even from my Youth and if my deceitful heart deceive me not I dare appeal unto thee for the sincerity of it oh that thou wouldest make me usefull to thee in that way or any way thou shalt be pleased to choose that I might glorifie thy great and holy Name Sweet Discoveries of the Love of God in Jesus Christ Oh how good a God have I who is pleased every day to bear up my Soul with the sweet influâ—nces of his gratious Spirit and pretious incomes of his tender Love O how could I sit and meditate of thy loving kindness all the day long where can I find any comfort in this World but in thy presence there have I Lord indeed through thy Grace found a fulness of Joy a time of endless pleasures O what am I or what is my Fathers House that I should be the daughter to a King that I a worm a poor detestable creature madâ— up with clay and dust nay worse then a worm they being creatures which shall prey upon me for that I am aâ—pointed for their food yet that the Lord of Hosts the Holy One of Israel the High and Mighty God the King of Glory the King of Kings who is a King over the whole Earth should yet be pleased thus to abase himself as to have thoughts of love for such a poor unworthy wâ—etched creature as I am oh how unworthy am I of thy favours yet Lord because thou hast bâ—d me hope in thy mercy I dare do no otherwise nay Lord thou hast commanded me to believe Loâ—d I believe pardon my unbelief that should in any ways cause me in the least to distrust the riches of thy Grace or thy unspeakable goodness which is thy Glory since thou art pleased dear Lord to make a worm the object of thy grace Oh let my Soul injoy these sweet transcendant pleasures which lye discovered to my soul in the rich treasury of thy unbounded love whilst others take their fill of Worldly vanities When I considered the sinfulness of my nature my weaknesses my frailtyes and my many infirmities oh what is there in me should ever cause the Lord to pitty me or yet to continue his favour to me in so â—aspeakable a manner N my Soul bless thou the Lord for Jesus Christ in whom the Lord is pleased richly to look upon thee O happy is the soul that is born up by such a support how wretched had my soul been had not the Lord laid help on one who is mighty hadst not thou had the Lord to be thy Saviour Christ the dear son of God to be thy Redeemer O blessed be the Lord and blessed be my Rock who hath thus looked upon sinful mankind and thus loved the Sons of Men as to give his only dearly beloved Son to dye for such poor miserable wretches as I O the wonderful goodness of God the transcendant and unspeakable riches of his grace in Jesus Christ O my Soul canst thou but be filled with holy admiration at the infiniteness of his Glory the unspeakable and transcendant beauty of thy dear Redeemer this indeed is rich mercy That the Lord should come into the World and give his life a ransome for poor sinners but that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord was pleased to leave his glory to take upon him the habit of a servant the nature of a sinful man that thou shouldest be one for whom the Lord became himself a curse to redeem thee from the curse that was due to thee and from that which there was no Redemption but through the blood of that pure and spotless Lamb that Christ the Son of God should give himself to dye a shameful death for thee that thou mightest live that thou mightest be partaker of those glorious benefits and gratious priviledges which came by him O my soul that thou should be one to whom such exceeding love is shown O my soul how doth the love of Christ constrain thee to love him O my poor unworthy soul how art thou bound for ever to admire and only aim at and seek the glory of thy dear Redeemer O my dear Redeemer how is my poor unworthy heart carried out to admire thy dear and tender love Lord if to injoy the Communion with thy Saints and people here on earth be such a glorious priviledge which thou hast made my soul to long after O then what is it to injoy Communion with thy Saints and Angels to all Eternity in the presence of my Lord and Saviour What darkness can Eclipse that glory or rather will not that glory quite put out that glory which the World but falsly yeilds what is all the glory of the World or all the Kingdoms of the Earth compared to the apprehention of a Heavenly Kingdom in the soul here much less to the full injoyment of it to all Eternity What is all the glory of the world but poor empty husks poor deceitful vanities a very lie which at the best makes but ashamed but Lord how glorious art thou in the beauties of holiness my Soul hath found enough in thee to fill it with a holy admiration O that I might forever be admiring of thy glory what are the treasures of the earth poor low base things that we should have our hearts so much carried after them What is it the hearts of the World runs out so much after is if there was their greatest happiness Is it not that they may gain abundance of riches and what are they when they are gotten but thorns to put out their own eyeâ— they â—oyl and labour hard in the woâ—ld â—or that which is at best of no induring substance and if they make a shift to keep it whilst they continue here yet at the Grave this the great happiness must leave them O misserabâ—e are they whose chiefest good consists in worldly vanities what is all the treasure upon Earth to that in esteemable Riches which are only to be found in Jesus Christ of how much greater value is that one pearl of great price then all the Pearls and Diamonds aâ—d the richest treasure upon earth Lord fill thou my heart with Heavenly Treasure and let my Soul be rich in grace oh tâ—at iâ— might be such in which I might bring glory to thy Name Meditations upon my Saviours Love HOw excellent a thing is Love how doth it adorn a Christian and comes most near the Image of a loving Saviour never was any love like to his love he loved us not because we first loved him no we were enemies yet even then he loved us and had compassion on us O the riches of divine Love see the sweet indearments of a loving Saviour greater love can no man show then to lay down his life for his friends yea but our dear Lord said down his life for us when we were enemies and from being enemies he is pleased to stile us friends and not only so but behold what manner of love the Father hath
little spiritual life and my heart also was carried out after vanities then I found that I had lost the former sweet incombs of the Lord and the refreshings of this blessed spirit and was as one luâ—led a sleep by the deceitful inchantments of Satan and malitious devices O wicked and decâ—iâ—ful â—eaâ—t how couldst thou so soon forget such bondage delivered from such 〈◊〉 aâ— the Devil had so often got thee into how soon hast thou forgot the God of all thy mercies how hast thou made the Lord to serve with thy sins Yet once more was the Lord pleased to call me out of my benumbed conditions and shewed how I was running my self into my own destruction Oh the goodness of the Lord who never dâ—d leave me but to see my oâ—n in aâ—ility to live without his heâ—p then did the Lord in mercy convince me of the emptiâ—ess of all Earthly vanities and also of that way of formal worship that it was a dead carnal lifeless thing under which my soul couâ—d not prosper and so growing weary of it more and more at length besought the Lord to guide my poor iâ—norant Soul which was so easie to be led away with every wicked and â—ubâ—ile device of â—atan my heart desired much to hear goâ—d men and when I could with convenience which some took notice of and said I was one whom the Apostle speaks of having iâ—chiâ—g ears ever lâ—arning c. â—his did muâ—h afflict me about which the Lord was pleased to give me a heart to seeâ— him and that earnestly for his assistance in the knowledge of his truth One more experience of the providence of God appeared unto me as an incouragement to trust in his mercy and to wait upon him by prayer for all things I had at that time a distemper upon me of which I saw no hope of cure yet one day particularly being in a serious meditation of the infinite goodness of the Lord toward me the Lord was pâ—eased to direct my eye upon a place of Scripâ—ure where I found the woman coming to the Lord confessing that she had â—pent aâ—l she hâ—d â—o be cuâ—ed of her Infirmity and one touch of Christs garment had done it from thence may not I come trembling that have received so many testimonies of his love tryed so many medcines before I came unto the Lord or looâ—ed up to him for help then did I bewail my unpâ—ofitableness yet went unto the Lord in the language of the Lepper and said Lord if thâ—u wilt thou canst make me clean who was not deaf to my poor request but in some small time was gratiously pleased as I may say without means wholy to clear me of it this mercy carried up my heart more to praise the Lord then any yet I had received who notwithstanding all my weaknesses and sinfulnesses was gratiously pleased to follow me with many mercys Of further discoveries of Christ Then was the Lord pleased in his gratious Providence to remove me to a place in H. Sh. where I had much more advantage of means and helps for my poor Soul VVHere the Lord was pleased to give me through his grace a little more insight into the mind â—f Christ evidencing himself to be a God graâ—ious and merciful abundant in gâ—odnâ—ss c. I was filled with admiration to see the holy glorious God abase himself to so poor a wretchless Creature as I then was I cryed out with earnest desires and longings after more of the knowledge of this God but here came I under strong temptations Satan was powerful in raising up of spiritual Pride but the Lord whose goodness never failled me did then take care for me thou O Lord who broughtest me out of the Pit of despair O suffer me not to climb up to the Mount of Presumption then was the Lord pleased in the tenderness of his love to convince me that the poor in Spirit were heirs of the Kingdom that the lowly Soul was his habitation then I besought God begging at the Throne of Grace for the assistance of his gratious Spirit without which I could do nothing and that he would humble me even to the dust that so my Soul might not loose the sight of that Glory revealed in the face of Jesus Christ This the Lord was gratiously pleased to grant and sweetly bring me to see a riches in Christ Jesus and that this was more to be desired then all the treasures upon Earth The longings of her Soul after Church Fellowship and all the Ordinances of Christ THen did I long after God and the injoyment of him in his own way and said Lord thou hast made me O lead me in that way wherein I may bring most glory to thy self I durst â—ot trust my own judgement but resign'd my self unto his will and continued my petitions at tâ—e â—hrone of Grace and at length he was pleased gâ—atiâ—usâ— to answer my poor prayer â—lessâ—d be â—hy name O Lord O let my Soul be inlarged in thy pâ—aâ—ses One day the Lord was pleased by a strange providence to cast me into the company of one that I never saw before but of a sweet and free disposition and whose discourse savour'd so much of the Gospel that I could not but at that instant bless God for his goodness in that providence it pleased the Lord to carry out our hearts much towards one another at that time and a little while after the Lord was pleased to bring us together again for the space of three dayes in which time it pleased God by our much converse together to establish and confirm me more in the desires I had to jâ—yn with the people of God in socâ—ety and enjoy Communion with them according to the order of the Gospel she was of a society of the Congregational way called Iudependants and gave me so clear a demonstration of their wayes that upon considerations and searching of the Scripture for the understanding of which learnestly besought the Lord I was cleerly convinc't in my judgment that this was the way which came nearest to the ruâ—e of the Gospel and the commands of Christ then were our hearts firmâ—y united and â— blessed the Lord from my soul for so glorious and vâ—sible an appearance of his love for I had many sweet refreshments given me at that time when she was gone I was sensible of the great mercy the Lord had been pleased to show me but in an instance snatcht it from me again at which I began to be troubled but aâ—ter a few reflections to this purpose why do I not patiently submit to the will of my Father who knows what is best for me my soul was again filled with hungrings and thirstings after God for a more clear and full inâ—oyment of him and that in that bâ—essed ordinance appointed for a seal to coâ—fiâ—m the Covenant he hatâ— gratiously made through hiâ— dear Son with aâ—l believers this was at a time when the Lord was pleased as to
outward appearance to frown upon his peopâ—e it seemed an hour of darkness to me my heart was troubled then was I earnest with the Lord further to â—irect me in the way that he shâ—uld choose and the Lord was pleased to shine in with some Gospel light and cause me to see a vast disproportion between a superstiâ—iouâ— way of worshipping of God and a spiâ—itual sincere way in wâ—ich spiritual Christians serve him then I said O that God would please to bring me into the Fellowship and Communion of his own peopâ—e and if he hath appointed them to suffer Oh that I might be one that he would count worthy to suffer for the name of Christ Oh how dâ—th my Soul desire to bear part in the affliction of Sion much rather then to injoy the mirth and pleasure of an earthâ—y Kingdom then did I cast my self upon the Lord and offer up my Soul to him who knows how to frame it according to his own blessed will then I said Lord hast not thou the â—earts of all creatures in thy hand and hast power to turn them into what frame soever thou pleasest bring mine into a conformity to thy blessed will O do it Lord for thy mercies sake then I made known my desires unto my friend by letter to joyn in society with that congregation whereof my friend was a member For about that time the Minister of the Parish intending to give the Sacrament preached a preparatory Sermon from 1 Cor. 11. 27 28 29. v. Shewing the sweet nature of that blessed ordinance the danger of unworthy râ—ceiveâ—s and how a Christian ought to be qualified before partaking thereof at the hearing of which I was awakened and the Lord was pleased to come in with sweet comfort and refreshments considering thâ— blessed provisiâ—n God had gratiously made for those that prepared to meeâ— him therein but I was troubled when I considered that very few or none of his Communicants were so quallified to appearance which was my great burden for I longed much to pertake of that ordinance but dared not to do it in that manner and with such persons None could I use freedom with in this matter but those who I feared would make my trouble greater but thou O God who art ever ready to help in time of neeed thou the wise counsellor wilt not be far from the Soul that truly seeks thee then I called upon the Lord who was gratiously pleased to grant an ear to my request and through the help of my friend to bâ—ing to remembrance 1 Cor. 10 16. 17. v. by which I was much establishâ—d but more when I saw the number of his Communicants whom he had examined and accepâ—ed such as was very bâ—ind igâ—orant formaâ— creatures then I came to a resolution through the bâ—essing of God to wait with patience till he should see good to open away wherein I mâ—ght injoy such ordinances in power and purity and so as I might expect Gods presence and blessing which at last he was gratiouslâ— pleased to do making that my friend an inâ—trument thereof Oh let my heart be more carried out to God with praises and put a new Song into my mouth make it my work to glory that thy great name since thou art thus pleased to own me in thy dear Son Of Recording her Experiences O My Soul thou hast found by sweet experiences how good a thing it is to wait upon the Lord let not the gratious tast of his love slip out of thy remembrance but whilst he hath given thee life improve these mercies and the talent he hath lent thee to his own glory and let the gratious workings of the Lord as he is pleased to honour thee with incomes of his love and the sweet breathings of his holy spirit recount them here in order as the Lord shall give thee leave that they may be upon record against an evil day a day of temptation for how many pretious evidences hast thou lost for want of remembring them but now O Lord help me to deal faithfully with my Soul in declaring thy power and the riches of thy Grace in the daily remembring of thy merciâ—s O cause me to see the growth of my Soul in Grace and in the knowledge of my gratious God that my â—oul may only aim at the Glory of my redâ—â—mer The Lord was thus pleased to carry on his gratious work with much pâ—wer in my poor Soul notwithstanding â—he Devils suggestions many â—earâ— c. As that my condition surely was not yet so good as I did hope it to be and to doubt whether my joy was not meer presumption but the Lord in his goodness was pleased in a little time to clear it more fully to me and cause me to seâ— by the workings of his holy Spiâ—it sweet evidences of his tender love and bâ—ought into my meditation many blessed premises which he was pleased to bless unto my Soâ—l aâ—d confirm unto me with much establishment The Lord being thus pleased by his wise Councel and his tender love thus to guide my unworthy Soul at length bâ— hiâ— gratious providence brought we to the place where the Church met though they were strangers to me yet was he pleased to cause me to find much love and tenderness and there I had that blessed opportunity to receive that sweet refreshing Ordinance which my Soul had so much longed after Blessed be his Holy name O thou my Soul since thou hast seen the gratious deâ—lings of the Lord towards thee be not thou unmindful of his praise Improve thy talent to thy Masters use lay out thy strength for God and let thy heart be carried out for ever to remember the tender and unspeakâ—ble love of thy dear Lord unless thou put thy hand to heâ—p my strength is nothing I am a poâ—r weak nothiâ—g not able to do any thing if thou shouldest once leave me never so little The Choice Discoveries of Christ to her Soul when joyned to a Church in the Lords Supper OH how was the Lord in mercy pleased to manifest his Glory and goodness to thee O my Son in this Ordinance in which he was gratiously pleased by faith to draw thee up to recive those outward elements the bread and wine as presenting the immediate body and blood of the Lord Jesus broken and shed for thy sins O thoâ— unworthy Soul how gratiously was the Lord pleased to come with power raising thee up to praise and admire the exceeding riches of his Grace in choosing thee to be partaker of so great a blessing how was he pleased to fill thee with spiritual joy at thy returning home and give thee leave to come into his presence to return him thanks with joy that he was pleased so gratiously to manifest himself unto thee poor unworthy Soul as a God hearing prayer and answering thy poor request with so much mercy which the Lord inable thee for ever to remember to his Glory thou knowest I desired to do so
be the child of the Heavenly King who is so infinitely aboue all the world that the whole earth is but as the dâ—op of a Buckeâ— on the small dust of the Ballâ—nce unto him at whose feet Kings shall lay down their crowns and Rulers shall be iâ— subjection and when he speaks who can resist his power who with his voice maketh the earth to tremble the Lord who iâ— mighty in â—ower in Wisdom in knowledge in meâ—cy and in truâ—h who made all things out of nothing can withone word of his mouth reduce them to nothing again gain he is the King of Kings and the Lord of glory he pulleth down and seâ—teth up as he pleaseth Here then lies true honour and true happiness even in the favour of this God O what advaâ—tage has that Soul over the world whose Soul hath an intrest in the Fathers love as there is no love so great so there is no love so true as that where with he loveâ—h his peculiar ones his love it is a transendant love so it is in comprehensible love it hath no bound but it in dures forever what love is there like unto it what variety and change do we see daily the world produceth in this maâ—ter or love of creatures to day we may see a shew of love and affectious and think we are happy in them but how suddenly do they change how little a thing will set them at a distance and break their amity O this is the love of the world and what 1st worth but here is a love which is not subject to change as to the Nature of it is such a love as the substance of a mans house will not purchase which the Lord of love in spires his people with it is a Spiritual and evangillicall love such a one as proceed from the divine nature a perfect love which admits of no change his love is infinite and eternal whom he loves he loves forever A Soul once re-received unto the Fathers love shall a bide forever Who shall seperate us from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus neither height nor depth nor principallities nor powers neither things present nor things to come shall do it Death it self cannot take this love from his beloved ones no it will but make a way for the perfecting of that love which here we injoy but in part The love of God is also a tender and compassionate love the love of friends wax cold but the love of God shall never be diminished A mother may forget her child but such is the Nature of our Heavenly Father who hath ingraven his beloved ones so deeply in his heart that 't is impossible they should be forgotten sometimes he is pleased to correct his dearest Children but it is as a dear and loving Father chastâ—ising whom he loves sometime he hideâ— his face but 't is for a moment that he might remember them in everlasting goodness he looked upon us in our low estate when no eye pittied us then was a time of Love then the Lord had compassion on us and out of his infinite wisdâ—m found out a means for the recovery of our Souls he laid help upon one that was mighty even his dear Son the son of his love who gave himself a ransome that he might redeem our souls out of eternal misery behold with what manner of love the Father hath loved us when we were vile wretches sinful creatures he sent his only begotten who was willing to leave his Glory to invest himself with misery for the good of Souls he that sate at the right hand of the Fathers Glory he even the Lord of Glory took upon him the form of a servant He became poor for us that we through his poverty might be made rich and heirs of the Kingdom of glory O what was there in us to invite the Lord thus to love us it was an act of mercy alone riches of his Grace bestowed upon us in Jesus Christ O then why doe we spend our mony for that which is not why doe we spend our pretions time in catching shadows and in the mean time let go the substance why doe we promise our selves good out of vanities which are nothing but deceit and in the mean time deprive our selves of that Soul satisfying comfort which can only maâ—e us happy to all eternity is God so gratious and is the riches of his grace so freely bestowed upon us O then shall we any longer reject so great a blessedness doth Christ stand knocking at the door of our hearts out of love to our Soules and shall we deny him entrance shall we despise his calls And those tenders of Grace made in his word those intreatiâ—s and sweet iâ—vitations sent unto us to compel and bring unto him to bring to life it self and so raise us out of the Grave of Sin wherein we lie and so be made partakers of that â—â—vine nature and Co-heirs with him in the Kingdom of Glory and shall we now contine stiâ—l in our stubborness and resist wilfuly our Souls good shall we whilst Christ woeâ— intreats us in his word and by his spirit to be reconciled unto God to lay hold of mercy before it be too late stop our ears and haâ—den our hearts to our own destruction he can raise up Children out of the dust to praise him 't is the love and tender compassion of God towards us who wills our Saâ—vation and would not that we should perish but shouâ—d live for ever â—hall we for the love of a base lust forgo so great a blessedness O hardness of heart blinded and benummed with Sin who having any sence would not melt before beams of divine love what heart so hard as stone cannot but be pierced at the considerations of that love which with Christ hath loved us In whom is all fulness and will give out his fulness in such abundance into thy Soul as shall make thee for ever happy who would not joyfully submit to be under the protection and solâ— Goverment of such a King whose â—oke â—s easie and whose burden is light whose ways are pleasant and whose paths drop marrow and fatness in whom is all things and who iâ— infinitable to supply all wants and whatever thou standest in need of Oh consider what a blessed comfort is it for thy soul to have such a friend to stand by thee at the great and terrible day when the Lord shall pour out the Vials of his wrath rendring vengeance upon those who have wilfully neglected and made slight of those tenders of love and mercy the Lord has so freely offered unto them who have despised the means of their salvation To my dear Brothers and Sisters this poor yet sincere Manuscript of my truest love from the serious Meditations of my Soul out of the blessed Word of God Exhertations never come unseasonable never are unuseful unto the Souâ— who delights it self in the wayes of God which my Soul throuâ—h
boldness thorough Christ have â—câ—eâ—s unto the throne of Grace and through the Son injoy communion with the Father being related to God having him to be thy Father bâ—ing a member of Christ being bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh the temple of the Holy Ghost the Spirit of God dwelling in you and is God thy Father then consider who 't is is pâ—eased to own thee for a child not a man no nor the best of men would you not think it great honour to be the Son of some Noble Man much more if you were Son to a King is it honour to be Son to an earthly King an will you count it no glory to be Son to the King of Kings will you give honour to an earthly King and will you not honour him by whom Kings Reign surely if God becomes thy Father he deserves honour from such a poor wretched creature as thou art consider the transcendant love and iâ—finite wisdom of the great God in calling all out of the world if thou belong to him he will look on thee when thou art in thy blood when thou art covered over with a Leprosy of sin and corruption and no eye pittied thee when thou wert dead then he saith lâ—ve ye being an enemy he reconciled to himself through the Blood of his own Son the Son of his love in whom he was well pleased in whom he delighted in whom there was no sin neither guile found in his Mouth yet this was the infinite unspeakable Love of God to poor sinners and for our sakes was the Lord of glory willing to come down out of the Bosom of his Father into the Circle of corruped earth to disrobe himself of his gloâ—y and take upon him sinful flesh nay he took upon him the form of a Servant and â—umbled hâ—mself unto deaâ—h even thae cursed death of the Cross that he might exalt thee and purchase for thee a crown of Glory what heart is there but a heart of stone that these charractors of Gods unspeakable Love cannot make impression upon have you seen the Love of God in Christ and not been touched with a lively sence of so infinite a mercy have you experienced it is any wise and not found the love of Christ to be a constraining Love surely those that have tasted the gratious sweetness of the Lord will be filled with a holy admiration and will have a heart full of breathings after those Heavenly visions and long for a more intire Communion with the Father of mercies and the God of Love But these seem to be strange things to a carnal Soul they are not to be seen with the eyes of flesh but by the eye of faith through the opperation of the Spirit the holy spirit of God the holy Ghost the comforter which our Saviour promised to send to his disciples and with them the whole elect of God now did we but consider the miserableness of our condition by nature being dead duâ—l blockish having no life or sence at all in any spiritull action yet that the Lord should awaken such out of the graves of there sins and reveal the righteousness of Christ unto them who can but admire the infinite goodness of our God now when this spirit of God workes it comes with power discovering sin and teaching the Soul to deny all ungodlyness and sinfull lusts and to live righteously and soberly in this present evill world the Soul is convinced of siin before of righteousness Christ came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance who will seek to a physitian that is not senâ—able of any want he have of him be that thinks himself most secure hath the most need of help Laâ—dicea said she was rich and full and needed nothing when Christ found her poor blind and naked and she knew not not her miserable condition being destitute and wholy wanting When we see our selves at a loss O whether shall we go but unto Christ who is infinitely able to save unto the utâ—eâ—most all that by faith come unto him let us not dispaire for God is faithfull who hath promised and his word shall stand for ever let us fly unto the throne of his graee by that new and living way which he hath found out and appointed for the eternall comfort of poor sinners even the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord of glory and the Son of his love that whosoever truly repents from his heart and by faith lares hold upon him shaâ—l not perish but have everlasting liâ—e O let us admire the infinite goodness of the â—ord and dilligently inquire whether we have ever had this change effectuall wrought in us or no have we the shâ—mtâ—mbes of a new born Soul in us then we shall â—ee what cause we have to magnifie the riches of his grace in calling us from the world unto himself by his holy spirit that hath not suffered us to lye buryed under the ruins of our own sins out of which we cannot come without the drâ—wings of God and the greatness of the mercy wiâ—l heighten our praise when we consider the infinite number of dead Souls on the right hand and on the left and yet that the Lord should please in a more perticular manner gratiously to look upon us A Heaven born Soul as new born babe desires the sincere milke of the word that it may grow thereby which being fed upon through the power of the spirit is able to bring the Soul into a perfect state in Christ Jesus who is the word of life and the express image of his fathers person A new creature finds in himself a wonderful change every faculty of his soul is changed Christ died to redeem us to himself from the world from our vain conversations As well to sanctâ—fie us as to save us that we should live no longer to our selves but to him that hath bought us and purchased to himself a peeular people zâ—aâ—ous of Good Works that he might reign as a King in our hearts who is the King of righteousenss and who has commanded us to be holy as he is hâ—ly without which there is no seeing of the face of a holy God and siâ—ce it is onely Love and new obediance which proceed from Love that the Lord of Glory hath required of us in return of those unspeakable tokâ—ns of hiâ— Lovâ— to us O what are we or what is our Love that we should not think all we have two little for so good a God that we should not willingly render unto the Lord our ALL is nothing at all what is good is of the Lord not ours and his but just that he should have his own O then let us not keep back any part of what the Lord hath required of us but let us turn to him with the whole heart for it is his by purchase and though he hath in mercy afforded us greater comforts for our use it is not that our hearts should be taken up in them
but that we might have a Santified use with comfort of them that we might use them to his glory who is the giver of all good things these hath he given to us for to be our Servants to supply our necessity and if we set a higher price upon them he can take them from us he has required that we should set our affectiones on things more noble on things that will never fade away but are of an induring substance which if we do in the seeking the Kingdom of Heaven he has promised that all things shall be added to us O could we but do so how sweet and comfortable might our lives be when being invested in the Robe of our redeemers righteousness we may through him injoy Communion with the Father and live in the assureance of his love who hath said I will never laave thee or forsake thee O Blessed promise which if we could but by faith lay hold upon we need not be dismayed nor fear nor be in care for any thing but may with blessed David say the Lord is on my side I will not fear what Man can do unto me Meditations upon hearing the Voice of Christ MY Sheep hear my Voice the Sheep of Christ aâ—e few a little flock and to be one of these Oh how great a blessing is it the world is large and full and that the great JEHâ—VAH should please to pick out for himself one of a Tribe and one of a Family a smal remnanâ— a peculiar people and thee ONE O how great and gratious is thy wonder working God It could not be from any thing of thy desert but from his tender pitty his bowels of compassion to thy poor sin-sick soul O what canst thou render unto the Lord for all his benefits what recompence is there for so much mercy when all is mercy thou art made pâ—rtaker of yâ—a thy whole life it is made up of mercy thou art through Grace O Lord my gratious God my tender hearted Father in thy Son And if thou please to water this barren gâ—ound barren by nature it shall be made a fruitful garden yea thou canst make it bring forth fruit yea much fruit yea such fruit in which thou takest delight in which thou maist have glory is thine own Grace And give comfort to this poor unworthy Soul of mine unworthy in it self but thou dear Lord hast been pleased to favour it with so great evidence of thy Love O let me Lord for ever â—â—nd these sweet refreshing showers O how sweet a thing it is to sit at Wisdoms Gate at the footsteps of the beautiful gate of the Temple of Sions King there to behold his glory As a sheep of Christ to graise upon those Mountains of spices on which the Son of Righteousness shineth O how glorious art thou in the beauty of holiness here indeed is rest and here is comfort true satisfaction and everlasting felicity The Lord Jesus Christ the King of glory is pleased to stoop so low to poor unworthy creatures and in the condescention of his gratious Love to take upon himself the stile of a poor shepherd to his people yet is he such a one who through his grace will teach his sheep to know his voice and follow him O who can learn this Lesson Lord but such whom thou shalt teach therefore says David blessed is the man whom thou teacheth and instructest out of thy Law A shepherd leadeth his poor silly sheep creatures who of all others have least to defend themselves into the green pastures there to feed securely whilst his watchful eye is over them least Wolf or Bear should rob him of any one his care is also for the young and tender Lambs in cherishing and preserving them from cold and hunger which they cannot bear Such is the care of him who is thy Shepherd O my soul if thou art one that hears his voice if thou art one whom he hath known whom he hath looked upon in grace and mercy and so known as to make thee follow him art not thou one of his Sheep O then with comfort be assured thou shalt be fed thou art inriched by this with greater treasure and more honour then if thou wert the only child unto a King yea then if thou hadst in thy possession the greateâ—t treasure in the world know he that is thy shepherd is the Lord of Lords and King of Kings who doth not only know what thou standest in need of and what is fittest for thee but is willing yea ready to give out of his fullness to supply thy wants and help thy necessities then will I go unto my Rock since he hath brought me to behold his Glory and to taste through Grace the powerful influences of Love My earhly parents were they Kings or Princes could do no more but give me life and place to breath in but Eternal Life and endless Glory hath thy great Kingly shepherd purchased for thee 't is no less then a Kingdom hath it been the fathers good pleasure to take his little flock whilst here into his gratious Custody that none no not Satan himself that enemy of Souls shall ever be able to pluck them out of his hands Oh let thine eyes be upon him by whom thou livest that rock and fortress of thy souls salvation O what comfort is in his smiles And 't is he can keep thee in his favour and continuance of his Love therefore make glad my Soul O Lord with the bright beams of thy most glorious countenance that so my Soul may live O there is bitterness in thy frowns when thou hidest thy face I am as those that go down into the pit of utter darkness O 't is thy presence makes things pleasant to the soul and only gives it comfort in this world O 't is thy presence fits us for thy will and keeps humble and sincere before thee life is a death unto the soul without thee O that I might no more offend that Grace by which I live O Lord take thou my soul though weak into thy everlasting Arms that so I may no more be drawn aside from thy Commandments nor do the things that may displease thee Of heart examination O How good a thing it is my soul to be often taken up in this blessed work of self examination how it doth stand between thee and thy Lord the Lord will give thee his assistance to help in so great and good a work if thou wilt make thy addresses to him with blessed David commune with thy own heart and be still surely thine is not without evil when the wise man sayes the hearts of the Sons of men are full of evil yea the Lord himself hath declared Gen. 6. 5. v. and every imagination of the thoughts of Mans heart to be only evil and that continually the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked and who can know it sayes the Prophet Jer. 17 9. v. none but God he searcheth the
Lord resisteth Oh give thy poor unworthy one more grace and keep my soul humble under the sence and feeling of thy gratious Love so shall I Lord still praise thee and whilst I live extol the riches of thy grace O to injoy this sweet communion with thy glorious self Dear Lord this is more delightful and more pretious to me then to injoy the greatest treasures upon eâ—rth how pretious is the Lord unto my soul These are the excellencies and the glorious priviledge of a regenerate soul a new creature whose heart is changed through the gratious opperation of the holy spirit the whole nature is changed the glorious Image of the Lord Jesus is râ—newed on it it is made an heir of Heaven a tempâ—e of the Holy Ghost a member of Christ Of thirsting after assurance of Heaven BLessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled they shall be made to drink deep of the wells of Salvation they shall be filled in the mansions of eternal glory when others shall be deprived of the least crum of comfort t is he that seeks shall find and he that knocks shall have the door opened unto him seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and the righteousness thereof and all these things shall be added unto you things of this life are but additional acts of his bounty The great and prime part of a Christians work is to make sure of Heaven and his eâ—ernall happyness hereafter O great is that goodness of the Lord how abundant his compassion his love to poor sinful man who would not have them set their hearts on such poor low things as only this world affords but a Kingdom of glory yea an everlasting Kingdom that shall never fade a kingdom in which dwelleth righteousness the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus no less then these things would the Lord have his poor people covet after the rest are but things less material and shall be given over and above these things shall be added to you O wonderful goodness Such great and glorious priviledges such promises such additional comforts Oh what is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of him or the son of man that thou shouldest thus delight to do him good Oh my soul this is the Lords doings it is the great JEHOVAH is thus pleased to stoop and condescend on terms of mercy to take poor sinful souls into his favour I and he willeth nothing less to them then an eternal weight of Glory and is not this worth seeking after O sure it is to that soul who hath had a tast of what it is su e heavenly treasures far exceed all earthly vanities then surely in proportion to the goodness of them should the desire of the â—oul be let out after them Therefore O let thy affections be set on heavenly things since it is the goodness of the Lord to thee that thou mightest â—ast that he is gratious that thou shouldest by sweet experiences find him to be faithful in whatsoever he hath promised for good unto thy soul thy poor immortal soul which without his grace had perished to all eternity O 't is for good to thee the Lord hath thus commanded thee to seek that everlasting Kingdom O t is thy soul will be the gainer and thou through grace shall one day find it so O remember my Soul thy Covenant with God in the day of thy espousal then when it was the time of love when he was pleased to put thee in the clefts of the rock Christ Jesus and then to cause his gâ—ory to pâ—sâ— before thee to make with thee an everlasting Covenant setled and sure thâ—t in the unchangeableness of his Grace shall stand for ever wer 't thou but all wayes in the contemplations of these heavenly joyes thy heart could find no time to place it self on such mean things as this poor world affords to be rich in Grace and to be heirs of Glory O how much better is it then to be incumbred with the things below to have Communion with God and to joy in the presence of thy King is far better then to be in favour with the greatest Princes upon Earth oh let my soul dear father live daily in the rich experience of this blessed truth more and more whilst my abode is here oh let me find the daily quickning of thy gratious spirit to injoy thy presence is to live in Heaven whilst here oh tâ—s thy self that makes the passage sweet to Glory oh t is the cords of thy Love that makes the soul to run with hungrings and breathings after thee that makes it love thy precepts more then its dayly food thus thou hast made me through thy grace experimentally to tast O then hide not thy face dear Lord from my soul The Loves wherewith thou hast delighted my soul goes beyond all earthly glories oh in the sence of this let my soul walk before my God in its integrity yea for this will I go unto my God and Father for daily supplies since he it is that giveth liberally Meditations of Death IS death a terror to a gâ—atious Soul what is there in it can affright thee when as the sting is gone let it put on its worse ill shapen dress it can it shall produce no harm unto thee Death shall but â—elease thee from a wretched world of misery and prefer thee to a glorious Crown of blessedness the one will make thee everlasting miserable the other eternally happy in the fruition of the fathers Love in the full free and perfect injoyment of his glorious presence unto all eternity oh then how happy how blessed a thing it is to be dissolved and be with Christ where sin shâ—ll no more haunt thee here poor soul thou canst not chuse but see thy self daily involved with sin followed with corruptions one of the worst of sinners and in that thy shame should pull thee down into the dust and make thee daily mourn in the abhorrency of thy vile self since 't is a God of so much Love that thou dost daily sin against oh wretched Soul maist thou cry out who shall deliver thee from this body of death Yet O my soul take comfort in a dying Lord and glory in the strength of him who is the God of thy salvation O let his strength be magnified in thy weakness and the riches of his grace appear more glorious in the saving of such a one thou well maist say thou art the worst of sinners and yet through grace thou canst say thou dost abhor sin dost thou delight in it no t is thy burthen and since t is so take comfort In the remembrance of him who sweetly sayes come unto me he hath taken out the sting and is become thine advocate yea and will plead thy cause through his own merit and everlasting Righteousness in which through free grace and infinit mercy he will present thee spotless before the throne of that Heavenly Grace
But since O Lord it is thy Childrens priveledge not to sin sure t is our duty to be looking up to thee for new supply of strength to be kept daily in thy fear O how blessed is the Soul whom thou shalt keep and â—each out of thy law whom thou shalt feed with the pleasant fruits of Righteousness and cause to rest under thy shaddow with much delight sure here alone is pleasure and everlasting peace to feed with the flocks of Christ and to lye down in those pleasant pastures of eternal comfort where Christ the beloved of thy soul shall preserve thee unto all eternity Of Communion of Saints O my Soul what a mercy is it to go into the presence of the Lord in the Congregation of his people to injoy Communion with thy God in the assembly of his Saints YEt if it be his pleasure by a just cause to keep thee back yet hast thou cause to hless him for ever for Jesus Chrsst that rich mercy that unspeakable goodness for that word wherein he is received unto thee O my soul through the Spirit of that infinite grace here mayest thou sollace thy self in divine Loves and fill thy self with joy hast thou but faith then may thy joy be full in Meditating of his gratious Attributes he is the Lord God All Mighty but if not so to thee what availeth thee couldest not thou say through grace this it my Lord this great God is my Father how miserable would thy condition be to have this God to be thy enemy though thou wert full of what this world could give thee of highest injoyment yet shalt thou be for ever miserable but thy God is a merciful God O it is good for thee that he is so he is a God whose Glory is his Goodness and his goodness is his glory a God who is still the same and changeth not man may be said in all he doth or saith to be but vanity as a thing from himself he being but a finite Creature but who shall gain say the great and everlasting God whose power is in and from himself he is in deed a faithful God a God that keepeth Covenant with those whom he through grace hath taken into Covenant with him self Meditations of the unchangeable Love of God THen O my soul is the Lord unchangeable is he still the same and will be so O then reâ—oyce in the rich mercies of thy everlasting God here is comfort for thee in your assureance of his love unto the end â— have made an everlasting covenant with the house of Jacob and if thou beest of the seed of Jacob this promise sure belongs to thee Jesus Christ in Testates thee in this new covenant who hath once for all offered up himself a Sacrifice the everlasting satisfaction of divine justice for those whom by the Lords gratious determinate will should have an intrest in this rich redemption O rich indâ—ed being purchased not with corruptable things but with the pretions blood of Jesus Christ that lamb of God without spot or blemish t is want of faith poor soul makes thee doubâ—ful though thou manifest as to thy self condemn thy self as one unworthy to hope for the least mercy much less to believe such rich priviledges belong to thee yet considering my soul for to thee I write thou art commanded to believe and without faith it is impossible to please God and the Lord is thus wonderfully pleased in the great condescention of his gratious Love to take it as a glory done to him from a poor creature though the good of believeing is to us the glory of the act unto the Lord who gives the power to any poor creature to believe so to believe as to see so great a Salvation in so believeing how can the soul but stand in admirations and glorifie the riches of that grace which caused the great IEHOVAH to look upon so poor a worm with such a Love Behold with what manner of Love the Father hath loved us that we even we might become the children of God heirs with and in Christ Jesus of an eternal inheritance incorruptable and full of glory and that thou mayest be filled with joy in these thy sweetest contemplations has not the Lord then pleased sometimes to evidence his gratious love to thee in Christ Jesus and therein seek thee by his gratious word with that holy Spirit of promise to be thy God and Father O he is the same God still and if he loved thee it was with an everlasting Love if he hath taken thee into covenant with himself it was to be thy Gâ—d for ever hast thou hâ—d this saving grace made sure to thee fear not but that the Lord not onely can but will preserve his own he wiâ—l assâ—â—edly fuâ—fill and â—erefect that good work he hath begun in thee was one drop of Christs Blood â—â—â—d in vainâ— was it not of power sufficient to accomplish the end for which it was shed even the bringing many Sons to glory surely the Lord shall not come short of what he hath designed the Divil may strive to pluck thee from thy God but remember that gâ—atuus â—ord of thy redeemer unto his Sheep that hear his blessed voice and follow him I give unto the eternal life and they shall never perisâ— whom the Lord hath owned neither shall any man pluck them out of mâ— hands O what a gratious priviledge is here thus to be kept by an Almighty power the power of that great God out of whose hand no man nay Satan nor any of his Instruments can ever be able to pluck thee Christ hath purchased an everlasting redempâ—ion and to those who are in him there is no condemnation O blessed and for ever blessed be the Lord for this sweet truth and fâ—r the evidâ—ncing of it in some measure to my poor unworthy soul O how good a God is our God who hath not onely stored up such rich mercies for poor worthless ones but is also please to leave it on record and wills that his poor creatures should be made happy in the knowâ—edge of this their eternal happiness O then my soul take comfort in those bleeding wounds of thy sweet Saviour yet be thou humbled for it was thy sins that pierced his tender side he knew no sin yet for thy sake became sin to bear thy punishments thou wast his enemy yet he could dye for thee to reconcile thee to himself when thou wast in thy blood a loathsome creature then pitty moved him to shew compassion to thee that thou might live he loves thee first that thou shouldest then Love him t is not thy flesh makes thee accepted but thy Saviour thou art still a soathsome lump of filthyness but by that comliness which Christ hath put upon thee thou art accepted through an intrest in him thou shalt be beautiful in the sight of thy Lord and Father this is O soul thy priviledge renew thy intrest by thy daily approach and acting faith
thy Love run free my Soul to fill Oh leâ— the bounty of thy Love each day my Soul secure And let dear Lord thy mercies sweet to me poor worm indure So shall I tast with much delight thy blessings which are sure In them O Lord would I rejoyce as coming from the hand Of my dear Lord and Soveraign who doth all things command Let not the fulness fill my heart with pleasure and delight And take away my serious thoughts from praising thee aright O rather let me be in want then filled with loathsome Pride That will the Soul securely blind and sweetned mercies hide O let it be thy mercies still that I through grace may sing A song of praise to my Lord from whence all mercies spring Of self insufficiency HOw apt is the foolish heart of man to be puffed up with strong conceits of its own abilities and think it self something when indeed it is nothing O a monstrous piece of deceit therefore the Lord in his infinite wisdom suffers Souls to wander a little and so discovers the hearts deceitfulness that so poor creatures might go more out of themselves and see their own in abilities to any good and that they have nothing to depend on but the sure mercies of Iesus Christ have I not said with David surely I shall never be mâ—ved these sweet experiences of mercy and constraining love hath so ingaged my Soul to walk uprightly before God but I see there is no strength in me nor am I able to do any thing without fresh supplies of strengthning grace from thee therefore dear father be not far from helping thy poor worm that cries for succour from thee shall I ever give the reigns of my heart to run after the foolish pleasures of the world No not in the least there is a snare and Satan lurking to deceive therefore O Soul be watchful and dispise them all as things unworthy of thy love why they are vain and foolish but increase thou still after that greater good that Souls enamouring sweetness consisting in eternal pleasuâ—es in the most glorious Mansions of heaven where are celestial treasures and transcendant comforts Lord keep my heart from fooiish vanity And let my Soul feed ever upon thee O let my joys and comforts once again Quicken my Soul and there through grace remain O let the glory of thy grace appear To joy my Soul and to suppress my fear In sight of pretious Christ my Saviour dear Then shall I never have more cause of fear Yet t is too great a priviledge for me I have deserved naught but shame from thee Shouldest thou be just â—o mark what is amisâ— There 's nothing Lord of good dwells in my flesh T is at thy gratious footstool I woud lye To plead for mercy without which I dye Of Worldly Honour HOw poor a thing is worldly honour yet how it is hunted as if that were the chiefeli good as if the only way to make them happy were to have respect and honour from this foolish vain World poor Soul why are we so deceived with vain shadows whilst letting go the substance that Soul is truly honourabâ—e which is truly graâ—ious O how much better is it to be blessed with the least smile of Christ then to be made empress of the whole world man being in true honour understandeth not abideth not but is like the beast that perisheth soon forgetting his Maker and from whence he is tâ—ken not willing to remember that he is dust and thither he must â—eturn his heart is taken up with other things how to exceed in state in richness of attire in gallant speeches yea is there not too many who would thing it most honourable to be most vitious O how my Soul bleeds for their desperate blindness O why will you thus rebel and cause the Lord to pour forth the Vials of his Wrath upon your heads who thus prophane that holy and blessed name of the eternal glorious Majesty at whose presence Angels cover their faces and at whose voice the earth shook O what a Monster is sinful man whilst in the state of Nature But now poor Soul go not too far in searching others wayes Keep more at home unvail thy sad deceitful heart thou hast cause enough to lament and sadly bewail thy own miscarriages Is there not still rebelâ—ion harbours in thy breast O too too much many for rebelling against an earthly Prince go not unpunished but from whom dost thou revolt but from thy dear and loving father a tender hearted God who through riches of Grace looked upon thee had mercy on thee and owned thee in his dear Son the Son of his love what punishment mâ—yest thou not be thought worthy of that shouldest grieve the spirit of God who hath abounded thus in love and mercy unto thee Ah wretched soul when he hath hid it from thousands of others Surely had but the Lord been pleased to cause one of the least glimps of Glory to shine upon several of their rejected Souls they had exceeded thee in holiness of life sincerity of heart and all humble obedience they would not have had those daily failâ—ngs thou art attended with had but they tasted of that heavenly banquet that soul inriching treasure which is laid up in an eternity of Glory would they not more thirst and long O could they be satisfied without being swallowed up in Glory without that immediate possession that faith gives Heb. 11. 1. v. Would they see any thing to take delight in in this World below Christ would they not set the Lord ever before them and desire to be ever with him but what art thou and how far comest thou short in every duty but O my Lord in thee is my hope here is my comfort still for what am I without supports and supplies from thee I had fainted long ago hadst not thou by special grace upheld me and given in comforts from thy self Sure Lord it was from free love and thou hast said thy love inâ—ures for ever thou art God and therefore changeth not O therefore it is that I was not consumed long ago and since thy Grace dear Lord is still the same O let my Soul for ever trust in thee till thou shalt please to free me from this body of death in which I cannot serve thee without sin for when I would do good evil is present before me O but blessed be the Lord that there is a deliverance wrought and that by Jesus Christ and that in him I am not left without this blessed hope which being revealed in due time I shall be released and enter into my fathers joy O Heavenly joy indeed where thou shalt be for ever happy in the most glorious presence of thy Lord from whence nothing shall part thee and where thou shalt never sin more but be for ever singing HAL-LELUJAH'S to his holy Glorious Name for this then will I wait but Lord grant me help from us above to run with
patience that race which thou hast Lord appointed me to run with perseverance in true Godliness unto the end That when any Bâ—ridegroom comes I may be drest With him to go unto that Marriage Feast And being fitly trim'd may meet my Dear And gratious Lord where I shall never fear More to displease him but delighted be In fresh Communion to Eternity O blessed Lord how hast thou sweetned grace In making me to behold thy Heavenly face How beautiful dost thou appear to thine On whom thou makest thy glorious face to shine Inflame my heart Lord with more heavenly fire And fill my heart with love more to aspire Through grace dear Lord thou hast made love to me More sweet and pleasant then all Wines can be By sweetness blest and put in gratious store Given to those poor Souls which will implore Thy Heavenly blessings O let thy love then fill Mâ— Soul with Songs of praises to thee still If drops of love thus pleasant are to thee What will the Ocean in thy presence be But I have tasted the abundant goodness of my God therefore shall my Soul trust in thee and though my sins are many yet thy love is unchangeable O blessed be thou O Lord and blessed in thy everlasting love by which thou wert pleased to look upon so poor and base a creature and cloath her naked soul When new born by grace in Eternal Wisdom with that most glorious robe of Righteousness through which to afford it so glorious a priviledge as to come into thy presence even I a poor worm and to plead with the great and holy O infinite and transcendant love of the eternal glorious God to poor sinful Dust and Ashes And now what hath the Lord required in return of this his great and tender love by which he hath broken thy bands but love for love again canst thou not love the Lord with all thy heart that thus hath loved thee What love Lord was ever like that of thine to me and shall it be for gotten O shall my stupid heart forget what Christ hath done for me O let it be more deeply ingraven in my Soul But now my Soul should we examine how far thou hast gone in thy Masters work he hath committed to thee how far short doest thou come of doing what thou wert commanded yet through grace my Soul desires to be found faithful in the talent thou Lord hast in mercy committed to my trust and nothing more hath my soul desired then to be made conformable to thy blessed will in all things what is thy will O Lord let my will be wholly assenting thereto thou art he who knowest what is best for me O how sweet and how much pleasure should I find in afflictionâ— or in the greatest evils this life could inflict upon me could but I find my God in them O how sweet and glorious would be the darkest and obscurest corner of the earth might I but find there thy glorious presence far better then the Courts of Princes what are they Lord or all the pleasures of this vain world to one hours communion with thy blessed self O blessed be the holy name of my most gratious Lord who caused me to say with blessed David I had rather be a door-keeper in the House of my God then to injoy the greatest pleasures and preferments upon the earth Yea Lord so do I fear my frail Nature and my Deceitful Heart that I dare not ask thee any thing of that least I fall into temptation or be taken in a snare and so forget my God but this would I do dear â—ord wholly resign my self into thy gratious hands what Lord thou seest fitting for me let me be there with content My time O Lord which here I have is short and thy pleasure shall suffice since thou hast chose for me an Heritage Eternally in thy presence where is fulness of joy and rivâ—rs of plâ—asures for evermore but this Lord let me beg since tâ—s thy gratious pleasure thus to condescend to suffer such poor Worms to plead with thee O that thy grace may be sufficient for me to answer all my wants and subdue all my corruptions and every thing that stands in opposition to thy Glory that I may pass the time of my so journing here iâ— fear to offend my good and gratious God whom I have not found flack concerning his promise but infinitely beyond what I dare ask For Lord in thee are all my fresh springs and thou only knowest of what I stand in need this is my comfort that through grace I can say O let me ever remember it unto thy Glory that though thou feed me with the bread of affliction yet thou art my God and though I am a poor unworthy sinful creature yet art thou still a God that changeth not but thou hast made with me through thy free grace and mercy an everlasting Covenant which shall never be revoked Meditations on the power of God God being her Father FIx thou O Lord my Soul upon those heavenly Mansions those Celestial Glories where thy presence dwells then shall I say Lord make thou here my resting place my soul desires to be with thee and to behold thy Glory man in his best estate is altogether vanity and yet the infinite and holy God sees matter of pitty in him yea he pittyed them in their low estate because his mercies indure for ever it was mercy caused him to take such pitty of the poor Soul when in thy blood when poor and miserable wretchedly miserable and he is the same God still not only able but willing to continue merciful ye the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting unto them that fear him and as the heavens are in height above the earth my poor soul look up then and see O see what great things the Lord hath done for thee it is â—e the holy one of Israel who in habiteth eternity who dwelletlâ— in the â—ighest heavens in the infinite and in compreâ—ensiable God the King of glory the Lord of hosts omnipotent in power Majestyes and gâ—ory omnipotent in every place a God wâ—ose name is wonderfull and who gloryeth in his mercy because he delighteth to be gratious t is he whose own arm brought Salvation for thee and hath redeemed thy life from destruction and saved and called thee out of the cruel boâ—dage of him who sought thy finall destruction O therefore my soul forever bless the Lord and forget not all his benefits let them be written on the table of thy heart for an everlasting memoriall this great King of Heaven and earth that hath condescended so far as to stoop to the poor sinfull dust and ashes from whom thou deservest nothing but frowns and eternall wrath begs thy acceptance of him to be thy Saviour behold I stand at the door and knock O open those everlasting doors that the king of glory may come in Aâ—d take up his abode in the poor Soul so ever
O how blessâ—d is that place where thou wilt dwell shall I not be kept O keep me from sin from grieving that holy spirit of grace O come sweet Sâ—viour take up thy rest here in my poor nâ—ked Soul and let my resting place be under the shadow of thy wings then shall I fear no ill for thou art my support and comfort for ever My Soul what great use mayest thou make of this great grace what singular comforts mayest thou reap from this great benefit if this grâ—at God be thy Father poor Soul here is grace indeed why then as a father pittyeth his children so he is pleased to pitty thee O he considers thy frailty and that thou art but dust therefore as a tender father who hath long waited that he might be gratious he still retaineth mercy his everlasting mercy unto those he hath been pleased to take into his everlasting Covenant Is this God thy Father O then poor Soul how greatly art thou honoured Is it no small thing in the eye of David to become the Son in Law unto an earthly King and shall it not be a great thing in thy account to be the Daughter of so great a King Ah my poor Soul hath the Lord thus honoured thee hath he iâ—dâ—ved thee with so great a Glory O then walk worthy thereof VVilt thou dishonoâ— him that gave thee breath and formed thee out of the dust to live and praise him who hath purchased thee to bâ— a peculiar one unto himself O wilt thou defile that glory by thy unworthy walking If thine earthly Father deserves that honour as is due to him by nature and the commands of God of how much more honour is thy heavenly father worthy to whom thou art beholden for thy All O then be careful my poor Soul and do not dishonor the name of thy great God is this great God thy Father then delight thy self in his presence and rejoyce in him above all for thou â—ast found through grace how sweet t is to be in the presence of thy God and Father to solace thy self in his Love O how sweet a thing it is to possess this to injoy that Communion in which thou art said to be kissed with the kisses of his Lips and made partaker of those heavenly Glories O how good is it to be in the contemplation of these eternal and transcendant beauties these glorious streams of living waters these sweet shades of everlasting comforts and to be filled with that everlasting fulness that filleth all in all O how much better is it to my Soul to be one of the meanest in thy presence to behold thy Glory then to be the greatest potentate upon Earth Let me behold thy Glory O cause thy face to shine upon me so shall all darkness be dissipated and nothing shall appear too haâ—d for me when thou hast cloathed me with thy strength O t is thy presence makes all things beautiful O t is this presence brings true comfort and gives full satisfaction to thy Soul satisfaction is not to be had in any thing below a Saviour no not in very friends they are all but fading comforts and may leave thee and forsake thee but then saith David even then the Lord took me up my heavenly father hath a greater love a pitty for me he hath said In the presence of the Fathere shall no ill come to thee the Lord will take thy drooping Soul into his banqueting house and speak peace to thee by love imbraces he will stay thee with flaggon and comfort thy love sick Soul with the choicest delights O how sweet is his fruit eaten under his shadow what comfort is it to a wearied Soul lye down under so sweet a shade to to take its rest from scorching heats storms and tempests If thâ—s great God be my Father then I will go unto him and make known my wants he can heâ—p in every condition and supply all my wâ—nts plentifully Lord I want wisdâ—m Lord I want all things but hast thou mâ—d◠〈◊〉 â—hrist to be all things for me then in giving him to me thou givest all and blessed be thy great aâ—d holy name And â—rt thou O God my Father How can iâ— be so grâ—at a priviledge belongs to me poor worâ— O let me then indeed and truly depend on thee O let my trust be in my God and suffer not my Soul to turn aside from thy commands O my poor Soul cast all thy care upon the Lord and trust in him for ever for blessed are they that trust in him at all times and who canst thou better trust thy self with then in the hands of thy Father And such a Father whose tender bowels are so great as will not suffer any thing to come nigh thee for thy hurt he knows what is best and fittest for thee a God whose pâ—wer reacheth over all the World and can bring to pass whatsoever pleaseth him O there is nothing Lord too hard for thee thou canst in one moment make thy poor servant such as thou wouldest have her to be O do so Lord for thy dear meâ—cies sake and let the glory of all return to thee Then hast thou such a God to go to as thy faâ—her in the time of need O what comfort is there for thee in any time of outward troubles when thou canst say thou art in the hands of a graâ—ious merciful God who afflicteth buâ— in measure when â—he doth afflict and that not according to what thy sins and iniquitâ—es have deserved a God that is slow to â—â—gâ—r pâ—enteous in mercy and when he doth chastise it is to separate thee from thine iniquity and make thee know in what thou hast offended him O let the end of thy chastizing hand dear Lord be such to me as may refine my Soul from all its dross then such afflictions shall be good ye good for me that keeps me in thâ— favour that cause me to find acceptance with thee Make that a great comfort to me in the greatest streight and difficulty that can come in this world he who hath all power in his own hands shall he not do whatever he pleaseth with his own yet he hath promised never to leave nor for sake them he will be still the God of those that fear him and will deliver them when they cry unto him O therefore my soul fear the Lord and let thy trust be ever more in him fear not man who hath a Linited power and shall go no further then thy Heavenly Father gives them leave they plot and devise mischief against thee and thine anointed thou seest O Lord and wilt thou not arise to plead thine own cause that they may see and be confounded every one when there councell shall be brought to nought and they made to see the greatness of the God of Jacob O Lord though we have sinned let not thy great name be poluted by those who know thee not O let that be still more glorious though
thou part with him on any terms surely thou hast not loved him for Loaves only but for that excellency the Father hath cloathed him with the fear of man brings a snare but he that trusteth in the Lord shall be safe man says thou shalt not doe this c. t is disobedience to commands of men and the Issue of it will be either prison Banishment or death but the spirit of God says pay thy vows though it come in competition with thy very life for he that loveth his Father Mother c. Ye his very life better then me is not worthy of me and he that taketh not up his Cross to follow me cannot be my disciple then surely t is better disobeying man on earth then to be found an offender of the Majesty on high the waies of Christ are still the same good waies in persecution and they were in peace nor are they a whit the less disowned by Christ for being disallowed of man the soul that truly is established in Gospel truths is upon a sure foundation and owning Christ to be his Lord and King gives the honour due unto his King his Lord and Law giver As thy redeemer as thy saviour as a mediator now in heaven interceeding for thee as thy Lord and King as one who being fully interested in the fathers love and in all the father is and hath also made thee through grace to perticipate thereof O the unbounded richeâ— of free love what love was ever like to that of Christs who loved not his life unto the death but gave it freely for thee that thou mayest thereby freely come out of that cursed damned estate thou else hadst lain in unto all eternity and into the glorious liberty of Sons O how sweetly sounds that word Sons and Daughters heirs of a Kingdom and Co-heirs with Christ Jesus this is a believers portion and a glorious portion through the lively exercise of faith for the Lord in the offers of his grace sayes come come freely without any worth in your selves or good of your own and take my Son and with him all that shall make you eternally happy the Lord Jesus he a lone is thy redeemer he a lone is thy Redeemer he alone hath perfected the work of thy Redemption And unto him be glory ye all glory for ever and for ever who still had been a glorious and a holy God though thou hadst perished to all eternity and now what hath he required of thee O my soul but to love him to own him and this love begits obedience to him and love unto his laws and from which if thou shouldest now draw back thou wilt deny thy love to him and through a slavish fear make Shipwrack of thy faith deny the power faithfullness soveranity and omnipotency of the great God and so be come a prey to Satan and loose thy soul thy God thy Christ and all thy heavenly treasures forever the Lord in his mercy prevent it and all this for a song a sinful compliance with the men of the worâ—d and for fear of there threats sin against such Light such Love such Convictions of Conscience as the Lord through rich grace hath manifested to thee then consider how the Lord speaks to his poor covenant people who art thou that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall dye when I am on thy side who hath power to do with all men whatsoever he will am not I your Father and cannot you trust me with your preservation though in suffering times there fore O my soul trust in the Lord let him bee all thy stay and â—â—e assured all shall be well with thee if suffering be thy Lot as it is all theirs that will live Godly â—â— Christ â—esus the Lord will give out strength proportionable for he hath said that he will lay no more upon thee then he will inable thee to bear then let thy sufferings be what they will they shall be crowned with a glorious Isue thy small moment of affliction shall work for thee an eternity of glory say they then vaunt over thee with reviling speeches and reproach the too with sedition Hypocriâ— Hereticks Schismaticks c. Better is it to bear the Reproach then be truly guilty but what is this when the Lord saith Blessed are ye when all men hate Reproach and speak all manner of evil against you for my sake shall the Disciples be abâ—vt his Lord for what can they do to thee that they have not done to him He suffered a vile and shamefull death without the camp for the bearing this reproach he was scoffed at made a scorn off reviled buffered spit upon and at lengt crucified and all for thy sake taking it patiently and quietly and can't thou be content to suffer some small thing for his sake who hath suffered such great things for thee therefore my soul fix thou thy faith on Jesus Christ who ever liveth to make intercession for his affiicted ones is ready at hand to give seasonable supplies for every condition O be found still walking in his wayes and full of love to his pretious Laws and trust him with thy condition who can deliver thee from trouble or else preserve thee and bear thee up under it Blessed David saith the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me and for thy sake I have borne reproach shame hath covered my face it was good Davids portion to fall under such reproaches as were even ready sometimes to have broken his heart yet for his help hath his recourse to God ye though the Lord is pleased seemingly to turn away his ear yet he will seek no other help I was a reproach to all mine enemies but especially among my Neighbours ye his very friends reproached him but says he As for me I will call upon God and he shall save me evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry aloud he shall hear my voice O let this be thy work to approve thy integretie and sincerity unto God And so plead with thy God for mercy and deliverance for what matter is it how man Judgeth of thee so thy heart be right with God what disadvantage will reproaches bring unto thee Mâ—ses esteâ—med the reproaches of Christ greater riches then the treasures of Egypt therefore says Paul I take pleasure in reproaches Yea if you be reproached for the name of Christ hâ—pâ— are ye for the spirit of glory and of God in a more eminent manner resteth upâ—n you the Church of God in all ages hath lain under such afflictions and the father hath so ordained it for the purging away of sin the purifying of man from his dross that so he might become as tryed silver resigned fit for holy use and therefore seeing the necessity of it saith the Apostle beloved think it not stâ—ange concerning the fiery tryal which is to try you as though some strange thing happened unto you t is no new thing
therefore know thy duty in it but rejoice in as much as ye are partakers of Christs sufferings that when his glory shall be revealed ye mâ—â— be glad also with exceeding joy And in another place if you suffer with him you shall also Reign with him and let none of you suffeâ— aâ— an evill doer at a Mâ—â—derer thiefe or as a busie body in other mens matters yet if any man suffer as a Christian cleaâ—ly on that account let him not be a shamed â—ut let him glorifie God on this behalf for the time is coming that judgâ—ment must begin at the house of God and if it first begin at us what shall the end bâ— of them thaâ— obey not the Gospell of God and if the righteous scaâ—cely be saved where shall the ungodly and siners apear Wherefore let them â—hat suffer accordiâ—g to the will of God commit the keeping of their Souls to him in well doing as unâ—o a faithful Creator through grace I desire to pitch my Soul â—n everlasting faithfullnâ—ss by which I trust I shall be kept in even walking in his own paths be they never so rugged yet if I meet my Lord I shall do well his gratious presence makes every condition sweet and though this poor piâ—gramage represents nothing but thorns aâ—d bryers it will be recompensed with an eternity of glory A place where no sorrow shall be known but fulness of joy add pleasure and the compâ—eat injoyment of thy Lord for ever therefore O Lord into thy gratious care I do commit my self my Soul and spirit Lord fit me for thy will and let me only fear thy righteous judgements and be sound trembling at thy word so shall I be kept faithfull unto the end Sparks of Divine Love Love is a heavenly fire fetcht from above Irradiant beams shot from the God of Love Unâ—er those blessed shines my Soul abide Let all thy paces there be multiply'd In firength and beauty there to rest secure Through Love divine which ever shall indure Hast thou dear Lord such great things done for me And shall I not give up my heart to thee â—oo poor a thing yet Lord since 't is my All O take it Lord though it be poor and small O take it Lord by purchase it is thine Let me not any longer call it mine Nor set it on poor fond things here below Which vainly are but actors of a show Or feigâ—'d objects painted ore delights Appear a little and pass from our sights Vain shadows of a poor short Sunny day While â—e peruse them quickly fly away A praising Soul Lord shall a heaven born Soul forget to sing Eternal praises to her Lord and King Shall she be one that seemeth not to know The hand from which her mercies still do flow O quicken Lord thy servant O that she May have her life all praises unto thee O t is a life of praises thou wouldst have Thy poor redeemed ones return to thee Give Lord what thou art pleased from them to crave Of thy own store what thou acceptest must be Then my dear Lord I shall not cease to sing The Song of Canaan unto Israels King Though in a Land so far and strange I be As destitute of what I would injoy Let me by faith my Native Country see And not forsake my treasure for a toy O blessed be thy name which still doth keep My droâ—sie soul which else would ever sleep And loose its glorious comforts sweet delights Which in the presence of its Lord is found Those Heavenly Glories and transcendant sights In which to empty souls Grace doth aboundi O glorious Grace let my soul still admire And warm it self at this blest Heavenly fire O shall I grieve that glorious spirit which Is pleased to bow and condescend so low Thus to a poor unworthy sinful wretch How is it Lord that I thy Grace should know And that thou shouldest be pleased to look on me So as redeem me from such misery A hymne of free grace What shall I do my soul shall I then speak Or shall I let my heart through silence break Should I be dumb then sure stones would cry Me shame and magnifie the Lord on high Who doth his riches wonderful bestow On such pâ—oâ— wormâ— as crawleth here below But now to praise him would I fain begin Who is my God my Lord and eke my King Who in his goodness hath done more for me Then can with admiration spoken be O though I would I want both power and art For to express what lâ—es within my heart But since it is the heart Lord thou wouldest have Acceptance is the thing I only crave Receive it Lord O that I could aspire Into thy aâ—ms which is my Souls desire On wings of faith and Soaring acts of Love Oh in the Clefts behold me as thy Dove My sweetest Lord help me to sing thy praâ—se And tell the world the wonders of thy grace Shall I be dumb and live henceforth as one To whom such favor never had been shown Then were I sure unworthy ere to live But Lord what 's wanting thou canst quickâ—y give Both tongue and heart that daily I may bring Of sweetest Odour my poor offering Let my soul bless the Lord with all delight Of thy glory have a daily sight Goodness and mercy that do so excel O in its fillings my Soul still dwell The ocean of his love so sweet and pure Which shall to all eternity indure What greater good unto my soul can bring Then singing praises to my Lord and King Lord take and keep me there why shall we part T is thy own hand must hold my feeble heart A short dialogue between flesh and spirit Flesh Fond foul what â—ileth thee thus low to deem Our pleasure and our comforts here below And that thou dost so highly them estâ—em As if thou didst not care such things to know Is it not better mirth for to injoy Which maketh fat the bones and glads the heart Then in thy musings thus thy self annoy At last perswaded he with them to part Spirit Fond fleshly part this all thou hast to say Cease now with all spetious flattering speech And never think by all thy pleas to sway A soul that now is got above thy reach All thy suggestions I cannot approve Seeing in earth thy comforts all do lye But I much live in flames of heavenly love With heavenly comforts which will never dye What are your pleasures that you count so great But very froths and bubbles in the wind What can they do for you at mercies seat Or can you true contentment in them find Indeed your fleshly eâ—es cannot behold These Jewels of most rich and glorious worth That pearl of price that City of pure Gold And therefore think to set yeur pleasures forth Poor Soul alass why dost thou cavil so My comforts come from a far greater spring Then are the puffs of mirth which you would know Whilst I desire the love of Christ my
for a little very little season â—anity emptyness a bubble a pleasant â—ream to such a rich solid satisfying durable glorious enjoyment of Jesus Christ while hâ—re as but a tast of the glory shall be revealed Those vain pleasures of Youth must issue in sorrow and deep repentance and bitterness of Soul if ever pardoned and saved but the pleasure of knowing having being in Christ Jesus and the delightful fellowship of the Saints have with him issues a blâ—ssed cheaâ—fulness and joy in God without fear of Repentance unless it be that we have no more of Christ in us and that we sin against such Love and Grace so freely revealed to us Oh how happy are younger Men and Maidens as the Psalmist speaks 148 Psal that begin to fear the Lord from their youth to seek early after Jesus Christ for the Lord to see their Faces before the throne and to hear their sighs and cryes after him for Christ the Spirit saving grace power against all sin to take up a Cross and choose ye affliction and reproach of the Lords people before the vanity's Pride of Life and Fading Glory of this world this oh this is happiness soul-happiness everlasting happiness riâ—hes honour peace blessing which none can take away Especially in an Age of the great corruption of youth when Religion is made a by-word and a scorn when many hardned and blaspheme when so Few of the youth of noble and generous familyes Fall in with serious Godliness sobriety but serving divers lusts and plâ—asures to all excess of Riot to the debasing of their Spirits in a degenerateness from true Nobility and generousness of Spirit which is in knowledge good learning true wisdom and piety as fitting them to serve God and their Generation Oh in the midst of such impiety's how beautiful how honourable how pleasing to the Holy God for any younger persons especiall such as pretend to a generous mind and education such as are in Family's where excess prophaneness abounds or the Sons and Daughters of Godly Parents to betake your selves to seek and know and fear serve the great blessed God betimes to be an example and a blessing to secure Christ and holiness and heaven to walk in the truly noble delightful pretious ways which this peice and she that lived it holds forth unto thee In order hereunto how should the Soul of Parents unless they will be Soul Murtherers to their Children be in travail for grace and Conversion for their Children and not think it enough to get them Estates honours and great things in this Life and leave them and it under a curse that all sorts of Parents not only give them liberty but incourage them to Godliness to pray and read the Scriptures and attend upon powerful means of grace to tremble at sin to dispose of them in the world in order hereunto as this blessed Soul acknowledgeth the good use of Parents reproof and instructions unto her 1. In this peice you have first an account of her Conversion and calling how the Lord gradually carried on her first convictions her daily diligence in prayer and the word when a child the discoveryes she had of the Free grace of the Gospel of the Mistery of Christ of Righteousness by Faith of being in Christ of the love oâ— God and Fâ—llowship with him of which she gives an exact and distinct account discovering the choice and spiritual understanding she had in the Mistery of the Gospel not taking up only from sin to duty when Christ and grace little understood as it may be feared many do nor yet turning grace into wantonness but under the constraints of the choice discoveryes of Free and glorious Grace and the loves of God in the admirement and adoration of which she lived to attend to most intimate Communion with him the breathings and parting 's of her Soul as you will see still running out afrer more injoyment of and likeness to her deaâ— Lord Jesus and exactest holiness bemoaning her self wherein she fell short 2. Next you will meet witk her longing after the reâ—l Communion of Saints which all profess to believe in the Creed but will not bear the practice of in the pure ordinances of the Gospel in a con Congregational Chuch so called which when she enjoyed she expressed those blessed delights she had in Fellowship with the Lord Jesus the kisses of his Lips she there met with his blessed Ordinances and establishment of soul in peace and joy in believing 3. You have a choice discourse of Wisdom the true Heavenly Wisdom which her Soul diligently sought after and found which was more pretious to her then Rubies and all the things that are not to be compared to it the rich experience whereof she commends to the World in the debasement of all fleshly Wisdom iâ— comparison of it Especially to her dear Relations in the flesh which is the next particular in this discourse to whose acceptance she commends it with such bowels and gratioâ— affection and sweetness of Spirit such powerfâ—l convincing motives and from what of Heaven her own Soul hath tasted as might become one very skilful in the word of Righteousness to whose serioâ— perusal with the blessing of God I would commend it as that which may lead you into the path of Life helpt on by the singular example of her Life in her Holy sweet acceptable conversation towards you which I hope you are convinced did arise from a divine principle of Grace so to fill up every Relation to you longing after all your Eternal Salvation in Christ Jesus oh may all of you be ingaged not only to read but to beg of God the same Spirit of Wisdom and grace that was found in her to walk in the same steps and wayes Heaven ward that this be not a witness against any of you at the great day of Jesus Christ 4. The next part is as she stiles it the mistery of Godliness namely of the mistery of God in Christ the grace and love of â—â—e Father revealed by hâ—m in which I may take libâ—rty to say is as much of the Misteâ—y of the Gospel discoveâ—ed as usuaâ—ly I have met with in so little a Room especially as to living in a delightful fellowship therewith which was her great business till taken up unto him 5. The rest consists of occasional Meditations choice experiences ravishments of Divine Love admirations of grace holy praises sweet supports under tryals with the account she used to take of her self of hearing the word and the preparation of her soul thereto in those pretious longings of her Soul to meet with her dear Lord in Ordinances and the high value she put upon Communion of Saints in a Church of Christ of which there is but Room for the giving out of some tastes in this little Treatise Lastly her Meditations of death which the spirit of Christ was preparing her for in her time of health whereby death was made familiar to her
away my distemper and so heal mâ— that I have through his mercy never since been troubled with it I fell under some other tryal but the Lord was pleased to inlarge my heart to lay open my case before him and in mercy caused me to see that he did not dispise my poor supplications but was gratiously pleased to sweeten my troubles and by this to comfort me in that they carried me nearer to the Lord sometimes he was pleased to mittigate them but mostly gave me strength to go through them and patiently to bear them thus was the Lord pleased to exercise his loving kindness and tender compassions to my poor soul carrying of it as a Lamb in his Arms But oh why was my heart so dead that I was so long contented in a state of Ignorance and not more desirous to come to the knowledge of his ways but thou O Lord art good and thy ways past finding out thy tender compassions never fails those whose hearts are upright before thee O blessed is the Soul to whom thou impuâ—est no sin for certainly O Lord shouldst thou have been so just aâ— to mark what was done amiss O Lord my sins my corruptions my daily actings besides that guilt of original sin brought into the world with me was enough to have sunk me into the bottomless pit for ever I could not see the need I had of my troubles nor the end for which they were sent but blessâ—d be thy Name O Lord who in thy righteousness and goodness and tender mercy didâ—â— afflict me thou mightest have spared thy pains and have bestowed those sweet discoveries of thy love on such who would have better improved it and have let me perish to all Eternity Oh how is my soul bound for ever to extol the riches of thy grace now I have seen his glory I abhor my self in dust and ashes oh how unworthy am I to appear before â—â—ee but blessed be thy name who have not left me in despair but in the sight of my unworthiness and the wretchedness of my condition caused me to seâ— that there was hope concerning this matter that thou hadst laid help upon one who was mighty to save About a years time I lived very contentedly and in much ease in my outward conditions but I began to be unmindful of the Lord who had done so much for me O how apt was I to forget the rock of my salvation I began to find these things indifferent to me which before I had prosecured with much Zeal the dishonoring of Gods name by others being so common where I was I did not find my seâ—f so affected as before nor so much troubled at it till the Lord was pleased by new allarums to awâ—ken my drowsiâ—â—oul which was so willing to be lulled a sleâ—p bâ— Satan in a sinful security and by afflictions some outward trouble brought me truly to consider my wayes and to lie low again before the Lord often spreading my condition before him in private who was gratiously pleased once more to look upon me and caused me to see the tenderness of his love towardâ— me Then did I begin to grieve at their dishonouring God by their profane walkings and the Lord was pleased to cause an aw upon my spirit concerning him and his ways I was mighty desirous to receive the Lords Supper but I darâ—d not I wondred at some that made so light a thing of it when I found it to be of much weight upon my spirit I found them in their ways very prophane and cold to any good duty I then began to apply my heart unto the Scriptures desiring the Lord to give me an understanding therein it was much upon my spirit to desire that the Lord would be pleased to open my heart as he did lydia's that so I might attend unto the things that were of God It pleased the Lord my time being expired at â—chool to return me home to my Fathers house Mr Pierce being then Minister the first Sermon I heard from him did much take upon my affections and raise up my desires unto the ways of God preaching from the 4. Cant. 7. 8. Thou art all fair my love there is no spot in thee wherein he opened the beauty of a Soul in Christ and the love the Lord was pleased to honour such a Soul withall this filled me with desires and longings to be such a one but how to attain unto it I did not know then was I full of fears and doubtings and Satan brought into my mind my evil and unworthy walkings under so much of the love of God as I had been partaker of this made my Soul walk heavily under much dispute a long time and when the Lord was pleased to come into my heart by a word at any time which did refresh me it lusted but a little time The Devill would be ready to tell me that was not my part I was too apt to catch at Châ—ldrens bread and think that my own which did not belong to me thus did he follow me a long time robbing me of the comfort of many a sweet Sermon making me waâ—k in such sadness which was taken notice of by my fâ—iends I would fain have related my condition and declared my doubts but could not do it yet in these doubts found some comfort I found my Soul much carried out in love to Christ I could delight to sit alone and meditate on the love of Christ held forth in the Gospel to poor sinners and in the former testimonies of his love wherewith he had followed me in every outward providence my soul would be many times carried out to admire the freeness of his love my soul longed for such a heavenly communion which put me much at the throne of Grace to desire one glimps of his Glory one testimony of â—is love in Christ but Satans suggestion put â—e to a loss in my comfort he would often perswade me I was a Hypocrite and that I was fallen from Grace this was a sad and great burden upon my spirit and I thought my sins was so great I must cry out with Cain my punishment should be greater then I can bear yet was the Lord in his goodness pleased not long to leave me in this condition but to incline my heart more and with much affection to the word remembring the deadness of spirit I had been under There was few I was acquainted with whom I could in the least have any converse with in the whole Town thus did I labour to keep my troubles to my self I remember a senteâ—ce which did something refresh me which was He wâ—ll lead sinâ—ers â—n the right way and the Lord was pâ—eased to come into my heart with this truth I never said unto the â—ouse of Jacoâ— sâ—ek ye me in vain then did I go unto the Lord aâ—d earnestly desire the assistance of his spirit to seek counsel in this matter I sought oveâ— the book of God and begged of
ones O then my Soul fly thou unto the Throne of Grace Loose not so great an opportunity of coming to thy Saviour refuse not so great love tendred unto thee the bearing so great a burthen the weight of which would sink thee down into the bottomless pit of eternal perdition under the heavy wrath of God there to have perished to all eternity O the unfathomed and transcendant love of thy God and Heavenly Father O my Soul how canst thou read and not live ever in the meditations of such great and glorious Love as this where with the Lord hath loved thee he was content to give himself a ransome unto death to satisfie the Justice of his Father and to regain that favour for thee which thou by sin hadst lost he was content not only to forsake the bosom of his father to empty himself of all his glory but to come down upon this sinful earth he who was the glory of the whole world was content to confine himself in a Virgins Womb he who had possession of the utmost parts of the earth was now content with a poor lodging in a stable he who is a King of Glory was pâ—eased to take upon him the form and habit of a servant and all for thee he was content to be come poor and low that thou through his poverty mightest become rich he who with one blast of his Nostrils could have consumed at once his enemies was now content to be scourged buffeted spit upon crowned with Thorns and all this to purchase life for sinners he who was equal with God the express image of his fathers person he the Son of God the dearly beloved of his Soul was sweetly content to bear the scoffs and base reproaches of sinful maâ—e and prayed for them Father forgive them for they know not what they do this the Lord Jesus was pleased to undergo for thee nor is this all but O those bloody sweats which run down his tender cheeks for thy hard heart those terrible agonies of Soul he felt having the whole wrath of God due unto thee and the world of sinners poured forth upon himself being smitten as with the strokes of an enemy which made him cry out my God my God why hast thou forsaken me these are the gratious evidences of the Love of God to these poor sinful Souls and thus hateful is sin in the eyes of a holy God as not to spare it in his dear and only Son who never sinned but in that he took upon him our sins he must also bear our punishment he himself bear our iniquities in his own body upon the tree he became a curse for thee to redeem thee from the curse of the Law this was the love of thy Saviour O behold the Love of thy Redeemer how powerful and constraining is this Love was ever any Love like this Hardly shall we see a Man lay down his Life for us when we were enemies to be buried in a Grave that with him thy sins might be buried in everlasting forgetfulness he rose again that in him thou mightest be glorified and to prepare a place for thee in endless Glory where he is now at the right hand of God making intercession for thee who would not have an Interest in this Christ who would not be in union with this Saviour O Soul tast and behold the goodness of this Lord in whom it hath pleased the Father all fulness should dwell Oh the sweet constraining power of his transcendant Love who loved thee when thou wert miserable to make thee happy O who would not fear thee O thou King of Naâ—ions and now what hath thy glorified Redeemer thy Lord required of thee for all his love to thee he caused thee to cast thy burden upon him when weary and heavy laden and imposeth nothing upon thee but a sweet and easie yoke take my yoke upon you be intressed in my Love what is this yoke but a sweet complacency of love in uniting of the parties loving Soul saith the Lord of Lords give me thy sins and take my self to be thy Saviour take my yoke on thy neck that so thou mayest become in union with me thou maist become mine and I thine as my tender Spouse Lord what are we poor empty sinful creatures that thou shou dest thus condescend to woe invite intreat such poor despicable creatures who mightest command us by thy power to do whatever pleaseth thee O were it not the infinite goodness of our God to poor sinful man thou mightest have left us to have perished in our iniquities and raised up children of the stones to praise thee O sweet condescending love for us to be yoked in your affections unto thee and from enemies become thus thy friends to receive the yoke of Christ it is to receive the love and commands of Christ and be united as a branch unto the vine by which thou doest injoy true Spiritual communion with thy God what happiness like this how great and many are the priviledges that come by him O blessed be God for this love and the eternal riches of his grace in effecting and calling thee to so great an eternal weight of glory O had it not been through free grace what benefit couldest thou have had of this most glorious redemption by Jesus Christ what power couldest thou have had to come and cast thy self at his feet uâ—der the weight of thy sins it was free grace that led the out to see thine own insufficency unto any thing that was good and thy miserable condition without a Christ O was it not free grace and mercy by which the Lord was pleased to draw thereby the cords of love unto the Lord Jesus by whom a lone thou hast redemption O what hadest thou been and what had been thy life had it not been for this sweet crown of all thy comforts therefore O Lord to thee be glory for the riches of thy grace by which my soul is yet alive to praise thee and blessed be thy mercy for it is great to me poor miserable sinner what are the priviledges thou injoyest through this sweet union with thy Saviour O surely they are enough to make rhee live for ever in the meditations of them who can fathome that bottomless Ocean O how canst thou comprehend that which is in comprehensible this love which passeth understanding into which the more thou searchest the more thou admirest O what canst thou say but be filled with holy admiration to behold with what manner of Love the Father the omnipotent King of Kings and the eternal Lord who reigns in endless Glory hath loved thee Meditations on the great mistery of Godliness O how great is the mistery of Godliness in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ HOw wonderful excellent of how great concern to know him aright Help thou my Soul dâ—ar Lord to meditate on this swâ—â—â— incomprehensible subject O fill it with this Rich and Heavenly Treasure O let me not