yet this was that which caused her just joy That she had not so much children as nations in her womb even so the trouble of this inward conflict is abundantly requited with the joy of this assurance That now Christ is come into our soul and is working his own desired ends in and upon us Let vain and sensual hearts please themselves in their inward peace and calmness there cannot be a greater signe of gracelesness and disfavor of God When they shall say Peace Peace then shall come upon them sudden destruction The old word was No safety in War here it is contrary It is this intestine war of the heart with fire and sword to our corruptions that must bring us true rest for the present and hereafter eternal peace and happiness Now Lord since it is thy desire that this fire should be kindled kindle thou and enflame my heart with a fervent desire and endeavor that this thy desire may be accomplished in me Set me at war with my self that I may be at peace with thee XVI In all that we have to do with God he justly requires and expects from us an awful disposition of heart towards his infiniteness hereupon it was that he delivered his Law in thunder fire smoke and all dreadful magnificence And when upon the same day he would send down his Spirit for the propagation of the Gospel it was done with an astonishing Majesty with a sound from Heaven as of a rushing mighty wind and with the apparition of cloven and fiery tongues And as it was thus in the descent of the Holy Ghost in the miraculous gifts so it is in the sanctifying Graces Seldom ever doth God by them seize upon the heart but with a vehement concussion going before That of S t Pauls conversion was extraordinary and miraculous but in some degree it is thus in every soul We are struck down first and are made sensible of our spiritual blindness ere our full call be accomplished as it was with Elijah in the Mount of Horeb There came first a strong wind that tore the Rocks and Mountains and after that an earth-quake then a fire before the still small voyce so it is usually in our brests ere the comfortable voyce of Gods Spirit speak to our hearts there must be some blustrings and flashes of the Law It is our honor and his favor that we are allowed to love God it is our duty to fear him We may be too familiar in our love we cannot be too awful in our fear XVII All valuations of these outward things are arbitrary according to the opinion of their pleasure or their rarity or the necessity of their use Did not mens mindes set a price upon mettals what were they better then some other entrails of the earth or one better then other If by publike law the mint were ordained to be onely supplyed by our stanneries how currantly would they pass for more precious then silver mines To an Indian a bracelet of worthless Beads is estimated above his Gold an hungry Esau values a mess of pottage above his birth-right In the siege of Samaria an Asses head was sold for fourscore peeces of silver and a Kab of Doves dung for five peeces We have heard that those of Angola have valued a Dog at the price of many slaves In all these earthly commodities the market rises and falls according to conceit and occasion neither is there any intrinsecal and setled worth in any of them onely Spiritual things as Vertue and Grace are good in themselves and so carry their infinite value in them that they make their owner absolutely rich and happy When therefore I see a rich man hugging his bags and admiring his wealth I look upon that man with pity as knowing the poorness of that pelf wherein he placeth his felicity neither can I behold him with other eyes then those wherewith a discreet European sees a savage Indian priding himself in those trifles which our children have learned to contemn On the other side when I see a man rich in the endowments of minde well-fraught with knowledg eminent in goodness and truly gracious I shall rise up to that man how homely so ever his outside be as the most precious and excellent peece which this world can afford XVIII Should I but see an Angel I should look with Manoah to dye no other death then the sight of that glory and yet even that Angel is fain to hide his face as not able to behold the infinite Majesty of God his Creator When Moses did but talk with God in the Mount for fourty days his face did so shine that the Israelites could not look upon the lustre of his countenance even the very presence of the Divine Majesty not onely hath but communicates glory Lord that I could see but some glimpse of the reflection of those glorious beams of thine upon my soul how happy should I be in this vision whose next degree is perfectly beatifical XIX As good so evil is apt to be communicative of it self and this so much more as it meets with subjects more capable of evil then good the breath of a plague-sick man taints the air round about him yea the very sight of blear eyes infects the sound and one yawning mouth stretcheth many jaws How many have we known that have been innocent in their retiredness miserably debaucht with leud conversation Next to being good is to consort with the vertuous It is the most merciful improvement of an holy power to separate the precious from the vile it is the highest praise of a constant goodness for a Lot to be righteous in the midst of Sodom XX. We are all apt to put off the blame of our miscarriages from our selves Even in paradise we did so It was the woman saith Adam it was the Serpent saith the woman How have we heard fond gamesters cast the blame of their ill luck upon the standers by which intermedled nothing but by a silent eye-sight So the idolatrous Pagans of old though flagitiously wicked yet could impute their publike judgments to none but the Christians whose onely innocence was their protection from utter ruine So foolishly partial doth our self-love render us to our own demerits that all are guilty save our selves Yea rather then we will want shifts our very stars shall be blamed which are no more accessary to our harms then our eyes are to the Eclipses of their most eminent Lights As on the contrary we are ready to arrogate unto our selves those blessings which the meer bounty of Divine Providence hath cast upon us whereto we could not contribute so much as an hand to receive them but by the mercy of the giver It cannot be well with me till I have learned to correct this palpable injustice in both challenging to my self all my errors and guilt of sufferings and yielding to God the praise his own free and gracious beneficence XXI How profitable and
holy Spirit they could never think they had enough and whiles they do think so they are utterly uncapable of either having or desiring more As there is a sinful so there is an holy covetousness which the more it hath the more it affects Lord make me thus covetous and I cannot chuse but be rich XLIII What a marvelous familiarity was this which Moses had with God That the Lord spake unto Moses face to face as a man speaketh to his friend and yet more that Moses so spake to God! what a bold and high request was that which Moses made to God I beseech thee shew me thy glory that is as it is there interpreted thy face that face which no man might see and live Lo God had immediately before spoken to Moses even to his face out of the cloudy pillar that doth not satisfie his holily-ambitious soul but as he heard the voyce so he must see the face of the Almighty That cloudy pillar did sufficiently represent unto him the presence of the great God of Israel yet still he sues for a sight of his glory This is no patern for flesh and blood far be it from our thoughts to aspire so high Thy face O God will we seek but in thy blessed ordinances not in thy glorious and incomprehensible essence It is not for me as yet to presume so far as to desire to see that infinite light which thou art or that light wherewith thou art cloathed or that light inaccessible wherein thou dwelest Onely now shew me the light of thy countenance in grace and prepare my soul for that light of glory when I shall see as I am seen XLIV In the waters of life the divine Scriptures there are shallows and there are deeps shallows where the lamb may wade and deeps where the Elephant may swim If we be not wise to distinguish we may easily mis-carry he that can wade over the foord cannot swim through the deep and if he mistake the passage he drowns What infinite mischeif hath arisen to the Church of God from the presumption of ignorant and unlettered men that have taken upon them to interpret the most obscure Scriptures and pertinaciously defended their own sense How contrary is this to all practise in whatsoever vocation In the Taylors trade every man can stitch a seam but every man cannot cut out a garment In the Saylers art every one may be able to pull at a cable but every one cannot guide the helm In the Physitians profession every gossip can give some ordinary receits upon common experience but to finde the nature of the disease and to prescribe proper remedies from the just grounds of art is proper to the professors of that science and we think it absurd and dangerous to allow every ignorant Mountebank to practise In matter of law every plain country-man knows what belongs to distraining impounding replevying but to give sound counsel to a clyent in a point of difficulty to draw firm conveyances to plead effectually and to give sound judgment in the hardest cases is for none but Barristers and Benchers And shall we think it safe that in Divinity which is the mistress of all Sciences and in matters which may concern the eternal safety of the soul every man should take upon him to shape his own coat to steer his own way to give his own dose to put and adjudg his own case The old word was that Artists are worthy to be trusted in their own trade Wherefore hath God given to men skill in arts and tongues Wherefore do the aptest wits spend their times and studies from their infancy upon these sacred imployments if men altogether inexpert in all the grounds both of art and language can be able to pass as sound a judgment in the depths of Theological truths as they How happy were it if we could all learn according to that word of the Apostle to keep our selves within our own line As Christians the Scriptures are ours but to use to enjoy to read to hear to learn to meditate to practise not to interpret according to our private conceit for this faculty we must look higher The Priests lips are to preserve knowledg and they shall seek the Law at his mouth for he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts XLV When we see the year in his prime and pride decked with beautiful blossoms and all goodly varieties of flowers cheered with the Musick of birds and stated in a sweet and moderate temper of heat and cold how glad we are that we have made so good an exchange for an hard and chilling winter and how ready we could be to wish that this pleasant and happy season might last all the year long But herein were our desires satisfied we should wish to our own great disadvantage for if the spring were not followed with an intension of Summers heat those fruits whose hopes we see in the bud and flower could never come to any perfection and even that succeeding fervor if it should continue long would be no less prejudicial to the health and life of all creatures and if there were not a relaxation of that vigorous heat in Autumn so as the sap returns back into the root we could never look to see but one years fruit And thus also it is spiritually if our prosperity were not intermixed with vicissitudes of crosses and if the lively beams of grace were not sometimes interchanged with cold desertions we should never know what belongs to spiritual life What should we do then but be both patient of and thankful for our changes and make no account of any constancy till we attain to the Region of rest and blessedness XLVI What fools doth the devil make of those men which would fain otherwise be accounted wise who would think that men could be so far forsaken of their reason as to fall down before those stocks and stones which their own hands had carved to guide their enterprises by the fond auguries of the flying or posture or noyse of fowls or the inspection of the entrails of beasts to tye the confidence of their success to certain scrawls and characters which themselves have devised to read their own or others fortunes in their hands or stars to suffer themselves mocked with deceitful visions neither are his spiritual delusions less gross and palpable wise Solomon speaks of the wickedness of folly and we may no less truly invert it the folly of wickedness the fool saith our Saviour builds his house upon the sand so as it may be washt away with the next waves what other doth the foolish worldling that builds all his hopes upon uncertain riches momentany pleasures deceitful favors The fool saith Solomon walketh in darkness the sinner walks in the darkness of ignorance through the works of darkness to the pit of darkness The fool saith the Preacher knows not the way into the city The worldling may perhaps hit
by the ministery of Angels be received up to those everlasting habitations Here is an Assumption therefore true and happy though not as yet total And why should I not therefore have my heart taken up with the assured expectation of this receiving up into my glory Why do I not look beyond death at the eternally-blessed condition of this soul of mine which in my dissolution is thus crowned with immortality So doth the Sea-beaten Marriner chear up himself with the sight of that Heaven which he makes for So doth the Travailer comfort himself when after a tempestuous storm he sees the Sun breaking forth in his brightness I am dying but O Saviour thou art the resurrection and the life he that beleeves in thee though he be dead yet shall he live Awake and sing ye that dwel in the dust for thy dew is as the dew of herbs and the earth shall cast out the dead Blessed are the dead that dye in the Lord for they rest from their labors and their works follow them LXVII What need I be troubled that I finde in my self a fear of Death what Israelite is not ready to run away at the sight of this Goliah This fear is natural and so far from being evil that it was incident into the Son of God who was heard in that which he feared Christianity serves not to destroy but to rectifie nature Grace regulates this passion in us and corrects the exorbitances of it never intended to root it out Let me therefore entertain this fear but so as that I may master it if I cannot avoyd fear let it be such as may be incident into a faithful man Whiles my fear apprehends just terror in the face of Death let my faith lay fast hold on that blessed Saviour who hath both overcome and sweetned it on that blessed estate of glory which accompanies it my fear shall end in joy my death in advantage LXVIII It is too plain that we are faln upon the old age of the world the last times and therefore nearest to the dissolution and if time it self did not evince it the disposition and qualities would most evidently do it For to what a cold temper of charity are we grown what meer Ice is in these spiritual veins the unnatural and unkindly flushings of self-love abound indeed every where but for true Christian love it is come to old Davids pass it may be covered with clothes but it can get no heat Besides what whimsies and fancies of dotage do we finde the world possessed withal beyond the examples of all former times what wilde and mad opinions have been lately broached which the setled brains of better ages could never have imagined Unto these how extreamly cholerick the world is grown in these later times there needs no other proof then the effusion of so much blood in this present age as many preceding centuries of years have been sparing to spill What should I speak of the moral distempers of diseases the confluence whereof hath made this age more wickedly-miserable then all the former for when ever was there so much prophaneness atheism blasphemy schism excess disobedience oppression licentiousness as we now sigh under Lastly that which is the common fault of age loquacity is a plain evidence of the worlds declinedness for was there ever age guilty of so much tongue and pen as this last were ever the Presses so cloyed with frivolous work Every man thinks what he lists and speaks what he thinks and writes what he speaks and prints what he writes Neither would the world talk so much did it not make account it cannot talk long What should we do then since we know the world truly old and now going upon his great and fatal Climacterical but as discreet men would carry themselves to impotent and decrepit age bear with the infirmities of it pity and bewail the distempers strive against the enormities and prepare for the dissolution LXIX There cannot be a stronger motive to awe and obedience then that which Saint Peter enforceth That God is both a Father and a Judg The one is a title of Love and Mercy the other of Justice What ever God is he is all that he is all Love and Mercy He is all Justice He is not so a Judg that he hath waved the title and affection of a Father He is not so a Father that he will remit ought of his infinite justice as a Judg He is he will ever be both these in one and we must fasten our eyes upon both these at once and be accordingly affected unto both He is a Father therefore here must be a loving awe He is a Judg and therefore here must be an awful love and obedience So must we lay hold upon the tender mercies of a Father that we may rejoyce continually so must we apprehend the Justice of a righteous Judg that we do lovingly tremble Why then should man despair God is a father All the bowels of mortal and humane love are straight to his Can a woman forget her sucking childe that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb yea they may forget yet will I not forget thee saith the Lord. That which is the title of his personality in divine relation is also the title of his gracious relation to us Father neither can he be other then he is styled And contrarily how dare man presume since this Father is a Judg It is for sinful flesh and blood to be partial foolish parents may be apt to connive at the sins of their own loyns or bowels because theirs either they will not see them or not hate them or not censure them or not punish them The infinite justice of a God cannot wink at our failings There is no debt of our sin but must be paid in our selves or our surety If then we call him Father who without respect of persons judgeth according to every mans work why do we not pass the time of our sojourning here in fear LXX How terrible a motion was that which was made by the two Disciples of commanding fire to come down from Heaven and consume the inhospital Samaritans Me thinks I could tremble but at the imagination of so dreadful a judgment as they did not fear to sue for Yet if we look to the offence it was no positive act of indignity offered to Christ but the meer not lodging of his train and that not out of a rude inhumanity but out of a religious scruple what could they have said if these Samaritans had pursued them with swords and staves and stones Whom shall we hope to finde free from cruelty of revenge when even the Disciple of Love was thus over-taken What wonder is it if natural men be transported with furious desires when so eminent Domesticks and followers of our Saviour were thus faulty Surely nature in man is cruel neither is there any creature under Heaven so bloody to
the matter our souls may fly thitherward with them If we do good and be rich in good works ready to distribute willing to communicate laying up in store for our selves a good foundation against the time to come that we may lay hold on eternal life Let me say with Agur Give me neither poverty nor riches but whethersoever God gives I am both thankful and indifferent so as whiles I am rich in estate I may be poor in spirit and whiles I am poor in estate I may be rich in grace XCI Had I been in the streets of Jericho sure me thinks I should have justled with Zacheus for the Sycomore to see Jesus and should have blessed my eyes for so happy a prospect and yet I consider that many a one saw his face on earth which shall never see his glory in Heaven and I hear the Apostle say Though we have known Christ after the flesh yet now henceforth know we him so no more O for the eyes of a Stephen that saw the Heavens opened and the glory of God and Jesus standing on the right hand of God! That prospect did as much transcend this of Zacheus as Heaven is above Earth celestial glory above humane infirmity And why should not the eyes of my faith behold the same object which was seen by Stephens bodily eyes I see thee O Saviour I see thee as certainly though not so clearly Do thou sharpen and fortifie these weak eyes of mine that in thy light I may see light XCII How gracious a word was that which God said to Israel I have called thee by thy name and thou art mine He that imposed that name upon Jacob makes familiar use of it to his posterity Neither is the case singular but universally common to all his spiritual issue There is not one of them whom he doth not both call by his name and challenge for his own He that tells the number of the stars and calls them all by their names hath also a name for every of these earthly luminaries He who brought all other living creatures unto man to see how he would call them and would make use of Adams appellation reserved the naming of man to himself neither is there any one of his innumerous posterity whom he knowes not by name But it is one thing to take notice of their names another thing to call them by their names that denotes his omniscience this his specialty of favor none are thus graced but the true Sons of Israel As Gods children do not content themselves with a confused knowledg of a Deity but rest not till they have attained a distinct apprehension of their God as he hath revealed himself to man so doth God again to them It is not enough that he knows them in a general view as in the throng wherein we see many faces none distinctly but he singles them out in a familiar kinde of severalty both of knowledg and respect As then he hath names for the several Stars of Heaven Cimah Cesil Mazzaroth c. And for the several Angels Gabriel Raphael Michael c. and calls them by the proper names which he hath given them so he doth to every of his faithful ones Of one he saith Thou shalt call his name John Of another Thou art Simon thou shalt be called Cephas To one he says Zacheus come down to another Cornelius thy prayers and thine alms are come up In short there is no one of his whom he doth not both know and call by his name What a comfort is this to a poor wretched man to think Here I walk obscure and contemptible upon earth in a condition mean and despised of men but the great God of Heaven is pleased to take such notice of me as even from Heaven to call me by my name and to single me out for Grace and Salvation and not onely to mention my name from above in the gracious offer of his Ordinances but to write it in the eternal Register of Heaven What care I to be inglorious yea causelesly infamous with men whiles I am thus honored by the King of glory XCIII It is the great wisdom and providence of the Almighty so to order the dispositions and inclinations of men that they affect divers and different works and pleasures Some are for manuary trades others for intellectual imployments One is for the Land another for the Sea one for husbandry another for merchandise one is for Architecture another for Vestiary services one is for fishing another for pasturage and in the learned trades one is for the mistress of Sciences Divinity another for the Law whether Civil or Municipal a third is for the search of the secrets of Nature and the skill and practice of Physick and each one of these divides it self into many differing varieties Neither is it otherwise in matter of pleasures one places his delight in following his Hawk and Hound another in the harmony of Musick one makes his Garden his paradise and enjoys the flourishing of his fair Tulips another findes contentment in a choice Library one loves his Bowl or his Bowe another pleases himself in the patient pastime of his Angle For surely if all men affected one and the same trade of life or pleasure of recreation it were not possible that they could live one by another Neither could there be any use of commerce whereby mans life is maintained neither could it be avoyded but that the envy of the inevitable rivality would cut each others throat It is good reason we should make a right use of this gracious and provident dispensation of the Almighty and therefore that we should improve our several dispositions and faculties to the advancing of the common stock and withal that we should neither encroach upon each others profession nor be apt to censure each others recreation XCIV He were very quick-sighted that could perceive the growing of the grass or the moving of the shadow upon the Dial yet when those are done every eye doth easily discern them It is no otherwise in the progress of grace which how it increaseth in the soul and by what degrees we cannot hope to perceive but being grown we may see it It is the fault of many Christians that they depend too much upon sense and make that the judg of their spiritual estate being too much dejected when they do not sensibly feel the proofs of their proficiency and the present proceedings of their regeneration why do they not as well question the growth of their stature because they do not see every day how much they are thriven Surely it must needs be that spiritual things are less perceptible then bodily much more therefore must we in these wait upon time for necessary conviction and well may it suffice us if upon an impartial comparing of the present measure of our knowledg faith obedience with the former we can perceive our selves
with the desire of them and let that desire never finde it self filled XXIX How comfortable a style is that O God which thine Apostle gives to thine Heaven whiles he cals it the inheritance of the Saints in light None can come there but Saints the roomes of this lower world are taken up commonly with wicked men with beasts with Devils but into that heavenly Jerusalem no unholy thing can enter Neither can any Saint be excluded thence each of them have not only a share but an entire right to thy glory And how many just titles are there O Saviour to that region of blessedness It is thy Fathers gift it is thy purchase it is thy Saints inheritance theirs only in thy right by thy gracious adoption they are sons and as sons heires co-heirs with thee of that blessed Patrimony so feoffed upon them so possessed of them that they can never be disseized And Lord how glorious an inheritance it is An inheritance in light In light incomprehensible in light inaccessible Lo the most spirituall of all thy visible creatures is light and yet this light is but the effect and emanation of one of thy creatures the Sun and serves only for the illumination of this visible world but that supernal light is from the Al-glorious beams of thy Divine Majesty diffusing themselves to those blessed spirits both Angels and Souls of thy Saints who live in the joyful fruition of thee to all eternity Alas Lord we do here dwell in darkness and under an uncomfortable opacity whiles thy face is clouded from us with manifold temptations there above with thee is pure light a constant noon-tide of glory I am here under a miserable and obscure wardship Oh teach me to despise the best of earth and ravish my soul with a longing desire of being possessed of that blessed inheritance of the Saints in light XXX What outward blessing can be sweeter then civill peace What judgment more heavy then that of the sword Yet O Saviour there is a peace which thou disclaimest and there is a sword which thou challengest to bring Peace with our corruptions is warr against thee and that war in our bosomes wherein the spirit fighteth against the flesh is peace with thee O let thy good Spirit raise and foment this holy and intestine war more and more within me And as for my outward spirituall enemies how can there be a victory without war and how can I hope for a crown without victory O do thou ever gird me with strength to the battle inable thou me to resist unto bloud make me faithfull to the death that thou maist give me the crown of life XXXI O Lord God how subject is this wretched heart of mine to repining and discontentment If it may not have what it would how ready it is like a froward child to throw away what it hath I know and feel this to be out of that naturall pride which is so deep rooted in me for could I be sensible enough of my own unworthinesse I should think every thing too good every thing too much for me my very being O Lord is more then I am ever able to answer thee and how could I deserve it when I was not but that I have any helps of my wel-beeing here or hopes and means of my being glorious hereafter how far is it beyond the reach of my soul Lord let me finde my own nothingness so shall I be thankfull for a little and in my very want blesse thee XXXII Where art thou O my God whither hast thou withdrawn thy self it is not long since I found thy comfortable presence with my soul now I misse thee and mourn and languish for thee Nay rather where art thou O my soul my God is where he was neither can be any other then himself the change is in thee whose inconstant disposition varies continually and cannot finde it self fixed upon so blessed an object It will never be better with me O my God until it shall please thee to stablish my heart with thy free Spirit and to keep it close to thee that it may not be carried away with vain distractions with sinful temptations Lord my God as thou art alwaies present with me and canst no more be absent then not be thy self so let me be alwaies with thee in an humble and faithful acknowledgment of thy presence as I can never be out of thine all-seeing eye so let mine eyes be ever bent upon thee who art invisible Thou that hast given me eyes improve them to thy glorie and my happiness XXXIII My bosome O Lord is a Rebeccaes womb there are twins striving within it a Jacob and Esau the old man and the new whiles I was in the barren state of my unregeneration all was quiet within me now this strife is both troublesome and paineful so as nature is ready to say If it be so why am I thus But withal O my God I bless thee for this happy unquietness for I know there is just cause of comfort in these inward struglings my soul is now not unfruitful and is conceived with an holy seed which wrestles with my natural corruptions and if my Esau have got the start in the priority of time yet my Jacob shall follow him hard at the heele and happily supplant him And though I must nourish them both as mine yet I can through thy grace imitate thy choice and say with thee Jacob have I loved and Esau have I hated Blessed God make thou that word of thine good in me That the elder shall serve the younger XXXIV Alas my Lord God how small matters trouble me every petty occurrence is ready to rob me of my peace so as me thinks I am like some little cock-boat in a rough Sea which every billow topples up and down and threats to sink I can chide this weak pusillanimity in my self but it is thou that must redress it Lord work my heart to so firme a setledness upon thee that it may never be shaken no not with the violent gusts of temptation much lesse with the easie gales of secular mis-accidents Even when I am hardest pressed in the multitude of the sorrows of my heart let thy comforts refresh my soul but for these sleight crosses oh teach me to despise them as not worthy of my notice much less of my vexation Let my heart be taken up with thee and then what care I whether the world smile or frown XXXV What a comfort it is O Saviour that thou art the first fruits of them that sleep Those that die in thee do but sleep Thou saidst so once of thy Lazarus and maist say so of him again he doth but sleep still His first sleep was but short this latter though longer is no less true out of which he shall no less surely awake at thy second call then he did before at thy first His first sleep and waking was singular this latter is the same with ours