Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	worthy_a	write_v	young_a	24	3	5.3069	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A42291	Spanish letters: historical, satyrical, and moral; of the famous Don Antonio de Guevara Bishop of Mondonedo, chief minister of state, and historiographer royal to the Emperor Charles V. Written by way of essay on different subjects, and every where intermixt with both raillerie and gallantry. Recommended by Sir Roger L'Estrange, and made English from the best original by Mr. Savage.	Guevara, Antonio de, Bp., d. 1545?; Savage, John, 1673-1747.; L'Estrange, Roger, Sir, 1616-1704.	1697 (1697)	Wing G2182A; ESTC R216443	91,517	200

to be reclaim'd by Hellebore than a Jest. No more but God keep you and give me Grace to serve Him Burgos Febr. 8. 1524. LETTER IV. To the Magistrate Nunnio Tellio concerning the Qualifications of a True Friend Honour'd SIR tho Unadvis'd Young Man HAving read your Letter over and over I found in it many things worthy to be Answer'd and more to be blam'd for considering what you write and how you write it is impossible but you should weary your Pen and tire out your Reason You ought not only to have regard what but to whom you Address your self for Men of Quality and Slaves are not to be accosted after the same manner too much haste and negligence for the most part savouring of Disrespect Take it for granted Sir the Reader 's Authority is very much lessen'd by the Writers Assurance and therefore I would advise you for the future to sit down and consider what you are to say and how you shall express it before you begin your Letter for an Absurdity if it be folly to speak it will be much greater to write it Never begin any Letter of importance till you have first made a rough Draught of your Design for otherwise you will write what will certainly be laughed at and request what will as surely be rejected Sir you say you desire me for your Lord yet have chosen me for your Friend but I must tell you there is so great difference between these two Offices that were you sensible of it you would neither ask the one nor think of the other at the same time for where a Friend is engag'd at liberty a Lord is taken thro necessity a Friend serves a Lord requires Service a Friend gives a Lord takes a Friend endures a Lord blusters a Friend is silent where a Lord condemns and lastly a Friend Pardons when a Lord Revenges So that this being true I hold it impossible they should ever agree together you to be my Vassal and I to be your Friend In making me your Lord you must serve follow obey and fear me all which are both prejudicial to Liberty and Enemies of Repose so that you must often feel disquiet and likewise cause me some trouble It may also happen where I command you as a Lord you may think to obey me as a Friend and so believe your self justified where I am disappointed and wrong'd To ask me likewise to be your Friend is to require the greatest Slavery imaginable for I am thereby oblig'd to be yours all my life l●ng for true Friendship cannot be such where the Person belov'd does not continue the same with the Lover Friends are to be so absolutely united that they are to have but one Tongue to talk with the same Feet to wa●k with and but one Heart to produce insepara●le Affections in a manner that one Lise supports and one Death ends ' em It is very strange for one Friend to tell another He won't do such a thing or he cannot when the Laws of true Friendship oblige him to give all he has and do all he can In a Friends House ought neither to be Weights nor Measures Bonds nor Bills Property nor Thievry for there we may enter without knocking and take without asking He ties himself up very strictly that enters the Lists of Friendship for in such Case he has neither power to den● nor leave to excuse I cannot take him for my Friend or even a good Neighbour that when he gives does it by Weight and Measure and sometimes when I ask refuses me for where is the reason that he should not partake of my Wants who is the only Object of my best Wishes Seneca in his Book De Ira says A Wise Man ought to have but one Friend and likewise must take care he have no Enemies Which was well advis'd since Enemies are dangerous and too many Friends troublesome for the Rules of Friendship are so very nice that where many pretend few are able to perform ' em A True Friend's Motto is that He would sooner suffer for our Honour than be reliev'd by our Fault The Philosopher Mimus said He had a greater regard to the Love in his Friends Heels than Grief in his own Heart Also true Friends are oblig'd to have the same sense of anothers Misfortunes as they have of their own and at the same time are not only to be sensible but also assisting in a Remedy for otherwise where they accept their Tears they will have reason to complain of their Stinginess or Neglect The Philosopher Eschines being ask'd What was the greatest trouble of this Life answer'd To lose what one Wins and part from what one Likes Which was happily spoken for in the one a Man loses his pains and in the other his pleasure It is another priviledge of Friendship that we resent a Wrong done to a Friend in the same degree as to our selves for no sooner can he be afflicted than we are to be disquieted We ought to make choice of such as are Discreet to Advise and Powerful to Defend for if they want Discretion we shall need Councel in ●rosperity and if Power Relief in Adversity so that even amidst our Pleasures we may as well be lost as in our greatest Troubles ruin'd Great occasion has every Man for a true Friend who may assist when present and defend him when absent insomuch that he that has met with such a one may well boast himself possess'd of the greatest Treasure upon Earth for he is to Relieve him with his Estate Councel him with his Prudence Defend him by his Power and Correct him when he does amiss so that it is both his Duty and our Happiness to keep us from falling when staggering as to lift us up when down It is also requir'd in a true Friend to be both Discreet and Secret for if he be a Fool he is not to be endur'd and if a Babler may soon ruin us Our Estate Person Conscience or Life may be entrusted with a Relation Acquaintance or Neighbour but our Secrets must only be confided to a Friend It also comes under the Rules of Friendship not only to conceal all one hears but also to be silent of all one sees For Men have ever valued themselves upon holding their peace when they generally repent of too much talking Never must one Friend flatter another for the more we love the more we are oblig'd to Favour Defend Counsel and Correct Also never reproach for Benefits done but be satisfied with our bare trouble for a Reward for the Heart is never more at ease than when it has discharg'd it self honourably to a Friend Also in a dangerous Distemper we must not always expect a Friend should ask our assistance for oftentimes he may grieve long before he cares to complain Virtue has sometimes Friends and Prosperity is never without 'em but be they what they will they are both known in Adversity for where the better sort follow Virtue

never tir'd with Novelties his Hands with scraping up Riches his Tongue with uttering Vanities nor his Heart with desiring Superfluities You ask me What a Man is neither able to Conceal nor Dissemble I Answer Love Grief Riches and Ill-will For Love is discover'd by Sighs Grief bursts out in Complaints Riches appear in the Countenance and Hatred shows its self in the Eyes You ask me Sir what may easily be lost and yet can never be Recover'd I Answer Four things Virginity Time a Stone cast and a Word spoken You ask me What a Man has most reason to value himself upon I Answer Being a good Christian sincere in his Actions Patiént in his Sufferings and Secret in his Intentions You ask me Who are those that most readily get Friends and most easily lose ' em I Answer Rich Men Young Men Powerful People and Favourites For How soon do the Rich grow Contemptible when Poor the Youth when Old the Potent Person when he loses his Power and Courtier when his Prince withdraws his Favour You ask How many are the qualities requir'd in a Servant I Answer Four To be Diligent Patient Faithful and True For he that is willing to learn what he knows not can suffer when Rebuk'd discharges his Trust honestly and makes use of no falsity Let a Master make much of such a Servant and that Servant never doubt Preferment You ask me What the more a Woman desires the less she is contented I Answer fine Cloaths Beauty Freedom and Credit For above all things she loves to be well drest Esteems her self Handsom Longs to go where she Lists and would have every Body believe what she says You ask Sir What a Man must have regard to before he parts with a Benefit I Answer to the Thing Person Reason and Time For he must consider the thing that he may not be Niggardly The Person that he may Relieve or Refuse according to Merit The Reason that he may Exercise his Charity and the time that he may not be tardy in Necessity You Ask me What are the best Qualities in a Prince I Answer Four Courage to Suffer Generosity to Give Justice to Reward and Clemency to Pardon All other Imperfections are the easier born with where there can be found in him Mercy Justice Liberality and Patience You Ask me What a Gentleman ought most to avoid and which soonest brands him I Answer Covetousness Cowardise Lies and Injustice You Ask me likewise What Properties a Virgin must have to get a good Repute I Answer Four To be Handsom Honest an Enemy to Liberty and Despiser of Bawds Thus Sir are all your Demands Answer'd and where I have not happen'd to come up to your Expectations I hope you 'l at least Accept of my Endeavours No more but God keep you and give me Grace to Serve him Valencia Oct. 11. 1528. LETTER XIX To the Governor Don Lewis Bravo occasioned by his falling in Love in his old Age being a familiar Satyr on such fruitless attempts as likewise a serious warning to all Old Men not to go beyond their strength Noble but Inconsiderate Sir TO Stile you Noble or right Noble Virtuous or right Virtuous Magnificent or very Magnificent were doing you a palpable wrong without the least Honour since at the Age you are of joyn'd with the Life you lead there appears neither Nobility in your Person nor Modesty in your Manners The Letter you sent plainly shows it was product of your own Brain and work of your own Hand since it is thereby demonstrable how little account you make of Honour and at the same time how void you are of Shame If you did not deceive me and your Brother spoke truth you wanted then but two Months of Sixty three allowing first-Fruits to the Bishop of Cordoua and all the Tithes to the Parson of your Parish It were but reasonable therefore to expect at so great Age you should at length have recover'd your Wits and come to your self But such is the obstinacy of hardned sinners they still run on to the end of their Lives before they think of mending I am oblig'd to say this Sir tho ' not so much troubled at what you write as that you give me cause to answer it after an ungrateful manner for since you treat of a subject so Mal a propos I may well think my self at liberty to answer with severity To come to the point then I must tell you it seems to me a meer jest that being a Christian Divine Preacher Priest Religious Person and even the strictest of St. Francis's Order you should now talk to me of Love and even enroll me among the Gallants For where I grant it my duty to hear your confession I do not think my self at all oblig'd to guide you in your Amours You writ me one particular you ought have been asham'd to propose since I cannot but blush to answer it and that is that at Seventy Years of Age you are now fallen deeply in Love and moreover would needs have me to send you a Love-Letter for your Mistress as well to perswade her to yield to your desires as to suspend her Duty to God for a while Sir in the mean time since I am not acquainted with your Mistress nor so much as know who she is I should be very glad if you would communicate to her this Letter which being carefully read and rightly understood I need not doubt being reveng'd on your imprudence your being inform'd of your folly and she convinc'd of your madness But lest I be thought all this while in Jest it is high time my Pen should freely tell you my th●ughts on the whole matter At your Age it is great falshood to say you Love since you cannot so properly now be term'd Amorous as decrepit a Gallant as Leacher Pleasing as Doating At your Age you should rather observe theNine-a-Clock Bell to go to Bed than four-a-Clock Chimes i' th' Morning to go home at At your Age perhaps you may Love but it is ridiculous to say you are belov'd since the wretch you Court gives not ear to you for the sake of your Person but is wholly enamour'd on your Fortune At your Age all you can say becom●s a Jest for where Women entertain Young Men for Pleasure they only give old ones the hearing to laugh at At your Age you are unfit to write Songs Serenade climb Walls make a figure in the Streets or quarrel in the Dark and yet Vain and Conceited Women will not only think to be Courted and well paid in private but also expect to be Gallanted and Defended in Publick At your Age it is not proper to wear thin Shoes a Hat high-cock'd a streight Coat large Steenkirk and your Mistresses Favours and yet these sort of Animals will not barely require a Man should write wit but also be ve●y Beauish in his Dress At your Age it is impossible to endure the continual Importunities of asking and everlasting

and Horse being great and bulky Creatures are also serviceable in their Kinds when the Flea Mouse Lizard Fly and Grashopper only molest and are of no use to us at all You also upbraid me My Lord wi●h being too tedious at Mass and making long Memento's Whereupon I assure your Lo●dship if I am long at Mass you also are n●t over-sparing of Talking for I have often 〈◊〉 you begin a Discourse which I have never yet dar'd stay to see ended I always endeavour to suit the Memento's of my Mass to the Sins of my Life and think it but Reason where I Offend so much I should not Pray a little The C●eator and Redeemer of the World was moderate in all things except Prayer but in that he spent much time which appears by his Orizons in the Garden of Gethsemani where the heavier the Agony grew the longer and more earnestly he Pray'd Your Lordship also complains my Sermons are Long and Tiresom To which I answer no Sermon can possibly be so where the Hearers assist rather like Christians than Criticks I remember last Lent when I was with your Lordship some Salmons of Penamelera were presented you which you said were good but very small so that I find my Lord a Salmon can never be long enough nor Sermon too short for you It is now Eight and thirty years since I first came to this Court where I have known every thing encrease except Sermons which always continue at one stay The reason I suppose being that more time is spent in Eating more allow'd for Sleeping Cloaths take up more Cloth Garments are more costly and Men more Vicious in fine no bounds are prescrib'd to talking any thing else only a Sermon must not exceed an hour As to what your Lordship says of my shortness in Writing I answer That in my Opinion there needs nothing to Talk well but a quick Wit where a great deal of Judgment is requir'd to Write so for to know whether a Man have Sense or be Mad there can be no better trial than putting a pair of Spurs on his Heels or Pen into his Hand I confess I am generally larger in every thing than Writing which I do not repent of since I can recall a Word spoken but can never deny my Hand To speak any thing silly is heedless but to put ones Hand to it extream folly Salust says if Catiline and his Accomplices had not signed the Conspiracy tho accused they could never have been condemned by which it appears the Pen kills sometimes as well as the Sword If Laertius Plutarch Pliny Vegetius Vulpicius and Eutropius do not deceive us in their Histories many Poets Orators Philosophers Kings and Great Men in former Ages were very copious in Discourse but at the same time exceeding brief and correct in Writing Caes●r in a Letter writ to Rome from the Persian War had only these Words Veni Vidi Vici Augustus Writing to his Nephew Cajus Drusus says only Now you are in Illirium remember you are one of the Caesars were sent by the Senate are young my N●phew and a Citizen of Rome Tiberius writ to his Brother Germanicus in this manner The Temples are Venerated Gods Served the Senate is Unanimous Commonwealth Prosperous Rome Healthy Fortune Favourable and the Year Plentiful This is what occurs in Italy the same we wish to you in Asia Cicero writes to Cornelius thus Rejoyce that I am not sick and I shall be glad to hear you are well Divine Plato writing from Athens to Dionysius has only these Words To kill your Brother impose new Forces oppress your People forget your Friends and to be an Enemy to Phocio are actions that savour of a Tyrant Pompey the Great writ from the East to the Senate after this manner Damascus is taken Pentapolis subdued Syria made a Colony Arabia become Confederate and Palestine Conquered The Consul Anneus Sylvius writing of the Battle of Pharsalia to Rome says Caesar overcame Pompey died Rufus fled Cato kill'd himself the Dictatorship is at an end and Liberty lost This My Lord was the Method used by the Ancients in Writing to their Familiar Friends so that where their Brevity is worthy to be imitated our Tediousness ought to be no less Censur'd God keep you and give me Grace to Serve him Valladolid Oct. 8. 1525. FINIS THE TABLE LETTER I. TO Messer Perepollastre an Italian the Author's Friend exposing a Calumny cast upon him and defending his Innocence Page 1. LET. II. To Dr. Melgar a Physician in which are handled the good and harm occasion'd by his Profession together with the Progress and several Interruptions of that Art as also the Author's thoughts of it from its first Original p. 11. LET. III. To a Lady the Author's Neece who fell sick for the Death of a little Bitch p. 32. LET. IV. To the Magistrate Nunnio Tellio concerning the Qualifications of a true Friend p. 38. LET. V. To the Abbot of Monserrat in which he treats of the Oratories of the Ancients together with some few Reflections on the Court p. 43. LET. VI. To a particular Friend of the Author's advising him not to be covetous and griping illustrated with severe Reflections on that Vice p. 48. LET. VII To Don Henrique Henriquez in answer to several pleasant questions p. 55. LET. VIII To the Duke of Alva of Sickness and its Benefits p. 60. LET. IX To Don John Parelloso that we may be serviceable to Women in their Husband's absence but are not to visit ' em p. 65. LET. X. To Don Hernando de Toledo concerning what the Aegyptians were wont to do for their dead Friends p. 69. LET. XI To Dr. Coronel his familiar Friend in Answer to some Demands p. 74. LET. XII To Don Pedro Giron in which the Author gives some hints of the Ancients manner of writing but chiefly consisting of Iocular Reflections on a bad Scribe p. 77. LET. XIII To Don Alonzo Manriquez Arch-bishop of Sevill and Don Antonio Manriquez Duke of Najara upon their choosing him to decide a controversie between them wherein he wittily exposes their Ignorance declares which was Numantia and which Saguntum and moreover relates both Origin and Destruction of the former p. 85. LET. XIV To Don Alonso de Albornoz shewing it sign of ill breeding not to answer a Letter also laying down the dangers of Matrimony and likewise containing some pleasant News from Court The whole embellish'd with biting Raileries and serious Reflections p. 97. LET. XV. To Don Diego de Camina how all Men are subject to Envy p. 103. LET. XVI To Don John de Moncada Describing Anger and Extolling Patience p. 108. LET. XVII To the Ambassador Don Geronimo Vique shewing the ill effects of over-much liberty p. 116. LET. XVIII To Dr. Micersumier Regent of Naples in answer to several Moral Questions p. 122. LET. XIX To the Governor Don Lewis Bravo occasion'd by his falling in Love in his old Age being a familiar Satyr on such fruitless attempts as likewise a serious warning to all Old Men not to go beyond their strength p. 129. LET. XX. To the same concerning the Qualities requir'd in an Old Man As also how difficult it is to remove Love from a Heart where it has once taken root Nevertheless prescribing some few Remedies against it p. 135. LET. XXI To Don Alonso Espinel Corregidor of Oviedo a very Neat and Pleasant old Gentleman wherein the Author hints how much the Ancients always honoured Age together with several Priviledges peculiar to old People exceeding pleasant and no less Reforming p. 144. LET. XXII To Don Antonio de Zuniga Prior of St. ●ohn's informing him that though a Gentleman ●e subject to Failings he ought to be guilty of nothing Dishonourable With several Encomiums on this Prior's Valour in his Command at the Siege of Toledo As likewise a Promise to recommend his Prowess to Posterity LET. XXIII To Don Ignigo de Velasco Constable of Castile shewing that Anger and Passion ought never to be permitted to reign in the Heart of a Man of Honour condemning communicating Letters Instructing how and when to Advise And lastly Writing some Iocose News from Court p. 167. LET. XXIV To the same wherein is hinted that a wise Man ought never to trust a Woman with a Secret occasion'd by Communicating a Letter of the Authors p. 172. LET. XXV To the same containing many Pleasant and Profitable Remarks on Nobility of Birth Stature of Body Long Prayers and Tedious Sermons as likewise hinting the Brevity us'd by the Ancients in Writing p. 175. FINIS