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as_o woman_n be_v in_o respect_n of_o their_o attire_n often_o the_o least_o part_n of_o themselves_o the_o like_a may_v be_v say_v of_o man_n in_o the_o disguise_n of_o the_o mind_n so_o it_o be_v and_o such_o punishment_n be_v deserve_v in_o our_o desertion_n and_o rebellion_n against_o god_n and_o nature_n we_o be_v one_o another_o scourge_n we_o be_v scourge_n to_o ourselves_o if_o you_o and_o i_o and_o other_o be_v rather_o sheep_n than_o wolf_n let_v we_o thank_v god_n who_o grace_n it_o be_v let_v we_o clothe_v ourselves_o in_o our_o own_o wool_n short_a pasture_n will_v content_v we_o for_o food_n little_a drink_n more_o than_o the_o dew_n of_o heaven_n thither_o let_v we_o tend_v towards_o he_o who_o mark_n we_o bear_v the_o great_a shepherd_n of_o our_o soul_n let_v wolf_n be_v wolf_n while_o he_o be_v our_o shepherd_n and_o his_o good_a angel_n our_o guard_n we_o be_v safe_a and_o happy_a now_o and_o forever_o let_v the_o wolf_n of_o this_o world_n the_o loup-garrons_a the_o 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mind_n constitute_v happiness_n resemble_v heaven_n where_o soul_n nor_o strife_n nor_o thirst_n of_o action_n find_v reluctancy_n be_v conquer_v all_o go_v even_o virtue_n itself_o untroubled_a must_v proceed_v however_o its_o act_n miscarry_v or_o succeed_v devotion_n et_fw-la quoniam_fw-la deus_fw-la ora_fw-la movet_fw-la sequar_fw-la ora_fw-la moventem_fw-la introduction_n divine_a herbert_n soul_n 162._o deign_v that_o i_o join_v in_o hymn_n accord_v to_o the_o heart_n by_o thou_o unto_o our_o master_n glory_n and_o admit_v i_o for_o a_o rival_n in_o thy_o height_n of_o love_n for_o though_o thy_o lofty_a flight_n be_v far_o above_o my_o creep_a muse_n in_o spirit_n verse_n and_o wit_n my_o love_n both_o may_v and_o aught_o thy_o love_n exceed_v since_o great_a pardon_n great_a love_n do_v breed_v thus_o live_v sing_v we_o swan-like_o sing_v dye_n his_o panegyric_n our_o own_o elegy_n other_o i_o
wonder_v at_o my_o infirmity_n and_o disable_n in_o my_o fortune_n in_o conclusion_n impute_v it_o to_o my_o have_v be_v put_v out_o of_o my_o way_n upon_o what_o ground_n i_o know_v not_o but_o i_o be_o sure_a he_o be_v not_o mistake_v for_o first_o my_o early_a marriage_n in_o a_o short_a fortune_n abate_v the_o edge_n and_o alacrity_n of_o my_o spirit_n next_o the_o course_n and_o conversation_n of_o the_o court_n by_o accident_n make_v unfit_a and_o unfavourable_a to_o i_o have_v enter_v upon_o it_o be_v no_o small_a dejection_n myself_o also_o by_o the_o examination_n and_o test_n of_o discourse_n contradict_v â—â—chewed_v and_o restrain_v my_o natural_a and_o youthful_a inclination_n which_o other_o young_a man_n use_v with_o a_o full_a sail_n to_o give_v way_n to_o and_o uncontrol_o please_v themselves_o amate_v and_o contristate_v my_o mind_n but_o above_o all_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n who_o way_n and_o religion_n be_v opposite_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o consequent_o to_o i_o and_o i_o in_o nature_n bring_v such_o a_o conflict_n upon_o i_o as_o prove_v at_o first_o to_o corrupt_v nature_n ever_o harsh_a and_o perplex_a with_o many_o reluctation_n win_n and_o lose_n of_o ground_n but_o by_o degree_n and_o succession_n of_o grace_n sweet_o recompense_v all_o our_o conflict_n all_o our_o suffering_n good_a god_n how_o sweet_a and_o admirable_a be_v thy_o mercy_n which_o never_o fail_v to_o relieve_v and_o deliver_v they_o who_o persevere_v to_o call_v and_o rely_v upon_o thou_o oh_o the_o tumultuous_a condition_n of_o a_o melancholy_a taint_a mind_n oh_o the_o herculean_a labour_n to_o oppose_v and_o repress_v it_o how_o thought_n impetuous_o like_o hydra_n head_n grow_v upon_o we_o as_o fast_o as_o we_o allay_v and_o cut_v they_o off_o junâ—_n shall_v have_v set_v hercules_n to_o that_o task_n to_o have_v plague_v he_o more_o than_o all_o his_o monster_n all_o his_o labour_n it_o be_v true_o say_v of_o it_o that_o it_o be_v hospitium_fw-la calamitatis_fw-la &_o quamcunque_fw-la rem_fw-la malam_fw-la quares_n illic_fw-la inuenies_fw-la it_o insinuate_v itself_o at_o first_o as_o a_o flatter_a friend_n but_o in_o the_o treacherous_a sweetness_n of_o it_o we_o drown_v and_o lose_v ourselves_o like_o unlucky_a fly_n etc._n etc._n proh_fw-la jupiter_n quantum_fw-la mortalia_fw-la pectora_fw-la caecae_fw-la noctis_fw-la habent_fw-la how_o many_o way_n there_o be_v for_o we_o to_o lose_v ourselves_o in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n and_o how_o many_o miscarry_v before_o they_o understand_v where_o they_o be_v why_o they_o come_v &_o what_o they_o have_v to_o do_v some_o lose_v themselves_o in_o their_o pleasure_n other_o in_o their_o trouble_n some_o find_v unfortunate_a and_o so_o deign_v some_o a_o linger_a ruin_n some_o be_v bear_v to_o â—â—â—re_v some_o to_o stormy_a day_n some_o to_o journey_n with_o the_o windâ—_n in_o their_o back_n some_o in_o their_o face_n if_o fate_n be_v but_o a_o dream_n the_o world_n have_v be_v much_o deceive_v the_o constancy_n of_o it_o in_o some_o man_n fortune_n speak_v it_o more_o to_o the_o christian_a all_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n and_o there_o be_v no_o true_a plaster_n for_o the_o cure_n of_o a_o break_a heart_n a_o break_a fortune_n but_o the_o contemplation_n and_o application_n of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n by_o a_o lively_a faith_n that_o must_v be_v his_o gift_n and_o will_v dispel_v all_o cloud_n storm_n and_o discomfort_n it_o little_o import_v what_o weather_n we_o find_v in_o a_o short_a journey_n so_o we_o attain_v at_o our_o journey_n end_n a_o place_n of_o perdurable_a joy_n and_o comfort_n how_o full_a of_o darkness_n be_v the_o mind_n of_o man_n how_o little_o do_v we_o understand_v and_o how_o little_a be_v we_o able_a to_o make_v use_n without_o god_n grace_n of_o what_o we_o know_v how_o often_o and_o violent_o be_v we_o transport_v as_o it_o be_v against_o our_o will_n against_o our_o knowledge_n how_o obvious_a and_o near_a unto_o we_o be_v thing_n ordinary_o most_o useful_a and_o affect_v which_o yet_o we_o be_v most_o blind_a to_o discern_v at_o our_o need_n such_o be_v our_o frailty_n such_o our_o blindness_n so_o that_o neither_o ear_n eye_n knowledge_n will_n or_o understanding_n be_v far_a available_a than_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o bless_v they_o he_o alone_o it_o be_v that_o give_v the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n and_o without_o he_o the_o will_n be_v uneffectual_a he_o have_v small_a experience_n of_o the_o world_n or_o have_v little_o observe_v himself_o who_o have_v not_o this_o experience_n it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o have_v bless_v i_o with_o some_o understanding_n some_o industry_n and_o some_o holy_a affection_n towards_o he_o all_o have_v fail_v i_o and_o in_o all_o i_o have_v be_v fail_v to_o myself_o yet_o through_o many_o fall_v and_o frailty_n i_o be_o confident_a at_o last_o by_o his_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v attain_v such_o grace_n as_o will_v abide_v with_o i_o to_o my_o eternal_a comfort_n god_n grant_v i_o to_o my_o end_n the_o antidote_n of_o faith_n and_o confidence_n of_o his_o mercy_n in_o christ_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o it_o be_v good_a to_o refer_v ourselves_o to_o god_n who_o best_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o we_o in_o the_o discourse_n of_o death_n i_o fall_v in_o my_o first_o manhood_n to_o affect_v that_o caesaâ—_n kind_n which_o be_v least_o long_o and_o languish_a suppose_v ever_o a_o constant_a preparation_n but_o it_o have_v please_v god_n contrariwise_o that_o i_o have_v spend_v a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o time_n face_v and_o struggle_v with_o seem_v imminent_a death_n so_o far_o have_v i_o be_v from_o enjoy_v the_o pleasure_n and_o contentment_n that_o this_o world_n afford_v to_o other_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o without_o his_o grace_n and_o respect_n to_o he_o my_o resolution_n can_v never_o have_v undergo_v it_o melancholy_n the_o taint_n and_o canker_n of_o our_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n how_o many_o way_n and_o easy_o be_v thou_o contract_v how_o almost_o impossible_a to_o be_v cure_v how_o inevitable_o incident_a to_o many_o yea_o the_o strong_a mind_n especial_o when_o many_o perplexity_n and_o cross_a accident_n do_v at_o once_o assault_v they_o for_o my_o part_n beside_o my_o mischievous_a disease_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n which_o natural_o work_v upon_o the_o mind_n make_v all_o more_o sour_a and_o difficult_a i_o meet_v with_o cross_a ambiguity_n and_o judication_n in_o almost_o all_o that_o concern_v i_o or_o that_o i_o affect_v i_o confess_v that_o which_o now_o more_o torment_v i_o a_o resolution_n and_o course_n may_v have_v be_v take_v to_o have_v prevent_v in_o reason_n the_o unhappiness_n which_o i_o have_v find_v and_o breed_v but_o alas_o i_o be_v nip_v in_o my_o bud_n destitute_a of_o experience_n and_o good_a advice_n meet_v with_o time_n opposite_a and_o such_o a_o disposition_n of_o my_o own_o as_o can_v neither_o abandon_v itself_o to_o pleasure_n nor_o rigid_a enough_o to_o subsist_v profit_v though_o ever_o so_o sensible_a therein_o as_o never_o to_o allow_v myself_o a_o ruinous_a delight_n my_o expense_n have_v never_o the_o ground_n of_o please_v myself_o though_o our_o artificial_a humane_a condition_n be_v full_a of_o ambiguity_n and_o some_o mind_n more_o than_o other_o of_o various_a complexion_n yet_o have_v i_o miss_v my_o disease_n i_o may_v with_o god_n grace_n as_o well_o as_o another_o have_v extricate_v myself_o a_o soul_n hard_o to_o please_v and_o a_o pregnant_a fancy_n be_v of_o the_o most_o troublesome_a guest_n a_o man_n can_v lodge_v i_o have_v at_o length_n learn_v so_o to_o disaffect_v this_o world_n and_o worldly_a pleasure_n that_o by_o god_n grace_n i_o be_o only_o please_v in_o he_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a conquest_n etc._n etc._n august_n 8._o 1637._o man_n certain_o in_o his_o natural_n as_o more_o abound_v in_o fancy_n be_v more_o variable_a than_o other_o creature_n yet_o more_o sophisticated_a by_o pleasure_n art_n and_o policy_n by_o religion_n cross_v his_o nature_n cast_v into_o further_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n difficulty_n and_o disproportion_n in_o his_o condition_n and_o fortune_n with_o respect_n to_o his_o quality_n and_o engagement_n aggravate_v and_o intricate_a he_o often_o more_o but_o when_o a_o root_v melancholy_a once_o seize_v he_o as_o by_o many_o accident_n as_o well_o as_o natural_o it_o often_o do_v then_o to_o disentangle_a from_o the_o cross_a consideration_n incident_a to_o a_o perverse_a fortune_n will_v trouble_v a_o strong_a mind_n nay_o so_o hard_o be_v it_o to_o reconcile_v the_o inconvenience_n to_o find_v and_o take_v the_o best_a in_o the_o course_n of_o the_o world_n that_o the_o strong_a and_o large_a the_o mind_n be_v which_o be_v to_o choose_v the_o hard_a it_o find_v it_o to_o please_v itself_o and_o the_o
especial_o of_o nature_n course_n and_o proceed_n their_o true_a and_o real_a motive_n spring_n and_o way_n be_v in_o most_o important_a effect_n secret_a conceal_v and_o disguise_v ordinary_o hide_v in_o their_o original_n even_o from_o ourselves_o that_o act_n we_o may_v take_v copy_n of_o other_o face_n but_o not_o of_o their_o heart_n with_o any_o assurance_n it_o have_v be_v a_o honest_a advice_n to_o keep_v a_o corner_n of_o our_o heart_n to_o ourselves_o and_o if_o a_o honest_a heart_n ought_v not_o in_o point_n of_o discretion_n to_o expose_v itself_o what_o truth_n be_v to_o be_v expect_v from_o hypocrisy_n and_o dissimulation_n one_o absurdity_n admit_v a_o thousand_o follow_v and_o to_o the_o foundation_n of_o my_o disease_n lay_v in_o the_o excess_n of_o treacle_n infinite_a have_v be_v the_o effect_n and_o my_o suffering_n which_o have_v fly_v from_o that_o and_o other_o concur_v circumstance_n i_o have_v at_o the_o entrance_n of_o my_o alteration_n be_v ready_a to_o sink_v at_o the_o table_n i_o have_v many_o year_n since_o travail_v and_o sleep_v with_o cordial_n at_o hand_n to_o keep_v i_o alive_a nor_o leave_v i_o they_o till_o a_o hearty_a friend_n tell_v i_o the_o heart_n must_v comfort_v the_o heart_n which_o yet_o be_v lame_a and_o ineffectual_a in_o my_o strong_a resolution_n till_o i_o have_v recourse_n to_o god_n the_o only_a true_a spirit_n of_o courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o a_o curious_a and_o well-affected_a mind_n and_o a_o weather-beaten_a soul_n there_o be_v no_o other_o refuge_n or_o harbour_n of_o safety_n satisfaction_n and_o tranquillity_n there_o be_v climate_n where_o it_o seldom_o or_o never_o rain_v other_o which_o cloud_n malusque_fw-la jupiter_n urgent_a in_o one_o and_o the_o same_o country_n where_o the_o earth_n and_o heaven_n in_o their_o constant_a season_n shall_v be_v as_o constant_o dispose_v yet_o do_v the_o same_o time_n of_o the_o year_n prove_v sometime_o cold_a and_o wet_a sometime_o hot_a and_o dry_a the_o material_n and_o circumstance_n appear_v the_o same_o this_o must_v rise_v from_o secret_a spring_n and_o combination_n above_o the_o reach_n of_o our_o discourse_n the_o same_o diversity_n and_o contrariety_n of_o effect_n befall_v man_n in_o their_o fortune_n howsoever_o in_o appearance_n equal_o constitute_v god_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o cause_n he_o have_v in_o all_o time_n and_o country_n provide_v wonder_n above_o the_o ordinary_a course_n of_o nature_n to_o humble_a and_o convince_v our_o humane_a presumption_n i_o have_v a_o body_n and_o a_o mind_n so_o strong_o build_v that_o have_v not_o my_o spiritual_a and_o intellectual_a part_n predominate_v in_o i_o to_o withdraw_v i_o from_o a_o base_a vulgar_a abandon_v myself_o to_o sensuality_n no_o man_n in_o probability_n can_v better_o have_v subsist_v and_o maintain_v himself_o against_o ordinary_a course_n of_o dissolution_n and_o debauch_n i_o have_v a_o spirit_n natural_o temper_v to_o contain_v and_o contract_v itself_o above_o all_o excess_n but_o it_o be_v own_o and_o even_o that_o as_o well_o as_o another_o it_o may_v have_v bridle_v have_v not_o melancholy_a and_o other_o adverse_a condition_n surprise_v and_o master_v it_o betray_v unto_o they_o under_o colour_n of_o friendship_n the_o blood_n be_v say_v to_o be_v the_o bridle_n of_o all_o humour_n that_o i_o lose_v and_o much_o of_o my_o good_a â—_z with_o it_o in_o the_o conflict_n but_o god_n have_v prove_v a_o better_a bridle_n a_o better_a spirit_n unto_o i_o innocent_a and_o groundless_a blush_n proceed_v from_o the_o tenuity_n and_o waste_n of_o my_o blood_n and_o spirit_n have_v be_v none_o of_o my_o least_o importune_a and_o prejudicial_a symptom_n such_o weakness_n join_v with_o a_o strong_a fancy_n have_v make_v i_o subject_a to_o blush_v not_o only_o to_o myself_o alone_o but_o upon_o any_o surprise_n of_o mention_n and_o conceit_n not_o only_o upon_o any_o real_a occasion_n but_o upon_o what_o there_o may_v be_v so_o much_o as_o a_o possibility_n of_o in_o the_o apprehension_n of_o another_o i_o have_v take_v myself_o blush_v at_o the_o appear_a or_o name_n of_o a_o woman_n who_o have_v she_o be_v eve_n and_o i_o adam_n the_o humane_a race_n will_v have_v be_v in_o great_a danger_n of_o fail_v at_o length_n custom_n and_o comply_v with_o a_o conceit_a expectation_n of_o other_o produce_v it_o etc._n etc._n god_n have_v by_o his_o extraordinary_a grace_n upon_o my_o humiliation_n furnish_v i_o with_o as_o strange_a mean_n to_o subsist_v as_o i_o at_o the_o first_o find_v extravagant_a mean_n to_o keep_v low_a and_o oppress_v myself_o in_o the_o depth_n of_o melancholy_a i_o have_v not_o find_v so_o much_o as_o a_o melancholy_a dream_n my_o spirit_n have_v take_v root_n from_o above_o and_o have_v grow_v upon_o it_o long_o since_o after_o a_o great_a disease_n i_o have_v such_o a_o tenderness_n of_o spirit_n and_o humour_n that_o a_o thick_a cloud_n can_v not_o pass_v over_o i_o but_o i_o feel_v a_o alteration_n upon_o it_o it_o be_v strange_a how_o a_o transient_a thought_n will_v work_v and_o give_v a_o sudden_a stroke_n to_o a_o remote_a and_o ill-affected_a weaken_a part_n of_o the_o body_n the_o mind_n work_v not_o alone_o by_o the_o heart_n and_o brain_n as_o be_v vulgar_o conceive_v but_o the_o praecordia_fw-la and_o all_o part_n more_o or_o less_o contribute_v and_o be_v affect_v therein_o and_o god_n have_v bless_v i_o with_o a_o mind_n so_o strong_a that_o it_o ever_o discharge_v itself_o in_o its_o passion_n and_o error_n more_o in_o my_o body_n then_o its_o own_o suffering_n but_o they_o be_v still_o hypocrates_n his_o twin_n and_o must_v weep_v or_o laugh_v together_o i_o have_v now_o disburden_v myself_o of_o all_o trouble_n but_o this_o of_o writing_n i_o be_o too_o inexhaustible_a therein_o weary_a i_o it_o do_v satisfy_v i_o it_o can_v i_o will_v change_v the_o scene_n and_o see_v i_o find_v myself_o so_o ill_a a_o companion_n i_o will_v seek_v better_a company_n i_o have_v ever_o be_v overhard_a to_o please_v in_o conversation_n my_o present_a affection_n and_o habit_n make_v i_o now_o more_o dainty_a what_o shall_v i_o do_v i_o have_v by_o god_n great_a grace_n recover_v in_o great_a part_n those_o jewel_n of_o peace_n and_o health_n which_o i_o have_v long_o lose_v therefore_o i_o will_v no_o long_o rake_v in_o this_o puddle_n nor_o abuse_v his_o grace_n in_o overbold_a and_o indiscreet_a presumption_n like_o the_o stranger_n belong_v to_o another_o country_n i_o will_v transitory_o please_v myself_o and_o converse_v with_o the_o common_a passion_n and_o interest_n of_o this_o world_n i_o will_v spend_v my_o time_n in_o search_n of_o goodness_n and_o will_v make_v much_o of_o it_o where_o i_o find_v it_o i_o will_v wash_v my_o hand_n in_o innocency_n my_o soul_n in_o my_o saviour_n blood_n and_o wrap_v myself_o in_o my_o own_o virtue_n and_o his_o merit_n rely_v on_o his_o neverfailing_a mercy_n amen_n amen_n march_n 1._o 1637._o though_o friend_n be_v absent_a conversation_n lose_v my_o bating_n soul_n oft_o labour_v in_o itself_o by_o wind_n and_o fortune_n on_o the_o black_a sea_n toss_v thou_o present_v lord_n i_o fear_v nor_o wave_n nor_o shelf_n thou_o father_n brother_n art_n and_o friend_n to_o i_o be_v the_o world_n who_o it_o list_v so_o thou_o be_v i_o they_o never_o miscarry_v who_o rely_v on_o thou_o grace_n storm_n dispell_n more_o strong_a than_o they_o combine_v all_o thrive_v where_o thou_o the_o prune_a gardener_n be_v to_o thy_o plant_n blast_n frugal_a blessing_n prove_v though_o summer_n height_n and_o flourish_a impart_v winter_n give_v strength_n and_o timber_n to_o the_o grove_n to_o thou_o all_o suffering_n end_v in_o joy_n and_o rest_n and_o the_o absence_n of_o a_o wicked_a world_n be_v best_a force_a delight_n and_o contentment_n be_v no_o delight_n or_o contentment_n dispose_v oh_o lord_n my_o affection_n and_o i_o be_o happy_a until_o i_o have_v digest_v the_o tough_a morsel_n and_o crudity_n of_o this_o world_n i_o can_v never_o have_v have_v peace_n and_o quiet_a jockey_n and_o his_o horse_n be_v by_o their_o master_n send_v to_o honour_v he_o in_o hunt_v run_z and_o race_n to_o put_v in_o for_o the_o bell_n and_o take_v content_a in_o honest_a sort_n fit_v fair_a time_n and_o place_n in_o pride_n of_o nature_n fit_a for_o any_o sport_n jolly_a and_o lusty_a both_o at_o first_o they_o be_v but_o short_o after_o both_o of_o they_o fall_v short_a what_o by_o mischance_n by_o ill-advise_a and_o care_n soon_o he_o become_v engage_v to_o a_o match_n which_o cost_v he_o dear_a both_o on_o the_o by_o and_o main_a he_o think_v himself_o no_o easy_a piece_n to_o catch_v but_o know_v not_o to_o resist_v so_o strong_a a_o train_n he_o now_o conject_v he_o can_v not_o hope_v to_o win_v except_o his_o horse_n be_v straight_o diet_v such_o course_n