and_o passion_n under_o a_o constant_a watch_n and_o obedience_n to_o god_n and_o know_v first_o whether_o god_n command_v they_o and_o allow_v they_o §_o 7._o and_o this_o history_n may_v teach_v we_o that_o though_o god_n usual_o begin_v as_o be_v say_v our_o conversion_n in_o fear_n and_o penitent_a sorrow_n it_o be_v holy_a and_o heavenly_a joy_n which_o it_o tend_v to_o as_o more_o desirable_a and_o we_o shall_v chief_o seek_v and_o shall_v labour_v to_o moderate_a fear_n and_o sorrow_n and_o not_o think_v we_o can_v never_o have_v enough_o it_o be_v too_o common_a a_o error_n with_o honest_a soul_n to_o think_v that_o a_o hard_a heart_n lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n when_o as_o it_o lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o a_o tractable_a compliance_n and_o yield_v to_o the_o command_n and_o will_v of_o god_n and_o in_o a_o iron_n neck_n and_o obstinate_a disobedience_n to_o god_n and_o to_o think_v that_o a_o new_a and_o tender_a heart_n be_v principal_o a_o heart_n that_o can_v weep_v and_o mourn_v when_o it_o be_v chief_o a_o heart_n that_o easy_o receive_v all_o the_o impression_n of_o god_n command_n and_o promise_n and_o threat_n and_o easy_o yield_v to_o his_o know_a will_n §_o 8._o and_o this_o may_v great_o warn_v we_o to_o fear_v and_o avoid_v self-willedness_a i_o mean_v a_o will_n of_o our_o own_o that_o run_v before_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o be_v too_o much_o set_v on_o any_o thing_n which_o god_n have_v not_o promise_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o bear_v a_o frustration_n or_o denial_n but_o say_v as_o rachel_n give_v it_o i_o or_o i_o die_v we_o must_v learn_v to_o follow_v and_o not_o to_o lead_v and_o to_o say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v not_o my_o lord_n but_o thou_o and_o in_o every_o estate_n to_o be_v content_a there_o be_v no_o rest_n but_o in_o god_n will_n §_o 9_o yet_o this_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n deal_v better_a with_o his_o weak_a servant_n than_o they_o deserve_v and_o turn_v that_o oft_o time_n to_o their_o good_a which_o they_o deserve_v shall_v have_v be_v their_o great_a suffering_n §_o 10._o this_o history_n and_o my_o great_a experience_n say_v that_o there_o be_v a_o friend_n that_o stick_v close_a than_o a_o brother_n prov._n 18._o 24._o and_o that_o it_o be_v god_n spirit_n that_o say_v prov._n 27._o 10._o thy_o own_o friend_n and_o thy_o father_n friend_n forsake_v not_o neither_o go_v into_o thy_o brother_n house_n in_o the_o day_n of_o thy_o calamity_n for_o better_a be_v a_o neighbour_n that_o be_v near_o than_o a_o brother_n that_o be_v far_o off_o §_o 11._o this_o history_n tell_v we_o how_o great_a a_o mercy_n it_o be_v to_o have_v a_o body_n meet_v to_o serve_v the_o soul_n and_o how_o great_a a_o affliction_n to_o have_v a_o unruly_a inclination_n from_o the_o body_n temper_n and_o what_o a_o tyrant_n excessive_a fear_n be_v and_o how_o great_a a_o blessing_n it_o be_v to_o have_v such_o a_o passion_n as_o faith_n can_v rule_v and_o easy_o quiet_a §_o 12._o it_o tell_v you_o also_o how_o manifold_a temptation_n and_o affliction_n god_n servant_n be_v liable_a to_o in_o this_o life_n §_o 13._o and_o it_o tell_v you_o that_o our_o great_a good_a or_o evil_n be_v near_a we_o next_o god_n the_o best_a be_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o there_o be_v the_o worst_a and_o next_o in_o our_o body_n and_o next_o in_o our_o near_a friend_n and_o it_o may_v teach_v all_o to_o expect_v their_o great_a sorrow_n from_o those_o or_o that_o which_o they_o most_o excessive_o love_v and_o from_o who_o they_o have_v the_o high_a expectation_n only_a god_n can_v be_v love_v more_o than_o he_o deserve_v sorrow_n begin_v in_o inordinate_a love_n and_o joy_n in_o good_a §_o 14._o and_o it_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n service_n lie_v more_o in_o deed_n than_o in_o word_n my_o dear_a wife_n be_v faulty_a indeed_o in_o talk_v so_o little_a of_o religion_n in_o company_n expect_v it_o be_v unresistible_o to_o confute_v in_o few_o word_n a_o opposer_n or_o revile_a of_o religion_n but_o her_o religion_n lie_v in_o do_v more_o than_o talk_v §_o 15._o yet_o her_o example_n tell_v we_o that_o it_o be_v one_o of_o satan_n wile_n to_o draw_v we_o to_o one_o sin_n to_o avoid_v another_o and_o to_o make_v we_o think_v that_o nothing_o be_v a_o due_a that_o have_v great_a inconvenience_n or_o which_o we_o can_v foresee_v some_o man_n will_v receive_v hurt_v from_o and_o so_o to_o be_v unrighteous_a by_o be_v righteous_a overmuch_o and_o leave_n much_o undo_v for_o fear_n of_o do_v it_o amiss_o by_o which_o rule_n we_o shall_v scarce_o ever_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o god_n command_v he_o that_o observe_v the_o wind_n shall_v not_o sow_v and_o he_o that_o regard_v the_o cloud_n shall_v not_o reap_v eccles._n 11._o 4._o i_o speak_v this_o on_o she_o at_o last_o confess_v error_n of_o omit_v seasonable_a speech_n and_o duty_n to_o avoid_v hypocrisy_n and_o ostentation_n which_o my_o great_a friend_n judge_n hale_n be_v just_a so_o guilty_a of_o as_o i_o know_v and_o the_o writer_n of_o his_o life_n confess_v he_o will_v make_v no_o great_a show_n of_o zeal_n in_o religion_n lest_o if_o he_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o religion_n shall_v be_v reproach_v for_o his_o sake_n cardinal_n ricâ—lieu_n be_v wont_a to_o say_v as_o be_v write_v of_o he_o that_o he_o hate_v no_o counsellor_n more_o than_o those_o that_o be_v always_o say_v let_v we_o do_v it_o better_o by_o that_o hinder_v the_o do_v of_o much_o at_o all_o §_o 16._o you_o see_v here_o that_o suitableness_n in_o religious_a judgement_n and_o disposition_n preserve_v fast_a love_n and_o concord_n as_o it_o do_v with_o we_o than_o suitableness_n in_o age_n education_n and_o wealth_n but_o yet_o those_o shall_v not_o be_v imprudent_o neglect_v nothing_o cause_v so_o near_o and_o fast_o and_o comfortable_a a_o union_n as_o to_o be_v unite_v in_o one_o god_n one_o christ_n one_o spirit_n one_o faith_n one_o church_n one_o hope_n of_o heavenly_a glory_n yet_o accidental_a unsuitableness_n shall_v be_v avoid_v as_o far_o as_o may_v be_v §_o 17._o there_o be_v some_o great_a man_n who_o know_v their_o own_o name_n who_o as_o i_o have_v most_o credible_a information_n have_v to_o great_a than_o themselves_o represent_v i_o not_o only_o as_o covetous_a but_o as_o mutable_a for_o my_o marriage_n to_o who_o i_o now_o give_v this_o satisfaction_n 1._o as_o to_o covetousness_n my_o vindication_n be_v a_o matter_n unfit_a for_o the_o ear_n of_o the_o world_n if_o reverend_a man_n backbiting_n the_o same_o that_o trouble_v our_o common_a peace_n do_v not_o make_v it_o partly_o necessary_a through_o god_n mercy_n and_o her_o prudent_a care_n i_o live_v in_o plenty_n and_o so_o do_v still_o though_o not_o without_o be_v great_o behold_v to_o divers_a friend_n and_o i_o be_o not_o poor_a than_o when_o i_o marry_v but_o it_o be_v not_o by_o marriage_n nor_o by_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v she_o before_o 2._o and_o as_o to_o my_o mutability_n whereas_o one_o of_o they_o report_n that_o i_o say_v to_o he_o that_o i_o think_v the_o marriage_n of_o minister_n have_v so_o great_a inconvenience_n that_o though_o necessity_n make_v it_o lawful_a yet_o it_o be_v but_o lawful_a that_o be_v to_o be_v avoid_v as_o far_o as_o lawful_o we_o may_v i_o answer_v that_o i_o do_v say_v so_o to_o he_o and_o i_o never_o change_v my_o judgement_n yea_o my_o wife_n live_v and_o die_v in_o the_o same_o mind_n and_o i_o here_o free_o advise_v all_o minister_n that_o have_v not_o some_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o think_v of_o these_o few_o reason_n among_o many_o 1._o the_o work_n of_o the_o sacred_a ministry_n be_v enough_o to_o take_v up_o the_o whole_a man_n if_o he_o have_v the_o strength_n and_o part_n of_o many_o man_n o_o how_o much_o be_v there_o to_o do_v oftentimes_o with_o one_o ignorant_a or_o scandalous_a or_o sad_a despair_a soul_n and_o who_o be_v sufficient_a for_o all_o that_o be_v to_o be_v do_v to_o hundred_o or_o thousand_o in_o the_o primitive_a church_n every_o congregation_n have_v many_o minister_n but_o covetousness_n of_o clergy_n and_o people_n will_v now_o scarce_o allow_v two_o to_o very_o great_a parish_n i_o do_v not_o marry_v till_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o eject_v and_o have_v no_o flock_n or_o pastoral_n cure_n believe_v it_o he_o that_o will_v have_v a_o wife_n must_v spend_v much_o of_o his_o time_n in_o conference_n prayer_n and_o other_o family-duty_n with_o she_o and_o if_o he_o have_v child_n o_o how_o much_o care_n time_n and_o labour_n will_v they_o require_v i_o know_v it_o though_o i_o have_v none_o and_o he_o that_o have_v servant_n must_v spend_v time_n in_o teach_v they_o and_o in_o other_o
and_o trouble_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o well_o it_o may_v be_v so_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o this_o day_n have_v be_v very_o great_a my_o heart_n have_v not_o answer_v the_o expression_n of_o thanks_o which_o have_v be_v utter_v by_o the_o mouth_n of_o those_o that_o speak_v they_o to_o god_n no_o no_o my_o heart_n have_v not_o stir_v and_o be_v draw_v out_o towards_o my_o god_n the_o thought_n of_o his_o love_n have_v not_o ravish_v my_o soul_n alas_o i_o scarce_o feel_v any_o holy_a spark_n to_o warm_v my_o soul_n this_o day_n this_o day_n which_o be_v a_o day_n of_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o any_o in_o all_o my_o life_n the_o day_n in_o which_o i_o have_v have_v a_o opportunity_n to_o give_v thanks_o for_o all_o the_o mercy_n of_o my_o life_n and_o thanks_o itself_o be_v a_o great_a mercy_n than_o the_o rest_n all_o other_o mercy_n be_v to_o prepare_v for_o this_o this_o be_v the_o work_n of_o a_o glorify_a saint_n even_o a_o saint_n in_o heaven_n before_o the_o bless_a face_n of_o god_n it_o be_v his_o everlasting_a business_n to_o sing_v the_o song_n of_o thanksgiving_n and_o praise_n to_o the_o most_o high_a but_o my_o thought_n have_v not_o be_v fill_v with_o the_o sweet_a foreta_v of_o this_o bless_a work_n which_o i_o may_v have_v have_v this_o day_n o_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o forgive_v my_o sin_n and_o lay_v not_o my_o deadness_n to_o my_o charge_n but_o overlook_v all_o my_o transgression_n and_o look_v on_o i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n my_o saviour_n i_o be_o thou_o lord_n and_o not_o my_o own_o this_o day_n i_o have_v under_o my_o hand_n and_o seal_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o witness_n nay_o in_o thy_o own_o presence_n who_o art_n witness_v sufficient_a be_v there_o no_o eye_n to_o see_v i_o or_o ear_n to_o hear_v i_o thou_o lord_n that_o know_v all_o thing_n know_v that_o i_o have_v devote_v my_o all_o to_o thou_o take_v it_o and_o accept_v my_o sacrifice_n help_v i_o to_o pay_v my_o vow_n will_v thou_o not_o accept_v i_o because_o i_o do_v it_o not_o more_o sincere_o and_o believe_o o_o lord_n i_o unfeigned_o desire_v to_o do_v it_o aright_o o_o will_v thou_o strengthen_v my_o weak_a desire_n i_o believe_v lord_n help_v my_o unbelief_n thou_o that_o can_v make_v i_o what_o i_o be_o not_o o_o make_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o be_v in_o thou_o there_o be_v all_o fullness_n and_o to_o thou_o i_o desire_v to_o come_v by_o christ._n will_v thou_o now_o cast_v i_o off_o because_o i_o do_v it_o not_o unreserved_o lord_n i_o confess_v the_o devil_n tempt_v and_o the_o flesh_n say_v spare_v something_o what_o let_v all_o go_v and_o i_o find_v in_o i_o a_o carnal_a selfish_a principle_n ready_a to_o close_v with_o the_o temptation_n but_o thou_o can_v prevent_v and_o conquer_v all_o and_o speak_v death_n to_o these_o corruption_n and_o bid_v the_o tempter_n be_v go_v it_o be_v thy_o pleasure_n here_o to_o suffer_v thy_o dear_a child_n to_o be_v tempt_v but_o fuffer_v not_o temptation_n to_o prevail_v against_o thy_o spirit_n and_o grace_n if_o temptation_n be_v like_o a_o torrent_n of_o water_n to_o smother_v quench_v or_o hide_v the_o flame_n yet_o will_v thou_o never_o let_v all_o the_o spark_n of_o thy_o grace_n be_v put_v out_o in_o the_o soul_n where_o once_o thou_o have_v true_o kindle_v it_o but_o lord_n suffer_v not_o such_o flood_n to_o fall_v on_o my_o soul_n where_o the_o spark_n be_v so_o small_a already_o that_o it_o be_v even_o scarce_o discernible_a o_o quicken_v it_o and_o blow_v it_o up_o to_o a_o holy_a flame_n most_o gracious_a god_n o_o do_v it_o here_o who_o have_v do_v it_o for_o many_o a_o soul_n o_o what_o have_v i_o say_v that_o i_o have_v a_o spark_n of_o grace_n why_o the_o least_o spark_n be_v worth_a ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o thanks_o than_o i_o can_v ever_o express_v and_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a and_o unthankful_a as_o be_v before_o confess_v and_o be_v that_o a_o sign_n of_o grace_n unthankful_a dead_a and_o dull_a i_o have_v be_v and_o still_o be_o but_o yet_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v from_o god_n gift_n in_o i_o that_o i_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o and_o that_o this_o day_n i_o have_v desire_v to_o devote_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o that_o i_o can_v say_v i_o will_v be_v more_o holy_a and_o more_o heavenly_a even_o as_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v i_o be_v nay_o i_o do_v know_v the_o time_n when_o i_o have_v none_o of_o these_o desire_n and_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o god_n and_o the_o way_n of_o godliness_n and_o do_v i_o not_o know_v that_o there_o be_v many_o in_o this_o condition_n who_o have_v no_o desire_n after_o christ_n and_o holiness_n here_o then_o be_v matter_n of_o comfort_n give_v i_o from_o he_o that_o do_v accept_v the_o desire_n of_o his_o poor_a creature_n even_o the_o lord_n christ_n who_o will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n i_o see_v then_o that_o i_o have_v yet_o matter_n of_o rejoice_v and_o must_v labour_v to_o be_v so_o humble_v for_o my_o remain_a sin_n as_o may_v tend_v to_o my_o future_a joy_n in_o believe_v but_o not_o so_o as_o to_o be_v discourage_v and_o frighten_v from_o god_n who_o be_v long-suffering_n and_o abundant_a in_o mercy_n rouse_v up_o thyself_o then_o to_o god_n my_o soul_n humble_o but_o believe_o repent_v that_o thou_o have_v be_v so_o unthankful_a and_o insensible_a of_o the_o benefit_n this_o day_n receive_v up_o up_o and_o lie_v not_o down_o so_o heavy_o god_n have_v hear_v prayer_n for_o thou_o and_o give_v thou_o life_n and_o opportunity_n to_o serve_v he_o he_o have_v give_v thou_o all_o the_o outward_a mercy_n thy_o heart_n can_v desire_v he_o have_v give_v thou_o dear_a godly_a able_a friend_n such_o as_o can_v help_v thou_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n yea_o he_o have_v set_v they_o to_o beg_v spiritual_a mercy_n for_o thou_o who_o prevail_v for_o temporal_a for_o thou_o and_o oft_o for_o many_o other_o why_o then_o shall_v thou_o not_o watch_v and_o pray_v and_o wait_v in_o hope_n that_o he_o have_v hear_v their_o prayer_n this_o day_n for_o thy_o soul_n as_o former_o for_o thy_o body_n they_o be_v thing_n command_v of_o god_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o we_o have_v his_o promise_n that_o seek_v we_o shall_v find_v it_o may_v be_v this_o night_n many_o of_o god_n dear_a child_n will_v yet_o pray_v for_o my_o soul_n i_o doubt_v not_o some_o will_n and_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v glad_a of_o such_o advantage_n i_o hear_v this_o day_n that_o i_o must_v not_o forbear_v thanks_o because_o the_o mercy_n be_v yet_o imperfect_a else_o we_o shall_v never_o give_v thanks_o on_o earth_n though_o therefore_o my_o grace_n be_v yet_o but_o a_o spark_n and_o weak_a my_o body_n weak_a my_o heart_n sad_a all_o these_o administer_v matter_n of_o thanks_o and_o praise_n as_o well_o as_o of_o supplication_n let_v i_o therefore_o keep_v close_o to_o both_o they_o be_v the_o life_n of_o my_o life_n while_o i_o live_v here_o and_o have_v daily_a need_n of_o supply_n from_o god_n let_v i_o daily_o be_v with_o he_o and_o live_v as_o in_o his_o presence_n let_v he_o be_v the_o chief_a in_o all_o my_o thought_n my_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o let_v i_o remember_v to_o be_v earnest_a for_o my_o poor_a relation_n and_o dear_a friend_n and_o the_o church_n and_o people_n of_o god_n in_o general_n and_o let_v i_o strive_v to_o keep_v such_o a_o moderate_a sense_n of_o sorrow_n on_o my_o soul_n as_o occasion_n require_v i_o have_v now_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n for_o part_v with_o my_o dear_a friend_n my_o father_n my_o pastor_n he_o be_v by_o providence_n call_v away_o and_o go_v a_o long_a journey_n what_o the_o lord_n will_v do_v with_o he_o i_o can_v foresee_v it_o may_v be_v he_o be_v prepare_v some_o great_a mercy_n for_o we_o and_o for_o his_o praise_n i_o know_v not_o but_o such_o a_o day_n as_o this_o may_v be_v keep_v here_o on_o his_o account_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v for_o he_o be_v wise_a and_o good_a we_o be_v his_o own_o let_v he_o do_v with_o we_o what_o he_o please_v all_o shall_v be_v for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n i_o have_v cause_n to_o be_v humble_v that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unprofitable_a under_o mercy_n and_o mean_n it_o may_v grieve_v i_o now_o he_o be_v go_v that_o there_o be_v so_o little_a that_o come_v from_o he_o leave_v upon_o my_o soul._n o_o let_v this_o quicken_v and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o be_v more_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o remain_a help_n and_o mean_n and_o if_o ever_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v this_o mercy_n again_o o_o let_v i_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o this_o night_n
a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n of_o margaret_z the_o daughter_n of_o francis_n charlton_n of_o apply_v in_o shropshire_n esq_n and_o wife_n of_o richard_n baxter_n for_o the_o use_n of_o all_o but_o especial_o of_o their_o kindred_n there_o be_v also_o publish_v the_o character_n of_o her_o mother_n true_o describe_v in_o her_o publish_a funeral_n sermon_n reprint_v at_o her_o daughter_n request_n call_v the_o last_o work_n of_o a_o believer_n his_o passing-prayer_n recommend_v his_o depart_a spirit_n to_o christ_n to_o be_v receive_v by_o he_o london_n print_v for_o b._n simmons_n at_o the_o three_o golden_a cock_n at_o the_o west-end_n of_o st._n paul_n 1681._o to_o the_o reader_n reader_n god_n have_v call_v away_o to_o his_o bless_a rest_n and_o glory_n the_o spirit_n of_o the_o most_o dear_a companion_n of_o these_o last_o nineteen_o year_n of_o my_o life_n or_o near_o i_o find_v in_o her_o last_o will_v a_o request_n that_o i_o shall_v reprint_v five_o hundred_o of_o her_o 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resistance_n to_o all_o temptation_n and_o to_o the_o faithful_a the_o most_o joyful_a hope_n july_n 23._o 1681._o rich._n baxter_n a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n of_o margaret_n the_o daughter_n of_o francis_n charlton_n esque_n and_o late_a wife_n of_o richard_n baxter_n who_o die_v june_n 14._o 1681._o chap._n i._o her_o parentage_n and_o the_o occasion_n of_o our_o acquaintance_n §_o though_o due_a affection_n make_v i_o willing_a to_o give_v the_o world_n a_o narrative_a which_o else_o i_o have_v omit_v yet_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n have_v not_o so_o forsake_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v willing_o deliver_v any_o falsehood_n through_o partiality_n or_o passion_n but_o as_o i_o know_v more_o of_o this_o person_n than_o any_o other_o for_o the_o good_a of_o the_o reader_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o god_n grace_n in_o she_o i_o shall_v by_o god_n assistance_n true_o report_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o know_v §_o 2._o we_o be_v bear_v in_o the_o same_o county_n within_o three_o mile_n 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of_o no_o understanding_n therefore_o he_o that_o make_v they_o will_v not_o save_v they_o etc._n etc._n the_o doctrine_n of_o conversion_n as_o i_o preach_v it_o as_o now_o in_o my_o treatise_n of_o conversion_n be_v receive_v on_o her_o heart_n as_o the_o seal_n on_o the_o wax_n whereupon_o she_o present_o fall_v to_o self-judging_a and_o to_o frequent_a prayer_n and_o read_v and_o serious_a thought_n of_o her_o present_a state_n and_o her_o salvation_n §_o 2._o a_o religious_a maid_n that_o wait_v on_o she_o take_v king_n notice_n of_o this_o for_o she_o keep_v all_o her_o matter_n so_o secret_a to_o herself_o as_o be_v her_o great_a hurt_n all_o her_o life_n acquaint_v her_o mother_n with_o it_o and_o when_o it_o will_v be_v hide_v no_o long_o but_o her_o frequent_a closet-prayer_n be_v sometime_o overhear_v and_o her_o change_a course_n of_o life_n discern_v her_o mother_n who_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v discern_v before_o love_v her_o least_o of_o her_o three_o child_n begin_v 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i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o neglect_n of_o it_o and_o now_o here_o be_v comfort_n that_o i_o have_v to_o deal_v with_o a_o god_n of_o mercy_n that_o will_v hear_v a_o poor_a repent_a sinner_n a_o god_n that_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o but_o love_v who_o he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n this_o be_v the_o god_n who_o i_o have_v choose_v and_o take_v for_o my_o portion_n the_o same_o god_n be_v his_o god_n his_o guide_n and_o comforter_n the_o whole_a world_n be_v but_o a_o house_n where_o god_n child_n dwell_v a_o little_a while_n till_o he_o have_v fit_v they_o for_o the_o heavenly_a mansion_n and_o if_o he_o send_v they_o out_o of_o one_o room_n into_o another_o to_o do_v his_o work_n and_o try_v their_o obedience_n and_o if_o he_o put_v some_o in_o the_o dark_a corner_n of_o his_o house_n to_o keep_v they_o humble_a though_o he_o separate_v those_o that_o be_v most_o belove_v of_o each_o other_o it_o be_v but_o that_o they_o may_v not_o love_v 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these_o be_v of_o so_o small_a weight_n that_o a_o cross_n like_o you_o will_v weigh_v they_o down_o and_o that_o you_o will_v not_o rejoice_v in_o all_o the_o promise_n of_o life_n eternal_a till_o your_o cross_n be_v remove_v ii_o if_o it_o be_v sin_n it_o be_v either_o past_a or_o present_a if_o past_a why_o do_v you_o not_o repent_v and_o thankful_o accept_v your_o pardon_n if_o present_a it_o be_v inward_a corruption_n or_o outward_a transgression_n which_o ever_o it_o be_v if_o you_o love_v it_o why_o do_v you_o grieve_v for_o it_o and_o groan_v under_o it_o if_o you_o grieve_v for_o it_o why_o be_v you_o not_o willing_a to_o leave_v it_o and_o be_v holy_a if_o you_o be_v willing_a to_o leave_v it_o and_o will_v fain_o have_v god_n grace_n in_o the_o use_n of_o his_o mean_n to_o make_v you_o holy_a this_o be_v the_o true_a nature_n of_o repentance_n and_o why_o then_o be_v you_o not_o thankful_a for_o grace_v receive_v for_o pardon_n adoption_n and_o your_o part_n in_o christ_n 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any_o thing_n be_v perfect_a here_o or_o that_o it_o be_v better_o do_v nothing_o than_o do_v it_o imperfect_o or_o as_o if_o you_o will_v have_v no_o comfort_n till_o you_o can_v perform_v such_o duty_n and_o obedience_n as_o have_v no_o need_n of_o pardon_n and_o a_o saviour_n and_o so_o no_o man_n live_v may_v have_v any_o comfort_n in_o any_o thing_n that_o he_o do_v 2._o that_o when_o unreasonable_a fear_n and_o trouble_n be_v upon_o you_o and_o trouble_v thought_n be_v still_o upon_o your_o mind_n you_o say_v that_o you_o can_v help_v it_o nor_o turn_v your_o thought_n away_o to_o any_o thing_n else_o i_o know_v you_o have_v not_o a_o absolute_a power_n over_o your_o thought_n but_o some_o you_o have_v why_o else_o have_v god_n make_v a_o law_n for_o our_o thought_n and_o lay_v so_o much_o duty_n on_o they_o and_o forbid_v their_o sin_n so_o much_o much_o may_v be_v do_v if_o you_o will_v be_v resolute_a think_v whether_o christ_n come_v from_o the_o father_n to_o bring_v tiding_n of_o sadness_n and_o despair_n or_o of_o great_a joy_n and_o whether_o angel_n preach_v not_o glory_n to_o god_n in_o the_o high_a on_o earth_n peace_n and_o to_o man_n good_a will_n and_o whether_o fatih_n hope_n and_o love_n which_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o christ_n will_v work_v on_o soul_n be_v not_o more_o powerful_a to_o destroy_v your_o sin_n than_o despair_n or_o discouragement_n of_o mind_n and_o because_o you_o complain_v so_o much_o of_o sin_n i_o ask_v you_o why_o do_v not_o your_o conscience_n more_o accuse_v you_o of_o the_o sin_n of_o unthankful_a deny_v or_o extenuate_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o no_o more_o magnify_v they_o and_o for_o overlook_v so_o much_o the_o meritorious_a righteousness_n of_o christ_n while_o you_o complain_v for_o want_v of_o more_o of_o your_o own_o i_o will_v not_o deceive_v you_o by_o tell_v you_o that_o you_o need_v none_o in_o yourself_o and_o that_o all_o your_o righteousness_n be_v out_o of_o you_o in_o christ_n i_o know_v that_o your_o righteousness_n must_v exceed_v that_o of_o the_o pharisee_n and_o the_o unrighteous_a shall_v not_o inherit_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o that_o he_o that_o do_v righteousness_n be_v righteous_a but_o at_o what_o bar_n or_o tribunal_n only_o at_o that_o of_o grace_n which_o suppose_v the_o reconcile_a pardon_v righteousness_n of_o christ_n it_o be_v not_o at_o the_o bar_n of_o rigorous_a justice_n according_a to_o the_o law_n which_o require_v innocence_n to_o justification_n there_o christ_n only_o be_v your_o righteousness_n and_o you_o have_v none_o and_o must_v dream_v of_o none_o but_o that_o which_o flow_v from_o his_o and_o stand_v in_o subordination_n to_o it_o and_o be_v your_o title_n to_o it_o and_o improvement_n of_o it_o even_o your_o thankful_a accept_v a_o free-given_a saviour_n head_n and_o lord_n and_o pardon_v and_o the_o spirit_n to_o sanctify_v you_o more_o and_o fit_v you_o for_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o for_o glory_n esteem_v most_o 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god_n have_v call_v you_o to_o to_o honour_v his_o grace_n and_o propagate_v to_o all_o about_o you_o as_o you_o be_v able_a a_o joyful_a thankful_a hope_v and_o praise_v frame_n of_o soul_n and_o to_o stir_v up_o all_o to_o the_o delightful_a praise_n of_o god_n as_o minister_n must_v do_v it_o by_o preach_v all_o must_v do_v it_o by_o conference_n and_o example_n and_o be_v your_o deject_a sadness_n the_o performance_n of_o this_o §_o 6._o when_o she_o desire_v to_o be_v pray_v for_o she_o write_v down_o this_o answer_n which_o i_o find_v now_o in_o her_o paper_n it_o be_v well_o if_o you_o know_v what_o prayer_n to_o put_v up_o or_o what_o to_o desire_v i_o will_v pray_v for_o you_o according_a to_o the_o best_a of_o my_o judgement_n and_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o for_o what_o that_o you_o may_v know_v what_o to_o pray_v for_o for_o yourself_o first_o i_o will_v pray_v that_o your_o thought_n may_v be_v turn_v to_o the_o magnify_v of_o god_n love_n and_o you_o may_v remember_v that_o he_o be_v as_o good_a as_o he_o be_v great_a and_o that_o you_o may_v be_v more_o sensible_a of_o his_o mercy_n than_o of_o your_o own_o unworthiness_n 2._o i_o will_v pray_v that_o you_o may_v have_v so_o lively_a a_o apprehension_n of_o your_o everlasting_a felicity_n as_o may_v make_v you_o long_o to_o be_v with_o christ._n 3._o that_o you_o may_v have_v more_o self-denial_n and_o that_o humility_n which_o make_v you_o little_a in_o your_o own_o eye_n 4._o that_o you_o may_v be_v much_o less_o tender_a and_o liable_a to_o commotion_n and_o disquiet_v of_o mind_n and_o less_o sensible_a of_o unkindness_n and_o of_o bodily_a danger_n yea_o and_o of_o sin_n itself_o while_o the_o sense_n of_o it_o hinder_v the_o sense_n of_o mercy_n a_o meek_a and_o a_o quiet_a and_o patient_a spirit_n be_v of_o great_a price_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n i_o will_v pray_v that_o you_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o too_o much_o inward_a passion_n of_o fear_n grief_n or_o discontent_n 5._o i_o will_v pray_v that_o no_o creature_n may_v seem_v great_a better_a or_o more_o regardable_a or_o necessary_a to_o you_o than_o it_o be_v and_o that_o you_o will_v look_v on_o all_o as_o walk_a shadow_n vanity_n and_o liar_n that_o be_v untrusty_a further_o than_o you_o can_v see_v god_n in_o they_o or_o they_o lead_v you_o up_o to_o he_o that_o they_o may_v never_o be_v overloved_n over-feared_n over-trusted_n or_o their_o thought_n too_o much_o regard_v 6._o above_o all_o i_o will_v pray_v that_o you_o may_v be_v less_o self-willed_a and_o not_o to_o be_v too_o passionate_o or_o unmovable_o set_v upon_o the_o fulfil_n of_o all_o your_o will_n but_o may_v have_v a_o will_n that_o be_v compliant_a with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o can_v change_v as_o he_o will_v have_v it_o and_o will_v follow_v he_o and_o not_o run_v before_o he_o and_o can_v endure_v to_o be_v cross_v and_o deny_v by_o god_n and_o man_n without_o discomposedness_n and_o impatient_a trouble_n of_o mind_n 7._o i_o shall_v pray_v that_o seem_a wisdom_n may_v not_o entangle_v you_o either_o in_o the_o concealment_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o great_o need_v your_o friend_n advice_n or_o in_o the_o hide_v of_o your_o talent_n by_o unprofitale_fw-it silence_n as_o to_o all_o good_a discourse_n upon_o the_o enmity_n which_o you_o have_v to_o hypocrisy_n and_o that_o you_o will_v not_o live_v in_o sin_n of_o omission_n for_o sear_v of_o seem_v better_a than_o you_o be_v by_o this_o you_o may_v know_v wherein_o i_o think_v you_o faulty_a §_o 7._o the_o next_o i_o find_v be_v this_o advice_n against_o her_o resolution_n to_o go_v to_o london_n it_o be_v not_o lawful_a to_o speak_v a_o idle_a word_n and_o especial_o deliberate_o much_o less_o to_o go_v a_o idle_a journey_n what_o if_o you_o fall_v sick_a by_o the_o way_n or_o some_o weakness_n take_v you_o there_o will_v not_o conscience_n ask_v you_o who_o call_v you_o hither_o your_o weakness_n of_o spirit_n that_o can_v endure_v this_o or_o that_o at_o home_n with_o your_o dear_a friend_n be_v so_o far_o below_o the_o quiet_a compose_a fortitude_n which_o you_o shall_v have_v that_o you_o ought_v not_o to_o give_v way_n to_o it_o if_o you_o be_v at_o the_o command_n of_o your_o impatience_n how_o be_v you_o obedient_a to_o the_o command_n of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a work_n to_o bring_v your_o mind_n and_o will_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n than_o to_o change_v place_n or_o apparel_n or_o run_v away_o as_o jonah_n in_o discontent_n o_o for_o a_o mind_n and_o will_n that_o need_v no_o more_o to_o quiet_v it_o than_o to_o know_v what_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o our_o duty_n and_o in_o every_o estate_n therewith_o to_o be_v content_a when_o you_o know_v your_o duty_n
do_v it_o resolute_o and_o cheerful_o and_o scorn_v to_o run_v away_o and_o turn_v your_o back_n that_o you_o may_v do_v it_o without_o censure_n where_o you_o be_v unknown_a use_v well_o the_o mean_v god_n here_o vouchsafe_v you_o and_o do_v your_o duty_n with_o a_o quiet_a mind_n and_o follow_v god_n in_o your_o remove_n §_o 8._o much_o more_o of_o such_o counsel_n she_o transcribe_v but_o i_o forbear_v recite_v more_a she_o end_v those_o paper_n with_o these_o word_n the_o best_a creature-affection_n have_v a_o mixture_n of_o creature-imperfection_n and_o therefore_o need_v some_o gall_n to_o wean_v we_o from_o the_o faulty_a part_n god_n must_v be_v know_v to_o be_v god_n our_o rest_n and_o therefore_o the_o best_a creature_n to_o be_v but_o a_o creature_n o_o miserable_a world_n how_o long_o must_v i_o continue_v in_o it_o and_o why_o be_v this_o wretched_a heart_n so_o loath_a to_o leave_v it_o where_o we_o can_v have_v no_o fire_n without_o smoke_n and_o our_o dear_a friend_n 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that_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o borrow_v clothes_n 5._o and_o the_o great_a work_n upon_o her_o soul_n in_o her_o coversion_n move_v all_o her_o passion_n 6._o and_o then_o her_o dangerous_a sickness_n and_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n to_o so_o young_a a_o convert_n must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a awake_n thing_n and_o come_v on_o she_o before_o she_o have_v any_o assurance_n of_o her_o justification_n do_v increase_v her_o fear_n 7._o and_o in_o this_o case_n she_o live_v in_o the_o churchyard_n side_n where_o she_o see_v all_o the_o burial_n of_o the_o dead_a and_o keep_v a_o death_n head_n a_o skull_n in_o her_o closet_n still_o before_o she_o and_o other_o such_o mortify_a spectacle_n increase_v her_o sad_a disposition_n §_o 2._o and_o the_o excessive_a love_n which_o she_o have_v to_o her_o mother_n do_v much_o increase_v her_o grief_n when_o she_o expect_v death_n §_o 3._o though_o she_o call_v it_o melancholy_n that_o by_o all_o this_o she_o be_v cast_v into_o yet_o it_o 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she_o what_o holiness_n be_v she_o think_v she_o must_v present_o have_v it_o in_o so_o great_a a_o degree_n as_o the_o ripe_a saint_n do_v here_o attain_v and_o that_o because_o she_o have_v not_o as_o much_o heavenly_a life_n and_o sense_n and_o delight_n in_o god_n as_o she_o know_v she_o shall_v have_v and_o desire_v she_o conclude_v of_o it_o that_o she_o have_v none_o that_o be_v sincere_a §_o 7._o one_o of_o the_o first_o thing_n by_o which_o her_o change_n be_v discover_v to_o her_o mother_n and_o friend_n be_v her_o fervent_a secret_a prayer_n for_o live_v in_o a_o great_a house_n of_o which_o the_o middle_a part_n be_v ruin_v in_o the_o war_n she_o choose_v a_o closet_n in_o the_o further_a end_n where_o she_o think_v none_o hear_v she_o but_o some_o that_o overhear_v she_o say_v they_o never_o hear_v so_o fervent_a prayer_n from_o any_o person_n §_o 8._o yet_o she_o desire_v i_o to_o draw_v up_o a_o form_n suit_v to_o her_o own_o condition_n which_o i_o do_v and_o find_v it_o now_o reserve_v among_o her_o paper_n but_o i_o can_v tell_v whether_o she_o ever_o use_v it_o have_v affection_n and_o freedom_n of_o expression_n without_o it_o i_o have_v think_v to_o have_v annex_v it_o for_o the_o use_n of_o afflict_a penitent_n but_o it_o will_v be_v but_o a_o digression_n in_o this_o narrative_a chap._n vi_o of_o our_o marriage_n and_o our_o habitation_n §_o 1._o the_o unsuitableness_n of_o our_o age_n and_o my_o former_a know_a purpose_n against_o marriage_n and_o against_o the_o conveniency_n of_o minister_n marriage_n who_o have_v not_o sort_n of_o necessity_n make_v our_o marriage_n the_o matter_n of_o much_o public_a talk_n and_o wonder_n and_o the_o true_a open_n of_o her_o case_n and_o i_o and_o the_o many_o strange_a occurrence_n which_o bring_v it_o to_o pass_v will_v take_v away_o the_o wonder_n of_o her_o friend_n and_o i_o that_o know_v we_o and_o the_o notice_n of_o it_o will_v much_o conduce_v to_o the_o understanding_n of_o some_o other_o passage_n of_o our_o life_n yet_o wise_a friend_n by_o who_o i_o be_o advise_v think_v it_o better_a to_o omit_v such_o personal_a particularity_n at_o least_o at_o this_o time_n both_o in_o her_o case_n and_o i_o there_o be_v much_o extraordinary_a which_o it_o do_v not_o much_o concern_v the_o world_n to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o from_o the_o first_o thought_n of_o it_o many_o change_n and_o stoppage_n intervene_v and_o long_a delay_n till_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o eject_v with_o many_o hundred_o more_o and_o so_o be_v separate_v from_o my_o old_a pastoral_n charge_n which_o be_v enough_o to_o take_v up_o all_o my_o time_n and_o labour_n some_o of_o my_o dissuade_v reason_n be_v then_o over_o and_o at_o last_o on_o septemb_n 10._o 1662._o we_o be_v marry_v in_o bennet-fink_n church_n by_o mr._n samuel_n clerk_n yet_o live_a have_v be_v before_o contract_v by_o mr._n simeon_n ash_n both_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o mr._n henry_n ashurst_n and_o mrs._n ash._n §_o 2._o she_o consent_v to_o these_o condition_n of_o our_o marriage_n 1._o that_o i_o will_v have_v nothing_o that_o before_o our_o marriage_n be_v she_o that_o i_o who_o want_v no_o outward_a supply_n may_v not_o seem_v to_o marry_v she_o for_o covetousness_n 2._o that_o she_o will_v so_o alter_v her_o affair_n that_o i_o may_v be_v entangle_v in_o no_o lawsuit_n 3._o that_o she_o will_v expect_v none_o of_o my_o time_n which_o my_o ministerial_a work_n shall_v require_v §_o 3._o when_o we_o be_v marry_v her_o sadness_n and_o melancholy_n vanish_v counsel_n do_v something_o to_o it_o and_o contentment_n something_o and_o be_v take_v up_o with_o our_o household_n affair_n do_v somewhat_o and_o we_o live_v in_o inviolated_a love_n and_o mutual_a complacency_n sensible_a of_o the_o benefit_n of_o mutual_a help_n these_o
the_o room_n that_o we_o all_o day_n sit_v in_o that_o it_o be_v as_o a_o cloud_n and_o we_o be_v even_o suffocate_v with_o the_o stink_n and_o she_o have_v ever_o a_o great_a straitness_n of_o the_o lung_n that_o can_v not_o bear_v smoke_n or_o closeness_n this_o be_v the_o great_a bodily_a suffering_n that_o her_o outward_a condition_n put_v she_o to_o which_o be_v increase_v by_o my_o continual_a pain_n there_o but_o her_o charity_n to_o her_o poor_a landlady_n set_v her_o son_n apprentice_n who_o now_o live_v well_o §_o 9_o thence_o we_o remove_v to_o a_o house_n which_o we_o take_v to_o ourselves_o which_o require_v so_o great_a alteration_n and_o amendment_n as_o take_v she_o up_o much_o time_n and_o labour_n and_o to_o her_o great_a comfort_n she_o get_v mr._n corbet_n and_o his_o wife_n to_o dwell_v with_o we_o and_o in_o all_o these_o change_n and_o trouble_v she_o live_v in_o great_a peace_n §_o 10._o when_o the_o king_n declaration_n and_o licenses_fw-la give_v nonconformist_n leave_v to_o build_v meet_v place_n and_o preach_v she_o be_v against_o my_o go_v to_o london_n till_o other_o be_v there_o settle_v lest_o i_o shall_v anticipate_v they_o and_o gather_v any_o auditor_n who_o will_v else_o go_v to_o other_o especial_o their_o old_a eject_v pastor_n but_o when_o other_o be_v settle_v she_o be_v earnest_a with_o i_o to_o go_v for_o the_o exercise_n of_o my_o ministry_n §_o 11._o upon_o our_o remove_n to_o london_n out_o of_o tender_a regard_n to_o my_o health_n which_o she_o think_v the_o situation_n may_v contribute_v much_o unto_o she_o choose_v and_o take_v for_o we_o this_o most_o pleasant_a and_o convenient_a house_n in_o southampton-square_a where_o she_o die_v these_o be_v our_o remove_n chap._n vii_o of_o her_o exceed_a desire_n to_o do_v good_a §_o 1._o as_o at_o her_o conversion_n and_o in_o her_o sickness_n she_o absolute_o devote_v herself_o and_o all_o that_o she_o have_v to_o god_n so_o she_o earnest_o set_v herself_o to_o perform_v it_o to_o the_o last_o at_o first_o she_o give_v but_o the_o ten_o of_o her_o income_n to_o the_o poor_a but_o i_o quick_o convince_v she_o that_o god_n must_v not_o be_v stint_v but_o as_o all_o be_v he_o so_o all_o must_v be_v use_v for_o he_o by_o his_o steward_n and_o of_o all_o we_o must_v give_v account_n only_o in_o his_o appoint_a order_n we_o must_v use_v it_o which_o be_v 1._o for_o our_o own_o natural_a necessity_n 2._o for_o public_a necessary_a good_a 3._o for_o the_o necessity_n of_o our_o child_n and_o such_o relation_n as_o be_v part_n of_o our_o charge_n 4._o and_o then_o for_o the_o godly_a poor_a 5._o and_o then_o for_o the_o common_a poor_n necessity_n 6._o and_o last_o for_o conveniency_n but_o nothing_o for_o unuseful_a thing_n §_o 2._o to_o name_v the_o particular_a great_a instance_n of_o her_o private_a charity_n be_v neither_o suitable_a to_o my_o end_n nor_o her_o desire_n i_o will_v instance_n but_o some_o of_o she_o more_o public_a care_n §_o 3._o she_o be_v earnest_o desirous_a of_o the_o win_n of_o soul_n and_o of_o the_o utmost_a improvement_n of_o i_o and_o other_o man_n labour_n to_o that_o end_n at_o acton_n i_o tell_v you_o how_o she_o promote_v it_o and_o at_o totteridge_n out_o of_o church-time_n she_o glad_o open_v her_o door_n to_o her_o neighour_n that_o will_v come_v in_o for_o instruction_n §_o 4._o at_o london_n when_o she_o see_v i_o too_o dull_a and_o backward_o to_o seek_v any_o employment_n till_o i_o be_v call_v and_o that_o most_o place_n in_o the_o city_n have_v some_o supply_n she_o first_o fish_v out_o of_o i_o in_o what_o place_n i_o most_o desire_v more_o preach_v i_o tell_v she_o in_o st._n martin_n parish_n where_o be_v say_v to_o be_v forty_o thousand_o more_o than_o can_v come_v into_o the_o church_n especial_o among_o all_o the_o new_a building_n at_o st._n jame_n where_o neighbour_n many_o live_v like_a american_n and_o have_v hear_v no_o sermon_n of_o many_o year_n when_o she_o have_v once_o hear_v this_o without_o my_o knowledge_n she_o set_v one_o to_o seek_v after_o some_o capacious_a room_n there_o and_o none_o be_v find_v but_o divers_a room_n over_o the_o market-house_n lay_v together_o she_o get_v one_o to_o take_v they_o and_o they_o two_o agree_v to_o importune_v i_o to_o preach_v each_o morning_n and_o in_o the_o afternoon_n to_o get_v by_o turn_v the_o able_a minister_n they_o can_v procure_v in_o london_n and_o to_o that_o end_n she_o get_v a_o minister_n a_o hundred_o mile_n off_o to_o come_v up_o to_o help_v i_o promise_v he_o 4cl_n a_o year_n to_o go_v from_o day_n to_o day_n to_o supply_v the_o place_n of_o such_o eminent_a minister_n as_o shall_v be_v get_v all_o this_o charge_n beside_o pay_v a_o clerk_n and_o a_o woman_n to_o look_v to_o the_o seat_n rise_v high_a part_v of_o it_o the_o people_n pay_v and_o the_o rest_n she_o pay_v herself_o §_o 5._o hence_o god_n be_v please_v to_o remove_v we_o but_o by_o the_o interposition_n of_o a_o marvellous_a deliverance_n the_o roof_n of_o that_o market-house_n be_v a_o vast_a weight_n and_o be_v ill_o contrive_v to_o lie_v much_o on_o one_o beam_n in_o the_o middle_n of_o the_o floor_n the_o place_n be_v great_o crowd_v the_o beam_n give_v so_o great_a a_o crack_n as_o put_v all_o the_o people_n in_o a_o fear_n but_o a_o second_o crack_v set_v they_o all_o on_o run_v and_o cry_v out_o at_o the_o window_n for_o ladder_n i_o have_v see_v the_o like_o before_o at_o dunstan_n fleetstreet_n while_o i_o be_v preach_v which_o occasion_v the_o pull_n down_o and_o new_a build_n of_o the_o church_n reprove_v they_o sharp_o for_o their_o fear_n and_o will_v have_v go_v on_o to_o preach_v but_o see_v the_o strange_a hand_n of_o god_n on_o she_o that_o set_v all_o the_o work_n on_o foot_n after_o the_o first_o crack_n she_o get_v down_o the_o stair_n through_o the_o crowd_n where_o other_o can_v not_o get_v that_o be_v strong_a the_o first_o man_n she_o meet_v she_o ask_v he_o what_o profession_n he_o be_v of_o he_o say_v a_o carpenter_n say_v she_o can_v you_o sudden_o put_v a_o prop_n under_o the_o middle_n of_o this_o beam_n the_o man_n dwell_v close_o by_o have_v a_o meet_a prop_n ready_a sudden_o put_v it_o under_o while_o all_o we_o above_o know_v nothing_o of_o it_o but_o the_o man_n knock_v increase_v the_o people_n fear_n and_o cry_n we_o be_v glad_a all_o to_o be_v go_v and_o the_o next_o morning_n take_v a_o skilful_a workman_n to_o take_v up_o the_o board_n and_o search_v the_o beam_n which_o we_o all_o see_v have_v two_o such_o rent_n so_o long_o and_o so_o wide_a and_o the_o sound_a part_n leave_v be_v so_o slender_a that_o we_o take_v it_o for_o a_o wonder_n that_o the_o house_n fall_v not_o sudden_o §_o 6._o but_o this_o fright_n increase_v my_o wife_n disease_a frightfulness_n so_o that_o she_o never_o get_v off_o all_o the_o effect_n of_o it_o while_o she_o live_v the_o fear_n and_o the_o marvellous_a deliverance_n make_v her_o promise_n to_o god_n two_o thing_n 1._o to_o keep_v the_o anniversary_n memorial_n of_o it_o in_o public_a thanksgiving_n which_o she_o do_v and_o 2._o to_o build_v a_o safe_a place_n where_o they_o may_v meet_v with_o less_o fear_n and_o it_o too_o deep_o touch_v her_o mind_n to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v she_o that_o take_v the_o place_n and_o bring_v they_o all_o thither_o and_o if_o 800._o person_n have_v be_v there_o bury_v in_o the_o ruin_n as_o the_o papist_n be_v at_o blackfriar_n o_o what_o a_o dreadful_a thing_n it_o will_v have_v be_v in_o the_o heavy_a loss_n the_o many_o dolorous_a family_n and_o the_o public_a scandal_n these_o be_v too_o great_a thought_n to_o fall_v on_o a_o weak_a and_o too_o passionate_a nature_n §_o 7._o according_a to_o her_o promise_n she_o pay_v for_o that_o place_n and_o present_o set_v to_o seek_v and_o build_v another_o and_o there_o be_v there_o no_o fit_a ground_n near_o it_o to_o be_v have_v but_o two_o of_o which_o one_o be_v in_o oxenden-street_n which_o she_o can_v not_o have_v without_o give_v 30._o l._n a_o year_n ground-rent_a and_o to_o be_v at_o all_o the_o charge_n of_o building_n on_o it_o and_o this_o but_o for_o a_o lease_n not_o very_o long_o but_o she_o must_v do_v it_o by_o promise_n and_o desire_v she_o get_v a_o friend_n to_o make_v the_o bargain_n take_v the_o ground_n and_o beg_v money_n to_o build_v on_o it_o a_o chapel_n which_o tempt_v we_o by_o the_o ill_a advice_n of_o friend_n to_o take_v also_o the_o front-ground_n to_o the_o street_n and_o build_v two_o little_a house_n on_o it_o to_o our_o great_a loss_n all_o her_o own_o money_n and_o manytimes_o more_o be_v lay_v out_o upon_o they_o much_o
against_o her_o inclination_n §_o 8._o when_o that_o chapel_n be_v finish_v i_o begin_v and_o preach_v there_o but_o one_o day_n be_v to_o go_v on_o the_o morrow_n into_o the_o country_n it_o unhappy_o fall_v out_o that_o secretary_n henry_n coventry_n house_n be_v on_o the_o backside_n of_o it_o who_o resolve_v that_o it_o shall_v not_o be_v use_v by_o we_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n when_o i_o be_v far_o off_o and_o leave_v my_o wife_n at_o home_n she_o get_v one_o mr._n seddon_n a_o derbyshire-stranger_n then_o come_v to_o town_n to_o preach_v there_o a_o humble_a pious_a man_n that_o have_v suffer_v imprisonment_n former_o by_o cromwell_n party_n for_o be_v for_o the_o king_n restoration_n at_o the_o rise_n of_o sir_n george_n booth_n secretary_n coventry_n think_v i_o will_v be_v there_o have_v get_v three_o justice_n with_o a_o warrant_n as_o for_o i_o to_o have_v apprehend_v i_o and_o send_v i_o to_o goal_n but_o it_o fall_v on_o mr._n seddon_n but_o because_o the_o warrant_v make_v for_o i_o be_v so_o alter_v as_o to_o the_o name_n that_o it_o suit_v not_o his_o case_n after_o some_o time_n of_o imprisonment_n he_o have_v his_o habeas_fw-la corpus_fw-la and_o by_o the_o justice_n of_o worthy_a judge_n hale_n and_o other_o judge_n be_v deliver_v but_o he_o be_v a_o tender_a man_n and_o my_o wife_n sensible_a that_o she_o be_v the_o occasion_n which_o do_v she_o no_o good_a and_o all_o the_o burden_n lie_v on_o she_o to_o maintain_v he_o to_o visit_v and_o comfort_v he_o to_o pay_v the_o lawyer_n and_o discharge_v all_o fee_n which_o as_o i_o remember_v cost_v she_o 20_o l._n and_o yet_o we_o be_v calumniate_v as_o if_o i_o that_o be_v twenty_o mile_n off_o have_v put_v another_o to_o suffer_v in_o my_o stead_n §_o 9_o when_o she_o see_v that_o we_o can_v not_o be_v suffer_v to_o preach_v in_o the_o place_n which_o upon_o her_o promise_n she_o have_v build_v she_o be_v very_o glad_a that_o dr._n lloyd_n and_o the_o parishioner_n accept_v of_o it_o for_o their_o public_a worship_n ask_v they_o no_o more_o rent_n than_o we_o be_v to_o pay_v for_o the_o ground_n and_o the_o room_n over_o for_o a_o vestry_n at_o 5_o l._n and_o ask_v no_o advantage_n for_o all_o the_o money_n lay_v out_o on_o the_o build_n yet_o since_o the_o purchase_n of_o the_o fee-simple_n of_o the_o chappel-ground_n have_v cost_v i_o 200_o l._n more_o and_o the_o adjoin_a ground_n 200_o l._n more_o to_o my_o great_a loss_n §_o 10._o so_o much_o be_v her_o heart_n set_v on_o the_o help_a the_o ignorant_a untaught_a poor_a about_o st._n jame_n that_o she_o set_v up_o a_o school_n there_o to_o teach_v some_o poor_a child_n to_o read_v and_o the_o catechism_n free_o and_o thereby_o also_o relieve_v a_o poor_a honest_a man_n that_o teach_v they_o who_o have_v a_o wife_n and_o many_o child_n and_o no_o other_o maintenance_n of_o his_o own_o mr._n bruce_n and_o she_o will_v fain_o have_v set_v up_o more_o have_v she_o have_v money_n for_o this_o she_o beg_v a_o while_n of_o her_o good_a friend_n but_o they_o quick_o give_v over_o and_o she_o pay_v he_o most_o of_o her_o own_o six_o pound_n a_o year_n till_o her_o death_n i_o mention_v this_o to_o move_v some_o charitable_a people_n to_o continue_v it_o and_o to_o tell_v they_o that_o in_o the_o many_o great_a out-parish_n of_o london_n there_o be_v multitude_n of_o the_o child_n of_o the_o poor_a that_o spend_v their_o time_n in_o idleness_n and_o play_v and_o be_v never_o teach_v to_o read_v and_o that_o there_o be_v many_o good_a woman_n very_o poor_a that_o will_v be_v glad_a of_o a_o small_a stipue_v to_o teach_v such_o to_o read_v and_o the_o catechism_n and_o so_o both_o may_v have_v relief_n and_o help_n and_o i_o think_v charity_n can_v scarce_o be_v better_a use_v as_o honest_a mr._n gouge_n have_v in_o wales_n find_v by_o experience_n and_o i_o will_v such_o place_n in_o london_n where_o the_o ten_o or_o the_o four_o person_n in_o the_o parish_n can_v come_v to_o church_n and_o many_o thousand_o have_v disuse_v themselves_o from_o god_n public_a worship_n and_o breed_v up_o their_o child_n according_o be_v pity_v as_o well_o as_o wales_n §_o 11._o when_o she_o see_v that_o i_o can_v not_o use_v the_o chapel_n which_o she_o build_v she_o present_o hire_v another_o near_a ready_o build_v for_o gain_v in_o swallow-street_n that_o the_o poor_a people_n where_o i_o have_v begin_v through_o god_n mercy_n with_o considerable_a success_n may_v still_o be_v teach_v and_o when_o i_o have_v there_o a_o while_n continue_v and_o be_v keep_v out_o by_o the_o officer_n stand_v at_o the_o door_n with_o the_o justice_n warrant_v many_o month_n together_o it_o be_v her_o care_n and_o act_n to_o refer_v it_o to_o many_o good_a minister_n to_o choose_v one_o for_o the_o place_n that_o will_v be_v better_o endure_v by_o they_o that_o will_v not_o endure_v i_o and_o a_o faithful_a painful_a self-denying_a man_n be_v choose_v who_o have_v there_o do_v much_o good_a and_o still_o do_v §_o 12._o when_o i_o be_v thence_o drive_v it_o be_v her_o choice_n that_o i_o shall_v go_v quite_o to_o southwark_n each_o lordsday_n to_o preach_v to_o a_o congregation_n of_o poor_a people_n there_o §_o 13._o when_o dr._n manton's_n place_n at_o covent-garden_n be_v void_a it_o be_v her_o desire_n that_o i_o shall_v preach_v once_o a_o day_n there_o because_o be_v near_o many_o of_o the_o poor_a of_o st._n james_n will_v come_v thither_o as_o they_o do_v §_o 14._o she_o get_v from_o her_o friend_n also_o money_n to_o help_v to_o build_v another_o very_a useful_a chapel_n for_o another_o among_o a_o numerous_a poor_a people_n where_o still_o much_o good_a be_v do_v and_o she_o promote_v two_o or_o three_o such_o more_o §_o 15._o she_o be_v very_o impatient_a of_o public_a collection_n for_o the_o minister_n or_o for_o the_o rent_n of_o the_o place_n because_o it_o sound_v ill_a and_o prejudice_v the_o ignorant_a and_o covetous_a and_o trouble_v the_o poor_a that_o have_v no_o money_n and_o therefore_o do_v the_o utmost_a she_o can_v with_o she_o own_o purse_n and_o her_o friend_n to_o avoid_v it_o know_v that_o rent_n must_v be_v pay_v and_o minister_n and_o their_o family_n must_v have_v bread_n and_o it_o be_v pity_n they_o shall_v be_v under_o the_o care_n of_o want_n §_o 16._o she_o be_v so_o far_o from_o cross_v i_o in_o my_o preach_n free_o without_o salary_n or_o gather_v a_o church_n that_o will_v maintain_v i_o or_o make_v collection_n or_o get_v subscription_n that_o she_o will_v not_o have_v endure_v any_o such_o thing_n if_o i_o have_v desire_v it_o though_o she_o know_v that_o the_o labourer_n be_v worthy_a of_o his_o hire_n and_o that_o god_n have_v ordain_v that_o they_o that_o preach_v the_o gospel_n shall_v live_v of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o she_o know_v that_o all_o must_v be_v do_v to_o the_o furtherance_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o to_o edify_v and_o be_v of_o paul_n mind_n that_o will_v rather_o die_v than_o any_o shall_v make_v his_o glory_v void_a and_o deprive_v he_o of_o that_o reward_n therefore_o it_o be_v so_o far_o from_o offend_v she_o as_o it_o will_v be_v with_o many_o minister_n wife_n that_o be_v in_o want_n and_o may_v have_v such_o maintenance_n as_o be_v their_o due_n that_o i_o neither_o conform_v nor_o take_v any_o place_n of_o gain_n that_o it_o be_v as_o much_o by_o her_o will_n as_o my_o own_o that_o for_o the_o first_o nine_o or_o ten_o year_n of_o my_o eject_v state_n i_o take_v not_o so_o much_o as_o any_o private_a gift_n to_o supply_v my_o want_n except_o ten_o pound_n a_o year_n from_o sergeant_n fountain_n which_o his_o importunity_n and_o my_o civility_n will_v not_o permit_v i_o to_o refuse_v §_o 17._o and_o i_o take_v it_o yet_o for_o a_o great_a part_n of_o her_o self-denial_n and_o charity_n that_o when_o her_o own_o estate_n prove_v much_o too_o short_a to_o maintain_v she_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o such_o good_a work_n as_o she_o be_v devote_v to_o she_o at_o length_n refuse_v not_o to_o accept_v with_o thanks_o the_o liberality_n of_o other_o and_o to_o live_v partly_o on_o charity_n that_o she_o may_v exercise_v charity_n to_o they_o that_o can_v not_o so_o easy_o get_v it_o from_o other_o as_o we_o can_v do_v and_o according_o of_o latter_a year_n divers_a faithful_a pious_a friend_n no_o way_n relate_v to_o we_o or_o oblige_v by_o we_o have_v be_v so_o free_a kind_a and_o liberal_a that_o i_o have_v much_o ado_n to_o forbear_v here_o name_v they_o in_o expression_n of_o their_o bounty_n and_o my_o thanks_o and_o i_o must_v say_v of_o she_o that_o once_o her_o pride_n will_v not_o have_v stoop_v to_o be_v so_o much_o behold_v as_o
to_o supply_v the_o notorious_a necessity_n of_o the_o people_n and_o as_o helper_n of_o the_o allow_a ministry_n the_o good_a woman_n think_v this_o have_v be_v read_v the_o common-prayer_n and_o in_o a_o letter_n which_o i_o now_o find_v accuse_v my_o wife_n with_o five_o or_o six_o vehement_a charge_n for_o tell_v she_o i_o will_v not_o read_v 〈◊〉_d common-prayer_n my_o wife_n be_v of_o my_o mind_n for_o the_o matter_n but_o great_o offend_v with_o i_o for_o seem_v to_o do_v it_o for_o the_o avoid_n of_o danger_n and_o be_v so_o far_o from_o not_o pardon_v these_o false_a smart_a accusation_n that_o she_o never_o once_o blame_v the_o good_a woman_n but_o love_v she_o tender_v she_o and_o relieve_v she_o in_o sickness_n to_o the_o death_n but_o hardly_o forgive_v i_o and_o yet_o draw_v i_o from_o all_o other_o place_n if_o the_o minister_n be_v not_o of_o my_o mind_n by_o prudent_a diversity_n much_o less_o do_v her_o suffering_n from_o the_o time_n distemper_v she_o she_o have_v blame_v i_o for_o name_v in_o print_n my_o loss_n imprisonment_n and_o other_o suffering_n by_o the_o bishop_n as_o be_v over_o selfish_a queralousness_n when_o i_o shall_v rather_o with_o wonder_n be_v thankful_a for_o the_o great_a mercy_n we_o yet_o enjoy_v though_o i_o think_v i_o never_o mention_v they_o as_o over-sensible_a of_o the_o suffering_n but_o as_o a_o necessary_a evince_a of_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o cause_n and_o as_o part_v of_o the_o necessary_a history_n or_o matter_n of_o fact_n in_o order_n to_o decide_v it_o she_z as_o much_o dislike_v the_o silence_v of_o the_o minister_n as_o any_o but_o she_o do_v not_o love_v to_o hear_v it_o much_o complain_v of_o save_v as_o the_o public_a loss_n nor_o to_o hear_v conformist_n talk_v against_o as_o a_o party_n nor_o the_o fault_n of_o the_o conscientious_a sort_n of_o they_o aggravate_v in_o a_o side_a factious_a manner_n but_o 1._o she_o be_v prone_a to_o overlove_v her_o relation_n and_o those_o good_a people_n poor_a as_o much_o as_o rich_a who_o she_o think_v most_o upright_o the_o love_n be_v good_a but_o the_o degree_n be_v too_o passionate_a 2._o she_o over-earnest_o desire_v their_o spiritual_a welfare_n if_o these_o who_o she_o overloved_n have_v not_o be_v as_o good_a and_o do_v as_o well_o as_o she_o will_v have_v they_o in_o innocent_a behaviour_n in_o piety_n and_o if_o rich_a in_o liberality_n it_o over-troubled_n she_o and_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o 3._o she_o be_v apt_a when_o she_o set_v her_o mind_n and_o heart_n upon_o some_o good_a work_n which_o she_o count_v great_a or_o the_o welfare_n of_o some_o dear_a friend_n to_o be_v too_o much_o please_v in_o her_o expectation_n and_o self-made_a promise_n of_o the_o success_n and_o then_o almost_o overturn_v with_o trouble_n when_o they_o disappoint_v she_o and_o she_o too_o impatient_o bear_v unkindness_n from_o the_o friend_n that_o be_v most_o dear_a to_o she_o or_o who_o she_o have_v much_o oblige_v her_o will_n be_v set_v upon_o good_a but_o her_o weakness_n can_v not_o bear_v the_o cross_n or_o frustration_n of_o it_o §_o 12._o but_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o tyrannize_v over_o she_o be_v a_o disease_a fearfulness_n against_o which_o she_o have_v little_o more_o free_a will_n or_o power_n than_o a_o man_n in_o a_o ague_n or_o frost_n against_o shake_v cold_a her_o nature_n be_v prone_a to_o it_o and_o i_o say_v before_o abundance_n of_o sad_a accident_n make_v that_o and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n her_o malady_n beside_o as_o she_o say_v four_o time_n in_o danger_n of_o death_n 2._o and_o the_o storm_a of_o her_o mother_n house_n by_o soldier_n fire_v part_n kill_v plunder_v and_o threaten_v the_o rest_n 3._o the_o awakening_n of_o her_o conversion_n 4._o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n by_o sickness_n present_o before_o her_o peace_n be_v settle_v 5._o the_o fire_n next_o her_o lodging_n in_o sweetings-alley_n 6._o the_o burn_a of_o a_o merchant_n his_o wife_n and_o family_n in_o lothbury_n overagainst_a her_o brother_n vpton_n door_n 7._o the_o common_a terror_n and_o confusion_n at_o dunstan_n church_n in_o fleetstreet_n when_o they_o think_v the_o church_n be_v fall_v on_o their_o head_n while_o i_o be_v preach_v and_o the_o people_n cast_v themselves_o down_o from_o the_o gallery_n 8._o her_o mother_n death_n 9_o the_o friendless_a state_n she_o think_v she_o be_v then_o leave_v in_o 10._o the_o great_a plague_n 11._o the_o burn_v of_o london_n 12._o the_o crack_n and_o danger_n of_o her_o chamber_n in_o aldersgate_n street_n 13._o the_o crack_n and_o confusion_n at_o st._n jame_n market-house_n 14._o the_o many_o fire_n and_o talk_n of_o fire_v since_o 15._o the_o common_a rumour_n of_o murdering_n and_o massacre_n 16._o the_o death_n and_o danger_n of_o many_o of_o her_o friend_n and_o my_o own_o illness_n more_o than_o all_o these_o concur_v to_o make_v fear_n and_o aptness_n to_o be_v trouble_v to_o be_v her_o disease_n so_o that_o she_o much_o dream_v of_o fire_n and_o murderer_n and_o her_o own_o dream_n work_v half_a as_o dangerous_o on_o she_o as_o reality_n so_o that_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o clap_v of_o a_o door_n or_o any_o thing_n that_o have_v suddenness_n noise_n or_o fierceness_n in_o it_o but_o all_o this_o be_v more_o the_o malady_n of_o her_o body_n than_o of_o her_o soul_n and_o i_o account_v have_v little_a moral_a guilt_n and_o i_o take_v it_o for_o a_o evidence_n of_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n that_o so_o timorous_a a_o person_n 1._o have_v overcome_v most_o of_o her_o fear_n of_o hell_n and_o god_n desertion_n 2._o and_o be_v more_o fearless_a of_o persecution_n imprisonment_n or_o loss_n and_o poverty_n thereby_o than_o i_o or_o any_o that_o i_o remember_v to_o have_v know_v §_o 13._o and_o though_o her_o spirit_n be_v so_o quick_a and_o she_o so_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v at_o man_n sin_n who_o she_o much_o love_v she_o great_o differ_v from_o i_o in_o her_o bear_n with_o they_o and_o carriage_n towards_o they_o 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least_o fault_n than_o i_o do_v and_o be_v more_o desirous_a of_o their_o great_a innocency_n and_o exactness_n §_o 14._o indeed_o she_o be_v so_o much_o for_o calmness_n deliberation_n and_o do_v nothing_o rash_o and_o in_o haste_n and_o my_o condition_n and_o business_n as_o well_o as_o temper_v make_v i_o do_v and_o speak_v much_o so_o sudden_o that_o she_o principal_o differ_v from_o i_o and_o blame_v i_o in_o this_o every_o considerable_a case_n and_o business_n she_o will_v have_v i_o take_v time_n to_o think_v much_o of_o before_o i_o do_v it_o or_o speak_v or_o resolve_v of_o any_o thing_n i_o know_v the_o counsel_n be_v good_a for_o one_o that_o can_v stay_v but_o not_o for_o one_o that_o must_v ride_v post_n i_o think_v still_o i_o have_v but_o a_o little_a time_n to_o live_v i_o think_v some_o considerable_a work_n still_o call_v for_o haste_n i_o have_v these_o forty_o year_n be_v sensible_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o lose_v time_n i_o can_v not_o spare_v a_o hour_n i_o think_v i_o can_v understand_v the_o matter_n in_o question_n as_o well_o at_o a_o few_o thought_n as_o in_o many_o day_n and_o yet_o she_o that_o have_v less_o work_n and_o more_o leisure_n but_o a_o far_o quick_a apprehension_n than_o i_o be_v all_o for_o stay_v to_o consider_v and_o against_o haste_n and_o eagerness_n in_o almost_o every_o thing_n and_o notwithstanding_o she_o over_o quick_a and_o feel_a temper_n be_v all_o for_o mildness_n calmness_n gentleness_n pleasingness_n and_o serenity_n §_o 15._o she_o have_v a_o earnest_a desire_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o salvation_n of_o her_o servant_n and_o be_v great_o trouble_v that_o so_o many_o of_o they_o though_o tolerable_a in_o their_o work_n go_v away_o ignorant_a or_o strange_a to_o true_a
be_v a_o good_a friend_n but_o art_n and_o industry_n be_v necessary_a to_o the_o improvement_n and_o no_o wonder_n when_o we_o fetch_v not_o the_o help_n and_o comfort_n which_o we_o may_v have_v from_o god_n from_o christ_n himself_o from_o heaven_n from_o scripture_n for_o want_v of_o improve_n skill_n and_o industry_n o_o how_o easy_a be_v it_o when_o our_o friend_n be_v take_v from_o we_o to_o say_v thus_o and_o thus_o i_o may_v and_o shall_v have_v use_v they_o rather_o than_o so_o to_o use_v they_o while_o we_o have_v they_o i_o hope_v god_n will_v help_v i_o to_o make_v some_o better_a use_n of_o thou_o while_o we_o be_v together_o and_o at_o a_o distance_n o_o let_v not_o a_o hearty_a request_n to_o god_n for_o each_o other_o be_v any_o day_n want_v dear_a heart_n the_o time_n of_o our_o mutual_a help_n be_v short_a o_o let_v we_o use_v it_o according_o but_o the_o time_n of_o our_o reap_v the_o fruit_n of_o this_o and_o all_o holy_a endeavour_n and_o preparatory_a mercy_n 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