offend_v and_o man_n in_o a_o lose_a condition_n but_o present_o a_o remedy_n promise_v go_v on_o i_o find_v the_o paschal_n lamb_n the_o brazen_a serpent_n the_o bunch_n of_o grape_n the_o escape_n goat_n and_o divers_a other_o thing_n to_o be_v type_n of_o that_o promise_a seed_n i_o likewise_o take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o affliction_n of_o joseph_n david_n and_o job_n that_o do_v much_o ease_v my_o grief_n come_v to_o that_o place_n where_o my_o god_n speak_v by_o his_o prophet_n come_v let_v we_o reason_n together_o though_o your_o sin_n be_v as_o scarlet_a i_o will_v make_v they_o as_o white_a as_o snow_n though_o they_o be_v like_o crimson_a they_o shall_v be_v like_o wool_n and_o though_o you_o have_v lie_v among_o the_o pot_n yet_o shall_v you_o belike_o dove_n wing_n cover_v over_o with_o silver_n then_o i_o think_v will_v the_o lord_n reason_n with_o sinner_n will_v he_o vouchsafe_v a_o parley_n o_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o answer_v he_o one_o of_o a_o thousand_o o_o that_o these_o promise_n belong_v unto_o i_o o_o that_o this_o god_n be_v reconcile_v unto_o i_o how_o happy_a shall_v i_o be_v how_o happy_a be_v that_o man_n who_o transgression_n be_v forgive_v and_o who_o sin_n be_v cover_v o_o how_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n unto_o who_o the_o lord_n impute_v no_o sin_n i_o find_v the_o same_o prophet_n isaiah_n prophesy_v of_o my_o saviour_n birth_n in_o his_o 9th_o chapter_n and_o in_o his_o 53_o he_o lively_o set_v forth_o his_o passion_n and_o in_o the_o 55_o the_o lord_n invite_v i_o with_o a_o proclamation_n ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v then_o i_o answer_v lord_n i_o will_v fain_o come_v but_o how_o shall_v i_o come_v i_o have_v nothing_o to_o bring_v to_o pacify_v thy_o anger_n o_o that_o i_o can_v see_v thou_o smile_v upon_o i_o as_o once_o i_o see_v thou_o frown_v how_o happy_a shall_v i_o be_v a_o then_o i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o i_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v that_o jesus_n christ_n shed_v his_o blood_n for_o sinner_n and_o that_o whoseever_n believe_v in_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v and_o i_o be_v something_o encourage_v to_o petition_n in_o his_o name_n on_o this_o manner_n heal_n i_o o_o lord_n and_o i_o shall_v be_v heal_v turn_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v turn_v convert_v i_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v convert_v o_o save_v i_o my_o god_n and_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v take_v away_o this_o stony_a heart_n of_o i_o and_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n renew_v a_o right_a spirit_n within_o i_o restore_v i_o to_o those_o joy_n that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v in_o thou_o for_o thy_o love_a kindness_n be_v better_a than_o thousand_o of_o river_n of_o oil_n o_o cast_v i_o not_o away_o who_o thou_o have_v have_v so_o much_o patience_n withal_o o_o cast_v i_o not_o away_o who_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o dear_a a_o price_n o_o forsake_v i_o not_o in_o this_o my_o great_a necessity_n o_o look_v upon_o that_o ever-streaming_a fountain_n of_o thy_o son_n blood_n which_o be_v pour_v forth_o for_o all_o they_o that_o believe_v lord_n i_o believe_v help_v thou_o my_o unbelief_n o_o pardon_n pardon_v i_o beseech_v thou_o forgive_v i_o all_o my_o sin_n my_o sermon-sin_n my_o sabbath-sin_n my_o every_o day_n sin_n my_o other_o people_n sin_n my_o sin_n of_o omission_n my_o sin_n of_o commission_n my_o sin_n of_o ignorance_n my_o sin_n of_o knowledge_n my_o sin_n of_o presumption_n my_o sin_n of_o wilfulness_n o_o lord_n forgive_v i_o my_o know_a and_o secret_a sin_n o_o pardon_v the_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v commit_v this_o day_n o_o speak_v the_o word_n only_o and_o thy_o servant_n shall_v be_v heal_v amen_n thus_o when_o the_o lord_n have_v open_v my_o mouth_n to_o speak_v unto_o he_o i_o gather_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o strength_n and_o have_v much_o hope_n that_o he_o will_v be_v entreat_v but_o not_o set_v so_o great_a a_o esteem_n on_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n as_o i_o ought_v i_o think_v i_o must_v bring_v something_o with_o i_o to_o pacify_v my_o god_n i_o think_v i_o must_v make_v myself_o all_o fair_a and_o beautiful_a before_o my_o god_n will_v love_v i_o but_o how_o to_o do_v this_o i_o know_v not_o for_o the_o space_n of_o eleven_o year_n i_o seek_v all_o opportunity_n to_o please_v he_o yet_o when_o i_o examine_v my_o way_n work_n and_o action_n i_o find_v they_o be_v so_o far_o from_o please_v he_o that_o they_o be_v rather_o motive_n to_o stir_v he_o up_o to_o anger_n if_o he_o shall_v be_v severe_a to_o mark_v what_o i_o do_v amiss_o many_o time_n i_o think_v upon_o the_o sad_a condition_n that_o i_o have_v be_v in_o and_o how_o the_o lord_n have_v restore_v i_o than_o my_o heart_n be_v elevate_v and_o overjoy_v i_o find_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o love_n in_o myself_o towards_o god_n but_o be_v not_o sure_a of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o which_o i_o esteem_v above_o all_o the_o world_n the_o honour_n of_o god_n be_v so_o dear_a unto_o i_o that_o i_o can_v sometime_o say_v unto_o he_o lord_z if_o there_o be_v no_o way_n to_o bring_v honour_n to_o thy_o name_n but_o by_o my_o confusion_n then_o let_v i_o be_v confound_v but_o sure_a lord_n thou_o may_v gain_v more_o glory_n in_o save_v i_o than_o in_o damn_v i_o the_o dead_a can_v bring_v honour_n to_o thy_o name_n for_o who_o shall_v give_v thou_o thanks_o in_o the_o pit_n the_o live_n the_o live_n they_o shall_v praise_v thou_o as_o i_o hope_v to_o do_v hereafter_o many_o time_n i_o pray_v and_o have_v many_o petition_n grant_v i_o present_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o prayeâ—_n and_o be_v deny_v what_o i_o beg_v but_o have_v what_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o better_a way_n in_o all_o dispensation_n i_o find_v my_o god_n with_o i_o either_o with_o his_o prevent_n assist_a or_o support_v grace_n i_o receive_v innumerable_a favour_n from_o he_o yet_o can_v i_o not_o be_v persuade_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o love_n but_o that_o rather_o they_o be_v to_o augment_v my_o scere_fw-la i_o be_v still_o labour_v and_o inquire_v how_o i_o may_v come_v to_o be_v assure_v of_o god_n love_n which_o he_o be_v please_v at_o length_n to_o show_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n on_o this_o manner_n in_o the_o sixth_o of_o john_n i_o hear_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o he_o except_o god_n our_o father_n draw_v i_o and_o if_o i_o come_v to_o he_o him_z he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v i_o out_o but_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o be_o persuade_v that_o it_o be_v my_o god_n alone_o that_o do_v draw_v i_o to_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n that_o will_v receive_v i_o and_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n in_o john_n 17._o i_o hear_v he_o pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o who_o request_n i_o be_o confident_a shall_v not_o be_v deny_v nay_o further_o by_o faith_n i_o see_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n suffer_v for_o i_o nail_v upon_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o wounded_z buffet_v strip_v and_o spit_v upon_o for_o i_o dead_a bury_v rise_v again_o ascend_v into_o heaven_n and_o sit_v on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o his_o father_n and_o my_o god_n make_v intercession_n for_o i_o which_o give_v i_o assurance_n of_o my_o god_n everlasting_a and_o unchangeable_a love_n in_o and_o through_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n towards_o i_o and_o that_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o i_o but_o for_o his_o sake_n he_o say_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n live_v and_o i_o know_v i_o do_v believe_v and_o be_o regenerate_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1._o because_o i_o find_v such_o a_o alteration_n in_o myself_o that_o whereas_o before_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v there_o be_v a_o god_n now_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v a_o great_a and_o a_o almighty_a god_n and_o he_o be_v my_o love_a father_n 2._o before_o i_o dare_v not_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o heaven_n now_o i_o can_v with_o boldness_n cry_v abba_n dear_a father_n 3._o before_o i_o do_v not_o regard_v the_o people_n of_o god_n now_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n that_o be_v upon_o the_o earth_n 4._o i_o love_v to_o hear_v my_o god_n well_o speak_v of_o it_o grieve_v i_o to_o hear_v or_o see_v he_o dishonour_v 5._o i_o long_o to_o see_v my_o saviour_n and_o to_o kiss_v those_o wound_n from_o which_o issue_v stream_n of_o blood_n which_o pacisy_v god_n anger_n towards_o i_o 6._o i_o rejoice_v when_o i_o think_v of_o death_n know_v that_o it_o be_v swallow_v up_o in_o victory_n 7_o i_o often_o hear_v this_o voice_n in_o my_o ear_n arise_v you_o dead_a and_o come_v to_o
of_o the_o gate_n from_o one_o post_n to_o the_o other_o with_o a_o broad_a blade_n most_o keen_a and_o cruel_a at_o which_o sad_a sight_n be_v almost_o distract_v with_o fear_n i_o shriek_v out_o yet_o have_v not_o the_o least_o power_n to_o stop_v but_o be_v forcible_o carry_v towards_o it_o so_o that_o the_o edge_n of_o the_o threaten_a blade_n meet_v with_o my_o body_n it_o seem_v to_o â—e_v impossible_a that_o i_o shall_v escape_v death_n and_o i_o make_v no_o other_o account_n but_o to_o be_v quite_o off_o and_o part_v asunder_o but_o afterward_o be_v hurry_v through_o with_o that_o irresistible_a force_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o stay_v a_o little_a beyond_o it_o and_o to_o contemplate_v the_o desperate_a peril_n that_o i_o be_v in_o i_o stand_v as_o one_o amaze_v and_o scarce_o know_v whether_o i_o be_v alive_a or_o dead_a yea_o i_o can_v hardly_o believe_v myself_o to_o be_v any_o thing_n but_o a_o dead_a man_n or_o at_o least_o mortal_o and_o deadly_o wound_v if_o not_o woeful_o and_o deplorable_o cut_v in_o twain_o oh_o how_o i_o stand_v tremble_v and_o turmoil_v in_o my_o thought_n until_o after_o some_o time_n the_o vital_a blood_n which_o be_v retire_v for_o the_o heart_n defence_n begin_v to_o disperse_v and_o circulate_v in_o its_o former_a course_n and_o then_o i_o look_v about_o and_o turn_v to_o the_o gate_n way_n but_o the_o appearance_n be_v pass_v away_o the_o sword_n go_v and_o vanishâ—_n whilst_o i_o be_v leave_v alone_o the_o rest_n run_v away_o in_o a_o labarynth_n of_o fear_n grief_n and_o doubt_n free_a from_o any_o wound_n without_o but_o deep_o and_o woeful_o wound_v within_o and_o never_o since_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o god_n grace_n as_o i_o know_v of_o have_v i_o make_v such_o vain_a and_o irreverent_a meâ—ntion_n of_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n but_o good_a god_n what_o be_v thy_o will_n herein_o thou_o who_o be_v not_o tie_v to_o mean_n or_o order_n best_o ordere_v and_o dispose_v of_o all_o thing_n for_o thy_o own_o design_n and_o glory_n and_o so_o this_o be_v i_o be_o sure_a but_o what_o it_o be_v i_o know_v not_o yet_o it_o leave_v a_o last_a impression_n upon_o i_o and_o the_o sear_n be_v still_o to_o be_v be_v see_v in_o my_o heart_n though_o the_o wound_n be_v heal_v but_o alas_o how_o long_o and_o lamentable_o do_v i_o lie_v afflict_v and_o in_o continual_a fear_n after_o this_o every_o thunder_n and_o lightning_n i_o look_v upon_o as_o fatal_a to_o i_o and_o send_v to_o destroy_v i_o and_o then_o i_o will_v fall_v to_o my_o prayer_n and_o say_v my_o creed_n and_o commandment_n and_o to_o my_o sermon_n as_o fast_o as_o i_o can_v that_o i_o may_v be_v find_v well_o do_v at_o least_o if_o not_o as_o a_o charm_n to_o preserve_v i_o or_o a_o challenge_v to_o god_n by_o virtue_n of_o they_o to_o keep_v and_o defend_v i_o and_o i_o remember_v it_o be_v a_o great_a comfort_n to_o i_o to_o confider_v that_o other_o do_v not_o do_v as_o i_o do_v but_o that_o they_o altogether_o flight_v holiness_n prayer_n etc._n etc._n and_o live_v wicked_o and_o carnal_o in_o drunkeness_n disobedience_n sabbath-breaking_a and_o other_o sin_n every_o day_n this_o i_o be_v so_o far_o from_o grieve_v at_o and_o weep_v over_o that_o i_o in_o my_o heart_n rejoice_v in_o it_o as_o have_v more_o hope_n and_o fancy_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a condition_n than_o they_o and_o therefore_o shall_v have_v more_o favour_n from_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n but_o all_o this_o while_n like_o a_o israelite_n in_o egypt_n i_o work_v for_o life_n and_o my_o service_n be_v my_o saviour_n and_o i_o will_v often_o take_v occasion_n to_o discourse_n with_o my_o brother_n sister_n and_o schoolfellow_n about_o heaven_n and_o hell_n and_o what_o a_o hard_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o be_v save_v be_v at_o malden_n in_o essex_n some_o time_n after_o i_o have_v a_o certain_a dream_n which_o seem_v afterward_o fulfy_v it_o be_v about_o the_o time_n when_o the_o spaniard_n and_o hollander_n have_v a_o sea_n fight_v in_o the_o down_n which_o i_o hear_v some_o talk_n of_o it_o fill_v i_o with_o fear_n and_o the_o follow_a night_n i_o dream_v that_o i_o see_v fire_n rain_v or_o rather_o pour_v down_o round_o about_o and_o look_v where_o i_o be_v i_o think_v myself_o to_o be_v without_o the_o coach_n yard_n gate_n of_o my_o father_n house_n i_o be_v much_o affright_v to_o see_v nothing_o out_o fire_n on_o every_o side_n of_o i_o and_o look_v upward_o and_o about_o i_o pray_v earnest_o for_o deliverance_n none_o come_v nigh_o i_o by_o a_o good_a space_n though_o flame_v in_o all_o place_n else_o so_o that_o i_o can_v see_v none_o exempt_v wherefore_o be_v afflict_v for_o my_o father_n and_o our_o family_n i_o fall_v on_o my_o knee_n to_o ask_v mercy_n for_o they_o and_o continue_v pray_v a_o long_a while_n before_o i_o can_v be_v hear_v but_o at_o last_o i_o think_v i_o be_v bid_v to_o arise_v and_o look_v and_o then_o the_o fire_n seem_v not_o to_o fall_v so_o fast_o on_o my_o father_n house_n as_o before_o but_o abate_v by_o little_a and_o little_a till_o i_o awake_v now_o though_o this_o dream_n seize_v much_o upon_o my_o spirit_n for_o the_o present_a yet_o i_o account_v it_o only_o a_o fancy_n till_o about_o six_o year_n after_o meeting_n with_o dr._n draiton_n in_o the_o isle_n of_o ely_n and_o repeat_v it_o to_o he_o he_o declare_v to_o i_o that_o for_o several_a reason_n which_o he_o give_v this_o must_v be_v more_o than_o a_o mere_a dream_n or_o work_n of_o fancy_n and_o that_o something_o will_v happen_v which_o this_o do_v presignisie_n instance_v in_o some_o of_o the_o like_a kind_n which_o himself_o his_o wife_n and_o other_o have_v meet_v with_o as_o warning_n and_o prediction_n and_o therefore_o he_o wish_v i_o by_o no_o mean_n to_o slight_v or_o contemn_v it_o because_o he_o be_v confident_a it_o do_v presage_v some_o fiery_a and_o angry_a dispensation_n upon_o our_o family_n and_o that_o my_o father_n and_o the_o rest_n will_v fall_v undersome_a trouble_n by_o the_o time_n or_o otherwise_o and_o myself_o shall_v be_v free_a and_o at_o liberty_n to_o pray_v for_o they_o and_o that_o by_o degree_n they_o shall_v be_v bring_v out_o and_o the_o fire_n abate_v this_o interpretation_n which_o he_o give_v more_o full_o be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n verify_v some_o year_n after_o but_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v labour_v for_o heaven_n in_o a_o exceed_a formal_a way_n and_o do_v much_o covet_v to_o know_v the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o often_o wish_v that_o i_o be_v a_o minister_n such_o a_o one_o as_o mr._n fenner_n mr._n martial_n mr._n hooker_n my_o father_n or_o some_o other_o eminent_a preacher_n that_o so_o i_o may_v attain_v to_o their_o knowledge_n and_o then_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v do_v more_o abundant_a service_n for_o god_n as_o if_o the_o lord_n be_v behold_v to_o i_o for_o my_o obedience_n and_o shall_v the_o more_o easy_o and_o sure_o obtain_v salvation_n thus_o i_o poor_a creature_n continue_v for_o several_a year_n together_o keep_v many_o fast_a day_n by_o myself_o hear_v read_v sing_v psalm_n meditate_a use_v soliloquy_n and_o pray_v many_o time_n a_o day_n and_o what_o not_o and_o yet_o at_o last_o sink_v into_o the_o depth_n of_o despair_n what_o by_o the_o often_o thought_n of_o hell_n in_o read_v drexelius_n upon_o eternity_n and_o then_o think_v of_o the_o endless_a easeless_a and_o remediless_a torment_n of_o the_o damn_a what_o by_o frequent_a fright_v as_o before_o and_o what_o by_o my_o father_n once_o preach_v on_o the_o parallel_n of_o the_o fool_n in_o the_o gospel_n luke_n 10.20_o thou_o fool_n this_o night_n will_v i_o take_v away_o thy_o soul_n than_o who_o shall_v these_o thing_n be_v that_o thou_o have_v provide_v from_o whence_o he_o discover_v the_o unaccountable_a folly_n of_o man_n to_o lay_v up_o the_o trifle_n of_o this_o world_n and_o forget_v heaven_n that_o eternal_a happiness_n be_v not_o to_o be_v obtain_v upon_o a_o down_o bed_n nor_o without_o much_o pain_n and_o care_n since_o our_o bless_a lord_n tell_v we_o that_o many_o strive_v hard_a to_o enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n and_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a and_o that_o except_o our_o righteousness_n exceed_v the_o righteousness_n of_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n we_o shall_v in_o no_o case_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n matth._n 5.20_o what_o with_o these_o and_o other_o thing_n i_o be_v almost_o throw_v into_o the_o bottomless_a abyss_n of_o desperation_n i_o take_v the_o bible_n to_o look_v these_o scripture_n and_o read_v they_o over_o and_o over_o again_o but_o the_o more_o i_o read_v the_o more_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o horror_n
w._n xvi_o experience_n of_o i._o i._n when_o i_o be_v in_o the_o midst_n of_o my_o wealth_n and_o worldly_a enjoyment_n i_o be_v vain_a covetous_a and_o whole_o have_v my_o heart_n take_v up_o with_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n little_a or_o nothing_o mind_v the_o thing_n of_o god_n or_o think_v of_o a_o change_n but_o go_v on_o in_o presumption_n put_v the_o evil_a day_n far_o off_o minidng_v only_o for_o the_o present_a what_o please_v the_o flesh_n until_o about_o eight_o year_n since_o i_o have_v many_o outward_a cross_n befall_v i_o and_o be_v in_o some_o want_n and_o then_o be_v under_o that_o dispensation_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v and_o full_a of_o grief_n i_o seek_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o beg_v deliverance_n from_o my_o affliction_n and_o distress_n as_o to_o outward_a want_n but_o have_v not_o a_o heart_n to_o consider_v what_o be_v the_o cause_n or_o to_o seek_v out_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n in_o it_o until_o i_o hear_v dr._n holmes_n show_v sin_n to_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o all_o our_o cross_n the_o consideration_n hereof_o do_v come_v close_o unto_o my_o spirit_n and_o i_o have_v a_o clear_a conviction_n of_o my_o vanity_n and_o foolish_a dote_a on_o worldly_a thing_n which_o have_v just_o provoke_v the_o lord_n i_o hope_v for_o my_o good_a to_o lay_v those_o cross_n upon_o i_o which_o though_o they_o be_v for_o a_o time_n bitter_a yet_o god_n have_v since_o sweeten_v but_o my_o sorrow_n be_v then_o double_v and_o i_o be_v deject_v not_o only_o for_o my_o outward_a cross_n but_o more_o especial_o for_o my_o carnal_a heart_n and_o vain_a conversation_n whereby_o i_o have_v stir_v up_o the_o anger_n of_o the_o lord_n against_o i_o i_o go_v to_o the_o ordinance_n hope_v to_o find_v comfort_n from_o the_o word_n but_o the_o weight_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o my_o suffering_n so_o press_v i_o down_o that_o i_o find_v much_o heaviness_n my_o sin_n especial_o lay_v heavy_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o see_v little_a hope_n of_o comfort_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o work_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o loathe_n of_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o trouble_v for_o the_o affliction_n it_o have_v bring_v upon_o i_o but_o about_o a_o year_n since_o i_o hear_v master_n w._n prove_v by_o scripture_n in_o a_o sermon_n very_o effectual_a to_o my_o comfort_n that_o those_o who_o have_v be_v the_o great_a of_o sinner_n if_o they_o do_v hearty_o and_o real_o repent_v and_o turn_v to_o god_n by_o faith_n in_o christ_n and_o lead_v a_o new_a life_n the_o lord_n will_v receive_v they_o to_o mercy_n hereupon_o i_o argue_v with_o my_o soul_n that_o though_o i_o have_v be_v a_o great_a sinner_n yet_o the_o lord_n have_v bring_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o loathe_n of_o those_o sin_n i_o love_v and_o of_o all_o sin_n and_o to_o turn_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o sincere_o to_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o that_o therefore_o there_o be_v hope_n of_o mercy_n for_o i_o i_o hear_v mr._n w._n mr._n m._n and_o other_o and_o frequent_v divers_a meeting_n where_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n those_o several_a place_n of_o scripture_n in_o which_o i_o chief_o find_v comfort_n from_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n be_v matth._n 11.28,29,30_o where_o christ_n say_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n take_v my_o yoke_n upon_o you_o and_o learn_v of_o i_o for_o i_o be_o meek_a and_o lowly_a in_o heart_n and_o you_o shall_v find_v rest_n unto_o your_o soul_n for_o my_o yoke_n be_v easy_a and_o my_o burden_n light_n this_o make_v i_o to_o hope_n that_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heavy_a heart_n lade_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n so_o christ_n jesus_n will_v give_v i_o comfort_n for_o in_o the_o 12_o verse_n of_o the_o same_o chapter_n it_o be_v say_v a_o bruise_a reed_n shall_v he_o not_o break_v and_o and_o smoke_a flax_n shall_v he_o not_o quench_v and_o though_o i_o have_v dishonour_v christ_n yet_o i_o have_v not_o blaspheme_v the_o holyghost_n and_o therefore_o have_v encouragement_n to_o believe_v from_o the_o word_n of_o christ_n luke_n 12.10_o whosoever_o shall_v speak_v a_o word_n against_o the_o son_n of_o man_n it_o shall_v be_v forgive_v he_o but_o unto_o he_o that_o blaspheme_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n it_o shall_v not_o be_v forgive_v i_o be_v comfort_v to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n in_o hope_n because_o he_o have_v humble_v my_o soul_n and_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o see_v mercy_n offer_v to_o i_o and_o this_o be_v strengthen_v from_o that_o example_n lament_v 30.20_o to_o verse_n 26._o my_o soul_n have_v they_o still_o in_o remembrance_n and_o be_v humble_v in_o i_o this_o i_o recall_v to_o mind_n therefore_o have_v i_o hope_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o we_o be_v not_o consume_v because_o his_o compassion_n fail_v not_o they_o be_v new_a every_o morning_n great_a be_v thy_o faithfulness_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o portion_n say_v my_o soul_n therefore_o will_v i_o hope_v in_o he_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a unto_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o i_o be_v much_o encourage_v from_o hence_o to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o i_o be_v a_o great_a sinner_n and_o deserve_a death_n and_o hell_n but_o my_o hope_n be_v in_o god_n and_o strengthen_v from_o that_o promise_n ezek._n 18.21,22,23_o if_o the_o wicked_a will_v turn_v from_o his_o sin_n that_o he_o have_v commit_v and_o keep_v all_o my_o statute_n and_o do_v that_o which_o be_v lawful_a and_o right_a he_o shall_v sure_o live_v he_o shall_v not_o die_v all_o his_o transgression_n that_o he_o have_v commit_v they_o shall_v not_o be_v mention_v unto_o he_o in_o the_o righteousness_n that_o he_o have_v do_v he_o shall_v live_v have_v i_o any_o pleasure_n at_o all_o that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v die_v say_v the_o lord_n god_n and_o not_o that_o he_o shall_v turn_v from_o his_o way_n and_o live_v and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o spirit_n a_o very_a great_a resolution_n to_o serve_v he_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v and_o i_o praise_v my_o god_n i_o have_v have_v since_o much_o joy_n in_o duty_n of_o piety_n and_o much_o sweetness_n from_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o gold_o minister_n i_o have_v no_o desire_n to_o enjoy_v the_o pleasure_n and_o vanity_n of_o the_o world_n as_o i_o have_v do_v but_o my_o heart_n now_o take_v delight_n in_o god_n and_o communion_n with_o his_o people_n and_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n in_o discern_v a_o beauty_n and_o desirableness_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n which_o be_v more_o joyful_a to_o i_o now_o than_o ever_o sin_n be_v former_o and_o when_o i_o come_v at_o the_o ordinance_n i_o often_o find_v and_o feel_v such_o heavenly_a refreshment_n from_o the_o lord_n upon_o my_o heart_n that_o it_o make_v i_o exceed_o full_a of_o joy_n there_o be_v such_o a_o love_n upon_o my_o heart_n to_o god_n that_o i_o dare_v not_o willing_o offend_v he_o in_o any_o thing_n i_o rejoice_v to_o hear_v his_o name_n speak_v of_o and_o his_o glory_n exalt_v and_o i_o find_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n draw_v by_o the_o power_n of_o god_n from_o my_o heart_n to_o such_o as_o seem_v to_o be_v his_o people_n j._n j._n xvii_o experience_n of_o e._n c._n about_o nine_o year_n ago_o at_o the_o birth_n of_o a_o child_n i_o have_v very_o great_a temptation_n of_o destroy_a ing_z myself_o and_o have_v have_v oftentimes_o a_o knife_n put_v into_o my_o hand_n to_o do_v it_o so_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o be_v leave_v by_o myself_o alone_o and_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v what_o the_o cause_n may_v be_v my_o conscience_n do_v hint_n most_o my_o neglect_v of_o duty_n which_o i_o have_v many_o opportunity_n to_o have_v perform_v they_o be_v the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n thus_o i_o continue_v till_o two_o year_n ago_o i_o bury_v a_o child_n which_o be_v a_o very_a great_a trouble_n to_o i_o to_o part_v with_o and_o then_o be_v i_o more_o full_o convince_v of_o sin_n which_o cause_v my_o burden_n to_o be_v the_o great_a so_o that_o i_o can_v seldom_o have_v any_o other_o thought_n but_o of_o desperation_n but_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o by_o his_o great_a mercy_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o can_v pray_v with_o devotion_n and_o discern_v the_o lord_n to_o remove_v this_o great_a trouble_n from_o i_o i_o do_v plain_o find_v that_o those_o great_a temptation_n be_v very_o much_o lessen_v which_o be_v a_o very_a great_a comfort_n unto_o my_o spirit_n but_o yet_o this_o still_o be_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v read_v the_o promise_n but_o i_o find_v none_o of_o they_o to_o belong_v to_o i_o
under_o this_o beam_n but_o step_v aside_o and_o so_o pass_v away_o lay_v my_o hand_n thereon_o as_o i_o step_v by_o the_o side_n of_o it_o when_o sudden_o i_o think_v the_o house_n be_v all_o in_o a_o flame_n at_o which_o i_o be_v something_o trouble_v pass_v on_o the_o way_n and_o wonder_v in_o myself_o what_o this_o shall_v be_v till_o i_o be_v overtake_v by_o some_o rude_a malicious_a man_n who_o accuse_v i_o for_o set_v this_o house_n on_o fire_n and_o will_v not_o hear_v i_o speak_v but_o be_v violent_o haul_v i_o away_o to_o prison_n with_o which_o be_v sufficient_o affright_v and_o my_o stesh_n set_v a_o tremble_v i_o awake_v and_o be_v offend_v with_o myself_o for_o be_v so_o much_o concern_v at_o a_o foolish_a dream_n and_o fancy_n so_o it_o be_v yet_o dark_a i_o lay_v i_o down_o and_o fall_v asleep_o again_o and_o waste_v cast_v into_o the_o same_o dream_n again_o exact_o and_o at_o my_o right_a hand_n i_o think_v there_o be_v a_o grave_a ancient_a man_n full_a of_o white_a hair_n like_o wool_n and_o a_o long_a white_a beard_n who_o stand_v by_o i_o and_o say_v cheer_v up_o fear_v not_o for_o the_o lord_n have_v send_v i_o to_o comfort_v thou_o and_o to_o tell_v thou_o that_o he_o have_v choose_v thou_o to_o preach_v his_o word_n and_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v the_o staff_n thou_o have_v in_o thy_o hand_n and_o wiâ—…_n this_o staff_n which_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n thou_o shall_v walk_v home_o to_o thy_o father_n house_n in_o heaven_n where_o be_v fullness_n of_o joy_n but_o after_o a_o time_n thou_o will_v be_v trouble_v with_o the_o different_a opinion_n and_o way_n of_o man_n and_o seem_v at_o first_o to_o be_v at_o a_o loss_n yet_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v thy_o guide_n go_v on_o and_o as_o thou_o go_v forward_a the_o way_n of_o the_o lord_n will_v still_o appear_v plain_a before_o thy_o eye_n the_o footstep_n thou_o see_v be_v the_o example_n of_o the_o saint_n that_o have_v go_v before_o you_o which_o will_v be_v a_o great_a help_n to_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v walk_v cheerful_o on_o in_o the_o way_n which_o be_v clear_a to_o you_o and_o shall_v see_v no_o other_o but_o yet_o you_o must_v meet_v with_o the_o fair_a house_n on_o the_o left_a hand_n that_o be_v the_o glory_n and_o great_a one_o of_o the_o world_n who_o make_v a_o great_a and_o fair_a show_n to_o man_n as_o if_o build_v high_a but_o they_o must_v fall_v and_o be_v only_o on_o the_o left_a hand_n of_o you_o whilst_o you_o will_v despise_v and_o preach_v against_o they_o and_o turn_v your_o eye_n forward_o to_o go_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n without_o turn_v about_o by_o the_o beam_n that_o come_v out_o of_o this_o house_n be_v mean_v the_o power_n and_o opinion_n of_o these_o who_o when_o you_o shall_v cross_v or_o step_v aside_o or_o will_v not_o stoop_v under_o they_o they_o be_v set_v on_o fire_n and_o inflame_v on_o a_o sudden_a but_o be_v not_o trouble_v go_v forward_o although_o they_o send_v after_o you_o say_v you_o have_v bring_v this_o fire_n upon_o they_o and_o though_o they_o false_o accuse_v you_o and_o seek_v to_o hawl_v you_o to_o prison_n for_o this_o fact_n whereof_o you_o be_v altogether_o innocent_a at_o which_o i_o awake_v again_o it_o be_v about_o daybreak_n wonder_v with_o myself_o what_o it_o shall_v mean_v and_o very_o believe_v it_o to_o be_v more_o than_o ordinary_a anâ—_n be_v fill_v with_o confidence_n and_o comfort_n i_o rofe_n up_o and_z writit_fw-la down_o present_o next_o day_n i_o go_v away_o towards_o huntingtonshire_n where_o i_o be_v accept_v and_o entertain_v and_o have_v a_o comfortable_a maintenance_n for_o several_a year_n but_o after_o all_o these_o deliverance_n i_o multiply_v abundant_o in_o gift_n and_o grace_n either_o to_o pray_v expound_v read_v sing_v hymn_n and_o spiritual_a song_n with_o the_o spirit_n and_o understanding_n and_o as_o israel_n exod._n 1._o the_o more_o he_o be_v afflict_a he_o multiply_v the_o more_o so_o bless_a be_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v the_o more_o fill_v with_o the_o spirit_n endue_v with_o strength_n and_o grace_n and_o refresh_v with_o peace_n and_o joy_n the_o more_o i_o have_v suffer_v so_o that_o all_o my_o trouble_n be_v through_o grace_n but_o as_o joseph_n step_n to_o high_a enjoynment_n and_o find_v the_o lord_n so_o abundant_o to_o endue_v i_o from_o above_o and_o to_o qualify_v i_o for_o the_o call_v that_o i_o have_v before_o in_o the_o night_n for_o the_o ministry_n which_o â—ittle_a thought_n or_o imagine_v can_v have_v come_v to_o pass_v my_o friend_n have_v often_o resolve_v on_o the_o contrary_a and_o all_o thing_n so_o fair_o concur_v i_o be_v much_o confirm_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v design_v i_o thereunto_o and_o not_o long_o after_o i_o be_v by_o a_o godly_a people_n earnest_o importune_v and_o at_o length_n grevail_v with_o to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n and_o be_v soon_o know_v about_o the_o country_n so_o although_o i_o have_v ever_o since_o meet_v with_o several_a affliction_n opposition_n and_o trouble_n yet_o many_o have_v give_v testimony_n to_o the_o word_n i_o have_v preach_v in_o divers_a place_n the_o lord_n be_v praise_v to_o the_o great_a refresh_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o towards_o the_o fill_n up_o of_o my_o joy_n when_o i_o shall_v give_v a_o account_n to_o their_o comfort_n at_o the_o great_a day_n of_o the_o lord_n after_o this_o i_o be_v send_v forth_o as_o a_o pastor_n and_o public_a teacher_n by_o the_o church_n and_o i_o know_v my_o ministerial_a commission_n and_o authority_n to_o be_v from_o god_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o divers_a temptation_n i_o still_o meet_v with_o find_v my_o heart_n full_a of_o corruption_n and_o my_o life_n a_o continual_a warfare_n yet_o i_o bless_v god_n who_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o divers_a way_n which_o i_o have_v not_o here_o declare_v from_o the_o fraudulent_a gin_n and_o snare_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o who_o have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o light_n that_o his_o power_n be_v strong_a in_o i_o than_o any_o that_o have_v be_v against_o i_o and_o i_o be_o the_o better_o provide_v against_o satan_n because_o i_o now_o live_v by_o faith_n in_o the_o son_n of_o god_n above_o the_o letter_n in_o the_o life_n above_o the_o form_n in_o the_o power_n above_o self_n in_o a_o high_a self_n where_o i_o have_v my_o abode_n so_o that_o i_o be_o not_o 〈◊〉_d but_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n it_o be_v that_o i_o be_o what_o i_o be_o i_o have_v provision_n within_o see_v christ_n in_o i_o be_v the_o hope_n of_o glory_n and_o i_o do_v certain_o expect_v salvation_n in_o christ_n jesus_n my_o head_n my_o lord_n my_o elder_a brother_n and_o the_o first_o fruit_n of_o they_o that_o rise_v again_o and_o although_o i_o meet_v with_o daily_a trial_n at_o home_n and_o abroad_o within_o and_o without_o yet_o i_o be_o all_o the_o time_n ascend_v to_o heaven_n the_o same_o way_n that_o christ_n my_o redeemet_n go_v who_o have_v through_o the_o veil_n consecrate_a a_o new_a and_o live_a way_n for_o i_o into_o the_o holy_a of_o holies_n i_o can_v comfortable_o drink_v after_o my_o saviour_n out_o of_o his_o own_o cup_n and_o in_o eat_v his_o meat_n and_o drink_v his_o drink_n i_o can_v take_v gall_n and_o vinegar_n as_o well_o as_o milk_n and_o honey_n and_o i_o account_v the_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v the_o enjoyment_n of_o all_o the_o excellency_n and_o happiness_n in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n nesther_o do_v i_o doubt_v butâ—_n shall_v appear_v perfect_a in_o his_o righteousness_n be_v pardon_v by_o his_o death_n purge_v by_o his_o blood_n sanctify_v by_o his_o spirit_n and_o save_v by_o his_o power_n and_o to_o be_v glorify_v as_o he_o be_v glorify_v and_o see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v and_o whilst_o i_o live_v and_o breath_n i_o hope_v and_o resolve_v to_o live_v to_o he_o and_o for_o he_o as_o well_o as_o by_o he_o and_o i_o shall_v not_o desire_v to_o live_v one_o minute_n long_o than_o it_o may_v be_v for_o his_o honour_n glory_n and_o service_n which_o i_o beseech_v the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n to_o make_v i_o fit_a for_o and_o faithful_a in_o and_o to_o prepare_v my_o soul_n for_o that_o glory_n which_o be_v to_o be_v reveal_v j._n r._n ii_o experience_n of_o r._n w._n i_o will_v declare_v what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o first_o in_o my_o youth_n my_o father_n be_v a_o godly_a man_n in_o dublin_n in_o ireland_n bring_v up_o his_o child_n very_o religious_o but_o for_o my_o part_n though_o i_o be_v well_o educate_v and_o instruct_v yet_o i_o be_v very_o disobedient_a be_v young_a and_o headstrong_a and_o refuse_v to_o hearken_v to_o my_o father_n advice_n which_o he_o often_o give_v
to_o his_o kingdom_n of_o glory_n hereafter_o vii_o experienre_n of_o capt._n j._n s._n when_o i_o be_v earnal_a &_o ignorant_a i_o do_v very_o much_o slight_v the_o minister_n of_o christ_n especial_o your_o long_a preacher_n and_o can_v not_o abide_v that_o any_o shall_v make_v long_a sermon_n but_o at_o last_o i_o be_v take_v by_o one_o preach_v out_o of_o hebrew_n 8.8_o behold_v the_o day_n come_v say_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o will_v make_v a_o new_a covenant_n with_o the_o house_n of_o israel_n and_o with_o the_o house_n of_o judah_n this_o new_a covenant_n make_v in_o christ_n be_v apply_v very_o home_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o touch_v i_o to_o the_o heart_n cause_v i_o to_o inquire_v into_o my_o condition_n hear_v that_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v out_o of_o this_o covenant_n be_v as_o great_a as_o it_o be_v of_o old_a to_o have_v be_v out_o of_o noah_n ark_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o commune_v with_o my_o own_o heart_n and_o to_o inquire_v whether_o i_o be_v under_o this_o new_a covenant_n or_o no_o but_o alas_o i_o can_v find_v no_o satisfaction_n and_o lie_v long_o under_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_v so_o that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v be_v under_o many_o temptation_n sometime_o i_o will_v hear_v and_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o ordinance_n and_o at_o other_o time_n not_o and_o so_o i_o continue_v a_o while_n until_o i_o be_v comfort_v by_o read_v these_o and_o some_o other_o suitable_a promise_n hosea_n 14.4_o i_o will_v heal_v their_o backslide_n and_o love_v they_o free_o for_o my_o anger_n be_v turn_v away_o from_o they_o and_o heb._n 8.12_o for_o i_o will_v be_v merciful_a to_o their_o vnrighteousness_n and_o their_o sin_n and_o iniquity_n will_v i_o remember_v no_o more_o and_o rom._n 5.6,8_o in_o due_a time_n christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a while_o we_o be_v yet_o sinner_n etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o i_o question_v whether_o he_o die_v for_o i_o or_o no_o and_o it_o be_v answer_v yes_o for_o i_o for_o i_o be_v one_o of_o the_o number_n of_o sinner_n and_o ungodly_a that_o need_v christ_n but_o be_v in_o fear_n i_o go_v and_o tell_v mr._n bridges_n how_o i_o be_v who_o indeed_o satisfy_v i_o very_o much_o for_o the_o time_n yet_o after_o this_o i_o fall_v into_o much_o trouble_n and_o have_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n within_o i_o and_o think_v i_o be_v damn_v and_o utter_o lose_v for_o all_o this_o still_o want_v faith_n and_o rest_v and_o rely_v upon_o my_o own_o act_n and_o grace_n till_o the_o lord_n bring_v these_o say_n of_o paul_n to_o corinth_n close_o home_o to_o my_o heart_n covet_v the_o best_a thing_n and_o i_o tell_v you_o yet_o a_o more_o excelleat_a way_n and_o i_o think_v there_o be_v yet_o a_o better_a way_n than_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o for_o which_o i_o be_v trouble_v a_o great_a while_n but_o at_o length_n i_o have_v some_o sweet_a discovery_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o then_o i_o perceive_v the_o most_o excellent_a way_n which_o be_v nothing_o but_o christ_n and_o a_o interest_n in_o he_o whereupon_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v full_a of_o courage_n and_o peace_n love_v christ_n above_o all_o and_o in_o all_o who_o be_v now_o all_o in_o all_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o question_v not_o but_o he_o will_v be_v my_o portion_n and_o inheritance_n to_o all_o eternity_n t._n h._n viii_o experience_n of_o j._n c._n upon_o a_o lord_n day_n at_o night_n i_o be_v earnest_o pray_v to_o be_v confirm_v in_o faith_n &_o in_o the_o right_a way_n of_o god_n after_o prayer_n i_o go_v to_o sleep_v and_o about_o five_o in_o the_o morning_n i_o have_v the_o follow_a dream_n and_o present_o upon_o my_o wake_n i_o make_v have_v to_o write_v it_o down_o lest_o i_o shall_v forget_v any_o part_n thereof_o it_o seem_v very_o strange_a to_o i_o and_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v something_o extraordinary_a therein_o my_o dream_n be_v to_o this_o purpose_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o the_o company_n of_o mr._n r._n the_o minister_n coll._n h._n and_o my_o lord_n c._n and_o that_o we_o be_v all_o go_v together_o upon_o a_o fine_a green_a way_n in_o which_o we_o travel_v a_o long_a time_n and_o then_o mr._n r._n turn_v back_o to_o we_o and_o say_v brethren_n you_o may_v see_v what_o a_o great_a comfort_n it_o be_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o path_n of_o righteousness_n for_o though_o we_o have_v travel_v so_o long_o yet_o we_o be_v not_o at_o all_o weary_a and_o brethren_n be_v assure_v that_o i_o will_v lead_v you_o to_o a_o place_n of_o great_a joy_n and_o comfort_n before_o it_o be_v long_o if_o you_o will_v but_o follow_v i_o then_o i_o dream_v we_o go_v a_o little_a further_o till_o we_o come_v to_o a_o very_a long_a and_o spacious_a place_n wherein_o there_o be_v a_o great_a gate_n and_o there_o mr._n r._n make_v a_o prayer_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v conclude_v the_o gate_n be_v open_v and_o be_v enter_v we_o go_v into_o a_o great_a garden_n where_o be_v a_o large_a pair_n of_o stair_n and_o go_v up_o we_o see_v a_o great_a many_o dead_a man_n bone_n which_o appear_v to_o mr._n r._n in_o full_a and_o perfect_a shape_n of_o man_n as_o ever_o any_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v for_o at_o those_o bone_n he_o make_v a_o stand_n and_o say_v unto_o we_o look_v brethren_n and_o take_v good_a notice_n of_o the_o handiwork_n of_o our_o great_a god_n for_o here_o you_o may_v see_v that_o they_o be_v in_o as_o perfect_a shape_n as_o they_o be_v in_o the_o low_a world_n we_o than_o proceed_v further_o and_o mr._n r._n make_v another_o stand_n and_o say_v unto_o we_o brethren_n now_o i_o shall_v see_v whether_o you_o be_v strong_a in_o faith_n or_o no_o so_o we_o come_v to_o a_o place_n where_o we_o must_v needs_o go_v over_o which_o appear_v to_o be_v like_o a_o deep_a pit_n and_o a_o small_a pike_n seem_v to_o be_v lay_v over_o it_z and_o mr._n r._n say_v come_v brethren_n our_o journey_n be_v in_o vain_a unless_o we_o go_v over_o this_o pike_n for_o they_o that_o will_v see_v the_o habitation_n of_o the_o lord_n must_v go_v through_o many_o danger_n and_o i_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n will_v be_v your_o leader_n he_o then_o go_v over_o with_o as_o much_o safety_n and_o ease_n as_o if_o he_o have_v walk_v on_o the_o earth_n next_o coll._n h._n go_v over_o with_o much_o ease_n also_o and_o after_o he_o my_o lord_n 〈◊〉_d it_o come_v next_o to_o my_o turn_n but_o see_v so_o dreadful_a a_o downfall_n and_o the_o pike_n to_o bend_v and_o shake_v so_o much_o i_o be_v extreme_o afraid_a and_o dare_v not_o set_v a_o foot_n upon_o it_o whereupon_o mr._n r._n cry_v out_o to_o i_o o_o friend_n friend_n you_o have_v walk_v in_o the_o path_n of_o vnrighteousness_n he_o then_o make_v a_o prayer_n to_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v permit_v i_o to_o go_v over_o and_o afterward_o bow_v three_o or_o four_o time_n and_o cry_v out_o with_o a_o loud_a voice_n oh_o thou_o great_a god_n how_o much_o be_o i_o bind_v unto_o thou_o for_o thy_o love_n and_o manifestation_n towards_o i_o so_o take_v i_o by_o the_o hand_n he_o bid_v i_o come_v over_o and_o not_o fear_n and_o then_o i_o walk_v over_o with_o as_o much_o safety_n as_o the_o rest_n we_o than_o go_v a_o little_a further_o and_o come_v to_o a_o very_a fair_a room_n and_o i_o can_v not_o see_v any_o one_o in_o it_o but_o i_o conceive_v that_o mr._n r._n and_o the_o other_o two_o see_v and_o speak_v with_o god_n for_o after_o they_o have_v do_v speak_v they_o give_v many_o bow_n and_o thanks_o and_o then_o mr._n r._n say_v come_v we_o will_v sing_v praise_n unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o promise_n and_o great_a gift_n to_o we_o hereupon_o i_o dream_v we_o begin_v to_o sing_v and_o i_o hear_v a_o multitude_n of_o voice_n with_o rare_a music_n yet_o can_v see_v none_o but_o ourselves_o when_o mr._n r._n have_v do_v give_v god_n his_o glory_n in_o sing_v his_o praise_n he_o rise_v up_o and_o salute_v we_o say_v well_o brethren_n i_o have_v but_o a_o short_a time_n to_o stay_v here_o with_o you_o and_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v among_o you_o i_o have_v endeavour_v to_o bring_v you_o to_o the_o right_a way_n to_o worship_n god_n and_o for_o the_o time_n i_o continue_v with_o you_o i_o shall_v by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n make_v know_v unto_o you_o great_a thing_n than_o i_o have_v do_v yet_o so_o i_o desire_v you_o to_o follow_v my_o counsel_n and_o it_o shall_v be_v for_o your_o own_o profit_n and_o advantage_n then_o i_o wake_v or_o else_o may_v have_v know_v more_o this_o dream_n have_v such_o a_o effect_n and_o influence_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o
especial_o i_o be_v give_v much_o to_o impatiency_n for_o which_o my_o husband_n have_v often_o reprove_v i_o but_o still_o i_o go_v on_o in_o my_o sin_n be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o sad_a condition_n therein_o until_o i_o come_v into_o england_n after_o which_o this_o sermon_n of_o mr._n t._n do_v much_o humble_v i_o and_o wrought_v upon_o my_o heart_n a_o very_a great_a sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n of_o blasphemy_n against_o god_n as_o job_n say_v his_o child_n perhaps_o have_v do_v some_o way_n or_o other_o because_o i_o have_v sometime_o curse_v some_o body_n or_o something_o that_o have_v anger_v i_o and_o in_o passion_n rapt_v out_o sometime_o at_o oath_n many_o night_n i_o water_v my_o bed_n with_o my_o tear_n about_o it_o and_o go_v to_o mr._n west_n a_o minister_n near_o liverpoole_n and_o other_o godly_a people_n who_o use_v such_o mean_n as_o god_n lead_v they_o forth_o to_o for_o my_o comfort_n but_o i_o be_v still_o afflict_v in_o my_o soul_n about_o the_o space_n of_o three_o week_n and_o then_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n be_v persuade_v by_o good_a counsel_n to_o trust_v in_o god_n which_o i_o do_v and_o be_v hearty_o sorry_a for_o my_o sin_n and_o then_o my_o husband_n be_v trouble_v in_o mind_n himself_o and_o the_o lord_n make_v i_o a_o instrument_n to_o comfort_v he_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v but_o about_o five_o month_n after_o he_o have_v abundance_n of_o joy_n and_o comfort_n and_o expect_a death_n say_v that_o he_o be_v persuade_v he_o shall_v be_v kill_v and_o so_o present_o after_o he_o be_v settle_v in_o his_o mind_n it_o fall_v sad_o out_o for_o the_o enemy_n take_v liverpool_n and_o kill_v my_o husband_n and_o a_o child_n both_o before_o my_o face_n and_o strip_v and_o wound_v i_o and_o a_o child_n of_o five_o year_n old_a and_o it_o be_v think_v i_o can_v not_o live_v and_o this_o be_v a_o strong_a trial_n and_o i_o be_v much_o tempt_v my_o sense_n i_o think_v be_v go_v from_o i_o and_o my_o heart_n i_o think_v will_v have_v rend_v in_o piece_n yet_o i_o pray_v and_o the_o lord_n hear_v i_o i_o think_v it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o i_o to_o bear_v but_o i_o remember_v my_o saviour_n word_n he_o that_o will_v not_o forsake_v father_n or_o mother_n or_o sister_n or_o brother_n or_o husband_n or_o child_n for_o christ_n be_v not_o worthy_a of_o he_o and_o i_o desire_v to_o give_v glory_n to_o his_o name_n i_o consider_v that_o i_o must_v part_v with_o all_o for_o christ_n i_o strive_v hard_o against_o my_o own_o weakness_n and_o my_o heart_n say_v that_o god_n be_v just_a in_o all_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o i_o think_v when_o i_o have_v consider_v of_o it_o that_o i_o do_v but_o suffer_v as_o a_o evil_a doer_n myself_o but_o our_o cause_n be_v god_n and_o our_o enemy_n popish_a rebel_n paul_n be_v ready_a not_o only_o to_o suffer_v but_o to_o die_v at_o jerusalem_n for_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n so_o i_o take_v it_o patient_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n and_o believe_v that_o god_n who_o â—us_o come_v so_o near_o i_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o i_o be_v assure_v with_o much_o joy_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v bring_v i_o to_o himself_o and_o in_o this_o confidence_n do_v rejoice_v with_o my_o wound_a child_n and_o a_o little_a daughter_n in_o a_o barn_n where_o we_o be_v put_v have_v get_v a_o piece_n of_o a_o old_a bible_n and_o then_o and_o since_o i_o have_v find_v much_o settledness_n in_o my_o faith_n from_o several_a promise_n of_o the_o lord_n reveal_v in_o his_o holy_a word_n some_o of_o which_o follow_v john_n 15.7_o if_o you_o abide_v in_o i_o and_o my_o word_n abide_v in_o you_o you_o shall_v ask_v what_o you_o will_v and_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v unto_o you_o i_o trust_v in_o god_n never_o to_o depart_v from_o his_o word_n and_o therefore_o hope_v to_o find_v comfort_n in_o the_o end_n and_o do_v find_v comfort_n in_o the_o way_n in_o that_o christ_n abide_v with_o i_o matth._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v though_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o empty_v i_o of_o some_o worldly_a comfort_n yet_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o hunger_a and_o thirst_a soul_n after_o himself_o and_o therefore_o i_o lay_v hold_v of_o this_o promise_n of_o blessedness_n as_o make_v so_o i_o matth._n 15.28_o where_o christ_n say_v come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n it_o this_o i_o have_v be_v and_o still_o be_o much_o comfort_v in_o the_o great_a affliction_n that_o god_n have_v lay_v upon_o i_o in_o who_o alone_o be_v true_a rest_n and_o as_o further_a testimony_n of_o my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o evidence_n of_o my_o faith_n i_o have_v these_o comfortable_a inference_n which_o speak_v much_o peace_n to_o my_o soul_n 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o christ_n be_v more_o than_o to_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n 2._o i_o find_v a_o great_a difference_n in_o my_o affection_n to_o god_n and_o to_o the_o world_n and_o the_o thing_n thereof_o so_o that_o my_o child_n which_o of_o all_o worldly_a thing_n be_v most_o hear_v and_o dear_a to_o i_o yet_o if_o god_n shall_v take_v they_o from_o i_o i_o can_v free_o give_v they_o 3._o i_o find_v the_o spirit_n strive_v against_o the_o flesh_n so_o that_o when_o i_o hear_v dr._n holmes_n speak_v of_o that_o still_a voice_n which_o a_o believer_n hear_v aâ—_n it_o be_v from_o the_o spirit_n it_o do_v so_o enlarge_v my_o heart_n that_o for_o joy_n and_o great_a comfort_n it_o make_v i_o weep_v through_o the_o influence_n of_o the_o spirit_n sensible_o then_o upon_o my_o heart_n and_o so_o at_o other_o time_n also_o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n in_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n which_o be_v my_o great_a joy_n 4._o i_o do_v rejoice_v mighty_o in_o the_o ordinance_n and_o apply_v what_o i_o hear_v to_o myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o when_o i_o hear_v any_o thing_n against_o any_o evil_n that_o i_o can_v apply_v to_o myself_o the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n frequent_o to_o pray_v to_o god_n that_o i_o may_v do_v nothing_o that_o may_v displease_v he_o and_o i_o thank_v my_o god_n i_o find_v a_o full_a willingness_n in_o desire_n and_o affection_n to_o submit_v to_o every_o truth_n of_o jesus_n christ_n 5._o when_o i_o hear_v comfort_n speak_v of_o that_o concern_v i_o i_o be_o so_o joyful_a that_o it_o fill_v my_o heart_n and_o sometime_o fetch_v tear_n from_o my_o eye_n as_o particular_o when_o master_n m._n say_v that_o affliction_n be_v a_o testimony_n of_o god_n love_n to_o his_o people_n as_o lazarus_n be_v fore_o afflict_v and_o dear_o belove_v 6._o since_o i_o hear_v mr._n b._n and_o other_o as_o also_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n several_a thing_n lay_v open_a by_o mr._n w._n in_o some_o case_n of_o conscience_n i_o have_v be_v much_o affect_v to_o settle_v myself_o so_o by_o the_o power_n of_o christ_n that_o i_o may_v find_v peace_n in_o my_o conscience_n in_o all_o thing_n before_o i_o die_v and_o have_v make_v it_o my_o chief_a business_n and_o have_v find_v comfort_n in_o the_o meeting_n of_o godly_a people_n 7._o i_o bless_v the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n my_o affection_n be_v love_v to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o i_o know_v i_o love_v they_o dear_o and_o my_o heart_n rise_v to_o hear_v they_o speak_v against_o i_o have_v rather_o bear_v reproach_n myself_o than_o than_o see_v any_o one_o of_o they_o wrong_v or_o suffer_v 8._o i_o desire_v as_o to_o live_v with_o god_n in_o glory_n in_o heaven_n so_o to_o lead_v my_o life_n to_o his_o glory_n here_o on_o earth_n in_o grace_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o his_o holy_a word_n and_o the_o example_n of_o the_o saint_n therein_o express_v and_o i_o can_v hearty_o wish_v be_v it_o possible_a that_o i_o may_v never_o sin_v more_o and_o i_o have_v i_o bless_v god_n a_o clear_a discern_a through_o the_o power_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n that_o the_o gospel_n be_v the_o word_n of_o truth_n to_o salvation_n 9_o when_o i_o come_v before_o the_o lord_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o emptiness_n in_o myself_o and_o therefore_o trust_v in_o the_o fullness_n of_o christ_n in_o who_o power_n and_o spirit_n i_o find_v much_o comfort_n and_o desire_v always_o that_o i_o may_v come_v prepare_v with_o that_o wedding_n garment_n that_o may_v never_o be_v take_v away_o from_o i_o for_o of_o myself_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o but_o through_o christ_n if_o he_o abide_v in_o i_o and_o i_o in_o he_o i_o shall_v do_v all_o thing_n m._n
〈◊〉_d destroy_v myself_o and_o my_o poor_a child_n and_o cry_v out_o unto_o god_n lord_n what_o will_v thou_o have_v i_o to_o do_v and_o have_v a_o fore_a conflict_n at_o that_o time_n with_o the_o devil_n but_o i_o think_v at_o last_o i_o hear_v the_o lord_n say_v to_o my_o soul_n as_o he_o do_v to_o paul_n trust_v in_o i_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o and_o then_o i_o find_v some_o comfort_n which_o enlarge_v my_o heart_n through_o the_o assistance_n of_o god_n spirit_n to_o call_v upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o further_a assistance_n and_o comfort_n and_o so_o i_o go_v back_o again_o with_o much_o joy_n believe_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v the_o favour_n of_o god_n and_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n to_o go_v to_o one_o e._n b._n that_o dwell_v by_o a_o moor_n side_n near_o leeds_n who_o i_o know_v be_v a_o godly_a woman_n and_o she_o open_v to_o i_o the_o trouble_n of_o david_n and_o job_n and_o give_v i_o sweet_a comfort_n say_v god_n be_v by_o i_o and_o i_o do_v not_o see_v he_o and_o as_o job_n wish_v so_o she_o wrought_v upon_o my_o heart_n to_o wish_v o_o that_o i_o can_v see_v he_o o_o that_o i_o can_v behold_v he_o and_o my_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o joy_n and_o i_o cry_v and_o be_v much_o grieve_v with_o very_o great_a repentance_n that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o seduce_v and_o do_v so_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n and_o have_v be_v so_o blind_v and_o the_o lord_n set_v it_o upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o though_o i_o have_v lay_v all_o aside_o yet_o now_o i_o shall_v come_v out_o of_o the_o wilderness_n lean_v on_o my_o belove_a and_o i_o have_v a_o great_a affection_n to_o the_o way_n of_o god_n than_o ever_o and_o delight_v in_o they_o more_o than_o ever_o before_o they_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o now_o they_o be_v easy_a and_o sweet_a be_v at_o york_n i_o hear_v a_o minister_n there_o out_o of_o hosea_n 2._o preach_v that_o which_o wrought_v much_o comfort_n in_o i_o and_o that_o christ_n have_v promise_v to_o betrothe_v himself_o to_o every_o believer_n and_o then_o and_o since_o i_o have_v much_o joy_n in_o the_o promise_n of_o god_n and_o can_v through_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v in_o my_o heart_n lay_v hold_v by_o faith_n on_o they_o as_o my_o particular_a interest_n as_o rom._n 10.4_o christ_n be_v the_o end_n of_o the_o law_n for_o righteousness_n to_o every_o one_o that_o believe_v christ_n by_o h_z spirit_n have_v wrought_v belief_n in_o i_o both_o in_o his_o promise_n and_o threaten_n and_o to_o live_v according_a to_o his_o word_n therefore_o i_o conclude_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v by_o the_o righteousness_n of_o my_o saviour_n rom._n 9.4_o who_o be_v israelites_n to_o who_o pertain_v the_o adoption_n and_o the_o glory_n and_o the_o covenant_n and_o the_o give_v of_o the_o law_n and_o the_o service_n of_o god_n and_o the_o promise_n i_o know_v that_o every_o believer_n be_v a_o true_a israelite_n and_o bring_v under_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n by_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o therefore_o the_o promise_n of_o grace_n and_o salvation_n belong_v to_o i_o rom._n 3.21,22_o but_o now_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n without_o the_o law_n be_v manifest_v be_v witness_v by_o the_o law_n and_o the_o prophet_n even_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n which_o be_v by_o faith_n of_o jesus_n unto_o all_o and_o upon_o all_o they_o that_o believe_v for_o there_o be_v no_o difference_n i_o be_v one_o who_o god_n have_v draw_v to_o believe_v it_o be_v manifest_v unto_o i_o that_o i_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o the_o righteousness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n to_o justify_v i_o before_o god_n by_o his_o merit_n which_o be_v make_v i_o by_o faith_n hosea_n 2.19,20_o i_o will_v betrothe_v thou_o unto_o i_o for_o ever_o yea_o i_o will_v beter_v thou_o unto_o i_o in_o righteousness_n and_o in_o judgement_n and_o in_o love_a kindness_n and_o in_o mercy_n i_o will_v even_o betrothe_v thou_o unto_o i_o in_o faithfulness_n and_o thou_o shall_v know_v the_o lord_n i_o find_v great_a comfort_n from_o this_o promise_n in_o that_o the_o lord_n double_v and_o treble_v his_o promise_n and_o enlarge_v himself_o so_o free_o to_o the_o soul_n and_o as_o testimony_n of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n and_o union_n with_o jesus_n christ_n and_o that_o reconciliaon_n be_v make_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n i_o find_v these_o real_a evidence_n wrought_v by_o god_n bless_a spirit_n in_o i_o 1._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n great_a love_n to_o god_n that_o when_o god_n say_v seek_v my_o face_n my_o heart_n rejoin_v again_o say_v thy_o face_n lord_n will_v i_o seek_v and_o i_o find_v nothing_o so_o dear_a to_o i_o as_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o i_o can_v bear_v and_o suffer_v any_o thing_n to_o bring_v glory_n to_o god_n account_v all_o thing_n but_o dung_n and_o dross_n below_o christ_n 2._o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o flesh_n arise_v against_o the_o motion_n of_o god_n spirit_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o good_a or_o to_o do_v evil_a i_o find_v frequent_o the_o power_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o subdue_v my_o heart_n not_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o flesh_n but_o to_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n and_o yet_o i_o be_o so_o sensible_a of_o my_o infirmity_n that_o all_o that_o i_o do_v or_o can_v do_v be_v nothing_o but_o as_o filthy_a rag_n but_o i_o know_v jesus_n christ_n be_v my_o saviour_n and_o stand_v engage_v for_o i_o and_o when_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a i_o find_v the_o spirit_n thirst_v after_o god_n 3._o i_o find_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o very_a great_a thirst_v after_o the_o ordinance_n and_o a_o great_a enlargement_n of_o heart_n and_o comfort_n in_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v delight_v to_o be_v among_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o full_a of_o joy_n in_o they_o 4._o when_o thought_n of_o want_n at_o any_o time_n arise_v i_o find_v full_a satisfaction_n in_o the_o better_a part_n which_o never_o can_v be_v take_v from_o i_o which_o be_v my_o interest_n in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o i_o find_v in_o my_o conscience_n a_o great_a testimony_n of_o my_o spiritual_a union_n with_o god_n and_o that_o i_o be_o so_o separate_v from_o the_o world_n in_o my_o affection_n that_o god_n have_v draw_v i_o to_o himself_o 5._o god_n who_o search_v the_o heart_n know_v what_o be_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o spirit_n because_o he_o make_v intercession_n for_o the_o saint_n according_a to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n which_o will_v of_o god_n i_o find_v a_o free_a submission_n to_o in_o my_o heart_n with_o joy_n know_v that_o all_o thing_n shall_v work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n 6._o it_o be_v the_o chief_a desire_n of_o my_o heart_n that_o god_n will_v keep_v i_o close_o to_o my_o duty_n and_o i_o have_v abundance_n of_o joy_n in_o communion_n with_o the_o lord_n which_o be_v more_o sweet_a to_o i_o than_o my_o joy_n in_o any_o thing_n else_o 7._o i_o delight_v much_o to_o speak_v of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o way_n and_o to_o use_v what_o mean_v i_o can_v to_o comfort_v the_o saint_n who_o i_o love_v dear_o and_o if_o possible_a to_o convert_v sinner_n d._n m._n xix_o experience_n of_o ae_n l._n i_o have_v late_o great_a grief_n upon_o my_o spirit_n about_o a_o daughter_n which_o be_v bring_v to_o great_a suffering_n and_o by_o reason_n of_o she_o go_v away_o in_o her_o affliction_n i_o think_v she_o have_v make_v away_o herself_o god_n put_v it_o into_o my_o thought_n to_o remember_v my_o sin_n and_o that_o he_o have_v lay_v this_o affliction_n upon_o i_o for_o neglect_v my_o duty_n to_o he_o and_o not_o serve_v he_o as_o i_o ought_v this_o cause_v great_a sorrow_n in_o i_o and_o make_v i_o abundant_o shed_v tear_n my_o sin_n i_o think_v be_v the_o occasion_n that_o the_o lord_n make_v she_o so_o great_a a_o cross_n to_o i_o for_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v it_o so_o that_o both_o become_v a_o great_a grief_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o thus_o i_o lie_v languish_v in_o very_o great_a sorrow_n then_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o there_o be_v no_o refuge_n but_o only_o in_o christ_n and_o i_o consult_v my_o thought_n how_o to_o go_v to_o good_a company_n and_o meeting_n where_o i_o may_v find_v comfort_n from_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o about_o two_o year_n since_o one_o morning_n i_o come_v to_o mr._n s._n to_o join_v with_o godly_a people_n that_o come_v thither_o to_o prayer_n though_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o distraction_n in_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o show_v my_o discontent_n and_o condition_n to_o he_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o
joshua_n that_o i_o and_o my_o house_n will_v serve_v the_o lord_n and_o although_o it_o be_v a_o bitter_a pill_n to_o i_o to_o bear_v the_o cross_n before_o yet_o now_o my_o god_n have_v make_v it_o easy_a and_o i_o praise_v the_o lord_n through_o his_o grace_n i_o can_v go_v under_o it_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o comfort_n and_o he_o have_v now_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n of_o his_o work_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o before_o be_v wonderful_a strange_a to_o i_o many_o special_a promise_n i_o find_v great_a comfort_n in_o some_o that_o i_o remember_v be_v these_o that_o follow_v viz._n 1_o pet._n 5.6,7_o humble_a yourselves_o therefore_o under_o the_o mighty_a hand_n of_o god_n that_o he_o may_v exalt_v you_o in_o due_a time_n cast_v all_o your_o care_n on_o he_o for_o he_o care_v for_o you_o this_o promise_n i_o have_v find_v of_o a_o truth_n make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o some_o measure_n i_o have_v apply_v it_o often_o and_o have_v find_v the_o comfort_n of_o it_o 2_o con._n 1.29_o my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o from_o this_o place_n i_o find_v much_o comfort_n know_v the_o fullness_n of_o so_o glorious_a a_o portion_n jam._n 1.2,3,4_o count_v it_o all_o joy_n when_o you_o fall_v into_o divers_a temptation_n know_v this_o that_o the_o trial_n of_o your_o faith_n work_v patience_n but_o let_v patience_n have_v her_o perfect_a work_n that_o you_o may_v be_v perfect_a and_o entire_a want_v nothing_o this_o administer_v great_a joy_n to_o i_o against_o all_o temptation_n isa_n 55.1_o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n of_o life_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o tâ—…uy_v and_o eat_v this_o give_v great_a comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n at_o several_a time_n though_o it_o be_v so_o much_o cast_v down_o and_o that_o which_o give_v i_o great_a content_n and_o comfort_n be_v the_o seal_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n give_v evidence_n of_o peace_n in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n by_o these_o testimony_n 1._o my_o love_n to_o god_n be_v so_o that_o i_o be_o confident_a if_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o with_o his_o spirit_n which_o at_o this_o time_n he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o i_o can_v be_v content_a to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n or_o lay_v down_o my_o lise_fw-fr for_o his_o glory_n if_o he_o will_v call_v i_o to_o it_o 2._o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v so_o toâ—inrich_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o spirit_n that_o i_o loathe_v the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n when_o they_o will_v draw_v i_o in_o any_o thing_n from_o submit_v to_o the_o motion_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o my_o heart_n i_o once_o think_v nothing_o can_v have_v draw_v i_o from_o the_o love_n of_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n but_o now_o i_o do_v as_o much_o disdain_v they_o for_o god_n and_o more_o than_o then_o i_o love_v they_o 3._o i_o desire_v to_o follow_v god_n ordinance_n and_o find_v great_a enlargment_n of_o my_o heart_n to_o god_n both_o to_o and_o in_o the_o ordinance_n and_o particular_o from_o mr._n s._n mr._n w._n and_o other_o from_o who_o many_o thing_n have_v fall_v that_o have_v much_o refresh_v my_o soul_n and_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n in_o duty_n to_o god_n more_o refresh_v than_o in_o any_o thing_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o peace_n in_o my_o conscience_n because_o of_o a_o free_a submission_n which_o his_o spirit_n have_v wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n to_o all_o the_o command_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o i_o find_v comfort_n in_o that_o true_a circumcision_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n wrought_v by_o his_o spirit_n 5._o i_o find_v every_o every_o day_n so_o great_a a_o peace_n in_o my_o soul_n and_o such_o comfort_n in_o god_n that_o i_o can_v be_v willing_a and_o i_o bless_v god_n find_v in_o myself_o a_o readiness_n to_o die_v every_o moment_n xxii_o experience_n of_o a._n a._n about_o two_o year_n since_o my_o husband_n be_v sore_o wound_v which_o i_o take_v as_o a_o great_a trial_n not_o have_v above_o a_o month_n to_o go_v with_o child_n and_o i_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o and_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n after_o i_o be_v up_o all_o my_o child_n be_v sick_a together_o of_o the_o small_a pox._n yet_o all_o this_o do_v not_o work_v upon_o i_o inward_o so_o sensible_o as_o about_o a_o month_n afterward_o that_o one_o of_o my_o child_n die_v sudden_o when_o i_o think_v he_o have_v be_v near_o well_o than_o i_o say_v the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n think_v that_o the_o lord_n have_v warn_v i_o by_o fatherly_a threaten_n before_o but_o i_o do_v not_o hearken_v to_o he_o and_o therefore_o i_o think_v he_o smite_v i_o now_o by_o the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n but_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o enter_v into_o any_o particular_a sin_n that_o god_n shall_v strike_v at_o only_o in_o general_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n to_o lay_v open_a my_o sin_n to_o i_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v that_o the_o lord_n take_v my_o child_n so_o sudden_o from_o i_o but_o be_v comfort_v by_o mr._n strong_a in_o some_o sermon_n preach_v from_o the_o word_n the_o church_n to_o paul_n go_v to_o suffer_v at_o jerusalem_n act_v 21.14_o when_o he_o will_v not_o be_v persuade_v we_o cease_v say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v so_o i_o be_v settle_v pretty_a well_o in_o my_o thought_n till_o sudden_o the_o lord_n strike_v the_o elder_a of_o my_o two_o child_n then_o live_v which_o be_v a_o boy_n my_o other_o which_o be_v a_o girl_n i_o do_v not_o so_o much_o value_n but_o now_o i_o do_v and_o know_v god_n mercy_n in_o spare_v she_o but_o my_o child_n that_o then_o dye_v be_v the_o chief_a comfort_n that_o my_o heart_n be_v fix_v upon_o in_o this_o world_n which_o be_v so_o great_a a_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o i_o have_v sleep_v few_o night_n quiet_a i_o desire_v to_o know_v the_o mind_n of_o god_n what_o he_o will_v do_v with_o i_o sometime_o i_o shall_v have_v difpair_v through_o great_a busfeting_n inward_o but_o that_o the_o lord_n sustain_v i_o sometime_o i_o think_v that_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n be_v hindle_v against_o i_o think_v never_o to_o have_v comfort_n in_o this_o world_n again_o but_o bless_v be_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o he_o have_v often_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o i_o have_v think_v he_o do_v it_o in_o love_n to_o i_o yet_o sometime_o i_o have_v fear_v that_o i_o shall_v despair_v and_o that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v against_o i_o in_o it_o have_v be_v trouble_v with_o thought_n that_o i_o be_v the_o death_n of_o my_o child_n thus_o i_o have_v be_v between_o hope_n and_o despair_v and_o can_v not_o find_v what_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v in_o it_o towards_o i_o and_o i_o have_v fear_n that_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n be_v still_o against_o i_o for_o further_a punishment_n because_o i_o have_v have_v many_o temptation_n upon_o i_o in_o low_a thought_n of_o god_n but_o i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n and_o desire_v the_o lord_n to_o deliver_v i_o and_o discover_v his_o mind_n to_o i_o in_o every_o thing_n that_o i_o do_v and_o have_v find_v a_o willingness_n to_o part_v with_o any_o thing_n even_o to_o cut_v off_o a_o limb_n or_o any_o thing_n if_o i_o can_v find_v out_o what_o it_o be_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v find_v a_o good_a spirit_n resist_v the_o bad_a yet_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o fear_n that_o i_o be_v not_o a_o child_n of_o god_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o comfort_v i_o in_o this_o that_o paul_n life_n be_v subject_a to_o temptation_n therefore_o i_o have_v hope_n and_o cast_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n resolve_v that_o if_o i_o perish_v i_o perish_v never_o dare_v to_o offend_v willing_o in_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n yet_o i_o know_v i_o be_o a_o wretched_a sinner_n but_o i_o humble_o desire_v to_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n so_o far_o as_o i_o be_o able_a and_o in_o that_o i_o can_v say_v with_o david_n psal_n 42.1_o as_o the_o heart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n i_o find_v comfort_n with_o he_o to_o say_v why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n and_o why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o countenance_n verse_n 5._o and_o i_o will_v look_v unto_o the_o lord_n with_o the_o prophet_n micha_n i_o will_v wait_v for_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n my_o god_n will_v hear_v i_o mich._n 7.7_o and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n in_o apply_v several_a promise_n to_o my_o
those_o many_o actual_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v personal_o commit_v but_o i_o be_o justify_v by_o christ_n 14._o i_o desire_v to_o show_v my_o dutiful_a love_n in_o obedience_n to_o my_o father_n command_n and_o my_o affection_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o christ_n my_o husband_n with_o who_o i_o be_o spiritual_o marry_v 15._o the_o lord_n say_v come_v out_o from_o among_o they_o all_o you_o my_o people_n and_o be_v you_o separate_v and_o touch_v no_o unclean_a thing_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n and_o you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o if_o i_o regard_v iniquity_n in_o my_o heart_n the_o lord_n will_v not_o hear_v my_o prayer_n i_o take_v god_n to_o witness_v who_o know_v the_o secret_n of_o all_o heart_n that_o i_o desire_v to_o join_v in_o duty_n not_o to_o the_o end_n that_o other_o shall_v have_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o i_o know_v i_o must_v leave_v all_o worldly_a relation_n how_o soon_o i_o know_v not_o but_o herein_o i_o shall_v have_v peace_n that_o i_o do_v as_o my_o father_n have_v command_v i_o and_o i_o rejoice_v in_o christ_n jesus_n put_v no_o confidence_n in_o the_o flesh_n but_o only_o in_o the_o merit_n of_o my_o saviour_n m._n m._n xxvi_o experience_n of_o h._n w._n when_o my_o god_n appear_v through_o his_o grace_n to_o shine_v by_o his_o sacred_a spirit_n into_o my_o dark_a soul_n my_o thought_n be_v much_o take_v up_o in_o consideration_n of_o my_o sad_a and_o deplorable_a condition_n under_o the_o curse_n by_o nature_n yet_o so_o that_o i_o do_v withal_o see_v enough_o in_o christ_n to_o deliver_v i_o from_o all_o if_o i_o do_v attain_v to_o a_o true_a belief_n but_o my_o perplex_a soul_n drink_v deep_a of_o the_o bitter_a dregs_n of_o a_o sorrowful_a cup_n before_o i_o can_v taste_v of_o the_o sweet_a cordial_n my_o bless_a saviour_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o wherewith_o i_o have_v since_o be_v often_o refresh_v my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o ever_o expect_v deliverance_n from_o sin_n death_n and_o hell_n and_o to_o have_v favour_n with_o god_n i_o must_v devote_v my_o heart_n to_o he_o alone_o but_o yet_o i_o find_v the_o love_n of_o some_o worldly_a vanity_n root_v so_o fast_o in_o my_o affection_n that_o i_o do_v often_o put_v god_n off_o and_o have_v a_o eye_n to_o some_o worldly_a content_n which_o deprive_v i_o for_o that_o time_n of_o enjoy_v peace_n in_o his_o presence_n i_o often_o say_v lord_n such_o a_o day_n i_o will_v leave_v all_o and_o never_o seek_v myself_o but_o thy_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o then_o again_o lord_n after_o such_o a_o merry_a meeting_n than_o i_o will_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o temporal_a delight_n and_o again_o now_o lord_n once_o more_o i_o will_v have_v but_o one_o day_n of_o pleasure_n and_o then_o i_o will_v part_v with_o all_o that_o offend_v thou_o and_o not_o seek_v after_o any_o thing_n out_o of_o thou_o more_o but_o for_o a_o time_n all_o this_o prove_v but_o unfaithfulness_n to_o my_o saviour_n and_o wound_n to_o my_o own_o spirit_n the_o sense_n whereof_o do_v sad_o terrify_v my_o conscience_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o cast_v down_o and_o i_o sit_v up_o a_o great_a part_n of_o many_o night_n when_o all_o the_o family_n where_o i_o than_o live_v be_v in_o bed_n and_o with_o a_o heavy_a heart_n and_o flood_n of_o tear_n gush_v from_o my_o sorrowful_a eye_n i_o be_v exceed_o disquiet_v pour_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o god_n and_o beg_a mercy_n at_o the_o footstool_n of_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o that_o which_o be_v the_o great_a horror_n upon_o my_o spirit_n be_v that_o i_o can_v not_o manifest_v my_o believe_v by_o a_o pious_a spiritual_a conversation_n in_o a_o faithful_a obedience_n according_a to_o the_o sacred_a rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n when_o i_o have_v have_v resolution_n for_o worldly_a pleasure_n to_o satisfy_v the_o desire_n of_o nature_n it_o have_v take_v away_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o heart_n from_o spiritual_a duty_n in_o the_o interim_n but_o i_o find_v in_o my_o soul_n a_o great_a conffict_n in_o wrestle_v against_o those_o sad_a temptation_n my_o conscience_n convince_a i_o how_o great_a a_o enemy_n i_o be_v to_o my_o soul_n therein_o and_o testify_v that_o it_o will_v be_v infinite_o better_a to_o leave_v all_o the_o vain_a thing_n of_o the_o world_n than_o to_o live_v without_o the_o love_n of_o my_o saviour_n but_o when_o my_o god_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o frame_n to_o resolve_v serious_o never_o to_o delay_v with_o god_n a_o moment_n more_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o fix_v on_o my_o saviour_n that_o i_o see_v a_o sufficiency_n in_o he_o under_o any_o dispensation_n i_o taste_v a_o great_a sweetness_n in_o the_o grace_n of_o his_o spirit_n than_o in_o any_o temporal_a pleasure_n and_o i_o find_v much_o of_o the_o love_n grace_n spirit_n and_o power_n of_o my_o dear_a saviour_n appear_v to_o refresh_v my_o trouble_a soul_n and_o i_o have_v find_v much_o comfort_n from_o divers_a promise_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o particular_o isa_n 49.8,8_o i_o will_v preserve_v thou_o and_o give_v thou_o for_o a_o covenant_n of_o the_o people_n to_o establish_v the_o earth_n and_o to_o cause_n to_o inherit_v the_o desolate_a heritage_n that_o thou_o may_v say_v to_o the_o prisoner_n go_v forth_o to_o they_o that_o be_v in_o darkness_n show_v yourselves_o though_o i_o be_v before_o a_o prisoner_n to_o worldly_a vanity_n and_o shut_v up_o in_o darkness_n yet_o christ_n be_v send_v to_o declare_v the_o covenant_n to_o such_o i_o find_v good_a warrant_n to_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o ezek._n 34.22_o therefore_o will_v i_o save_v my_o flock_n and_o they_o shall_v be_v no_o more_o a_o prey_n tâ—…_n salvation_n i_o apply_v as_o promise_v to_o i_o consider_v that_o though_o i_o be_v a_o sinful_a man_n yet_o it_o be_v my_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v my_o god_n vers_fw-la 31._o and_o you_o my_o flock_n the_o flock_n of_o my_o pasture_n be_v man_n and_o i_o be_o your_o god_n mat._n 5.6_o bless_a be_v they_o which_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v fill_v god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o my_o saviour_n and_o my_o god_n above_o all_o thing_n i_o believe_v this_o promise_n be_v make_v to_o i_o with_o many_o more_o which_o give_v much_o sweet_a comfort_n and_o consolation_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n i_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o testimony_n of_o which_o faith_n be_v seal_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n in_o these_o demonstration_n 1._o i_o find_v many_o evident_a testimony_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o which_o have_v draw_v forth_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o high_a esteem_n of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o above_o all_o thing_n 2._o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o sin_n in_o myself_o and_o my_o trust_n be_v in_o my_o saviour_n merit_n for_o justification_n 3._o i_o feel_v glorious_a refreshment_n from_o the_o heavenly_a gale_n of_o god_n bless_a spirit_n breathe_v his_o grace_n into_o my_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o high_a bliss_n i_o can_v desire_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n 4._o i_o find_v much_o comfort_n from_o the_o word_n and_o ordinance_n 5._o my_o chief_a desire_n in_o all_o thing_n be_v to_o glorify_v god_n 6._o i_o find_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n or_o any_o that_o i_o judge_v so_o to_o be_v 7._o i_o desire_v to_o be_v at_o peace_n with_o and_o do_v all_o the_o good_a i_o can_v to_o all_o especial_o those_o of_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n 8._o i_o can_v hearty_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o deliverance_n from_o and_o strength_n against_o every_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o please_v to_o my_o nature_n or_o which_o i_o be_o most_o prone_a to_o 9_o i_o find_v no_o such_o full_a joy_n in_o any_o thing_n as_o i_o do_v in_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n 10._o i_o see_v a_o purity_n and_o glory_n in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o gospel-duty_n above_o all_o thing_n 11._o i_o desire_v no_o long_o to_o live_v than_o to_o glorify_v god_n 12._o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o appoint_a time_n i_o wait_v till_o my_o change_n shall_v come_v h._n w._n xxvii_o experience_n of_o d._n r._n it_o have_v please_v the_o lord_n ever_o since_o i_o know_v a_o difference_n between_o good_a and_o evil_n to_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o seek_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o savour_v most_o of_o god_n and_o it_o be_v my_o delight_n always_o to_o frequent_v the_o society_n of_o those_o who_o i_o think_v be_v true_o godly_a and_o upon_o this_o account_n i_o think_v
of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n whereby_o i_o do_v find_v much_o comfort_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o since_o hear_v some_o able_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n hold_v forth_o most_o precious_a truth_n i_o find_v much_o comfort_n and_o more_o particular_o mr._n bridges_n of_o yarmouth_n open_v that_o comfortable_a scripture_n pfal_n 41.11_o why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o trust_v in_o god_n etc._n etc._n his_o doctrine_n be_v that_o a_o godly_a man_n have_v no_o just_a cause_n to_o be_v discourage_v whatsoever_o his_o condition_n be_v either_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n or_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n or_o trouble_v or_o affliction_n that_o a_o man_n have_v cause_n to_o be_v humble_v for_o the_o least_o sin_n but_o not_o to_o be_v discourage_v at_o the_o great_a from_o trust_v in_o god_n but_o to_o rely_v upon_o the_o lord_n by_o faith_n in_o christ_n whatsoever_o his_o disincouragement_n be_v which_o have_v since_o cause_v i_o to_o walk_v in_o a_o thankful_a posture_n towards_o god_n for_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n and_o it_o be_v my_o great_a grief_n that_o i_o can_v be_v no_o more_o thankful_a see_v i_o have_v receive_v so_o much_o mercy_n from_o god_n who_o i_o do_v daily_o offend_v which_o have_v make_v i_o with_o paul_n to_o cry_v out_o o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n but_o that_o the_o next_o word_n produce_v comfort_n bless_a be_v god_n through_o jesus_n christ_n yet_o after_o this_o it_o please_v god_n to_o suffer_v i_o to_o fall_v into_o a_o sinful_a condition_n by_o be_v too_o confident_a in_o my_o own_o strength_n which_o fall_v cost_v i_o abundance_n of_o tear_n sigh_n and_o sobbing_n of_o heart_n even_o as_o david_n say_v to_o the_o break_n and_o dry_v of_o my_o bone_n it_o make_v i_o walk_v sad_o for_o many_o month_n together_o &_o even_o to_o despair_v of_o any_o help_n and_o see_v i_o have_v bring_v so_o much_o dishenour_n to_o god_n and_o scandal_n to_o the_o gospel_n and_o reproach_n to_o the_o professor_n thereof_o this_o do_v much_o press_v my_o soul_n consider_v what_o a_o professor_n i_o be_v before_o in_o stand_v for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o oppose_v all_o gainsayer_n and_o for_o i_o to_o fall_v oh_o this_o do_v make_v such_o gash_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o the_o consideration_n thereof_o cause_v rue_v to_o walk_v sad_o and_o sorrowful_o and_o with_o so_o much_o shame_n that_o i_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o go_v in_o the_o street_n but_o that_o urgent_a necessity_n force_v i_o to_o go_v out_o for_o comfort_n then_o it_o please_v god_n by_o special_a providence_n to_o east_n i_o under_o dr._n homes_n his_o ministry_n and_o he_o treat_v on_o that_o subject_n concern_v backsliding_a out_o of_o jer._n 14_o v._n 7._o o_o lord_n though_o our_o iniquity_n testify_v against_o we_o yet_o do_v thou_o it_o for_o thy_o name_n sake_n for_o our_o back_n sliding_n be_v many_o etc._n etc._n which_o sermon_n be_v by_o the_o work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n effectual_a unto_o i_o for_o i_o be_v almost_o under_o despair_n before_o but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o much_o comfort_n from_o this_o doctrine_n that_o saint_n may_v be_v guilty_a of_o many_o backslide_n yet_o they_o shall_v not_o despair_v for_o that_o be_v a_o great_a sin_n the_o doctor_n make_v this_o use_n that_o if_o saint_n may_v break_v their_o peace_n wicked_a and_o unregenerate_a man_n may_v break_v their_o neck_n a_o second_o use_n be_v that_o a_o saint_n shall_v beware_v of_o backslide_v and_o make_v all_o speed_n to_o go_v to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o more_o strength_n to_o keep_v and_o uphold_v he_o for_o the_o future_a this_o do_v give_v i_o some_o comfort_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o set_v upon_o the_o work_n of_o seek_v to_o jesus_n christ_n more_o earnest_o because_o christ_n tell_v paul_n that_o his_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o he_o i_o have_v rest_v in_o that_o little_a mustard-seed-faith_n i_o have_v before_o but_o now_o it_o do_v begin_v to_o spring_v and_o blossom_n to_o the_o praise_n and_o glory_n of_o jesus_n christ_n that_o he_o shall_v as_o it_o be_v snatch_v i_o as_o a_o brand_n out_o of_o those_o burn_n of_o hell_n and_o establish_v my_o poor_a soul_n by_o his_o free_a grace_n to_o see_v all_o my_o iniquity_n lay_v to_o the_o charge_n of_o christ_n as_o isa_n 53._o v._n 5._o all_o we_o like_v sheep_n have_v go_v astray_o we_o have_v turn_v every_o one_o to_o his_o own_o way_n and_o the_o lord_n have_v lay_v on_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o which_o scripture_n be_v open_v by_o a_o worthymember_v of_o that_o church_n mr._n f._n it_o do_v much_o strengthen_v my_o faith_n in_o the_o application_n when_o i_o come_v to_o consider_v first_o that_o it_o be_v iniquity_n that_o the_o lord_n jehovah_n lay_v on_o christ_n second_o that_o it_o be_v my_o iniquity_n that_o be_v thus_o lay_v on_o he_o three_o that_o it_o be_v the_o lord_n himself_o that_o do_v lay_v it_o on_o he_o and_o four_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v it_o already_o it_o be_v not_o now_o to_o do_v all_o these_o point_n do_v much_o comfort_v i_o see_v they_o be_v back_v by_o scripture_n and_o such_o a_o caution_n give_v by_o the_o apostle_n paul_n heb._n 3.12_o say_n take_v heed_n lest_o there_o be_v find_v in_o you_o a_o evil_a heart_n of_o unbelief_n etc._n etc._n which_o be_v a_o great_a sin_n and_o plague_n to_o any_o poor_a soul_n this_o wrought_v much_o with_o i_o but_o then_o apply_v several_a other_o scripture_n to_o the_o everlasting_a praise_n of_o jehovah_n and_o to_o jesus_n christ_n my_o saviour_n this_o scripture_n be_v produce_v in_o psal_n 68.16_o compare_v with_o the_o apostle_n word_n speak_v of_o christ_n thoâ—_n have_v ascend_v up_o on_o high_a and_o lead_v captivity_n captive_a and_o receive_v gift_n for_o man_n even_o rebellious_a one_o that_o the_o lord_n god_n may_v dwell_v among_o they_o and_o that_o of_o ezek._n 16.7,8,9,10_o a_o precious_a scripture_n for_o trouble_a soul_n to_o be_v meditate_a on_o for_o comfort_n that_o a_o man_n be_v in_o his_o filth_n and_o guilt_n and_o all_o over_o with_o blood_n nay_o when_o no_o eye_n will_v pity_v he_o that_o then_o be_v a_o time_n of_o love_n to_o his_o soul_n oh_o mercy_n and_o free_a grace_n indeed_o theâ—_n again_o consider_v the_o new_a covenant_n to_o open_v blind_a eye_n and_o to_o bring_v prisoner_n out_o of_o prison_n to_o the_o glorious_a light_n and_o liberty_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o his_o proclamation_n isa_n 55._o hâ—every_a one_o that_o thirst_v come_v and_o in_o that_o of_o joh._n 6._o v._n 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o christ_n he_o have_v promise_v in_o no_o wise_a to_o cast_v out_o though_o thy_o sin_n he_o as_o crimson_a and_o scarlet_a yea_o of_o such_o a_o deep_a dye_n as_o that_o with_o paul_n i_o may_v say_v to_o be_v chief_a of_o sinner_n yet_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o in_o refreshment_n from_o he_o same_o scripture_n about_o two_o year_n since_o providence_n cast_v my_o lot_n at_o westminster_n where_o i_o hear_v mr._n w._n and_o have_v observe_v many_o honest_a people_n at_o hear_v of_o the_o word_n i_o then_o seek_v to_o the_o lord_n by_o earnest_a prayer_n so_o to_o direct_v i_o by_o his_o bless_a spirit_n that_o my_o only_a aim_n may_v be_v for_o his_o glory_n the_o good_a of_o other_o and_o with_o comfort_n to_o my_o own_o soul_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v my_o heart_n notwithstanding_o all_o opposition_n of_o satan_n and_o the_o persuasion_n of_o some_o other_o to_o resolve_v and_o to_o break_v through_o all_o opposition_n and_o difficulty_n and_o to_o join_v in_o the_o worship_n of_o the_o lord_n god_n of_o our_o father_n and_o so_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n according_a to_o the_o strict_a rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n hold_v forth_o in_o his_o word_n m._n h._n xxxiv_o experience_n of_o l._n p._n about_o twenty_o year_n since_o i_o be_v then_o with_o child_n be_v much_o trouble_v at_o some_o thought_n which_o god_n put_v into_o my_o mind_n touch_v my_o conversation_n which_o lie_v so_o fore_o and_o heavy_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v what_o to_o do_v because_o i_o see_v though_o i_o endeavour_v as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v to_o do_v my_o duty_n to_o my_o god_n yet_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o live_v as_o i_o shall_v and_o then_o i_o begin_v to_o know_v what_o the_o worm_n of_o conscience_n mean_v i_o feel_v what_o until_o then_o i_o be_v ignorant_a of_o and_o the_o blackness_n of_o my_o spirit_n be_v such_o with_o the_o burden_n of_o my_o trouble_a and_o afflict_a soul_n that_o i_o can_v
the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o he_o have_v remember_v i_o in_o my_o low_a and_o trouble_a estate_n because_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o have_v thus_o have_v new_a experience_n of_o god_n readiness_n to_o hear_v and_o help_v when_o i_o call_v upon_o he_o and_o have_v find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o seek_v to_o and_o to_o depend_v upon_o god_n in_o all_o our_o strait_n i_o can_v not_o but_o record_v these_o thing_n that_o so_o every_o one_o that_o be_v godly_a may_v seek_v unto_o he_o in_o a_o time_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v find_v who_o be_v a_o present_a help_n in_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o who_o do_v for_o we_o abundant_o above_o what_o we_o can_v ask_v or_o think_v the_o lord_n know_v that_o i_o write_v these_o thing_n for_o no_o other_o end_n but_o that_o god_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n and_o that_o other_o especial_o my_o relation_n may_v be_v encourage_v to_o seek_v god_n in_o their_o strait_n and_o to_o trust_v in_o he_o at_o all_o time_n if_o god_n shall_v please_v to_o bring_v i_o to_o my_o grave_n in_o peace_n let_v this_o be_v the_o text_n at_o my_o funeral_n ephes_n 2.8_o for_o by_o grace_n you_o be_v save_v through_o faith_n this_o scripture_n i_o be_v oft_o put_v upon_o to_o have_v recourse_n to_o in_o time_n of_o temptation_n and_o desertion_n though_o our_o heart_n may_v fail_v we_o and_o our_o flesh_n may_v fail_v we_o yet_o the_o lord_n will_v never_o fail_v we_o amen_n xxxviii_o john_n earl_n of_o rochester_n i_o shall_v conclude_v these_o experience_n with_o a_o account_n of_o one_o of_o the_o most_o illustrious_a instance_n of_o conversion_n that_o have_v happen_v in_o this_o and_o it_o may_v be_v in_o many_o precede_a age_n in_o the_o person_n of_o the_o right_n honourable_a john_n willmot_n late_a earl_n of_o rochester_n who_o name_n for_o irreligion_n and_o vice_n become_v a_o proverb_n and_o who_o extraordinary_a repentance_n be_v a_o most_o remarkable_a example_n of_o the_o exceed_a riches_n of_o the_o grace_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n his_o father_n be_v henry_n lord_n wilmot_n who_o in_o the_o civil_a war_n adhere_v to_o k._n charles_n 1._o and_o be_v very_o instrumental_a in_o the_o escape_n of_o k._n charles_n 2._o after_o the_o battle_n of_o worcester_n in_o 1651_o but_o die_v before_o the_o restoration_n leave_v his_o son_n little_o more_o than_o his_o title_n of_o earl_n of_o rochester_n and_o some_o pretension_n of_o the_o favour_n of_o charles_n 2._o after_o his_o return_n this_o young_a lord_n be_v educate_v in_o the_o university_n of_o oxford_n where_o his_o wit_n and_o learning_n soon_o make_v he_o very_o eminent_a but_o the_o general_a joy_n and_o debauchery_n that_o overrun_v the_o nation_n in_o 1660._o have_v in_o a_o little_a time_n so_o great_a a_o influence_n upon_o he_o that_o he_o as_o well_o as_o a_o multitude_n of_o other_o young_a gentleman_n run_v into_o all_o manner_n of_o excess_n to_o commit_v all_o kind_n of_o iniquity_n with_o greediness_n and_o after_o his_o return_n from_o his_o travel_n into_o italy_n have_v some_o perferment_n in_o the_o atheistical_a and_o debauch_a court_n of_o k._n charles_n 2._o he_o there_o meet_v with_o encouragement_n &_o countenance_n in_o prosecute_a the_o great_a excess_n &_o extravagancy_n that_o be_v possible_o to_o be_v act_v for_o as_o solomon_n say_v whatsoever_o his_o eye_n desire_v he_o keep_v it_o not_o from_o they_o and_o with_o hold_v his_o heart_n from_o no_o joy_n and_o to_o fortify_v his_o conscience_n against_o any_o conviction_n he_o endeavour_v to_o persuade_v himlelf_n that_o there_o be_v no_o heaven_n nor_o hell_n no_o god_n nor_o devil_n nor_o any_o future_a state_n in_o another_o world_n and_o yet_o because_o at_o some_o interval_n he_o have_v severe_a reflection_n in_o his_o mind_n as_o to_o his_o vicious_a practice_n he_o be_v force_v to_o rid_v himself_o of_o they_o by_o a_o continue_a course_n of_o intemperance_n so_o that_o he_o acknowledge_v that_o for_o five_o year_n together_o he_o be_v continual_o drink_v and_o as_o his_o wickedness_n so_o his_o wit_n and_o part_n be_v extraordinary_a so_o that_o have_v his_o fancy_n fall_v upon_o divine_a subject_n instead_o of_o those_o impure_a and_o silthy_a one_o wherein_o he_o usual_o exercise_v his_o poetry_n he_o may_v probable_o have_v be_v as_o useful_a in_o teach_v virtue_n to_o this_o debaâ—…hed_a generation_n as_o his_o profane_a verse_n have_v be_v mischievous_a and_o hurtful_a in_o promote_a a._n theism_n vice_n and_o lewdness_n as_o to_o all_o outward_a accomplishment_n of_o learning_n and_o education_n he_o be_v therein_o complete_a though_o by_o his_o ill_a management_n they_o be_v at_o length_n miserable_a comfort_n to_o he_o since_o they_o only_o minister_v to_o his_o sin_n and_o make_v his_o example_n the_o more_o fatal_a and_o dangerous_a so_o that_o he_o own_v himself_o to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a of_o sinner_n for_o his_o corrupt_a part_n make_v his_o impiety_n rise_v to_o a_o high_a and_o extraordinary_a pitch_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o angel_n for_o knowledge_n and_o power_n become_v the_o most_o degenerate_a so_o that_o his_o impious_a action_n as_o well_o as_o write_n seem_v to_o soar_v above_o the_o reach_n and_o thought_n of_o other_o man_n take_v as_o much_o pain_n to_o draw_v other_o in_o and_o to_o pervert_v the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o religion_n as_o the_o apostle_n and_o primitive_a saint_n do_v to_o save_v their_o own_o soul_n and_o those_o that_o hear_v they_o for_o this_o be_v the_o heighten_v and_o amaze_a circumstance_n of_o his_o sin_n that_o he_o be_v so_o diligent_a and_o industrious_a to_o recommend_v and_o propagate_v they_o to_o declare_v his_o sin_n as_o sodom_n and_o not_o to_o hide_v it_o frame_v argument_n for_o sin_n make_v proselyte_n to_o it_o and_o write_v panygiricks_n upon_o vice_n sing_v praise_n to_o the_o great_a enemy_n of_o god_n and_o cast_v down_o coronet_n and_o crown_n before_o his_o throne_n this_o character_n his_o chaplain_n who_o preach_v his_o funeral_n sermon_n give_v of_o he_o and_o add_v that_o he_o be_v so_o confirm_v in_o sin_n that_o he_o live_v and_o oftentimes_o almost_o die_v a_o martyr_n for_o it_o god_n be_v sometime_o please_v to_o punish_v he_o with_o the_o effect_n of_o his_o debauchery_n yet_o he_o confess_v that_o for_o a_o long_a time_n it_o have_v no_o power_n to_o melt_v he_o into_o true_a repentance_n or_o if_o at_o any_o time_n he_o have_v some_o lucid_a interval_n from_o his_o folly_n and_o madness_n how_o short_a and_o transitory_a be_v they_o all_o that_o goodness_n be_v but_o as_o a_o morning_n cloud_n and_o as_o the_o early_a dew_n which_o vanish_v away_o he_o still_o return_v to_o the_o same_o excess_n of_o riot_n and_o that_o with_o so_o much_o the_o more_o greediness_n the_o long_o he_o have_v be_v detain_v from_o it_o banish_v all_o thought_n of_o god_n and_o a_o future_a account_n out_o of_o his_o mind_n one_o instance_n be_v relate_v which_o much_o confirm_v he_o in_o his_o atheistical_a temper_n that_o he_o and_o another_o gentleman_n of_o the_o like_a humour_n have_v make_v a_o solemn_a compact_n and_o agreement_n it_o may_v be_v not_o without_o impious_a circumstance_n that_o whoever_o die_v first_o shall_v after_o his_o death_n return_v from_o the_o grave_a and_o give_v a_o account_n to_o the_o other_o of_o the_o state_n of_o the_o next_o world_n and_o whether_o there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n or_o no_o soon_o after_o the_o gentleman_n die_v but_o never_o appear_v to_o give_v he_o satisfaction_n as_o they_o have_v stipulate_v between_o they_o it_o make_v he_o conclude_v that_o a_o man_n die_v like_o a_o beast_n and_o that_o soul_n soul_n and_o body_n perish_v in_o the_o dust_n such_o unreasonable_a and_o senseless_a fancy_n have_v he_o to_o secure_v himself_o against_o any_o conviction_n of_o conscience_n since_o he_o have_v never_o deserve_v that_o god_n shall_v show_v a_o miracle_n to_o satisfy_v he_o of_o that_o which_o his_o wicked_a life_n and_o practice_n make_v he_o secret_o desire_v may_v not_o be_v true_a because_o it_o be_v the_o interest_n of_o those_o that_o live_v like_o brute_n to_o wish_v they_o may_v die_v so_o too_o and_o never_o be_v call_v to_o the_o bar_n of_o that_o god_n who_o their_o whole_a life_n have_v bid_v defiance_n unto_o and_o yet_o even_o this_o desperate_a sinner_n that_o seem_v to_o have_v make_v a_o covenant_n with_o death_n and_o be_v at_o agreement_n with_o hell_n and_o just_a upon_o the_o brink_n of_o they_o both_o god_n to_o mganifie_v the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o snatch_v as_o a_o brand_n out_o of_o the_o fire_n and_o as_o the_o apostle_n though_o before_o a_o blasphemer_n a_o persecutor_n and_o
do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v and_o mourn_v and_o pray_v count_v my_o life_n to_o be_v lose_v and_o yet_o i_o be_v more_o trouble_v for_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n than_o the_o wrath_n of_o man_n but_o at_o length_n it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o comfort_n for_o one_o night_n whilst_o i_o be_v beraoan_v myself_o and_o in_o much_o despair_n on_o a_o sudden_a the_o room_n be_v all_o in_o a_o flame_n and_o i_o think_v myself_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o lightning_n and_o be_v terrify_v i_o imagine_v i_o see_v these_o word_n write_v against_o the_o wall_n thy_o sin_n be_v pardon_v and_o thy_o life_n be_v hide_v with_o christ_n in_o god_n this_o extraordinary_a manifestation_n much_o ease_v the_o trouble_n and_o sorrow_n wherein_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o for_o want_v of_o faith_n this_o comfort_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v with_o i_o for_o after_o that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o lord_n with_o such_o a_o wrathful_a countenance_n that_o i_o dare_v not_o look_v upon_o he_o and_o the_o next_o news_n that_o i_o hear_v be_v that_o i_o be_v order_v to_o be_v shoot_v to_o death_n oh_o than_o i_o can_v express_v the_o terror_n that_o i_o be_v in_o my_o woeful_a misery_n be_v such_o that_o neither_o prayer_n read_v of_o the_o scripture_n nor_o the_o precious_a promise_n therein_o can_v afford_v i_o any_o relief_n for_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v any_o right_n to_o they_o and_o therefore_o can_v not_o lay_v hold_n of_o they_o in_o this_o dreadful_a distress_n i_o lie_v a_o condemn_a man_n both_o in_o soul_n and_o body_n lament_v my_o wretched_a condition_n when_o open_v the_o bible_n in_o joel_n 2.13_o i_o see_v it_o thus_o write_v turn_v you_o to_o the_o lord_n god_n for_o he_o be_v gracious_a and_o merciful_a slow_a to_o anger_n and_o of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o repent_v he_o of_o the_o evil._n hereupon_o i_o ponder_v a_o while_n and_o say_v and_o be_v he_o such_o a_o god_n well_o then_o he_o be_v my_o god_n and_o with_o that_o i_o give_v myself_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n resolve_v to_o rely_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o do_v what_o he_o will_v with_o i_o and_o on_o this_o foundation_n i_o be_v settle_a and_o satisfy_v a_o while_n after_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o deliver_v i_o out_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o death_n and_o to_o set_v i_o at_o liberty_n from_o prison_n but_o notwithstanding_o this_o great_a mercy_n yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o i_o afterward_o find_v such_o opposition_n in_o my_o heart_n against_o god_n as_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v have_v be_v in_o i_o i_o be_v grievous_o wound_v for_o it_o and_o can_v have_v no_o quiet_a but_o go_v to_o mr._n w._n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o it_o who_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o have_v fall_v from_o my_o first_o work_n and_o that_o i_o must_v repent_v this_o rent_n my_o heart_n and_o i_o have_v no_o rest_n i_o return_v from_o he_o and_o apply_v to_o prayer_n keep_v that_o course_n continual_o till_o by_o degree_n i_o be_v recover_v out_o of_o that_o disconsolate_a condition_n and_o i_o praise_v god_n i_o have_v since_o find_v his_o favour_n and_o kindness_n extend_v towards_o i_o so_o that_o i_o be_o full_o persuade_v he_o love_v i_o and_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n in_o jesus_n christ_n on_o who_o merit_n i_o rely_v in_o who_o righteousness_n i_o rest_v and_o by_o who_o grace_n i_o be_o now_o set_v free_a to_o serve_v he_o here_o and_o doubt_v not_o but_o to_o reign_v with_o he_o hereafter_o f._n b._n v._o experience_n of_o h._n m._n my_o father_n be_v a_o gentleman_n of_o a_o fair_a estate_n have_v many_o child_n eleven_o son_n of_o we_o he_o be_v high_a sheriff_n and_o when_o he_o die_v all_o our_o family_n be_v break_v disperse_a and_o in_o confusion_n two_o of_o we_o be_v bring_v up_o within_o five_o mile_n of_o gloucester_n but_o i_o be_v place_v a_o apprentice_n in_o london_n and_o by_o this_o mean_v my_o sorrow_n and_o trouble_n begin_v to_o be_v great_a at_o first_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o this_o sudden_a change_n which_o continue_v a_o while_n but_o about_o the_o 17_o year_n of_o my_o age_n my_o former_a grief_n be_v turn_v into_o another_o kind_n of_o trouble_n namely_o sorrow_n for_o my_o sin_n i_o be_v for_o three_o year_n together_o wound_v with_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o corruption_n which_o be_v many_o i_o follow_v sermon_n pursue_v the_o mean_n be_v constant_a in_o duty_n and_o do_v look_v for_o heaven_n that_o way_n i_o be_v very_o precise_a in_o outward_a formality_n censure_v all_o for_o reprobate_n that_o wear_v their_o hair_n long_o and_o not_o short_a above_o their_o ear_n or_o that_o follow_v the_o common_a mode_n and_o fashion_n of_o those_o day_n thus_o i_o continue_v distract_v in_o my_o thought_n and_o wound_v in_o my_o conscience_n weep_v often_o and_o bitter_o and_o pray_v earnest_o but_o yet_o have_v no_o comfort_n till_o i_o hear_v that_o sweet_a saint_n now_o in_o heaven_n dr._n sibbs_n by_o who_o mean_n and_o ministry_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o peace_n and_o joy_n in_o my_o spirit_n his_o sweet_a soul-melting_a sermon_n win_v my_o heart_n and_o refresh_v i_o much_o for_o by_o he_o i_o see_v much_o of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o have_v good_a hope_n and_o confidence_n in_o christ_n jesus_n and_o can_v overlook_v the_o world_n undervalue_v all_o earthly_a thing_n and_o be_v not_o afraid_a of_o affliction_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sometime_o under_o the_o spirit_n of_o bondage_n again_o unto_o fear_n yet_o my_o heart_n still_o hold_v firm_a and_o my_o desire_n be_v all_o heaven-ward_n i_o take_v delight_n to_o hear_v funeral_n sermon_n but_o dr._n sibbs_n chief_o by_o who_o i_o be_v effectual_o wrought_v upon_o and_o satissy_v with_o comfort_n which_o i_o hope_v will_v never_o leave_v i_o till_o i_o come_v to_o everlasting_a rest_n h._n m._n vi_o experience_n of_o mr._n t._n h._n minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n i_o be_v but_o young_a when_o i_o first_o come_v under_o gonviction_n of_o soul_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v warm_v by_o a_o zealous_a ministry_n which_o put_v i_o much_o upon_o duty_n i_o use_v to_o read_v the_o scripture_n every_o night_n and_o to_o repeat_v sermon_n often_o and_o so_o i_o spend_v the_o first_o scene_n of_o my_o youth_n till_o i_o be_v send_v by_o my_o friend_n to_o london_n where_o i_o live_v a_o year_n or_o two_o during_o that_o time_n as_o often_o as_o i_o see_v any_o minister_n i_o can_v not_o but_o weep_v and_o always_o wish_v that_o i_o may_v be_v one_o myself_o to_o be_v able_a to_o preach_v too_o after_o this_o i_o be_v send_v to_o one_o of_o the_o university_n in_o england_n but_o be_v wild_a with_o youthful_a company_n be_v remove_v to_o the_o college_n of_o dublin_n where_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o horrid_a popish_a rebellion_n break_v out_o in_o 1641._o at_o which_o time_n i_o leave_v it_o and_o go_v to_o liverpool_n in_o lancashire_n where_o i_o preach_v some_o year_n yet_o all_o this_o while_n i_o be_v but_o formal_a and_o as_o the_o young_a man_n in_o the_o gospel_n say_v he_o have_v keep_v all_o these_o thing_n from_o his_o youth_n so_o i_o be_v from_o from_o my_o youth_n religious_a well_o give_v love_v the_o mean_n and_o follow_v they_o hear_v sermon_n and_o seek_v to_o serve_v god_n but_o alas_o i_o be_v yet_o all_o this_o while_n in_o darkness_n and_o do_v not_o know_v it_o but_o afterward_o i_o see_v that_o i_o be_v blind_a and_o carnal_a for_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a doubt_n and_o trouble_n and_o very_o much_o cloud_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v exceed_o tie_v and_o bind_v up_o for_o a_o time_n under_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o formal_a holiness_n and_o sin_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o light_n once_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v sad_o alone_a upon_o the_o mountain_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n so_o to_o influence_n i_o by_o his_o spirit_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v immediate_o pour_v out_o upon_o i_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o heavenly_a joy_n and_o peace_n and_o with_o most_o ravish_a contemplation_n which_o continue_v without_o a_o cloud_n for_o several_a week_n together_o and_o give_v i_o assure_v hope_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o ever_o since_o i_o have_v live_v in_o the_o righteousness_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o though_o i_o have_v meet_v with_o many_o storm_n and_o cloud_n yet_o they_o have_v all_o pass_v away_o and_o can_v hinder_v i_o from_o salvation_n so_o long_o as_o christ_n who_o be_v my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n be_v above_o they_o and_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o he_o will_v at_o last_o translate_v i_o from_o his_o kingdom_n of_o grace_n here_o