Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	year_n	young_a	youth_n	105	4	7.4758	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A66844	The gentlewomans companion; or, A guide to the female sex containing directions of behaviour, in all places, companies, relations, and conditions, from their childhood down to old age: viz. As, children to parents. Scholars to governours. Single to servants. Virgins to suitors. Married to husbands. Huswifes to the house Mistresses to servants. Mothers to children. Widows to the world Prudent to all. With letters and discourses upon all occasions. Whereunto is added, a guide for cook-maids, dairy-maids, chamber-maids, and all others that go to service. The whole being an exact rule for the female sex in general. By Hannah Woolley.	Woolley, Hannah, fl. 1670.; Faithorne, William, 1616-1691, engraver.	1673 (1673)	Wing W3276A; ESTC R204109	139,140	297

yet she fears her Shepherd should not spy her Whatever you do be not induced to marry one you have either abhorrency or loathing to for it is neither affluence of estate potency of friends nor highness of descent can allay the insufferable grief of a loathed bed Wherefore Gentlewomen to the intent you may shew your selves discreetest in that which requires your discreetion most discuss with your selves the parity of love and the quality of your Lover ever reflecting on those best endowments which render him worthy or unworthy of your greatest estimation A discreet eye will not be taken only with a proportionable body or smooth countenance it is not the rind but the mind that is her Loadstone Justina a Roman Maid no less nobly descended than notably accomplished exclaimed much against her too rigid fate in being married to one more rich than wise And good reason had she being untimely made by his groundless jealousie a sad tragick spectacle of misery For the whiteness of her neck was an object which begot in him a slender argument of suspect which he seconded with rash revenge Let deliberation then be the Scale wherein you may weigh love with an equal poize There are many high consequent-circumstances which a discreet Woman will not only discourse but discuss before she enter into that hazzardous though honourable state of Marriage Disparity in descent fortunes friends do often beget a distraction in the mind Disparity of years breeds dislike obscurity of descent begets contempt and inequality of fortunes discontent If you marry one very young bear with his youth till riper experience bring him to a better understanding Let your usage be more easie than to wean him from what he affects by extremity Youth will have his swing time will reclaim and discretion will bring him home at last So conform your self to him as to confirm your love in him and undoubtedly this conjugal duty mixt with affability will compleatly conquer the moroseness of his temper If he be old let his age beget in you the greater reverence his words shall be as so many aged and time improved precepts to inform you his actions as so many directions to guide you his kind rebukes as so many friendly admonitions to reclaim you his Bed you must so honour as not to let an unchast thought defile it his Counsel so keep as not to trust it in any others breast be a staff in his age to support him and an hand upon all occasions to help him If he be rich this shall not or must not make you proud but let your desire be that you both employ it to the best advantage Communicate to the Needy that your Wealth may make you truly happy That is a miserable Wealth which starves the Owner I have heard of one worth scores of thousands of pounds who bought billets not for fewel but luggage not to burn them and so warm himself but to carry them on a frosty morning up stairs and down and so heat himself by that labouring exercise Wherefore let me perswade you to enjoy your own and so shun baseness reserve a provident care for your own and so avoid profuseness Is your Husband fallen to poverty let his poor condition make you rich there is certainly no want where there wants no content It is a common saying That as Poverty goes in at one door Love goes out at the other and love without harbour falls into a cold and aguish distemper let this never direct your thoughts let your affection counterpoize all afflictions No adversity should divide you from him if your vowed faith hath individually tyed you to him Thus if you expostulate your Christian constant resolves shall make you fortunate If your fancy be on grounded deliberation it will promise you such good success as your Marriage-days shall never fear the bitter encounter of untimely repentance nor the cureless anguish of an afflicted conscience Now as I would have you Gentlewomen to be slow in entertaining so be most constant in retaining Lovers or Favourites are not to be worn like Favers now near your bosom or about your wrist and presently out of all request Which to prevent entertain none so near your heart whom you observe to harbour in his breast something that may deserve your hate Carefully avoid the acquaintance of Strangers and neither affect variety nor glory in the multiplicity of your Suitors For there is no greater argument of mutability add leightness Constant you cannot be where you profess if change you do affect Have a care vows deliberately advised and religiously grounded are not to be slighted or dispensed with Before any such things are made sift him if you can find any bran in him task him before you tye your self to take him And when your desires are drawn to this period become so taken with the love of your Choice as to interpret all his actions in the best sense this will make one Soul rule two hearts and one heart dwell in two bodies Before you arrive to this honourable condition all wanton fancy you must lay aside for it will never promise you good success since the effect cannot be good where the object is evil Wanton love hath a thousand devices to purchase a minutes penitential pleasure Her eye looks and by that the sense of her mind is averted her ear hears and by it the intention of the heart is perverted her smell breathes and by it her good thoughts are hindred her mouth speaks and by it others are deceived by touch her heat of desire upon every small occasion is stirred never did Orlando rage more for his Angelica than these Utopian Lovers for their imaginary shadows These exorbitancies we must endeavour to remedy and that therein we may use the method of art we must first remove the cause and the effect will follow Let me then discover the incendiaries of this disorderly passion next the effects arising from them and lastly their cure or remedy The original grounds of this wanton fancy or wandring phrenzie are included in these two lines Sloth Words Books Eyes Consorts and luscious fare The lures of lust and stains of honour are For the first sententious Seneca saith He had rather be exposed to the utmost extremities Fortune can inflict on him than subject himself to Slotb and Sensuality For it is this only which maketh of Men Women of Women Beasts and of Beasts Monsters Secondly Words corrupt the Disposition they set an edg or gloss on depraved liberty making that member offend most when it should be imployed in profiting most Thirdly Books treating of leight Subjects are Nurseries of wantonness remove them timely from you if they ever had entertainment by you lest like the Snake in the Fable they annoy you Fourthly Eyes are those windows by which death enters Eve looked on the fruit before she coveted coveting she tasted and tasting she perished place them then on those objects whose real beauty make take them

THE Gentlewomans Companion OR A GUIDE TO THE Female Sex CONTAINING Directions of Behaviour in all Places Companies Relations and Conditions from their Childhood down to Old Age VIZ. As Children to Parents Scholars to Governours Single to Servants Virgins to Suitors Married to Husbands Huswifes to the House Mistresses to Servants Mothers to Children Widows to the World Prudent to all With LETTERS and DISCOURSES upon all Occasions Whereunto is added A Guide for Cook-maids Dairy-maids Chamber-maids and all others that go to Service The whole being an exact Rule for the Female Sex in General By Hannah Woolley LONDON Printed by A. Maxwell for Dorman Nowman at the Kings-Arms in the Poultry 1673. To all Young Ladies Gentlewomen and all Maidens whatever I Have formerly sent forth amongst you two little Books the first called The Ladies Directory the other The Cooks Guide Both which have found very good Acceptance It is near Seven years since I began to write this Book at the desire of the Book-seller and earnest intreaties of very many worthy Friends unto whom I owe more than I can do for them And when I considered the great need of such a Book as might be a Universal Companion and Guide to the Female Sex in all Relations Companies Conditions and states of Life even from Child-hood down to Old-age and from the Lady at the Court to the Cook-maid in the Country I was at length prevailed upon to do it and the rather because I knew not of any Book in any Language that hath done the like Indeed many excellent Authors there be who have wrote excellent well of some particular Subjects herein treated of But as there is not one of them hath written upon all of them so there are some things treated of in this Book that I have not met with in any Language but are the Product of my Thirty years Observations and Experience I will not deny but I have made some use of that Excellent Book The Queens Closet May's Cookery The Ladies Companion my own Directory and Guide Also the second part of Youths Behaviour and what other Books I thought pertinent and proper to make up a Compleat Book that might have a Universal Usefulness and to that end I did not only make use of them but also of all others especially those that have been lately writ in the French and Italian Languages For as the things treated of are many and various so were my Helps I hope the Reader will not think it much that as the famous Lymner when he drew the Picture of an exact Beauty made use of an Eye from one of a Mouth from another and so cull'd what was rare in all others that he might present them all in one entire piece of Workmanship and Frame So I when I was to write of Physick and Chyrurgery have consulted all Books I could meet with in that kind to compleat my own Experiences If any shall wonder why I have been so large upon it I must tell them I look upon the end of Life to be Usefulness nor know I wherein our Sex can be more useful in their Generation than in having a competent skill in Physick and Chyrurgery a competent Estate to distribute it and a Heart willing thereunto The like Apology I have for my Prolixity about Cookery and Carving which being essential to a true Houswife I thought it best to dwell most upon that which they cannot dwell without unless they design to render themselves insignificant not only in the world but in those Families where they are As for what concerns Gentlewomens Behaviour I have the concurrent advice and directions of the most able Professors and Teachers both here and beyond the Seas yet durst not be so airy and leight in my Treatise about Ladies Love and Courtship as some of the French Authors have been but have taken out of them what I found most taking with our English Gentry The like I may say for Habits and Gesture I am not ignorant of the vanity of some Mens stiles upon these Subjects and that young Ladies are too apt to take what may gratifie their Fancies and leave what may better their Judgments about true Behaviour I know I may be censured by many for undertaking this great Design in presenting to all of our Sex a compleat Directory and that which contains several Sciences deeming it a Work for a Solomon who could give an account from the Cedar to the Hysop I have therefore in my Apology to the Bookseller declared how I came to be of Ability to do it reciting to him the grounds of my knowledg in all those Sciences I profess and also what practice and experience I have had in the World lest any should think I speak more than I am able to perform I doubt not but judicious persons will esteem this Essay of mine when they have read the Book and weighed it well and if so I shall the less trouble my self what the ignorant do or say I have now done my Task and shall leave it to your candid Judgments and Improvement your Acceptation will much encourage London Nov. 10. 1672. Your Most humble Servant Hannah Woolly THE TABLE INtroduction Page 1. The duty and qualification of a Governess to Gentlewomens Children 4. A short account of the Life and Abilities of the Authoress of this Book 10. Good Instructions for a young Gentlewoman from the age of Six to Sixteen 15. Advice to the Female younger sort 17. The duty of Children to their Parents 21. Of a young Gentlewomans deportment to her Governess and Servants in the Family 25. What Qualifications best become and are most suitable to a Gentlewoman 29. Of a Gentlewomans Civil Behaviour to all sorts of People in all places 33. Of the Gait or Gesture 37. Of the Government of the Eye 39. Of Speech and Complement 41. Choice and general Rules for a Gentlewomans observation in Conversation with Company 43. Rules to be observed in walking with persons of bonour and how you ought to behave your self in congratulating and condoling them 53. Of Habit and the neatness and propriety thereof of Fashions and their ridiculous apish Imitation 54. Of New Fashions 62. Of young Gentlewomens fit hours and times for their recreations and pleasures and how to govern themselves therein 81. What Recreations and Pleasures are most fitting and proper for young Gentlewomen 83. Of the guiding of a Ladies love and fancy 87. The Gentlewomans Mirrour or Patterns for their imitation of such famous Women who have been eminent in Piety and Learning 98. Of Marriage and the duty of a Wife to her Husband 103. Of Womens Behaviour to their Servants and what is to be required of them in the House or what thereunto apppertains 109. Ferms for Carving all sorts of Meat at Table 113. Quaint Directions for the Carving all manner of Fowl 114. Artichoaks Fried 117. Artichoaks stewed ibid. An Almond-Pudding ibid. An Almond-Pudding in Guts ibid. An Almond-Tart 118. Almond-Cream

what in reason may be required from you and what justly you ought to perform Your skill will chiefly consist in dressing all forts of Meat both Fish Flesh and Fowl all manner of Baked-meats all kind of Sawces and which are most proper for every sort of Dish and be curious in garnishing your Dishes and making all manner of Pickles of all which I have treated of before as you will find it in the Chapter of my Instructions for young Ladies and Gentlewomen in the Art of Cookery wherein you may be supplyed with the Customary and a-la-mode ways of dressing all sorts of Meat And as you must know how to dress Meat well so you must know how to save what is left of that you have dressed of which you may make both handsome and toothsome Dishes again to the saving of your Masters purse and the credit of his Table Be as saving as you can and cleanly about every thing see also that your Kitchen be kept clean and all things scoured in due time your Larders also and Cubbards that there be no bits of meat or bread lye about them to spoil and stink That your Meat taint not for want of good Salting That you keep good hours for your Meals else you put an house quite out of order do not covet to have the Kitchen-stuff for your vails but rather ask the more wages for that may make you an ill Huswife of your Masters goods and teach you to be a thief for you will be apt to put that which goes into the tried suet into your pot Lay not all your Wages on your back but lay up something against sickness and an hundred other Casualties assure your self it is more commendable for one of your Profession to go decent and clean than gaudily fine Take this in part of that good counsel I could give you had I time which if you follow the greatest benefit will be your own at last Instructions for under-Cook-Maids IT behoves you to be very diligent and willing to do what you are bid to do and though your employment be greasie and smutty yet if you please you may keep your self from being nasty therefore let it be your care to keep your self clean Observe every thing in Cookery that is done by your Superiour treasure it up in your memory and when you meet with a convenient opportunity put that in practice which you have observed this course will advance you from a drudg to be a Cook another day Every one must have a beginning and if you will be ingenious and willing to learn there is none will be so churlish or unkind as to be unwilling to teach you but if you are stuborn and careless who do you think will trouble themselves with you Beware of Gossips for they will misadvise you beware of the sollicitations of the flesh for they will undo you and though you may have mean thoughts of your self and think none will meddle with such as you it is a mistake Hungry Dogs will eat dirty Puddings and I my self have known a brave Gallant to fall foul with the Wench of the Skullery when some others would have hazzarded their life for one sole enjoyment of that incomparable Lady his Wife he so ingratefully slighted Instructions for Dairy-Maids in great Houses HAve a care that all your Vessels be scalded well and kept very clean that you milk your Cattel in due time for your Kine by custom will expect it though you neglect it which will tend much to their detriment Waste not your Cream by giving it away to liquorish persons keep certain days for your Chirning and be sure to make up your Butter neatly and cleanly washing it well from the Butter-milk and then salt it well Be careful to make your Cheeses good and tender by well ordering them and see that your Hogs have the whey and that it be not given away to idle or gossipping people who live meerly upon what they can get from Servants That you provide your Winter-Butter and Cheese in the Summer as in May and when your Rowens come in be sparing of your Fire and do not lavish away your Milk-butter or Cheese If you have any Fowls to fat or Pigs look to them that it may be your credit and not your shame when they come to the Table When you milk your Cattel stroke them well and in the Summer-time save those strokings by themselves to put into your morning-Milk-cheese Instructions for Laundry-Maids in great Houses YOur duty will be to take care of all the Linnen in the house excepting Points and Laces whatever you wash do it up quickly that it may not stink and grow yellow and be forced to the washing again before it be used Let all the bracks in the Linnen or rents be duly mended and keep your certain days of washing and other days for the making clean of such Rooms as are appointed you Be sparing of your Soap Fire and Candle Entertain no Chare-woman unknown to your Lady or Mistress Be careful that your Tubs and Copper or whatever else you make use of be kept clean and in good repair That you rise early every morning but more especially on Washing-days Instructians for House-Maids in great Houses YOur principal Office is to make clean the greatest part of the house and so that you suffer no room to lie foul that you look well to all the stuff and see that they be often brushed and the Beds frequently turned That you do not misplace any thing by carrying it out of one room into another for that is the way to have then lost or you soundly chid for their being not in their proper places That you be careful for and diligent to all Strangers and see that they lack nothing in their Chambers which your Mistress or Lady will allow and that your Close-stools and Chamber-pots be duly emptied and kept clean That you help the Laundry-maid in a morning on a Washing-day That in the Afternoon you be ready to help the House-keeper or the Waiting-woman in their Preserving and Distilling To Scullery-Maids in great Houses THere are several Rooms that you must keep sweet and clean as the Kitchen Pantry Wash-house c. That you wash and scowre all the Plates and Dishes which are used in the Kitchen also Kettles Pots Pans Chamber-pots with all other Iron Brass and Pewter materials that belong to the Chambers or Kitchen and lastly you must wash your own Linnen Thus Ladies I have endeavoured to shew your Servants their duties in their respective places and what qualifications they ought to have which may enable and fit them for your service I shall now return to the Compleatment of those Accomplishments which best become your noble and gentile extraction I have already declared how you ought to be educated from your Minority to better Maturity of years and from thence what your deportment ought to be to all persons in all places there remaineth only some instructions how

you may talk and that elegantly to the same persons at a distance whether relations friends or acquaintance and that is by Letter having given you some general instructions how to pen them I shall lay you down some choice patterns of Letters upon several occasions for your imitation I shall conclude at present this Treatise with some witty Dialogues or interchangable Discourses between several of your Sex eminent for birth worth and ingenuity Some general and choice Rules for writing of Letters FIrst what a Letters is It is or ought to be the express image of the Mind represented in writing to a friend at a distance wherein is declared what He or She would do or have done This excellent use we have of Letters that when distance of place will not admit of Union of persons or converse Viva voce that deplorable defect is supplied by a Letter or Missive and indeed the necessity of conversing one with another as long as we live layeth an unavoidable cogency of communicating our affairs each to other without which friends at a distance could have no correspondence one with the other Though it lyeth not in the power of every one to make use of these excellent means for reciprocal Communication yet we see daily the illiterate and ignorant will make hard shifts rather than go without the benefit thereof applying themselves to friends that can write or if they have none to Scriveners or other strangers venturing their secrets with them rather than their friend shall go without the knowledg of them But as for you Ladies for whose use this Book was framed I question not your writing well but without inditing well it will signifie but little to the intent therefore you may pollish your Epistolical compositions observe these two things therein that is the Matter and Form The Matter of Letters is any thing that may be discoursed of without any exception or that which you would freely discover to your Relations or discourse to your friend when present the same you would do by Letter when he is absent if it stands with conveniency For sometimes it is not convenient to trust that in a sheet of paper which if lost or miscarried may be the great detriment if not the utter ruin of the person This matter you must know varieth much according to the subject you write upon I shall endeavour to treat a little of all the common subjects which are the usual occasions of Letter-writing Of Intelligence or Advice THese Letters are the informers of our friends of our own or others concerns There is no great matter of invention required in them for the very subject will afford you matter enough all that is required of you in this are these two things the first that you word your Matter well and that you write not any thing unadvisedly which you cannot justifie but above all have a care of News-writing if it nearly concern the State or any great person thereunto belonging Of Friend-chastisement IF you have a dear female-friend whom you suspect of any youthful excursions especially levity and would reduce her to a better understanding mildly lay open her errors and therein discover what an enemy she hath been to God and to her own reputation that there is no way to reconcile her self to God and the World but by her future exemplary modest carriage And that she may not think your reproofs have their original from malice or hatred to her person declare what a great esteem you ever had for her excellent parts and rare endowments of mind and what a pity it is such excellencies should be eclipsed by such foul miscarriages that it is not your sorrow alone but the grief of several of her friends and then subtilly insinuate this That had it not been a friend you so dearly loved you could have been well content to have been filent but contrary the love you bear her obliged you to reveal the evil reports you have heard of her and how troubled you are to see her commendations so limited with exceptions Were it not that she is she is absolutely one of the finest Gentlewoman in Europe Then conclude that you hope she will take all in good part and that she will highly oblige you to use the same freedom as you have done with her if she hears ought amiss Of giving good Counsel YOu may in the first place excuse your rash intrusion in giving counsel before it be required but the bonds of friendship were so strong that you could not forbear and therefore hoped she would take all in good part and then inculcate this that you did not doubt the sufficiency of her judgment but being tender of her welfare and knowing of what weighty concern the business in hand imported that it was not for a year or a day but for lise you could do no less being full fraught with a most entire affection but tell her she must consider then tell her what your advice is and be sure you back it with the best reasons and arguments you can summon together making it appear that your counsel is both honest and profitable and not self-interested and it only tends to her lasting good here and eternal hereafter husbanding your reasons according to the person you deal with Conclude with an hearty ejaculation to God that he may direct her for the best following the good advice you have given c. If you are a Mother of Children and would write to them or to your Servant you need not have rules in so doing the plainer you write the better it is and they will more readily understand you you need no more than signifie to them what you would have done and what undone as for reasons you need not alledg any to encourage them in their duty your power is sufficient and your command is the only reason why they should do so or so however if you see any refractoriness in your Children it will not be amiss to urge how just your commands are and how easily performed adding the promise of a reward if they fulfil your desire but threats and menaces of punishment if they disobey but concluding you hope to find them so towardly that they will not need correction Of requesting a kindness LEtters of this nature are of two kinds the first is when one Gentlewoman of quality sends to another her very good friend either for some courtesie to her self or for another and then she must begin with an acknowledgment of her love and how consident she still remains in the assurance thereof then make known your request and how easily it may be done and end with a promise of being sensible of the courtesie and retalliation If the person requesting be somewhat a stranger but much infcrior to the person of whom she intreats the kindness then she must begin with an insinuation excusing her boldness in daring to request a favour of a person whom she never obliged by