but Jesus Christ made my faith to fight against it but it was very sad and bitter to me and after I was buffeted God made me see the vilenesse of sinne and sinful thoughts and made me in his strength resolve against all sin and to hate it and to walk colsely with my God and chuse rather to offend all the world then commit the least sinne and to lose all and suffer all miseries rather then commit the least sin For God can make ones own heart and conscience a hell to one and ones bed and all ones comforts bitter as death And I desire to prize mercy and close walkings with God to lie down and rise up with him and to pitty others This precious experience and lesson God taught me by that affliction as by many other and drave sin and vain thoughts from me in some measure making Christ sweet and fulfilling his Word in Rom. 6.14 and Rom. 8.28 My God doth give me sweet experience of the growth of grace in my soul and all from the virtue of Christs blood Before this Sacrament my preparations were not so great as they should have been but my God did drive me from resting on any thing in my self and brought me to him without money and without price and gave me sweet assurance of the truth of the work of grace on my heart I love him because he loved me first and with his loving kindnesse did he draw me This Sabbath when I went to the Sacrament I saw my preparation small and my thoughts not so sweet as they should but my heart desiring the Lord to order my thoughts aright and act my graces in singing part of the 23 Psalm before morning Sermon God sweetly melted me in some measure with some teares of love and after did as it were sweetly take me by the hand set me down at his table and comfortably intimated it was my portion and so I sat under his shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet unto my taste and God did act my faith to take Christ and pardon sanctification mortification in his bloud and sealed deliverance from temptations by his body broken and bloud shed and all the fruits thereof some effects I had afterward and the Word was sweet and I came home rejoycing and resolving to live and die to and for and with God giving my self for ever to him to live and move all in him and by him to rest upon his word and promise and expect to live by him according to it I desire to have such a day again to receive Christ I was many wayes failing all is free grace God doth all that is good in me for I am a hell by nature but I have found most precious vertue in the blood of Jesus Christ that it hath in some measure meekened my spirit and overcome wicked thoughts in me Next Sacrament I was failing in my preparation and acting of my graces and was troubled I had no more light of Gods countenance and my corrupt nature was apt to rise but God kept it down and afterward taught me these lessons by it 1. That sin was not so bitter to me nor so bitterly bewailed by me as it ought the more bitter sin is the sweeter is Christ 2. That God would have me prize Ordinances to enjoy Christ but not to rest upon them 3. That I should live by faith and not by sence yea though there be no sence 4. That Gods loving countenance is better then life and that God would have me depending and contented with whatsoever he will give O that I could learn and practise these lessons which were precious fruits of the Ordinances This Sacrament I was failing in my meditation examination and excitation and my dead heart much hindred me in the service of the living God but the Lord brought me to his table with some assurance it was my portion and I sat under his shadow and he acted my graces I desire to magnifie free grace and to expect strength from him to do it according to the Covenant sealed in his bloud This Sacrament I had some sweet actings of faith above sence and assurance that God was my father and his power and wisdom would order all things for my good This Sacrament though I did not mourn for my sins that did slay my Saviour nor act sacramentall repentance as I ought yet by faith I received Jesus Christ and came home with some comfort and had some softnesse of heart I had sweet expeâ—ience of my Gods answering my prayer in the very thing I desired This Sacrament though I did not receive so much of Christ as I desired yet I had some sweet effects of his blood in resolving in his strength not to give way to unbelief nor sin and desiring to come again to his Ordinance This day I was at a fast and God came sweetly in and melted my heart and made his promise good that they that wait on him shall renew their strength God sweetly answered my 〈…〉 mercy for one of my children This day I did receive Jesus Christ in the Sacrament and came home rejoycing and assured my sinnes were pardoned and that Christ could as well be pulled out of heaven as I pulled from Christ I renewed my Covenant I gave my self to my God for his service for ever This Sacrament I did receive Jesus Christ and sweet influence from him and I desire to honour him in all things for ever in my soul body estate will affections and all I and all I have are his and to be at his ruling in all things at all times These are fruits of Christs bloud I desire to bear about the world with me the dying of the Lord Jesus and to be crucified to the world by his crosse and to do and suffer for him and endeavour the good of others souls and I found my inward man much strengthened and sin weakned This Sacrament God gave me some resolutions but I had not much comfort This Sacrament I had sweet assurance that my sins should be destroyed I kept a fast day by my self to seek help from God in the great strait I was in for no power but his could help me out and deliver me The Lord did graciously assist me and afterward I kept a fast in private with others about it my heart was out of fraâ—e and very heâ—vy and perplexed but God came in and melted and made the duty very sweet and at night a sweet quiet and believing waiting frame came upon my spirit God answered my prayer sweetly and particularly That text in 1 Cor. 10.13 the Lord made good to me I resolved to keep a fast by my self and humble my soul before the Lord and poure out my complaint before him and seek strength from him God sweetly encouraging me with many Scriptures and melted my heart oft pouring it into his bosome and drew me out of my self into Jesus Christ Again I kept a fast by my self to seek
from vain roving thoughts and to fill my heart daily with heavenly meditations and that I may still breath forth sweet ejaculations God gave me Christ and I desire to believe and wait This Sacrament I received Christ by faith and desire to live on him but my errand was for a broken heart and sence of sinne aright and I had sweet meltings This Sacrament I had some hatred of sinne and God brought me home with resolutions in his strength to honour him and act for him in the places where I were going and improve all I am and have for his use and honour and to be more meek to them without This Sacrament God freely gave me Christ and all his purchase and offices and as I went for more faith and wisdome so I came away believeving I should have them God did assist me This Sacrament God gave me Christ and sent me comfortably home This Sacrament I received Christ according to his promise and desire a Law of thankfulnesse should by the hand of the Spirit and in the bloud of Christ be written in my heart and a law of obedience in my whole life and all my conversation This Sacrament though I was failing every way yet God freely gave me Christ his body broken and his precious bloud the seal of the Covenant of Grace and in the afternoon God told me out of his word he would give me a new heart which was that I went for as one end and I desire to wait and believe These are what as yet are only come to hand which Mrs. Scot had with her at Holbourn where she died probably she may have many more in the Country whence she newly came Out of these may be made many usefull Observations for our own Instruction in our going forth by the footsteps of this member of Christs flock As Though not many wise after the flesh not many mighty not many noble are called 1 Cor. 1.26 yet some are Act. 17.12 Many of them believed also of honuorable women which were Greeks and of men not a few Mar. 15.43 Joseph an honourable Counceller which also waited for the Kingdom of God Though vanity be never so much yet grace can overpower all 1 Cor. 6.11 And such were some of you but ye are washed c. Titus 3.3 And we our selves were sometimes foolish disobedient deceived serving divers lusts and pleasures c. When we are making our pursuit to gratify our carnall senses God can bring us to better enjoyments Rom. 10.20 I was found of them that sought me not I was made manifest unto them that asked not after me The Lord took her at her hunting pleasures to bring her to the comforts of his own spirit Any meanes when sanctified can bring us to the Word and so to God as the hurting of her leg did her and the crowing of the Cock did Peter to remember the word Christ spake and to return to him Mat. 26.74 75. The Lord makes some great in the world great in grace also rich in earthly blessings rich in spiritual likewise that they have all things given them for this life and a better richly to enjoy Job the greatest of all the men of the East Job 1.3 And there was none like him in the earth a perfect and an upright man one that feared God and eschewed evil vers 8. Those workings that come from God carry all to him againe She endeavoured to act all for him that had done so much for her the waters that come out of the sea return thither again Rom. 11.36 Of him and through him and to him are all things to whom be glory for ever Amen She was brought home the usuall way of Gods people by the Spirit of bondage to the Spirit of Adoption Rom. 8.15 Ye have not rcoeived the spirit of bondage again to fear but ye have received the spirit of Adoption whereby we cry Abba Father Gods grace works irresistably she would fain have run away from God he would not let her go but carried her through and suffered her to have no power to leave seeking of him Psal 68 18. Thou hast ascended on high thou hast led captivity captive thou hast received gifts for men yea for the rebellious also that the Lord God may dwell among them Such as are most cast down in conversion are usually most lifted up afterward She had great troubles of conscience then and grievous pangs c. And afterward full assurance all her sins were pardoned by the bloud of Christ and great rejoycings The Father made merry with the Son when he returned Luk. 15.23 24. that was driven to husks and ready to perish vers 16 17. The Jailour that came trembling Acts 16.29 afterwards rejoyced believing in God vers 34. The way to make our Election in God sure is by the work of grace in our selves I know it certainly saith she that God did chuse me from all eternity because he had made me to give up my self to Jesus Christ for those ends that Jesus Christ gave himself for me 1 Thes 1.4 5. knowing brethren beloved your election of God for our Gospel came not unto you in word onely but also in power and in the holy Ghost and in much assurance Rom. 8.29 For whom he did foreknow he also did predestinate to be conformed to the Image of his Son Some believers are very high and eminent in the workings and waies of God 2 Thes 1.3 Your faith groweth exceedingly and the charity of every one of you all towards each other aboundeth 1 Cor. 1.5 In every thing ye are enriched by him in all utterance and in all knowledge vers 7. so that ye come behind in no gift 1 Thes 1.5 Our Gospel came not unto you in word only but also in power and in much assurance 1 Pet. 1.8 Ye rejoyce with joy unspeakable and full of glory Act. 13.52 The disciples were filled with joy and with the holy Ghost Acts 9.31 Walking in the fear of the Lord and the in comfort of the holy Ghost Ps 32.8 I will instruct thee teach thee in the way which thou shalt go I will guid thee with mine eye Isa 43.2 When thou passest through the waters I will be with thee and thorow the rivers they shall not overflow thee when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burnt neither shall the flame kindle upon thee Psal 46.1 God is our refuge and strength a very present help in time of trouble Gen. 22.14 In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen 2 Chron. 17.6 His heart was lift up in the ways of the Lord. Psal 119.32 I will run the way of thy commandments when thou shalt enlarge my heart Psal 119.6 Then shall I not be ashamed when I have respect unto all thy commandments She was a believer of the highest form a star of the first magnitude one that had not onely the graces of the Spirit but the sealings and joyes of the Spirit in abundance
almost said she had none in her Family but godly servants and the reason is because if she did not finde them such she would labour to make them such at least conformable to the outward duties of religion which if any after due admonition refused she would not retain them longer in her Family She had a spirit of prayer She practised much Devids Platform of Occonâ—â—cal Government in the to Psalm She had an excellent Spirit of Prayer but accompanied with a rare modesty for though when she had 〈◊〉 Chaplain in her house she was able to perform the duty in her own person with much judgement affection Yet in the presence of those for whom she conceived that work more proper she could not be tempted to undertakâ— it with the greatest Solicitation and importunity In a word to close this first branch of Excellency she was a sincere practiser of that Evangelical Rule Whatsoever things are true Phil. 4.8 whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of good report if there were any vertue and if there were any praise these were the things she thought of these were the things she pursued with life and vigour And thus I have done with the first Ingredient Her Universality Her eminency in grace The second is her Eminencie as she was universal so she was eminent in goodness But herein I have prevented my self in the universalitie neither could I avoid it I could not speak of her graâ—â— but I must mention also her Eminency in those graces And it is well for if that were yet to doe I might be over burthen some I shall adde only the word that this Noble Christian she was as much above the size of other Professors as they are above the size of other men and women not only really good but most Exemplary And thirdly and lastly 〈◊〉 she was eminently good so she was perseveringly good Her perseverance She was no wavering Christian And the reason is because she built not upon the sand but upon the Raâ—â— not upon the sand of imitation the Rule that most tâ—â—â— up their Religion by but upon the Rock and Foundâ—â—â—on of Scripture evidence 〈◊〉 waâ— a most Noble Bâ—rean She took up nothing upon trust but searched the Scriptures whither those things were so which were delivered unto her in the Ministry of the Gospell Act. 17.11 of an honorable extractions To conclude she began betimes and endured to the end It pleased God to convert her presently after her first marriage about 26 yeares since when as she hath often acknowledged she before was a vaine Creature carried away into the same pride and fashions and neglect of God and of religion as other of her rank were The occasion of her conversion was by a dangerous fall from an horse The occasion of her Conversion for in the dayes of her vanity she delighted much to ride a hunting in her vehement pursuit of which games Jesus Christ met her as once he did Paul and unhorst her so that lying at his feet and having received in her self the sâ—nteâ—â—â— of death both temporal eternal she began to cry out as he did with trembling and astonishment Lord what wilt thou have me to do Act. 9.6 Soon after her conversion while it was but yet twylight with her she unhappily fel in to the hands of some Sectaries who did rather perplex her then pervert her How she fell into the Sectaries but God was graciously pleased to make a speedy rescue of this tender convert by the Counsell and wisdome of a reverend holy Minister of an adjacent Congregation But was seasonably rescued with the care and watchfulnesse of divers other judicious Christians who were jealous over her with an holy jealousy I said unhappily but I must recal that word though no thanks to the seducer Godmade it an happy occasion of much good to her soul for the snare being once broken she escaped like a bird out of it she hated herisies schism with a greater hatred and stood unshaken in the truth of God and fellowship with the Saints to her dying day From that time she girded up her loines rejoyced like a mighty man refresheth with wine to run her race From that time I say God carryed on the work of grace gloriously in her soul Her goodnesse was no morning cloud not early dew that goeth away But as the morning light which shineth more and more unto the perfect day Pro. 4.18 the Heb. is to be translated word for word thus The way of the just is as a light shining and growing and enlightning unto or untill the prepared day The description agreeth singularly with this Saint of God the grace of God in her was a light very conspicuous shining in a Gospel adorning conversation and growing or going still ascending and gathering strength and illuminating Scattering beames of of light and warmth untill the prepared day or perfect day the day that is prepared unto perfection And oh how earely did this shining Christian attaine to her prepared perfection Her Sun did set at none day She was translated into the other Orb of glory when she had finished little more then halfe her course in the firmament of grace and the reason was because shee did much work in a little time she ran a pace and therefore arrived the earlier at her journeys end When she came to dye Her death she had nothing to doe but to dye her work was done she had oyl in her vessel as well as oyl in her lamp her graces were in a readinesse her evidences were clared her interest in Christ was sealed upon her heart by the spirit of promise And She her self stood alwayes as it were at the doore of her Tabernacle waiting for her Lord when he should return from the wedding that when he came and knockt Lu. 12.35 She might open to him immediately And happy it was for her she was so prepared for death gave her but little warning Her death not that it killed her outright at the first stroke but in as much as the nature of her distemper was such as that seazing first upon her spirits it rendred her uncapable of speaking much or having much spoken to her the preventing whereof was the speciall care and charge of her Doctors So that had she had her evidences to seek when she should have had them to use her graces to get when she stood in need of her graces death might have bin indeed a surprise to her of the Saddest consequence imaginable Hence I say from the first of her sicknesse to the last She spake not but very spiritual she spake not much but what she did speake was spirituall and heavenly upon the first seizure of her distemper she called her two daughters to her and renewed Joshuahs charge upon them to serve
breaking of our loines Ezek. 21.6 One choice Jewel among the rest God has of late gathered to his Cabinet namely pious precious Mistresse Scott Concerning whom because you desired my concurrent Testimony as being one so well known to me having been a member of my Congregation for divers years together till she came to be under your charge I have this to say She was a Gentlewoman of a choice spirit of a marvelous sweet temper and disposition of an amiable winning carriage and of a truly pious and Religious conversation She was one that made Religion her businesse her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 She made it her constant course vigorously to drive a Trade for heaven and to be pressing towards the mark even the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus She was not like those that Austin speaks of qui utuntur Deo ut fruantur mundo But she made use of the world but as a foot-stool to raise up her soul to the enjoyment of God as her portion for ever She was not weary of Gods service like those hypocrites that said what a wearinesse is it Mal. 1.13 but duty was her delight and sin her greatest burden The world did not make her weary of duty but duty made her weary of the world Her constant frequenting of Ordi ances wherein she was both eminent and exemplary her closest retirements wherein she saw often a glimpse of that glory which she now enjoys in the bosom of Jesus Christ made her long earnestly to be at her fathers house and to breath out her Cupio desolvi Oh that I might be with him whom my soul loveth In brief she made haste to heaven lived much in a little time holding forth the Word of life by a holy and undaunted profession holding fast the Word of Truth by a constant and undaunted Resolution and so finished her course with joy Therefore I conceive that this Text which you sweetly opened at her Funeral was rightly and suitably applied to her Many daughters have done virtuously c. This Testimony I have given not for her sake that is dead but for the sake of those that are living The dead praise not the Lord saith David Psal 115.17 Look as the dead return no praises to the living God so neither do they regard any praises from living men Our commendations cannot help them our discōmendations cannot hurt them as our prayers cannot reach them so neither can our praises profit them But happy surely are they that can tread in the Steps of those blessed Saints that have gone before us whose faith follow saith the Apostle considering the end of their conversation Heb. 13.7 If we do as they did we shall speed as they sped The Lord of his infinite mercy help us to serve our generation faithfully as this eminent godly Gentlewoman did that we may do every days duty with Christian chearfulnesse and bear every days burden with Christian patience and in the midst of all changes straites and stormes hold out with Christian perseverance that in the end of our dayes we may receive the end of our hopes even the salvation of our souls It is and shall be the hearty prayer of Your affectionate loving Friend and Brother in the Lords Work JA. NALTON Mrs. SCOTS own writings which she hath left under her own hand A Little before her death she began to write in a book her experiences of Gods goodness to her and intended to have filled it up but she was taken away before she had done many leaves of it onely she had written before divers things in some papers In the Book she beginneth and proceedeth thus SOme notes to keep speciall things in my remembrance that I may be quickned to answer Gods ends in all his gracious dealings to me to whom all his ways have been mercy and truth and I desire my ways towards him may be constrained obedience from faith and love wrought by his spirit in my heart in all things How God did effectually call me at first to himself I was born a child of wrath and an heir of hell and in my youth was very vile and vain Yet I did duties in a formal way and was very confident God did love me and of my good estate Between sixteen and seventeen I was married and about nineteen year old as I was riding it being hunting time I fell down and put my leg out of joynt which was a great misery to me but in that affliction God did work on me with some convictions and resolutions if I were well again to walk in Gods wayes afterward inquiring his Providence brought Mr. Byfields Book to me the Marrow of Divinity and in reading of it God did convince me of my abundant abominable sins I made a catalogue of them I could remember and was in much trouble for them under the spirit of bondage I think some moneths but I have forgotten how long but God made sinne very bitter to me and broke my heart for my sinne and from my sinne and I know God broke my heart because his love did it many a tear of Love did I shed in the bosom of my God When the spirit of Adoption was come to me then how did I mourn for sinning against the Lord and dishonouring of his dear Name But when I was in the pangs of the Spirit of bondage and new birth I had great troubles of Conscience and grievous pangs and after that dreadfull basphemous thoughts and fain would I have run away from God looked upon his wayes as grievous and had hard thoughts of him but yet the Lord would not let me go but carried me through that I had no power to leave seeking of him and did unhook me and brought me to keep Fasts by my self and to humble my soul before him and shewed me how vile I was in a great measure and made me confesse my sinnes with shame and sorrow Then after this he made me close with Jesus Christ in a promise and gave me full assurance that all my sins were pardoned by the bloud of Jesus Christ fully and I gave up my self in Covenant to him and by his sweet influence and shining of his face and comforts of his spirit and grace he hath made me hate the most sweet and secret sin and my hatred of all sin appears because I desire the death of it and desire to be freed from the enjoyment of the sweetest pleasure of the most secret sin that I may enjoy communion with my God whose love is farre better than life and I desire so to esteem it God hath brought me to Christ and hath made me put on his righteousnesse and hath given me to Christ and given Christ to me and I know it certainly that God did choose me from all eternity because he hath made me to give up my self to Jesus Christ for these ends that Jesus Christ gave himself for me That by believing
she her self would pray with her family once I coming home late unknown to her heard her and she prayed to my very great admiration and satisfaction Twice in the family morning and evening not onely prayers were but something of the word and singing part of a Psalm On the Lords day at noon singing and praying with the family besides morning duries and evening reperitions of the Sermons together with singing of a Psalm and Praying A true sanctifier and spirituall observer of the Lords dayes she was and dared not to speak of any worldly civil though at other times lawful things and oft bewailed the too much liberty many professors take on those days marvailing their consciences were so benummed concerning that Commandment more than others that they could talk of such civil and worldly things then without remorse not considering that Commandement is broken in words thoughts as well as others especially when that place in Isa 58.13 is so expresse against it Not doing thine own wayes nor finding thine own pleasure nor SPEAKING THINE OWNE WORDS viz. upon the Sabbath dayes Besides her privare duties in the family she was very much in secret duties by her self daily her usuall manner was as I have been certainly informed In the mornings as soon as she was up to go into her closet a little while by her self and then went to the performing of spirituall duties together with the family after they were done then she retired into her chamber by her self and read the Bible in order reading and meditating about one hour and then went into her closet afterwards a pretry while Before supper she used to go into her chamber and closet some competent time yea though late when she was necessarily detained abroad before she came home after duties performed in the family at nights when the rest were gone to bed she would walk about half an hour meditating in her chamber and reasoning out any distemper that was upon her spirit to find out the cause thereof and to remove it saying so her heart was brought into frame again and not before Then she went into her closet about three quarters of an hour and this every day She never went abroad but she went first into her closet for some while to prayer and so she did again upon her returnings home On the Lords days at noon after duty done in the family she would retire by herself til they went to the publick worship againe upon the week dayes she would much complaine she was so straitned for time desiring more to speed in secret by her self She was a be lever that had not onely the graces of the Spirit but the sealings and the joyes of the Spirit in her She had much assurance even to the riches of it She knew she was of God and Christ was her Redeemer having loved her and given himself for her and that the Covenant of Grace with all the promises and mercies therein contained and Ordinances were hers And therefore in all places where Providence cast her would she partake of all the Ordinances and not infringe her Christian right and liberty as being tied to one particulat place or people onely living without the Sacrament till she came there againe though ordinarily she looked upon her self as a member of that Church where her usuall dwelling was She was filled with joy and walked in the comforts of the holy Ghost she was of a very chearfull Spirit and grace did carry it on very graciously and spiritually she had much communion with God in all the means of grace the Lord made her joyfull in the duties of prayer the Word was the savour of life unto life unto her and the rejoycing of her heart Exceeding incomes she had at the Table of the Lord there she sat under Christs shadow with great delight and his banner over her was love and his fruit was very sweet unto her taste whilst the King sat at his table with her her spiknard did usually send forth the smell thereof The Lord did grearly blesse that Ordinance of his Supper unto her she said she could ferch from the Lord there any mercy she wanted direction in straights support and comfort in disturbances power against sin and Satan grace to carry her on in the wayes of God c. Much refreshing she had in singing of Psalms she had many and particular returns of prayers from God which she much looked up to him for after she had directed them unto him and took speciall notice of his gracious answers and improved them with thankfulness to his glory She was of very excellent naturall parts full of wisdome and prudence as appeared also in the well managing of her many and weighty affaires and did greatly abound in the knowledge of Divine Mysteries contained in the Scriptures Much weaned from and crucified to the world Whilst her Father Sir Mathew Howland her Unkle Sir John Howland lived she would say foreseeing the same as being their onely heir she was afraid of too much of the world coming to her Never any use or increase would she take for any money 's she lent though to a very considerable summe and time and left under her own hand that her children should take none also for the same after her in case she died before the principall was paid in Her good works and charity not only Hawkherst but Holburn also and other parts can testifie as your self well know and can amply relate Her good works extended not only to her own Nation but also to the Hungarian Scholers who come so far to partake of our practicall Divinity counting her self a Member of the same universal Body with them For divers years often would she have one of them time after time with her whilst in the Countrey and now did take care of one this Winter at one of her sons till next Summer she thought to come again and retake him into her Family Their Land have divers already returned into it that have caused her piety and liberality to sound amongst them there She disdained not to visit any of her poorest neighbours and did love to do it to raise up pity in her towards wards them and thankfulnesse to God for her self who had made the difference Neither did she refuse to do the meanest offices of love for the good of them and theirs Her artire your self knowes how grave and modest it was as also her Daughters without nakednesse or unseemlinesse The gracions Providences of God were exceeding many and very great and remarkable towards her wherein she saw much of her Fathers care and goodnesse which she took special notice of and was abundantly thankful for and endeavoured to improve them answerably to his Glory as appears in her Diary where she hath kept an account of them and also of her waies towards her God as there she often calls him She was like that vertuous woman your Text spake of in her carriages in and toward