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A28504 I ragguagli di Parnasso, or, Advertisements from Parnassus in two centuries : with the politick touch-stone / written originally in Italian by that famous Roman Trajano Bocalini ; and now put into English by the Right Honourable Henry, Earl of Monmouth.; De' ragguagli di Parnaso. English Boccalini, Traiano, 1556-1613.; Monmouth, Henry Carey, Earl of, 1596-1661. 1656 (1656) Wing B3380; ESTC R2352 497,035 486

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hearing of this foolish request broke forth into loud laughter and told Tressino He vvas sorry to see him still pursue ridiculous novelties Tressino replied That his request was no nevv invention but a thing much used and that the famous Roman Republique and after them many great Lords vvho might very vvell have paid their Creditors vvith ready money paid the obligations of blood and debts due for long and costly service with Lavvrel and the Order of Knighthood Then Apollo smiled again and told Trissino that he built Castles in the arte for he must be another manner of man then he that would sell meer smoak for good Merchandize Tressino being dispatcht Process was read against a base humerous Doctor of the Law whose name the higher Powers will have concealed where it was said That in Governments which he had had he would often in publick audiences with great pride and surquedry behave himself insolently even with noble and honorably conditioned personages saying that he would send them to the Gallies would have their heads taken off and make them be hanged before the Palace Gate The Doctor said in excuse of this his error that he did this to make himself terrible to the people and to make himself be obeyed Apollo after he had put him in mind that good Officers and men of honor made themselves dreadful to the people by an equally rigorous and uncorrupt Justice and not by insolent threats gave order that that Doctor whose genius appeared fitter to command slaves then men of honor should be sent to be Auditor of the Gallies Immediately after Beneventano's cause was heard who shooting at a great Wolf with a gun charged with small hail-shot the Wolf being lightly hurt flew upon him according to his custom and with his teeth tore his left thigh Those that were present at the Visitation wondred very much why he should be questioned who deserved rather to be comforted for the danger he had run and cured of the wounds he had received But Apollo who was not well pleased that one of his Litterati should have committed so great a piece of folly since he had alwaies told his Vertuosi that they must take off their hats to cruel and dangerous beasts and suffer them to pass by quietly or else shoot at them with a musket loaded with ram'd bullets and so lay him flat on his back condemned the Litterato to the usual punishment of imprudency that none should excuse his error none should pitty him and that all men should laugh at him This cause was no sooner ended but Cratippus the Athenian Philosopher appeared at the visitation and the Information against him was That the Duke of Ephesus had given to him his only son to be brought up by him to whom when he came to mature years he relinquisht the Government of his State wherein the young Prince proved as unapt as he proved famous for Philosophy for he was timerous in the handling of arms and incapable of State-affairs and the singular goodness and honesty which he had learnt of Cratippus which would have been greatly admired in a privat man was in him interpreted want of wit That therefore the Philosopher not having instructed that young Prince in such things as were to be known by one who was to govern so numerous a people the Duke of Ephesus re-demanded the sallary he had given him Apollo was mightily displeased with Cratippus his imprisonment and turning to the Duke who was there present told him that he should not blame Cratippus for his sons unap●…ss to Government but his own bad choice for that Vertuoso having taught his P●…pel the Science which he did publickly profess had fully discharged his duty And that such a one as he ought to know that Arsenals Armories and State-Councels were Schools for Princes children and that the Scholarship which they ought to learn was the Philosophy the Poetry which was several times every week read in the wise Senat of Venice that Captains Counsellers and Secretaries of State were the best instructers of Princes children and the memory of their Ancesters the glorious actions of such Princes as both in peace and war had done things worthy to be admired and imitated the rods wherewith they ought to be whipt Constantius Albicini was next brought before Apollo whom his Majesty did mightily abominate as one who was publickly known to be a prime finder out of vexatious inventions His process said That he being requested by an avaritious Prince to invent some new way for him how to raise money from his Subjects without offending or angring them advised him to give out that he was likely to be unexpectedly assaulted by his enemies who would possess themselves of his State that therefore it was necessary to fortifie the Metropolitan City to effect the which so requisite work he must proclaim a new Tax which would be easily granted by them who apprehended the danger of their lives goods and honors that then he should in all haste begin the works which he must continue for one year that the second year he should proceed therein more slowly and that the third year he should give it quite over for that the people being accustomed for those two years space to pay such an Imposition would willingly continue the payment of it And because the chief Magistrate of the City had a rich revennue worth forty thousand crowns a year which this covetous Prince did much thirst after he told him that to make himself Master thereof and to invite the Citizens to make a free gift thereof unto him he was only to provide two friends the one of which should stand up in a publick Councel and should advise that it were good and fit to reward the Prince for his excellent Government with freely parting with two years revennue unto him and that the other friend whilst the Proposition was discussing should say openly That to give their suffrages in secret was an action misbecoming a faithful people towards their Prince where the ungrateful and disloyal had opportunity to obscure the fidelity of Loyal Subjects That therefore men should speak their mind alowd and the Votes be so decided for the rabble-rout allured by the shortness of the time would grant that for a few years which they should never regain It was aver'd in the same process that this same Constanso had confest that he had told the same Prince that an exeellent way to get money of his Subjects was to inhibit somewhat which was greatly desired and much used in his State as the extravagancy in aparrel costly Jewels and too exorbitant portions that if any one should afterward desire a dispensation therein it might be granted him but upon a good acknowledgment and upon paying well for the Seals Apollo having heard this wicked mans so great iniquity and wondring that so much rascallity could be found in any one man brake forth into these words Puniendos rerum atrocium Ministros Tacit.
and condition of seed which hath been thereupon sown yet the Harvest may be said in general to be penurious Since by the publick calamity of mankind peoples wits are become steril and barren as well as is the aire and earth Those who have sowed the study of the Law have usually had a great encrease and many are much enriched thereby particularly those who have cultivated the fields in the Common Pleas their Harvest is so plentifull as it yields fifty for one Greater things have been seen in the fruitfull fields of the Courts at Rome where particularly Silvestro Aldobrandini and Markantonio Borghese two Roman Advocates each of whose sons were Popes having sowed the study of the Law with much cost and infinite labour and watered it with their sweat have filled their Granaries with rich treasure and their sons who have practised the same Husbandry have thereby purchased Principalities for their Families and Divine Dignities for themselves Those who have sowed the study of Phisick have likewise had a good harvest but not to be compared with that of the Law for it gives only twelve for one The Plowers of Poetry have seen their fields make a beautifull shew in the Spring of their age and had great reason to expect a rich harvest but when in the beginning of Iuly the season of earing began they saw their sweat and labours dissolve all into leaves and flowres so as having laboured in vain the Poets find themselves pil'd and pol'd not having meat to eat Wherefore this sort of Husbandry as being more for appearance then profit is almost given over But little Greek hath been sown there being in these times but small vent thereof which may peradventure be occasioned because the bread which is made of such grain although it hath formerly been the daily food of a numerous Nation it seems notwithstanding that it proves hard of digestion to the squeasie stomacks of modern weak-wits Hence it is that some of the more Learned sort have only sowed so much thereof in their Gardens as will serve for their houshold expence and rather not to appear ignorant than to seem learned and to maintain Seed but not to make Merchandize thereof The Seed of Hebrew is almost quite lost for it being no longer in use there are but very few that sow any and certainly it redounds much to the general shame of all men that this tongue is not ambitiously aspired unto since God by his speaking in that Language hath given it so great reputation The Husbandmen of Philosophy have even lost their seed and therefore the world is about to give over such Merchandize as that which requireth the fruitfull fields of subtile wits and infinite study to make it grow and come to maturity and since it yields but little fruit and but very few buyers of that little to intend it is to loose the Principal They who have sowed good turns contrary to the opinion of many have had a most plentifull harvest and certainly such seed is as pretious as wonderfull For of many bushels-full thereof if one onely grain spring up and prosper it yields so abundant an encrease to the Husbandman as it makes him rich It is true that only magnanimous minds and men of great liberality attend the most noble Husbandry of sowing Benefits for the costive avaricious men whose greediness is such as they would reap before they sow dare not venture to throw that seed upon the ground which they see is for the most part lost Those who have sown threats and injurious words have reaped great store of actual offences the sowers of curses reap great store of maledictions Those likewise who have sown tribulation have reaped so plentifull a harvest of Thorns as they have filled their Granaries therewithall even up to the top for their own use and from those that shall descend from them even to the sixtieth generation The Tenth ADVERTISEMENT Menante comes into the Politians Ware-House and by the Merchandizes which the Learned buy there he studies how to know the quality of their Wits TO make an exact judgement of every mans genius it is very behooffull to frequent those places where vertuous exercises are used and those Shops wherein vitious things are sold and to observe them that frequent them For Libraries serve as well to make known the lovers of Learning as living riotously denotes out Gamsters or Cooks Shops Gluttons nor is there a better way to discover vain men then to frequent Barbers shops often and to observe who those Ganemedes are who those Narcissi who having the patience to sit two hours under the Barbers hands will be trim'd with such exquisite diligence as they spend more time in turning up their beard then a faire Lady doth in dressing her head they think that every hair which stands out of order will make them appear so many fowle fiends when they are in company Menante therefore who is very well acquainted with this piece of skill entertains himself often in the aforesaid Ware-House opened in Parnassus by the Colledg of Polititians the which he doth that he may come to know the genius of many of this Court by the qualities of Ware which they buy there that he may afterwards give a more exact account thereof to his friends and acquaintance Three daies since Iohn Baptista Sanga a famous Secretary in the Court of Rome happened into this the Polititians Shop who asked one of the young men if they had any Cole to sell or no He was answered yes and straightway some Cole was shewed him which when the Courtier saw he agreed upon the price and bought forty load thereof Menante wondred to see the Courtier buy so great a quantity of Cole which he knew was very disproportionable for him who kept but one servant and being very well acquainted with this Sanga he with great confidence asked him why having none but himself and servant in the house he made so great provision of Cole To the which Sanga freely answered that he burnt no wood in his Kitchin Menante then asked him whether he did it for that he found it cheaper to burn Cole To the which Sanga freely answered That living in the Court he was forced to measure his affairs by the surplusage of his reputation not by sparing money and that he hated wood-fires because they made a great smoak and but little live coles and that the burning of cole was very good for those that did not love their porredg should smell of smoke and that he did not desire that the quality of his victuals should be judged of by those hounds which are only good at smelling out what men do by the smoke of his Kitchin-Chimney but by the copious adorning of his Table Next to Sanga Epictetus entred the Shop a Philosopher who for the excellency of his soul is of high esteem in Parnassus and therefore very well known admired and observed by Menante This man desired the Foremen of the
act of adulterous Fellonies For wounds which cause dishonor are warded and put by by good Fencers before they hurt they are fools that cure them when they are received the very self same hour that you see any subject of yours but cast an eye upon a Forrain Prince do as Mauro did hold not your thumbs underneath your girdles but imploy Gallowses and Ropes and if upon your greatest occasions and particularly when you wiil appear with honor before an Enemy Prince with your subjects Arms in hand be not seen with a pair of horns on your head The XXXVI ADVERTISEMENT Thais that famous Curtizan of the Comick Poets is at last though after much debate admitted into Parnassus who much to Apollo's satisfaction tells what good she hopes to bring to his Court. IN the great Councel which was yesterday held in Parnassus by all the Litterati and the most famous personages of this State many learned in all the Liberal Arts who were lately come to this Court were propounded to have honourable places allowed them in Parnassus amongst which Thais that common whore of the Comick Poets was named for one and found favourable suffrages being extraordinarily assisted by Publius Terrentius who was so partial on her behalf as he held secret practice with all the Poets And it hapned that whilst the gates of Parnassus were opened to her to the end that she might present her self before Apollo and the Senate of the Vertuosi to thank them for the favor she had received the illustrious Cardinal Alexander Fernese accompanyed by a train of Prelates withstood Thais as she was about to enter crying out aloud that if so unworthy a person from whom nothing but publick scandal could be expected should be admitted into Parnassus he for his part would rather be gone from thence then see vertuous places profaned with such polutions which were onely aboads for those Litterati as by their words writings and exemplary lives could prescribe wholsom Precepts unto others and that he knew there were many Vertuosi who would put on the same resolution Whilst the Cardinall spoke thus and that he endeavoured by force to keep her out of the gate she was so strongly assisted by a numerous squadron of Poets who backt Terrentius as there began a very dangerous dispute at the gate But wary Thais who knew that she had always come by the worst in all the quarrels that she at any time before had ever been the occasion of said aloud that she did no ways intend to enter into Parnassus by force but with the goodwill of every one and more particularly by the approbation of those most illustrious and Holy Prelates and that if they were thought worthy of an aboad in Parnassus who could give excellent Councel unto others and wise Precepts she should be unjustly dealt withal if she should be denyed to inhabit in those venerable places and that though she knew she might of right claim an aboad in Parnassus yet she would acknowledge it as a singular favor and especially from those that did most withstand her and that those that did not love to see her in Parnassus were much deceived in the ill opinion they had of her for that there was not any one in those blest habitations to whom she was not able to give such advertisements as wiser nor more necessary could not be given by any whatsoever Moral Philosopher and that it was not so much for the purchasing of Eternity to her name that she desired to live amongst the Vertuosi in Parnassus as to be assisting unto many by her perpetual walking in the streets and admonishing every one to live modestly ever amongst their neighbours and to shun the foul vice of calling their companion whore as they would shun death if their own Consciences were not cleer for that there being many wrangling Courtiers they had oft times faln at such odds as by blows and calumnious speeches they had wounded their reputations and that Officers who went to have the Government of Provinces could not learn the important and difficult Philosophy of getting monies in their governments with reputation from any more learned instructress then from her for that onely Thais knew the accurate Art of fleecing the flock with such diligence and dexterity as they would rather seem to be tickled and rejoyce then exclaim or make any noise in which practice she boasted her self to be so singular as she had seen her sweethearts a thousand times to be then most in love with her when being flead to the quick and galled to the very bones she had sent them raw and naked to the Hospital from whence they have notwithstanding sent her amorous Epistles That they who were greedy of riches who did everywhere and by all means sweat and labour after the accumulating of Gold might learn by her onely unfortunate example that wealth ill got through Gods just Anger vanisht into smoak for of all the innumerable monies which she had suckt from out the veins of her lovers and the great riches which she robd many families of she had now nothing remaining but those four lashes which every one might see upon her back when if God had given a blessing to the monies which had past through her hand instead whereof she had had a thousand curses she might have vyed for wealth with any Princess Next that every one might learn by her face which was so pleasing to her friends by her flatteries and falacies with which she used to delude and allure and intice those ill advised young men which she got into her hands by her continual smiles by which she covered her ravenous minde and that sharp Rasor wherewith without any manner of discretion or piety she did shave nay even flea her lovers never to trust appearances grateful acceptance fair words and offered courtesies and never to give themselves over into any ones power unless they had first perfectly anatomised them For many such as she had pleasing aspects good looks and sweet breaths whose disguises being taken off by discreet persons and their inside of their souls discovered they were found to be stinking carren full of festered wounds and to have false souls and fraudulent hearts and infinitely interessed Then turning towards Cardinal Fernese Thais said And who when I shall have opened my house in Parnassus ought more to frequent my schoole then your Excellency my most illustrious Sir wherein you may learn that important vertue of newtrality which the Popes Nephews such as your self have so much need of a Science wherein I am so well known as I may read it in the schooles for never being whilst I lived in the world without twenty Pamphilioes all inamored of me who all of them hated one another by reason of the jealousie which useth to be among young rivals yet by my sagacity I have always known how to behave my self so dexterously with them as I have rather taken their weapons from them then put them