Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	year_n	young_a	youth_n	105	4	7.4758	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A29240	Times treasury, or, Academy for gentry laying downe excellent grounds, both divine and humane, in relation to sexes of both kindes : for their accomplishment in arguments of discourse, habit, fashion and happy progresse in their spirituall conversation : revised, corrected and inlarged with A ladies love-lecture : and a supplement entituled The turtles triumph : summing up all in an exquisite Character of honour / by R. Brathwait, Esq.	Brathwaite, Richard, 1588?-1673.	1652 (1652)	Wing B4276; ESTC R28531	608,024	537

magnanimous man as reproach and shame Oh then deferre no time but seasonably apply your taske by infusing into his breathing wounds some balmy comfort such as that Cordiall was of a divine Poet Nulla tam tristis sit in orbe nubes Quam nequit constans relevare pectus Nulla cordati Scrinio Clientis Ansa querelis No Cloud so dusky ever yet appeared Which by minds armed was not quickly cleared Ne're Suit to th' bosome of a Spirit cheered Sadly resounded Againe should you find him afflicted with sicknesse which hee increaseth with a fruitlesse impatience wishing a present period to his daies that so death might impose an end to his griefes Suffer him not so to waste his Spirits nor to dishonour him who is the searcher of Spirits but apply some soveraigne receipt or other to allay his distemper which vncured might endanger him for ever Exhort him to possesse his soule in patience and to supply this absence of outward comforts with the sweet relishing ingredients of some mentall or spirituall solace Ingenious Petrarch could say Be not afraid though the out-house meaning the body be shaken so the soule the Guest of the body fare well And he closed his resolution in a serious dimension who sung He that has health of mind what has he not 'T is the mind that moulds the man as man a pot Lastly doe you find him perplexed for losse of some deare friend whose loyall affection reteined in him such a deepe impression as nothing could operate in him more grounded sorrow then such an amicable division Allay his griefe with divine and humane reasons Tell him how that very friend which he so much bemones is gone before him not lost by him This their division will beget a more merry meeting Let him not then offend God by lamenting for that which he cannot recall by sorrowing nor suffer his too earthly wishes for his owne peculiar end to wish so much harme to his endeared friend as to make exchange of his seat and state of immortality with a vale of teares and misery Admit he dyed young and that his very prime hopes confirmd the opinions of all that knew him that a few maturer yeares would have so accomplish'd him as his private friends might not onely have rejoyced in him but the publique state derived much improvement from him His hopefull youth should rather be an occasion of joy then griefe Though Priam was more numerous in yeares yet Troilus was more penurious in teares The more dayes the more griefes No matter whether our dayes be short or many so those houres we live be improved and imployed to Gods glory But leaving these admit you should find him sorrowing for such a Subject as deserves no wise mans teares as for the losse of his goods These teares proceed from despicable Spirits and such whose desires are fixed on earth So that as their love was great in possessing them so their griefe must needs be great in forgoing them Many old and decrepit persons to whom even Nature promiseth an hourely dissolution become most subject to these indiscreet teares For with that sottish Roman they can sooner weepe for the losse of a Lamprey then for the very nearest and dearest in their Family At such as these that Morall glanced pleasantly who said Those teares of all others are most base which proceed from the losse of a beast And these though their grounds of griefe appeare least yet many times their impatience breakes forth most Fearefull oathes and imprecations are the accustomablest ayres or accents which they breath These you are to chastise and in such a manner and measure as they may by recollection of themselves agnise their error and repeat what that divine Poet sometimes writ to impresse in them the more terror That house which is inur'd to sweare Gods judgements will fall heavy there These as they are inordinate in their holding so are they most impatient in their losing And it commonly sareth with these men as it doth with the Sea-Eagle who by seeking to hold what she has taken is drench't downe into the gulfe from which shee can never be taken It was the saying of sage Pittacus that the Gods themselves could not oppose what might necessarily occurre Sure I am it is a vaine and impious reluctancy to gaine-say whatsoever God in his sacred-secret decree has ordained His sanctions are not as mans they admit no repeale What availes it then these to repine or discover such apparent arguments of their impatience when they labour but to reverse what cannot be revoked to anull that which must not be repealed Exhort them then to suffer with patience what their impatience cannot cure and to scorne such servile teares which relish so weakly of discretion as they merit more scorne then compassion Now there is another kinde of more kind-hearted men who though in the whole progresse of their life they expressed a competent providence being neither so frugall as to spare where reputation bad them spend nor so prodigall as to spend where honest providence bad them spare Yet these even in the shore when they are taking their farewell of earth having observed how their children in whom their hopes were treasured become profuse rioters set the hoope an end and turne Spend-thrifts too and so close their virile providence with an aged negligence sprinkling their hoairy haires with youthfull conceipts and singing merrily with the Latian Lyrick Our children spend and wee 'l turne spenders too And though Old-men doe as our young men doe This I must ingeniously confesse is an unseemly sight That old men when yeares have seazed on them and their native faculties begin to faile them should in so debaucht a manner make those discontents which they conceive from their children the grounds of their distemper For as the adage holds it prodigious for youth to represent age so is it ridiculous for age to personate youth But for decrepit age as it is for most part unnaturall to bee prodigall so is it an argument of indiscretion for it to be too penuriously frugall For to see one who cannot have the least hope of living long to bee in his earthly desires so strong to be so few in the hopes of his succeeding yeares and so full of fruitlesse desires and cares what sight more vnseemely what spectacle more uncomely That man deluded man when strength failes him all those certaine fore-runners of an approaching dissolution summon him and the thirsty hope of his dry-ey'd executors makes them weary of him that then I say his eager pursuit of possessing more when as he already possesseth more then he can well enioy should so surprize him discovers an infinite measure of madnesse for as it divides his affections from the object of heaven so it makes him unwilling to return to earth when his gellied blood his enfeebled faculties and that poor mouldred remainder of his declining cottage as

and imitation if so be wee deserve the name or title of friends First is If wee see our friend doubtfull or unresolved to advise him if afflicted to comfort him if sick or restrained to visit him if weake in estate or impoverished to relieve him if injured to labour by all means to right him and in all things to be helpefull to him supplying his necessity by apparent testimonies of our approved amity It is reported that on a time Duke Godwin bringing up a service to Edward the Confessors Table he chanced to slip with one of his feete but to recover himselfe with the other whereupon presently he used these words in the Kings hearing One brother supports another O quoth the King so might I have said too if Godwin had not beene meaning that he was the cause of his brothers death whose life was a staffe to his state but his fall a weakning to his feet Certainly every faithfull friend should be as a Brother or as in a naturall body one member ministers aid and succour to another where the head cannot say to the foot I have no need of thee nor the foot to the hand but every one in their distinct and mutuall offices are ready to execute their severall duties So I say should friends and Acquaintance be one to another not in preying or feeding one upon another as if all were fish that came to net for this were to make no difference or distinction betwixt friend or foe but for some intendment of private benefit to dissolve the strict bond of friendship Wheras a friend being indeed a mans second selfe or rather an individuate companion to himselfe for there is one soule which ruleth two hearts and one heart which dwelleth in two bodies should be valued above the rate of any outward good being such a happines as he giveth a relish to the dayes of our pilgrimage which otherwise would seeme like a wildernes for the world as it is both to bee loved and hated loved as it is the worke of the Creator hated as the instrument of temptation unto sinne ministers some few houres of delight to the weary pilgrime by the company and society of friends recourse and concourse of Acquaintance without which comfort how tedious and grievous would these few yeeres of our desolate pilgrimage appeare How highly then are we to value the possession of a good friend who partakes with us in our comforts and discomforts in the frownes and fawnes of fortune shewing himselfe the same both in our weale and woe It is written of Sylla that never any did more good to his friends or more harme to his enemies Which princely courtesie to his friends could not choose but increase them howsoever his extreame courses towards his enemies might seeme rather to inrage than appease them For as remembrance of benefits argues a noble nature so forgetting of injuries having in the meane time power to revenge implies a bravely resolved temper Whence it was that Themistocles when Symmachus told him he would teach him the art of memory answered hee had rather learne the art of forgetfulnesse saying hee could remember enough but many things hee could not forget which were necessary to bee forgotten As the over-weening conceit of himselfe indignities done him by his foes opposition in the quest of honour and the like all which a great minde could hardly brooke being so illimited as he can admit of no corrivall in his pursuit of honour But to descend to the greatest benefit which proceeds from friendship Commerce and Acquaintance we shall find how miserable the state and condition of this flourishing Iland had beene whose Halcyon dayes have attained that prerogative of peace which most parts of Christendome are at this day deprived of had not the friendly compassion and devout zeale of sundry learned and faithfull instruments of Christ delivered her from that palpable blindnesse and Heathenish Idolatry under which she was long detained captive S. Ierome in the end of his Dialogue against the Pelagians writeth thus Vntill the very comming of Christ saies he the Province of Britaine which hath beene oftentimes governed by Tyrants and the Scottish people and all the Nations round about the Ocean Sea were utterly ignorant of Moses and the Prophets So that then by the testimony of S. Ierome all our Religion was superstition all our Church-service was Idolatry all our Priests were Painims all our gods were Idols And to appropriate to every Nation their peculiar god there was then in Scotland the Temple of Mars in Cornwall the Temple of Mercury in Bangor in Wales the Temple of Minerva in Malden in Essex the Temple of Vistoria in Bath the Temple of Apollo in Leycester the Temple of Ianus in Yorke where Peters is now the Temple of Bellona in London where Pauls is now the Temple of Diana Therefore it is very likely that they esteemed as highly then of the Goddesse Diana in London as they did in Ephesus and that as they cried there Great is Diana of the Ephesians so they cried here being deluded with the same spirit Great is Diana of the Londoners Even no more than 53. yeeres before the incarnation of Christ when Iulius Caesar came out of France into England so absurd senselesse and stupid were the people of this Land that in stead of the true and ever-living Lord they served these Heathenish and abominable Idols Mars Mercury Minerva Victoria Apollo Ianus Bellona Diana and such like And not long after Anno Christi 180. King Lucius being first christened himselfe forthwith established Religion in this whole kingdome But thanks thankes be to God in the time of the New Testament three and fifty yeares after the incarnation of Christ when Ioseph of Arimathea came out of France into England many in this Realme of blind and ignorant Pagans became very zealous and sincere Christians For Saint Philip the Apostle after hee had preached the Gospel throughout all France at length sent Ioseph of Arimathea hither into England Who when he had converted very many to the faith died in this Land and hee that buried the body of Christ was buried in Glastenbury himselfe Also Simon Zelotes another Apostle after he had preached the Gospel throughout all Mauritania at length came over into England who when he had declared likewise to us the doctrine of Christ crucified was in the end crucified himselfe and buried here in Britaine About this time Aristobulus one of the seventy Disciples whom Saint Paul mentioneth in his Epistle to the Romans was a reverend and renowned Bishop in this Land Also Claudia a noble English Lady whom St. Paul mentioneth in his second Epistle to Timothy was here amongst us a famous professor of the faith Since which time though the civill state hath beene often turned up-side downe by the Romans by the Saxons by the Danes by the Normans yet the Gospel of Christ hath

nearest tye of affection no doubt but wee are by the Law of Nature nay by the definite command of our Maker rather to surcease from living then from supporting those from whom we received our being Our breeding was their care let our care bestow it selfe on their succour Let not a wish proceed from our heart to accelerate their end Though a wish extend not to an act yet it breaths too much inhumanity to worke upon so native a part Man should be of a more noble and malleable a temper then to partake of the nature of a Viper It is reported that towards the North-west part of Ireland there is an Iland so temperate or by some miraculous influence so indowed as when any Inhabitant there becomes worne with age or so enfeebled as their life becomes an affliction so tedious their houres so fastidious their yeares their Children or Friends must remove them out of that place before they can dye Whether there be any such enlivening Ile or no I shall leave to the credit of the Relater but I much feare mee there be many remorcelesse Friends and gracelesse Children who would find ready hands to remove those eye-sores from that Iland long before such times as any such decrepit age seized on them desiring rather to enjoy their present fortunes then the presence of their persons But such premature hopes resolve themselves into weake helpes for where Sonnes are sicke of the Father or Daughters of the Mother they generally decrease no lesse in the prosperity of their estate then quality of their nature Be it then your care to provide for their necessity to support them in their misery and cheerefully returne them all such offices of piety as may relieve their age and consequently improve your comfort in a surviving posterity And so we descend briefly to those Domestick Offices wherein the Servant is to expresse himselfe with all diligence and reverence to his Master as likewise in what manner every Master is to demeane himselfe towards his Servant in a gratefull and ample measure to requite his endeavour Wherein as they merit precedency we are first to treat of the Offices of a Master and in the second place of those duties of a Servant to his Master which are ever to be rendred with competent honour Of Domestick Offices EVery private Family is a little City wherein if there should be no order nor harmony that distracted government would beget a private Anarchy It were a great abuse said that Mellifluous Bernard for the Mistris to play the Hand-maid the Hand-maid and Mistris yet as the eyes of the Hand-maid should be upon the eyes of her Mistris so must not the eyes of the Mistris be estranged from the eyes of her Hand-maid As there is a deputative charge recommended to the one so should there be a supervisive care in the other Now as Masters challenge to themselves a power to command so are they to have discretion in knowing what they command In some cases Servants may more conscionably dis-obey then obey the commands of their Masters Ioseph would not ingage his honour by prostituting his chaste thoughts to a prohibited pleasure for the losse of a light Mistris favour Lawfull things only as they are by Masters to bee commanded so are they with all alacrity by Servants to be obeyed Now to walke in such a faire a smooth path of commanding as neither the Master may erre in the exhibition of his commands nor the Servant shew himselfe remisse in observing what is commanded the Master is to decline two extreames the neglect whereof many times begets either a contempt or hate in the Master an insolence or remissenesse in the Servant These are Leuity and Severity for as the one makes the Servant more insolent so the other makes the Master more hated The Wise-man indeed proposeth a Rule how Masters are to command and in what manner they are to demeane themselves to their Servants which he expresseth to life in these words He that delicately bringeth up his Servant from youth at length hee will be even as his Sonne Whence he inferreth That too much delicacy or familiarity with ones servant begets a contempt This makes him quite forget his servile condition and strangely infuseth into him an over-weening conceit of his owne abilities which begets in him such a malapertnesse as in short time his perverse disposition confi●mes the Wise-mans assertion He will not bee chastised with words though hee understand yet hee will not answer It is dangerous then to make a Copesmate of our Inferiour You are then to observe a Meane in this neither to insensate them by too much indulgency nor decline their affections from you by too much severity That indiscreet act of Vedius Pollio could deserve no lesse then an extreame censure who as one stript of humane nature could so intemperately tyrannize over his Servants as to cause one to bee cast into a Fish-pond for breaking a Glasse What an excellent rigid Master would this man have beene for our lascivious and spritely Gallants who cannot present an Health to their britle Venus without the breach of a Venice Glasse Now there be many Masters who with Zimri by seeking their Servants lose themselves These are so glued to the world as they verily think the world has not enough mould to give every one an handfull They never looke upon the wheele for such Emblemes are farre from them which in its motion has ever the least part or portion of all his proportion upon the ground Earth receives the least part of it whereas earth enjoyes the most of their heart These though they reteine the title of Masters are in their condition poorer then the lowest of their Servants For in those comforts or complies of nature they partake the least share Their sleeps are distracted their unseasonable repasts undigested their clothes sordidly or broakishly suited So as such miserable wretches as these who are only rich in having but poore in enjoying want no Character to discover the quality of their slimy nature but that Epitaph or Inscription which was addressed for one of the like temper and in this manner Here lyes hee who had stocke and store Had flocks i' th field had corne o' th floore Had Goats within and Gates at 's doore Had all a-Shore yet dyed poore I vow by fate a wondrous feate That such a Mate should dye for meate It is farre better to possesse little and enjoy it then by possessing much to be estranged from the enjoyment of it These as they are ever their owne Tormentors so they for most part leave few Mourners but fat Executors I have observed many of these rigid and severe Masters suited with the very sluggisht and sloathfull'st Servants Such as though they pretended diligence in their Masters sight it was but eye-service at the best For their Masters absence gave them an easie dispensation with Conscience Their seeming labour must

they have made earth weary of him so should they make him desirous to returne to Earth Now as you cannot expresse a more Christian neighbourly Office then in your private Arbours to converse with these Groundlings and acquaint them with the hopes of another life and the feares of a second death so even with all such as neighbour neere you when at any time you shall perceive any predominant irregular affection over-swaying reason in them to afford your best advice to reclaime them by which means as you may winne them so may you winne favour with the Highest by your so discreet pious and seasonable endevour to waine them For as comfortable cordials are usefull to such as be disconsolate So are more sharpe medicinable corrasives helpefull to such whom a long custome of delinquency has made indurate And so I briefly descend to the pleasant'st neither altogether the unprofitablest neighbourly Office which we formerly according to the distribution of our Ethicks proposed which particular office discreetly moderated cannot but redound with much mutuall content to the parties so lovingly and neighbourly interessed It is a received tenet Apollo's bow must not hold ever bent And once a yeare his laughter gives content There is none so intentively serious unlesse hee be wholly drenched in mundane cares or fastned to the privacy of a studious life but hee will reserve an houre to recreate his over-tyred spirits with his friend Yet sayes that Flower of Roman Oratory wee are in these to use a restriction lest of our recreation we make a profession Wee are to make use of it as of our sleepe or rest to cheere us not to dull us If wee lye too long groveling in it we become stupid and insensate by it This makes me recall to mind that pleasant Dialogue betwixt a Tutor and his Pupill whom when his Tutor found lying a bed at nine of the Clock he chid him telling him that five houres were sufficient to lye in bed for necessity and seven for recreation And truly said his Pupill I thought good to make use of both for I have laine twelve So as Tutor you cannot justly blame me having observed both mine houres of recreation and necessity Now in Subjects of this nature wee shall find such variety as they cannot chuse but afford us delight and that in a pleasing satiety For these extend equally to the exercises both of body and mind To the mind to reason or contemplate To the body to practise or operate The one being no lesse apt to use the words of that witty Centurist to handle his booke then the other his ball The one his Pen the other his Pike For the former of these that neighbourly Farmer writing to his honest friend and Farrier upon his Herauld labour exercised his wit in a recreative way after this manner Parthen in Miscell marg A Black-smith and a Writer 't is a straine Well hammer'd forth by th' Anvill of the braine Each period is a naile that well bestowes This prayse on th' Author he has won his Shoes He needs no Belloes to disperse his fame Each Stroke returnes an accent of his name With common cates he do's not cloy your gorge Nay what is rare He workes without a Forge Admit you 've broke or lost your Armes reteine This man hee 'l bring them to their use againe Nay reade till you be gravell'd I le assure you Repaire but to this Farrier hee will cure you One Smelt shall serve for all the more I read The more me thinkes He hits the naile o' th head So as I vow by th' Crowne of Polihymnie More learned smoak ne're steam'd from Lemnian chimny Whose wel-composed Bulke for state and style Needs not the helpe of any Vice or File For th' more one lookes the more it would amaze one To see a Mulciber a Coat deblazon Succeeding yeares shall say when these times passe That never Horse-leach such an Herald was And Stationer too will wish if 't roundly sell Many such Smiths were in his Israel Such harmelesse pleasing passages as these doe not onely delight the fancy but remaine as pledges of neighbourly love and amity whereas such light straines or jeering wits as run descant on the same of their Neighbour they may perhaps please themselves but they cannot chuse but dis-relish any well-disposed Hearer For true ingenuity can never hold equi-page or relation with love of infamy or detraction That wit reteines the best state which frees it selfe from others staine Whereas the too fat and fertile Soiles of exuberant wits for want of due culture grow wild with weeds and returne to their Master a fruitlesse crop for all his labour To divert from these there is an other recreation more commonly used then worthily approved because the too free scope given to the use has brought it into an abuse I meane their too assiduate familiar-neighbourly meetings which though they imply love yet they cloze too oft in violent extreames and apparent issues of hate Frequent meetings and long sittings cannot chuse but produce unexpected effects Especially seeing that even the best tempered spirits and sweet composed natures daily lose themselves by tasting too freely of Circes cups and of disceet Antenors become intemperate Elpenors Entring those inchanted Cels like Lambs but going forth like Lyons Neither as I have often observed did these distempers arise from any love they bore to the Cup but their Companion or some other attractive Motive which lengthneth the shots and makes the merry-madding houre seeme short This that pleasant Pasquill daintily shadowed An handsome Hostesse needs not keepe true score A smile will cause her Guests stay one night more She shewes no curt'sies but they must requite them While ev'ry kisse she lends makes up an Item Many mis-spent houres have these occasions produced which upon a more serious and indeed temperate consideration could not but be repented For upon discussing expence of Time and Coine how frivolous if not noxious delights begot a neglect in the former then which nothing more precious and a needlesse dis-respect of the latter then which nothing more profusely foolish these could not chuse but taxe themselves of ignorance in the one and improvidence in the other Such Consorts as these can neither make good Husbands for Wives good Companions for Neighbours good Masters of a Meney nor trusty Friends to any For the first that Lydian Maid discovered her resolution fully and imparted her mind freely in her distaste to a Mate of this society I 'd rather dye Maid and lead Apes in Hell Then wed an Inmate of Silenus Cell For the second how can they performe the Office of a Neighbour whose distemper'd braine cannot distinguish a Neighbour from a Stranger For the third how were it possible that they should be discreet Masters over others who have not the discretion to bee Masters of themselves For the last how should they be trusty to any when intemperance has