Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	caesar_n	great_a	pompey_n	781	5	11.2029	5	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A32734	Of wisdom three books / written originally in French by the Sieur de Charron ; with an account of the author, made English by George Stanhope ...; De la sagesse. English	Charron, Pierre, 1541-1603.; Stanhope, George, 1660-1728.	1697 (1697)	Wing C3720; ESTC R2811	887,440	1,314

Passions in their Conversation but carry themselves Modestly and Decently and reserve their Warmth for times of Action or 'till some very just Occasion happens to call for it They should not be Pert nor Forward nor Officiously thrust themselves upon Business till they are required and in some measure importuned nay compelled to it For in such Circumstances no Man can be active without Odium and therefore it is sufficient that we obey our Call and follow Duty without being so eager as to run before it and start of our own accord But when we are called and must act then we should take Care to render the Execution of our Duty as little invidious as may be to do all with such Temper and Tenderness that the Storm may fly over our Heads and no angry Resentments or infamous Reflections remain behind never inflaming or in any Degree encouraging much less allowing our selves in the Commission of those abominable Outrages and Insolences usual upon such Occasions but employing our utmost endeavour to mollisie and sweeten Men to divert them from Injurious and Disorderly Methods and by all imaginable Arts trying to elude and break all Designs of this Nature Those who have not declared themselves openly by actually engaging in any Party whose Circumstances with regard to the Easiness and Tranquility of them are without doubt much to be preferred before the former Those I say who have given the World no visible and authentick Testimony of their Affections to one or other Party though at the same time they may in their Own Breasts be much more inclined and wish better to the one than the other ought not to continue in a State of absolute Neutrality My Meaning is that they should not express a perfect Indifference how Matters go and have no Sollicitude beyond their own private Affairs for This is to sit like Spectators at a Play-House and entertain themselves with the Tragical Misfortunes of other People which is a Coldness highly Criminal where the Peace and Welfare of our Country lie at Stake Such regardless Men as these are justly detested by all Sides and if their own Personal Safety be what they aim at the Imagination is very vain for no sort of People run a greater Risque nor are worse treated than They. We see what was the Fate of Thebes in the War with Xerxes Judg. 21.8 and of the Inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead in the time of the Israclitish Judges Livy hath observed very justly to this Purpose that * Neutralitas nec Amicos parit nec Inimicos tollit Neutrality never makes one Friend the more nor one Enemy the less It is indeed neither just nor becoming and can never look well or be so except with Allowance of the Parties concerned We see therefore what different Measures the Two great Roman Generals took in this Respect Caesar declared that he took it for granted all that stood Neuter were His Friends Pompey declared he looked upon all such as His Enemies In a Stranger indeed this is very allowable for he is under no Obligation to meddle in the Concerns of a Country that is none of his own and so it is likewise in Persons whose Eminent Character and Quality may make it beneath them to become Parties in such Differences which they ought rather to be adressed to us Umpires and Mediators to determine Nor may Men much less indeed may they shew themselves sickle and inconstant sometimes on one side and sometimes on the other changing their Shape like Proteus and in the worst Sense of the Words becoming All things to all Men. These are Mungrels and as such an odious and despicable Breed worse than the former who continue in a State of Neutrality and more offensive to All while they make it their Business to please and be more agreeable to All. For every man ought to act upon Principles and to stick to something But though Men ought to incline to one side in their Wishes and Affections because Wishes and Affections are entirely our own yet in their Actions and Deportment the Case is otherwise these are what others have some Right and Interest in and therefore so far as relates to Conversation these ought to be extended to all Parties in Common There is a Title antecedent to all these accidental Differences and Divisions which they cannot disannul and therefore we are bound to be offensive injurious rude and unconversable to none but to do Offices of Kindness and Courtesie and common Humanity to every Body notwithstanding any Contrariety of Interests and Opinions And thus far at least all should agree to lament and as much as in them lies to heal the publick Breaches and Misfortunes Such Persons secure themselves from all the Inconveniences mentioned before they create no new Enemies and they lose none of their old Friends These are Persons of a Temper fit to be employed as Mediators and the most likely of any to succeed in bringing Matters to a fair and amicable Composition which Those who endeavour do yet better and are more serviceable than They who content themselves with Expressions of Courtesie and common Friendship to Men of all Parties indifferently So then It appears upon the whole Matter that there may be Four sorts of Persons who are not actually engag'd in any Party Two of which are Blameable and these are the Neuters or Indifferent and the Veering or Unsteady the other Two are useful and commendable and These are the Conversable or Courteous to All without Distinction and the Mediators in Order to Agreement But still in each of these Kinds One exceeds the other the Inconstant Man exceeds in Blame above the Neuter and the Mediator in Merit and Commendation above the Common Friend Of those that declare and act openly there are likewise Two sorts with the same Differences the Eager and Violent and the Moderate and Well-Temper'd SECT XIII Of Private Differences and Disorders IT may very reasonably be expected that I should not dismiss this Head of Prudence without speaking to one very frequent Difficulty more which is How Men ought to behave themselves in the Quarrels or Misunderstandings of private Persons and particular Families And here One is to consider both what is most convenient for his own Affairs and what can in reason be expected from him If the Persons thus at Enmity be such as have no indispensable Tie upon him he may very fairly keep in with them both and tho' perhaps he cannot love or approve of both alike yet he may and will do well to be obliging and kind to both and give just Offence to neither It is great Imprudence in these Cases to engage so far with One Side that they shall expect to have us entirely to themselves and think us bound in Honour and Friendship to espouse all their Interests and make all their Resentments our own And therefore the better way will be to keep upon the Reserve to be content with a moderate Share

the same Materials a Transcript of the same Original For † Nihil tam secundum Naturam quam juvare consortem Naturae nothing is so agreable to the Dictates of Nature as to assist one who is a Partaker of the same Nature It is a Generous and Noble Act worthy a Person of Honour and Virtue to be useful and beneficial to others to embrace and improve nay to seek Opportunities of being so For the ⁂ Liberalis etiam dandi causas quaerit Liberal Man does not content himself with taking them when they come in his Way but he goes out to meet and takes Pains to find them And it is an old Adage that Truly Noble Blood will neither let a Man tell a Lye nor be wanting good Offices where they are Seasonable There is somewhat of Greatness and commendable Pride in doing Kindnesses as there is of Meanness in having them done to us and this may be one convenient Sense of that Saying which St. Paul ascribes to our Saviour It is more Blessed to give than to receive He that gives gets himself Honour and gains an Advantage he becomes Master of the Receiver and acquires a Right in him as on the other hand the Receiver sells his Freedom and is no longer at his own disposal The First Inventer of Good Offices says one with Ingenuity enough contrived the strongest Fetters that ever were to bind and captivate Mankind Upon this Account several People have refused to accept of Kindnesses because they would not suffer their Liberty to be entrenched upon and particularly if the Person conferring the Favour were one whom they had no Kindness for and did not care to be obliged to For which Reason it is that the old Philosophers forbid us to receive any Kindnesses from ill Men because in so doing we let them get a Hank upon us Caesar used to say that no Musick was so charming in his Ears as the Requests of his Friends and the Supplications of those in want The Motto of Greatness is Ask me And that Command and Promise gives us a Noble Idea of the Majesty of God Call upon me in the time of Trouble Psal l. 15. so will I hoar thee and thou shalt glorifie me This is likewise the most Honourable way of employing our Power and Plenty which while we keep by us and in our own private Possession are called by the mean Names of Houses and Lands and Money but when drawn out into Use and expended to the Benefit of our Brethren they are dignified with new and August Titles and from thenceforth commence Good Actions Liberality Magnificence Alms and Treasures in Heaven Nay it is not only the most Honourable but the most prudent and profitable Method of trafficking with them * Ars quaestuosissima optima Negotiatio the gainfullest of all Arts the best and least hazardous Way of Merchandise for here the Principal is secured and the Interest arising upon it rises exceeding high And to say the very truth no part of what we have is so properly our Own none turns to such a prodigious Increase so comfortable Account as that which we expend upon good Uses What lies by us is lock'd up and hid privately it lies and wasts or at least it never grows upon our Hands and it is sure to give us the Slip at last either by some of those infinite Accidents by which all such Things are liable to be snatch'd from Us or by that certain and inevitable Separation by which Death will shortly snarch Us away from Them But so much of these as is thus put out can never fail never be wrested from us never rust or decay or lie buried in Unprofitableness Hence it was that Mark Anthony when deprest and at an Ebb of Fortune so low that he had nothing but Death lest at his own Disposal cryed out that * Hoc habeo quodcunque dedi he had lost All except what he had given away And thus you see what a brave and noble and becoming Temper this Compassionate and good Natured Frame of Soul is how worthily a ready Inclination to do Good to all the World attracts the Love and Admiration of all that consider it How Amiable and Engaging how Powerful and Irresistible the Charms of Generosity are As indeed on the other Hand nothing is so Mean and Sneaking so Detestable and Despicable so Deformed and Unnatural as Hard-heartedness and Insensibility of other Peoples Misfortunes It is therefore deservedly styled Inhumanity to intimate by that Name that such People are Monsters and not Men. And as the Vices themselves so the Source and Causes of them stand in direct Opposition to each other For as Beneficence springs from Greatness and Gallantry of Spirit so unreasonable Parsimony and Hard-heartedness is the Spawn of Cowardice and Brutish Degeneracy of Soul Now there are two ways of becoming Beneficial to our Neighbours either as we minister to their Profit Several sorts of it or to their Pleasure The First procures us Admiration and Esteem the Second Love and good Will The First is much more valuable because it regards Mens Necessities and Distresses it is acting the Part of a Tender Father and a True Friend There is likewise a Difference in these Acts of Kindness themselves Some are due from us such as the Laws of Nature or positive Institution require at our Hands Others are free and what we are under no express Obligation for but the Effect of pure Choice and Love The Latter of these Two sorts seem to be more Brave and Generous But yet the Former too when discharged with Application and Prudence and sincere Affection are very Excellent and Commendable though they have the Nature of a Debt and are such as we cannot be faithful to our Duty and dispense with our selves in Now the true Beneficence or Kindness is not properly in the Gift it self Internal and External that which a Man sees and feels and tasts this is too gross a Notion and all we that can allow is that These are the Matter the Signs and the Demonstrations of our Kindness but the Thing it self is the Disposition and good Heart The Outward and visible part may be very small and inconsiderable and yet that within may at the same time be wondrous great For This may have proceeded from an exceeding Eagerness and Affection a hunger and thirst of doing good watching and contriving and seeking Occasions for it and esteeming such Actions in our Saviour's Terms One's Meat and Drink snatching them as greedily and receiving as sensible a Satisfaction and Delight from them as from the most necessary Refreshments by which this Life of ours is sustain'd A Man may have given to the very utmost of his Ability and by this means exhaust that little Store which is scarce sufficient for his own Occasions or he may part with that which is particularly valuable and dear to him These are the Considerations that enhanced the