june_n 17_o 1686._o dear_a sir_n this_o letter_n shall_v have_v reach_v you_o before_o this_o time_n and_o have_v do_v so_o but_o for_o some_o intervening_a occurrence_n i_o be_v surprise_v with_o the_o report_n of_o your_o decease_a consort_n of_o who_o so_o speedy_a removal_n hence_o there_o be_v to_o you_o and_o i_o when_o last_o together_o so_o little_a intimation_n or_o presage_v but_o flesh_n be_v grass_n though_o soul_n be_v precious_a and_o invaluable_a and_o god_n know_v what_o he_o do_v and_o why_o he_o be_v no_o way_n oblige_v to_o let_v we_o know_v what_o be_v in_o the_o womb_n of_o his_o providence_n till_o the_o birth_n be_v produce_v we_o live_v to_o die_v and_o die_v that_o we_o may_v better_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o live_v and_o then_o best_a know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v when_o go_v to_o god_n i_o hope_v you_o know_v how_o to_o comport_v with_o providence_n and_o to_o be_v silent_a and_o submissive_a and_o satisfy_v in_o the_o great_a arbiter_n of_o all_o thing_n infinite_a wisdom_n have_v contrive_v dispensation_n into_o the_o exact_a order_n and_o he_o who_o work_v all_o thing_n after_o the_o counsel_n of_o his_o own_o will_n call_v she_o home_o at_o the_o right_a time_n do_v you_o and_o i_o see_v the_o beautiful_a system_n of_o providential_a dispensation_n we_o shall_v both_o sin_v and_o yield_v that_o long_o have_v be_v too_o long_o for_o she_o that_o be_v go_v to_o live_v and_o soon_o have_v be_v too_o soon_o to_o die_v what_o occur_v in_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 29_o 31._o equal_o concern_v both_o you_o and_o i_o though_o as_o yet_o under_o different_a dispensation_n you_o must_v be_v as_o if_o you_o have_v not_o lose_v a_o wife_n and_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v no_o wife_n time_n be_v short_a and_o life_n and_o relative_a comfort_n be_v transient_a and_o fluid_a thing_n therefore_o your_o sorrow_n must_v be_v moderate_a for_o your_o loss_n and_o my_o joy_n must_v be_v as_o if_o they_o be_v not_o seeing_z we_o and_o we_o be_v to_o follow_v and_o part_n and_o pass_v away_o in_o our_o course_n all_o the_o occurrence_n of_o our_o little_a time_n even_o bold_o challenge_v from_o we_o the_o spirit_n and_o posture_n of_o preparedness_n to_o resign_v our_o all_o to_o god_n methinks_v we_o be_v die_v whilst_o we_o live_v part_v while_n and_o when_o we_o seem_v to_o meet_v and_o providence_n ring_v change_v all_o the_o while_n that_o we_o be_v pass_v to_o our_o grave_n no_o one_o be_v too_o good_a to_o die_v too_o needful_a to_o we_o to_o be_v take_v from_o we_o or_o too_o much_o endear_v or_o tie_v to_o we_o to_o be_v divorce_v from_o we_o but_o o_o what_o wonderful_a thing_n have_v christianity_n lay_v in_o to_o attemper_v we_o to_o the_o divine_a will_n to_o compose_v we_o under_o and_o to_o better_v we_o by_o even_o the_o sharp_a dispensation_n that_o can_v betide_v we_o here_o there_o be_v tie_v not_o to_o be_v loose_v relation_n that_o know_v not_o what_o it_o be_v to_o die_v treasure_n not_o to_o be_v impair_v region_n above_o so_o well_o inhabit_v so_o rich_o store_v so_o wise_o order_v so_o free_o promise_v so_o well_o insure_v to_o we_o and_o such_o care_n take_v about_o our_o fitness_n for_o they_o and_o seasonable_a and_o effectual_a translation_n thither_o under_o all_o accent_n of_o solemnity_n and_o triumph_n as_o that_o we_o great_o shame_v and_o wrong_v religion_n and_o ourselves_o if_o we_o prove_v sullen_a oâ—_n despondent_a when_o god_n take_v from_o we_o our_o dear_a relation_n here_o below_o all_o be_v satisfy_v or_o shall_v be_v so_o but_o all_o look_v not_o through_o and_o beyond_o the_o grave_a one_o glance_n of_o thing_n beyond_o the_o veil_n though_o steal_v or_o get_v by_o faith_n will_v easy_o counsel_v a_o christian_n that_o under_o his_o great_a pressure_n and_o sequestration_n here_o it_o be_v through_o himself_o and_o his_o great_a fault_n if_o his_o joy_n do_v not_o surmount_v and_o swallow_v up_o his_o grief_n but_o worthy_a cousin_n i_o much_o forget_v myself_o i_o hope_v for_o charitable_a construction_n of_o these_o bold_a essay_n sympathy_n and_o gratitude_n and_o a_o concern_v for_o you_o make_v i_o transgress_v the_o bound_n of_o modesty_n have_v but_o my_o head_n and_o heart_n the_o happiness_n of_o be_v bot_a furnish_v my_o pen_n may_v then_o afford_v you_o more_o profitable_a and_o delightful_a entertainment_n but_o though_o i_o be_o neither_o eloquent_a nor_o witty_a yet_o dear_a sir_n believe_v i_o to_o be_v hearty_o you_o in_o christ_n bond_n m._n s._n a_o copy_n of_o a_o letter_n from_o my_o brother_n h._n june_n 5_o 1686._o dear_a brother_n i_o be_o true_o afflict_v with_o your_o assliction_n do_v beg_v god_n will_v make_v up_o that_o great_a breaâ—h_n by_o clear_v up_o your_o union_n with_o himself_o which_o be_v indissolvable_a your_o comfortable_a consort_n be_v lay_v up_o from_o the_o evil_n we_o may_v be_v reserve_v for_o and_o be_v free_v from_o sin_n the_o lord_n stay_v your_o heart_n and_o bring_v you_o into_o a_o true_a subjection_n to_o his_o will._n i_o have_v long_o desire_v to_o see_v you_o together_o but_o hitherto_o have_v be_v let_v and_o be_o now_o so_o that_o i_o can_v perform_v what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n to_o have_v do_v therefore_o do_v hope_v you_o will_v excuse_v i_o who_o be_o dear_a brother_n your_o sympathize_v affectionate_a brother_n i._n h._n my_o wife_n give_v her_o affectionate_a service_n to_o you_o a_o copy_n of_o a_o letter_n from_o madam_n l._n ever_o honour_a sir_n i_o can_v possible_o write_v my_o trouble_n for_o the_o death_n of_o your_o dear_a lady_n and_o my_o most_o entire_o belove_a friend_n it_o be_v a_o cut_v stroke_v indeed_o yet_o must_v be_v quiet_o bear_v come_v from_o the_o hand_n that_o always_o act_n wise_o and_o gracious_o for_o holy_a purpose_n and_o ends._n certain_o the_o great_a god_n afflict_v not_o for_o his_o own_o pleasure_n but_o our_o advantage_n either_o to_o expel_v sin_n destructive_a to_o the_o soul_n or_o increase_v grace_n the_o life_n health_n and_o prosperity_n of_o a_o soul_n and_o dear_a sir_n i_o question_v not_o your_o endeavour_n to_o know_v the_o errand_n and_o to_o pursue_v the_o end_n of_o this_o sudden_a and_o sad_a dispensation_n the_o lord_n sanctify_v it_o to_o we_o all_o that_o as_o we_o have_v certain_o lose_v one_o way_n we_o may_v gain_v benefit_n another_o way_n and_o learn_v to_o place_v our_o happiness_n in_o he_o that_o will_v never_o leave_v nor_o forsake_v he_o there_o true_a contentment_n and_o felicity_n be_v to_o be_v find_v and_o no_o where_o else_o i_o be_o yet_o as_o you_o leave_v i_o but_o every_o hour_n in_o expectation_n of_o a_o time_n of_o trial._n i_o beg_v your_o prayer_n for_o submission_n faith_n and_o courage_n to_o go_v through_o that_o work_n that_o my_o heavenly_a father_n shall_v put_v i_o to_o may_v i_o but_o have_v his_o presence_n and_o assistance_n and_o then_o i_o can_v pass_v sweet_o through_o the_o shade_n of_o death_n i_o be_o wonderful_o satisfy_v in_o the_o comfortable_a death_n of_o my_o dear_a friend_n and_o shall_v prize_v whatever_o drop_v from_o her_o mouth_n etc._n etc._n well_o since_o it_o have_v please_v the_o lord_n to_o remove_v from_o i_o a_o dear_a wife_n and_o bosom-friend_n and_o companion_n the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v to_o consider_v the_o errand_n of_o such_o a_o dispensation_n to_o hear_v the_o voice_n of_o this_o rod_n and_o know_v who_o have_v appoint_v it_o it_o may_v be_v this_o stroke_n may_v be_v upon_o these_o or_o some_o of_o these_o ground_n 1._o it_o may_v be_v i_o be_v too_o fond_a of_o that_o creature-comfort_n the_o lord_n take_v from_o i_o for_o though_o by_o my_o wicked_a deportment_n such_o fondness_n can_v not_o always_o be_v observe_v yet_o i_o have_v a_o entire_a love_n for_o she_o and_o can_v seldom_o bear_v any_o absence_n from_o she_o 2._o it_o may_v be_v i_o do_v not_o improve_v such_o a_o mercy_n as_o i_o ought_v whilst_o i_o have_v it_o do_v not_o enough_o give_v god_n the_o glory_n of_o a_o mercy_n he_o have_v give_v i_o so_o much_o comfort_n in_o 3._o it_o may_v be_v i_o have_v be_v too_o insensible_a of_o the_o misery_n of_o sin_n and_o therefore_o the_o lord_n have_v bring_v this_o misery_n upon_o i_o that_o be_v afflict_v myself_o i_o may_v better_o know_v and_o learn_v how_o to_o comfort_v other_o in_o their_o strait_o and_o sympathize_v with_o they_o in_o their_o affliction_n 4._o lesser_a trouble_n as_o that_o the_o last_o summer_n and_o other_o have_v not_o it_o may_v be_v do_v that_o work_n upon_o i_o god_n intend_v they_o for_o and_o therefore_o the_o lord_n see_v cause_n to_o add_v this_o great_a affliction_n of_o strip_v i_o of_o the_o best_a creature-comfort_n i_o ever_o enjoy_v 5._o my_o
day_n of_o judgement_n upon_o mr._n dunton_n paraphrase_n of_o mat._n 25.41_o 215_o sentence_n more_o particular_a on_o the_o ignorant_a slothful_a on_o worship-neglecters_a sabbath-breaker_n swearer_n scoffer_n persecutor_n licentious_a glutton_n drunkard_n adultevers_n covetous_a vnmerciful_a unrighteous_a liar_n slanderer_n ambitious_a envious_a wrathful_a moralist_n hypocrite_n apostate_n backslider_n impenitent_a unbeliever_n etc._n etc._n 222_o 223_o etc._n etc._n meditation_n in_o verse_n on_o john_n 6._o 36._o by_o way_n of_o objection_n and_o answer_n 238_o etc._n etc._n the_o die_a soul_n last_o farewell_n to_o the_o world_n 248_o the_o welcome_n to_o heaven_n 249_o a_o hymn_n on_o isa_n 8._o 17._o 250_o a_o meditation_n on_o mat._n 11._o 28_o 29_o 30._o 251_o a_o poetical_a remembrance_n of_o mr._n john_n oak_n 252_o a_o hymn_n on_o mr._n slater_n subject_n eph._n 2._o 5._o 256_o a_o alphabet_n in_o verse_n 260_o a_o hymn_n on_o mr._n perriot_n text_n john_n 14._o 27._o 262_o a_o hymn_n on_o mr._n s_n text_n col._n 3._o 1._o 263_o another_o hymn_n on_o the_o same_o text_n and_o on_o 1_o cor._n 15._o 20_o 21_o 22._o 264_o meditation_n on_o mr._n s_n text_n joh._n 2._o 6._o and_o doctrine_n 265_o etc._n etc._n meditation_n on_o mr._n g_n text_n 1_o john_n 4._o 7._o 269_o meditation_n on_o several_a text_n and_o doctrine_n from_o pag._n 270_o to_o 279_o verse_n on_o the_o french_a king_n persecution_n 280_o a_o acrostic_n and_o anagram_n on_o mr._n g._n d._n 291_o a_o elegy_n on_o mr._n g._n d._n by_o his_o nophew_n j._n d._n 293_o some_o passage_n most_o remarkable_a in_o the_o whole_a course_n of_o my_o life_n collect_v take_v and_o methodise_v by_o my_o own_o hand_n out_o of_o my_o diary_n for_o the_o most_o part_n though_o i_o have_v not_o omit_v other_o thing_n as_o they_o have_v occur_v to_o memory_n in_o which_o i_o have_v discover_v my_o dark_a side_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o unregeneracy_n as_o also_o my_o bright_a side_n after_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o touch_v my_o heart_n with_o a_o sense_n of_o sin_n to_o awaken_v my_o conscience_n to_o show_v i_o my_o undo_v and_o lose_v condition_n by_o nature_n and_o my_o need_n of_o a_o saviour_n by_o g._n disney_n in_o the_o month_n of_o october_n 1690._o the_o epistle_n dedicate_a this_o little_a book_n as_o my_o last_o legacy_n to_o my_o dear_a wife_n m._n disney_n my_o honour_a mother_n brother_n sister_n with_o other_o my_o dear_a relation_n and_o friend_n who_o may_v have_v the_o perusal_n of_o god_n dispensation_n towards_o i_o both_o in_o young_a and_o riper_n year_n from_o my_o own_o pen_n who_o though_o dead_a yet_o thus_o speak_v my_o dear_a wife_n etc._n etc._n since_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o providence_n have_v be_v please_v to_o remove_v i_o from_o you_o by_o death_n and_o â—all_n i_o hâ—me_o so_o that_o i_o can_v no_o further_o nor_o other_o way_n be_v serviceable_a to_o you_o i_o i_o must_v beg_v your_o acceptance_n and_o perusal_n of_o this_o the_o last_o legacy_n of_o your_o decease_a friend_n who_o though_o dead_a you_o find_v speak_v you_o may_v now_o take_v a_o review_n of_o i_o if_o so_o vile_a a_o thing_n as_o i_o be_v can_v be_v worth_a your_o pain_n i_o have_v in_o the_o follow_a paper_n give_v you_o some_o passage_n of_o my_o diary_n methodise_v in_o which_o i_o have_v endeavour_v as_o impartial_o as_o i_o can_v if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o to_o give_v you_o the_o view_n of_o my_o dark_a side_n as_o well_o as_o my_o bright_a and_o both_o for_o these_o reason_n by_o the_o former_a you_o may_v take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o miserable_a corruption_n of_o my_o most_o wretched_a nature_n you_o have_v there_o the_o very_a picture_n and_o character_n of_o one_o post_v to_o hell_n the_o wiles_n and_o subtlety_n of_o a_o active_a busy_a devil_n the_o snare_n and_o bait_n of_o a_o bewitch_a world_n and_o the_o mischievous_a consequence_n of_o bad_a company_n by_o the_o latter_a you_o may_v behold_v the_o wonderful_a rich_a and_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o to_o i_o i_o say_v one_o of_o the_o vile_a and_o great_a of_o sinner_n to_o i_o that_o have_v harden_v my_o heart_n after_o many_o and_o many_o a_o reproof_n and_o may_v upon_o that_o account_n have_v expect_v sudden_a destruction_n and_o that_o without_o remedy_n to_o i_o that_o have_v not_o only_o sin_v myself_o but_o have_v draw_v other_o into_o sin_n too_o here_o stand_v and_o wonder_n at_o free_a grace_n in_o snatch_v such_o a_o brand_n out_o of_o the_o fire_n and_o in_o bring_v i_o from_o under_o satan_n slavery_n and_o dominion_n into_o his_o own_o marvellous_a kingdom_n o_o that_o the_o lord_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o mercy_n he_o have_v so_o eminent_o give_v i_o the_o comfort_n of_o come_v then_o my_o dear_a friend_n away_o christ_n to_o christ_n and_o if_o you_o have_v do_v this_o as_o i_o hope_v you_o have_v why_o then_o stay_v with_o he_o abide_v here_o and_o mend_v your_o pace_n heavenward_n you_o can_v never_o i_o be_o sure_a either_o mend_v your_o master_n your_o work_n or_o your_o wage_n have_v you_o set_v your_o face_n heavenward_n o_o never_o think_v of_o look_v back_o be_v you_o not_o far_o from_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n o_o yet_o go_v further_o for_o it_o will_v be_v dreadful_o sad_a to_o perish_v at_o the_o very_a gate_n of_o glory_n you_o have_v it_o may_v be_v escape_v many_o of_o the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n and_o 〈◊〉_d and_o suffer_v too_o something_o for_o dear_a christ_n well!_o have_v a_o care_n of_o loâ—ing_v all_o and_o fall_v short_a of_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n for_o want_v of_o a_o 〈◊〉_d work_n and_o of_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n you_o have_v the_o lamp_n of_o profession_n but_o have_v you_o the_o oil_n of_o grace_n you_o can_v â—ry_v lord_n lord_n but_o do_v you_o do_v the_o will_n of_o your_o heavenly_a father_n dear_a friend_n persevere_v have_v a_o care_n of_o apostary_n lukeâ—â—â—_n 〈◊〉_d or_o a_o 〈◊〉_d form_n of_o godliness_n hold_v so_o the_o end_n whatever_o you_o may_v suffer_v 〈◊〉_d â—ose_n for_o your_o so_o do_v and_o be_v confident_a heaven_n will_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d amends_o for_o all_o and_o if_o this_o 〈◊〉_d book_n shall_v 〈◊〉_d friend_n 〈◊〉_d by_o any_o 〈◊〉_d relation_n such_o who_o be_v yet_o in_o the_o â—all_n of_o 〈◊〉_d and_o in_o the_o bond_n of_o iniquity_n i_o must_v earnest_o persuade_v such_o 〈◊〉_d come_v to_o christ_n poor_a 〈◊〉_d sinner_n away_o to_o christ_n come_v you_o must_v at_o last_o be_v good_a nay_o you_o shall_v be_v good_a if_o any_o thing_n i_o can_v do_v 〈◊〉_d say_v may_v prevail_v i_o may_v not_o do_v so_o 〈◊〉_d to_o your_o immortal_a soul_n 〈◊〉_d to_o suffer_v you_o if_o i_o 〈◊〉_d help_v iâ—_n to_o persist_v and_o perish_v in_o a_o way_n of_o wickedness_n in_o a_o way_n you_o as_o well_o as_o i_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d â—o_o hell_n and_o destruction_n it_o be_v not_o i_o believe_v too_o late_o yet_o for_o you_o to_o accept_v of_o christ_n free_o 〈◊〉_d full_o offerin_o the_o gospel_n to_o the_o great_a of_o sinner_n do_v but_o sincâ—â—â—â—â—_n 〈◊〉_d of_o siâ—â—_n abandon_v your_o wicked_a counsel_n and_o companion_n give_v up_o yourselves_o to_o a_o 〈◊〉_d stricâ—_n and_o serious_a life_n and_o by_o faith_n lie_v hold_v of_o christ_n as_o offer_v and_o hearty_o implore_v aid_n and_o assistance_n to_o this_o purpose_n and_o your_o work_n be_v do_v come_v poor_a soul_n in_o time_n for_o sake_n your_o sin_n and_o embrace_v the_o way_n of_o holiness_n that_o christ_n may_v be_v you_o i_o have_v try_v both_o way_n myself_o and_o can_v from_o my_o own_o experience_n assure_v you_o that_o the_o way_n of_o god_n be_v abundant_o the_o best_a way_n and_o heaven_n wage_n the_o best_a wage_n i_o have_v find_v more_o real_a pleasure_n and_o substantial_a delight_n in_o the_o peace_n of_o a_o good_a conscience_n in_o wellgrounded_n hope_n that_o my_o sin_n be_v pardon_v in_o serve_v god_n and_o in_o expectation_n of_o eternal_a life_n through_o christ_n than_o i_o ever_o do_v or_o can_v take_v in_o the_o folly_n and_o vanity_n of_o a_o ill-spent_a youth_n i_o confess_v i_o be_v once_o of_o your_o mind_n but_o can_v now_o assure_v you_o that_o i_o repent_v nothing_o more_o god_n have_v convince_v i_o of_o my_o folly_n and_o i_o hearty_o invite_v you_o to_o taste_v and_o try_v with_o i_o how_o good_a god_n be_v to_o repent_v retarn_v sinner_n and_o if_o what_o i_o have_v here_o through_o the_o assistance_n of_o divine_a grace_n offer_v may_v be_v to_o god_n honour_n and_o the_o advantage_n of_o poor_a soul_n it_o will_v be_v a_o sufficient_a requital_n of_o his_o pain_n who_o hearty_a desire_v it_o be_v to_o meet_v you_o all_o in_o heaven_n gervase_n disney_n london_n october_n 10._o
some_z remarkable_a passage_n in_o the_o holy_a life_n and_o death_n of_o gervase_n disney_n esq_n to_o which_o be_v add_v several_a letter_n and_o poem_n be_v dead_a yet_o speak_v heb._n 11._o 4._o london_n print_v by_o j._n d._n for_o jonathan_n robinson_n at_o the_o golden-lion_n in_o st._n paul_n churchyard_n mdcxcii_o to_o my_o honour_a mother_n mrs._n barbara_n disney_n my_o dear_a sister_n mrs._n mary_n disney_n with_o other_o near_a relation_n for_o who_o use_n this_o book_n be_v chief_o intend_v ever-honoured_n mother_n and_o dear_a sister_n etc._n etc._n the_o follow_a sheet_n which_o i_o find_v write_v by_o my_o dear_a brother_n now_o in_o glory_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n be_v dedicate_v by_o himself_o to_o you_o i_o do_v according_o with_o much_o satisfaction_n humble_o present_a then_o to_o you_o and_o though_o they_o be_v but_o the_o rough_a draught_n of_o what_o be_v intend_v by_o my_o brother_n he_o have_v begin_v himself_o and_o make_v some_o progress_n in_o the_o transcribe_v of_o they_o when_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o call_v he_o to_o himself_o yet_o in_o such_o a_o dress_n i_o be_o confident_a they_o will_v be_v no_o less_o acceptable_a and_o welcome_a to_o you_o come_v from_o that_o hand_n that_o write_v they_o for_o who_o perusal_n it_o be_v that_o they_o be_v especial_o intend_v the_o advice_n which_o my_o brother_n have_v leave_v towards_o the_o close_a of_o his_o life_n dear_a sister_n have_v he_o live_v to_o perfect_v what_o he_o have_v begin_v i_o believe_v will_v have_v be_v in_o every_o particular_a suit_v by_o himself_o to_o you_o wherein_o it_o now_o differ_v from_o your_o circumstance_n but_o my_o brother_n not_o reach_v so_o far_o with_o his_o own_o pen_n i_o think_v it_o better_a to_o transcribe_v it_o as_o it_o be_v than_o in_o any_o thing_n material_a to_o alter_v or_o vary_v from_o the_o original_a and_o that_o this_o book_n may_v reach_v the_o hand_n of_o all_o relation_n for_o who_o it_o be_v design_v and_o may_v be_v of_o use_n to_o other_o also_o into_o who_o hand_n it_o may_v by_o providence_n be_v cast_v which_o i_o be_o confident_a be_v you_o and_o i_o hope_v the_o desire_n of_o all_o that_o be_v interest_v herein_o persuade_v much_o in_o the_o make_n of_o it_o thus_o public_a and_o upon_o that_o account_n i_o have_v omit_v in_o the_o poem_n with_o some_o few_o of_o the_o letter_n what_o i_o think_v be_v less_o of_o public_a use_n or_o concernment_n and_o towards_o the_o close_a of_o all_o have_v take_v leave_n to_o add_v some_o hymn_n etc._n etc._n which_o i_o find_v write_v by_o my_o brother_n in_o another_o manuscript_n of_o he_o i_o suppose_v more_o late_o which_o i_o hope_v may_v be_v useful_a the_o lord_n accompany_v they_o all_o with_o his_o blessing_n that_o they_o may_v be_v so_o into_o who_o hand_n soever_o they_o come_v that_o by_o such_o help_n survive_v friend_n and_o all_o that_o read_v they_o may_v be_v more_o fit_a and_o ripen_v fast_o for_o that_o bless_a state_n where_o friend_n unite_v here_o in_o christ_n shall_v meet_v again_o and_o join_v together_o in_o the_o eternal_a praise_n of_o our_o great_a creator_n and_o redeemer_n of_o which_o number_n that_o so_o vile_a a_o one_o may_v be_v through_o rich_a and_o glorious_a grace_n he_o beg_v your_o prayer_n who_o be_v most_o dear_a and_o honour_a mother_n till_o death_n your_o obedient_a son_n and_o dear_a sister_n etc._n etc._n your_o affectionate_a brother_n and_o servant_n d._n disney_n july_n 4._o 1692._o to_o the_o reader_n courteous_a reader_n if_o thou_o be_v one_o acquaint_v indeed_o with_o religion_n and_o have_v so_o far_o approve_v of_o its_o law_n and_o principle_n as_o to_o give_v up_o thyself_o to_o the_o study_n and_o practice_n thereof_o thou_o do_v not_o need_v any_o one_o shall_v tell_v thou_o that_o it_o be_v a_o serious_a and_o deserve_v to_o be_v a_o command_a thing_n and_o not_o to_o be_v play_v and_o trifle_v with_o there_o be_v nothing_o in_o all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v compare_v with_o it_o because_o of_o its_o excellency_n nothing_o to_o be_v mind_v above_o it_o or_o equal_o with_o it_o because_o of_o its_o importance_n but_o alas_o alas_o how_o little_a be_v there_o of_o pure_a and_o undefiled_a religion_n upon_o earth_n in_o how_o few_o be_v it_o to_o be_v see_v in_o its_o power_n and_o glory_n a_o great_a number_n of_o person_n have_v their_o religion_n to_o choose_v be_v altogether_o indifferent_a rude_a matter_n fit_a for_o any_o form_n ready_a to_o receive_v any_o impression_n that_o shall_v be_v their_o religion_n which_o be_v most_o easy_a and_o give_v the_o great_a latitude_n and_o have_v present_a safety_n and_o temporal_a advantage_n to_o commend_v it_o to_o they_o but_o let_v the_o pretence_n of_o these_o be_v what_o they_o will_v for_o certain_a their_o belly_n be_v their_o god_n other_o be_v to_o be_v find_v who_o seem_v to_o have_v choose_v and_o pitch_v upon_o their_o religion_n and_o that_o the_o true_a one_o they_o have_v give_v up_o their_o name_n to_o christ_n make_v profession_n of_o he_o wear_v his_o livery_n but_o they_o do_v so_o untoward_o manage_v the_o matter_n that_o religion_n receive_v no_o honour_n from_o they_o nor_o be_v they_o like_v to_o reap_v any_o save_a benefit_n by_o it_o and_o doubtless_o this_o be_v one_o great_a reason_n why_o it_o gain_v so_o little_a in_o the_o world_n why_o it_o strike_v no_o more_o awe_n upon_o bystander_n why_o it_o get_v no_o more_o love_n and_o respect_n why_o it_o have_v no_o more_o follower_n no_o more_o to_o embrace_v it_o because_o though_o abundance_n of_o people_n have_v their_o tongue_n tip_v with_o it_o there_o be_v very_o little_a of_o it_o make_v visible_a in_o their_o life_n though_o they_o love_v now_o and_o then_o to_o talk_v of_o it_o they_o do_v not_o care_v to_o be_v in_o all_o thing_n govern_v by_o it_o but_o instead_o of_o that_o be_v its_o reproach_n and_o disparagement_n contradict_v their_o holy_a profession_n by_o a_o unsuitable_a and_o unworthy_a conversation_n there_o be_v very_o little_a if_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o of_o the_o power_n of_o godliness_n discover_v itself_o in_o they_o in_o the_o church_n and_o public_a assembly_n and_o during_o the_o time_n of_o religious_a worship_n there_o you_o may_v possible_o see_v in_o they_o something_o of_o solemnity_n a_o serious_a deportment_n a_o compose_a countenance_n a_o attentive_a ear_n so_o that_o one_o who_o observe_v they_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o conclude_v they_o real_o set_v for_o god_n and_o great_o devote_v to_o his_o fear_n and_o service_n but_o when_o that_o work_n be_v over_o how_o much_o be_v they_o alter_v from_o what_o they_o seem_v to_o be_v take_v notice_n of_o they_o in_o their_o converse_v with_o man_n their_o discourse_n at_o their_o table_n their_o carriage_n in_o their_o family_n nay_o can_v you_o look_v into_o their_o chamber_n and_o closet_n you_o will_v quick_o find_v too_o much_o reason_n to_o fear_v that_o religion_n and_o they_o be_v too_o great_a stranger_n o_o how_o common_a a_o thing_n be_v it_o to_o see_v in_o man_n and_o woman_n make_v a_o profession_n shameful_a neglect_v frequent_a if_o not_o constant_a omission_n of_o duty_n together_o with_o other_o great_a miscarriage_n and_o unjustifiable_a action_n notwithstanding_o that_o glorious_a light_n which_o have_v shine_v among_o we_o those_o precious_a ordinance_n which_o have_v be_v afford_v to_o we_o and_o be_v yet_o continue_v notwithstanding_o that_o holy_a communion_n which_o they_o have_v enter_v into_o and_o those_o repeat_v obligation_n which_o have_v be_v lay_v upon_o they_o both_o by_o god_n and_o themselves_o beside_o those_o various_a and_o tremendous_a judgement_n with_o which_o the_o holy_a but_o provoke_v god_n have_v follow_v we_o in_o these_o nation_n that_o by_o they_o he_o may_v humble_v we_o and_o prove_v we_o and_o make_v we_o better_o the_o strength_n and_o spirit_n of_o too_o many_o be_v exhaust_v and_o spend_v upon_o matter_n of_o less_o worth_n and_o concernment_n while_o the_o vital_n of_o christianity_n be_v miserable_o forget_v and_o overlook_v o_o that_o god_n will_v be_v gracious_o please_v to_o pour_v out_o more_o of_o his_o spirit_n on_o those_o who_o be_v call_v by_o his_o name_n that_o so_o the_o old_a godliness_n may_v be_v restore_v and_o revive_v among_o we_o and_o we_o may_v not_o only_o look_v forth_o as_o the_o morning_n and_o fair_a as_o the_o moon_n that_o have_v its_o spot_n but_o also_o as_o the_o sun_n when_o he_o be_v at_o his_o meridian_n in_o his_o brightness_n and_o height_n and_o strength_n and_o when_o once_o it_o come_v to_o that_o then_o will_v the_o church_n be_v terrible_a as_o a_o army_n with_o ranner_n our_o gracious_a god_n have_v of_o late_o be_v exalt_v in_o his_o own_o strength_n and_o triumph_v glorious_o he_o
have_v no_o worldly_a affair_n unsettle_a to_o disturb_v and_o distract_v my_o mind_n withal_o when_o upon_o the_o very_a confine_n of_o another_o world_n and_o lie_v upon_o a_o sickbed_n or_o deathbed_n when_o i_o desire_v god_n may_v have_v all_o my_o thought_n and_o all_o my_o time_n and_o will_v fain_o be_v most_o serious_a and_o intent_n upon_o soul-concerns_a this_o little_a treatise_n in_o three_o part_n contain_v the_o most_o remarkable_a passage_n of_o my_o life_n that_o occur_v to_o memory_n and_o collect_v out_o of_o my_o diary_n write_v in_o shorthand_n as_o a_o last_o legacy_n i_o hearty_o commend_v to_o thy_o perusal_n and_o other_o friend_n that_o survive_v i_o in_o it_o i_o have_v endeavour_v impartial_o to_o god_n glory_n to_o give_v the_o dark_a side_n of_o a_o vile_a wretch_n on_o earth_n as_o well_o as_o the_o bright_a i_o be_v long_o thou_o see_v a_o wanderer_n from_o god_n and_o in_o a_o most_o bewilder_v condition_n on_o that_o account_n i_o know_v not_o where_o to_o rest_v till_o i_o anchor_v on_o the_o rock_n of_o age_n have_v no_o true_a peace_n till_o through_o mercy_n i_o close_v with_o christ_n the_o prince_n of_o peace_n conscience_n then_o often_o speak_v when_o it_o be_v not_o hear_v and_o fly_v in_o my_o face_n when_o my_o study_n too_o much_o be_v to_o check_v stifle_v and_o hush_v it_o i_o be_v then_o a_o terror_n to_o myself_o and_o perhaps_o to_o other_o about_o i_o especial_o observe_v christian_n friend_n who_o fain_o will_v but_o then_o can_v not_o prevail_v with_o i_o to_o be_v serious_a strict_a and_o good_a i_o be_v too_o long_o god_n know_v in_o the_o gall_n of_o bitterness_n and_o in_o the_o bond_n of_o iniquity_n and_o o_o what_o rich_a mercy_n be_v it_o i_o be_v not_o then_o take_v from_o earth_n and_o throw_v into_o hell_n that_o through_o grace_n i_o do_v outlive_v the_o year_n of_o a_o loose_a carnal_a fresh_o and_o unregenerate_a state_n o_o my_o dear_a i_o can_v express_v the_o sorrow_n the_o terror_n the_o heartbreak_a and_o trouble_v that_o my_o youthful_a folly_n cost_v i_o in_o riperyear_n my_o closet_n be_v witness_v to_o something_o and_o my_o god_n to_o more_o but_o alas_o all_o too_o little_a if_o freegrace_n save_v i_o not_o i_o must_v yet_o perish_v but_o of_o this_o i_o nothing_o doubt_v through_o the_o merit_n and_o mediation_n of_o my_o bless_a redeemer_n to_o who_o i_o hope_v in_o heaven_n to_o eternity_n to_o give_v the_o glory_n of_o what_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o the_o comfort_n of_o the_o lord_n have_v full_o convince_v i_o that_o all_o my_o prayer_n and_o tear_n my_o search_n and_o watch_n can_v nothing_o avail_v i_o without_o christ_n god_n show_v i_o my_o lose_a and_o undo_v condition_n before_o i_o have_v think_v of_o inquire_v what_o i_o must_v do_v to_o be_v save_v or_o of_o look_v out_o after_o a_o saviour_n and_o this_o through_o mercy_n i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o can_v never_o have_v true_o a_o quiet_a minute_n till_o i_o be_v most_o sweet_o persuade_v and_o powerful_o enable_v to_o close_v with_o christ_n as_o offer_v in_o the_o gospel_n o_o richgrace_n freegrace_n and_o now_o dear-heart_n let_v i_o invite_v thou_o into_o the_o embrace_n of_o bless_a jesus_n come_v taste_n and_o try_v how_o good_a god_n be_v to_o return_v sinner_n i_o believe_v thou_o have_v well_o be_v more_o and_o more_o in_o love_n with_o christ_n enter_v into_o covenant_n with_o god_n and_o frequent_o renew_v thy_o covenant-engagement_n and_o labour_n to_o perform_v covenant-promises_a never_o think_v thou_o can_v do_v enough_o for_o that_o god_n thou_o expect_v so_o much_o from_o nay_o indeed_o thy_o all_o that_o can_v either_o make_v thou_o happy_a here_o or_o to_o eternity_n some_o few_o head_n of_o advice_n out_o of_o tender_a love_n both_o to_o thy_o soul_n and_o body_n i_o leave_v with_o thou_o 1._o settle_v thy_o temporal_a affair_n and_o wordly_o concern_v betimes_o that_o upon_o a_o deathbed_n thou_o may_v not_o be_v distract_v and_o divert_v with_o they_o from_o high_a and_o more_o besit_v employment_n i_o delay_v make_v my_o will_n too_o long_o which_o be_v no_o small_a perplexity_n to_o my_o mind_n till_o the_o year_n 1685_o when_o i_o do_v it_o 2._o if_o thou_o can_v think_v i_o worthy_a thy_o remembrance_n forget_v not_o show_v some_o kindness_n to_o such_o relation_n and_o friend_n of_o i_o who_o i_o need_v not_o name_n be_v know_v to_o thou_o who_o be_v object_n of_o pity_n and_o need_v thy_o charity_n 3._o if_o thou_o do_v not_o incline_v to_o a_o settlement_n in_o nottingham_n in_o the_o house_n i_o leave_v thou_o for_o thy_o life_n then_o be_v with_o or_o as_o near_o as_o may_v be_v some_o of_o thy_o religious_a friend_n such_o as_o may_v be_v helper_n and_o promoter_n not_o hinderer_n of_o thy_o eternal_a welfare_n 4._o if_o the_o lord_n shall_v again_o incline_v thou_o to_o marry_v dare_v not_o to_o join_v thyself_o in_o that_o relation_n to_o any_o that_o be_v not_o join_v to_o the_o lord_n marry_v one_o i_o say_v who_o in_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o best_a of_o friend_n as_o well_o as_o thou_o own_o which_o may_v in_o such_o a_o case_n deceive_v thou_o do_v true_o fear_n god_n nay_o i_o will_v advise_v thou_o to_o marry_v one_o of_o a_o healthful_a strong_a and_o sound_a constitution_n by_o who_o if_o the_o lord_n please_v thou_o may_v have_v the_o blessing_n of_o child_n for_o i_o have_v reason_n to_o suppose_v that_o some_o weakness_n and_o infirmity_n whilst_o a_o child_n and_o young_a may_v render_v i_o less_o capable_a in_o that_o respect_n 5._o if_o thou_o shall_v have_v child_n train_v they_o up_o in_o the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n help_v to_o fill_v heaven_n with_o thy_o offspring_n 6._o have_v marry_v own_o thy_o husband_n as_o thy_o head_n submit_v to_o the_o duty_n of_o a_o wife_n for_o the_o lord_n sake_n labour_n and_o pray_v for_o a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a frame_n of_o spirit_n which_o be_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o lord_n of_o great_a price_n 7._o have_v some_o eye_n over_o and_o inspection_n into_o the_o behaviour_n and_o conversation_n of_o those_o i_o be_v sometime_n entrust_v as_o guardian_n for_o jog_v and_o quicken_v loiterer_n heavenward_n mind_v they_o of_o their_o education_n counsel_n and_o instruction_n and_o how_o hopeful_a their_o beginning_n be_v and_o especial_o regard_v our_o child_n and_o dear_a niece_n brain_n 8._o be_v much_o in_o read_v and_o study_v good_a book_n these_o i_o commend_v to_o thou_o especial_o viz._n the_o holy_a bible_n with_o pool_n annotation_n swinnock'_v one_o cast_v for_o eternity_n barrett_n christian_n temper_n heywood_n heart-treasure_n reyner_n precept_n dunton_n heavenly_a pastime_n case_n god_n wait_v to_o be_v gracious_a flavel_n fountain_n of_o life_n bolton_n toss_v ship_n r._n allen_n rebuke_v to_o backsliders_a janeway_n heaven_n upon_o earth_n swinnock'_v regeneration_n love_n on_o heaven_n glory_n etc._n etc._n flavel_n saint_n indeed_o steel_n of_o uprightness_n calamy_n godly_a man_n ark_n hooker_n doubt_v soul_n etc._n etc._n hardcastle_n christian_n geography_n watson_n on_o contentment_n mede'_v almost_o christian_n doolittle_n on_o the_o sacrament_n his_o call_n to_o delay_v sinner_n most_o of_o bunyan_n work_n very_o useful_a if_o read_v without_o prejudice_n these_o book_n among_o other_o i_o have_v have_v much_o refreshment_n from_o and_o hearty_o commend_v they_o to_o thou_o 9_o do_v all_o thou_o do_v either_o in_o religious_a or_o civil_a action_n with_o a_o eye_n at_o eternity_n thus_o pray_v and_o hear_v and_o read_v and_o meditate_v and_o converse_v and_o engage_v in_o all_o secular_a affair_n and_o discharge_v all_o relative_a duty_n with_o a_o eye_n at_o eternity_n and_o this_o will_v help_v to_o make_v thou_o very_o serious_a and_o strict_a 10._o spend_v thy_o weekday_n well_o in_o the_o discharge_n of_o duty_n public_a and_o private_a keep_v a_o exact_a diary_n of_o any_o sinful_a miscarriage_n and_o be_v humble_v every_o evening_n for_o they_o take_v 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which_o time_n i_o be_v afraid_a i_o to_o you_o have_v miscarry_v i_o hearty_o rejoice_v at_o the_o lord_n goodness_n to_o you_o and_o you_o and_o through_o mercy_n can_v give_v you_o the_o same_o account_n concern_v i_o and_o i_o though_o a_o sickly_a season_n in_o many_o place_n we_o have_v through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n of_o late_o enjoy_v very_o comfortable_a opportunity_n at_o my_o house_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v god_n but_o the_o last_o meeting_n we_o have_v here_o be_v rather_o too_o large_a be_v disturb_v the_o mayor_n have_v notice_n of_o people_n come_v in_o send_v his_o sergeant_n who_o when_o the_o people_n be_v disperse_v and_o the_o minister_n go_v come_v in_o and_o desire_a liberty_n to_o search_v my_o house_n which_o i_o give_v he_o he_o tell_v i_o if_o upon_o my_o word_n i_o will_v say_v there_o be_v no_o minister_n at_o my_o house_n he_o will_v neither_o trouble_v i_o nor_o himself_o i_o assure_v he_o there_o be_v none_o he_o then_o only_o go_v into_o the_o garden_n where_o he_o pretend_v he_o see_v 300_o but_o however_o they_o not_o be_v able_a to_o make_v a_o conventicle_n of_o it_o nor_o a_o riot_n the_o jury_n find_v it_o a_o unlawful_a assembly_n the_o which_o they_o prosecute_v and_o i_o intend_v to_o traverse_v for_o they_o can_v make_v out_o any_o unlawful_a act._n the_o day_n be_v yet_o dark_a and_o the_o suffering_n of_o many_o great_a and_o sin_n at_o the_o bottom_n of_o all_o if_o the_o heart_n and_o life_n of_o professor_n be_v better_a we_o shall_v soon_o see_v better_a time_n it_o be_v repent_v work_n and_o reform_v work_n be_v our_o duty_n o_o that_o we_o can_v see_v the_o hand_n of_o god_n in_o all_o that_o befall_v we_o and_o turn_v to_o he_o that_o smite_v o_o that_o we_o can_v with_o faith_n and_o patience_n look_v up_o to_o the_o rock_n of_o age_n when_o foundation_n seem_v out_o of_o course_n etc._n etc._n a_o copy_n of_o a_o letter_n to_o madam_n l._n upon_o the_o death_n of_o her_o kinswoman_n and_o 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lord_n and_o i_o believe_v know_v well_o that_o new_a duty_n be_v incumbent_a upon_o you_o etc._n etc._n a_o letter_n to_o my_o mother_n upon_o the_o death_n of_o my_o sister_n d._n may_v 24_o 1690._o ever_o honour_a mother_n still_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v breach_n upon_o our_o family_n the_o sudden_a and_o surprise_v news_n of_o our_o dear_a sister_n death_n come_v to_o we_o this_o day_n by_o mr._n b._n and_o i_o can_v not_o omit_v send_v a_o few_o line_n to_o you_o by_o post_n this_o night_n i_o know_v honour_a mother_n the_o stroke_n lie_v exceed_o heavy_a upon_o you_o i_o be_o afraid_a much_o too_o heavy_a be_v very_o well_o acquaint_v with_o the_o tenderness_n of_o your_o affection_n and_o the_o work_n of_o your_o bowel_n to_o relation_n but_o i_o pray_v dear_a mother_n refuse_v not_o to_o be_v comfort_v i_o be_o persuade_v you_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o sorrow_n as_o one_o without_o hope_n for_o she_o who_o i_o believe_v now_o sleep_v in_o the_o bosom_n of_o she_o and_o our_o dear_a redeemer_n our_o god_n have_v do_v his_o pleasure_n let_v we_o now_o labour_n to_o do_v our_o duty_n and_o be_v content_a we_o hearty_o wish_v our_o self_n with_o you_o but_o can_v as_o yet_o accomplish_v that_o desire_n be_v unprovided_a of_o horse_n and_o a_o servant_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o may_v be_v we_o do_v purpose_n it_o the_o good_a lord_n sanctify_v this_o stroke_n to_o we_o all_o and_o â—it_n we_o for_o our_o latter_a end_n and_o grant_v that_o we_o may_v be_v follower_n of_o those_o who_o through_o faith_n and_o patience_n inherit_v the_o promise_n the_o enclose_v i_o desire_v may_v be_v send_v to_o my_o poor_a afflict_a brother_n to_o who_o relief_n and_o support_n i_o desire_v to_o contribute_v something_o though_o shortness_n of_o time_n suffer_v not_o enlargement_n far_o than_o to_o present_v all_o our_o humble_a duty_n to_o yourself_o and_o honour_a aunt_n with_o service_n to_o all_o friend_n i_o rest_v honour_a mother_n your_o obedient_a son_n 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accommodation_n but_o much_o better_a now_o in_o heaven_n have_v better_a place_n better_a company_n better_a employment_n tâ—an_v a_o vain_a world_n ever_o do_v or_o can_v afford_v what_o occur_v in_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 29_o 31._o equal_o concern_v both_o you_o and_o i_o who_o condition_n in_o this_o case_n hauâ—_n be_v the_o very_a same_o though_o now_o different_a you_o must_v labour_v to_o be_v and_o carry_v as_o if_o you_o have_v not_o lose_v a_o wife_n and_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v no_o wife_n time_n be_v short_a and_o life_n shoâ—t_o and_o relative_a comfort_n be_v transient_a and_o fluid_a thing_n therefore_o your_o sorrow_n must_v be_v moderate_a for_o your_o loss_n and_o my_o â—oys_n be_v as_o if_o they_o be_v not_o seeing_z we_o and_o we_o be_v to_o fall_v and_o part_n and_o pass_v away_o in_o our_o course_n my_o dear_a brother_n labour_v â—or_a a_o christian-carriage_n under_o so_o sad_a a_o cross_n o_o that_o what_o you_o want_v in_o the_o creature_n may_v be_v abundant_o 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