the Knight and Ladys in a very hot Dispute concerning the Constancy of Men and the Inconstancy of Women in affairs of Love Marwoud had gotten on Horse-back just as they were beginning to be warm in their Arguments and ordered one of the Footmen to tell Sir Francis if he should ask for him that he was gone to make a Visit to a Drunken friend of his about 7 or 8 Miles thence and that he should not wonder if he did not return to Night for he doubted there might be hot Service Having left this Charge with the Servant he Rode for London with all the Convenient speed that might be where he found himself about Nine a Clock He was so Impatient that he hardly could give himself time to change his Boots for Shoos ere he went to see for Polydor. By good fortune for him he could not light on him that Night But the next Morning early he took him in Bed Polydor said he you must rise I have Business with you This he spoke in a Tone so different from that he used to salute his Friend in formerly that Polydor almost guessed what he intended which made him say Rising Certainly your Business with me is very strange and urgent that you Visit me thus early and with that unusual Roughness which you are not wont to accost me with But continued he I am ready to give my Friends all manner of satisfaction becoming a Gentleman I know it Polydor said Marwoud else I had not given my self the trouble to call you to an Account for an Injury done to a Person of Quality and my most respected Acquaintance I don't know what you mean answer'd Polydor but I 'le give you the best account I can You must restore the Ring and Purse which you pretended was given you by Ariadne How Marwoud said Polydor pretended to be given me And must Restore them Prithee to whom To me reply'd Marwoud No Marwoud cry'd he Not so Bring me to that Ariadne that gave me the Ring and left the Purse with me and you may prevent farther Mischief Talk not of preventing said Marwoud I came to seek it On my word reply'd Polydor you are fonder on 't than I am However I will help you to as much as may satisfie you within this Hour if you please to let me see you behind Clarenden House Well! Good Morrow said Marwoud I 'le expect you there an hour hence He went directly to the place appointed where Polydor after he was dressed according to a laudable Custom which he had always observed threw himself on his Knees and recommended the Care of his Soul and Body to Heaven And I believe if with Honour he might have avoided it he woâ—â—d not have fought any man in cold Blood much less one that had been his Friend He could not yet imagine what obliged Marwoud to demand the Ring and Gold He went considering on the odness of that Mornings Encounter till he came to the aforesaid place where he found Marwoud ready to receive him with all the Gallantry and Resolution of a Generous Enemy Said Polydor I could wish Marwoud that this matter might be otherwise determin'd than by the Sword Especially between us two 'T is in vain reply'd Marwoud drawing The Sword alone must end this Dispute with one of our Lives Forbid it Heaven said Polydor standing on his Guard Marwoud was very Furious and Violent in his Passes which Polydor very calmly put by But Marwoud continuing very eager made one home Thrust and slightly wounded Polydor in his left Arm who immediately threw himself into his enraged Enemy and â—â—â—arm'd him Here Marwoud said Polydor take your Sword I will not injure your Courage so muâ—â— as to expect you sâ—â—â—â—d ask your Life What damn'd misfortunes this cry'd Marwoud receiving his Sword I thank thee Polydor but I must again employ it against thy Life I must be ungrateful continued he my unhappy Circumstances oblige me to it That 's somewhat hard reply'd Polydor however I cannot fear to fight that man a second time whom I have once disarm'd And now Sir added he with a threatning Gesture This bout may be more fatal to you than the former I 'le take it as it comes said Marwoud They both made several Passes and Polydor was run quite through the right Thigh but it was only a Flesh-wound having mist the Sinews This vex'd him heartily and he prest most Vâ—gorously on his Rival insomuch that he made him retreat about two yards of Ground and pursuing his Advantage ran him into the Sword Arm almost as far as his Breast There his Sword was so engag'd that he could not easily get it out mean while Marwoud was shifting his own Sword into his left hand that he might shorten it and run him into the Back but Polydor prevented him by throwing him on the Ground where he took from him both the Swords Marwoud's he stuck into the Earth and broke it short almost to the Hilt Now said he Marwoud thou hast the Reward of Ingratitude farewell if thou canst I 'le send somebody to help thee assoon as I reach the Town No hold said Marwood let me walk with you I have my due and I am satisfied And I thank Heaven that we have both scap'd with Life No thanks to you though Sir said Polydor. They both made shift to get to St. Jamses where they took Coach and were both Carried to the same Chyrurgeon who assur'd 'em there was no great danger on either side but Marwoud's was somewhat the worse When the Wounds were dressed they embraced very kindly and were as good friends seemingly as ever they had been formerly I dare engage that Polydor was real but for Marwoud I can not say much for he plaid him an ill trick after this They parted for the present and went to their several Lodgings About twelve a Clock Sir Francis came in puffing hast to Marwouds whom he found upon his Bed asleep and in a fine breathing Sweat He was going to steal away softly to leave him to his Repose but it seems he could not avoid making so much Noise as waked Marwoud Who 's there cry'd he Your Friend said Sir Francis I 'm glad to see you alive How is it with Polydor Marwoud was amaz'd to hear him ask so pertinent a Question not apprehending how he should know any thing of their last dispute I think Sir said he Polydor is as well if not better than I am I 'm sure his Fortune was But in the name of wonder how came you acquainted with our Difference Ariadne when you were gone was fearful of what might ensue on what she had said to you reply'd Sir Francis and could not rest till she had told me where you were gone which brought us all to Town this Morning by ten a Clock in hopes to prevent what I see is already too severely performed Ay alas cry'd Marwoud with too severe Success on his side Curse on this weak Arm that
But I don't care for 't at second hand Lord cry'd Polydor lifting up his Hands and Eyes what a delicate reasonable Wife have I got I warrant continu d he looking pleasantly on Ariadne you could be satisfy'd barely with Kissing Eating and Drinking with me Nay I can't tell that said she But I see you are providing against the worst No no Dear Heart cry'd Polydor transported with Joy for the best for the best Ariadne Nay said she I know ne'r another of the Name besides my self and if all these pains be taken for me I am much oblig'd to you for methinks you sweat at it I shall before we ha' done said he no doubt Thus did they eat and talk till they were weary of both The Cloth was taken away and the Glass went round merrily as long as one Bottle lasted Then fell Polydor to kissing again Till he made both himself and his Lady mad And I 'm afraid he did not a little disoblige Miranda who was fain to go humming about the Room to divert the Thoughts that sometimes did Assault her Well now cry'd Ariadne I swear I can endure no longer Pray sit farther and let us parley a little You may remember continued he you gave me a Ring to day Ay said he I fancy I did what of that Only I mean to return your kindness said she pulling of a Rich Diamond-Ring of her finger pray wear this for my sake And now continued she I must beg you would Entertain your self with the Bottle till our Return for my Cosin and I must be private for a Minute or two And that you may not altogether be Drinking pray take the pains to tell over this Gold said she throwing a Purse full on the Table There should be a Hundred peices See Sir Your Servant for a time Nay nay said Polydor I like the Employment pretty well since I must be rob'd of thy dear Company so long as these two Minutes Good Sir said Miranda don 't be Jealous I 'le be your Argus If I thought my Ariadne needed Watching replied he I would e'en leave her to the wide World And her own Roving humour This he spoke Kissing her she dropt him a Cursey and out she went with Miranda He presently fell to telling the Broad peices which he found exact y an Hundred in Number He put them up very carefully and laid them again on the Table And took a March three or four times about the Room At last he bethought himself and takes to the Bottle Well honest Polydor said he her 's to thee Thy dear Ariadnes good health But I gad methinks she stays sweetly He drank off his glass and expected almost a quarter of an hour longer with indifferent Patience But seeing no Ariadne come yet he called up a Waiter and asked him where the two Ladies were that went down about half an hour ago They took Coach Sir said the Waiter assoon as they left you Why 't is Impossible Thou art Drunk sure Saying so He took up the Gold in all hast and ran down to the Bar to be more fully satisfied of his Misfortune which he was too soon He ran up into the Room again like a man distracted where he shut the Door to himself and fell a railing at all Women kind What! fitted thus said he 't is very devilish What a dam'd Sot was I to lâ—t her go But rather what an Eternal Coxcomb to Marry such a Jilt This is no more Ariadne I warrant than I am Ariadne 'T is impossible a Person of her Quality and Education should be guilty of so lewd an Action Where the Devil should she go Or what Business had she but with me I find I am meerly drawn into a Prison Ay ay shee 's in Debt I 'le lay my Life on it and I must suffer the weight of all the Actions that are laid against her So hey for a Prison But may she not happily be gone to her Brothers Then shall I look on my self as a rash Jealous Fop. Well continued he I am resolved I 'le see Immediately upon this thought he flies down Stairs calls for a Bill but he was answered 't was all paid Paid Ha! marry said he to himself I like the Matter the better for this Come come Chear up my Heart All may be well yet He call d presently for a Coach and on he drives to Sir Francis's but just as he came near the House his Courage fail'd him and he was set down within five or six doors of it He stood still sometime considering what he should do whether it were Convenient to go directly thither and ask for her or to pretend a Visit to her Brother and so learn in discourse what was become of Ariadne But at last he bethought himself of a better Expedient He knocked at the door and asked if his Friend were there with whom he drank in the Morning The Footman that opened the door told him he was just risen from Dinner with Sir Francis Prithee then tell him said Polydor I would speak with him here The Footman did so and presently led him to Polydor. O my dear Friend said Polydor with a great deal of Concern I must needs drink another Bottle with you this Minute you shall not deny me I am so very Melancholly and out of humour that you will be very unkind if you do Well said he I 'le but just make my baise les mains to Sir Francis and stay one half hour with you He just went in and return'd to his perplex'd Friend They went to the same House again where they drank their Mornings Draught together And Polydor began his Circumlocutions before he came to the business Dear Friend said he how happy am I to meet thee again at a time when I stood in most need of thy Company I have met with un untoward Accident since I left thee which has so disturb'd me I cannot yet Compose my self But come continu'd he Help me to divert the thought on 't Let 's drink and talk of things indifferent When saw you the Beautiful Ariadne whom you so lowdly commended in the Morning Not since last Night answered his Friend she went out o' Town this Morning before seven a' Clock as far as St. Albans to a Cousin of hers who is taken desperately ill one whom she loves most dearly Sir Francis went with her himself as far as High-Gate She had an Hackney-Coach and four Horses that waited on her thither empty till she left her Brother Ha! said Polydor does she go often out of Town has she such frequent Excursions She 's hardly at Home reply'd his Friend three days in a Week together A pretty sort of a Lady cry'd Polydor Is it a he Cousin or a she Cousin she 's gone to Visit A very pretty Lady 't is ile assure you said he Why dost not thou strike in with this same Ariadne or with some of her fine Cousins said Polydor. O she 's too great for
Polydor I am a very unfortunate Fellow indeed For the loss of a Friend grieves me a thousand times more than my Imprisonment But continu'd he did he say I ow'd him any Money No Sir replyed the Serjeant he told us the Debt was real and Contracted by a Lady whom you had lately Marry'd This is all a Riddle to me said Polydor But I thank you Gentlemen for your Information I find I am made the sport of Fortune of late I was a happy Fellow and at Liberty once But now Well! Gentlemen your Servant I thank you for this Liberty Why Sir will you be going already said he who Invited him into the Lodge Dinner is just a coming I believe by this time Be pleas'd then Gentlemen reply'd Polydor to feed heartily when it do's come and Invite some of your Friends in the House to eat with you that want it most at least be pleased to send 'em what you think fit for my part I care not for eating I must mind my own business I see And pray let me entreat the favour of you to let me have a careful Messenger sent to me and you shall command me as much another time if I ever am in a Capacity of serving you Ay Sir wee 'l be sure to send you a very honest Fellow answer'd one of 'em but we are sorry you will not Dine when you have already given order for Meat I thank you Sir said Polydor I have business of greater concern than Dining once more your Servant The Gate was soon open'd to him you may believe and to his dark Apartment he went directly Where after two or three hearty Sighs he began How shou'd Marwoud come acquainted with my Ariadne How came she to employ him And how durst he undertake so base a thing as to betray his Friend Yet what made him fight me for the Ring and the Gold What Title had he to either of ' em 'T is a strange Mystery profound and dark And I am lost in 't He must know my False Ariadne if he did really betray me to this place that 's certain Ariadne did I call her A very Improper Name it is methinks for her For she has led me into a Labyrinth I see all Ariadnes are not of the same humour Her Name sake bravely led her Lover forth spite of a Cruel Father Ventur'd all and lost her self at last for a false Man When I Disarm'd and naked of deceit have got into the Labyrinth and met the Monster So much for Honesty So much for Truth But O! How much for rash Credulity Had I been practic'd in the World 's great Arts Treason Rebellion and Hypocrisy cou'd I have nos'd my Prince and to his Teeth have told him that his Power was but painted cou'd I have sworn a Maid into belief of any feigned Love and when I had enjoy'd have thrown the Rifl'd Broad Blown Flow'r behind me cou'd I in my Dear Friends Bosom lying pierce it to reach his Heart and after all cheat Heaven with pretended Piety serve God with lift up Eyes and dismal tone but Heart of Marble sinking down to Hell then I had been a Glorious Devil Then my Prince might ha' been pitty'd the lost Maid have Fruitless Tears with my Friends unrevenged Bloud They 'd only suffer'd O! No I mistake They had been Blessed perhaps and with their Sighs have blasted all my hopes of future Bliss and blown me down to Hell for Heaven sees and is not to be mock'd He fetch'd another deep Sigh at the end of this long Sermon and threw himself on his Bed Within a little after the Fellow came to him to know what Service he had to command him He rose and dispatch'd him away to his three Gaming Friends and being then somewhat tir'd with Grief and not having yet slept well in his new Lodging he fel into a slumber for two or three hours About which time the Messenger return'd with his three Friends He was almost out o' Countenance when he saw 'em and hardly knew how to receive ' em At last said Will Why how now Polydor What brought thee hither E'en my own Folly replyed Polydor you will not pitty me when you hear it However I must discourse it to you that you may give me your Advice you must know then I 'am Marry'd Marry'd cry'd all three in a strange Surprize Ay Marry'd continu'd Polydor and to one of the most Beautiful Creatures breathing One whom I wou'd not leave for the Empire of the World were she but really what she seem'd You appear Amaz'd at what I say pursu'd he but sit ye down and I will relate you the whole Adventure 'T is pure Knight Errantry that you must take notice of before hand Then he began and told 'em every Circumstance till the very Minute that they came to him They heard it with a great deal of Patience and Wonder but with no little trouble for their Friends sake I 'm sorry said Will you are fallen into the hands of Sir Tenacious Heedy I have heard he 's a meer Jew to any Man that ows him Money No Pox on 't cry'd Harry Nothing troubles me but that he is Marry'd And what 's worse added Tom that he shou'd throw himself away without ever so much as asking the advice of any of his Friends You see Friend said Harry what comes of Weddings Pox take me if I can pitty you for the heart of me Why were there not Wives enow in the Town of other Mens but you must needs get one of your own And added Will to believe a little Rascally Lad in a matter of such moment A likely piece of business indeed cry'd Harry that a Lady of twelve hundred a Year and some thousands in Money and Jewels shou'd dispose of her self on such a Person as thine There had been some reason had some probability that I might have had such Fortune I might justly expect it Yes from such a Lady as Sycorax in the Tempest with a Dowry of Enchanted Lands cry'd Tom which you may take Possession of when you can discern ' em No Faith continu'd he to give the Devil his due Polydor has the advantage of us all that way Ay reply'd Harry and to give the Devil his due he 's the silly'st Devil that ever I heard of Come You are Merry Gentlemen at my Cost interrupted Polydor but this is nothing to my Liberty this is no Advice tho 't is what I did really expect from you Advice cry'd Harry why prithee send for thy Wife Ariadne with her Clue if thou know'st whither I believe she 's gone to my Sycorax for their Lands lie very near together No no interrupted Tom I rather imag n Bacchus has taken her up too into Heaven he 's an old Dog at Ariadne's You shall see he 'l fetch Sir Francis's Sister and all shortly Enough enough of this cry'd Will very soberly Let 's think what 's to be done Why I 'l tell you my opinion
besides a considerable bank of Money He was very good humour'd and very handsom much like his Sister and very little Taller four years older than she being just turn'd of twenty one However were he twenty Brothers and twenty times more like her than he was she was mighty glad of his Absence for they immediately drest themselves and the Cloaths sate very well on 'em being all three much of the same height and proportion Now said Miranda Cousin Marry assoon as you will I would advise you not to part with the Breecheâ— for I vow to you they become you extreamly well Pardon me Miranda said our t'other Amazon if I take not your advice for I should perfectly hate my Husband if I perceiv'd he would suffer me to impose on him But come Child continued she let 's see if the Coast be Clear and whip out the back way saying so down the Back-stairs they went into the Garden which Door they presently unlock'd Ariadne constantly keeping a Key of it about her afterwards they rambl'd as far as Fleet-street and the crowd going in and coming out at Richard's Coffee-house stopt 'em which made Ariadne curious to know the humours of such a Place with much ado then they thrust in boldly and sate 'em down says one who sate at the Table where they were In my opinion the Character of a Popish Successor c. is as Rational a Discourse as has been writ of late nor can I think that Mr. L' Strange has any way answer'd his least Objections to the D's Succession O cry'd Ariadne a delicate peice 't is no doubt And if he had but apply'd himself never so little to the Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen immediately upon the Death of Mr. Jordan in reward he had certainly obtain'd the Honour of being Poet to the Honourable City of London before any the most presumptuous Competitor in Town 'T was a strange oversight in him reply'd Miraâ—da but I understand now he sets up for somthing more Advantageous I mean to be Cheif-Firework Maker to the forementioned Honourable City upon their usual Solemnities on the 5th and 18th of November and it is said he designs to Burn his own Pope Joan next Year Why Sir said another that sate by do you imagin it deserves so ill a fate And that Mr. S. Writes so mean a Stile that it may only become a Pageant No pardon me Sir reply'd Ariadne taking up the Cudgels for her friend we here no ill opinion of your Author for certainly I like his Scenes of Love and Gallantry very well but my friend Elkanah had been more highly to be commended had he left off before he came to Pope Joan and the Character c. I suppose said another neat spruce Spark in a Band you are a Tory. A Tory Sir cry'd Ariadne what 's that That is a Tantivy-man a Dukes-man or a Papist in Masquerade On my word said Miranda 't is of a large signification But I can assure you Sir we are none of all these Perhaps continu'd she we wish the D. all the Right imaginable so do I too repli'd our Spark with the Band but then I fear it will go very hard with him Pray Sir continued he very pertly don 't you think the late Parliament dissolv'd at Oxford were all wise and honest well meaning Gentlemen How Sir cry'd Ariadne very briskly All wâ—â—… and honest that can't be for 〈◊〉 must be some Fools and some Knaves or else they are not the true Representatives of the People At this some laugh'd and some look'd Unpleasantly On my word young Gentlemen said Sir Formal with his Band 't is well our President is not here for he wou'd have had about with you before now About with us reply'd Ariadne what before all this Reverend Company No no let him take about with his Boys for we are not for his Management However continu'd she 't is time for us to be gone for fear he shou'd ha' seen us at Paris or Validolid or somewhere abroad where neither of us have been these forty Years With these words they mov'd their Hats as they had seen others do and left the Company to censure 'em they tript on to the Dukes-Play-house where that day was plaid the Orphan or the Vnhappy-Marriage By the way said Ariadne I am sure none of those Fellows we left are for my turn They got into the Pit before they were aware and Ariadne had forgotten the Name of the Play Prithee Jack says she to Miranda what 's play'd to day The something or the Vnhappy-Marriage answer'd she How said t'other in a surprise pray Heaven it prove not Ominous Which is enough to convince any charitable Man that she vvas a good Christian for I dare assure him her Prayers were heard Well But As she vvas thus piously reflecting a Gentleman vvho sate near 'em and vvhom she had not as yet observ'd over heard her Deprecations and taking notice of the Zeal vvith vvhich she utter'd ' em Sir said he you mistake possibly this is not St. Pauls Covent-Garden nor St. Dunstan's Church and indeed I beleive it is not so proper a place to Pray in Hovv said she smartly I 'm sure I have heard many a good Sermon here and I knovv no reason but that I may add a Prayer to 'em if I please for assure your self I have found it very vvholsome so to do Nay and more than that I have on the contrary humm'd a Minuet to my self vvhen I have seen many a Reverend Spark in a Cassook hold forth stoutly and have nevertheless found no hurt by it at all I am sorry Sir said he you have perverted both the Places Perverted cry'd Ariadne looking earnestly on him I think I made the propâ—â—st use of them according to the times and Circumstances for there I have heard such Hum drum Discourse that I must of necessity have fallen asleep had I not sung in my own defence Now here I have often taken notice of some Scenes that have so patly fitted the Circumstances which I was then under that I could not forbear saying Amen to them Said Polydor for so the Gentleman was call'd I see Sir you value your self much on your Contempt of the Clergy and things Sacred but I can assure you no man in his right Senses will esteem you e're the more for it And pray Sir give me leave to ask you how long t is since you read Mr. Hobbs's Leviathâ—â— for I suppose you are mighty conversant with his Notions Hum said she scornfully you will pardon me Sir if I do not well know whether you mean a Book or a Monster by the Name The last undoubtedly cry'd Miranda You are very positive Sir said Polydor and have soon determined on my thoughts But by good fortune you are in the right for if things that have no resemblance to the other part of the whole Creation may justly be call'd Monstrous this is so Ha! said Ariadne whispering Miranda This is
you uneasy However I would have you part with us resolved if possible to see this Lady that so Adores you at the time appointed I will endeavour Reply'd he to perswade my self which is as much as you can desire So immediately they call'd a Reckoning which Ariadne would needs discharge And then parted at the Door Polydor walking towards Westminster and Ariadne took Coach with Miranda for her Brothers House into which they got the back way as they came Where we may leave 'em to shift themselves for I hold it not convenient to peep into Ladies Privacies In the mean time my Friend Polydor was making Reflections on what had pass'd sometimes he was for going to meet 'em then presently Cursing himself for being such a Fool as to give ear to so improbable a Story as he then thought it Staggering all the way home both in Mind and Body At last he reach'd his Apartment to speak Gentilely And I think without saying his Prayers he went to Bed where he fell fast asleep till next Morning about 5 or 6. When Waking he began afresh to recal the last Nights Adventure and the Proposition Ariadne made to him Ha! said he to himself 'T is very odd Yet there is something in it looks very Reaâ— The two Sparks very Rich and Gay especially my particular Friend whose Pockets were doubly lin d That Watch that Gâ—â—â— and those Rings I took notice of on his â—â—â—gers were marks of no ordinary Qualiâ—â— His Meen was a la mode Easy and Sweet His Conversation Free and Generous Sure he can have no Ends in this How Fool Replyd he to himself is it not very possible he has been and may be is her Gallant who now is sated and would willingly turn her on my hands with thâ— advantage of a Great Belly Yet as â—â—â—rid why might not another Man any Rascal might have serv'd his ends What shall I do I am already fallen a Stern very finely and unless I meet with a good Pilot I shall run a' ground to rights This Lady then must be my Pilot I was mor'd before but now I only hold at one Anchor and that too drags too fast Well! I will ' een throw at all Saying so he was just going to leap out o' Bed when a second and contrary Thought surpris'd him and threw him again on his Pillow What art a' going to do Fool cry'd he to himself See all thy old Acquaintance some of 'em Witty Satyrical Rogues others Daâ—n'd Dull Dogs all of them Barking at thee aloud Is this the Spark we have so long mistaken for a Man of Sense Is this he who was wont to help us Laugh at all those Sots that durst hazard their Carkasses with one Woman for better for worse And is this Jolly Debauche at last overtaken Nay more Jilted by a Lewd Woman pretended Heiress Very fine i' faith No no I 'le ha' none on 't I shall hardly give 'em the Opportunity to ease their Spleens at my cost Yet continu'd he turning on t' other side My little new Acquaintance did urge what he said so vehemently and with so much concern that I must believe him Well Hang 't The Die is thrown and it is Decreed At these Words out he jump'd as resolutely as Caesar into the Rubicon Makes himself as fine as the best of three good Suits could make him Puts all the Guineys he cou'd then come at in his Pockets which I think were just three Then down he drops on his Knees lifting up his Hands and Eyes but where his Heart was at that time I will not pretend to determin Well! At length up he gets and out o' doors he marches very courageously to Sir Francis's where he met just coming out one of his Acquaintance who was very intimate with our young Knight O Jack said he assoon as he saw him you are the only Man I cou'd wish to have encountr'd And if you are not busy we must drink one Bottle this Morning I am no Morning drinker said his Friend However to wait on you I don't much care if I take one Glass provided the Wine be good Where will you go The blue Posts in the Hay market I think is the nearest place where we may venture our Carkasses answered Polydor. Now I really believe he was in the right on 't For he had an excellent Palate for French Wines I dare assure you And I wou'd assoon take his Judgment of 'em as any Man's I know To the blue Posts then they went Where after they had each of 'em drank their two Glasses a piece Polydor began to inform himself of Ariadnes Fortune and Humour which he found answerable to the Character she had given him of her self the Night past in every particular The Gentleman who gave him this account did so enlarge on her Beauty and Gayety of Humour that Polydor began to be Jealous he lov'd her himself Which made 'em part the sooner by a Bottle or two Polydor now long'd for Eleven a' Clock being perfectly resolv'd for once to make a blind Bargain with Fortune and wholly Committed himself to her Guidance I think 't was between Nine and Ten when he shook off his Friend so he went directly to the Park where he expected Ariadne as eagerly as if he had Lov'd her for seven years together and that the first time she had ever made him an Assignation I can but think what Reflections he made on his Friends Relation of Ariadne's Person Beautiful said he to a Miracle and of an Humour as extravagantly Pleasant Is she so Sir said Polydor to himself as he walk'd so much the more happy is your Friend and Polydor like to be Little dost thou think Dear Heart continu'd he that I am going to be Marry'd with her this very Morning And ' gad 't is her own fault too If she will throw away her self and her Estate on an Honest Fellow of a younger Brother who can help it The Devil take them that wou'd hinder her for me I speak nothing but Reason I am sure I think it is fit she shou'd have her Humour Shee 's like to pay for 't I believe He told me too she Sung finely That 's another excellence I mightily well approve of We may make shift to Sing two parts I fancy Let me see what new Song have I to Surprize her with Charmante Douce c. Dam these French Songs No I 'le Entertain her with plain down right English As thus said he humming it softly to himself Tho' your Pride be great as your Beauty And my Vows you hear with scorn Yet Alas 't is but my Duty Silently to Love and Mourn In hopeless Anguish I 'd chuse to Languish Rather than wish to break the Chain 'T is more Glory Thus to Adore yâ—â— Than 'ore all your Sex to Reign Pox on 't said he I made these Words my self to a French Air I don't know whether shee 'l like 'em or no. But shee must
take 'em for better or worse as I take her By this time he found himself at the farther end of the Wall I mean that end toward the Mulberry Garden that was There I say he found himself for he was absolutely lost before in the Contemplation of his Mistresses Perfections Onward he goes to Rosamond's Pond where he no sooner Arriv'd but he was Surpriz'd at the sight of two Ladies in their Dress Masqu'd One of which who by the Richness of her Cloaths seem'd to be of the better Quality of the two presented him a most Beautiful Soft White Hand without saying one Word to him He took it and seeting one Knee to the Ground kiss'd it most religiously I believe you may see the print of his Lips there yet if she has not us'd some art to get it out Well he look'd on it and kiss'd it and kiss'd it and look'd on it again Then gaz'd on her two Delicate Charming Black Eyes through the peep holes of her Mask And fancy'd to himself a Face if not so Beautiful altogether as Ariadnes indeed was yet such as the most excellent Painter cou'd not have flatter'd if he shou'd endeavour it The other Lady was somewhat the Kinder of the two for seeing him stare thus Silently and Curiously she pull'd of her Mask and ask'd him if he had never a Tongue to praise what he beheld No Madam said he not you your self neither so much as it deserves though you come so near the excellencies of an Angel For to give her her due she was as Beautiful as any of the Sex except Ariadne for I must maintain the Character of my Heroin for a Reason that I know But still I say give the Devil his due Well She was very handsom and there 's an end on 't Nay Polydor said Ariadne keeping her Mask on we know you are a Courtier But 't is a little odd methinks that you shou'd so highly commend what you have not as yet seen How do you know now continued she but this Mask covers the most ugly Face you ever saw O 't is impossible Madam said Polydor in a Rapture 't is impossible I swear with those eyes But how can you tell said Ariadne interrupting him but the Skin on 't may be as black as the Velvet of my Mask I believe it is as soft said he very Amorously feeling on the Mask But Pardon me Madam your Eyelids have confirm'd the contrary I have seen Madam continu'd he enough to compleat your Victory Dispose Madam pursu'd he all over in a transport of Love Dispose how you please of your Slave I was an Infidel last Night 't is true but now I will believe nay I do believe you are the greatest Blessing Heav'n cou'd bestow on me in this World Hey day What a hopeful and suddain change is here cry'd Ariadne sure this is not the same Polydor my Cousin saw last Night No no Madam said he not a Word of that over Cautious Scrupulous and Ill natur'd Fellow I have not one doubt about me You appear to me all Glorious and Good But we trifle Madam Let us walk to the other end of the Park and take Coach for Mary Bone Hold Sir said she there 's a Coach waits us at this Gate which I presume is as convenient O most advantageous said Polydor leading her towards the Gate where they quickly Arriv'd and got into the Coach which made all the reasonable hast to the Bowling Green that cou'd be expected Cry your Mercy I mean to the Church But I had been oftner at the first which made it come sooner into my Thoughts Besides I had forgot Polydor had any Business at the last mention'd place whatever he has had at the Green By the way said Ariadne to him have you bethought your self of a Ring A Ring Child said he no faith But by good Fortune here is one on my Finger which a French Mistress of mine gave me at Paris and we may make shift for once with it Nay nay said she shift now and shift always But come it must and shall do But hark you continu'd she don 't you fancy we go as merrily to Execution as any two Condemn'd People ever did You may call it what you will said he but methinks 't was a little improperly spoken Was it ever said a Man was Condemn'd to be happy For such I apprehend my Circumstance at the present I don't know what you judge of your own O said she doubt not I have as good an Opinion of you as you can have of me for the Heart of you I see then interrupted Miranda you are both in a fair way to be perfectly happy You know I must make her speak something and not let her sit like a Mute all the while much contrary to the humour of her Sex Well But now or about this time they got within sight of the Steeple Look there Polydor said Ariadne what do you think of turning back Why said he I think of it as of the only thing I must deny you at the present No no continu'd he I am resolv'd to enter the Enchanted Castle with thee and try the force of it's Charms Ten to one interrupted Ariadne you may find 'em too strong for you at a long Run But for my part she pursu'd I am as Resolute as my Friend John Florio And so said she Coach-Man open the Door They all three immediately lighted and went directly toward the Church just before they came to the Porch a little dapper old Fellow comes to 'em and asks 'em if they had any business with him this Morning Why faith Friend said Polydor if you can mumble over the Matrimony or so We have How interrupted Ariadne mumble it over No don 't you mistake I mean to have it as Audibly Distinctly Laudably and Plainly read as ever I have heard part spoken on the Stage But you are in the right on 't Polydor continu'd she for this Right Reverend looks as if he cou'd only mumble it Well Madam said the little Old Gentleman I can make a shift to say Amen plain enough I warrant you But Mr. the Minister is within And I believe at leisure by this time to do you that Office which he has dont this Morning to four Couple more But believe me Gentlefolks you are the finest we have seen today O! We thank you Sir said Polydor But pray how long do you Ply here a Days Ply here Sir said he we expect Company here generally from Six till Twelve But see Sir continu'd he the last Couple are just coming out I have a little business with 'em e'r they go If you please to walk up to the Altar I 'l wait on you before you have done your Complements to the Minister O! your Servant good Sir we don't doubt it said Polydor leading Ariadne to the Fatal place There Polydor immediately opens their Case discovers their Grievances and asks a Remedy Promising him to reward him like a
your best way let me tell you repli'd Ariadne for fear I should be revenged on you and let Marwood know how passionately you love him You won't be so inhuman I hope interrupted Miranda do you think I shall ever be able to see any of our acquaintance again if you do Never disturb your self said Ariadne I only shew you how easily and bravely I could be Revenged on you if you begin first By this time they found themselves at the Ladys House they went to Visit they presently alighted and went in where they were received with all imaginable Kindness and Respect and the more because their Coming was unexpected and the obligation pleasantly surprising Here I must take my leave of them and look a little back for my friend Polydor who that Night came off a Winner by threescore Guinneys pretty well laden with Wine too which made him sleep that Nâ—ght the more soundly perhaps without ever so much as dreaming on his Bride for Wine let me tell you is a Soveraign Remedy against Love especially if the infection be but newly received Besides he was a Man of a strong Resolution and could swagger it out most Modishly yet when he gave his mind to it could Love like a Sparrow and as Constantly as any Turtle In the Morning he waked between 7 and 8 for you must know it was past One ere he got into Bed and he usually slept six hours upon a Tack and that cheâ—fly when he had been Drinking over Night The first thing he did was to examine his Pockets which he found pretty weighty on one side and on the other all his old Gold intire in the Purse His hands indeed were dirty and he had all the other signs of a Bacchanalian but an empty Pocket He was generally very pleasant and witty after a Debauch for he was always sure to drink the best Wines Well! He lay till Eight reflecting on his Good and Evil Fortune at length after he had stretched and wished for his Ariadne false or true she would then have serv'd turn After that I say he turns out and dresses When he had done that and his Devotions he sat him down and writ as follows To Ariadne Madam I Had the good Fortune yesterday to be in a place where I presume you dropt a Purse of Gold and a Diamond-Ring which I am come to restore and only beg you wou'd permit me the honour of kissing your hand I fear I am utterly a stranger to you yet I beseech you Madam Refuse not this Obligation to Your Ladyships most Obedient Humble Servant Beaufort When he had Written it he knew not where to direct its And was in a Thousand Perplexities about it but in the end he took heart of Grace and resolv'd on a Visit to Sir Francis Heartwell with whom 't was ten to one but he found Marwoud He took Coach then immediately and came soon enough to his Brother in Law 's House to take him at home and to his greater satifaction there was Marwoud too Tho he did not in the least contribute to his Information of the place of Ariadne's Retreat as it happen'd For after the first Complements were over Sir Francis sate him down to make an end of a Letter which he was then dispatching to his Sister to enquire of his Cousin's Health or if there were any need of his Presence Assoon as he had finish'd it he desir'd Marwoud to fold it up Seal it and Write the Superscription For said he I have not seen Polydor so long that I am unwilling to lose one Minute of his Conversation You must direct it continu'd he To my Sister at my Lady Courtin's two Miles wide of St. Alban ' s. Polydor overjoy d at such a Blessed Opportunity of seeing the true Ariadne with a Letter from her Brother Immediately offer'd his Service to present it to her Adding It cou'd be no trouble to him because he had oblig'd himself to be at St. Albans by two a' Clock at farthest Sir Francis told him by no means he wou'd be guilty of such a Rudeness and that he had already commanded one of his Servants to deliver it and to bring him an account of his Cousin's Health the next day assoon as possible Polydor urg'd on the other side that he must of necessity return himself too the next day before Dinner to meet Company at Banisters However Sir said the over Courteous Knight I can by no means permit it Polydor was then just going to tell him that he had business with her and discover the Ring and the Gold to them and how he came by 'em but that he consider'd if they shou'd not prove Sir Francis's Sisters they wou'd but Laugh at him for his Credulity or if they were really hers she on the other side might be displeased at the discovery But after all he determin'd with himself to set out with the Knight's Servant and to his greater Comfort he understood the Footman was not to begin his Journey till after Dinner For he was to carry some things with him from the Change which cou'd not be ready till about one Polydor therefore had time enough to provide him of a good Horse which he did assoon as he parted from Sir Francis and Marwoud After he was fix'd with every thing for his Journey he betook him to a little Alehouse almost over against the Knights House whence assoon as he saw the Footman come he mounted and follow'd him at a convenient distance 'T is true he let him ride a good way before him till they got clear off the Stones but about a Mile out o' Town he overtook him O Friend said Polydor well overtaken Your Servant said the Footman I 'm very glad that I shall have the honour to wait on you most part of your Journey I thank thee reply'd Polydor. But What! continu'd he Is it your young Lady Madam A Ariadne that is sick No Sir answered the Servant 'T is a Cousin of hers Nay said Polydor I only ask'd that Question because Mr. Marwoud gave me this Letter just as I left your Master and him and I think he talk'd of somthing there was of advice in it Saying so he gave him his own Letter to Ariadne Is this for my Lady Sir said the Footman Yes answer'd Polydor for your Masters Sister I 'le take care to deliver it Sir said the Footman Prithe do reply'd Polydor There is an answer required and pray let me have it for I have engag'd my self to bring him whatever she is pleas'd to send him I Prophecy said the Servant What her answer will be For I am sure this is a Love-Letter Nay may be so cry'd Polydor. However continu'd the Footman I 'le deliver it very faithfully to her for I have a great respect for my honest Master Marwoud I 'me sure added he I have had many a Half-Crown of him nay many a Crown I may say since I have known him O cry'd Polydor if thou had'st
not spoke on 't I fear my Memory is so Treacherous I shou'd ha' done thee wrong Here continu'd he pulling Money out of his Pocket Here 's a Guinny for thee which he sent thee I thank you Sir said the Footman receiving it But he is always too bountiful I wou'd ha' serv'd him ten times more without a quarter of this No doubt of that said Polydor But prithee continu'd he what answer dost thou think shee 'l send him Alas Sir replyed the Footman a very cold or scornful one I fear Then she does not Love him said Polydor O no Sir I believe said the Footman she wou'd not endure to see him were it not in Complaisance to Sir Francis How so cry'd Polydor he is a handsom Man Ah Sir answer'd the Footman As long as she does not think him so what advantage is his handsomness to him in that case Th' art in the right said Polydor But How long has he lov'd her Above these 2 Years reply'd the Servant They had a great deal more discourse concerning Ariadne's Scorn and Marwoud's Love which Entertain'd 'em till they came within two Miles of the House where the Footman was to go Now Friend said Polydor since as thou sai'st we are so near the Lady's house shew we some little blind Ale-house or hedge Tavern as nigh it as may be That I may expect an answer of Marwoud 's Letter by thee assoon as possible I will Sir said the Footman So they Rode on a Mile farther and the Footman Lodg'd him at a little thatched House where they sold good Nappy Ale There Polydor treated himself and his Horse which drank Ale as freely as his Rider did Clarret Polydor was Cursing Marwoud heartily though as yet he was not certain whether it was his Ariadne or no. In the mean time the Footman came to his Post and delivered his Letters Ariadne not knowing Polydor's hand and being very curious to see what was in his Letter opened it first and looking then on the Name she was much more surprised by reading it she began to guess who ' t was What manner of Gentleman said she to the Footman was he who gave you this A very fine handsome Gentleman Madam reply'd the Footman something with the tallest delicately shaped yet very strongly set of a dark brown Complexion and hazle Eyes with a few marks of the small Pox in his Face By this Description she knew it must be Polydor. Well said she smiling which she could not forbear don 't set up your Horse yet you must go fetch the Gentleman hither With that she goes immediately to the young Lady her Cousin to whom she had already related her adventure with Polydor and desires her Assistance in tormenting him a little Said she I must get you to Personate me Here is the Letter he sent me But you must tell him you know nothing of a Ring or of Gold these and a few more Instructions made the young Lady Dorothea for so she was call'd very perfect in her part Miranda and Ariadne were to keep out of sight When they had agreed upon all circumstances to deceive him Ariadne sent the Footman to tell Polydor that his Lady Ariadne desired to see him and charged him not to describe her Person to him but to bring him directly to Dorothea The honest Fellow obliged her very exactly and brought Polydor to Dorothea who by this time really thought her self to be Ariadne Polydor at the sight of her was so confounded and grieved to find it was not his Ariadne that he was ready to sink down Dorothea seeing him in that ruful Posture began first Sir said she I suppose this is your Letter to me It is Madam reply'd Polydor fetching a deep sigh but I find my Errour you are not the Lady Madam Indeed I am not Sir answered Dorothea No! Madam Interrupted Polydor with a pittious Groan To my Eternal shame Sorrow and Confusion you are not my Ariadne Pardon me I beseech you Madam and to shew you that this is not meerly a Pretence see here the Ring and the Purse of Gold which I wrote of to your Ladyship I once more beg you would forgive this Rudeness and forget Beaufort I am your most Obedient Servant Madam Continued he bowing and went out The Compassionate pretty Lady was so concerned for him that she was once or twice going to call him back to discover the fallacy to Him But knowing Ariadnes humour she durst not for fear of disobliging her However she went to her with resolution to chide her severely for so ill treating so handsome a Gentleman as she call'd him and one who She durst engage loved her most passionately So much the better said Ariadne I am glad to hear it But ere it be too late continued she I must dispatch this Fellow that came with him to observe where he takes up his Quarters for you have not performed half your part with him yet O Heavens cry'd Dorothea almost ready to weep I am resolved I 'le not torture the poor wretch any more Let Miranda do 't an She will So I promise you She should reply'd Ariadne if it were convenient but She knows her too well And in short continued she you are the fittest Person alive My Dear pursu'd she sweetning the tone of her Voice and kissing her Cheek you must oblige me Nay said Dorothea since my Ariadne says there is a Necessity for it I shall obey Well said Ariadne I thank thee my Dear I 'le instruct thee presently assoon as I have sent this Footman after him VVhich she did immediately and returned to her fair Scholar and her Dear Miranda Now said she to the first You must know I will write a most passionate Love-Letter to him as if I had fall'n in Love with him at first sight and invite him hither where you are to second what I shall write and pretend you are deeply in Love with him O fy interrupted Dorothea I profess you impose a very difficult task on me and to say truth I am the rather more avers to this lest in pretending it I should really Love him O! No reply'd Ariadne think on me and you are secure enough Yet I vow to you interrupted Miranda 't is very hard to Counterfeit love to a Man of his Address and Person Very fine cry'd Ariadne I see I have two dangerous Rivals of you Yet this must be done Be satisfied said Dorothea It shall It shall Thus as they had been discoursing and plotting against poor wretched Polydor for about an hours space The Footman returned and gave them an Accountorious as my betaken himself to the littâ—utâ—es of the House where he left him at Ay pursu'd how long he would continue there he could not positively say Ariadne upon this wrote a Letter immediately as she had before designed and obliged the Compassionate Dorothea to Act out her part while Poloydor lay Raving on a Flock-Bâ—d in the little Ale-House not at all regarding
or fearing the Vermin that might assault him Now if I had been he I would rather have sat down and drank with my Horse than have ventured my Boots in so suspicious a Place For all my delight is in clean Linnen as the VVench said when she washed her dish-Clout But he not at all Curious Sollicitous Anxious or uneasy for his Apartment began a large and bitter Satyr against VVomen and concluded with no great Encomium of his own Discretion Ah said he was ever man so Credulous so easily deluded by a little Lewd â—ilting Scrumpet O Beast and which is worst O Cuckold continued he scratching 〈…〉 â—re it did not itch Now had 〈…〉 â—enchify'd and had it been 〈…〉 â—e or Fall of the Leaf it were not Ridiculous to suppose he might have Entertained his fingers ends with a budding Maid or two But I dare assure you he was as sound as a Roach and besides it was Summer Yet tho he was thus tender of his Honour he could not but admire and commend to himself his Ariadnes Beauty and Humour O! cry'd he aloud were not this Creature false for did you mark that 's generally the first word your Jealous or forsaken Lovers call one another had she not been false repeated he she were worth a Thousand such Ariadnes as I saw last yet I must own by the little notice I took of her she was extreamly Beautiful too But continued he all in a rage my Devil is so Charming that if she were already really a Devil as in time no doubt She may she would invite a Saint to her Embraces Well! I am a Cuckold and I le go herd in the City my Horns will not be perceived there at least they may not be so notorious as my Elder Brothers the Deputies of the Ward where I fix Ay Ay pursu'd he and I 'le throw off my Sword and turn as great a Cheat as any Tradesman of them all As great a Rebel and as great an Hypocrite as any Puritan Villain among them nay more added he fiercely I couâ—d almost find in my heart to write-Pamphlets against the D. and call the Kings late most Gracious Deâ—laration a Libel But hold said he coming a little to himself It must not go there No let her be damn'd by her self I will not perswade my self to these Impâ—â—ties lest I keep her Company Ah Polydor continued he what will thy Mother thy Brother thy Sisters and all thy Relations say to this will they not scorn thee will they not point at thee and shun thee For there is nothing in the World so contemptible to each other as Relations when any one of them Miscarries Nay and it carries with it some shew of Reason 'T is a disgrace to the whole Family What says one Marry a VVhore A Jilt O Devil Why I shall become a Town-talk Be sung about the Streets in a Ballad to the tune of Fortune my Foe Married says another with a Plague what need he have Married He always seemed averse to it But I beg your pardon Sir pursu'd he If this Woman had been really what she pretended I would not have been unmarried for an Empire But shee s False and I am Lost Ruin'd and Eternally miserable If all this shou'd be true now that he says there is no body but would pitty him But Well! He said no more for the present only he hurried up and down about the Room most Violently as I have seen a Mouse looking for a hole to escape at In this motion Ariadnes Messenger found him and delivered his Lady's Letter to him which held these words SIR Though you mistook when you thought you had found a Ring and Gold that belonged to me yet I am not mistaken in accusing you as the Man that has stoll'n my Heart and Rob'd me of my Quiet which unless you immediately restore with your Presence I am resolved to haunt you as long as I am Ariadne Hey day cry'd Polydor with a scornful Smile What 's here more sport for Fortune Her Ladyship methinks is merrily disposed at presenâ— Pray honest Friend and fellow Travellor said he to the Footman what does your Lady mean by this Alas Sir reply'd the Footman I thought that Paper had fully discover'd her Intentions to you I am only to entreat you would please to let me wait on you to her Immediately Humh Immediately cry'd Polydor to himself Her Ladyship 's mighty warm on the suddain But I' gad shee 's mistaken her Man as it happens The curse on 't is nothing will go down with me now but that same other false Ariadne How ever I shall oblige her so far for her Brothers sake for Civility's sake and for our Families sake who never refus'd a Visit to a pretty Lady There may perhaps too be more Gold or more Rings coming but I fear I shan't deserve ' em Poor Lady I 'm sorry for her I am an Elder Brother in my humour and cannot drudge for a Livelyhood Well! Come Friend continued he turning to the Footman I 'le go with you so on they walk'd to the Lady where I 'le leave 'em a while His Guide soon Conducted him to the Couterfeit Ariadne who expected him in her Closet assoon as she saw him she was in such disorder and her thoughts were so confus'd that she cou'd not say one word to him She blush'd and cast down her Eyes as if she had really been Guilty of loving him Polydor took notice of it And began shewing her the Billet she sent him If this Paper Madam has discover'd more than you will own be pleased to condemn it to the Flames and Sacrifice it to your Indignation I must confess continu'd he 't is that has occasion'd you the trouble of a second Visit By this time she had pretty well recover'd her self and answer'd him 'T is true Sir that Paper has caus'd the Confusion which perhaps you might observe I was in at the sight of you But if it had not done me the good Office of discovering my dearest thoughts to you believe me I shou'd have had no little difficulty to perswade my self to it And continu'd she I must needs Justify what you have read there But I must Chide you pursu'd she with an obliging Smile I must Chide you Beaufort for calling that a Trouble which is the greatest Obligation you could have done me at present Pray sit said she taking him by the hand they both sat down Polydor fixing his Eyes on hers as if he seem'd to ask them what she would be at You expect perhaps said Dorothea that I should make an Apology for my Modesty which probably you may think I have violated in treating thus familiarly with a Stranger But I shall only say you are very unkind if you do since you were the cause of it your self And give me leave to add 't was Love 't was Almighty Love that forc'd me to this Extravagance Besides pursu'd she I did not know how soon you would
of Piety or some such Book or for ought I know it might as well be torn out of the Famous History of Valentine and Orson which indeed is the most likely of the two For as I understand it was a Quarter of a sheet of Paper on which he wrote a piece of his Mind to the Counterfeit Ariadne giving her notice where she might direct her Commands to him at any time which he dispatch'd to her by a Messenger he found there who undertook to deliver it that Night for a Tester So immediately he mounted and came for London where he Arriv'd about eleven at Night He set up his Beast very carefully and stay'd till he had seen his Bed made and till he had eaten a hearty Supper of Corn. Then God-a-mercy Horse said Polydor and left him to provide for his own self which he did taking Coach and driving directly to his Lodgings where he vow'd Pray'd a little and Sigh'd more so put out his Candle and went to Bed What with Travelling and Vexation he was so tir'd that he slept very soundly till seven the next Morning without the help of Wine When he ' rose he found himself much better for having drank so little the Day past But still he found his Troubles return into his Thoughts as fresh as ever He knew not what in the World to do to ease himself At last he bethought himself of his Friend Marwoud To whom he resolved to discourse his Misfortunes at large and ask his Advice what to do in his miserable Condition For he had fully determined in his Thoughts to drink no more so largely and frequently as he had done hitherto To his mistaken Friend then he go's finds him hardly awake in Bed What! Not awake yet said Polydor drawing open the Curtains Who 's that cry'd Marwoud rubbing his Eyes O Polydor What Return'd already Will you believe your Eyes or no reply'd Polydor you see I am Hardly answer'd Marwoud for faith thou hast made such hast 't is almost incredible to me Since I presume you stay'd some time with your Friends you went to see And for my part I declare to you I don't love to ride so hard But did you not travel some part of the last Night continu'd he I did reply'd Polydor I shou'd not-like that without Company said Marwoud 't is dangerous there are Highway-Men abroad every Night on that Road Besides if it were never so clear of them I shou'd nevertheless be Assaulted by all the Melancholy Thoughts my Soul cou'd muster Ay! interrupted Polydor Those were my Entertainment all the way I never was so melancholy in all my Life added he nor ever had reason to be so How Prithee why said Marwoud sit on the Bed and let me hear the reason You shall said Polydor sitting down I am Marry'd my dear Friend continu'd he embracing Marwoud sighing and almost weeping at every word At last he summon'd all his Resolution and made shift to discourse all his Adventures with Ariadne to him which he did in such pitteous Accents and with such mournful Gestures that Marwoud often sigh'd in Consort with him But perhaps it was more because he understood that Polydor had rob'd him of his Mistress tho he did not know it himself But as if it had been to make him more enraged Polydor shews him the Ring and Gold Ariadne left with him Marwoud soon knew the Purse and the Ring Which made him say coldly On my Word I shou'd think by this she were a Person of Quality but her leaving you so strangely confirms me in a contrary Opinion Polydor then proceeded to tell him how passionately in Love the true Ariadne was with him all along mistaking Dorothea for her But said he tenderly embracing Marwoud again I will have nothing to say to her because I know your Heart is engag'd there How came you to hear that said Marwoud The Foot-man that I overtook on the Road discover'd it to me by a trick I put upon him Well then cry'd Marwoud how do you like the true Ariadne What manner of Woman is she for perhaps continu'd he you may be still deceiv'd That 's impossible replyed Polydor and to convince you that I am not I will describe her to you Her Hair is of a pale brown her Eyes are Gray full and Languishing She Lisps a little and she has a Mole on her left Cheek which become her extreamly Nay nay I 'm sure 't is she Well I am satisfy'd said Marwoud who knew well enough 't was Dorothea â—y the Description He presently imagin'd 't was one of Ariadnes Caprices that set Dorothea to personate her He began to be very uneasy and impatient of Polydor's Stay When Polydor asked him Am not I the most wretched Creature breathing Dost thou not pitty me heartily What shall I do â—rithee assist me And a thousand other things that a man in his Condition might propose He reply'd I believe 't is Nine a Clock I must rise to take Sir Francis ere he go out What shall I drink a Bottle with you at Night I will not fail to meet you at Eight at Lockets or where you will I 'le see you therâ— if you please reply'd Polydor buâ— I can't Drink You dull Dog said Marwood to his Valet de Chambre arâ— these Clothes for this Weather Whaâ— occasion have I to Sweat this Weather more than I must of Necessity Doâ— your Rogueship think I 'm Pox'd yoâ— are but an ill Physitian to prescriâ—â— me a Sweat amid'st all this Heat 〈◊〉 I were The poor Devil answer'd nereâ— word but with all submission imagâ—nable brought him another Suit that look'd a little Cooler He put it on and dressed till he had occasion for his Perruke by ill Luck that which he designed to wear that day was not Comb'd out Defend us How many Dammees How many Oaths How many Insipi'd Rascally Negligent Beasts were there utter'd Polydor observing him out of Humour did not know what certainly to attribute it to but thought it very â—onvenient to leave him Marwood said he good Morrow To Night at Eight at Lockets remember your Servant answered he in the same Tone he had spoken to his Valet de Chambre Down Stairs went Polydor and not long after Marwood took a Chair and went to Sir Francis where he appear'd very much discompos'd all along insomuch thaâ— Sir Francis took partâ—cular Notice of him Marwood said he What the Devil ails thee Thy looks are enough to give the most Costive Body a stool What 's the matter Come impart impart 'T is not wholsome for your knowledge of all Mens reply'd Marwood 't will blister your Ears if I relate it You seem to imply said the Knight that it Concerns me And your words have rais'd my Curiosity to that height that you must explain 'em or I cannot esteem you my Friend My silence answer'd Marwood is now the greatest Argument of my Friendship to you that I can make you I beg you would not
Prithee do not beg interrupted Sir Francis thou hast stirr'd all that was Woman in me and now I must know thy very Endeavours to conceal it makes me impatient of this tormenting Silence There 's Mischief in it let me know it Mischief I think there is cry'd Marwood all in a Rage Mischief Base Treacherous Mischeif Why then art thou so long ere thou let'st me know it said Ariadnes dear Brothe r Too soon said Marwood shaking his spiteful head and shrugging up his Shoulders you will know too soon the Lady your Sister Ariadne is Married Married said Sir Francis keeping his Temper and his face Why then God give her Joy Can you then so Tamely hear such ill News cry'd Marwood that your Sister is Marri'd basely below her self to a Man of no Fortunes or at least of very small Fortunes and those too decaying And without your Knowledge With all my heart let her Marry without my Knowledge reply'd Sir Francis But what base Man is he she has made her Husband Pray what is his name Do I know him yes I think you have seen him answered Marwood and in my Company Pox o' my Loggerhead that ever I brought him near you Prithee interrupted the good humour'd Gentleman who is he without any more Harrangues let me know his Name if he has one I beseech you 'T is Polydor that Treacherous Beggerly Villain cry'd Marwood his Face all over glowing with Rage and Envy Polydor said Sir Francis have a care Marwood what you say He is a worthy Gentleman and of a good Family besides he was your Friend I am heartily glad 't is so well with her after all the fears you put me in for her So well cry'd Marwoud 'T is true she might have Married a Hangman a Cobler or a Porter for all you I see But I don't apprehend how otherwise she could have done worse The Extravagant Prodigal knows how to spend her Fortunes and his own too were they both doubled Is this all the care you take of your Sister How now Marwoud said Sir Francis putting on a serious Look what do you mean by this Discourse Pray keep your Reprimands till they may be more seasonable will you instruct my Care and Love to my Sister If I have offended Sir answered Marwoud 't is through the excess of my Friendship and Zeal to serve you I could not think such a Lost Fellow as Polydor a fit Match for the incomparable Ariadne It seems reply'd her Brother Ariade thinks so And once more I give you Caution that you treat him at your discourse of him as he is a Gentleman If not for his own and his Families sake yet at least as he is my Sisters Husband and my Brother But how came this Wedding about Marwoud told him every Circumstance as Polydor had related to him but added he I fear he has disguised the Truth and that he surprised her and forc'd her consent to Marry him If so replyd Sir Francis I shall take an Honourable Revenge on him Wee 'l go down to Morrow and learn the Truth But I fear Marwoud you love her your self I have long suspected it and 't is Jealous hate that makes you judge so ill of your happy Rival I hope reply'd Marwoud ready to burst with Anger which he durst not vent there I had not been altogether so Contemptible and disproportionate a Match had I been so happy as Polydor. I grant your Estate is proportionable reply'd Sir Francis but how unequal your Humours may be I know not And perhaps added he sharply she is as Happy as she has disposed of her self as if she had proceeded according to your deliberate Instructions 'T is very possible reply'd Marwoud The next Morning they came to Dorotheas where I fancy they were expected because they were so Civilly entertain'd Assoon as Sir Francis found his Sister in private which you may be confident was before Marwoud had the opportunity of conversing alone with her He told her all that Marwoud had related to him all which she own'd who certainly gave her the greatest animosity imaginable against a Gentleman of his Principles and Circumstances 'T is true she was Reveng'd and that by good Fortune for perhaps Marwoud durst have fought any man on equal terms of Honour or Advantage He was a Spark that could Love as heartily for interest as any man Breathing He had a strange Command over himself in Conversation And would seldom speak Truth for that is the rudest thing imaginable especially if a man always does so You are to know then that assoon as her Brother had made this Discourse to her Ariadne singled out Marwoud and led him into the Garden Is it possible said she that a Gentleman and your friend should impudently and falsely report to you that I was Married to him and is it not as strange that you should give Credit to him on so slight Circumstances as the sight of my Ring and Purse Look here continued she shewing him the Letter Polydor had written to her under the borrowed Name of Beaufort See now are you not finely abused But I perceive very faint appearances will prevail on you to believe the worst things imaginable of me Ha! interrupted Marwoud in a pleasing surprise Are you not then Married to him Why can't you yet give Credit to me said Ariadne Why then cry'd Marwoud do you suffer him to wear those things which are much more precious in their having been worn by you than an hundred times their Value could make them â—ou see answered she he entreates here â—hat he might kiss my hand which by no means I would permit but prevailed with Dorothea to personate me when upon the first sight of her he cry'd she was not that Ariadne he looked for and left her without returning any of ' em By Heaven but he shall return 'em Madam cry'd Marwood in a fierce tone and that ere to Morrow this time I would not said Ariadne Encourage you in any ill design of Revenge upon my Account but truly I must say he deserves to be punished for his Indiscretion What a Devil did this Woman mean now some will say to set this Fellow to Murther her Husband Let them know she was resolved to try his Courage as well as his other Virtues for undoubtedly she was the most humorous Creature Breathing And I dare say she wish'd from her very Soul that Polydor might come off Victorious and Chastize Marwoud for his Tatling They said not much more on that Matter because they saw Sir Francis leading Dorothea and Miranda to them 〈◊〉 they joyned Discourse presently oâ— News and things indifferent which lasted about an Hour when they were told that Dinner waited them on the Table they all went in and those could fed heartily Marwoud's Stomack was full already with his Resolution of fighting Polydor and I think he Eate but little but drank the more And assoon as Dinner was over he took the opportunity to leave
could not reach his Heart I am heartily glad it did not reply'd the Knight for I should certainly have lost a dear Sister had it been so that either of you had fallen O no! interrupted Marwoud had the wretched Marwoud falln as low as Hell what had that concern'd the Adorable Ariadne I must confess added he with a scornful Smile if the most Accomplish'd and thrice happy Polydor had Died 't were enough to have broken any Ladys heart 'T were enough indeed answered Ariadnes Brother to have broken my Sisters heart had you Kill'd her Husband on her Account How interrupted Marwoud in a great Consternation is she then really Married to him after all this after the Letter she shew'd me to perswade me of the Contrary 'T is e'en so after all reply'd Sir Francis And you ought not to be be troubled if I desire you to receive him always as your friend I may be Civil to him answered Marwoud but I fear I shall never really love him In short added he I shall hardly ever endure to see him again Come Come said Sir Francis this is not like a Man of Honour I must and will have you perfectly Reconcil'd That 's as time shall try reply'd Marwoud but at present it appears to me as impossible as it is to recall Yesterday O! cry'd Sir Francis This is only the Effect of your late Animosity But pursu'd he pray make hast and recover that you may restore my Friend again to my Arms. You may come to my House Conveniently enough in a Chair but I would not have you be too hasty to leave your Chamber I 'le send Ariadne to Visit you in the Afternoon In the mean time take care of your self Saying so he left him without expecting his Answer and went home Marwoud did not at all like the Complement his Friend made him of bringing his Sister to Visit him But he considerd he shou'd at sometime or other be forc'd to see her unless he cou'd altogether resolve to forbear Conversing with her Brother which made him put himself into the best Posture he cou'd to receive her that Afternoon Mean while Polydor far'd a great deal better for he cou'd make shift to walk with the help of a Cane and the Wound in his left Arm was scarce of any pain to him Yet he thought it not altogether necessary to leave his Chamber for a day or two which oblig'd him to send for his three old Companions whom he used so constantly to meet at Lockets or one Gaming-house or other They came according to Summons and expressed some little kind of trouble for that unhappy Accident which he told 'em was a fall from his Horse To play they went as briskly as at the Groom-Porters And Polydor's Hand held in most luckily There was indeed some reason it should for he Treated 'em very largely and generously with Wine and cold Meats While they were thus throwing away their Money and Time Ariadne accompanied only with Miranda came to see her Maim'd Souldier Marwood Which I believe was no little satisfaction to her finding him no worse For she concluded her Polydor's Case was not so dangerous having heard as much from her Brother at Dinner Madam said Marwoud to her you do me too much Honour and your self too great a trouble in this Visit but perhaps 't is a pleasure to you to see me thus vanquish'd by the Man you had made your Husband notwithstanding the endeavours you used to disguise it to me You mistake Sir reply'd Ariadne if it be any pleasure to me to see you in this Condition 't is because I hope it is much worse with Polydor for I have already had time enough to repent my hasty Marriage with a Man of his mean Fortunes and hateful Humours And I come now to give you the opportunity of revenging yourself and me too But first pray give me a particular Relation of your Duel He did so with much uneasiness â—nd when he came to that part of the â—tory How said Ariadne Had you the ill fortune to be twice disarmed by him Yes Madam reply'd he vehemently I had that damn'd confounded ill fortune for I am certain it was not through my want of Resolution that it succeeded so well with him I dont suspect it was answer'd she But I come now to pour Balsom into your Wounds I mean those of your mind promise me but secrecy and truth 'T is neither Treason nor Murther I dare assure you Let me know it I beseech you said he greedily I will attempt it notwithstanding I have been unfortunate on your behalf in this last Enterprise Alas said Ariadne 't is the easiest thing imaginable there 's not the least shadow of danger in it But you promise Fidelity and Secrecy so much as to my Brother For Heavens sake do not doubt me Madam said he I will not continu'd Ariadne your Province then is to lay an Action oâ— Ten Thousand Pounds on Polydor in any bodies name under pretence thaâ— the Debt was Contracted before Marry'd him manage this as cunningly as Revenge can instruct you and I doubt not but to be rid of an Husband for some time if not for ever For he not being us'd to a Prison may the sooner take the infection of it and die I have been told that there is no Prison about Town but has a peculiar Distemper belonging to it Ha! cry'd Marwou'd This is pretty well design'd Let me alone Madam to Execute it I 'le about it the first thing I do assoon as I can go abroad and I am persuaded it will not a little Contribute to the Cure of the wound he was pleased to bestow on me Ariadne thanked him for the readiness with which he embrac'd her Propositions and after a little other discourse of things not altogether material to their Circumstances she took Miranda with her and left him to reflect on this Blessed Opportunity she had given him of being in some measure revenged on a Man whom now he mortally hated With great impatience he lingred out a Week And when he ventur d out o' Doors the first thing he did before he had returned any of those Visits Sir Francis was pleased to make to him in his Chamber was to enter an Action of Ten Thousand Pounds against Polydor in Wood-street Compter at the Suit of Sir Tenacious Heedy The next was to learn when he went into the City which he heard would be within two days He made a Visit to him on the very day he was going and offered him his Company into the City which was very kindly embraced by Polydor. Heavens How Sollicitous and industrious is malice to compass its devilish ends And how easily is an honest man deceived The unwilling Polydor takes Coach immediately with his treacherous friend for the Sun-Tavern behind the Exchange where he had engaged to meet some Friends but they were no sooner gotten within Ludgate e're the Coach was stopped by half a dozen Officers
belonging to that Blessed place I told you on before who presently seiz'd on both their Swords and wou'd have hall'd Polydor out had he not calmly ask'd 'em what they meant and promised to make no resistance if they cou'd shew any Authority for what they did One of 'em told him he had an Action against him and wou'd shew him the Warrant assoon as they came to any Tavern that he shou'd name and withal like the rest of the wheedling treacherous Fraternity promis'd him all the Civility imaginable provided he wou'd obey the Kings Law Well said he let the Coach-man drive to Fowlers at the Half-Moon The Rascals lik'd that well enough and very obediently trudg'd along by the Coach sides till they came to the place aforesaid Marwoud all along seem'd Amaz'd at this Accident and appear'd as the most Concern'd man of the two Now said Polydor to one of the Officers at whose Suit am I a Prisoner At the Suit of one Sir Tenacious Heedy reply'd the Rascal here 's the Warrant Sir you may read it if you please Certainly friend said Polydor you are mistaken though I confess I find my name here but may there not be more of my name than my self think you for upon my Reputation I never so much as heard of Sir Tenacious Devils name till this time Pray what is he A rich Merchant answered one of the Furies and belongs to the East-India Company Then be satisfied said Polydor I never had Trading with any of the Profession in my Life No Sir that may be return'd one of the Goblins for I suppose it is a Debt contracted by your Lady O damn'd Impostor cry'd Marwoud on a suddain who had instructed this Rogue before It must be so I am confident if the Officers have not mistaken you for another 'T is impossible we should Sir said one of ' em This Adversary was with us when he took Coach at to ther end of the Town and told us this Gentleman was the Debter Dear Harpies said Polydor Smiling How could you forbear your Prey so long O Sir reply'd one you were out of our Territories till you came within Temple Bar where yet we did not think our selves secure enough of you because of the Templars and some desperate Blades that we might have met with in Fleet-street You have reason Sir said Polydor smiling I think here within your Dominions 't is a matter of Imprisonment at least for a Gentleman to draw his Sword in his own defence It scares your whining Zealots out of the little Sense they had Besides they are always apprehensive of their own Guilt and fear the Punishment they might reasonably expect from the Sword for their Rebellious Seditious and mutinous Endeavours against the Royal Prerogative I 'le tell you continued he all in a flame not so much for his own Circumstances as with Zeal for his Prince I will not be Prisoner within these wicked Walls within this City in whose Great Streets and highest Places the best of Kings O hellish Riddle That Glorious Martyr for the Liberty of his People was proclaim'd a Traitor I say I will not be confin'd to herd one Week to amend with 'em lest I get the Infection at least if a Hundred pounds will remove me to the Kings-Bench I will not Why the Devil could not my Kt. Merchant Adversary have taken me at our end of the Town Was there a Necessity that I must be brought hither to this Stage where the factious Schismaticks are playing the old Gaim again with some of the same Cards only the Knaves are all Chang'd where little Machiaville is playing his Pranks A worthy Puss indeed But there are Dogs that may Worry him at last While he rav'd thus and Marwoud walk'd frowning about the Room The Officers you may be confident were not Idle they had top'd off a matter of Seven or Eight Bottles of Canary and devour'd the best part of two Neats-Tongues At last one of them beg'd leave of his Gut to speak to Polydor. Well Sir said he What do you propose will you send for Bail Send for a Whore Sir I 'le go to Prison cry'd Polydor O fy said Marwoud do not think on 't If I thought my Bail would be taken I would offer you my Service O by no means dear Friend replyed Polydor Embracing the Snake I am resolved to stand it out my self Then Interrupted one of the Troublesome Attendants Since your Worship will go to Prison yet however you shall not go into the Compter but if you please you may Lie at a Prison House over against it till you have Composed this Business No Sir I 'le go to the Compter upon my word reply'd Polydor. Indeed you shall not nor must not said Marwoud who wished nothing more in the World than that he might Roâ— there What Exquisite Mischeif may be done with the face of Friendship I am sorry answered the true and faithful Polydor I must be obstinate but I have some Reasons for it Now the Duce take me If I know what Reason he cou'd have for it Unless it were to avoid the Extortions of a Sponging House which nevertheless had he been in the Compter so often as I he wou'd have endur'd rather than have seen the inside on 't Indeed Sir I wou'd not advise you to go into the Compter you will find it very disagreeable to your humour The Prisoners there will be all ready to tear you in pieces for Guarnish said one of the Officers I shall prevent 'em Sir for I 'le pay it said Polydor. Nay if you please to like it Sir Reply'd one of 'em whose Brother in Law kept a Sponging House you may go into the Prison But there 's the Turnkeys Fee and seven shillings a Week for a dirty dark hole with Cobwebs about your Bed instead of Curtains When if you wou'd be persuaded Sir you may lie in as good a Bed as my Lord Mayor and have what Meat and Drink you please and Dress'd how you please besides the Liberty of walking down into the Dining Room But I must pay for it Sir Interrupted Polydor I shall have there my Landlord who perhaps Drinks like a Dane Cringes like a French man Grins like my Lady's Monkey when he sees Money coming but if that be not ready he looks as surly as a Butchers Dog or as the Butcher himself who is the rudest Beast of the two His Company I shall never fail of then one or two of your Worships will come to Visit me three or four times a day and make me as uneasy as this Sir Booby that Arrests me will be when he hears I 'm gone over to the Kings-Bench No Sir I am bound for the Compter there I 'le treat my fellow Prisoners that want a Bottle of Wine and a lusty Joint of Meat 'T will be well bestow'd How long is it since you have had so good knowledge of these Houses you have describ'd said Marwoud I hope you never
were confin'd till now I never was indeed replyed Polydor. But I have visited some of my acquaintance in such like places several times Well Sir since you are so obstinate and will not be prevail'd on for your own good said one of the Serjeants you shall e'en have your humour but I fear you 'l repent it I shall not however acquaint you with my Penitence if I do answer'd Polydor So let 's know what 's to pay that I may be gone to my Palace Dear Friend continued he speaking to Marwoud oblige me so far as to enquire into this business for me and see what must be done in 't and give your self a little farther trouble to send Harry Will or Tom any one of 'em or all of 'em together to me by to Morrow Noon I will not fail replyed Marwoud Can I do you any better Service I am sorry at the Heart that I must leave you Yet if my Company may add any thing to your satisfaction command my stay with you as long as you please and where you will I 'le put off all business so I may any way contribute to the easing of your Misfortunes O by no means answer'd Polydor again Embracing his Evil Angel I cannot suffer it I know you will be at no great ease in such a place which will but encrease my trouble As they had ended this Discourse the Drawer brought up a Bill of about eight and twenty Shillings which these Vermin had devour'd in less than three hours time and yet the Dogs were so greedy that they were craving still they were for Money for waiting with so many Plagues to them as they drank Glasses of Wine Money for waiting cry d Polydor yes let them pay you that set you awork They look'd a little sower but said no more because they saw their Pay-Master in the Room who wou'd needs pay the Reckoning out of the extraordinary satisfaction he receiv'd in Polydor's Affliction But Marwoud pretended it was for fear Polydor shou'd have occasion for Money in his ill Circumstances Polydor took leave of him to go to his Enchanted Castle with a Resolution worthy an Hero who makes such desperate Adventures He was attended only by four of the Giants Warders The other two stayd with Marwoud till they had squeezed three Guinneys out of him He charged them when he was going to look strictly to their Prisoner and not to allow him any liberty that they might lawfully deny him They promised to be very observant of his Commands and left him to go homewards without his Companion for my part I wish Polydor had gone homeward without him and had left him to keep his Bed warm in the Compter But hang 't 'T is ridiculous to wish Impossibilities Well! Let the Treacherous Marwou'd e'en trudge on Wee 'l return to my good friend Polydor who by this time had enter'd the Fort and pay'd all Dutys belonging to it All the rest of the poor Enchanted Souls look'd upon him as the wretched Ghosts in Hell did on Hercules and Theseus whom they were in hopes came to deliver 'em and truly if Polydor did not altogether enlarge their Bodies yet he did much encrease their Commons during his stay there Insomuch that they all esteem'd him their Deliverer from a lingring sort of Famin For he dayly gave Alms to the meanest You may see Providence in this now For had he not been sent thither many a poor Soul might have Perish'd of Hunger and Thirst His Charity to all and his kind easy Conversation with the most â—nferiour and Miserable Creature there was so signal that the Keepers took particular notice of it and told him after he had been there two Days and some Hours by way of Complement as I suppose they intended it that They shou'd be mighty sorry to lose his Company at least they added the Prisoners would have no small cause to Lament his Departure tho they ought to wish it for his sake He Smil'd and told 'em ' He thought he was oblig'd to it as he was a Man if not as a Christian and a Fellow Sufferer They had more discourse as they walk'd at the end of which a Jolly Honest Soul and so you wou'd judge by the Ruddy Complexion of his Face one who had no small Authority there Invited him into the Lodge telling him and that truly that it was the sweeter place of the two He Embrac'd his kind proffer and to shew he was not ungrateful for favours sent for half a dozen Bottles of good Clarret from Matt. Fowlers and bespoke two good substantial Dishes of Meat for his Friend his self and the Prisoners As they were drinking a Glass or two before Dinner in came those two Officers that stay'd behind with Marwoud who had heard of his Generosity to those in the House and of his Civility to every Body and who perceiv'd he had Money enough O cry'd Polydor looking on his Friend in Authority These are some of the Gentlemen that brought me hither to be acquainted with you Sirs Pray walk in and drink with us continu'd he to the Officers They were easily prevail'd on and sate 'em down After a Glass or two had gone about said the Serjeant I wonder Sir No body has been with you yet Ay said Polydor 't is something strange But I doubt not my Friend whom you saw with me t'other day is busie in getting my Liberty and means I suppose to surprize me with it yet I admire he has not sent some other Friends to me whom I expected to see here the next day after my Confinement You have been very patient Sir said the Officer I don't hear that you have sent to any Friend yet No no I need not trouble my self I 'm sure reply'd Polydor my Friend is labouring for my ease You mean Squire Marwoud answer'd the Serjeant I do so said Polydor. I can then assure you continu'd the Officers that he is indeavouring labouring all the ways imaginable to keep you in a Prison all the days of your Life How Sir Interrupted Polydor strangly Surpris'd what do you know what you say Ay ay Sir said the other Serjeant and I l swear it Sir and two Witnesses are enough to cast a Suit at Common Law That may be Sir answer'd Polydor but a thousand Witnesses will hardly make me suspect my Friend But pray what ground have you for what you say Why Sir replyed one of 'em since we have found you here among us a Civil Obliging and Charitable Person I 'l tell you the whole truth which I will Swear to and so will my Friend there Be assur'd then that it was he who set you for three days together till the very day he secur'd you in the Coach where we took you I dare swear it before any Magistrate in England Interrupted t'other Serjeant â—t may be so Sir replyed Polydor. Besides pursu'd the Serjeant I 'm sure we had three Guinneys of him If this be true cry'd
And he was Plagu'd and he was shot in vain When Lo Th' Almighty from Above With Eyes with Pitty flowing and with Love Beheld the Afflicted Man as weak he lay Buryed in Ashes on the Ground Vouch'dsafe to Parley with this thing of Clay Taught him to know himself and made him sound And for the Miseries which he had shar'd Gave him a Seven-fold Reward Teach me then Heaven to withstand The heaviest stroke of Sorrows hand That to my self brought home I may The Obedience which I owe thee ever pay He had scarce made an end before an under-Officer of the House came to tell him there was a Gentleman and a Lady below that would speak with him He was not a little Surprized at it not imagining what Lady should come to give him a Visit in such a place unless it were his own Sister However he bid the Fellow lead them up He did so And Polydor then was much more amazed than before when he saw his own false Ariadne as he thought her led in by Marwoud the Treacherous They stood staring on one another a pretty while e'r either of 'em could speak But Polydor was in a strange Perplexity You would have thought he had been in a Feaver by his Face he would fain have been angry and have rail'd at her but when he beheld her Beauty he was no more able to do 't than I am to fight a Whale in the water And that is not very probable for I can Swim no more than a Mill-stone Heavens cry'd Polydor pulling his Hat over his Eyes and walking from her in a great deal of hast Art thou come now thy self to torment me Barbarous Woman Go Take that Treacherous Man into thy deceitful Bosom make as much of him as your false Heart will give you leave And thou Marwou'd Faithless Man Embrace Embrace the Syren Go together And betray one another into a groundless and vain Opinion of each others mutual Affection Shameless Man continued he looking fiercely on Marwoud what unheard of Impudence has brought thee into my sight after thou hast thus betrayed me But what ill things dare not he do that durst betray his Friend Why this is very strange Interrupted Marwoud what do you mean Polydor I mean to Cudgel thee replyed Polydor all in a Rage for thou art not worthy of my Sword O! fy interrupted Ariadne Is it thus you Treat your Friends Peace Syren Hypocrite Fair Devil Peace cryed Polydor Thy Breath and Looks are Infectious Good Heaven said Ariadne weeping How have I deserved this Ah Crocodile cryed Polydor with an angry Smile I confess thou hast not deserved that I should speak to thee But admire now the sweetness of my Temper That I can vouchsafe to tell thee I am angry with thee And that I have much reason to hate thee O! Would I could On what Errant has Hell sent thee to me now Or rather what greater Affliction is Heaven yet pleased to try me with Come I 'le be tame And gently will confess thy Power to thee Wert thou but half so Virtuous as Fair and I a thousand times more Rich and Happy than now I am miserable I 'd kneel to get one Smile of thee But thou art Hold interrupted Ariadne And hear my Business first e're you proceed to Judgment of me I come to offer you all that I have and were it Twenty Thousand times more I would lay it all at your Feet I have brought this Gentleman my Friend who it seems has been long your Friend however you are willing to mistake him now him I have engag'd to Compound the Debt with Sir Tenacious and if he will not accept of our Propositions he has procur'd another Gentleman his Friend to Bail you with him She tells you truth Polydor said Marwoud tho your Passion blinds and will not let you see our kind Intentions to serve you And is it really true cry'd Polydor ' Most certain replyed Ariadne Then Dam yee Dam yee both cryed Polydor furiously What! Purchase my Liberty with the Prostitution of your Body I tell yee tho you both consulted to get me into this place yet I 'l make a shift to get out on 't without your Aid Advice or Money And for thy part Marwoud continued he expect I will thank thee most justly for thy Industry in delivering me into the hands of these People who yet have used me more civilly than thou desired'st I should have been He then told him what he had heard from the Officers while the other laboured with all the Cunning he had to perswade him that he was abused by them in that Discourse But all to no purpose Nay said Polydor 't is in vain to hope I should believe thee true to me now when thy very acquaintance with this Woman Lowdly Proclaims thy Guilt While they were arguing thus very hotly Ariadne took up the Verses and slipt 'em into her Pocket At last they grew lowd and then Polydor taking Ariadne by the hand led her civilly out of the Room but Marwoud he almost threw down Stairs and immediately shut the Door to him Ariadne beg'd of him with all the earnestness that might be to open the Door to her urging that she had something to discover to him that concerned the whole Quiet of his Life but all in vain He bid her be gone and come no more near him She still prest to come in and I believe would have made up all Differences had she prevail'd for she was really very sensible that she had been to blame in treating him thus so long But being still denyed entrance she went away with a Resolution to play him yet one other Trick e're she undeceived him Marwoud was much out of humour and in a great heat with Polydor for folling him so basely before his Mistress but he considered there was no Sword to be drawn there and besides his happy Rival was then Naked whiâ—h stop'd the effects of his Indignation for a time Yet he could not forbear threatning him with Revenge and that in the hearing of Ariadne Who told him he need study no greater Revenge than what he had already or at least than what he was like to have by her means This pretty well appeased the affronted Squire and he waited on her home without so much as ever threatning Polydor again Polydor was a little disturbed at this unseasonable Visit because perhaps since the Fit had just seiz'd him he designed to have gone on Rhiming which their unexpected and unwished for Company prevented Being therefore somewhat discomposed he went to his Friend in the Lodge and desired to drink a Glass of Wine with him which was presently permitted him and they Dined together very plentifully and chearfully About 5. a Clock as he was Drinking a Grace Cup he was told that there was a Lady in a Coach at the Gate who asked for him and the officious Messenger had hardly said the word e're he saw Dorothea come in whom
Francis Heartwel's Sister and the Real Ariadne So many Circumstances there were to confirm him in that Opinion there was the Livery and the Coach which was near enough to be known to him for Sir Francis's and what was greater than all that He was certain that one of 'em was really Footman to the Knight These and such like Thoughts kept him in his Chamber for about half an Hour When taking up his Gloves to walk down to give his Fellow-Sufferers a Visit he saw the Paper Dorothea had left there 'T was Superscribed to Polydor the Credulous By way of Imitation of his Blessings of Adversity THE Fool and Easy soon are lost In Snares which careful Men avoid Or which their Arts have soon destroy'd Too subtile to be made the Coz'ners Boast Tho Love or Money be the Bait Their Heart excludes the guilded gay deceit No room is for the Shadow found But safe in their own Policies they rest They in a Prosp'rous World or Adverse Fate are Blest When the kind Soul do's strait admit Each fawing Parasite Takes him into his Bosom from the ground Nay suffers him to play his part Even in the inmost of his Heart And in the highest Throne Triumphing lets him sit A Faith like wax to every one he lends Which a soft Word soon melts or a Smile bends Takes the Impression of a Judas-Kiss As deep as the kind stamp of Faithfulness I think there was a Mock to every Stanza but on my Word I have forgotten ' em Polydor was amaz'd at the Reading 'em nor could he imagin how â—hey came there 'T was a Womans Hand he concluded but 't was a Hand â—oo he had never been acquainted with â—he had traced him in his serious stuff so exactly that he could not but Laugh heartily at it He put them up very carefully and went on with his Charitable Design of Visiting some poor Gentlemen in the House that had wanted him for some hours he was very pleasant with them till Bed time When he went to sleep till about Six the next Morning I don't hear that he complained much of his misfortune that Night In the Morning about Eleven a Clock came Harry and Tom to see him And brought him news that on the Morrow in the Afternoon his Habeas Corpus would be ready and he might hope to see St. George's Church before Night He was well enough pleased with their diligence in his business but he wanted his third Friend Will. O cry'd Harry hee 'l be here time enough to rob us of the best part of our Dinner We have bespoke three Dishes at Fowlers against two a Clock and the Wine I suppose will be here within a quarter of an hour He had scarce spoken e'r it was brought They got once more the freedom of the Lodge for their Imprisoned Friend where they Dined assoon as Will came which was precisely at two as near as I can remember They were mighty pleasant all the time and so we will leave 'em to hear what was done all this while at Sir Francis's There had been it seems a strange Catastrophe for Dorothea and Miranda had now at last prevail'd on Ariadne to leave off Tormenting her Polydor and rest satisfyed with his good qualities after so many cruel Experiments she had made on him What most invited her to be at last Civill to him was the declaration of his Love for her which he made to Dorothea supposing she might not have quite lost her Virtue Well! said Ariadne I consent to undeceive my Enchanted Squire on Condition you 'l suffer me to discover your Inclinations your's Miranda first to my Brother and yours Dorothea to Marwoud Think not pursued she not permitting them to reply that I ask this of ye as a favour too no I have already resolv'd on it and as Good Fortune will have it see here they both come Come Brother continued she pray sit and Oblige Mr. Marwoud to sit with us We must Consult here is much business to be done and that very suddainly Nay if I can serve you Madam replyed Marwoud you need but instruct me and conclude affirmatively of my absolute Obedience You promise largely and nobly replyed Ariadne but I fear you will repent of your Obligation Tho in my Opinion you have rather cause to be satisfyed with it And not to hold you any longer in suspence know 't was with my consent and the best of my Affections and Endeavours that I Marry'd Polydor and you have only been my Instrument in trying his humour which otherwise I could not have been so well acquainted with Now therefore continued she the Request or Command which you please to call it that I have to you is to lay aside all Animosities to him and Pretensions to his Wife Not that I mean to rob you of one Mistress and leave you absolutely destitute of an Object of Love no I shall rather make you too ample satisfaction for so inconsiderable a loss when I dare promise you and offer you now the Heart of my Dear Dorothea I expect no denyal after the promise you have given me 't is partly an acknowledgment you ought to make me for the opportunities I have shewn you of gratifying your Revenge on your Friend and my Husband In short I design you shall be happy with her the same day that I am so with Polydor. Madam said Marwoud since you do really Love Polydor and that there is now no longer any hope for me from your Circumstances I can't propose greater felicity to my self than Dorothea's Love if I cou'd be assured on 't I will engage for it answered Ariadne Pray make your Addresses They then fell into Cabals Ariadne discoursing her Brother and Miranda There she did Miranda the violence to discover the Passion she so long had entertain'd for Sir Francis who was most pleasantly surprised with the Relation and blam'd his Sister that she had not revealed it before that he might ha' Marry'd assoon as she Something she said to excuse it but that is not very Material here Marwoud was very well pleased with the Person and Humour of his new Mistress but still he had a Reluctance or uneasiness in his thoughts for the loss of Ariadne's Fortunes Dorothea was very well contented with his Humour Person and Fortunes for to say truth she had lov'd him long and could have accepted him with half his Estate Ariadne having brought things to so good a Period at home propos'd the day following to undeceive the poor desponding Polydor. In order to which Sir Francis and Miranda Marwoâ—d and Dorothea accompany'd her to him Ariadne desir'd to speak with him and one of the Servants went to acquaint him that the Lady was at the Gate that came to visit Him with a Gentlewoman three or four days past Polydor bid the Fellow say he was busy as indeed he was for there were his three Friends who had brought his Habeas Corpus to remove him The Messsenger
return'd for all that and told him thâ—â—â—dy was to Impoâ—â— that to bâ—â—ny'd that she must speak with him Tell her she may said Polydor If she will take the pains to meet me three or four hours hence at the Golden Lyon in Southwark He did so and return'd once more to let Polydor know that Sir Francis Heartwell would see him if he pleased Sir Francis Heartwell cry'd Polydor in a great surprise Thou mistakest sure No Sir reply'd the Servant so he call'd himself I am certain Dâ—â— him let him come in said Harry If he do's affront thee I shall find a time to cut his throat I cannot blame thy zeal for thy friend replyed Polydor tho it be mistaken He is a man of too much honour to offer any Rudeness Saying so he went as far as he might to wait on Sir Francis who was just coming into the House with his Sister Marwoud leading Miranda and Dorothea After having saluted each other Sir Francis desir'd Polydor to leave his friends to entertain one other for a quarter of an hour that he might discourse him a little privately Polydor spoke to 'em of it and went into another Room with the two Gentlemen and the Ladys Sir said the Knight lifting up his Sister's hood which till then cover'd her face Do you not know this Lady Too well Sir Reply'd Polydor you had not found me here Sir otherwise Have you any pretentions to her said Sir Francis Pretentions Sir answer'd Polydor no no and I wou'd she never had had any for me What 's the meaning of this said the Knight To my knowledge she loves you Do you know who she is Yes and what she is too reply'd Polydor she call's her self Ariadne but the pretty Imposture will not pass for such in this Lady's Company At these words he took Dorothea's hand 'T is well continued he they are both come together I hope my Ariadne will not any longer pretend to the blood of the Heartwells before you Sir Your Ariadne said Sir Francis why are you Marry'd to either of 'em Yes yes Sir Francis cry'd he in a great Passion To my eternal shame I am marri'd to this false Beautifull creature yes I am sped with her Well Sir answer'd Ariadnes Brother And Heaven give you joy with my Sister Ah Sir says Polydor Do not triumph in the misfortunes of an unhappy Gentleman I know you do but Impose now for that Lady 's your Sister said he bowing to Dorothea If you please Sir answer'd Marwoud That Lady shall be my Wife before Noon yet as late as ' t is It shall onely trouble me replyed Polidor for the Lady's sake Come come Polydor said his kind bâ—other in Law pen your Eyes view her well Is not your Ariadne more like me than my Cousin Dorothea for so is that Lady call'd who has hitherto only personated my Sister the more to perplex you Ah Polydor cry'd Ariadne I bring thee now thy True and Faithfull Ariadne Let me embrace you together said Sir Francis And now Polydor cryd Marwoud taking him by the hand Let here all Picques and Feuds cease I wish thee and will not envy thee all those joys thou art like to possess in that Lady To whose Embraces and caresses I will at present leave you to withdraw the Action that is against you which I protest I do with much more content than I lay'd it on Ha! cryed Polydor This is too much happiness for me in one day To find my dear Ariadne true to be reconcil'd to my friend whom I thought past it and to be so nearly ally'd to one whom I have always been ambitious of serving Marwoud went out and discharg'd him of the Action and fees of the House while the other two Ladys complemented him and began to confess how they had all contributed to his seeming misfortunes Heaven cry'd Polydor that I should not know that face again and that shape out of Breeches But I am now awake Yet continued he I must beg you would permit me to distrust your kindness to me before my friends in t' other Room Be it as your humour Commands answer'd Ariadne But don't let the counterfit last long Marwou'd now return'd and brought news of Polydors Libertie who strait led 'um to his other Friend After Complements had pass'd he call'd his three Friends aside and told 'um how things had succeeded but withall added that he durst not yet trust their Kindness where fore he intreated they wou'd acâ—ompany him to Sir Francis's where he was going and that he wou'd plant 'em so near that upon the least call they might come to his assistance if occasion were They all promised to hazard their Lives and Fortunes in his Service Polydor then taking some Money out of his Pocket to bestow on the poor wretches that wanted it at the same time pull'd out the mock to his Pindarique and shew'd it to Dorothea asking if she knew the hand She answer'd yes 't was her Consin Ariadnes who smiling confess'd that she had stolen his melancholy stuff with design to abuse it He was not a little pleas'd with this Confession As soon as every one had Distributed their Charities they left the dismal place and Polydor took Coach with Sir Francis Ariadne Miranda Marwou'd and Dorothea But Harry Will and Tom were forc'd to walk into Cheapside where they likewise took a Hackny Coach following Sir Francis's Coach as close as they could They came in time to their Journey 's end Where Polidor dispos'd of his three merry Boys in a very convenient Room leaving 'em Wine enough to supply 'em till he had dispatch'd his affairs in the next Room Where as soon as he came he was amaz'd to see the Tables already spread and all things in as much order as if it had been design'd a week before But this was not all the occasion of his surprize for when his Brother in Law and his dear Ariadne led him into an Inner Room he was there presented with all the Writings of her Estate and a glorious sight of Rich Jewells and of Gold and Silver some in Bags and some loosly scatter'd about the Chest This sight was not altogether ungrateful to Polydor tho he did not absolutely do at on Riches Immediately after the shew was over Sir Francis was for calling for the Person whom he had provided to speak some fatal words as strong as any Witches Charm I 'm sure to him and Marwou'd and the other two Ladys But Polydor beg'd his three Friends might first be admitted to which they agreed and he gave the sign immediately for them to come in Who no sooner heard it but with all the Violence and Resolution imaginable they rush'd in with their Swords drawn Ha! cry'd Polydor whence is this Rudeness what do you mean Gentlemen How now Polydor said Harry Have you forgot we came to your Rescue Rather to Divorce me from the greatest happiness imaginable reply'd he drawing his Sword which Sir Francis and Marwou'd did likewise This is strange said Will. It is indeed answer'd Polydor very strange that a man should betray himself into twelve hundred a year besides thousands in Money and Jewels and throw himself away on so Beautifull a Creature as Ariadne You Harry I confess might have expected it but for such a person as mine Death we are fool'd then cry d Tom well we shall find a time continu'd he offering to go Hold Gentlemen pray be'nt angry said Polydor you must not go yet till you have din'd with us and been Witnesses to a little Business that these two Gentlemen and Ladies have to dispatch Come Put up Put up We are all friends Ay Gentlemen said Sir Francis we must intreat your Company to day Nay added Marwou'd ye must be our Guess Upon this they all put up and were as good as so many Certificates to Miranda and Dorothea that Ceremony ended they eat and drank plentifully had the Fiddles Danc'd and were wondrous Pleasant so wee 'l leave 'em till night when I suppose the three Hero's went to Bed with their Ladys where wee 'l leave 'em to be more Happy than I dare tell you they were FINIS