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A79898 A Looking-glass for good women to dress themselves by: held forth in the life & death of Mrs. Katherine Clarke, who dyed, Anno Christi, 1675. Late wife of Mr. Samuel Clarke, minister. Clarke, Samuel, 1599-1682. 1677 (1677) Wing C4540A; ESTC R223051 22,206 99

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troublesome The consideration of these things made me the more to prize Health To be very thankful for it and the more careful to imploy and improve Health and strength to Gods Glory and the furtherance of mine own Salvation In regard of Publick Dangers I have had a great deal of Experience of Gods goodness towards me and mine several wayes and at several times For First When in the beginning of our Civil Wars and distractions I was sometimes overwhelmed with base and distrustful Fears occasioned by my not acting Faith upon the Promises and not remembring my former Experiences nor considering Gods love power and fidelity to his Children in performing his so many gracious Promises made unto them in all estates and conditions and to me among the rest Here upon I resolved by Gods Grace and assistance not to give way to this distrust and diffidence praying God to assist me therein and found more courage then formerly so far as I know mine own Heart though truly the Heart is very deceitful as I have found by sad experience The Lord teach and enable me to rely upon him with more courage and constancy and more to live by Faith upon his Promises then formerly I have done Indeed I have been apt to fall into new fears upon approaching dangers Yet upon successes and glorious Deliverances I have oft resolved never to distrust God again and yet my naughty Heart hath deceived me and made me ready to faint But this I found by Experience to the Praise of my Gods Free Grace that as troubles have abounded my consolations have much more abounded For God brought seasonably into my mind many pretious Promises which were as so many sweet Cordials which much supported and comforted my Heart and upheld my Spirit when also new storms have arisen and unexpected Deliverances have followed I have and do resolve by Gods Grace not to distrust him any more Yea though more and greater dangers shall arise yet will I trust in and stay my self upon him though as Job said he should slay me The good Lord establish my Heart in this good and holy resolution who is able to keep us to the end and hath Promised that he will preserve us by his Power through Faith to the Salvation of our Souls In regard of Satans Temptations Especially concerning my coming to the Sacrament of the Lords Supper my Experiences have been these Finding often that I was very unable to fit and prepare my self for a comfortable approach to that Sacred Ordinance I used to desire the Prayers of the Congregation unto God in my behalf and I used the best endeavours I could in private as God enabled me though I came far short of what was required and of what I desired So that I did trust and hope through Gods mercy to find a comfortable Day of it and to have it a Sealing Ordinance to my Soul But on the contrary I found much deadness and little spiritual tast relish and comfort in the use of it So that my Spirit was oft much troubled and cast down in me fearing lest I had some secret Sin undiscovered and unrepented of which caused the Lord thus to hide his Face from me But then my gracious God brought this into my mind that the Lord doth sometimes afflict us for the exercise and improvement of our Graces as well as to humble us for our Sins I also considered that as the Lord doth tender great Mercies to us in this Sacrament renewing his Covenant of Grace and Sealing unto us the Pardon of our Sins in the Blood of Christ So he gives us leave to engage our selves by renewing our Covenant with him to believe in him and to trust upon Christ for Life and Salvation And it pleased God to give me Faith to apply this in perticular to my own Soul And a while after to shew me and to make good to my Soul that pretious and comfortable Promise That though he hide his Face from us for a little moment yet with Mercy and loving kindness he will return to us again This was a wonderful comfort and support to my dejected Heart Blessed be the Lord for ever I desire to treasure up these Experiences that for the future I may resolve in the like case to put my whole trust and confidence in him that so Satan may not entrap me in his Snares through unbelief but that I may resist him steadfast in the Faith for I am not altogether ignorant of his Devices Gods Promise is that in all these things we shall be more then Conquerour through him that hath loved us And hath said that this is the Victory which overcomes the World even our Faith 1. Joh. 5.4 In the year 1669 there came to us the sad news of the Death of my second Son Mr. John Clarke a godly faithful and painful Minister sometimes before ejected out of the Rectory of Cotgrave in Nottingham-Shire who died the 18th of September Thus as the Waves of the Sea follow one another so God is pleased to exercise his Children with one Affliction after another He sees that whilst we carry about with us this Body of Sin we have need of manifold Trials and Temptations as saith the Apostle 1. Pet. 1.6 now for a season ye are in heaviness if need be through manifold Temptations to keep us under and to make us the better to remember our selves Indeed it hath been the Lords course and dealing with me ever since he stopped me in the way as I was posting to Hell to raise up one Affliction or other either inward or outward either from Satan the World or from mine own corrupt Heart and nature not having Grace and Wisdom to behave and carry my self as I ought under his various Dispensations and Providences as appeared at this time by his laying so great and grievous an Affliction upon me in taking away so dear a Son from whom I had much Soul-comfort and ardent Affections which he manifested by his fervent Prayers for me and by his spiritual Letters and Writings to me wherein he applyed himself sutably to my Comfort in those inward troubles of Heart and Spirit which lay upon me This caused my Grief and Sorrows to take the greater hold on me upon the loss of one who was so useful to me Yet hereby I do not derogate from my Elder Son from whom I have the like help and Comfort Upon this sad occasion my Grief grew so great that I took no pleasure of any thing in the World But was so overwhelmed with Melancholy and my natural strength was so abated that little Food served my turn and I judged that I could not live long in such a condition Hereupon I began to examin my Heart why it should be so with me and whether carnal and imoderate Affections were not the great Cause of my trouble which I much feared And having used many Arguments and laid down many reasons to my self to quiet and moderate my Passions