c. M. But all this can't be done without a vast charge what must be done in that Respect S. Never trouble your self about that In the first place we must sell shares and Abundance of Places for which we must have the Money down c. M. But then supposeing our Project should Miscarry how must we do then The Persons that have given us Money for Shares and Places will bring their Actions S. To prevent that we must make our Agreements that their Salleries and Advantages shall arise out of the Profits of the Office so that if the Office should fail there would be no cause of Action I know those that have got ten thousand pound by such a Project within these two or three Years and yet 't is like to fail too M. That 's hard tho' to draw in Poor Men and trick 'em out of their Money and what 's worse engage 'em to a needless attendance and after all to shuffle â—em off without any manner of Compensation S. If you 're for Compensation and Cases of Conscience I have done with you Yonder I see Catchpole I 'll go see what he says to the World how now Catchpole who are you in Mourning for C. For an honest Brother that fell a Sacrifice to the cause two or three days ago S. How dost mean a Sacrifice what I warrant he ron himself upon some foolish attempt and so was knock't o' the head for his pains C. Truly he dy'd hard and fair in the Execution of his Office and his Wife like a good Woman buryed him as decently laid him in the vault in St. Andrews Church among the Burgers of the Parish and had a good Sermon for him beside S. That was great to lay him in the vault but who Preacht the Sermon C. Truly I did not know the man but every Body said he talkt very well S. Preacht well how did he Preach C. Why sometimes he talkt very loud and then very gently and soft again and sometimes very Familiarly the chief heads were about Sin and Mortality and then when he came to the business about the man he said as he was stout he was merciful and truly talkt over the Duty of a Baily as if he had understood it as well as the best of us S. Loud soft and Familiar that 's but a sort of antiquated way of Preaching C. I don't trouble my head about forms of Preaching my thinks he did as 't is common in other cases talk well for his Fee and indeed I believe said as much as the Nature of the case would bear S. What was our deceast Brother a man of Repution C. In short he was my Friend and a Dead Baily and therefore I 'll neither say good nor ill of him and so farewell COL IV. Between Scrible Piracy and Hawkwell Piracy FRiend Scrible good morrow but why so sower and thoughtful this morning Scrible Sowr and thoughtful t' would make you sowr and thoughtful to be in my condition Pir. Why pray Mr. Scrible what 's the matter what evil Planet governs now Scr. Ten thousand evil Planets Sir there 's none but evil Planets rule here and in all the rest of the Regions I believe Pir. I find you 'r very angry and disorder'd but come I 'll give you a whet this morning perhaps that may soften you a little Scr. Don't tell me of your whets my Stomack 's sharp enough already if you will give me any thing let it be something for Breakfast if you 'll treat me with a peice of hot Tripe and a Pot or two of Ale I 'm for you Pir. Faith a good motion Mr. Hawkwell what say you I think to be near the Fountain-head we must e'en adjourn to Field-lane and there we may have it piping hot out of the Kettle Hawkwell With all my Heart I shall be always ready to oblige Mr. Scrible in any thing I 'm able Scr. You 're two very honest Gentlemen and indeed I must needs say you have both done me singular favours in a great many particulars but le ts first have the Tripe and then you shall know a little more of my mind Pir. Well Mr. Scrible if you and Mr. Hawkwell will step before to the Bricklayers-Arms and order the Woman to get Six penny-worth of the best I 'll be with you immediately Hawk We are all spoil'd there 's no Tripe to be had till the Afternoon but Mr. Scrible has ordered the Landlady to get a couple of Cow-heels and fry 'em with a good quantity of Onions which I believe will do as well Scr. 'T is the best Victuals in the Universe but only this plaguy Woman is so long in getting 'em ready Pir. She 's just coming but pray in the intrim let 's know Mr. Scrible what it is that has disorder'd you truly I am much affected to find you so much out of sorts Scr. Gentlemen I am fit for nothing till I have fill'd my Belly and when that 's done if you 'll be a little patient I have something of moment to communicate to you besides here comes the Breakfast Hawk Well Mr. Scrible now we have breakfasted pray oblige us with the reason of your uneasiness Scr. I find you will have it and I believe 't is your guilt that urges you to press me so hard in short you are the 2 Rascals or some of your gang that have been the occasion of my disturbance Hawk Rascals a scurvy term Mr. Scrible but how have we been the cause of your disturbance Scr. Why you for your part Mr. Hawkwell like a Dog as you are make it your business to hunt and listen about Town and to observe every little Paper that comes out and if you find it pleases the Mob and is like to sell then you carry it to your Friend Piracy and he crowds four or five Sheets into one and Prints it and sends it abroad at a Penny or rather then fail at a Half-penny apiece though before 't was sold at Six pence or a Groat at least and so you Cheat or rather Rob both the Author and the Bookseller and will at last occasion an embargo upon the Press and then you and your whole Fraternity may first starve and then be damn'd together Pir. Mr. Scrible You 're so passionate that there 's no speaking to you supposing all this I can't see how the Author can be a sufferer he sells his Copy to the Bookseller so that if the Book be privately Printed the damage falls upon him Scr. A very hansome come off indeed why then you think 't is neither Sin nor Knavery to cheat the Bookseller you think I suppose that he makes up his Markets upon the Author and so you may Rob him by way of Reprizal Pir. Truly with respect to the Booksellers I cannot say but there may be some small Injustice but for your part Mr. Scribble you have no Injury done you at all Scr. With your leave Mr. Compendious I can demonstrate that
the Author 's the only Person that 's injur'd Pir. How can that be Mr. Filch for since you 're so good at hard Names and Demonstrations I believe it will be easy to prove that most of your Tribe are as compendious Thieves and Robbers as any Printers or Hawkers about Town Scr. Sir my Guts are at Peace and so would I too and therefore give good Words and avoid Comparisons or 't is not your Cow-heel Treat c. shall save your Bacon Hawk Gentlemen here shall be no quarrelling if you will debate the matter with Moderation well and good if not Mr. Piracy you and I 'll be gone and leave him to rave by himself Scr. Mr. Hawkwell I 'm not so much for fighting as you imagine only Mr. Piracy is pleas'd to throw his Reflections upon Authors and withal would have me believe 't is no Injury to us to have our Books printed upon us Pir. I tell you again that if you sell your Copies to the Booksellers you can have no Injury and then for your thieving 'tis too plain for contradiction pray what do you think of that worthy Brother that compos'd the Trip to Holland do ye think he did not make a very large Trip into Felton's Resolves And for the Spark that writ the first Trip with his leave he made several Trips into places where he had no Business The best of you all do but steal and pilfer from one another tho some of you have a little better Faculty in transprosing than the rest and so perhaps may pass undiscover'd Scr. Piracy I tell thee thou art a Scoundrel I cannot bear to hear the Dignity of Authors traduc'd at this rate what you won't allow us the privilege of a little modest Quotations Pir. Very modest Quotations indeed to steal whole Pages nay sometimes whole Books and crowd in a few of your new Words and some of your own Nonsence and then impudently sell it to the Bookseller as if 't was a Brat of your own begetting Scr. And to make 'em amends you rob 'em again What if we do make bold with a Page or two now and then I hope that 's no Argument for you to steal whole Volumns In short you 're a Company of Mercenary Varlets and so I 'll trouble my Head no further with you Hawk Come then Mr. Scrible we 'll call a new Cause Have you any thing new if you have Mr. Piracy and I 'll deal with you for it for ready Money Pir. Faith as Hawkwell says let 's be Friends we 're all of a-piece and if you have any new thing we 'll give you as much for 't as the best Bookseller of 'em all Scr. Supposing you would I don't see where's the necessity for your buying Copies you have them all for nothing I think Pray where did you buy the Copies of your Aesops the Dragon and Grashopper the History of the Standing Army Elegy on the Death of Trade Oliver's and Stephen's Sermons and twenty other little things you have printed If you had common Humanity you 'd be asham'd nay be starv'd before you 'd be guilty of such insolent Villanny robbing upon the High-way House-breaking and picking of Pockets are but modest Theevries in comparison to your impudent Piracy Sell you my Copies I 'll use 'em first as Merry Andrew said of his Tallys and Chequer-Bills light Fires and single Pigs with ' em Pir. I wish I had known your mind an hour or two sooner the Devil should have stufl'd you with Ale and Cow-heel for me Hawk This is but the Copy of Mr. Scrible's Countenance but if he 'll be rul'd and take advice we can put him in a way how he shall live better than any of his Brotherhood Scr. I defy your Advice and Assistance I 'm confident there 's nothing but deep and deliberate Knavery can proceed from such intolerable Wretches but you are not worth more of my Trouble and so I 'll leave you if the Law has not provided a Punishment sutable to you to the correction of the Mob and the guilt of your own Consciences COL V. Between Art Industry and Cringe Industry SIster Art Whither are you so solemnly bound this Evening and why so thoughtful and contemplative Art Why truly Sister I was going to take a solitary walk in St. James's Park I have nothing to do and so was thinking to take a melancholy turn or two upon the Mall In. That 's my condition too and if I thought I should not be burthensome I 'd bear you company Art A Sister and a Friend can never be ungrateful conversation nor burthensome and indeed I 'm rejoyc'd we are met so luckily that we may have an opportunity to condole and advise with each other pray Sister direct me if you â—an what we must do for a subsistance in this hard â—ncharitable Age In. I was just going to put the same Question to you but yonder comes Cringe let 's call him to us and see what he says to the Case Mr. Cringe if your occasions are not urgent a word with you Cr. Madam me have no occations at all Begar me have noting to do no Money no Credit my Wife bawl my Shildren cry for Bread my Landâ—ord dun for Rent my Goods all pawn'd and Begar me go make hang upon my self Art This Wretch Sister is in a worse condition than either of us Mr. Cringe how came all these misfortunes to fall upon you together Cr. All des misfortune bin but one misfortune me have no Money Begar dat bin all my misfortune In. But why should you be so turbulent and outragious you see the English bear their wants with the utmost calmness and moderation Cr. For what you tell me of de English Begar de English have no Head no Thought no Soul no Brains England been ou very good Nation full of ou very foolish ou very poor and Begar ou very cheating People Art But why should you give old England all â—hese hard Names she has been very kind to your Countrey-men the French Protestants Cr. De French Protestant very good but me be no French Protestant me bin ou French Papish Naturalize in de Reign of King Jaque and Begar me have no good luck never since for what you call de French Protestant dey be de French Scoundrell dey be in de general de French Vagabond de Rubbidg and de Excrement of de whole Kingdom In. Come don't be so severe upon your Country-men Mr. Cringe they 're a very sedulous Industrious People and live very well Cr. For what you call live very well Dey live in de Garret in de Cellar dey eat de Sheeps Head and the Root dey starve all de Week to live well and wear de fine Clothes upon de Sonday Art Well they are to be commended for that however but Multitudes of 'em are got into great Shops have large Stocks good Trades get Money and live much better than the English Cr. Begar Madam you make me
laugh who bin de Fool den But Madam me will tell you dat bin de Folly of de English dey must have de French Taylour de French Cooke and de French Master dey must have the French Glove and de French Shoe Begar must have de French all but the French Policy In. Truly what Mr. Cringe says in that Particular is a great Truth the English are strangely bigotted to 'em and tho we infinitely exceed 'em in every Vocation and our Commodities are much preferrable to theirs yet unless they have a French Stamp upon 'em they 'll hardly pass Muster with a great many of our English Gentry Art I must confess I have often thought upon what you say with a great deal of just Concern and Astonishment and withal I am very confident that that was one of the fatal Causes that brought the grey Hairs of our good old Mother Trade with Sorrow to her Grave and is the â—hief Instrument of our present Misfortunes Cr. Dat bin very true Madam dey live hard dey under-sell de English dey wheedle fawn â—atter and begar dey lie dey spoile de Trade â—nd will at last be de Destruction of de glorious English Nation In. But Mr. Cringe you han't told us the cause of your misfortunes yet Cr. Me told you me bin one French Papish me â—rust trust trust de English Jacobite dey pay me with noting but News and Romance dey make me break and now I may be starve Art Now you talk of King James what do â—our Friends the Jacobites say of the matter since â—he Peace Cr. For what you ask me dat me know noâ—ing me believe noting me meddle with noting â—nd begar me have noting In. What have you got in your Bag Mr. Cringe Cr. Dis bin Mourning for Minheer Van Beltchâ—nd-Fart for de Death of de English Trade In. What then does Minheer love the English Trade so well to go into Mourning for her Death Cr. Begar he love her very well over de left â—houlder but me say more of dat another time Art I think Sister it will be too late to Night â—or the Park and so if you please we 'll defer our â—alk till another time our Kinswoman Credit I â—ear is in a very languishing condition and therefore we 'll make her a Visit where we may speâ—d the remainder of the Evening in the mutual Coâ—dolement of each other COL VI. Between Sneak Turbulent and Infallibility Sneak. FRiend Infallibility I am heartily rejoyc'd to see thee and I bring thee the Thanks of our whole Party for thy late Friendship and Assistance in our Norfolk Rencounter Infallibility Mr. Sneak I thank you and your Party for all Favours but pray what says the World of that Matter Sn. Thou know'st friend the World is a common Lyar there 's no great matter of dependance upon any thing the World says but I can tell thee what the Quakers have got more Reputation by thy Letters and Advice in the management of that Conference than in any thing they ever undertook in that nature before In. I am glad to hear it and if they would but observe two things they 'd find their Number and their Interest increase daily First to be sure to keep their Friends behind the Curtain And secondly to evade all manner of Methods and Scholastick Rules in their Conferences if they do the first they betray both their Cause and their Friends if the latter they 'll most certainly be baffled and confounded Sn. Friend I think these are two needless Cautions the first is inconsistent with their Credit and Policy and the last with their very Nature In. If you have any thing of Moment further be brief for here will be Turbulent the Presbyterian presently and then we must call a new Cause Sn. All that I have further at present is to ask your advice whether it will be convenient to send a new Challenge for another Conference some of our Brethren seem very urgent for it In. By all means if you can urge your Adversaries to accept it if you get no advantage you can lose none at worst it will entitle you to a considerable deal of Reputation to be thought opposites for so potent an Enemy as the Church of England you have Rules before you i.e. to deport your selves with Calmness and Moderation to cajole the People wrangle when you 'r pinch't and to evade close Arguings and for answers to their Letters c. you may depend upon your Friends Sn. Our Party must needs own and esteem your Friendship and upon occasion you may be confident you 'll find 'em grateful In. Gratitude's a God-like principle but here 's Mr. Turbulent Mr. Turbulent your humble Servant Tur. Gentlemen both your Servant Mr. Sneak I 'm glad to find you in such good Company Sn. Why truly Friend I have a great value for the Conversation of Mr. Infallibility In. And Gentlemen I think my self very happy in the Society of two such worthy Friends but pray Mr. Turbulent how grow the Seeds of Discord is there like to be a good Crop this Season Tur. In troth I think pretty well the Anabaptist Independent your People Mr. Sneak Ours and yours two Mr. Infallibility are industriously pecking at the English Church In. And what I like best of all they 're pecking one at another the Jurat against the Non-Jurat and the high-flown against the low-flown Indeed I must needs bâ— of the Opinion of one of their own scurvy Writers i. e. the Author of the Decay of Christian Piety that their Church is a vivacious Animal and can never die without killing her self Tur. If she dies any how 't is no matter which way but what are the chief matters in dispute between the Jurats and the Non-Jurats In. Why several very great things but the two chief are the Legality of their Deprivations and the manner and cause of their separation from each other Tur. What then have they broke their Unity and made a Separation Why then one of the Parties must be guilty of a Schism for 't is impossible they should be both in the right In. Truely that 's St. Cyprian's Notion of it Schism says he consists in the breaking or tearing the Unity and dividing that which should be kept together Cyp. de unit Eccl. p. 105. and 119. id Ep. 44. p. 86. and St. Chrysostome is of the same Opinion in H. 3. ad Cor. Sn. I hope Mr. Infallibility your People won't fail to make the most of this advantage In. No no we have it set down in the Book of Remembrance and shall be sure to make use of it upon occasion Tur. Then I find Mr. Sneak's one of us I 'm glad to see our Party grow so fast sure we shall have our ends at last upon this paultry Church of England In. Yes yes he 's effectually one of us and since we 're so happily met le ts think what each of us can do in his respective Station to carry