be_v enjoy_v without_o sin_v against_o he_o heb._n 11._o 24_o 25_o 26._o i_o be_o willing_a to_o take_v up_o the_o cross_n and_o forsake_v all_o thing_n for_o he_o evidence_n that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n sept._n 30._o 1666._o i_o consider_v with_o myself_o what_o evidence_n i_o have_v that_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n and_o be_v satisfy_v from_o these_o scripture_n rom._n 6._o 16._o know_v you_o not_o that_o to_o who_o you_o yield_v yourselves_o servant_n to_o obey_v his_o servant_n you_o be_v to_o who_o you_o obey_v whether_o of_o sin_n unto_o death_n or_o of_o obedience_n unto_o righteousness_n i_o find_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o yield_v my_o self_n to_o he_o nehem._n 1._o 11._o o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o let_v now_o thy_o ear_n be_v attentive_a to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n and_o to_o the_o prayer_n of_o thy_o servant_n that_o desire_v to_o fear_v thy_o name_n here_o i_o see_v that_o such_o as_o desire_v to_o fear_n god_n be_v account_v god_n servant_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v some_o doubt_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n because_o it_o be_v say_v joh._n 8._o 34._o very_o very_o i_o say_v unto_o you_o that_o whosoever_o commit_v sin_n be_v the_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o remove_v this_o doubt_n i_o consider_v 1._o that_o the_o meaning_n of_o this_o scripture_n be_v not_o that_o no_o man_n that_o have_v sin_n in_o his_o heart_n or_o do_v sin_n in_o his_o life_n can_v be_v god_n servant_n but_o be_v a_o servant_n of_o sin_n for_o then_o god_n shall_v have_v no_o servant_n upon_o the_o face_n of_o the_o earth_n eccl._n 7._o 20._o there_o be_v not_o a_o just_a man_n upon_o earth_n that_o do_v good_a and_o sin_v not_o joh._n 1._o 8._o if_o we_o say_v that_o we_o have_v no_o sin_n we_o deceive_v ourselves_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v not_o in_o we_o 2._o it_o be_v say_v that_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n be_v free_a from_o righteousness_n rom._n 6._o 20._o now_o through_o mercy_n i_o follow_v after_o righteousness_n and_o find_v something_o of_o it_o whence_o i_o conclude_v i_o be_v not_o the_o servant_n of_o sin_n 3._o i_o see_v that_o david_n hold_v this_o conclusion_n that_o he_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n though_o he_o be_v compass_v about_o with_o infirmity_n yea_o even_o at_o such_o time_n as_o he_o be_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sinful_a infirmity_n ps_n 116._o 11_o 16._o o_o lord_n true_o i_o be_o thy_o servant_n i_o be_o thy_o servant_n yet_o he_o have_v say_v in_o his_o haste_n unbelieve_o all_o man_n be_v liar_n david_n after_o he_o have_v commit_v the_o great_a sin_n of_o number_v the_o people_n against_o the_o counsel_n and_o advice_n of_o his_o friend_n confess_v that_o he_o have_v sin_v great_o and_o do_v very_o foolish_o yet_o call_v himself_o a_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 2_o sam._n 24._o 10._o 4._o as_o i_o be_v consider_v
but_o of_o god_n joh._n 1._o 13._o and_o that_o god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o strength_n to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n in_o a_o way_n of_o wait_a isa_n 40._o 29_o 31._o i_o see_v from_o these_o consideration_n further_a ground_n of_o hope_n and_o wait_v upon_o god_n notwithstanding_o i_o find_v my_o strength_n perish_v from_o i_o neither_o shall_v the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n discourage_v i_o from_o wait_v on_o god_n from_o expect_v of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n from_o go_v to_o christ_n the_o whole_a need_v not_o a_o physician_n christ_n deal_v with_o sinner_n mar._n 2._o 17._o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o they_o that_o come_v to_z him_z joh._n 6._o 37._o why_o do_v he_o shed_v his_o blood_n to_o wash_v away_o our_o sin_n how_o be_v he_o the_o lamb_n of_o god_n that_o take_v away_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o world_n if_o he_o shall_v cast_v off_o guilty_a soul_n when_o they_o come_v unto_o he_o be_v there_o not_o a_o fountain_n open_v for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o zach._n 13._o 1._o what_o though_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n yet_o if_o i_o go_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v not_o loathe_v i_o ezek._n 16._o 6_o 8._o but_o will_v sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o filthiness_n ezek._n 36._o 25._o when_o therefore_o i_o find_v guilt_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v to_o jesus_n christ_n in_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o isa_n 1._o 18._o 43._o 25_o 26._o 44._o 21_o 22._o i_o will_v cry_v unto_o he_o that_o i_o may_v have_v the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o these_o promise_n by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n neither_o shall_v my_o rebellious_a heart_n the_o perverseness_n and_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n discourage_v i_o but_o i_o will_v with_o david_n beg_v a_o new_a heart_n and_o a_o right_a spirit_n ps_n 51._o 10._o i_o will_v say_v as_o ephraim_n jer._n 31._o 18._o turn_v thou_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v god_n have_v send_v christ_n to_o bless_v we_o in_o turn_v we_o from_o our_o iniquity_n act._n 3._o 26._o and_o to_o destroy_v what_o satan_n have_v wrought_v in_o we_o 1._o joh._n 3._o 8._o therefore_o when_o i_o feel_v sin_n prevail_v and_o lead_v i_o captive_a i_o will_v with_o paul_n cry_v out_o of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n rom._n 7._o 24._o and_o go_v to_o god_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o math._n 11._o 28._o isa_n 45._o 22._o jer._n 31._o 33._o ezek._n 36._o 26._o when_o i_o feel_v myself_o graceless_a i_o will_v look_v to_o he_o who_o be_v full_a of_o grace_n joh._n 1._o 14._o 16._o and_o have_v promise_v to_o give_v grace_n ps_n 84._o 11_o even_o a_o heart_n to_o love_v he_o deut._n 30._o 6._o and_o to_o put_v his_o fear_n into_o we_o jer._n 32._o 40._o and_o to_o withhold_v no_o good_a thing_n if_o we_o endeavour_v to_o walk_v upright_o before_o he_o ps_n 84._o 11._o when_o i_o find_v the_o plague_n of_o a_o hard_a dead_a heart_n upon_o i_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n who_o quicken_v the_o dead_a rom._n 4._o 17._o and_o can_v raise_v child_n to_o abraham_n out_o of_o stone_n math._n 3._o 9_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o he_o in_o his_o covenant_n promise_v to_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o to_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n ezek._n 36._o 26._o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n when_o god_n withdraw_v the_o comfortable_a influence_n of_o his_o presence_n i_o will_v not_o be_v discourage_v but_o i_o will_v search_v my_o heart_n and_o try_v my_o way_n and_o see_v what_o cause_n i_o have_v give_v the_o lord_n to_o depart_v from_o i_o lam._n 3._o 40._o josh_n 7._o 11._o 12_o 13._o isa_n 59_o 2._o i_o will_v earnest_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v return_v and_o shine_v upon_o i_o and_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o my_o soul_n ps_n 80._o 3._o 89._o 46._o hos_fw-la 5._o 15._o i_o will_v not_o only_o pray_v but_o wait_v for_o his_o return_n ps_n 130._o 5_o 6._o isa_n 8._o 17._o lam._n 3._o 2_o 3._o etc._n etc._n with_o 26._o and_o in_o wait_v i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n in_o these_o or_o like_a promise_n ps_n 103._o 8_o 9_o isa_n 54._o 6_o 7_o 8._o 57_o 16_o 17_o 18._o lam._n 3._o 31_o 32._o hos_fw-la 6._o 1_o 2_o 3._o joh._n 14._o 18._o when_o i_o have_v neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o fall_v and_o be_v unsteadfast_a in_o covenant_n with_o god_n i_o will_v not_o despair_v but_o look_v to_o god_n in_o christ_n that_o he_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n grant_v i_o repentance_n and_o restore_v i_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n admit_v of_o repentance_n after_o sin_n levit._n 26._o 21._o 40._o 41_o 42._o yea_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o give_v repentance_n act._n 5._o 31._o have_v promise_v to_o heal_v backslide_n hos_fw-la 14._o 4._o invite_v backslider_n to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1_o 12_o 13_o 14._o how_o do_v david_n behave_v himself_o when_o iniquity_n prevail_v over_o he_o he_o go_v to_o god_n to_o purge_v away_o his_o transgression_n ps_n 65._o 3._o he_o make_v supplication_n to_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o cast_v he_o out_o of_o his_o presence_n ps_n 51._o 11._o he_o confess_v his_o sin_n and_o god_n pardon_v he_o ps_n 32._o 5._o which_o shall_v encourage_v all_o the_o godly_a when_o they_o have_v fall_v to_o return_v to_o the_o lord_n ver_fw-la 6._o st._n john_n lay_v strict_a charge_n upon_o believer_n that_o they_o sin_v not_o but_o in_o case_n of_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o have_v they_o despair_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o solomon_n pray_v to_o this_o purpose_n 1_o king_n 8._o and_o god_n accept_v ch_n 9_o 3._o when_o therefore_o thou_o have_v fall_v o_o my_o soul_n by_o thy_o iniquity_n and_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v his_o gracious_a presence_n let_v thy_o uncircumcised_a heart_n be_v humble_v accept_v of_o the_o punishment_n of_o thy_o sin_n turn_v unto_o the_o lord_n and_o and_o say_v take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n and_o receive_v i_o gracious_o so_o will_v i_o praise_v thou_o leu._n 26._o 41._o hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o let_v not_o thy_o fall_n cause_v thou_o to_o depart_v from_o the_o live_n god_n though_o thou_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n with_o many_o lover_n yet_o the_o lord_n call_v thou_o to_o return_v jer._n 3._o 1._o god_n command_v we_o to_o forgive_v our_o brother_n seven_o time_n a_o day_n if_o he_o return_v and_o repent_v luk._n 17._o 4._o yea_o not_o only_o seven_o time_n but_o seventy_o time_n seven_o math._n 18._o 21_o 22._o and_o will_v not_o god_n much_o more_o forgive_v we_o though_o we_o fall_v oft_o if_o we_o return_v and_o seek_v his_o face_n see_v his_o way_n be_v far_o above_o our_o way_n isa_n 55._o 7_o 9_o dec._n 9_o 1655._o have_v find_v much_o formality_n in_o my_o duty_n on_o the_o sabbath_n and_o see_v myself_o lose_v in_o they_o i_o put_v the_o question_n to_o my_o soul_n what_o if_o thou_o die_v this_o night_n what_o be_v thy_o hope_n how_o will_v thou_o appear_v before_o god_n righteousness_n of_o thy_o own_o thou_o have_v none_o to_o trust_v to_o thou_o see_v how_o thou_o sin_v every_o day_n and_o how_o full_a of_o sin_n thy_o best_a duty_n be_v upon_o this_o enquiry_n the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n 1_o cor._n 1._o 30._o god_n have_v make_v christ_n righteousness_n to_o we_o and_o jer._n 23._o 6._o this_o be_v the_o name_n by_o which_o he_o shall_v be_v call_v the_o lord_n our_o righteousness_n which_o be_v comfort_n to_o i_o and_o inquire_v what_o warrant_v i_o have_v to_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v a_o sharer_n in_o this_o righteousness_n and_o that_o i_o stand_v accept_v of_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o this_o righteousness_n i_o see_v from_o rom._n 3._o 21_o 22._o that_o this_o righteousness_n be_v upon_o all_o that_o believe_v now_o through_o the_o lord_n goodness_n and_o to_o his_o praise_n be_v it_o speak_v i_o have_v ofttimes_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o only_o to_o long_o after_o pardon_v and_o renovation_n but_o to_o trust_v in_o christ_n and_o in_o god_n through_o he_o for_o pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n and_o all_o other_o good_a thing_n dec._n 16._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n gracious_o present_a with_o i_o in_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o my_o bed_n and_o my_o soul_n be_v much_o refresh_v with_o mr._n simond_n sermon_n god_n speak_v a_o suitable_a word_n by_o he_o to_o my_o soul_n from_o mat._n 15._o 23._o but_o he_o answer_v she_o not_o a_o word_n god_n may_v sometime_o defer_v to_o give_v a_o answer_n to_o a_o gracious_a and_o well_o qualify_v prayer_n 1._o to_o correct_v our_o
deafness_n to_o his_o voice_n 2._o to_o put_v we_o upon_o more_o earnest_n seek_v of_o he_o 3._o to_o exercise_v and_o try_v our_o grace_n god_n proportion_n mercy_n according_a to_o his_o delay_n they_o be_v the_o great_a when_o give_v in_o sarah_n tarry_v long_o for_o a_o son_n and_o then_o have_v a_o isaac_n so_o do_v hanna_n but_o then_o have_v a_o samuel_n so_o elizabeth_n but_o then_o have_v a_o john_n my_o heart_n rejoice_v at_o this_o hope_v that_o god_n will_v give_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o brokenness_n of_o heart_n in_o his_o own_o due_a time_n though_o at_o present_a my_o heart_n be_v hard_o and_o i_o remember_v how_o hard_a mr._n bradfords_n heart_n be_v once_o as_o to_o his_o own_o sense_n and_o how_o eminent_a he_o be_v afterward_o for_o tenderness_n as_o m._n fox_n relate_v god_n be_v very_o good_a this_o day_n but_o oh_o how_o vile_a and_o sinful_a be_v i_o i_o feel_v a_o very_a proud_a vainglorious_a heart_n both_o in_o hear_v and_o after_o sermon_n be_v do_v but_o the_o lord_n chastise_v i_o for_o it_o for_o at_o night_n when_o i_o preach_v in_o the_o chapel_n the_o lord_n forsake_v i_o i_o find_v no_o assistance_n of_o his_o spirit_n either_o in_o prayer_n or_o preach_v but_o be_v much_o confound_v in_o both_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o the_o thing_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o pray_v for_o we_o read_v of_o naaman_n 2_o king_n 5._o 11._o that_o he_o expect_v a_o miraculous_a way_n of_o cure_n i_o think_v say_v he_o he_o will_v sure_o come_v out_o and_o stand_v and_o call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n and_o strike_v his_o hand_n over_o the_o place_n and_o recover_v the_o leper_n so_o have_v i_o find_v myself_o apt_a to_o expect_v that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n shall_v mortify_v and_o subdue_v sin_n in_o i_o without_o my_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o i_o have_v learn_v it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v strive_v against_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o pray_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o spirit_n god_n work_v in_o we_o to_o will_v and_o to_o do_v exclude_v not_o our_o endeavour_v phil._n 2._o 12_o 13._o have_v promise_n let_v we_o cleanse_v ourselves_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o octob._n 17._o i_o be_v immoderate_a in_o the_o use_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o though_o check_v and_o reprove_v from_o within_o yet_o i_o persist_v at_o night_n when_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o chamber_n consider_v what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o be_v sad_a and_o say_v to_o god_n lord_n i_o have_v rebel_v against_o thou_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n but_o immediate_o that_o word_n be_v bring_v to_o i_o dan._n 9_o 9_o to_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n belong_v mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n he_o will_v forgive_v again_o and_o again_o though_o we_o have_v rebel_v against_o he_o o_o the_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o god_n be_v amaze_v o_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o love_n now_o i_o see_v the_o promise_n isa_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v and_o whilst_o they_o be_v yet_o speak_v i_o will_v hear_v make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o the_o evening_n on_o my_o bed_n consider_v on_o this_o love_n of_o god_n whence_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v thus_o gracious_o with_o i_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o from_o mic._n 7._o 18._o he_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n because_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n next_o morning_n at_o my_o first_o awake_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v that_o scripture_n into_o my_o thought_n ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o it_o come_v to_o i_o with_o some_o life_n and_o power_n and_o be_v very_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n oh_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o shall_v so_o soon_o come_v into_o my_o relief_n and_o raise_v my_o soul_n by_o his_o promise_n this_o be_v mercy_n never_o to_o be_v forget_v sept._n 28._o in_o meditation_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o close_v with_o christ_n i_o be_v convince_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o bestow_v his_o son_n upon_o i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o only_o invite_v i_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o command_v i_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o but_o even_o beseech_v and_o entreat_v i_o to_o receive_v christ_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 20._o i_o be_v further_o convince_v of_o god_n real_a intention_n and_o willingness_n to_o give_v i_o his_o son_n from_o his_o patient_a wait_a and_o long-suffering_a in_o expect_v my_o return_n even_o after_o much_o deafness_n to_o the_o voice_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o dally_v with_o his_o grace_n he_o still_o offer_v his_o son_n to_o i_o yea_o he_o press_v in_o upon_o i_o with_o the_o renew_n of_o good_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o have_v quench_v now_o whence_o be_v all_o this_o but_o from_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v thus_o willing_a to_o have_v i_o take_v his_o son_n now_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v withstand_v god_n why_o shall_v i_o forsake_v my_o own_o mercy_n lord_n thou_o have_v show_v i_o that_o my_o former_a revolting_n shall_v not_o hinder_v this_o thy_o mercy_n if_o i_o will_v acknowledge_v my_o sin_n renounce_v myself_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o embrace_v thy_o son_n jer._n 3._o 12_o 13._o o_o lord_n i_o thankful_o accept_v thy_o offer_n of_o grace_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o oh_o give_v i_o thy_o son_n behold_v i_o give_v thou_o myself_o let_v i_o be_v espouse_v to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o be_o willing_a through_o grace_n to_o take_v up_o my_o cross_n to_o deny_v myself_o and_o to_o follow_v thou_o nou._n 1._o have_v set_v apart_o that_o day_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o humble_v my_o soul_n before_o he_o i_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v afflict_v and_o mourn_v under_o sin_n but_o find_v much_o lightness_n in_o prayer_n the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o do_v not_o come_v in_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n with_o his_o quicken_a presence_n so_o that_o i_o lay_v in_o a_o poor_a desolate_a forsake_a condition_n under_o much_o confusion_n yet_o in_o the_o evening_n a_o little_a before_o go_v to_o bed_n seek_v the_o lord_n again_o i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v psal_n 40._o especial_o v_o 17._o i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n and_o next_o morning_n in_o read_v psal_n 9_o 10._o 18._o thou_o lord_n have_v not_o forsake_v they_o that_o seek_v thou_o the_o needy_a shall_v not_o always_o be_v forget_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v still_o to_o wait_v and_o hope_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v seek_v thou_o withhold_v not_o thou_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n from_o i_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o hide_v thy_o face_n from_o i_o o_o when_o will_v thou_o come_v unto_o i_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a o_o let_v i_o not_o be_v forget_v for_o ever_o let_v not_o my_o expectation_n perish_v for_o ever_o and_o now_o o_o lord_n what_o be_v my_o expectation_n it_o be_v even_o this_o the_o giving_z in_o of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n through_o the_o lord_n jesus_n pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n it_o be_v the_o pour_v out_o of_o thy_o spirit_n the_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n it_o be_v a_o heart_n to_o know_v thou_o to_o fear_v thou_o to_o love_v thou_o and_o obey_v thou_o etc._n etc._n dec._n 6._o be_v in_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o spirit_n because_o the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o i_o go_v in_o the_o poverty_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o with_o some_o expectation_n to_o meet_v with_o god_n in_o his_o own_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o from_o his_o word_n i_o see_v it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o he_o send_v the_o rich_a empty_a away_o yet_o he_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n my_o soul_n be_v glad_a and_o rejoice_v for_o a_o season_n but_o go_v into_o the_o country_n the_o same_o day_n among_o friend_n and_o variety_n of_o worldly_a affair_n i_o lose_v something_o of_o the_o savour_n and_o relish_v which_o the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n leave_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o find_v palpable_o my_o soul_n rest_v in_o those_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o grow_v secure_a and_o careless_a from_o whence_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o instruction_n that_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a silly_a wretch_n know_v neither_o how_o