of_o penitent_a tear_n fit_a for_o transgressor_n and_o sorrow_n due_a to_o sinner_n o_o my_o saviour_n no_o how_o then_o can_v thou_o deny_v i_o when_o i_o sue_v for_o no_o more_o but_o what_o thyself_o have_v assure_v i_o o_o my_o christ_n be_v these_o the_o eye_n that_o have_v displease_v thou_o let_v they_o receive_v no_o light_n through_o thou_o be_v this_o the_o heart_n which_o have_v dishonour_v thou_o let_v it_o bleed_v to_o death_n for_o thou_o be_v this_o the_o flesh_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o let_v fire_n be_v her_o fuel_n by_o thou_o be_v these_o the_o bone_n which_o have_v bring_v i_o woe_n let_v they_o be_v burn_v and_o bear_v no_o more_o or_o be_v these_o the_o sense_n which_o have_v sin_v against_o thou_o let_v they_o be_v a_o live_a sacrifice_n to_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o rack_v with_o grief_n that_o i_o can_v grieve_v and_o perplex_v in_o repentance_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o repent_v for_o to_o proceed_v after_o the_o world_n weakness_n i_o suspect_v thou_o see_v their_o wilful_a ignorance_n and_o if_o i_o follow_v thy_o gospel_n professor_n i_o fear_v thou_o find_v they_o full_a of_o scandal_n distraction_n and_o worldly_a perturbation_n what_o then_o sweet_a saviour_n will_v become_v of_o i_o forlorn_a creature_n that_o have_v no_o relief_n but_o sin_n to_o succour_v i_o satan_n to_o assist_v i_o and_o a_o guilty_a conscience_n to_o comfort_v i_o without_o thy_o sacred_a suffering_n make_v intercession_n for_o i_o and_o accept_v thy_o saint_n oblation_n for_o sinner_n to_o thou_o i_o shall_v be_v force_v to_o curse_v my_o conception_n and_o wish_v my_o mother_n womb_n have_v be_v my_o tomb_n to_o have_v form_v i_o a_o lump_n of_o flesh_n without_o life_n or_o any_o creature_n but_o thy_o image_n for_o than_o have_v i_o live_v according_a to_o creation_n and_o not_o liable_a to_o eternal_a damnation_n yet_o most_o merciful_a and_o immortal_a father_n shall_v my_o agonied_a soul_n suspect_v to_o suffer_v shipwreck_n when_o thou_o guide_v the_o stern_a or_o despair_n and_o die_v when_o thou_o be_v live_v or_o curse_v her_o birth_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o be_v o_o my_o god_n rather_o let_v she_o taste_v the_o torture_n of_o hell_n then_o be_v deprive_v of_o life_n and_o lose_v her_o hope_n in_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n let_v then_o satan_n assay_v his_o best_a and_o the_o wicked_a world_n her_o worst_a my_o deject_a soul_n have_v set_v up_o her_o rest_n in_o thou_o that_o make_v she_o to_o save_v she_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o to_o say_v amen_o the_o supplication_n of_o a_o prodigal_n my_o god_n my_o refuge_n my_o mercy_n how_o dare_v i_o remember_v thy_o greatness_n when_o the_o billow_n of_o my_o cry_a sin_n have_v raise_v the_o wrath_n of_o thy_o omnipotent_a person_n who_o out_o of_o mere_a divine_a love_n to_o pious_a charity_n creat_v i_o after_o thy_o own_o image_n redeem_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o in_o a_o word_n give_v i_o all_o i_o ever_o have_v yet_o have_v i_o so_o much_o dishonour_v the_o deity_n of_o thy_o glory_n that_o i_o make_v the_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n my_o god_n on_o earth_n and_o now_o they_o be_v turn_v my_o torment_a accuser_n of_o death_n o_o sacred_a father_n bequeath_v the_o plague_n of_o egypt_n for_o my_o talon_n rather_o than_o this_o deceitful_a world_n to_o my_o portion_n which_o have_v not_o only_o breed_v i_o disobedient_a towards_o thou_o that_o make_v i_o a_o traitor_n to_o thy_o son_n that_o die_v for_o i_o but_o sacrific'de_v my_o own_o soul_n to_o be_v the_o fuel_n of_o hell_n fire_n o_o deadly_a life_n of_o immortal_a death_n what_o shall_v i_o term_v thou_o the_o shape_n of_o a_o christian_a which_o without_o thy_o sacred_a intercession_n for_o thy_o never_o die_a mercy_n i_o shall_v remain_v quicken_v with_o the_o fiend_n of_o hell_n to_o future_a age_n for_o ever_o o_o do_v not_o thou_o sweet_a saviour_n forget_v the_o pity_n of_o thy_o goodness_n though_o i_o have_v lose_v the_o duty_n of_o my_o obedience_n but_o grant_v the_o same_o favour_n to_o i_o thou_o give_v the_o thief_n upon_o the_o cross_n look_v upon_o the_o tear_n of_o my_o misery_n with_o the_o passion_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o if_o neither_o grief_n groan_n sigh_n nor_o sorrow_n can_v appease_v thy_o just_a wrath_n why_o do_v thou_o make_v i_o wherefore_o be_v thy_o death_n who_o will_v thou_o save_v or_o be_v thou_o another_o god_n now_o then_o when_o thou_o be_v merciful_a to_o the_o oppress_a a_o father_n of_o the_o godly_a and_o a_o advocate_n for_o the_o damn_a if_o they_o repent_v o_o then_o enrich_v my_o soul_n with_o a_o divine_a sorrow_n for_o my_o joy_n the_o agony_n of_o death_n for_o my_o comfort_n that_o i_o may_v neither_o presume_v of_o thy_o favour_n nor_o despair_n of_o thy_o mercy_n but_o have_v thy_o great_a name_n glorify_v thy_o sacred_a death_n satisfy_v and_o thy_o poor_a forlorn_a sinner_n save_v lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o say_z amen_o ¶_o the_o prodigalle_n prayer_n o_o dear_a and_o omnipotent_a god_n i_o here_o stand_v guilty_a of_o all_o the_o barbarous_a and_o inhuman_a sin_n which_o satan_n can_v object_v against_o the_o cursedst_v creature_n live_v for_o i_o have_v presumptuous_o commit_v more_o riot_n and_o offence_n than_o either_o heathen_a pagan_a turk_n or_o infidel_n beside_o treacherouslie_o make_v thy_o name_n a_o cloak_n for_o my_o own_o villainy_n thus_o dear_a saviour_n have_v i_o live_v a_o smooth_a factor_n for_o satan_n to_o the_o utter_a subversion_n and_o deprivation_n of_o eternal_a felicity_n and_o purchase_v the_o reward_n of_o condemnation_n with_o endless_a misery_n break_v o_o my_o big_a swell_a heart_n lest_o a_o thunderbolt_n from_o heaven_n prevent_v thou_o gush_v forth_o into_o a_o flood_n of_o tear_n thou_o crocodile_n by_o nature_n in_o be_v such_o a_o curse_a reprobate_a to_o forget_v thy_o maker_n a_o devil_n incarnate_a for_o crucify_a thy_o redeemer_n ah_o savage_a beast_n can_v neither_o creation_n redemption_n nor_o daily_a blessing_n mollify_v my_o flinty_a heart_n to_o honour_v thou_o as_o a_o father_n fear_v thou_o as_o a_o god_n or_o love_v thou_o as_o a_o saviour_n but_o must_v so_o judas-like_o sacrifice_v thy_o image_n to_o the_o enemy_n thy_o courtesy_n to_o cruelty_n and_o thy_o redemption_n to_o my_o dreadful_a destruction_n o_o indignation_n of_o the_o almighty_a fall_v not_o upon_o i_o though_o i_o have_v sow_v the_o ungrateful_a seed_n of_o plutarch_n air_n for_o scorpion_n to_o bite_v my_o flesh_n and_o snake_n to_o suck_v my_o blood_n yet_o most_o merciful_a father_n shall_v my_o miserable_a soul_n despair_n when_o thy_o omnipotent_a person_n die_v for_o deject_a sinner_n or_o can_v i_o presume_v to_o hope_v see_v thou_o have_v punish_v thy_o dear_a servant_n for_o less_o offence_n never_o o_o lord_n in_o my_o wretched_a self_n but_o by_o the_o unspeakable_a death_n and_o passion_n which_o be_v able_a to_o relieve_v the_o sick_a heal_v the_o lame_a restore_v the_o blind_a and_o help_v the_o distress_a to_o thou_o i_o submissive_a come_v who_o sacred_a wisdom_n know_v that_o man_n be_v rottenness_n his_o desire_n vanity_n and_o life_n misery_n will_v thou_o therefore_o show_v thy_o strength_n against_o so_o poor_a a_o worm_n as_o man_n that_o have_v neither_o creation_n preservation_n nor_o habitation_n but_o by_o thy_o divine_a providence_n o_o then_o dear_a father_n remit_v the_o execution_n of_o thy_o justice_n enlarge_v the_o liberality_n of_o thy_o mercy_n and_o extend_v thy_o holy_a spirit_n on_o i_o thy_o lose_a sâ—ruant_n that_o i_o may_v neither_o curse_v my_o birth_n nor_o be_v thou_o repent_v of_o thy_o creation_n or_o redeem_n to_o the_o end_n i_o may_v live_v in_o thy_o fear_n die_v in_o thy_o favour_n rest_n in_o thy_o peace_n rise_v in_o thy_o power_n and_o remain_v in_o thy_o glory_n lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o say_v amen_o to_o the_o right_n honourable_a william_n earl_n of_o derby_n my_o honour_a lord_n i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o far_o this_o my_o solitary_a life_n may_v trench_v into_o the_o displeasure_n of_o your_o lordship_n grave_a censure_n therefore_o i_o think_v best_a to_o recommend_v those_o general_a reason_n which_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o my_o revolt_n from_o the_o world_n assure_v your_o lordship_n it_o be_v not_o the_o foolish_a fantasy_n of_o my_o wander_a thought_n 18.13_o gal._n 6._o pro._n 18.13_o but_o a_o serious_a consideration_n of_o my_o former_a transgression_n with_o a_o inward_a meditation_n of_o the_o small_a time_n that_o god_n will_v stay_v for_o man_n conversion_n or_o eversion_n make_v i_o bequeath_v the_o remainder_n of_o my_o day_n to_o this_o private_a cell_n by_o your_o lordship_n assist_v permission_n yet_o peradventure_o some_o will_v allege_v to_o your_o honour_n that_o this_o course_n of_o retiredness_n be_v neither_o command_v nor_o
the_o first_o part_n of_o youth_n error_n write_a by_o thomas_n bushel_n the_o superlative_a prodigal_n luke_n 15.18_o i_o will_v arise_v and_o go_v to_o my_o father_n and_o say_v unto_o he_o father_n i_o have_v sin_v against_o heaven_n and_o before_o thou_o and_o be_o no_o more_o worthy_a to_o be_v call_v thy_o son_n etc._n etc._n imprint_v at_o london_n 1628._o to_o the_o honourable_a and_o right_a virtuous_a thomas_n lord_n windsor_n my_o very_a good_a lord_n excellent_a peer_n little_o do_v i_o imagine_v or_o your_o lordship_n expect_v to_o see_v my_o name_n come_v under_o the_o press_n which_o as_o yet_o be_v to_o i_o a_o wonder_n so_o likewise_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v to_o your_o honour_n a_o miracle_n that_o know_v both_o my_o life_n and_o breed_n to_o have_v neither_o language_n latin_a tongue_n nor_o upon_o my_o salvation_n the_o help_n of_o any_o coadjutor_n but_o as_o it_o be_v write_v those_o thing_n which_o appear_v unpossible_a to_o man_n apprehension_n 10.27_o mar_n 10.27_o be_v nothing_o to_o god_n unsearchable_a wisdom_n otherwise_o your_o lordship_n may_v suspect_v the_o author_n for_o i_o mistrust_v myself_o until_o i_o have_v read_v the_o say_n that_o god_n be_v able_a to_o make_v the_o dumb_a to_o speak_v 7.22_o luk._n 7.22_o the_o blind_a to_o see_v and_o the_o lame_a to_o go_v wherein_o he_o have_v show_v the_o splendour_n of_o his_o divine_a providence_n on_o i_o base_a and_o unworthy_a creature_n to_o see_v more_o clear_o through_o my_o matchless_a offence_n for_o that_o now_o i_o constant_o believe_v there_o be_v no_o forgiveness_n without_o true_a repentance_n nor_o no_o true_a repentance_n without_o confession_n contrition_n satisfaction_n and_o amendment_n which_o make_v i_o presume_v to_o patronize_v the_o first_o fruit_n of_o my_o retiredness_n under_o your_o lordship_n name_n as_o a_o legasie_fw-mi of_o my_o loyal_a duty_n to_o your_o honour_n prevention_n of_o other_o and_o in_o my_o obedience_n to_o that_o good_a god_n 5.16_o 〈◊〉_d 5.16_o who_o require_v a_o open_a confession_n for_o a_o public_a transgression_n wherein_o if_o i_o shall_v verify_v our_o saviour_n word_n to_o give_v caesar_n his_o due_a 22.21_o â—at_a 22.21_o i_o must_v acknowledge_v under_o god_n your_o noble_a relation_n of_o a_o monastic_a life_n be_v the_o great_a inducement_n i_o receive_v from_o mortalist_n towards_o my_o regeneration_n so_o that_o if_o i_o have_v mount_v too_o high_a in_o shelter_v my_o weak_a labour_n under_o your_o lordship_n virtue_n let_v i_o beg_v a_o favourable_a censure_n and_o attribute_n rather_o forgetfulness_n to_o â—ngratitude_n than_o my_o forwardness_n to_o presumption_n for_o believe_v i_o honour_a lord_n have_v i_o not_o fortunate_o â—ist_v your_o fair_a hand_n before_o departure_n my_o zealous_a fidelity_n be_v so_o mix_v with_o the_o â—regs_n of_o mortality_n that_o certain_o upon_o my_o companion_n revolt_v 26.11_o pro._n 26.11_o i_o have_v fall_v like_o a_o doâ—_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o ruinate_v my_o own_o soul_n but_o thanks_o bâ—_n to_o the_o divine_a providence_n by_o a_o short_a cut_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o contentment_n end_v my_o travel_n discard_v my_o pleasure_n and_o circle_v the_o earth_n foâ—_n christ_n know_v my_o ambition_n be_v never_o high_o than_o 〈◊〉_d poor_a remote_a cave_n or_o desert_n cell_n where_o if_o these_o illitterate-deiected_n line_n shall_v reflect_v a_o like_v in_o you_o lordship_n judicious_a read_n i_o be_o confident_a by_o god_n assistance_n future_a endeavour_n may_v edify_v oâ—â—ers_n especial_o when_o my_o peregrination_n shall_v understand_v of_o your_o religious_a approbation_n who_o honourable_a opinion_n i_o esteem_v more_o â—en_o mortal_a creature_n not_o for_o â—â—at_v your_o noble_a apprehension_n exceed_v all_o man_n but_o by_o â—eason_n your_o internal_a fidelity_n â—quals_v the_o best_a of_o man_n which_o accord_v to_o my_o simple_a â—udgement_n carry_v a_o great_a benediction_n and_o clear_a revelation_n of_o god_n favouâ—_n then_o all_o other_o virtue_n how_o soever_o if_o the_o tributary_n praieâ—_n of_o a_o sinful_a beadsman_n caâ—â—_n increase_v your_o lordship_n immortal_a glory_n i_o be_o confident_a god_n multiply_v you_o honour_n daily_o your_o oblige_a and_o devote_a servant_n tho._n bushel_n to_o my_o christian_a brethren_n gentle_a reader_n somewhat_o i_o will_v glad_o say_v in_o way_n of_o admonition_n as_o altogether_o example_n for_o that_o the_o holy_a apostle_n assure_v i_o i_o be_v not_o bear_v 〈◊〉_d myself_o but_o for_o other_o though_o â—u_n may_v perceive_v i_o have_v confine_v my_o â—rson_n from_o society_n of_o man_n yet_o belue_v that_o i_o bar_v not_o the_o visitation_n of_o 〈◊〉_d man_n but_o willing_a to_o edify_v all_o man_n far_o as_o god_n shall_v enable_v my_o week_n ability_n and_o their_o patience_n humâ—_n entreat_v that_o the_o spectacle_n of_o yâ—â—_n sinful_a brother_n misery_n may_v mortâ—_n your_o fleshly_a desire_n and_o take_v so_o mâ—â—_n compassion_n of_o yourselves_o as_o to_o pâ—uent_v future_a peril_n i_o have_v my_o rewaâ—_n you_o your_o glory_n otherwise_o the_o dâ—ger's_n desperate_a as_o i_o be_v damnaâ—_n without_o god_n unspeakable_a merâ—_n which_o my_o fair_a hope_n can_v as_o 〈◊〉_d believe_v he_o will_v so_o much_o remember_v 〈◊〉_d to_o forget_v his_o justice_n o_o than_o geâ—_n sir_n if_o your_o own_o conscience_n accâ—â—_n you_o resolve_v to_o follow_v the_o one_o and_o 〈◊〉_d the_o other_o for_o assure_v yourselves_o 〈◊〉_d precedent_n of_o my_o fatal_a affliction_n 〈◊〉_d be_v a_o occasion_n to_o condemn_v you_o at_o 〈◊〉_d day_n of_o judgement_n if_o you_o obstinate_a neglect_n the_o same_o but_o why_o shouâ—â—_n expect_v you_o will_v either_o read_v or_o mâ—â—_n â—â—e_v of_o they_o know_v the_o writing_n of_o â—â—r_a saviour_n the_o labour_n of_o apostle_n use_v whole_a life_n of_o ancient_a father_n â—â—e_v cast_v aside_o as_o superfluous_a garment_n â—hen_o a_o play_n book_n be_v admit_v to_o â—sse_v away_o the_o time_n which_o with_o inâ—ard_a grief_n i_o confess_v be_v my_o libraâ—es_n and_o i_o fear_v continue_v too_o much_o â—â—ur_n study_v yet_o for_o that_o my_o invisible_a â—rments_n live_v upon_o earth_n as_o dives_fw-la 〈◊〉_d hell_n and_o can_v at_o any_o time_n resolve_v â—ose_v which_o doubt_v in_o the_o same_o may_v 〈◊〉_d a_o occasion_n to_o extenuate_v your_o licenâ—ous_a appetite_n that_o god_n name_n may_v 〈◊〉_d glorify_v your_o soul_n save_v and_o i_o â—nsatisfied_v tho._n bushel_n the_o content_n of_o this_o book_n be_v the_o first_o part_n the_o prodigal_a sinner_n confession_n the_o prodigal_n petition_v the_o prodigal_n affliction_n the_o prodigal_n contemplation_n the_o prodigal_n prayer_n the_o occasion_n of_o the_o prodigal_n revolt_v from_o 〈◊〉_d world_n the_o difference_n of_o a_o public_a and_o private_a liviâ—â—_n together_o with_o his_o resolution_n the_o conference_n he_o have_v with_o a_o grave_n diuâ—_n before_o his_o departure_n to_o a_o monastic_a life_n his_o woeful_a experience_n of_o insinuate_a flatterer_n the_o confession_n of_o his_o disobedience_n with_o a_o trâ—_n relation_n of_o his_o lord_n and_o master_n the_o prodigal_n advertisement_n concern_v the_o hopeful_a branch_n of_o vniâ—sities_n the_o right_n and_o profit_n belong_v the_o church_n the_o content_n of_o marriage_n the_o cry_a sin_n of_o murder_n the_o cry_a sin_n of_o pride_n the_o cry_a sin_n of_o adultery_n to_o his_o love_a brother_n edward_n bushel_n esquire_n â—lomon_a say_v he_o that_o cover_v his_o sin_n shall_v not_o prosper_v but_o whoso_o confess_v and_o forsake_v they_o shall_v have_v mercy_n prou._n 28.13_o it_o be_v not_o unknown_a to_o yourself_o nor_o the_o world_n that_o i_o continue_v a_o prenticeship_n the_o superlative_a prodigal_n either_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o diwlge_v â—hen_o god_n himself_o command_v upon_o â—enalty_n of_o eternal_a damnation_n 5.16_o jam._n 5.16_o yet_o it_o grive_v my_o very_a soul_n that_o ever_o i_o gaâ—â—_n occasion_n to_o be_v record_v but_o i_o hoâ—â—_n this_o my_o irrecoverable_a folly_n will_v pâ—uent_v future_a age_n for_o fall_v into_o fearful_a a_o danger_n otherwise_o as_o thâ—_n birth_n be_v miserable_a so_o their_o deaâ—_n will_v be_v lamentable_a which_o to_o i_o wâ—â—_n rather_o aggravate_v my_o sorrow_n than_o 〈◊〉_d tenuate_v my_o torment_n though_o in_o teâ—porall_a affair_n many_o bearer_n lessâ—_n the_o weight_n and_o ease_v the_o surcharge_n sufferer_n but_o in_o spiritual_a none_o refâ—sheth_v the_o oppress_a especial_o yoâ—â—_n dissolute_a brother_n who_o have_v in_o a_o mâ—ner_n search_v the_o record_n of_o heaveâ—_n for_o a_o precedent_n to_o make_v his_o title_n 〈◊〉_d hell_n unquestionable_a 20._o exod_n 20._o as_o you_o may_v tâ—_n more_o perspicuous_o perceive_v by_o the_o dreadful_a follow_a line_n o_o 〈◊〉_d dear_a microcosm_n in_o nature_n wiâ—â—_n what_o unwillingnes_n do_v i_o lay_v open_a my_o disobedience_n against_o the_o first_o commandment_n know_v my_o own_o conscience_n plead_v guilty_a in_o the_o high_a manner_n for_o debase_v his_o name_n essence_n and_o glory_n below_o the_o degree_n of_o
a_o temporal_a lord_n a_o mechanic_a magistrate_n or_o peasant_n justice_n in_o honour_v they_o more_o with_o cap_n and_o knee_n than_o his_o omnipotent_a person_n that_o create_v i_o but_o when_o i_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o the_o second_o there_o find_v i_o a_o distraction_n of_o madness_n though_o i_o have_v not_o worship_v the_o melt_a calf_n of_o brass_n iron_n stone_n &_o the_o like_a yet_o have_v i_o do_v sacrifice_n to_o the_o image_n of_o live_a clay_n with_o that_o adoration_n as_o i_o make_v the_o female_a sex_n my_o goddess_n on_o earth_n and_o leave_v the_o refuse_n of_o my_o time_n for_o the_o service_n of_o he_o that_o make_v i_o howsoever_o touch_v the_o three_o i_o so_o much_o profane_v the_o deity_n of_o his_o name_n that_o i_o make_v it_o my_o familiar_a discourse_n for_o which_o in_o justice_n i_o be_o culpable_a of_o death_n but_o as_o for_o the_o four_o i_o continual_o mix_v my_o weak_a dovotion_n with_o so_o many_o erroneous_a pleasure_n that_o to_o my_o knowledge_n i_o keep_v not_o one_o whole_a sabbath_n for_o his_o gory_a whereby_o i_o be_o debar_v of_o claim_v either_o love_n favour_n or_o mercy_n but_o the_o course_n of_o perdition_n which_o for_o sure_a violate_v the_o first_o i_o be_v so_o spare_v in_o show_v either_o reverence_n or_o duty_n to_o my_o parent_n that_o i_o seldom_o pay_v any_o tribute_n as_o i_o ought_v whereby_o i_o have_v deserve_v not_o only_o the_o shortness_n of_o day_n but_o the_o loss_n of_o their_o fatherly_a blessing_n as_o for_o the_o first_o thanks_o be_v to_o god_n i_o have_v not_o actual_o shed_v the_o blood_n of_o any_o man_n â—nd_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o more_o for_o â—eare_z of_o punishment_n by_o the_o decree_n of_o â—nan_n than_o the_o law_n of_o god_n i_o neither_o â—an_v say_v nor_o justify_v myself_o but_o to_o â—ny_v remembrance_n be_o free_a from_o that_o â—rying_a sin_n howsoever_o for_o the_o seaâ—enth_fw-mi if_o i_o shall_v deny_v the_o acknowedgment_n of_o that_o deadly_a sin_n the_o â—ynt_a actor_n in_o my_o lustful_a recreation_n will_v cry_v out_o vengeance_n on_o my_o condemnation_n for_o we_o ever_o hold_v it_o as_o a_o â—port_n of_o pleasure_n bring_v into_o the_o world_n by_o nature_n and_o at_o the_o most_o value_v in_o the_o rank_n of_o venial_a sin_n â—ut_fw-la now_o it_o speak_v death_n unto_o i_o â—nd_v i_o fear_v no_o comfort_n unto_o they_o which_o for_o the_o eight_o you_o know_v in_o my_o childhood_n be_v guilty_a so_o that_o i_o can_v â—eit_v she_o acquit_v nor_o accuse_v myself_o of_o any_o mortal_a fact_n and_o as_o for_o thâ—_n nine_o i_o can_v plead_v ignorance_n but_o tâ—_n my_o knowledge_n be_v never_o bring_v to_o the_o test_n before_o a_o seat_n of_o impartial_a justice_n yet_o as_o i_o be_v it_o be_v ten_o to_o onâ—_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v prove_v more_o flesh_n than_o spirit_n more_o false_a than_o honest_a but_o certain_o for_o the_o ten_o i_o muâ—â—_n confess_v myself_o guilty_a to_o all_o either_o bâ—_n think_v or_o act_n with_o delectation_n 〈◊〉_d affection_n thus_o you_o see_v the_o maâ—row_n and_o sinew_n of_o the_o whole_a laâ—â—_n have_v i_o break_v which_o make_v mâ—â—_n liable_a to_o eternal_a torture_n death_n anâ—_n damnation_n god_n forgive_v they_o thaâ—_n be_v the_o occasion_n yet_o if_o the_o multitude_n of_o these_o cry_a sin_n be_v â—â—period_n of_o my_o transgression_n i_o may_v have_v hope_n by_o the_o death_n and_o passion_n of_o my_o saviour_n but_o when_o i_o pondâ—_n â—â—on_n the_o barbarous_a and_o inhuman_a arriage_n use_v towards_o his_o mercy_n it_o â—â—tinguisheth_v the_o light_n of_o comfort_n â—â—our_n or_o pardon_v for_o god_n know_v â—â—am_n more_o worthy_a of_o death_n by_o his_o â—ath_n then_o for_o violate_v he_o whole_a â—â—w_n of_o moses_n in_o that_o i_o have_v commit_v â—ortall_a sin_n against_o he_o that_o die_v â—r_o my_o sin_n 12.25_o heb._n 12.25_o by_o make_v the_o â—oanes_n and_o sorrow_n in_o his_o passion_n â—e_v robe_n of_o shelter_n to_o my_o base_a wicked_a use_v detestable_a pleasure_n for_o that_o i_o â—â—ared_v not_o prosecute_n the_o life_n of_o my_o â—â—rsed_a offence_n upon_o presumption_n of_o â—s_a mercy_n not_o sear_v his_o justice_n â—or_a pity_v his_o suffering_n whereby_o have_v exceed_v the_o fact_n of_o judas_n or_o â—â—e_v senate_n of_o jew_n for_o the_o one_o beâ—ayed_v he_o but_o once_o i_o a_o thousand_o â—â—es_n the_o other_o crucify_v he_o out_o of_o ignorance_n i_o a_o million_o out_o of_o wilfulnesseâ—_n what_o assurement_n dear_a brother_n caâ—_n be_v expect_v by_o i_o that_o be_o worse_a thâ—_n those_o who_o i_o have_v name_v but_o thâ—_n dreadful_a ruin_n of_o permanent_a perdition_n 5._o â—zek_v 18._o eccle_n 5._o yet_o you_o will_v say_v god_n be_v merciful_a upon_o repentance_n at_o the_o last_o gaspâ—â—_n which_o can_v be_v deny_v so_o likewise_o my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o he_o be_v iuâ—â—_n which_o will_v not_o be_v contradict_v 5.17.18_o mat._n 5.17.18_o foâ—_n certain_o without_o my_o repentance_n â—â—quall_v my_o transgression_n the_o church_n may_v absolve_v i_o 18._o â—eve_v 18._o but_o not_o assure_v mâ—_n and_o i_o shall_v vain_o expect_v remission_n by_o any_o ghostly_a father_n absolution_n 〈◊〉_d i_o continue_v in_o any_o one_o sin_n whiâ—â—_n lie_v in_o my_o power_n to_o prevent_v 6_o joh._n 3._o â—_o 6_o 〈◊〉_d the_o great_a comfort_n of_o continuant_n in_o all_o my_o calamity_n be_v the_o sweâ—â—_n say_v of_o our_o saviour_n that_o himself_o use_v his_o angel_n joy_v more_o at_o the_o conversion_n of_o one_o sinner_n which_o â—â—ely_o repent_v then_o ninty_a nine_o righâ—ous_a o_o with_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a happiness_n be_v this_o cordial_a â—erse_n to_o my_o afflict_a soul_n wherein_o minister_v the_o application_n daily_o to_o â—â—fresh_v my_o sad_a heart_n and_o wearisome_a â—nses_n but_o at_o last_o it_o prove_v bitter_a as_o all_o in_o operation_n and_o digest_v for_o â—hen_o i_o search_v into_o the_o mystery_n of_o â—â—id_a sense_n there_o i_o find_v it_o be_v ninety_o â—ine_o to_o one_o that_o a_o wilful_a sinner_n neâ—er_o true_o repent_v otherwise_o you_o â—ould_v make_v god_n joy_v more_o in_o a_o sincell_a wicked_a man_n life_n then_o a_o religious_a godly_a liver_n which_o bring_v i_o into_o â—o_o fearful_a a_o danger_n of_o desperation_n â—hat_n have_v you_o or_o any_o other_o be_v â—n_n eyewitness_n in_o the_o agony_n of_o my_o perditious_a soul_n it_o will_v hauâ—_n make_v the_o flinty_a heart_n soon_o choose_v to_o wrestle_v with_o a_o lion_n then_o commit_v a_o mortal_a sin_n against_o the_o immortal_a god_n which_o create_v he_o yet_o after_o a_o long_a debatâ—â—_n betwixt_o hope_n and_o despair_n the_o precedent_n of_o saul_n otherwise_o call_v paul_n dâ—stilled_v into_o i_o the_o happiness_n of_o hope_n by_o reason_n his_o palpable_a crime_n reflect_v some_o equality_n to_o my_o offence_n 〈◊〉_d but_o at_o last_o his_o pattern_n leave_v i_o in_o 〈◊〉_d dark_a eclipse_n for_o that_o they_o be_v error_n execute_v out_o of_o ignorance_n â—_o tim._n 1._o â—_o noâ—_n wilful_o and_o therefore_o obtain_v remission_n upon_o his_o contrition_n i_o theâ—_n minister_v to_o my_o deject_a soul_n thâ—_n mercy_n confer_v on_o mary_n magdalene_n â—_o â—uke_n 7._o â—_o yet_o notwithstanding_o small_a waâ—_n my_o relief_n for_o that_o her_o conflict_n oâ—_n repentance_n do_v in_o a_o manner_n exceed_v other_o and_o her_o transgression_n but_o â—â—e_v of_o the_o seven_o deadly_a sin_n â—hereupon_o i_o apply_v the_o thief_n on_o â—â—e_z cross_n as_o my_o last_o refuge_n but_o â—ere_z i_o see_v apparent_a less_o shelter_n for_o 〈◊〉_d the_o raise_n of_o lazarus_n from_o the_o â—ave_n be_v only_o a_o miracle_n to_o show_v â—â—at_a he_o be_v christ_n the_o messiah_n 11._o luk._n 23._o joh._n 11._o even_o 〈◊〉_d my_o conscience_n tell_v i_o that_o the_o â—n_n parallel_v mercy_n upon_o the_o thief_n 26.38_o mat._n 26.38_o 〈◊〉_d as_o preordain_a only_o for_o that_o hour_n 〈◊〉_d be_v as_o a_o witness_n of_o his_o wrongful_a ignominious_a suffering_n and_o not_o any_o assurement_n of_o safety_n for_o we_o to_o build_v â—â—n_fw-la thus_o be_v deprive_v as_o you_o â—ay_v perceive_v from_o all_o hope_n in_o the_o â—â—ue_n of_o god_n by_o my_o disobedience_n â—rom_o all_o mercy_n by_o my_o matchless_a presumption_n and_o from_o all_o comfort_n in_o malefactor_n by_o my_o superlatiâ—_n transgression_n together_o with_o inwaâ—â—_n grief_n of_o the_o joy_n i_o have_v lose_v aâ—â—_n the_o woeful_a exchange_n of_o heaven_n fâ—_n hell_n bring_v i_o into_o that_o desperate_a ecstasy_n as_o i_o fall_v sudden_o on_o thâ—_n ground_n in_o a_o trance_n where_o dive_v judgement_n of_o god_n reiterated_a to_o 〈◊〉_d memory_n that_o be_v execute_v already_o upon_o his_o dear_a servant_n for_o less_o â—â—fences_n which_o close_v all_o the_o faculty_n of_o my_o body_n and_o soul_n into_o a_o oâ—â—_n scure_a darkness_n but_o thanks_n be_v 〈◊〉_d the_o divine_a providence_n that_o