Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n
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A52943
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New news from Bedlam, or, More work for Towzer and his brother Ravanscroft alias hocus pocus whipt and script, or, A ra-ree new fashion cupping glass most humbly represented to the observator : wherein the various shapes ... / by Theophilus Rationalis ...
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Rationalis, Theophilus.
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1682
(1682)
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Wing N685; ESTC R34539
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58,114
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106
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they are not my own but they are of about twenty years standing to the best of my remembrance and perusing them since I last parted from You they wrought so much upon me even to a Conversion Isabella Oh let us hear them by all means but pray tell me where you had them I. P. I was lately at a Torys or rather at a Tantivys Study in high Holborn who hath by him all sorts of Popish Prelatical Jesuitical and a few Fanatical Books and among those last named which were put in a By-hole as if intended for the last use of wast Paper I found these Verses which as soon as I had perused I fairly put them up into my Pocket asking no questions for Conscience sake but however I do intend to tell him of it next time we meet at Sams Coffee-House which is hard by this Tavern where we are now so pleasantly merry Isabella For Customs Books I see none are so kind To give his due to Caesar or 's Friend to mind But keep them as a Prize and nere repent Though ' gainst our three States in full Parliament But however I long to hear your Verses let them be what they will for I am fixed as to my own Persâ—â—sion as to matters Spiritual but as to things Temporal I must submit my Self to our triple and thrice Noble State Hocus I understand you but Mum for that although you spake a little too loud and I over-heard you I. P. Here Madam Pray Read to your Self and let none hear you Isabella I cannot allow of that they must be Read that all must hear for you may remember William our Drawer here was to be Umpire between you and Mr. Hocus I. P. I beg your Pardon but I did not think of that being so much in Love with your proper Person Isabella Or rather Mr. Jocus you should have replied good VVits have short Memories But pray to the Point in Hand I. P. I am now just at the Point and the Title of my Verses is as followeth viz. The Asses Complaint against Balaam or The Cry of the Country against Ignorant and Scandalous Ministers To the Reverend Bishops YE Mitred Members of the House of Peers The Kings Church-VVardens and Gods Overseers Fathers in Christ VVe your poor Children Cry Oh give us Bread of Life or else we Dye For we are Burdn'd with our old Sir Johns VVhen we ask Bread they allways give us Stones And only Cant a Homily or two VVhich Daws and Magpies may be taught to do Drunkards Canonical unhallowed Bears The name of God more oft in Oaths then Prayers Into what Darkness will Our Church be hurl'd If such as these be call'd the Light o' th VVorld These that have nought to prove themselves devout Save only this That Cromwell turn'd them out Mistake us not we do not mean those Loyal And Learned Souls who in the fiery Tryal Suffer'd for King and Conscience sake let such Have double Honour we shall ne'r think much But this our tender Conscience dis-approves That Ravens should return as well as Doves And Croak in Pulpits once again to bring A second Judgment on Our Church and King Though England doth not fear another Loss ' Cause God hath Burn'd his Rods at Charing cross Yet CLERGY Sins may call him to the Door Even him who whipt and scourg'd them out before Oh therefore ye that Read the Sacred Laws Eject their Persons and disown their Cause God and the King have both Condemn'd this Crew Then let them not be Patroniz'd by you 'T is not their Cassocks nor their Surplices VVe Quarrel at there is no harm in these VVe own their Habit but yet every Fool Cannot be call'd a Monk that wears a Cowl VVere Grace and Learning wanting by your leaves VVe would not pin our Faith on your Lawn sleeves 'T is Aarons Breast-Plate and those sacred VVords Become a Church-Man Oh 't is that my Lords Which pious Baxter makes his Livery VVould all our Curates were but such as he Pardon my Lords we do not make this stir To vindicate the Factious Presbyter VVe hate his ways and equally disown The Zealous Rebel as the idle Droan And beg as oft to be deliver'd from The Kirk of Scotland as the See of Rome VVe pray for Bishops too that they may stand To heal the mad Distractions in our Land Then give us Priests Loyal and painful too To give to Caesar and to us our Due God save King Charles our Christian Faiths Defendor And bring Religion to its ancient Splendor Amen Hocus Pax of this Tory what is he now turn'd Whig On purpose to draw in my pretty Pig A Stab I 'le give him which shall cure his Itch Save him from burning like to an old Witch Isabella If that he be 't is of the better sort Call'd Common Prayer Whigs who do resort Unto their Parish Church I like him well I think those Verses are a charming spell He is a Baptist Whig that shining Light Who was Praecursor to that Star so bright Who brought the Wise Men from the East to see The only Son of Soveraign Majesty Hocus Madam the whole that you have now to do Is to hear Will what he will say to you Isabella Pray Will remember both the Whig and Pye Let not your Lipps now give your Heart the Lye Speak you the Naked Truth and shame the Divel Give me the least but not the greatest Evil. Of these two Gallants who have tryed their skill To purchase Favour and our kind good will Drawer As near as I can I will the Truth Judge And soon I will help you unto a true Drudge Gentlemen and Ladies pray hearken to what I was entrusted withal I have been serious and extreamly civil Unto my Masters who have got the Evil Which they call Love though some do call it vile You may take both or else take Cross or Pile I do declare that Hocus he hath got The weather-gage of your Jack Pudding Plot. Then take your Bride and let Jack-Pudding run For help again to Towzers Elder Gun And Pocus likewise be you like Sylvester Straightway to Bed with this her only Sister All things are ready fixed for each Bride For you this Night to sleep here by their side Hocus Will I do thank you for your Justice done To me your Servant and true rising Sun Here take my promise which I made before And for your Bill pray put it on the Score I 'le hast to Bed unto my own Dear Wife Who is the joy and comfort of my Life Drawer And are they gon these Jesuits they have got Instead of Riches a true Pouder-Plot They both will find before the Night be spent Enough to make them straightway keep a Lent They both are Whores and if Jack-Pudding sorrow To chear him up I 'le tell the truth to morrow And may they all be whipt and stripped thus Who come to kill with Romes old Blunderbuz A wonder strange by these two Whores in
these Rogues now for this too nearly concerns him and I perceive he is most desperately netled at them for putting this slur upon him now he is here in his own proper person R. L. You know our consultation together was That whatever we heard them say We were to answer nothing but Mum and therefore neither of us must Retort whatever we do hear as to our own particulars but afterwards we may all witness against them what we please Nat. Ridens Ben. I. P. and so we will as sure as Eggs be Eggs. 6. T. C. From that Observator who would us now rob Of all our five Sences to do the Pope's Jobb Who its fear'd at the last will prove but a dull Hobb When the Pope and his Party shall give him the bobb Libera Nos c. R. L. mum mum mum Whiggs hum hum hum 7. T. C. From Brazen-Fac't Nat. that Billingsgate slave Who writes for the Pope that right Scarlet Knave VVho bids Nat. still write Loyal us all to out-brave On purpose in time here us all to enslave N. T. mum mum mum Libera Nos c. Whigs hum hum hum Harry There 's a double one against Nat pray do not skip Mr. Christianus if you do I will tell the truth 8. T. C. From Protestant Nat that true Romish Elf VVho tacks towards Tiber on purpose for Pelf But let him beware of the old Roman shelf And that after he 's drown'd he don 't hang himself N. T. Mum Mum. Libera Nos c. Whigs Hum Hum Hum. 9. T. C. From I. P. That Goose-cap and Fop of a Man And all of that Tribe from Bershcba to Dan VVho runs up and down like a Bell-VVeather Ram To blind the Popes PLOT by a Protestant Sham. I. P. Mum Mum Mum. Libera Nos c. 10. T. C. From Ben. Tooks new Vessel and Cargo of Lice And from his late Venture to Whigland for Rice VVhich new spot of Land is full of rare Mice And it is in Utopia all covered with Ice Libera Nos c. B. T. Mum Mum Mum. R. L. A Pax of these Whigs this wont do our business I do not hear one word like unto Treason as yet in this new Loyal Protestant Letany If Harry sham us we shall be sham'd for ever I. P. Don't question that now is the time or never Harry You see they begin but moderately but you shall hear by and by what whisking High Treason they have about the latter end of their Letany R. L. Come come Let them go on and prosper Hark hark hark Boys hark 11. T. C. From the Libelling Tribe of Towzers in grain Who sprang from St. Omers a very fine strain To be here Nurs'd up Loyal Fanns to defame And damn all Dissenters on purpose for gain Whigs Hum Hum Hum. Libera Nos c. 12. T. C. From all those grand Tories who would us now bring From a Protestant Prince to a true Popish King VVhich if once here effected the Bells they must ring And the Poor Fanns at Tyburn fetch many a swing Libera Nos c. 13. From French Whores in England and Jesuits from France From a Popish Successor who would lead us a Dance From Tiber to Tyburn where we must advance And take our last farwel in Ned Colemans chance Libera Nos c. 14. From all such Sham-Plotters who now run about From Tavern to Tavern and make such a rout To trepan honest Men and root them all out Their Villanies sure will at length be found out Libera Nos c. 15. From such Divels incarnate who would us now sham By a new Counter Plot the true old one to Damn Where there 's thousands engaged a fine pleasant flam A whole Colledg of Joyners although hardly one man Libera Nos c. 16. From the Bell and the Dragon who still do so rage With such Fury and Madness in almost every Page Of R. L. H. and T. th'grand Hobbs of this Age Sent Post from Belzebub to act on his Stage Whigs Hum Hum Hum Libera Nos c. 17. From those Bullies in Newgate who now do so rant And gave thanks in Print for a New Colledge Plant Who spake Words like Treason as some Tories grant VVhen they were hooping and hollowing at an Irish Courant Libera Nos c. 18. From such Irish Cattle who cannot fare well And be Treated by Friends but must presently tell Such words to requite them as will ring out their Knell Only Treason and Murder as a Pasport to Hell Libera Nos c. D. A. In troth Mr. Observator this Letany tends nothing to Edification this Rogue Harry I am afraid hath shamm'd us for I have caught him napping I think as Moss caught his Mare for you may remember he told us of a Loyal Protestant Letany both for Church and State and we hear nothing as yet of the Church which is Hysteron proteron secundum Gracum or as we say in English The Cart before the Horse unless the Church Letany be yet behind Har. Why Gentlemen let me tell you it is very usual with these Whiglanders so to do for if they should proceed according to your expectation you would then think they were regular Sons of the Church of England but as to that I leave it to your more grave and prudent Considerations whether it be true or false but the Church Letany is just now coming within two or three Stanza's and the great Hogan Mogan Treason comes after that D. A. Well Harry thou art a brave fellow if thy words prove true come we will have yet patience to hear the remainder Harry Why Gentlemen If the worst come to the worst that is to say if they should break off abruptly when they have done with the Church before they come to the Treason I have it all by Heart and also the Key to it to unlock every Syllable as Mr. Tel-Truth hath Explained it to me and you shall as surely have it from me as this Cap is now upon my Head which I do wear at present for a Cold which I caught setting up too late with them at their private Cabals but I had rather you should hear the Treason Viva Voce which I presume would be much more to your full content and satisfaction for the making out of the Protestant PLOT which you have already posted all over the Nation and should you now fail thereof I should be heartily sorry for you and your Reputations sake I will assure you D. A. Upon my honest word he speaks like a Conjurer I will give him one Guinny more for his future encouragement take it here Harry I most humbly thank you Sir 19. From a Learned grand Councel of five hundred Men With brave Nobles and Peers of a true Loyal Stem To be fetcht up to School and sent home agen On the eighth morning after when the Clock had siruck ten Libera Nos c. 20. D. A. I can have no patience but sit upon Thorns till