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A00825 Certain elegies, done by sundrie excellent wits With satyres and epigrames.; Satyres: and satyricall epigrams Fitzgeffrey, Henry.; Beaumont, Francis, 1584-1616.; Drayton, Michael, 1563-1631.; Hookes, Nathaniel, fl. 1618, attributed name. 1618 (1618) STC 10945.3; ESTC S116819 27,046 152

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Nor blush not Tom nor blame not that I seeme Thee the halfe-parent of my Booke to deeme Heer 's nought but Good if nothing they mis-scan Let Critticks Momus All say what they can Th' are Good who doubts it not for ought I know Yet Good I le sweare because Thou saist th' are so Satyricall Epigram's Ad Emptorem Epig 1. THese Epigrams thou see'st whose are they mine No! The Book-binders buy thē they are thine In Thrasonem Epig 2. SInce Thraso met one stoutly in the field He cracks his Spirit knowes not how to yeeld Looks big Sweares stroutes with set-side armes y e streets Yet gently yeelds the wall to all he meets And to his Friend that askes the reason why His Answer 's this my selfe I grace thereby For euery one the common Prouerbe knowes That All-wayes to the Wall the weakest goes Of a Rayling Clyent Epig. 3. I Call'd one Knaue who answered Sir not so The Knaue doth all-way's with the Lawyer goe How could I well but well approue his speech Each Lawyer walkes his Clyent at his breech Of Debt Epig. 4. TO bee Indebted is a shame men say Then 't is Confessing of a shame to Pay In Medicum Epig. 5. WHen Mingo cries How do you sir t is thought He Patients wanteth his practic's nought Wherefore of late now euery one he meeteth With Sir I 'm glad to see you well hee greeteth But who 'l beleeue him now when all can tell The world goes Ill with him when all are Well Against the Accademicks of their abusiue * Ignoramus Epig. 6. THe Law is in our Hands How dare ye then Abusiue bee Cause ye are Law-lésse men Your fault was great but wee neglect the same For ye excuse your Error in the * Name In Cornutum Epig. 7. ONe tolde his wife a Harts-bead he had bought To hang his Hat vpon and home it brought To whome his frugall Wife what needs this care I hope sweete Hart your Head your hat can beare No-lawes Reformation Epig 8. SInce No-law's Father did him Counsaile giue And said hee onely by his Booke must liue Ha's bought the Law and vowes his life to mend And most on 's time will in his Studdy spend And doubtlesse so he meanes for wot ye why Has chang'd his Bed and doth in 's Studdy lye How like ye No-law now Is hee not wise Thus he is certaine by the Law to Rise Of Lucus and his long Haire Epig 9. LVcus long locks down to his shoulders weares And why He dares not cut them for his Eares Francisco's Trauels Epig 10. TEn monthes I take it are not fully gone Since bolde Francisco crost the Seas alone VVho late returned one would thinke it much A compleat Linguist skilfull in the Dutch And more if you knew all for wot yee what In the Low-cuntry's hee the French hath got Of Braggado and his Valour Epig 11. GIue one bad word out comes Braggadoes sword And sweares in rage to sheath it in your guts But draw and stifly stand vnto your word And gently vp againe his blade he puts Craues your acquaintance vowes he loues all such As on their Reputation stand so much But bee he One that can his wroth containe He Scornes to strike him Hee 'l not strike againe When will Braggado then his manhood proue When he● meets one he doth not scorne or Loue. Of Duke and his Imprisonment Epig. 12. DVke lyes for Debt yet nothing owes he 'l sweare Beleeu 't 't is false as sure as hee Lyes there Againe Of Duke and the Debt Epig. 13. DVke's not in debt yee doe him wrong to say it The Debt is God knowes whose His that wil pay it Guido's Bounty Epig. 14. GIft-gobling Guido alwayes as he takes Vnto his Friend this hopefull answere makes I thanke you kindely You haue beene at cost But if I liue you shall not finde it lost Then can I euer hope to liue and finde Close-fisted Guido in the Giuing minde Nor can I thinke guifts lost though Guido dye For who can loose that he doth Giue away Of Lawyers Epig. 15. SOme Lawyers praise some their sect defame The first I cann't the last I will not blame Nor yet esteeme Those lesse Praise-worthy when All loue not Vertue No not most of men VVhome All men Praise I praise him not at all But rather him a Temporizer call When Two contend for what but One must haue Who can doe Right and eithers fauours saue When one mans Losse anothers Game doth make And Loosers must and will haue leaue to speake Then Gentle Lawyers thinke it more then well If the halfe part of men your Praises tell To his Fellow Students Epig. 16. TO Rise by Law a Life wee couet all Why 'T is Death to vs by the Law to Fall Of Him selfe Epig. 17. A Friend of mine and yet no friend to mee Comes oft and craues my Epigram's to see He waighes each word highly doth cōmend 'em And much intreats me to the Presse to send ' em Thus Foole my Labour's I let him pertake That Labour 's mee a Foole imprint to make Of Phantasmo a Mistris Boaster Epig. 18. FYe fie Phantasmo cease to raise Such Trophaeis in thy Mistris Praise Shee 's Faire what then The house most white Seeme Venus Birds most to inuite And Trees that fairest Fruite doe beare VVith Stones assaulted oftnest are Shee 's Pretty● Witty cruell Wit If not Wisdome Ioyn'd with it Shee 's Kinde 'T is true what better knowne VVhat worse when Kinde to more then one Wrong not then my Purest Faire With this meane this skin compare Rather by thy Sonnets seeke To make her Praises Venus like How ere she Propper Faire her Feature Beleeu't shee 's but a Common creature In Sextum Epig. 19. SExtus 6. Pockets weares 2. for his Vses The other 4. to Pocket vp Abuses Epig. 20. KIt I commend thy care of all I know That p●un'dst thy Cushion for a Pipe of To Now thou art like though not to studdy more Yet ten-times Harder then thou didst before Cynna's Theft Epig. 21. STolne Fruite is sweete So cannot Cynna say That Stole a Wench and had her tooke away Of Luce and her 4. Husbands 3. of them thus Named Small Forman Middleton Epig. 22. LVce late is left a Wealthy widdow How can it other bee then so Foure Husbands she hath buryed Yet would not stick againe to wed Which on her Hand she thus doth cast Small Forman Middleton And my Last Counting for euery finger One Which all God wot are dead and gone Then Luce beware a Fift to take Least so a Hand of all you make More-dew's Payment Epig. 23. MOre-dew the Mercer with a kinde salute Would needs intreat my Custome for a Sute He're Sir quoth hee for Sattins Veluets call VVhat ere you please I le take your word for all I thank't Tooke Gaue my word say than Am I at all indebted to this man Clyms Account Epig. 24. CLym calls his Wife and reckoning all
his neighbors Iust Halfe of them are Cuckolds he auer's Nay fie quoth she I would they heard you speake You of your selfe it seemes no Reckoning make Of Sim and his speedy Marriage Epig. 25. SIx months quoth Sim a Sutor and not sped I in a Sennet did both Woe and Bed Who greene Fruit Loues must take long paines to shake Thinc was some Downe-fall I dare vndertake A Manly Woman the best Wife Epig. 26. FAire manly Wise Imagine which of these In Wedlock choise would best my fancy please Of all giue me the Woman halfe a Man So I shall happy haue but halfe a Woman The Womans Answer Epig. 27. IF Halfe a woman best your Humour fit 'T were best to marry an Hermophrodite Tom's good Fortune in being Rob'd Epig. 28. TOm tels hee 's Rob'd and counting all his losses Concludes All 's gone y e world is full of Crosses If all be gone Tom take this comfort then Th' art certaine neuer to haue Crosse agen Of Lawyers and Poets Epig. 29. NO mar'le that Lawyers rich Poets poore liue One giues to take the other takes to Giue In Ignotum Epig. 30. VVHat bred a Scholler borne a Gentleman Of 5. yeares standing an Oxonian Of person Proper of a comely Feature And shall I basely now turne Seruing-Creature ●oole hug thy fortune S'fut't may be thy making A Ladyes proffered Seruice not worth taking Who her serues sure shall be well Borne and more One knowne sufficient for the Turne before The more thy Standing greater Foole thy Grace And thou farre fitter to supply the place For men in seruing Ladyes much may get Then men of Best-parts soonest they 'l admit In Sprusam Epig. 31. WHen men speake Baudy knowest thou what 's the matter Sprusa so often spitteth not to flatter The cause I take 't is this Her teeth doe water Of the Riming Sculler Epig. 32. HOrace the Poet in his Booke reherses That Water-drinkers neuer make good Verses Yet I a Poet know And in his Praise Hee 's one has liu'd by Water all his day's Sues Slip. Epig. 33. SVe swore she Lou'd mee and vow'd faithfully Neuer to match with any but with mee Now she hath chang'd her minde and of All men Will none of mee Hath she not match't mee then Tell her she Trifles Aske but to what end She swore shee Lou'd She meant but as a Friend Aske why Loue tokens she did priuate send Still shee replyes She meant but as a Friend Aske why sh'Inuited mee to walke alone where she her thoughts more fully did make known Binding with Oathes Deliuering Hand on that Sealing with Lippes In Wttnesse I know what Casting her selfe downe by mee● where I could And might haue tooke what Suerty I would Still blamelesse shamelesse Shee will all defend Saying in all Shee meant but as a Friend Then bee Sue such to all her Friends as mee I 'ad rather shee my Friend then Wife shu'd bee Of Win and her Sutors Epig 34. VVIn is much wooed to but not wonne of any The troth on 't is She doth admit too many Tym's Studiosity Epig. 35. MArke ye how studious Tym is turnd of late How he breakes Company to meditate Does hee but thus continue certainly Hee 'l bee at least a Sargeant ere hee dye Hee may doe doubtlesse much yet I can tell Hee 'l not come neere a Sargeant by his will AEnigma A Begger once exceeding poore A penny pray'd mee giue him And deeply vow'd n'ere to aske more And I nere more to giue Him Next day he Begg'd againe I gaue Yet Both of vs onr Oathes did saue Of an Egregious Whoore. Epig. 36. THy Belly is thy God I well may say All thy care is to serue it Night and Day Feare then thy God least whil'st thou worship so He Rise and Hellish torments put the to Of Felo and his Poetry Epig. 37. FElo that lately kist the Gaole hath got A smacke of Poetry yea more then that Hee will maintaine none can bee truely said A Poet that was neere Imprisoned No Bird sings sweeter then the Bird in Cage And Satyrists like Dogs ty'd fiercest rage Thus will fond Felo proue by Disputation That New-gate is the Muses habitation But how so when some there cannot reherse In a month's Learning for their Liues a Verse To his Vnconstant Mistris Epig. 38. I Dare not much say when I thee commend Least Thou bee changed ere my Praises end Woman quasi Woe-man Epig. 39. HAd I not felt it misery to Woe I had beene marryed certaine long agoe Had I Not marryed straight Moroco sayes I had not once felt Woe in all my dayes If after Woman as before comes Woe Woe worth the Man with Woman hath to doe For Lawyers Epig. 40. I Muse that Lawyers feare no more to marry That from their Wiues must all the Terme-time tarry O Sir If Termely absence breeds the Feare How many Frights each Lawyer in a yeare Speudall's Pollicie Epig. 41. NOuerint Vniuersi per prae Thus began Notario read ere hee 'd his Coyne forgoe Holde cryes young Spendall S'fut you marre all man By any meanes my Father must not know For any money I 'de not haue it so Of Liber too wary to Thriue Epig. 42. LIber is late set vp and wanteth Custome Yet great resort hath got but hee 'l not Trust ' em Is not his Loue vnto his Friend the greater Hee 'l want himselfe ere hee 'l see him a Debtor In Lesbiam ingratam Epig. 43. WHy I should Loue thee I no Reason see Then Out of Reason Lesbia I Loue thee Sir Hughes mistake Epig. 44. IN Marriage Woman promise makes To serue her Husband all her Life Hence comes it that Sir Hugh mistakes Tha● vses Seruants as his Wi●e And further yet the sence doth wrest Louing Her most that serues him best In Pontum Epig. 45. POntus comes Posting almost euery day And cryes How doe you Sir Come what 's the play Who doubts but much his labour hee hath lost I nere coo'd tell no more then coo'd the Post. In Milonem Epig 46. MIlo much blames mee that in all my Verse I nothing in my ●istris Praise reherse Know I haue Volumes and wou'd I confesse But can not get consent of Her to Presse Of Wine Epig. 47. PHysitians Wine at Spring-Time poyson call I hold It neuer hurteth but i th' Fall In Presbiterum Epig. 48. PResbyter that of late his Parish crost By his loose Liuing hath his Liuing lost And will turne Begger hoping by his Wittes To raise a Benefice from Benefitts Foole Studdy better better meanes to liue To Learned B●ggers rate or ne're men giue Where Art and Pouerty together dwell 'T is shrowdly to bee fear'd all is not well Men doe by Beggiug Liuings get we see Yet few get Liuings by their Beggery In Ignotum Epig. 49. A Cornish Citizen came to his Wife Swore he had beene in danger of his life How man quoth shee Faith pointing but at One Counted the