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as_o false_a &_o heretical_a man_n know_v the_o beginning_n of_o sin_n but_o who_o bound_v the_o issue_n thereof_o spira_n have_v once_o lose_v footing_n go_v down_o amain_o he_o can_v stay_v nor_o gainsay_v the_o legate_n but_o promise_v to_o accomplish_v his_o whole_a will_n and_o pleasure_n he_o soon_o address_v himself_o for_o his_o journey_n and_o be_v onward_o in_o the_o way_n bethink_v himself_o of_o large_a spoil_n he_o have_v bring_v away_o from_o the_o conflict_n with_o the_o legate_n what_o glorious_a testimony_n he_o have_v give_v of_o his_o great_a faith_n and_o constancy_n in_o christ_n cause_n and_o to_o be_v plain_a how_o impious_o he_o have_v deny_v christ_n and_o his_o gospel_n at_o venice_n and_o what_o he_o promise_v to_o do_v further_o in_o his_o own_o country_n and_o thus_o partly_o with_o fear_n and_o partly_o with_o shame_n be_v confound_v he_o think_v he_o hear_v a_o voice_n speak_v unto_o he_o in_o this_o manner_n spira_n what_o do_v thou_o here_o whither_o 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somewhat_o for_o he_o remember_v man_n that_o the_o suffering_n of_o this_o present_a life_n be_v not_o comparable_a to_o the_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v if_o thou_o suffer_v with_o he_o thou_o shall_v also_o reign_v with_o he_o thou_o can_v not_o answer_v for_o what_o thou_o have_v already_o do_v nevertheless_o the_o gate_n of_o mercy_n be_v not_o quite_o shut_v take_v heed_n that_o thou_o heap_a not_o sin_v upon_o sin_n lest_o thou_o repent_v when_o it_o will_v be_v too_o late_o now_o be_v spira_n in_o a_o wilderness_n of_o doubt_n not_o know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v he_o nor_o what_o to_o do_v yet_o be_v arrive_v in_o his_o own_o country_n and_o among_o his_o friend_n with_o shame_n enough_o he_o relate_v what_o he_o have_v do_v and_o what_o he_o have_v further_o promise_v to_o do_v and_o how_o the_o terror_n of_o god_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o the_o terror_n of_o this_o world_n on_o the_o other_o side_n do_v continual_o rack_n he_o and_o therefore_o he_o desire_v of_o they_o advise_v in_o this_o so_o doubtful_a a_o case_n his_o friend_n upon_o small_a deliberation_n answer_v that_o it_o be_v requisite_a he_o shall_v take_v heed_n that_o he_o do_v not_o in_o any_o wise_a betray_v his_o wife_n and_o child_n and_o all_o his_o friend_n into_o danger_n see_v that_o by_o so_o small_a a_o matter_n as_o the_o recite_v of_o a_o little_a schedule_n which_o may_v be_v do_v in_o less_o space_n then_o half_a a_o hour_n he_o may_v both_o free_v himself_o from_o present_a danger_n and_o preserve_v many_o that_o depend_v upon_o he_o add_v moreover_o that_o he_o can_v get_v no_o credit_n in_o relent_v from_o that_o which_o he_o have_v already_o in_o great_a part_n perform_v before_o the_o legate_n at_o venice_n and_o that_o in_o the_o perfect_a accomplish_n thereof_o little_a or_o no_o discredit_n can_v arise_v more_o than_o what_o by_o the_o former_a action_n already_o he_o have_v sustain_v on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o he_o do_v not_o perform_v his_o 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eternal_a damnation_n he_o tremble_v and_o quake_v in_o body_n and_o mind_n fall_v down_o in_o a_o swoon_n relief_n be_v at_o hand_n for_o the_o body_n but_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o he_o never_o find_v any_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d mind_n but_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d in_o uncessant_a torment_n 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d profess_v that_o he_o be_v captive_v under_o the_o revenge_a hand_n of_o the_o great_a god_n that_o he_o hear_v continual_o that_o fearful_a sentence_n of_o christ_n that_o just_a judge_n that_o he_o know_v he_o be_v utter_o undo_v that_o he_o can_v neither_o hope_v for_o grace_n nor_o christ_n intercession_n with_o the_o god_n the_o father_n in_o his_o behalf_n thus_o be_v his_o fault_n ever_o heavy_a on_o his_o heart_n and_o ever_o his_o judgement_n before_o his_o eye_n now_o begin_v his_o friend_n some_o of_o they_o to_o repent_v too_o late_o of_o their_o rash_a counsel_n other_o not_o look_v so_o high_a as_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n lay_v all_o the_o blame_n upon_o his_o melancholic_a constitution_n that_o overshadow_v his_o judgement_n wrought_v in_o he_o a_o kind_n of_o madness_n every_o on_o censure_v as_o his_o fancy_n lead_v he_o yet_o for_o remedy_n all_o agree_v in_o this_o to_o use_v both_o the_o wholesome_a help_n of_o physician_n and_o the_o pious_a advice_n of_o divine_n and_o therefore_o think_v it_o meet_v to_o convey_v he_o to_o milan_n a_o university_n of_o note_n where_o plenty_n of_o all_o manner_n of_o mean_n be_v to_o be_v have_v this_o they_o according_o do_v both_o with_o his_o wife_n child_n and_o whole_a family_n other_o also_o of_o his_o friend_n accompany_v he_o and_o be_v arrive_v at_o the_o house_n of_o one_o james_n ardin_n in_o saint_n leonard_n parish_n they_o send_v for_o three_o physician_n of_o most_o note_n who_o upon_o due_a observation_n of_o the_o effect_n &_o of_o other_o symptom_n of_o his_o disease_n and_o some_o private_a conference_n one_o with_o another_o among_o themselves_o return_v their_o verdict_n in_o this_o manner_n viz._n that_o they_o can_v not_o discern_v that_o his_o body_n be_v afflict_v with_o any_o danger_n or_o distemper_n original_o from_o itself_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o overrule_a of_o any_o humour_n but_o that_o this_o malady_n of_o his_o do_v arise_v from_o some_o grief_n or_o passion_n of_o his_o mind_n which_o be_v overburthen_v do_v so_o oppress_v the_o spirit_n as_o they_o want_v free_a passage_n stir_v up_o many_o ill_a humour_n whereof_o the_o body_n of_o man_n be_v full_a &_o these_o ascend_a up_o into_o the_o brain_n trouble_v the_o fancy_n shadow_v the_o seat_n of_o the_o judgement_n and_o so_o corrupt_v it_o this_o be_v the_o state_n of_o his_o disease_n and_o that_o outward_a part_n that_o be_v visible_a to_o the_o eye_n of_o nature_n this_o they_o endeavour_v to_o reform_v by_o purgation_n either_o to_o consume_v or_o at_o least_o to_o divert_v the_o course_n of_o those_o humour_n from_o the_o brain_n but_o all_o their_o skill_n effect_v nothing_o which_o spira_n note_v say_v alas_o poor_a man_n how_o far_o wide_a be_v you_o do_v you_o think_v that_o this_o disease_n be_v to_o be_v cure_v by_o potion_n believe_v i_o there_o must_v be_v another_o manner_n of_o medicine_n it_o be_v neither_o potion_n plaster_n nor_o drug_n that_o can_v help_v a_o faint_a soul_n cast_v down_o with_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n it_o be_v only_a christ_n that_o must_v be_v the_o physician_n and_o the_o gospel_n the_o sole_a antidote_n the_o physician_n easy_o believe_v he_o after_o they_o have_v understand_v the_o whole_a truth_n of_o the_o matter_n and_o therefore_o they_o wish_v he_o to_o seek_v some_o spiritual_a comfort_n by_o this_o time_n the_o fame_n of_o this_o man_n be_v spread_v over_o all_o milan_n and_o the_o neighbour_n country_n partly_o for_o that_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o esteem_n partly_o because_o as_o the_o disease_n so_o the_o occasion_n be_v especial_o remarkable_a for_o this_o be_v not_o do_v in_o a_o corner_n so_o as_o daily_o there_o come_v multitude_n of_o all_o sort_n to_o see_v he_o some_o out_o of_o curiosity_n only_o to_o see_v and_o discourse_v some_o out_o of_o a_o pious_a desire_n to_o try_v all_o mean_n that_o may_v reduce_v he_o to_o comfort_v again_o or_o at_o least_o to_o benefit_v themselves_o by_o such_o a_o spectacle_n of_o misery_n and_o of_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n among_o these_o paulus_n vergerius_n bishop_n of_o justinopolis_n and_o mattheus_fw-la gribauldus_n deserve_v especial_o to_o be_v name_v as_o the_o most_o principal_a labourer_n for_o this_o man_n comfort_n they_o find_v he_o now_o about_o fifty_o year_n of_o age_n neither_o affect_v with_o the_o dotage_n of_o old_a age_n nor_o with_o the_o unconstant_a headstrong_a passion_n of_o youth_n but_o in_o
the_o strength_n of_o his_o experience_n and_o judgement_n in_o a_o burn_a heat_n call_v excessive_o for_o drink_n yet_o his_o understanding_n active_a quick_a of_o apprehension_n witty_a in_o discourse_n above_o his_o ordinary_a manner_n and_o judicious_o opposite_a his_o friend_n labour_v he_o by_o all_o fair_a mean_n to_o receive_v some_o nourishment_n which_o he_o obstinate_o gainsay_v they_o forcible_o infuse_v some_o liquid_a sustenance_n into_o his_o mouth_n most_o of_o which_o he_o spit_v out_o again_o exceed_o chafe_a and_o in_o this_o fret_a mood_n of_o he_o say_v as_o it_o be_v true_a that_o all_o thing_n work_v for_o the_o best_a to_o those_o that_o love_n god_n 28._o so_o to_o the_o wicked_a all_o be_v contrary_a for_o whereas_o a_o plentiful_a offspring_n be_v the_o blessing_n of_o god_n and_o his_o reward_n be_v a_o stay_n to_o the_o weak_a estate_n of_o their_o age_a parent_n to_o i_o they_o be_v a_o cause_n of_o bitterness_n and_o vexation_n they_o do_v strive_v to_o make_v i_o tire_v out_o this_o misery_n i_o will_v fain_o be_v at_o a_o end_n i_o deserve_v not_o this_o deal_n at_o their_o hand_n o_o that_o i_o be_v go_v from_o hence_o that_o some_o body_n will_v let_v out_o this_o weary_a soul_n his_o friend_n salute_v he_o and_o ask_v he_o what_o he_o conceive_v to_o be_v the_o cause_n of_o his_o disease_n forthwith_o he_o break_v out_o into_o a_o lamentable_a discourse_n of_o the_o passage_n former_o relate_v &_o that_o with_o such_o passionate_a elocution_n that_o he_o cause_v many_o to_o weep_v &_o most_o to_o tremble_v they_o contrary_o to_o comfort_v he_o propound_v many_o of_o god_n promise_n record_v in_o the_o scripture_n and_o many_o example_n of_o god_n mercy_n my_o sin_n say_v he_o be_v great_a than_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n nay_o answer_v they_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v above_o all_o sin_n god_n will_v have_v all_o man_n to_o be_v save_v it_o be_v true_a quoth_v he_o he_o will_v have_v all_o that_o he_o have_v elect_v abee_n sâ—aved_v he_o will_v not_o have_v damn_a reprobate_n to_o be_v save_v i_o be_o one_o of_o that_o number_n i_o know_v it_o for_o i_o willing_o and_o against_o my_o knowledge_n deny_v christ_n and_o i_o feel_v that_o he_o harden_v and_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o hope_n after_o some_o silence_n one_o ask_v he_o whether_o he_o do_v not_o believe_v that_o doctrine_n to_o be_v true_a for_o which_o he_o be_v accuse_v before_o the_o legate_n he_o answer_v i_o do_v believe_v it_o when_o i_o deny_v it_o but_o now_o i_o neither_o believe_v that_o nor_o the_o doctrine_n of_o the_o roman_a church_n i_o believe_v nothing_o i_o have_v no_o faith_n no_o trust_n no_o hope_n i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n like_o cain_n or_o judas_n who_o cast_v away_o all_o hope_n of_o mercy_n fall_v into_o despair_n and_o my_o friend_n do_v i_o great_a wrong_n that_o they_o suffer_v i_o not_o to_o go_v to_o the_o place_n of_o unbeliever_n as_o i_o just_o deserve_v here_o they_o begin_v sharp_o to_o rebuke_v he_o require_v and_o charge_v he_o that_o in_o any_o wise_a he_o do_v not_o violate_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n to_o which_o he_o answer_v the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v exceed_o large_a and_o extend_v to_o all_o the_o elect_a but_o not_o to_o i_o or_o any_o like_a to_o i_o who_o be_v seal_v up_o to_o wrath_n 15._o i_o tell_v you_o i_o deserve_v it_o my_o own_o conscience_n condemn_v i_o what_o need_v any_o other_o judge_n christ_n come_v say_v they_o to_o take_v away_o sin_n and_o call_v for_o a_o book_n they_o read_v unto_o he_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n and_o come_v to_o his_o nail_v to_o the_o cross_n spira_n say_v this_o indeed_o be_v comfortable_a to_o such_o as_o be_v elect_v but_o as_o for_o i_o wretch_n they_o be_v nothing_o but_o grief_n and_o torment_n because_o i_o contemn_v they_o thus_o roar_v for_o grief_n &_o toss_v himself_o up_o &_o down_o upon_o the_o bed_n as_o he_o lay_v he_o entreat_v they_o to_o read_v no_o more_o as_o gribauldus_n be_v come_v to_o see_v he_o vergerius_n say_v to_o spira_n dear_a sir_n here_o be_v doctor_n gribauldus_n a_o godly_a and_o faithful_a friend_n of_o you_o come_v to_o see_v you_o he_o be_v welcome_a say_v he_o but_o he_o shall_v find_v i_o ill_o gribauldus_n reply_v sir_n this_o be_v but_o a_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n who_o do_v what_o he_o can_v to_o vex_v you_o but_o turn_v you_o to_o god_n with_o your_o whole_a heart_n and_o he_o be_v ready_a to_o show_v you_o mercy_n the_o earth_n you_o know_v be_v full_a of_o his_o mercy_n it_o be_v he_o that_o have_v say_v 119._o that_o as_o often_o as_o a_o sinner_n repent_v of_o his_o sin_n he_o will_v remember_v his_o sin_n no_o more_o consider_v this_o in_o the_o example_n of_o peter_n that_o be_v christ_n familiar_a and_o a_o apostle_n and_o yet_o deny_v he_o thrice_o with_o a_o oath_n and_o yet_o god_n be_v merciful_a unto_o he_o consider_v the_o thief_n that_o spend_v his_o whole_a life_n in_o wickedness_n and_o for_o all_o that_o do_v not_o god_n gracious_o respect_v he_o in_o the_o last_o minute_n of_o his_o life_n be_v the_o lord_n hand_n now_o shorten_v that_o it_o can_v save_v to_o this_o spira_n answer_v 61._o if_o peter_n grieve_v and_o repent_v it_o be_v because_o christ_n behold_v he_o with_o a_o merciful_a eye_n and_o in_o that_o he_o be_v pardon_v it_o be_v not_o because_o he_o weep_v but_o because_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o he_o but_o god_n respect_v not_o i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n i_o feel_v no_o comfort_n can_v enter_v into_o my_o heart_n there_o be_v no_o place_n there_o but_o only_o for_o torment_n and_o vexing_n of_o spirit_n i_o tell_v you_o my_o case_n be_v proper_o i_o own_o no_o man_n ever_o be_v in_o the_o like_a plight_n and_o therefore_o my_o estate_n be_v fearful_a then_o roar_v out_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o his_o spirit_n say_v it_o be_v a_o fearful_a thing_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o the_o live_a god_n the_o violence_n of_o his_o passion_n and_o action_n suitable_a do_v amaze_v many_o of_o the_o beholder_n insomuch_o as_o some_o of_o they_o say_v with_o a_o whisper_a voice_n that_o he_o be_v possess_v he_o overhear_v it_o say_v do_v you_o doubt_v it_o i_o have_v a_o whole_a legion_n of_o devil_n that_o take_v up_o their_o dwelling_n within_o i_o and_o possess_v i_o as_o their_o own_o and_o just_o too_o for_o i_o have_v deny_v christ_n whether_o do_v you_o that_o willing_o or_o not_o say_v they_o that_o be_v nothing_o to_o the_o purpose_n say_v spira_n christ_n say_v whosoever_o deny_v i_o before_o man_n 33._o he_o will_v i_o deny_v before_o my_o father_n which_o be_v in_o heaven_n christ_n will_v not_o be_v deny_v no_o not_o in_o word_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v enough_o though_o in_o heart_n i_o never_o deny_v he_o they_o observe_v his_o distemper_n to_o arise_v from_o the_o sense_n and_o horror_n of_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n ask_v he_o whether_o he_o think_v there_o be_v worse_a pain_n than_o what_o he_o endure_v for_o the_o present_a he_o say_v that_o he_o know_v there_o be_v far_o worse_a pain_n than_o those_o that_o he_o then_o suffer_v 1._o for_o the_o wicked_a shall_v rise_v to_o their_o judgement_n but_o they_o shall_v not_o stand_v in_o judgement_n this_o i_o tremble_v to_o think_v of_o yet_o do_v i_o desire_v nothing_o more_o then_o that_o i_o may_v come_v to_o that_o place_n where_o i_o may_v be_v sure_a to_o feel_v the_o worst_a and_o to_o be_v free_v from_o fear_n of_o worse_a to_o come_v i_o but_o you_o be_v to_o consider_v say_v one_o that_o those_o opinion_n for_o which_o you_o be_v accuse_v before_o the_o legate_n be_v impious_a and_o therefore_o you_o be_v not_o to_o think_v you_o deny_v christ_n but_o rather_o that_o you_o confess_v he_o acknowledge_v the_o infallible_a truth_n of_o the_o catholic_a church_n true_o say_v he_o when_o i_o do_v deny_v those_o opinion_n i_o do_v think_v they_o to_o be_v true_a &_o yet_o i_o do_v deny_v they_o go_v to_o say_z other_o now_o then_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v not_o now_o i_o can_v say_v he_o god_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o believe_v they_o nor_o trust_v in_o his_o mercy_n what_o will_v you_o have_v i_o do_v i_o will_v fain_o attain_v to_o this_o power_n but_o can_v though_o i_o shall_v present_o be_v burn_v for_o it_o but_o why_o do_v you_o say_v the_o other_o esteem_v this_o so_o grievous_a a_o sin_n when_o as_o the_o learned_a legate_n constrain_v you_o to_o it_o which_o he_o sure_o will_v not_o have_v do_v if_o your_o former_a opinion_n have_v not_o be_v erroneous_a no_o good_a francis_n the_o devil_n beset_v thou_o let_v not_o
therefore_o the_o grievousnesse_n of_o thy_o sin_n if_o any_o such_o be_v amaze_v thou_o you_o say_v right_a reply_v he_o the_o devil_n have_v possess_v i_o and_o god_n have_v leave_v i_o to_o his_o power_n for_o i_o find_v i_o can_v neither_o believe_v the_o gospel_n nor_o trust_v in_o god_n mercy_n i_o have_v sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o god_n by_o his_o immutable_a decree_n have_v bind_v i_o over_o to_o perpetual_a punishment_n without_o any_o hope_n of_o pardon_n 4._o it_o be_v true_a that_o the_o greatness_n of_o sin_n or_o the_o multitude_n of_o they_o can_v bind_v god_n mercy_n all_o those_o many_o sin_n that_o in_o the_o former_a part_n of_o my_o life_n i_o have_v commit_v then_o do_v not_o so_o much_o trouble_v i_o for_o i_o trust_v that_o god_n will_v not_o lay_v they_o to_o my_o charge_n but_o now_o have_v sin_v against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n god_n have_v take_v away_o from_o i_o all_o power_n of_o repentance_n &_o now_o bring_v all_o my_o sin_n to_o remembrance_n 10._o and_o thus_o guilty_a of_o one_o guilty_a of_o all_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v no_o matter_n whether_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a or_o small_a few_o or_o many_o they_o be_v such_o as_o christ_n blood_n nor_o god_n mercy_n belong_v to_o i_o 18._o god_n will_v have_v mercy_n on_o who_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n and_o who_o he_o will_v he_o harden_v this_o be_v it_o that_o gnaw_v my_o heart_n he_o have_v harden_v i_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o daily_o more_o and_o more_o do_v harden_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_o out_o of_o hope_n i_o feel_v it_o and_o therefore_o can_v but_o despair_v i_o tell_v you_o there_o be_v never_o such_o a_o monster_n as_o i_o be_o never_o be_v man_n alive_a a_o spectacle_n of_o so_o exceed_a misery_n i_o know_v that_o justification_n be_v to_o be_v expect_v by_o christ_n and_o i_o deny_v and_o abjure_v it_o to_o the_o end_n i_o may_v keep_v this_o frail_a life_n from_o adversity_n and_o my_o child_n from_o poverty_n and_o now_o behold_v how_o bitter_a this_o life_n be_v to_o i_o and_o god_n only_o know_v what_o shall_v become_v of_o this_o my_o family_n but_o sure_o no_o good_a be_v likely_a to_o betide_v it_o but_o rather_o daily_o worse_a and_o worse_o and_o such_o a_o ruin_n at_o the_o length_n as_o that_o one_o stone_n shall_v not_o be_v leave_v on_o another_o but_o why_o shall_v you_o say_v gribauldus_n conceit_n so_o deep_o of_o your_o sin_n see_v you_o can_v but_o know_v that_o many_o have_v deny_v christ_n yet_o never_o fall_v into_o despair_n well_o say_v he_o i_o can_v see_v no_o ground_n of_o comfort_n for_o such_o neither_o can_v i_o warrant_v they_o from_o god_n revenge_a hand_n in_o wrath_n though_o it_o please_v god_n yet_o to_o suffer_v such_o to_o be_v in_o peace_n and_o beside_o there_o will_v a_o time_n of_o change_n come_v and_o then_o they_o shall_v be_v thorough_o try_v and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o yet_o god_n be_v just_a in_o make_v i_o a_o example_n to_o other_o and_o i_o can_v just_o complain_v there_o be_v no_o punishment_n so_o great_a but_o i_o have_v deserve_v it_o for_o this_o so_o heinous_a offence_n i_o assure_v you_o it_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n to_o deny_v christ_n and_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o ordinary_a then_o common_o man_n do_v conceive_v of_o it_o be_v not_o a_o denial_n make_v before_o a_o magistrate_n as_o it_o be_v with_o i_o for_o as_o often_o as_o a_o christian_a do_v dissemble_v the_o know_a truth_n as_o often_o as_o he_o approve_v of_o false_a worship_n by_o present_v himself_o at_o it_o so_o often_o as_o he_o do_v not_o thing_n worthy_a of_o his_o call_n or_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v unworthy_a of_o his_o call_n so_o often_o he_o deny_v christ_n thus_o do_v i_o and_o therefore_o be_o just_o punish_v for_o it_o your_o estate_n quoth_v gribauldus_n be_v not_o so_o strange_a as_o you_o make_v it_o job_n be_v so_o far_o go_v that_o he_o complain_v god_n have_v set_v he_o as_o a_o mark_n against_o he_o and_o david_n that_o be_v a_o man_n after_o god_n own_o heart_n complain_v often_o that_o god_n have_v forsake_v he_o and_o be_v become_v his_o enemy_n yet_o both_o receive_v comfort_n again_o comfort_v yourself_o therefore_o god_n will_v come_v at_o length_n though_o he_o now_o seem_v far_o off_o o_o brother_n answer_v spira_n i_o believe_v all_o this_o the_o devil_n believe_v and_o tremble_v but_o david_n be_v ever_o elect_v and_o dear_o belove_v of_o god_n and_o though_o he_o fall_v yet_o god_n take_v not_o utter_o away_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o therefore_o be_v hear_v when_o he_o pray_v lord_n take_v not_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n from_o i_o but_o i_o be_o in_o another_o case_n be_v ever_o accurse_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n neither_o can_v i_o pray_v as_o he_o do_v because_o his_o holy_a spirit_n be_v quite_o go_v and_o can_v be_v recall_v &_o therefore_o i_o know_v i_o shall_v live_v in_o continual_a hardness_n so_o long_o as_o i_o live_v o_o that_o i_o may_v feel_v but_o the_o least_o sense_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n to_o i_o though_o but_o for_o one_o small_a moment_n as_o i_o now_o feel_v his_o heavy_a wrath_n that_o burn_v like_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n within_o i_o and_o afflict_v my_o conscience_n with_o pang_n unutterable_a very_o desperation_n be_v hell_n itself_o here_o gribauldus_n say_v i_o do_v very_o believe_v spira_n that_o god_n have_v so_o severe_o chastise_v you_o in_o this_o life_n correct_v you_o in_o mercy_n here_o that_o he_o may_v spare_v you_o hereafter_o and_o that_o he_o have_v mercy_n seal_v up_o for_o you_o in_o time_n to_o to_o come_v nay_o say_v spira_n hence_o do_v i_o know_v that_o i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n because_o he_o afflict_v i_o with_o hardness_n of_o heart_n oh_o that_o my_o body_n have_v suffer_v all_o my_o life_n long_o so_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o release_v my_o soul_n and_o ease_v my_o conscience_n this_o burden_a conscience_n gribauldus_n be_v desirous_a to_o ease_v his_o mind_n from_o the_o continual_a meditation_n of_o his_o sin_n as_o also_o to_o sound_v how_o for_o the_o present_a he_o stand_v affect_v to_o the_o romish_a church_n ask_v he_o what_o he_o think_v become_v of_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n so_o soon_o as_o they_o depart_v out_o of_o the_o body_n to_o which_o he_o answer_v although_o this_o be_v not_o so_o full_o reveal_v in_o scripture_n yet_o i_o very_o believe_v that_o the_o soul_n of_o the_o elect_n go_v present_o to_o the_o kingdom_n of_o glory_n and_o not_o that_o sleep_n with_o the_o body_n as_o some_o do_v imagine_v very_o well_o say_v one_o of_o the_o spectator_n why_o do_v the_o scripture_n than_o say_v that_o god_n bring_v down_o to_o hell_n 6._o and_o raise_v up_o see_v it_o can_v be_v mean_v of_o the_o estate_n of_o the_o soul_n after_o death_n which_o as_o thou_o say_v either_o go_v to_o heaven_n without_o change_n or_o to_o hell_n without_o redemption_n it_o must_v be_v understand_v of_o the_o estate_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n like_o that_o wherein_o thou_o be_v at_o this_o present_a and_o oftentimes_o we_o see_v that_o god_n suffer_v man_n to_o fall_v into_o the_o jaw_n of_o despair_n and_o yet_o raise_v they_o up_o again_o and_o therefore_o despair_v not_o but_o hope_v it_o shall_v be_v even_o thus_o with_o thou_o in_o his_o good_a time_n this_o be_v the_o work_n quoth_v spira_n this_o the_o labour_n for_o i_o tell_v you_o when_o i_o at_o venice_n do_v first_o abjure_v my_o profession_n and_o so_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v a_o indenture_n the_o spirit_n of_o god_n often_o admonish_v i_o and_o when_o at_o cittadella_n i_o do_v as_o it_o be_v set_v to_o my_o seal_n the_o spirit_n of_o god_n often_o suggest_v to_o i_o do_v not_o write_v spira_n do_v not_o seal_v yet_o i_o resist_v the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o do_v both_o and_o at_o that_o very_a present_a i_o do_v evident_o feel_v a_o wound_n inflict_v in_o my_o very_a will_n so_o although_o i_o can_v say_v i_o will_v believe_v yet_o can_v i_o not_o say_v i_o will_v believe_v god_n have_v deny_v i_o the_o power_n of_o will_n and_o it_o befall_v i_o in_o this_o my_o miserable_a estate_n as_o with_o one_o that_o be_v fast_o in_o iron_n and_o his_o friend_n come_v to_o see_v he_o do_v pity_n his_o estate_n and_o do_v persuade_v he_o to_o shake_v off_o his_o setter_n and_o to_o come_v out_o of_o his_o bond_n which_o god_n know_v he_o will_v fain_o do_v but_o can_v this_o be_v my_o very_a case_n you_o persuade_v i_o to_o believe_v how_o fain_o will_v i_o do_v it_o but_o can_v o_o now_o i_o can_v then_o violent_o grasp_a his_o hand_n together_o and_o raise_v