do_v it_o resolute_o and_o cheerful_o and_o scorn_v to_o run_v away_o and_o turn_v your_o back_n that_o you_o may_v do_v it_o without_o censure_n where_o you_o be_v unknown_a use_v well_o the_o mean_v god_n here_o vouchsafe_v you_o and_o do_v your_o duty_n with_o a_o quiet_a mind_n and_o follow_v god_n in_o your_o remove_n §_o 8._o much_o more_o of_o such_o counsel_n she_o transcribe_v but_o i_o forbear_v recite_v more_a she_o end_v those_o paper_n with_o these_o word_n the_o best_a creature-affection_n have_v a_o mixture_n of_o creature-imperfection_n and_o therefore_o need_v some_o gall_n to_o wean_v we_o from_o the_o faulty_a part_n god_n must_v be_v know_v to_o be_v god_n our_o rest_n and_o therefore_o the_o best_a creature_n to_o be_v but_o a_o creature_n o_o miserable_a world_n how_o long_o must_v i_o continue_v in_o it_o and_o why_o be_v this_o wretched_a heart_n so_o loath_a to_o leave_v it_o where_o we_o can_v have_v no_o fire_n without_o smoke_n and_o our_o dear_a friend_n must_v be_v our_o great_a grief_n and_o when_o we_o begin_v in_o hope_n and_o love_n and_o joy_n before_o we_o be_v aware_a we_o fall_v into_o a_o answerable_a measure_n of_o distress_n learn_v by_o experience_n when_o any_o condition_n be_v inordinate_o or_o excessive_o sweet_a to_o thou_o to_o say_v from_o hence_o must_v be_v my_o sorrow_n o_o how_o true_a chap._n v._o her_o temper_n occasion_v these_o trouble_n of_o mind_n §_o 1._o the_o soul_n while_o in_o the_o body_n work_v much_o according_a to_o the_o body_n disposition_n 1._o she_o be_v of_o a_o extraordinary_a sharp_a and_o pierce_a wit._n 2._o she_o have_v a_o natural_a reservedness_n and_o secrecy_n increase_v by_o think_v it_o necessary_a prudence_n not_o to_o be_v open_a by_o which_o mean_n she_o be_v oft_o misunderstand_a by_o her_o near_a friend_n and_o consequent_o often_o cross_v and_o disappoint_v by_o those_o that_o will_v have_v please_v she_o and_o as_o she_o can_v understand_v man_n much_o by_o their_o look_n and_o hint_n so_o she_o expect_v all_o shall_v know_v her_o mind_n without_o she_o express_v it_o which_o breed_v her_o frustration_n and_o discontent_n 3._o and_o she_o have_v a_o natural_a tenderness_n and_o troubledness_n of_o mind_n upon_o the_o cross_n of_o her_o just_a desire_n too_o quick_a and_o ungovernable_a a_o sense_n of_o displease_a word_n or_o deed_n 4._o she_o have_v a_o disease_a unresistible_a fearfulness_n her_o quick_a and_o too_o sensible_a nature_n be_v over-timerous_a and_o to_o increase_v it_o she_o say_v she_o be_v four_o time_n before_o i_o know_v she_o in_o danger_n of_o death_n of_o which_o one_o be_v by_o the_o smallpox_n and_o more_o to_o increase_v it_o her_o mother_n house_n apply-castle_n near_o wellington_n be_v a_o garrison_n it_o be_v storm_v while_o she_o be_v in_o it_o and_o part_n of_o the_o house_n about_o it_o burn_v and_o man_n lay_v kill_v before_o her_o face_n and_o all_o of_o they_o threaten_v and_o strip_v of_o their_o clothing_n so_o that_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o borrow_v clothes_n 5._o and_o the_o great_a work_n upon_o her_o soul_n in_o her_o coversion_n move_v all_o her_o passion_n 6._o and_o then_o her_o dangerous_a sickness_n and_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n to_o so_o young_a a_o convert_n must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a awake_n thing_n and_o come_v on_o she_o before_o she_o have_v any_o assurance_n of_o her_o justification_n do_v increase_v her_o fear_n 7._o and_o in_o this_o case_n she_o live_v in_o the_o churchyard_n side_n where_o she_o see_v all_o the_o burial_n of_o the_o dead_a and_o keep_v a_o death_n head_n a_o skull_n in_o her_o closet_n still_o before_o she_o and_o other_o such_o mortify_a spectacle_n increase_v her_o sad_a disposition_n §_o 2._o and_o the_o excessive_a love_n which_o she_o have_v to_o her_o mother_n do_v much_o increase_v her_o grief_n when_o she_o expect_v death_n §_o 3._o though_o she_o call_v it_o melancholy_n that_o by_o all_o this_o she_o be_v cast_v into_o yet_o it_o rather_o seem_v a_o partly_o natural_a and_o partly_o a_o adventitious_a disease_a fearfulness_n in_o a_o tender_a over-passionate_a nature_n that_o have_v no_o power_n to_o quiet_v she_o own_o fear_n without_o any_o other_o cloud_n on_o her_o understanding_n §_o 4._o and_o all_o be_v much_o increase_v by_o her_o wisdom_n so_o stifle_v all_o the_o appearance_n of_o it_o that_o it_o all_o inward_o wrought_v and_o have_v no_o ease_n by_o vent_n §_o 5._o and_o have_v keen_a spirit_n and_o thin_a sharp_a blood_n she_o have_v a_o strong_a hemicrania_n or_o headache_a once_o a_o month_n and_o oft_o once_o a_o fortnight_n or_o more_o from_o the_o age_n of_o fifteen_o or_o sixteen_o year_n all_o these_o together_o much_o tend_v to_o hinder_v she_o from_o a_o quiet_a and_o comfortable_a temper_n §_o 6._o and_o in_o a_o word_n all_o the_o operation_n of_o her_o soul_n be_v very_o intense_a and_o strong_a strong_a wit_n and_o strong_a love_n and_o strong_a displeasure_n and_o when_o god_n show_v she_o what_o holiness_n be_v she_o think_v she_o must_v present_o have_v it_o in_o so_o great_a a_o degree_n as_o the_o ripe_a saint_n do_v here_o attain_v and_o that_o because_o she_o have_v not_o as_o much_o heavenly_a life_n and_o sense_n and_o delight_n in_o god_n as_o she_o know_v she_o shall_v have_v and_o desire_v she_o conclude_v of_o it_o that_o she_o have_v none_o that_o be_v sincere_a §_o 7._o one_o of_o the_o first_o thing_n by_o which_o her_o change_n be_v discover_v to_o her_o mother_n and_o friend_n be_v her_o fervent_a secret_a prayer_n for_o live_v in_o a_o great_a house_n of_o which_o the_o middle_a part_n be_v ruin_v in_o the_o war_n she_o choose_v a_o closet_n in_o the_o further_a end_n where_o she_o think_v none_o hear_v she_o but_o some_o that_o overhear_v she_o say_v they_o never_o hear_v so_o fervent_a prayer_n from_o any_o person_n §_o 8._o yet_o she_o desire_v i_o to_o draw_v up_o a_o form_n suit_v to_o her_o own_o condition_n which_o i_o do_v and_o find_v it_o now_o reserve_v among_o her_o paper_n but_o i_o can_v tell_v whether_o she_o ever_o use_v it_o have_v affection_n and_o freedom_n of_o expression_n without_o it_o i_o have_v think_v to_o have_v annex_v it_o for_o the_o use_n of_o afflict_a penitent_n but_o it_o will_v be_v but_o a_o digression_n in_o this_o narrative_a chap._n vi_o of_o our_o marriage_n and_o our_o habitation_n §_o 1._o the_o unsuitableness_n of_o our_o age_n and_o my_o former_a know_a purpose_n against_o marriage_n and_o against_o the_o conveniency_n of_o minister_n marriage_n who_o have_v not_o sort_n of_o necessity_n make_v our_o marriage_n the_o matter_n of_o much_o public_a talk_n and_o wonder_n and_o the_o true_a open_n of_o her_o case_n and_o i_o and_o the_o many_o strange_a occurrence_n which_o bring_v it_o to_o pass_v will_v take_v away_o the_o wonder_n of_o her_o friend_n and_o i_o that_o know_v we_o and_o the_o notice_n of_o it_o will_v much_o conduce_v to_o the_o understanding_n of_o some_o other_o passage_n of_o our_o life_n yet_o wise_a friend_n by_o who_o i_o be_o advise_v think_v it_o better_a to_o omit_v such_o personal_a particularity_n at_o least_o at_o this_o time_n both_o in_o her_o case_n and_o i_o there_o be_v much_o extraordinary_a which_o it_o do_v not_o much_o concern_v the_o world_n to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o from_o the_o first_o thought_n of_o it_o many_o change_n and_o stoppage_n intervene_v and_o long_a delay_n till_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o eject_v with_o many_o hundred_o more_o and_o so_o be_v separate_v from_o my_o old_a pastoral_n charge_n which_o be_v enough_o to_o take_v up_o all_o my_o time_n and_o labour_n some_o of_o my_o dissuade_v reason_n be_v then_o over_o and_o at_o last_o on_o septemb_n 10._o 1662._o we_o be_v marry_v in_o bennet-fink_n church_n by_o mr._n samuel_n clerk_n yet_o live_a have_v be_v before_o contract_v by_o mr._n simeon_n ash_n both_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o mr._n henry_n ashurst_n and_o mrs._n ash._n §_o 2._o she_o consent_v to_o these_o condition_n of_o our_o marriage_n 1._o that_o i_o will_v have_v nothing_o that_o before_o our_o marriage_n be_v she_o that_o i_o who_o want_v no_o outward_a supply_n may_v not_o seem_v to_o marry_v she_o for_o covetousness_n 2._o that_o she_o will_v so_o alter_v her_o affair_n that_o i_o may_v be_v entangle_v in_o no_o lawsuit_n 3._o that_o she_o will_v expect_v none_o of_o my_o time_n which_o my_o ministerial_a work_n shall_v require_v §_o 3._o when_o we_o be_v marry_v her_o sadness_n and_o melancholy_n vanish_v counsel_n do_v something_o to_o it_o and_o contentment_n something_o and_o be_v take_v up_o with_o our_o household_n affair_n do_v somewhat_o and_o we_o live_v in_o inviolated_a love_n and_o mutual_a complacency_n sensible_a of_o the_o benefit_n of_o mutual_a help_n these_o
and_o passion_n under_o a_o constant_a watch_n and_o obedience_n to_o god_n and_o know_v first_o whether_o god_n command_v they_o and_o allow_v they_o §_o 7._o and_o this_o history_n may_v teach_v we_o that_o though_o god_n usual_o begin_v as_o be_v say_v our_o conversion_n in_o fear_n and_o penitent_a sorrow_n it_o be_v holy_a and_o heavenly_a joy_n which_o it_o tend_v to_o as_o more_o desirable_a and_o we_o shall_v chief_o seek_v and_o shall_v labour_v to_o moderate_a fear_n and_o sorrow_n and_o not_o think_v we_o can_v never_o have_v enough_o it_o be_v too_o common_a a_o error_n with_o honest_a soul_n to_o think_v that_o a_o hard_a heart_n lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n when_o as_o it_o lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o a_o tractable_a compliance_n and_o yield_v to_o the_o command_n and_o will_v of_o god_n and_o in_o a_o iron_n neck_n and_o obstinate_a disobedience_n to_o god_n and_o to_o think_v that_o a_o new_a and_o tender_a heart_n be_v principal_o a_o heart_n that_o can_v weep_v and_o mourn_v when_o it_o be_v chief_o a_o heart_n that_o easy_o receive_v all_o the_o impression_n of_o god_n command_n and_o promise_n and_o threat_n and_o easy_o yield_v to_o his_o know_a will_n §_o 8._o and_o this_o may_v great_o warn_v we_o to_o fear_v and_o avoid_v self-willedness_a i_o mean_v a_o will_n of_o our_o own_o that_o run_v before_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o be_v too_o much_o set_v on_o any_o thing_n which_o god_n have_v not_o promise_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o bear_v a_o frustration_n or_o denial_n but_o say_v as_o rachel_n give_v it_o i_o or_o i_o die_v we_o must_v learn_v to_o follow_v and_o not_o to_o lead_v and_o to_o say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v not_o my_o lord_n but_o thou_o and_o in_o every_o estate_n to_o be_v content_a there_o be_v no_o rest_n but_o in_o god_n will_n §_o 9_o yet_o this_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n deal_v better_a with_o his_o weak_a servant_n than_o they_o deserve_v and_o turn_v that_o oft_o time_n to_o their_o good_a which_o they_o deserve_v shall_v have_v be_v their_o great_a suffering_n §_o 10._o this_o history_n and_o my_o great_a experience_n say_v that_o there_o be_v a_o friend_n that_o stick_v close_a than_o a_o brother_n prov._n 18._o 24._o and_o that_o it_o be_v god_n spirit_n that_o say_v prov._n 27._o 10._o thy_o own_o friend_n and_o thy_o father_n friend_n forsake_v not_o neither_o go_v into_o thy_o brother_n house_n in_o the_o day_n of_o thy_o calamity_n for_o better_a be_v a_o neighbour_n that_o be_v near_o than_o a_o brother_n that_o be_v far_o off_o §_o 11._o this_o history_n tell_v we_o how_o great_a a_o mercy_n it_o be_v to_o have_v a_o body_n meet_v to_o serve_v the_o soul_n and_o how_o great_a a_o affliction_n to_o have_v a_o unruly_a inclination_n from_o the_o body_n temper_n and_o what_o a_o tyrant_n excessive_a fear_n be_v and_o how_o great_a a_o blessing_n it_o be_v to_o have_v such_o a_o passion_n as_o faith_n can_v rule_v and_o easy_o quiet_a §_o 12._o it_o tell_v you_o also_o how_o manifold_a temptation_n and_o affliction_n god_n servant_n be_v liable_a to_o in_o this_o life_n §_o 13._o and_o it_o tell_v you_o that_o our_o great_a good_a or_o evil_n be_v near_a we_o next_o god_n the_o best_a be_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o there_o be_v the_o worst_a and_o next_o in_o our_o body_n and_o next_o in_o our_o near_a friend_n and_o it_o may_v teach_v all_o to_o expect_v their_o great_a sorrow_n from_o those_o or_o that_o which_o they_o most_o excessive_o love_v and_o from_o who_o they_o have_v the_o high_a expectation_n only_a god_n can_v be_v love_v more_o than_o he_o deserve_v sorrow_n begin_v in_o inordinate_a love_n and_o joy_n in_o good_a §_o 14._o and_o it_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n service_n lie_v more_o in_o deed_n than_o in_o word_n my_o dear_a wife_n be_v faulty_a indeed_o in_o talk_v so_o little_a of_o religion_n in_o company_n expect_v it_o be_v unresistible_o to_o confute_v in_o few_o word_n a_o opposer_n or_o revile_a of_o religion_n but_o her_o religion_n lie_v in_o do_v more_o than_o talk_v §_o 15._o yet_o her_o example_n tell_v we_o that_o it_o be_v one_o of_o satan_n wile_n to_o draw_v we_o to_o one_o sin_n to_o avoid_v another_o and_o to_o make_v we_o think_v that_o nothing_o be_v a_o due_a that_o have_v great_a inconvenience_n or_o which_o we_o can_v foresee_v some_o man_n will_v receive_v hurt_v from_o and_o so_o to_o be_v unrighteous_a by_o be_v righteous_a overmuch_o and_o leave_n much_o undo_v for_o fear_n of_o do_v it_o amiss_o by_o which_o rule_n we_o shall_v scarce_o ever_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o god_n command_v he_o that_o observe_v the_o wind_n shall_v not_o sow_v and_o he_o that_o regard_v the_o cloud_n shall_v not_o reap_v eccles._n 11._o 4._o i_o speak_v this_o on_o she_o at_o last_o confess_v error_n of_o omit_v seasonable_a speech_n and_o duty_n to_o avoid_v hypocrisy_n and_o ostentation_n which_o my_o great_a friend_n judge_n hale_n be_v just_a so_o guilty_a of_o as_o i_o know_v and_o the_o writer_n of_o his_o life_n confess_v he_o will_v make_v no_o great_a show_n of_o zeal_n in_o religion_n lest_o if_o he_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o religion_n shall_v be_v reproach_v for_o his_o sake_n cardinal_n ricâ—lieu_n be_v wont_a to_o say_v as_o be_v write_v of_o he_o that_o he_o hate_v no_o counsellor_n more_o than_o those_o that_o be_v always_o say_v let_v we_o do_v it_o better_o by_o that_o hinder_v the_o do_v of_o much_o at_o all_o §_o 16._o you_o see_v here_o that_o suitableness_n in_o religious_a judgement_n and_o disposition_n preserve_v fast_a love_n and_o concord_n as_o it_o do_v with_o we_o than_o suitableness_n in_o age_n education_n and_o wealth_n but_o yet_o those_o shall_v not_o be_v imprudent_o neglect_v nothing_o cause_v so_o near_o and_o fast_o and_o comfortable_a a_o union_n as_o to_o be_v unite_v in_o one_o god_n one_o christ_n one_o spirit_n one_o faith_n one_o church_n one_o hope_n of_o heavenly_a glory_n yet_o accidental_a unsuitableness_n shall_v be_v avoid_v as_o far_o as_o may_v be_v §_o 17._o there_o be_v some_o great_a man_n who_o know_v their_o own_o name_n who_o as_o i_o have_v most_o credible_a information_n have_v to_o great_a than_o themselves_o represent_v i_o not_o only_o as_o covetous_a but_o as_o mutable_a for_o my_o marriage_n to_o who_o i_o now_o give_v this_o satisfaction_n 1._o as_o to_o covetousness_n my_o vindication_n be_v a_o matter_n unfit_a for_o the_o ear_n of_o the_o world_n if_o reverend_a man_n backbiting_n the_o same_o that_o trouble_v our_o common_a peace_n do_v not_o make_v it_o partly_o necessary_a through_o god_n mercy_n and_o her_o prudent_a care_n i_o live_v in_o plenty_n and_o so_o do_v still_o though_o not_o without_o be_v great_o behold_v to_o divers_a friend_n and_o i_o be_o not_o poor_a than_o when_o i_o marry_v but_o it_o be_v not_o by_o marriage_n nor_o by_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v she_o before_o 2._o and_o as_o to_o my_o mutability_n whereas_o one_o of_o they_o report_n that_o i_o say_v to_o he_o that_o i_o think_v the_o marriage_n of_o minister_n have_v so_o great_a inconvenience_n that_o though_o necessity_n make_v it_o lawful_a yet_o it_o be_v but_o lawful_a that_o be_v to_o be_v avoid_v as_o far_o as_o lawful_o we_o may_v i_o answer_v that_o i_o do_v say_v so_o to_o he_o and_o i_o never_o change_v my_o judgement_n yea_o my_o wife_n live_v and_o die_v in_o the_o same_o mind_n and_o i_o here_o free_o advise_v all_o minister_n that_o have_v not_o some_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o think_v of_o these_o few_o reason_n among_o many_o 1._o the_o work_n of_o the_o sacred_a ministry_n be_v enough_o to_o take_v up_o the_o whole_a man_n if_o he_o have_v the_o strength_n and_o part_n of_o many_o man_n o_o how_o much_o be_v there_o to_o do_v oftentimes_o with_o one_o ignorant_a or_o scandalous_a or_o sad_a despair_a soul_n and_o who_o be_v sufficient_a for_o all_o that_o be_v to_o be_v do_v to_o hundred_o or_o thousand_o in_o the_o primitive_a church_n every_o congregation_n have_v many_o minister_n but_o covetousness_n of_o clergy_n and_o people_n will_v now_o scarce_o allow_v two_o to_o very_o great_a parish_n i_o do_v not_o marry_v till_o i_o be_v silence_v and_o eject_v and_o have_v no_o flock_n or_o pastoral_n cure_n believe_v it_o he_o that_o will_v have_v a_o wife_n must_v spend_v much_o of_o his_o time_n in_o conference_n prayer_n and_o other_o family-duty_n with_o she_o and_o if_o he_o have_v child_n o_o how_o much_o care_n time_n and_o labour_n will_v they_o require_v i_o know_v it_o though_o i_o have_v none_o and_o he_o that_o have_v servant_n must_v spend_v time_n in_o teach_v they_o and_o in_o other_o
a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n of_o margaret_z the_o daughter_n of_o francis_n charlton_n of_o apply_v in_o shropshire_n esq_n and_o wife_n of_o richard_n baxter_n for_o the_o use_n of_o all_o but_o especial_o of_o their_o kindred_n there_o be_v also_o publish_v the_o character_n of_o her_o mother_n true_o describe_v in_o her_o publish_a funeral_n sermon_n reprint_v at_o her_o daughter_n request_n call_v the_o last_o work_n of_o a_o believer_n his_o passing-prayer_n recommend_v his_o depart_a spirit_n to_o christ_n to_o be_v receive_v by_o he_o london_n print_v for_o b._n simmons_n at_o the_o three_o golden_a cock_n at_o the_o west-end_n of_o st._n paul_n 1681._o to_o the_o reader_n reader_n god_n have_v call_v away_o to_o his_o bless_a rest_n and_o glory_n the_o spirit_n of_o the_o most_o dear_a companion_n of_o these_o last_o nineteen_o year_n of_o my_o life_n or_o near_o i_o find_v in_o her_o last_o will_v a_o request_n that_o i_o shall_v reprint_v five_o hundred_o of_o her_o mother_n funeral-sermon_n write_v by_o i_o 1661._o be_v now_o out_o of_o press_n call_v the_o last_o work_n of_o a_o believer_n his_o pass_a prayer_n etc._n etc._n not_o only_o she_o very_o great_a love_n and_o honour_n of_o she_o remember_v mother_n move_v she_o to_o it_o but_o the_o apprehension_n of_o the_o vsefulness_n of_o that_o subject_n to_o die_v christian_n a_o subject_a about_o which_o her_o soul_n be_v awaken_v the_o more_o by_o the_o death_n of_o many_o friend_n and_o excellent_a christian_n take_v away_o this_o year_n and_o the_o day_n somewhat_o excite_v she_o for_o it_o be_v write_v by_o she_o on_o decem._n 30_o the_o same_o day_n which_o she_o keep_v secret_o as_o a_o anniversary_n remembrance_n of_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n from_o which_o she_o have_v be_v deliver_v and_o the_o same_o day_n when_o our_o dear_a friend_n mr._n corbet_n lie_v die_v and_o i_o find_v some_o expectation_n of_o her_o own_o speedy_a death_n have_v some_o hand_n in_o it_o be_v thus_o oblige_v by_o her_o request_n my_o own_o affection_n urge_v i_o to_o premise_v this_o breviate_v of_o she_o own_o life_n written_n i_o confess_v under_o the_o power_n of_o melt_a grief_n and_o therefore_o perhaps_o with_o the_o less_o prudent_a judgement_n but_o not_o with_o the_o less_o but_o the_o more_o truth_n for_o passionate_a weakness_n pour_v out_o all_o which_o great_a prudence_n may_v conceal_v conscionable_a man_n history_n be_v true_a but_o if_o they_o be_v also_o wise_a they_o tell_v we_o but_o some_o part_n of_o truth_n conceal_v that_o which_o will_v do_v harm_n and_o which_o the_o deprave_a world_n can_v bear_v without_o abuse_v it_o but_o we_o that_o be_v less_o wise_a tell_v all_o the_o truth_n too_o little_o regard_v how_o man_n will_v receive_v it_o and_o hence_o come_v all_o history_n which_o have_v not_o evidence_n equal_a to_o natural_a to_o be_v of_o less_o credit_n than_o most_o man_n think_v while_o bad_a man_n lie_v and_o good_a man_n leave_v out_o so_o much_o of_o the_o truth_n as_o make_v the_o rest_n to_o be_v as_o another_o thing_n than_o altogether_o it_o will_v appear_v and_o have_v purpose_v to_o write_v this_o breviate_v concern_v my_o dear_a wife_n god_n have_v the_o same_o year_n take_v away_o two_o more_o of_o my_o ancient_a family_n i_o write_v a_o breviate_v of_o their_o life_n also_o one_o be_v my_o excellent_a holy_a mother-in-law_n marry_o the_o daughter_n of_o sir_n thomas_n hunk_n widow_n to_o my_o dear_a father_n she_o be_v one_o of_o the_o most_o humble_a mortify_v holy_a person_n that_o ever_o i_o know_v and_o live_v in_o longing_n to_o be_v with_o christ_n till_o she_o be_v a_o hundred_o year_n old_a want_v three_o or_o four_o in_o full_a understanding_n and_o at_o last_o rejoice_v in_o the_o triumphant_a frequent_a hear_n and_o repeat_v the_o 91_o psalm_n the_o other_o be_v my_o old_a friend_n and_o housekeeper_n jane_n matthews_n who_o live_v in_o pious_a humble_a virginity_n with_o eminent_a worth_n to_o about_o seventy_o six_o or_o seventy_o seven_o year_n and_o die_v of_o mere_a decay_n without_o considerable_a pain_n or_o sickness_n about_o a_o month_n or_o six_o week_n before_o my_o wife_n to_o these_o i_o add_v a_o four_o a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n and_o death_n of_o that_o worthy_a mother_n of_o my_o wife_n as_o to_o the_o time_n since_o i_o know_v she_o but_o i_o have_v cast_v by_o all_o these_o late_a three_o and_o much_o of_o the_o first_o by_o the_o counsel_n of_o wise_a friend_n as_o thing_n which_o they_o think_v that_o stranger_n will_v not_o make_v so_o great_a a_o matter_n 〈◊〉_d love_n and_o nearness_n make_v i_o do_v and_o i_o must_v 〈◊〉_d that_o god_n image_n be_v the_o same_o thing_n on_o all_o his_o child_n and_o when_o you_o have_v describe_v one_o you_o have_v describe_v all_o as_o to_o the_o essential_o but_o as_o in_o face_n and_o bodily_a strength_n they_o so_o much_o differ_v in_o integral_n degree_n and_o accident_n that_o the_o life_n of_o some_o be_v far_o more_o exemplary_a and_o honourable_a to_o christ_n their_o lord_n and_o their_o christian_a profession_n than_o other_o be_v and_o some_o be_v so_o much_o blemish_v by_o error_n soul-disease_n and_o miscarriage_n of_o life_n yea_o and_o injury_n to_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n by_o their_o carnal_a animosity_n and_o division_n as_o render_v the_o example_n of_o the_o more_o wise_a holy_a love_a and_o peaceable_a and_o patient_a christian_n the_o more_o conspicuous_a and_o honourable_a by_o the_o difference_n on_o this_o account_n find_v young_a people_n natural_o much_o delight_v in_o history_n and_o that_o for_o want_n of_o better_a abundance_n be_v quick_o corrupt_v and_o ensnare_v by_o tale-book_n romance_n playbook_n and_o false_a or_o hurtful_a history_n i_o have_v long_o think_v that_o true_a and_o useful_a history_n be_v of_o great_a use_n to_o prevent_v such_o evil_n and_o to_o many_o profitable_a end_n and_o that_o to_o young_a people_n it_o be_v very_o profitable_a to_o begin_v with_o the_o scripture-history_n and_o next_o the_o live_v of_o holy_a person_n and_o next_o to_o read_v the_o true_a church-historian_n and_o the_o history_n of_o our_o native_a country_n melchior_n adamus_n in_o germany_n beza_n in_o his_o icones_n thuanus_n and_o many_o other_o in_o france_n have_v do_v the_o church_n this_o way_n great_a service_n by_o a_o due_a commemoration_n of_o exemplary_a person_n and_o such_o as_o junius_n scultetus_n thuanus_n and_o other_o who_o have_v record_v the_o chief_a passage_n of_o their_o own_o life_n have_v do_v a_o profitable_a work_n though_o mom'e_n will_v say_v they_o publish_v their_o own_o praise_n in_o pride_n there_o be_v no_o say_v or_o do_v any_o 〈◊〉_d the_o world_n which_o bad_a man_n will_v not_o reproach_n or_o put_v a_o evil_a face_n on_o or_o make_v a_o ill_a use_n of_o to_o themselves_o but_o he_o that_o read_v such_o life_n as_o bucholtzer_n melanchton_n and_o their_o like_a and_o then_o read_v their_o church-history_n will_v the_o better_o discern_v that_o they_o be_v no_o liar_n as_o it_o be_v satan_n work_n to_o counterwork_n christ_n by_o the_o abuse_n and_o perversion_n of_o his_o own_o ordinance_n and_o mean_n as_o to_o disgrace_n revelation_n by_o feign_a revelation_n and_o spirituality_n by_o false_a pretending_n to_o the_o spirit_n and_o magistracy_n by_o wicked_a magistrate_n and_o the_o ministry_n by_o worldly_a and_o ungodly_a minister_n and_o christianity_n by_o hypocrite_n false_a christian_n so_o he_o do_v enervate_a the_o credit_n and_o use_v of_o history_n by_o false_a history_n and_o how_o great_a use_n he_o have_v make_v of_o this_o to_o promote_v popery_n he_o that_o read_v jacobus_n de_fw-fr voragine_fw-la and_o many_o other_o of_o their_o legend_n or_o saint_n life_n and_o miracle_n and_o such_o as_o tympius_fw-la and_o many_o more_o beside_o their_o voluminous_a deceitful_a history_n of_o church_n pope_n and_o council_n may_v quick_o find_v and_o be_v myself_o a_o vehement_a hater_n of_o false_a history_n i_o beg_v pardon_n of_o the_o reader_n for_o interpose_v this_o digression_n late_o write_v of_o the_o judgement_n of_o cranmer_n and_o other_o as_o cite_v by_o dr._n stillingfleet_n in_o his_o irenicon_n about_o episcopacy_n that_o the_o reader_n may_v know_v where_o to_o find_v it_o i_o add_v in_o a_o parenthesis_n that_o it_o be_v leave_v out_o in_o dr._n burnet_n book_n for_o this_o i_o be_o accuse_v as_o disgrace_v he_o and_o his_o book_n false_o i_o here_o do_v he_o right_o and_o confess_v it_o be_v ill_o do_v of_o i_o to_o judge_v so_o hasty_o without_o better_a trial_n but_o i_o must_v tell_v he_o wherein_o my_o fault_n consist_v not_o in_o accuse_v he_o i_o take_v it_o not_o to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o d._n b._n that_o he_o have_v omit_v many_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o fuller_n fox_n and_o other_o i_o have_v
man_n affection_n work_v to_o prepare_v his_o dear_a kinswoman_n for_o death_n but_o he_o die_v and_o most_o of_o his_o before_o she_o chap._n iu._n some_o parcel_n of_o counsel_n for_o her_o deliverance_n from_o this_o distress_a case_n which_o i_o find_v reserve_v by_o she_o for_o her_o use_n §_o 1._o while_o in_o her_o languish_n and_o after_o it_o she_o be_v still_o cast_v down_o condemn_v herself_o as_o a_o graceless_a wretch_n and_o her_o good_a mother_n and_o friend_n afraid_a that_o her_o grief_n will_v increase_v her_o sickness_n as_o it_o do_v their_o sadness_n and_o yet_o she_o obstinate_o conceal_v it_o from_o all_o save_v a_o few_o sad_a complaint_n to_o one_o person_n who_o write_v thereof_o some_o fragment_n which_o she_o extract_v for_o her_o use_n i_o shall_v here_o recite_v they_o for_o other_o that_o have_v the_o same_o fear_n §_o 2._o the_o miscarriage_n of_o a_o relation_n trouble_v she_o this_o be_v set_v down_o when_o god_n have_v do_v so_o much_o for_o you_o will_v you_o leave_v it_o in_o the_o power_n of_o a_o unconstant_a creature_n to_o trouble_v you_o and_o rob_v you_o of_o your_o peace_n be_v the_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n so_o subject_a to_o the_o malice_n of_o your_o enemy_n or_o the_o weakness_n of_o your_o friend_n delight_n yourself_o in_o a_o all-sufficient_a constanr_n god_n and_o he_o will_v be_v to_o you_o a_o sufficient_a constant_a delight_n and_o will_v give_v you_o the_o desire_n of_o your_o heart_n i_o see_v you_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a in_o self-denial_n while_o you_o be_v too_o sensible_a of_o unkindness_n and_o cross_n from_o your_o friend_n and_o bear_v they_o with_o too_o much_o passion_n and_o weakness_n know_v you_o not_o yet_o what_o the_o creature_n be_v and_o how_o little_a to_o be_v expect_v from_o it_o do_v you_o not_o still_o reckon_v to_o meet_v with_o such_o infirmity_n in_o the_o best_a as_o will_v be_v injarious_a to_o other_o as_o they_o be_v troublesome_a to_o themselves_o it_o be_v god_n that_o we_o most_o wrong_a and_o yet_o he_o bear_v with_o we_o and_o so_o must_v we_o with_o one_o another_o have_v you_o expect_v that_o creature_n shall_v deal_v as_o creature_n and_o sinner_n as_o sinner_n how_o little_a of_o this_o kind_n of_o trouble_n have_v you_o feel_v especial_o take_v heed_n of_o too_o much_o regard_n to_o matter_n of_o mere_a reputation_n and_o the_o thought_n of_o man_n else_o you_o be_v like_o a_o leaf_n in_o the_o wind_n that_o will_v have_v no_o rest_n look_v on_o man_n as_o nothing_o and_o be_v content_a to_o approve_v yourself_o to_o god_n and_o then_o so_o much_o honour_n as_o be_v good_a for_o you_o will_v follow_v as_o the_o shadow_n if_o every_o frailty_n and_o unkindness_n of_o the_o best_a friend_n must_v be_v your_o trouble_n it_o be_v to_o be_v impatient_a with_o the_o unavoidable_a pravity_n of_o mankind_n and_o you_o may_v as_o well_o grieve_v that_o they_o be_v bear_v in_o sin_n and_o make_v your_o acquaintance_n and_o it_o shall_v be_v use_v as_o a_o mercy_n to_o keep_v you_o from_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o friend_n it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o be_v drive_v from_o creature-rest_n though_o it_o be_v by_o enemy_n keep_v a_o fix_a apprehension_n of_o the_o inconsiderableness_n of_o all_o these_o little_a thing_n that_o cross_v you_o and_o turn_v your_o eye_n to_o god_n to_o christ_n to_o heaven_n the_o thing_n of_o unspeakable_a weight_n and_o you_o will_v have_v no_o room_n for_o these_o childish_a trouble_n yet_o turn_v not_o the_o discovery_n of_o this_o your_o weakness_n into_o dejection_n but_o amendment_n i_o perceive_v you_o be_v apt_a to_o hold_v to_o the_o sense_n of_o your_o own_o distemper_n than_o to_o think_v what_o counsel_n be_v give_v you_o against_o they_o §_o 3._o on_o another_o occasion_n she_o record_v these_o word_n how_o hard_o be_v it_o to_o keep_v our_o heart_n in_o go_v too_o far_o even_o in_o honest_a affection_n towards_o the_o creature_n while_o we_o be_v so_o backward_o to_o love_n god_n who_o shall_v have_v all_o the_o heart_n and_o soul_n and_o may_v too_o strong_a love_n to_o any_o though_o it_o be_v good_a in_o the_o kind_n may_v be_v sinful_a and_o hurtful_a in_o the_o degree_n 1._o it_o will_v turn_v too_o many_o of_o your_o thought_n from_o god_n and_o they_o will_v be_v too_o oft_o run_v after_o the_o belove_a creature_n 2._o and_o by_o this_o exercise_n of_o thought_n and_o affection_n on_o the_o creature_n it_o may_v divert_v and_o cool_v your_o love_n to_o god_n which_o will_v not_o be_v keep_v up_o unless_o our_o thought_n be_v keep_v more_o to_o he_o yea_o though_o it_o be_v for_o his_o sake_n that_o you_o love_v they_o 3._o it_o will_v increase_v your_o suffering_n by_o interess_v you_o in_o all_o the_o danger_n and_o trouble_n of_o those_o who_o you_o overlove_v §_o 4._o when_o she_o seem_v to_o herself_o near_o death_n you_o now_o see_v what_o the_o world_n and_o all_o its_o pleasure_n be_v and_o how_o it_o will_v have_v use_v you_o if_o you_o have_v have_v no_o better_a a_o portion_n and_o god_n have_v not_o teach_v you_o a_o happy_a choice_n providence_n now_o tell_v you_o that_o they_o be_v vanity_n and_o if_o overvalue_v worse_a but_o if_o you_o learn_v to_o see_v their_o nothingness_n you_o will_v be_v above_o the_o trouble_n of_o lose_v they_o as_o well_o as_o the_o snare_n of_o too_o delightful_a enjoy_v they_o pardon_v all_o injury_n to_o man_n and_o turn_v your_o thought_n from_o they_o and_o keep_v your_o heart_n as_o near_o as_o possible_a to_o the_o heart_n of_o christ_n and_o live_v as_o in_o his_o arm_n who_o be_v usual_o sweet_a when_o the_o creature_n most_o fail_v we_o if_o we_o do_v but_o turn_v our_o heart_n from_o it_o to_o he_o §_o 5._o another_o time_n can_v you_o find_v that_o you_o be_v resolve_o devote_v to_o christ_n and_o yet_o doubt_v whether_o christ_n be_v resolve_o and_o sure_o you_o be_v you_o willing_a or_o faithfull_a than_o he_o hence_o she_o gather_v herself_o as_o follow_v when_o i_o read_v the_o evidence_n of_o my_o self-resignation_n to_o christ_n i_o shall_v as_o it_o be_v see_v christ_n stand_v over_o i_o with_o the_o tender_a care_n and_o hear_v he_o say_v i_o accept_v thou_o as_o my_o own_o for_o i_o must_v believe_v his_o acceptance_n as_o i_o perform_v my_o resignation_n o_o what_o be_v he_o provide_v for_o i_o what_o entertainment_n with_o he_o shall_v i_o short_o find_v not_o such_o as_o he_o find_v with_o man_n when_o he_o come_v to_o seek_v we_o it_o be_v not_o a_o manger_n a_o crown_n of_o thorn_n a_o cross_n that_o he_o be_v prepare_v for_o i_o when_o i_o have_v have_v my_o part_n of_o these_o in_o follow_v he_o i_o shall_v have_v my_o place_n in_o the_o glorious_a jerusalem_n §_o 6._o this_o fragment_n she_o write_v next_o for_o the_o sake_n of_o your_o own_o soul_n and_o life_n and_o friend_n and_o for_o the_o honour_n of_o that_o tender_a mercy_n and_o free_a grace_n which_o you_o be_v bind_v to_o magnify_v let_v not_o satan_n get_v advantage_n against_o your_o peace_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n and_o the_o acknowledgement_n of_o his_o oblige_a love_n let_v he_o not_o on_o pretence_n of_o humiliation_n turn_v your_o eye_n on_o a_o weak_a distemper_a heart_n from_o the_o unspeakable_a mercy_n which_o shall_v sill_z yonr_a heart_n with_o love_n and_o joy_n notwithstanding_o all_o your_o lament_a infirmity_n you_o perceive_v not_o that_o it_o be_v satan_n that_o will_v keep_v you_o still_o under_o mournful_a sadness_n under_o the_o pretence_n of_o repentance_n and_o godly_a sorrow_n you_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o his_o wile_n you_o have_v cause_n of_o sorrow_n but_o much_o more_o of_o joy_n and_o your_o rejoice_v in_o god_n love_n will_v please_v he_o better_o than_o all_o your_o sad_a complaint_n and_o trouble_n though_o he_o despise_v not_o a_o contrite_a spirit_n i_o charge_v it_o on_o your_o conscience_n that_o when_o you_o be_v in_o prayer_n you_o confess_v and_o lament_v your_o distrustfnl_n suspicious_a unthankful_a uncomfortable_a thought_n of_o god_n and_o jesus_n christ_n more_o than_o all_o your_o want_n of_o sorrow_n for_o he_o and_o you_o trouble_v yourself_o for_o such_o kind_n of_o sin_n the_o honesty_n of_o who_o occasion_n may_v give_v you_o more_o comfort_n than_o the_o fault_n do_v sorrow_n i_o know_v we_o have_v not_o our_o comfort_n at_o command_n but_o see_v that_o your_o endeavour_n and_o strive_v be_v more_o for_o a_o comfortable_a than_o for_o a_o sorrowful_a frame_n of_o spirit_n two_o thing_n i_o must_v blame_v you_o for_o 1._o that_o you_o take_v the_o imperfection_n of_o your_o duty_n and_o obedience_n to_o be_v great_a reason_n for_o discomfort_n than_o the_o performance_n and_o sincerity_n be_v reason_n for_o comfort_n as_o if_o you_o think_v
not_o think_v that_o his_o book_n be_v disgrace_v if_o he_o write_v not_o over_o again_o all_o that_o every_o one_o else_o have_v write_v before_o he_o but_o my_o fault_n lay_v 1._o in_o believe_v dr._n stillingfleet_n who_o tell_v we_o that_o these_o paper_n be_v write_v in_o k._n edward_n reign_n which_o make_v i_o look_v for_o they_o in_o dr._n burnet_n second_a volume_n where_o they_o be_v not_o and_o another_o affirm_v to_o i_o that_o he_o see_v they_o in_o that_o second_o volume_n and_o i_o peruse_v it_o purposely_o a_o second_o time_n confirm_v i_o but_o dr._n b._n say_v dr._n stillingfleet_n be_v mistake_v many_o year_n and_o that_o they_o be_v write_v long_o before_o in_o the_o reign_n of_o hen._n 8._o and_o so_o he_o have_v they_o in_o his_o first_o volume_n which_o i_o have_v not_o peruse_v not_o expect_v they_o there_o and_o for_o this_o hasty_a judge_n i_o beg_v his_o pardon_n as_o to_o these_o little_a private_a history_n of_o my_o own_o family_n foremention_v i_o be_v loath_a to_o cast_v by_o my_o own_o mother-in-law_n life_n she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o so_o long_a and_o extraordinary_a holiness_n live_v long_o with_o sir_n robert_n harley_n who_o lady_n be_v her_o cousin-german_a and_o after_o at_o shrewsbury_n and_o after_o with_o my_o father_n and_o i_o etc._n etc._n in_o so_o great_a communion_n with_o god_n contempt_n of_o the_o world_n and_o all_o its_o pomp_n and_o vanity_n so_o great_a victory_n over_o the_o flesh_n and_o so_o long_o desire_v to_o die_v and_o especial_o in_o much_o constant_a fervent_a successful_a prayer_n that_o have_v marvellous_a answer_n as_o very_o few_o christian_n attain_v and_o i_o be_v loath_a to_o have_v cast_v by_o the_o narrative_a of_o my_o wife_n mother_n for_o some_o reason_n not_o now_o to_o be_v mention_v and_o because_o her_o daughter_n extraordinary_a love_n to_o she_o make_v her_o just_a honour_n very_o dear_a to_o she_o but_o her_o character_n be_v in_o the_o sermon_n true_o give_v you_o but_o i_o be_o convince_v by_o the_o judgement_n of_o my_o friend_n that_o public_a thing_n be_v fit_a for_o public_a notice_n and_o i_o feel_v that_o love_n grief_n and_o nearness_n affect_v i_o with_o the_o matter_n that_o be_v so_o near_o i_o and_o as_o it_o do_v not_o much_o concern_v the_o world_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o be_o sick_a or_o well_o dead_a or_o alive_a or_o whether_o ever_o i_o have_v a_o be_v though_o it_o concern_v i_o so_o i_o shall_v think_v of_o the_o concern_v of_o my_o friend_n affection_n make_v we_o think_v our_o own_o or_o our_o friend_n affair_n to_o be_v such_o as_o the_o world_n shall_v be_v affect_v with_o i_o perceive_v this_o weakness_n and_o submit_v that_o which_o be_v leave_v out_o of_o the_o narrative_a of_o my_o wife_n life_n be_v the_o occasion_n and_o inducement_n of_o our_o marriage_n and_o some_o passage_n between_o some_o relative_n and_o she_o which_o the_o world_n be_v not_o concern_v yet_o at_o least_o to_o know_v if_o this_o that_o be_v write_v seem_v useless_a to_o any_o it_o will_v not_o hurt_v they_o if_o they_o leave_v it_o to_o other_o that_o find_v it_o more_o suitable_a to_o they_o all_o thing_n be_v not_o agreeable_a to_o all_o that_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o person_n of_o her_o own_o quality_n which_o be_v not_o so_o to_o many_o other_o to_o her_o nephew_n and_o niece_n and_o some_o other_o kindred_n who_o be_v also_o near_o to_o she_o and_o for_o who_o sake_n above_o most_o other_o i_o write_v it_o you_o can_v think_v that_o it_o will_v be_v altogether_o useless_a o_o that_o they_o will_v all_o imitate_v she_o in_o all_o that_o be_v praiseworthy_a and_o needful_a to_o themselves_o the_o grand_a objection_n i_o foresee_v will_v be_v that_o i_o seem_v but_o to_o predicate_v some_o of_o my_o own_o good_a work_n by_o praise_v she_o and_o must_v i_o needs_o bury_v the_o memory_n of_o they_o as_o she_o for_o fear_v of_o the_o sting_n of_o such_o objector_n i_o have_v tell_v they_o true_o it_o be_v not_o my_o own_o act_n but_o those_o that_o be_v proper_o she_o that_o i_o there_o mention_v it_o be_v not_o her_o give_v of_o my_o money_n which_o i_o there_o recite_v but_o that_o which_o either_o be_v she_o own_o and_o none_o of_o i_o or_o else_o procure_v by_o she_o for_o those_o use_n and_o the_o work_v such_o in_o which_o i_o be_v but_o the_o executor_n of_o her_o will._n she_o be_v go_v after_o many_o of_o my_o choice_a friend_n who_o within_o this_o one_o year_n be_v go_v to_o christ_n and_o i_o be_o follow_v even_o at_o the_o door_n have_v i_o be_v to_o enjoy_v they_o only_o here_o it_o will_v have_v be_v but_o a_o short_a comfort_n mix_v with_o the_o many_o trouble_n which_o all_o our_o fail_n and_o sin_n and_o some_o degree_n of_o unsuitableness_n between_o the_o near_a and_o dear_a cause_n but_o i_o be_o go_v after_o they_o to_o that_o bless_a society_n where_o life_n light_n and_o love_n and_o therefore_o harmony_n concord_n and_o joy_n be_v perfect_a and_o everlasting_a reader_n while_o i_o give_v thou_o but_o the_o truth_n forgive_v the_o effect_n of_o age_n weakness_n and_o grief_n and_o if_o before_o i_o get_v over_o this_o own_v passion_n i_o publish_v also_o a_o few_o poetical_a fragment_n partly_o suit_v to_o the_o condition_n of_o some_o sick_a or_o sad_a afflict_a friend_n and_o partly_o to_o my_o own_o if_o thou_o accept_v they_o not_o forgive_v they_o only_o and_o neglect_v they_o as_o the_o man_n be_v such_o will_v be_v his_o thought_n and_o work_n the_o lord_n prosper_v our_o preparation_n for_o our_o great_a approach_a change_n to_o leave_v this_o world_n for_o ever_o and_o enter_v upon_o a_o endless_a life_n where_o we_o shall_v speed_v according_a to_o the_o preparation_n of_o this_o little_a inch_n of_o time_n do_v certain_o bespeak_v the_o most_o scrious_a thought_n the_o wise_a and_o speedy_a care_n and_o diligence_n the_o most_o patient_a suffer_v the_o most_o unwearied_a labour_n the_o most_o frugal_a use_n of_o all_o our_o time_n the_o most_o resolute_a resistance_n to_o all_o temptation_n and_o to_o the_o faithful_a the_o most_o joyful_a hope_n july_n 23._o 1681._o rich._n baxter_n a_o breviate_v of_o the_o life_n of_o margaret_n the_o daughter_n of_o francis_n charlton_n esque_n and_o late_a wife_n of_o richard_n baxter_n who_o die_v june_n 14._o 1681._o chap._n i._o her_o parentage_n and_o the_o occasion_n of_o our_o acquaintance_n §_o though_o due_a affection_n make_v i_o willing_a to_o give_v the_o world_n a_o narrative_a which_o else_o i_o have_v omit_v yet_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n have_v not_o so_o forsake_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v willing_o deliver_v any_o falsehood_n through_o partiality_n or_o passion_n but_o as_o i_o know_v more_o of_o this_o person_n than_o any_o other_o for_o the_o good_a of_o the_o reader_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o god_n grace_n in_o she_o i_o shall_v by_o god_n assistance_n true_o report_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o know_v §_o 2._o we_o be_v bear_v in_o the_o same_o county_n within_o three_o mile_n and_o a_o half_a of_o each_o other_o but_o she_o of_o one_o of_o the_o chief_a family_n in_o the_o county_n and_o i_o but_o of_o a_o mean_a freeholder_n call_v a_o gentleman_n for_o his_o ancestor_n sake_n but_o of_o a_o small_a estate_n though_o sufficient_a her_o father_n francis_n charlton_n esq_n be_v one_o of_o the_o best_a justice_n of_o the_o peace_n in_o that_o county_n a_o grave_n and_o sober_a worthy_a man_n but_o do_v not_o marry_v till_o he_o be_v age_a and_o gray_a and_o so_o die_v while_o his_o child_n be_v very_o young_a who_o be_v three_o of_o which_o the_o elder_a daughter_n and_o his_o only_a son_n be_v yet_o alive_a he_o have_v one_o survive_a brother_n who_o after_o the_o father_n death_n maintain_v a_o long_a and_o costly_a suit_n about_o the_o guardianship_n of_o the_o heir_n yet_o live_a this_o uncle_n robert_n be_v a_o comely_a sober_a gentleman_n but_o the_o wise_a and_o good_a mother_n mary_n dare_v not_o trust_v she_o only_o son_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o one_o that_o be_v his_o next_o heir_n and_o she_o think_v that_o nature_n give_v she_o a_o great_a interest_n in_o he_o than_o a_o uncle_n have_v but_o it_o be_v in_o the_o heat_n of_o the_o late_a civil_a war_n robert_n be_v for_o the_o parliament_n have_v the_o advantage_n of_o strength_n which_o put_v she_o to_o seek_v relief_n at_o oxford_n from_o the_o king_n and_o afterward_o to_o marry_v one_o mr._n hanmer_n who_o be_v for_o the_o king_n to_o make_v her_o interest_n that_o way_n her_o house_n be_v a_o sort_n of_o a_o small_a castle_n be_v now_o garison_v for_o the_o king_n but_o at_o last_o robert_n procure_v it_o to_o be_v besiege_v by_o the_o parliament_n soldier_n and_o storm_v and_o
to_o supply_v the_o notorious_a necessity_n of_o the_o people_n and_o as_o helper_n of_o the_o allow_a ministry_n the_o good_a woman_n think_v this_o have_v be_v read_v the_o common-prayer_n and_o in_o a_o letter_n which_o i_o now_o find_v accuse_v my_o wife_n with_o five_o or_o six_o vehement_a charge_n for_o tell_v she_o i_o will_v not_o read_v 〈◊〉_d common-prayer_n my_o wife_n be_v of_o my_o mind_n for_o the_o matter_n but_o great_o offend_v with_o i_o for_o seem_v to_o do_v it_o for_o the_o avoid_n of_o danger_n and_o be_v so_o far_o from_o not_o pardon_v these_o false_a smart_a accusation_n that_o she_o never_o once_o blame_v the_o good_a woman_n but_o love_v she_o tender_v she_o and_o relieve_v she_o in_o sickness_n to_o the_o death_n but_o hardly_o forgive_v i_o and_o yet_o draw_v i_o from_o all_o other_o place_n if_o the_o minister_n be_v not_o of_o my_o mind_n by_o prudent_a diversity_n much_o less_o do_v her_o suffering_n from_o the_o time_n distemper_v she_o she_o have_v blame_v i_o for_o name_v in_o print_n my_o loss_n imprisonment_n and_o other_o suffering_n by_o the_o bishop_n as_o be_v over_o selfish_a queralousness_n when_o i_o shall_v rather_o with_o wonder_n be_v thankful_a for_o the_o great_a mercy_n we_o yet_o enjoy_v though_o i_o think_v i_o never_o mention_v they_o as_o over-sensible_a of_o the_o suffering_n but_o as_o a_o necessary_a evince_a of_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o cause_n and_o as_o part_v of_o the_o necessary_a history_n or_o matter_n of_o fact_n in_o order_n to_o decide_v it_o she_z as_o much_o dislike_v the_o silence_v of_o the_o minister_n as_o any_o but_o she_o do_v not_o love_v to_o hear_v it_o much_o complain_v of_o save_v as_o the_o public_a loss_n nor_o to_o hear_v conformist_n talk_v against_o as_o a_o party_n nor_o the_o fault_n of_o the_o conscientious_a sort_n of_o they_o aggravate_v in_o a_o side_a factious_a manner_n but_o 1._o she_o be_v prone_a to_o overlove_v her_o relation_n and_o those_o good_a people_n poor_a as_o much_o as_o rich_a who_o she_o think_v most_o upright_o the_o love_n be_v good_a but_o the_o degree_n be_v too_o passionate_a 2._o she_o over-earnest_o desire_v their_o spiritual_a welfare_n if_o these_o who_o she_o overloved_n have_v not_o be_v as_o good_a and_o do_v as_o well_o as_o she_o will_v have_v they_o in_o innocent_a behaviour_n in_o piety_n and_o if_o rich_a in_o liberality_n it_o over-troubled_n she_o and_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o 3._o she_o be_v apt_a when_o she_o set_v her_o mind_n and_o heart_n upon_o some_o good_a work_n which_o she_o count_v great_a or_o the_o welfare_n of_o some_o dear_a friend_n to_o be_v too_o much_o please_v in_o her_o expectation_n and_o self-made_a promise_n of_o the_o success_n and_o then_o almost_o overturn_v with_o trouble_n when_o they_o disappoint_v she_o and_o she_o too_o impatient_o bear_v unkindness_n from_o the_o friend_n that_o be_v most_o dear_a to_o she_o or_o who_o she_o have_v much_o oblige_v her_o will_n be_v set_v upon_o good_a but_o her_o weakness_n can_v not_o bear_v the_o cross_n or_o frustration_n of_o it_o §_o 12._o but_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o tyrannize_v over_o she_o be_v a_o disease_a fearfulness_n against_o which_o she_o have_v little_o more_o free_a will_n or_o power_n than_o a_o man_n in_o a_o ague_n or_o frost_n against_o shake_v cold_a her_o nature_n be_v prone_a to_o it_o and_o i_o say_v before_o abundance_n of_o sad_a accident_n make_v that_o and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n her_o malady_n beside_o as_o she_o say_v four_o time_n in_o danger_n of_o death_n 2._o and_o the_o storm_a of_o her_o mother_n house_n by_o soldier_n fire_v part_n kill_v plunder_v and_o threaten_v the_o rest_n 3._o the_o awakening_n of_o her_o conversion_n 4._o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n by_o sickness_n present_o before_o her_o peace_n be_v settle_v 5._o the_o fire_n next_o her_o lodging_n in_o sweetings-alley_n 6._o the_o burn_a of_o a_o merchant_n his_o wife_n and_o family_n in_o lothbury_n overagainst_a her_o brother_n vpton_n door_n 7._o the_o common_a terror_n and_o confusion_n at_o dunstan_n church_n in_o fleetstreet_n when_o they_o think_v the_o church_n be_v fall_v on_o their_o head_n while_o i_o be_v preach_v and_o the_o people_n cast_v themselves_o down_o from_o the_o gallery_n 8._o her_o mother_n death_n 9_o the_o friendless_a state_n she_o think_v she_o be_v then_o leave_v in_o 10._o the_o great_a plague_n 11._o the_o burn_v of_o london_n 12._o the_o crack_n and_o danger_n of_o her_o chamber_n in_o aldersgate_n street_n 13._o the_o crack_n and_o confusion_n at_o st._n jame_n market-house_n 14._o the_o many_o fire_n and_o talk_n of_o fire_v since_o 15._o the_o common_a rumour_n of_o murdering_n and_o massacre_n 16._o the_o death_n and_o danger_n of_o many_o of_o her_o friend_n and_o my_o own_o illness_n more_o than_o all_o these_o concur_v to_o make_v fear_n and_o aptness_n to_o be_v trouble_v to_o be_v her_o disease_n so_o that_o she_o much_o dream_v of_o fire_n and_o murderer_n and_o her_o own_o dream_n work_v half_a as_o dangerous_o on_o she_o as_o reality_n so_o that_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o clap_v of_o a_o door_n or_o any_o thing_n that_o have_v suddenness_n noise_n or_o fierceness_n in_o it_o but_o all_o this_o be_v more_o the_o malady_n of_o her_o body_n than_o of_o her_o soul_n and_o i_o account_v have_v little_a moral_a guilt_n and_o i_o take_v it_o for_o a_o evidence_n of_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n that_o so_o timorous_a a_o person_n 1._o have_v overcome_v most_o of_o her_o fear_n of_o hell_n and_o god_n desertion_n 2._o and_o be_v more_o fearless_a of_o persecution_n imprisonment_n or_o loss_n and_o poverty_n thereby_o than_o i_o or_o any_o that_o i_o remember_v to_o have_v know_v §_o 13._o and_o though_o her_o spirit_n be_v so_o quick_a and_o she_o so_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v at_o man_n sin_n who_o she_o much_o love_v she_o great_o differ_v from_o i_o in_o her_o bear_n with_o they_o and_o carriage_n towards_o they_o my_o temper_n and_o judgement_n much_o lead_v i_o to_o use_v my_o dependent_n servant_n and_o friend_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o church-discipline_n and_o if_o they_o hear_v not_o love_v private_a admonition_n once_o twice_o and_o thrice_o to_o speak_v to_o they_o more_o sharp_o and_o then_o before_o other_o and_o to_o turn_v they_o off_o if_o yet_o they_o will_v not_o amend_v but_o her_o way_n be_v to_o oblige_v they_o by_o all_o the_o love_n kindness_n and_o bounty_n that_o she_o be_v able_a and_o to_o bear_v with_o they_o year_n after_o year_n while_o there_o be_v hope_n and_o at_o last_o not_o to_o desert_v they_o but_o still_o use_v they_o so_o as_o she_o though_o be_v like_a at_o least_o to_o keep_v they_o in_o a_o state_n of_o hope_n from_o the_o badness_n which_o displicency_n may_v cause_v i_o can_v not_o have_v bear_v with_o a_o son_n i_o think_v as_o she_o can_v do_v where_o her_o kindness_n be_v at_o she_o own_o choice_n and_o yet_o she_o more_o dislike_v the_o least_o fault_n than_o i_o do_v and_o be_v more_o desirous_a of_o their_o great_a innocency_n and_o exactness_n §_o 14._o indeed_o she_o be_v so_o much_o for_o calmness_n deliberation_n and_o do_v nothing_o rash_o and_o in_o haste_n and_o my_o condition_n and_o business_n as_o well_o as_o temper_v make_v i_o do_v and_o speak_v much_o so_o sudden_o that_o she_o principal_o differ_v from_o i_o and_o blame_v i_o in_o this_o every_o considerable_a case_n and_o business_n she_o will_v have_v i_o take_v time_n to_o think_v much_o of_o before_o i_o do_v it_o or_o speak_v or_o resolve_v of_o any_o thing_n i_o know_v the_o counsel_n be_v good_a for_o one_o that_o can_v stay_v but_o not_o for_o one_o that_o must_v ride_v post_n i_o think_v still_o i_o have_v but_o a_o little_a time_n to_o live_v i_o think_v some_o considerable_a work_n still_o call_v for_o haste_n i_o have_v these_o forty_o year_n be_v sensible_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o lose_v time_n i_o can_v not_o spare_v a_o hour_n i_o think_v i_o can_v understand_v the_o matter_n in_o question_n as_o well_o at_o a_o few_o thought_n as_o in_o many_o day_n and_o yet_o she_o that_o have_v less_o work_n and_o more_o leisure_n but_o a_o far_o quick_a apprehension_n than_o i_o be_v all_o for_o stay_v to_o consider_v and_o against_o haste_n and_o eagerness_n in_o almost_o every_o thing_n and_o notwithstanding_o she_o over_o quick_a and_o feel_a temper_n be_v all_o for_o mildness_n calmness_n gentleness_n pleasingness_n and_o serenity_n §_o 15._o she_o have_v a_o earnest_a desire_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o salvation_n of_o her_o servant_n and_o be_v great_o trouble_v that_o so_o many_o of_o they_o though_o tolerable_a in_o their_o work_n go_v away_o ignorant_a or_o strange_a to_o true_a
duty_n for_o they_o beside_o the_o time_n and_o perhaps_o care_v thought_n that_o all_o his_o family_n expense_n and_o affair_n will_v require_v and_o then_o it_o will_v disquiet_v a_o man_n mind_n to_o think_v that_o he_o must_v neglect_v his_o family_n or_o his_o flock_n and_o have_v undertake_v more_o than_o he_o can_v do_v my_o conscience_n have_v force_v i_o many_o time_n to_o omit_v secret_a prayer_n with_o my_o wife_n when_o she_o desire_v it_o for_o want_v of_o time_n not_o dare_v to_o omit_v far_o great_a work_n 2._o and_o a_o minister_n can_v scarce_o look_v to_o win_v much_o on_o his_o flock_n if_o he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o oblige_v they_o by_o gift_n of_o charity_n and_o liberality_n and_o a_o marry_a man_n have_v seldom_o any_o thing_n to_o spare_v especial_o if_o he_o have_v child_n that_o must_v be_v provide_v for_o all_o will_v seem_v too_o little_a for_o they_o or_o if_o he_o have_v none_o housekeep_v be_v chargeable_a when_o a_o single_a man_n may_v have_v entertainment_n at_o easy_a rate_n and_o most_o woman_n be_v weak_a and_o apt_a to_o live_v in_o fear_n of_o want_n if_o not_o in_o covetousness_n and_o have_v many_o want_v real_a or_o fancy_v of_o their_o own_o to_o be_v supply_v 3._o in_o a_o word_n st._n paul_n own_o word_n be_v plain_a to_o other_o but_o concern_v minister_n much_o more_o than_o other_o man_n 1_o cor._n 7._o 7_o etc._n etc._n i_o will_v that_o all_o man_n be_v as_o i_o myself_o it_o be_v good_a for_o they_o they_o abide_v even_o as_o i_o 28._o such_o shall_v have_v trouble_n in_o the_o flesh_n 32._o i_o will_v have_v you_o without_o carefulness_n he_o that_o be_v unmarried_a care_v for_o the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o the_o lord_n how_o he_o may_v please_v the_o lord_n but_o he_o that_o be_v marry_v care_v for_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n how_o he_o may_v please_v his_o wife_n this_o be_v true_a and_o believe_v it_o both_o care_v for_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n and_o care_v to_o please_v one_o another_o be_v business_n and_o troublesome_a business_n care_v for_o house-rent_n for_o child_n for_o servant_n wage_n for_o food_n and_o raiment_n but_o above_o all_o for_o debt_n be_v very_o troublesome_a thing_n and_o if_o care_v choke_v the_o word_n in_o hearer_n they_o will_v be_v very_o unfit_a for_o the_o mind_n of_o a_o student_n and_o a_o man_n that_o shall_v still_o dwell_v on_o holy_a thing_n and_o the_o please_a of_o a_o wife_n be_v usual_o no_o easy_a task_n there_o be_v a_o unsuitableness_n in_o the_o best_a and_o wise_a and_o like_a face_n be_v not_o so_o unlike_a as_o the_o apprehension_n of_o the_o mind_n they_o that_o agree_v in_o religion_n in_o love_n and_o interest_n yet_o may_v have_v daily_o different_a apprehension_n about_o occasional_a occurrence_n person_n thing_n word_n etc._n etc._n that_o will_v seem_v the_o best_a way_n to_o one_o that_o seem_v worst_a to_o the_o other_o and_o passion_n be_v apt_a to_o succeed_v and_o serve_v these_o difference_n very_o good_a people_n be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v please_v my_o own_o dear_a wife_n have_v high_a desire_n of_o my_o do_v and_o speak_v better_o than_o i_o do_v but_o my_o badness_n make_v it_o hard_o to_o i_o to_o do_v better_o but_o this_o be_v my_o benefit_n for_o it_o be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o on_o to_o be_v better_a as_o god_n himself_o will_v be_v please_v that_o its_o hard_a to_o please_v god_n and_o holy_a person_n be_v only_o our_o fault_n but_o there_o be_v too_o many_o that_o will_v not_o be_v please_v unless_o you_o will_v contribute_v to_o their_o sin_n their_o pride_n their_o wastfulness_n their_o superfluity_n and_o childish_a fancy_n their_o covetousness_n and_o passion_n and_o too_o many_o who_o have_v such_o passion_n that_o it_o require_v great_a skill_n to_o please_v they_o than_o almost_o any_o the_o wise_a can_v attain_v and_o the_o discontent_n and_o displeasure_n of_o one_o that_o be_v so_o near_o you_o will_v be_v as_o thorn_n or_o nettle_n in_o your_o bed_n and_o paul_n conclude_v to_o be_v un-married_n be_v the_o better_a that_o we_o may_v attend_v the_o lord_n without_o distraction_n v._o 35_o 38._o and_o what_o need_v we_o more_o than_o christ_n own_o word_n mat._n 19_o 10_o 11_o 12._o when_o they_o say_v then_o it_o be_v not_o good_a to_o marry_v he_o answer_v all_o man_n can_v receive_v this_o say_n save_v they_o to_o who_o it_o be_v give_v for_o there_o be_v some_o eunuch_n who_o be_v so_o bear_v from_o their_o mother_n womb_n and_o there_o be_v some_o eunuch_n who_o be_v make_v eunuch_n by_o man_n and_o there_o be_v eunuch_n which_o have_v make_v themselves_o eunuch_n for_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n sake_n he_o that_o be_v able_a to_o receive_v it_o let_v he_o receive_v it_o oh_o how_o many_o sad_a and_o careful_a hour_n may_v many_o a_o minister_n have_v prevent_v and_o how_o much_o more_o good_a may_v he_o have_v do_v if_o be_v under_o no_o necessity_n he_o have_v be_v soon_o wise_a in_o this_o §_o 18._o another_o use_n of_o this_o history_n be_v to_o show_v man_n that_o it_o be_v not_o god_n or_o our_o enemy_n afflict_v we_o in_o worldly_a loss_n or_o suffering_n especial_o when_o we_o suffer_v for_o righteousness_n sake_n which_o be_v half_a so_o painful_a as_o our_o own_o inward_a infirmity_n a_o man_n spirit_n can_v bear_v his_o infirmity_n of_o outward_a cross_n but_o a_o wound_a spirit_n who_o can_v bear_v my_o poor_a wife_n make_v nothing_o of_o prison_n distraining_n reproach_n and_o such_o cross_n but_o her_o burden_n be_v most_o inward_a from_o her_o own_o tenderness_n and_o next_o from_o those_o who_o she_o overloved_n and_o for_o my_o own_o part_n all_o that_o ever_o either_o enemy_n or_o friend_n have_v do_v against_o i_o be_v but_o as_o a_o flea-biting_n to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o the_o daily_a burden_n of_o a_o pain_a body_n and_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o faith_n hope_n love_n and_o heavenly_a desire_n and_o delight_n §_o 19_o and_o here_o you_o may_v see_v how_o necessary_a patience_n be_v and_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n fortify_v beforehand_o against_o all_o sort_n of_o suffering_n that_o in_o our_o patience_n we_o may_v possess_v our_o soul_n and_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n must_v expect_v to_o find_v much_o in_o one_o another_o that_o must_v be_v bear_v with_o and_o exercise_v our_o patience_n we_o be_v all_o imperfect_a it_o have_v make_v i_o many_o a_o time_n wonder_v at_o the_o prelate_n that_o can_v think_v it_o the_o way_n to_o the_o concord_n of_o million_o to_o force_v they_o to_o consent_v to_o all_o their_o imposition_n even_o of_o word_n and_o promise_n and_o ceremony_n and_o that_o in_o thing_n where_o conscience_n must_v be_v most_o cautelous_a whereas_o even_o husband_n and_o wife_n master_n and_o servant_n have_v almost_o daily_a difference_n in_o judge_v of_o their_o common_a affair_n §_o 20._o and_o by_o this_o history_n you_o may_v see_v how_o little_a cause_n we_o have_v to_o be_v over-serious_a about_o any_o worldly_a matter_n and_o to_o mind_n and_o do_v they_o with_o too_o much_o intenseness_n of_o affection_n and_o how_o necessary_a it_o be_v to_o possess_v they_o as_o if_o we_o possess_v they_o not_o see_v the_o time_n be_v short_a and_o the_o fashion_n of_o this_o world_n pass_v away_o and_o how_o reasonable_a it_o be_v that_o if_o we_o love_v god_n ourselves_o yea_o or_o our_o friend_n that_o we_o shall_v long_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n where_o they_o be_v far_o more_o amiable_a than_o here_o and_o where_o in_o the_o city_n of_o god_n the_o jerusalem_n above_o we_o shall_v delightful_o dwell_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o whereas_o here_o we_o be_v still_o sure_a to_o stay_v with_o they_o but_o a_o little_a while_n and_o have_v we_o here_o know_v christ_n after_o the_o flesh_n we_o shall_v so_o know_v he_o no_o more_o whereas_o believe_v that_o we_o shall_v soon_o be_v with_o he_o even_o those_o that_o never_o see_v he_o may_v rejoice_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n §_o 21._o last_o here_o you_o may_v see_v that_o as_o god_n servant_n have_v not_o their_o portion_n or_o good_a thing_n in_o this_o life_n so_o they_o may_v have_v the_o same_o sickness_n and_o manner_n of_o death_n as_o other_o lazarus_n may_v lie_v and_o die_v in_o his_o sore_n among_o the_o dog_n at_o the_o door_n when_o dives_n may_v have_v a_o pompous_a life_n and_o funeral_n there_o be_v no_o judge_v of_o a_o man_n sincerity_n or_o of_o his_o future_a state_n by_o his_o disease_n or_o by_o his_o disease_a deathbed_n word_n he_o that_o live_v to_o god_n shall_v die_v safe_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n though_o a_o fever_n or_o deliration_n hinder_v he_o from_o know_v this_o till_o experience_n and_o sudden_a possession_n of_o heaven_n convince_v he_o bless_a be_v the_o dead_a that_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n from_o henceforth_o yea_o say_v the_o spirit_n that_o they_o may_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n do_v follow_v they_o rev._n 14._o 13._o therefore_o in_o our_o great_a strait_n and_o suffering_n let_v we_o comfort_v one_o another_o with_o these_o word_n that_o we_o shall_v for_o ever_o be_v with_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o be_v to_o possess_v the_o company_n of_o my_o friend_n in_o this_o life_n only_o how_o short_a will_v out_o comfortable_a converse_n have_v be_v but_o now_o i_o shall_v live_v with_o they_o in_o the_o heavenly_a city_n of_o god_n for_o ever_o and_o they_o be_v there_o of_o the_o same_o mind_n with_o my_o forgive_a god_n and_o saviour_n will_v forgive_v all_o my_o fail_n neglect_v and_o injury_n as_o god_n forgive_v they_o and_o i_o the_o lord_n give_v and_o the_o lord_n have_v take_v away_o and_o he_o have_v take_v away_o but_o that_o upon_o my_o desert_n which_o he_o have_v give_v i_o undeserved_o near_o nineteen_o year_n bless_a be_v the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o wait_v to_o be_v next_o the_o door_n be_v open_a death_n will_v quick_o draw_v the_o veil_n and_o make_v we_o see_v how_o near_o we_o be_v to_o god_n and_o one_o another_o and_o do_v not_o sufficient_o know_v it_o farewell_o vain_a world_n and_o welcome_a true_a everlasting_a life_n finis_fw-la