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A36965 The comical history of Don Quixote as it is acted at the Queens Theatre in Dorset-Garden, by Their Majesties servants / written by Mr. D'Urfey.; Don Quixote D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723.; Cervantes Saavedra, Miguel de, 1547-1616. Don Quixote.; Purcell, Henry, 1659-1695. Don Quixote. 1694 (1694) Wing D2712; Wing D2713; Wing D2714; ESTC R22730 171,643 227

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Breach being enter'd and then they 'r all Kings Then happy 's she whose Face Can win a Soldier 's Grace They range about in State Like Gods disposing Fate No Luxury in Peace Nor Pleasure in Excess Can parallel the Ioys the Martial Hero Crown When flush'd with Rage and forc'd by Want he storms a wealthy Town Vincent Ladies the last great Honour now afford And arm the Cha●pion with the Spurs and Sword Hostess Let this bright Spur with prickly Rowels That wounds thy Courser near the Bowels Puting on the Spur●● Mind thee in thy Adventures thick How thou for Womens Rights should kick So Fortune thou bold Knightly Tony Send thee more Wi● and me more Money Maritor About thy Loyns I gird this doughty Blade To fight thy Battels and make Foes afraid Cudgel and Cudgell'd be be no Man's Debtor The more that stupid Pate is maul'd the better Thy Fate defends thee from the Pains of Killing Who has no Brains is past all S●nse of Feeling Vincent Then lastly with this Knightly Thwack Draws the Sword and strikes him And these about thy Sides and Back I Dub thee for an Arms Professor Champion for War and Wrongs Redres●or Once twice and thrice now rise with Grace The Knight of the Ill-favour'd Face Don Q●ixot ●ises Don Q. Sir Constable the Honour you have done me devotes me to your Service during Life shew me a Monster Giant or Inchanter tho' ne're so huge or terrible that has wrong'd ye and you shall see me make him do you Justice and lay his Recreant Head beneath your Fee● And you great Princesses and Illustrious Beauties that this great Hour have done Don Quix●te Honour low at your Feet your Knight offers his Homage My grateful Thanks likewise to you my Friends by whom this Sword and Arm shall always be commanded To Perez and Nicho. Per●z All Honour to the Son of Fame and brightest Planet of Knig●t Errantry Don Quixote de la Ma●cha Nich● May his Heroick Deeds make Amad●s du G●ul a Tri●ler Vincent Don Bellianis of Greece and Felixmarte of Thriani● be Mushrooms to the Pine of this tall Glory Don Q. Good my Lord your Excellence too much honours me and so does your fair Lady of whom I must presume to beg one Courtesie additional which is a Plaister for wi●h your Lordships too much Zeal in Dubbing me I humbly do conceive my Head is broke Vincen● Most happy Omen Perez Yes if it bled three Drops Don Q It has three hundred I feel 'em in my Collar Hostess Run Maritornes fetch the Vng●entum Album Don Q. Most Radiant Princess I shall trouble ye M●rit Why truly Sir since you have made me a great Lady I can't help being as proud as one and to send a Princess for a Plaister is in my Opinion a little undecent Nicho. Oh Madam your Highness shall not need I have one ready here in my Pocket P●ll● out his Bo● Enter Sancho Hastily Sancho Odsbodokins if ever you 'll see a fine Sight as long as you live come away quickly to the Inn Door Perez How now Sancho Where 's your Obeysance to this Noble Knight Sancho Mum Mum I understand ye Most Noble Emperor that is to be I kiss your Majesty's Foot Don Q. 'T is well my Squire but prithee what Sight is this thou h●st seen at the Castle Gate Sancho Why at the Castle Gate then since you will have it so there●● a dead Man walk'd by in more State and with greater Noise after him than a London Alderman whose Soul is gone to Hell for Usury then he has I say when his Son and Heir hires a whole Troop of Blue Coat-Boys to sing Psalms and try if they can bawl i● out again Vincent Oh! 't is the Funeral of Chrysostom that dy'd for Love My Lord Don Quixote 't is fit you should be there perhaps some Adventure may shew it self Don Q. Your Excellence Councels well there may indeed for now methinks I'm weary of soft Ease and long for some Exploits to rowse my Valor * The● put on his Helmet now Giants Monsters tremble for I come To purge the World of Vice by powerful Arms In spight of Hell and Necromantick Charms Exit Don Q. and Sancho Host●ss The Devil go with him Must we lose our Money for our Wine after all then for a Jest ds'life I 'll run after him and fetch him back Perez No no prithee good Hostess let him alone now I 'll see thee paid upon the Word of a Priest I 'll be his Pledge for once for out of Kindness to his Family I intend very suddenly by a Trick to core his Frenzy and bring him Home again Hostesse The Word of a Priest Thank'ee good Sir I desire no better Security for all the Wine in my Cellar Nicho. If there be any sport in 't you are sure of me Mr. Curate Perez Oh thou art to be my Chief Engine but more of that another time now let 's to the Funeral and if I can but find my Niece there Nicho. We 'll Fuddle mine Host to night in his own Castle as Don Quixote calls it Vincent Ah wou'd I cou'd see that my jolly Lads I 'de try your Forces i faith Maritor And did not I do my Speeches purely Mr. Curate Perez Ay little Maritornes that thou didst I assure thee Exeunt SCENE II. A Deep Grove Enter Dorothea alone Dress'd like a Shepherd in Mourning and Crown'd with a Cypress Garland Doroth. They come with Sighs and as halfe dead with Sorrow Attend the Body of the wretched Chrysostome Whilst I that seem to mourn anothers Fate Dissolve in real Tears to know my own Poor Dorothea Where are now the Comforts That us'd to make thy Days Divinely happy Where now are Blessings from Indulgent Parents That us'd to smile upon thy Morning Duty Kiss thy refreshing Cheeks lean on thy Bosom And in soft Rapture invoke Heav'n to guard thee All gone quite lost thou' rt now a Friendless Vagabond Undone by Love and by a Man betraid For who could else undo an innocent Maid Forc'd in these Groves among the stranger Swains To waste a woful Life Oh false Fernando But hush no more they come Goes to meet ' em Then Re-enter Dorothea with Ambrosio and other Shepherds and Shepherdesses Crown'd with Cypress then the Body of Chrysostom● follows on a Bier Crown'd with a Wreath and cover'd with Flowers they march in Solemn Procession round the Stage then the Bier being set down in the midst of it Ambrosio speaks Ambros. Thus to the Grave the last retreat of Mortals Has sad Ambrosio brought his dearest Friend Oh that he could revenge his hapless Death upon the cruel Tygress that has caus'd it with what a pleasure would I fly to execute or could my Breath blow Plagues among the Sex and only amongst them no Malething suffering what Rapture should I feel but alas I wish in vain no Pestilence can hurt 'em One poisonous Viper cannot hurt another A Woman is the Plague
present Diversion here comes mine Host the Antick Ceremony of the Knighthood will be performed immediately Enter Vincent Hostess and Maritorness Ah! the Devil take all mad Fools Was ever Man so plagu'd Come Wife Daughter and Gentlemen pray mind all your Instructions that I may humor this Frantick Ass wi●h a Sham Knighthood and so get him out of my House for I shall be undone if he stays a day longer in 't He rose up in a Dream just now and fancying he was fighting with Giants falls a Slashing two Baggs of Red Wine that stood up in a Corner and has spilt upon twenty Gallons on 't about the Floar D'sheart he has made me almost as mad as himself therefore Wise be sure you make haste and remember your Part of the Ceremony Hostess Ceremony Hang him Gad I 'll Charge him with a Co●stable if he does not pay me for my Wine Perez Ha ha Oh Neighbour you must consider he 's a mad Man Nicho. And such are not only excus'd from Civility but Law too Marit He calls me Princess Radiant and Incomp●rable and told me my Eyes glitter'd brighter than Venus or Mercury with a World more of such Gibberish tha● for my part I thought the Devil was in the Man Vincent Ay Gad I get clear of him presently O● yonder I see him He 's coming with his Armor to this Well which he takes to be a consecrated Fountain and therefore a Place ●●tto be Knighted in Come come all in let 's leave him to himself a little whilst I go and get all my merry Grigs ready for the Song and Dance we 'll Fool him methodically however Exeunt Enter Don Quixote Strip'd and Sancho following c●rrying his Armor and Laughing at him Don. Q. Set down the Shell of my Renown my Armor● that wondrous Ca●e that must defend this Body from vile Inchanters Monsters Giants Furies there set 'em down by that most Holy Fountain whilst like a Tortoise strip●d of her Defence I craule about and groveling kiss the Earth till Fate or●ains the Honour to retrieve ' em Go Sancho go thou aside my faithful Squire and Pray Squires have no other Office in this Ceremony Sancho lays down the Ar●●r Sancho Why the truth on 't is Sir you have nick'd me there to a Hair for my whole Office has been to Pray and Fast ever since I came into your Service I have told my Wife Teresa Wonders of ye that I am to be an Earl and a Governor and the Devil and all but the Horse next the Mill carries the Grist Mischiefs come by the Pound and go away by the Ounce God send me a good Deliverance I say I am a Fool ● find it Don Q. No if thou woul'st have thy self unravel'd thou art a Mixture of Knave and Fool the Weights are often equal but now I think the Fool weighs down the Ball●nce thou art now a silly desponding Varlet San●ho Well well where nothing is a little goes a great way and an old Dog will learn no Tricks What a Devil d' ye call this Well a Fountain for And who the Devil consecrated it unless it be two or three dozen of b●ld pate Frogs I heard croaking in 't D●n Q. Hark I hear 'em coming A Marshal Noise of Drums and Trumpets are heard within Away I say and do as I command thee and if thou hast a Prayer better than ordinary that treats of Knighthood and of brave Exploits perform it with a Stomach do it as thou usest to Eat voraciously Sancho Why there 's another very pretty Task to a thing that would baffle the whole Clergy as I 'm a true Squire to Pray as heartily as one can Ea● ds'bud there 's ne're a Priest in Christendom can do 't Don Q. I have a shrew'd Suspicion that this Belly of thine Sancho will hinder thy Preferment when ever the Squire of a Knight Errant gives himself to Eating Honours fall off insensibly Sancho Why then the Devil take all Honour● a hungry Horse makes an ill Journey and half a Loaf is better than no ●r●ad rather than starve for a Governorship I 'll be plain with you Sir Don Q. Away thou Prater I 'll hear no more away I say Exit Sancho Gru●bling Enter Drums and Trumpets Sounding Then Enter Vincent Crowned with Lawrel and a Scutcheon in hi● Hand Then Perez Nicholas Hostess Meritorness with Scu●cheons Then Singers and Dancers representing Knights of several Orders two and t●o carrying Br●●●●●s of Lawrel They march solemnly round Don Quixote who kneels whilst Vincent puts a Circle abo●t his Head and the● Sp●●ks Vincent Thou God that lov'st loud Drums that rattle Raw Heads and bloody Bones and Battle That try'st with Blows our Sense of Feeling Look down upon this Mortal Kneeling Grant him Honours with Redundance Thumps and Blows and Kicks abounda●ce And when his Bones all broken be Be this the Type of Victory Sti●ks ●he Sc●●cheon in his Circl● Don Q Bows Perez Proud Giants let him better quell Than when he from the Wi●d-Mill fell No more may Fish-Ponds drench his Carcass Nor waggish Ho●s make him a stark Ass. Sti●ks his Scu●●heon Nicho. Let no Soul-Broker have a Hand in The Shaving of his Understanding Fame let him get at Tilt and Barriers And never more be swing'd by Carriers Sticks his Scutch●on Don Q. Bows Hostess Claret no more for Blood be spilling Nor no more costly Wine-Baggs killing Least some hard-fisted Ostler flys on 't Or angry Hostess scratch his Eyes out Sticks her Scutc●eon Don Q. Bows Maritor May Dulcinea del Toboso That likes his Tawny Phiz but so so By being in her Rigor lasting Get him more Honour and more Basting Sticks her Lawrel and now altogether round his Head bear these Words The Knight of the Ill-favor'd Face Vincent So now remove him whilst these Sons of Fame these Knights that represent the Times past Glory perform the rest of this high Ceremony Here Hostess and Maritorness raise up Don Quixote and lead him to the farther Part of the Stage and Arm him Then a Dance is performed representing Knights Errant Killing a Dragon Which ended they bring Don Quixote to the Front of the Stage Vincent Now Sing the Song in Praise of Arms and Souldiery SONG SIng all ye Muses your Lutes strike around When a Souldier's the Story what Tongue can want Sound Who Danger disdains Wounds Bruises and Pains When the Honour of Fighting is all that he gains Rich profit comes easie in Cities of Store But the Gold is earn'd hard where the Cannons do roar Yet see how they run at the Storming a Town Through Blood and thr●ugh Fire to take the Half-Moon They Scale the high Wall Whence they see others fall Their Hearts precious Darling bright Glory pursuing Th● ' Death 's under foot and the Mine is just blowing I● springs up they fly yet more still supply As Bride grooms to Marry they ●asten to dye Till Fate claps her Wings and the glad Tidings brings Of the
shown in 't Carden She has indeed done it to a Miracle and manag'd not only the Action but the Romantick Stile so naturally that a wiser Head than Don Quixote's might have been deceived Doroth. Not unless he had some Sparks of his Phrensy But what pleases me most is Sancho who is every foot at a loss whether he shall be a Governour or nothing Fernand. Ha ha ha Come now let 's go dine and laugh an Hour away about it within Nicho. Ay ay a Jest sounds always most merrily at a good Dinner my Lord and to say the truth the Squire of the Beard has been inchanted so long that he begins to be hungry Fern. Oh thy Mirth shall begin presently then were thy Hunger as sharp as one of thy one Razors it should be blunted Come mine Hostess too and little Maritornes y' have all done admirably Oh how every little Subject pleases us when Love has tun'd ou● Souls by his sweet Harmony Now Embracing Dorothea my dear Friend I hope your Joys are perfect too To Cardenio Carden In my Lucinda's Love mine are as perfect as Heaven has Pow'r to make ' em Lucind. And mine in meeting with my dear Cardenio Doroth. And let each kind too late repenting Maid That fears she 's by inconstant Man betray'd Yet by peculiar Fate and Grace Divine At last retrieves her Lover guess at mine Exeunt omnes FINIS THE Comical History OF Don QUIXOTE As it is Acted at the Queen's Theatre in Dorset Garden By Their Majesties Servants Part the Second Written by Mr. D'urfey LONDON Printed for S. Briscoe in Russel-street Covent Garden and H. Newman at the Grashopper in the Poultry 1694. To the Right Honourable Charles Earl of Dorset and Middlesex Ld. Chamberlain of Their Majesties Houshold and Knight of the most noble Order of the Garter c. My Lord AS in old times when Wit had flourish'd long And Rome was famous for Poetick Song The Learned Bards did round Mecaenas throng To him as Wits Dictator brought their Store And Standard that best tri'd the Muses Ore So in our Albion tho her Bards are few Yet each one covets a Dictator too And for Mecaenas fix my Lord on you You like the famous Indian Gourd are set Under whose shade sits cool each pigmy Wit Free from the railing Criticks blasting heat Let the rich Spring flow clear or be impure Fenc'd with your Name the Poet is secure Your Wit 's a Sanctuary where each one Is safe that wisely does for refuge run The roving Icarus in Poetry By you is levell'd when he soars too-high By Judgments Rules and awful Sense reclaim'd The wild Hig●flyer is to Nature tam'd Nor does the grovelling Muse crawl off asham'd But by your mild reproof his faults discerne Made fit for Fame if not to proud to learn Each Genius still is by your candor priz'd The Great not flatter'd nor the Less dispis'd For as great Maro Naso Flaccus may In your indulgent beams with freedom play So Bavius too and Maevius uncontroul'd May busk about and grac'd with smiles be bold Oh bou●dless Glory yet for eas● too great A●xious tho prais'd and restless in its State Wit 's fate and that of Soveraignty's the same Both sit high crown'd both plagu'd by too much fame As Courtiers for Preferment teazing come And at the Levee throng a Monarchs Room So when Apollo Crowns a darling Son Thelesser Tribe will all be pushing on To get a Scien of his sacred Bays To plant their Credit in suc●eeding Days Thus your Renown your ●rouble does encrease Less great my Lord you had been more at ease Like Hero's that to War u●summo●'d come If less couragiou● had been safe at home A common Fate best suits with common Clay Stamp'd off in haste upon ●he first Ess●y But Poets are not products of a Day Kings Reign by Conquest Choice or Right of Bi●th Souldiers get Fame and Grandees share the Earth But Wi●'s a prize so rare there scarce appears One mighty Dorset in a Thousand Years And then too Heaven that knows the Gift is great Thinks one enough to honour a whole state Thus are the two g●eat Blessing● Wit and Love Kept ●s sublimest with most care above He●ven gr●nts us sparingly of both a taste One rarely found and t'other not too last Lest the weak Mortal in his extasie Like the first Man may know too much and dye Yet has this nice forbidden fruit which Heaven From Millions keeps to you been frankly given You have ●y Lord a Pa●ent from above And can monopolize both Wit and Love Inspir'd and blest by Heavens peculiar care Ador'd by all the Wife and all the Fair To whom the World united give this due Best Iudge of Men and best of Poets too Please to permit me then as all the rest Of Moses Sons already have address'd Thus for your Patronage to make appeal The last Attending but the first in Zeal Let but this Play the usual Grace receive And if your generous breath says Let it live Don Quixot then is fix'd in deathless Glory And Sancho on the Stage is famous as in story Which is My Lord The humble Suit of Your Lordships most obliged and eternally devoted Servant THE PREFACE THE good success which both the Parts of Don Quixote have had either from their Natural Merit or the Indulgence of my Friends or both ought sufficiently to satisfie me that I have no reason to value the little Malice of some weak Heads that make it their business to be simply Criticizing I will therefore desist from any Answer in that kind and wholly rely upon and please my self with the good Opinion and kind Censure of the Iudicious who unanimously declare that I have not lessened my self in the great undertaking of drawing two Plays out of that ingenious History in which if I had flagg'd either in Stile or Character it must have been very obvious to all Eyes but on the contrary I have had the honour to have it judg'd that I have done both Don Quixote and Sancho Iustice making as good a Copy of the first as possible and furnishing the last with newer and better Proveabs of my own than he before diverted ye with Besides I think I have given some additional Diversion in the continuance of the Character of Marcella which is wholly new in this Part and my own Invention the design finishing with more pleasure to the Audience by punishing that coy Creature by an extravagant Passion here that was so inexorable and cruel in the first Part and ending with a Song so incomparably well sung and acted by Mrs. Bracegirdle that the most envious do allow as well as the most ingenious affirm that 't is the best of that kind ever done before Then I must tell my severe Censurers who will be spitting their Venom against me tho to no purpose that I deserve some acknowledment for drawing the Character of Mary the Buxom which was intirely my own and which I was not
the prize Of the Wares most fit for sale What store of Beans Wou'd dawb their Cloaths To save a Nose By following those That carry the Milking Pail Carden Merlin is pleas'd at Sancho's condescension which he has drovd by this strange Entertainment Don Q. And Dulcinea smil'd most radiantly Luscind And at her going made a low bow to Sancho Duke Come Governour now let us home to Supper where we 'll confer about some publick matters relating to your Charge Dutch Take heed you are not cruel our Islanders will ne're endure a Tyrant Sancho Oh let me alone for that Madam I 'll be as mild as a Milch Cow I have nothing rough about me but my Beard Thus goes the World Sirs many must fall low ●hilst others rise up high Many get Governments the Lord knows how And so Gadzooks have I. Exeunt ACT III. SCENE I. Marcella walks over the Stage pensively Afterwards Enter Cardenio and Ambrosio Card. SO Cynthia rose amidst the Myrtle Grove Speaking as Marcella passes by Like the Queen Mother of the Stars above Oh dear Ambrosio good morrow to thee what you come from seeing Execution done upon Diego Ambr. I have seen him soundly whipt and turn'd our of his Employment this morning Card. Insolent Villain was there no one to attacque but the chief Beauty of our Groves the Glory of the Plains and Darling of the Shepherds the admir'd Marcella Leandro her Father it seems was there too who I hear has made a particular Suit to the Duke about his Daughter Ambr. Your Intelligence is good Sir Card. My Intelligence is good Why how now Friend art thou grown resty is that all to say my Intelligence is good nay then you shall find my Intelligence is better for I heard a Bird sing that the old Man weighing your late b●ave action done for her and knowing you to be the Dukes kinsman has made an offer of his Daughter for a Wife for you Ambr. So S●r. Card. So Sir I gad and I think very well too Sir what a Pox ails thee Why thou art as musty as if thou hadst been offer'd a Witch without a Portion or dost thou banter me with a fit of dissimulation Hah come come Sir welcome your happy Planet with smiles Plato Socrates and Aristotle are good Companions when a man has an Estate but horribly dull and phlegmatick fellows when the Assets are wanting Ambr. Very well Sir Card. Thou art the Duke's Relation and I know he loves thee and will do very well for thee but still a fortune of thy own making is more honourable and I know Leanardo dotes on his sine Daughter and will give her a world of Wealth nor is his Family to be despis'd for all he fancies a rural Life among the Shepherds he being as I 'm inform'd lineally descended from the noble Cid Ruy diaz Ambr. And what of all this Sir Card. What of all this Why then thou' rt a happy fellow I think to have the prospect of enjoying so sweet a Creature with so plentiful a Fortune Yet what most surprises me is to hear that her sudden Love to thee has quite alter'd her nature and she that from her Infancy was noted for th' most reserved and coy of all her Sex now talks of Love blushes sings amorous Sonnets and lives quite contrary to her former custom Ambr. So let her live prithee why dost thou trouble me with the recital of a Womans follies their Wiles their Mischief● and their Protean Changes I know too well already I am as well skill'd in the Philosophy of that damning Sex as e're was Aretine and hate 'em as he did with such a rancour that I have an Odium even for her that bore me for being female in her generation if thou wouldst please me say the plague's amongst ' em But he that bids me for a Wife prepare Is forming the worst Hell and fixing of me there Ex. Card. What the Devil ails him the young fellow 's bewitch'd I think I thought he came hither on purpose to follow her for I 'm sure I saw her go down that walk just know But since 't is otherwise I 'm certain she must meet him and then a kind word and a sweet look or two I warrant willsoon convert him from his Heresie Enter Page Page My Lord Duke has been looking for ye Sir this hour he 's now in the Hall with the Dutchess ready to see the second Exploit which we are going to banter Don Quixote with which is the Adventure of the Countess Trifaldi if you intend to laugh Sir come away for we are just going to begin Card. I 'll follow thee the Jest must needs be excellent Exeunt Re-enter Ambrosio and Marcella following Ambr. Was ever man so teiz'd with what he hated the more I shun the Plague the more I am infected how dar'st thou follow me Marc. What dares not Courage do I am in your debt Sir and like a generous Bankrupt am so honest I cannot rest nor harbour any quiet till I have made repayment Ambr. By tor●uring me is that the way Tormentor Marc. Heavens can you talk of tortures I being here that undergo the greatest that are possible Is there a greater torture for a woman than to suppress her humnour vail her Pride which she sometimes calls Modesty and be forc'd blushing beneath a thousand thousand shames to curse her Stars like me and own she loves Ambr. Why then Antipodes to Amity dost thou pretend to Love Marc. Oh that thy tongue were a sharp pointed Dagger to wound my heart that it might bleed an answer as it does now my Soul when it compels me to answer yes I do Ambr. What me is 't me thou lovest speak sweet damnation Marc. I will not speak thou Devil Gods what am I doing Oh give me back one minute of my past strength that I may have the pleasure but of railing a little at him and 't will be heaven to me where does thy Witchcraft lye thou Sorcerer in thy eyes thy tongue or in what other part Tell me that I may tear the fatal Charm and give my poor tormented Soul some ease Ambr. Hey Fits Eruptions This is woman right now there 's now a Legion of Cub Devils within her that tumble up and down and make her mad Marc. Forgive me Sir these strange effects of passion these stubborn weeds which I will now endeavor to root out and demolish Ambr. That was a flattering Feind now soft and moving to make us think she is a Foe to Pride Marc. I have seem'd proud Sir but 't was all Hypocrisy which Patience and warm pursuing had discovered as now your Charms have done and made me flexible Ambr. Ha ha ha ha now dearest Chrisostome look down and smile to see the Victim offered to revenge thee SONG I. DAmon let a Friend advise ye Follow Cloris tho she flies ye Tho her Tongue your Suit is slighting Her kind Eyes you 'll find inviting Womens Rage like shallow