this day rid from home My leasure fitly serues mee thanke you Mistresse Sencer. At sixe à clocke Gratiana I will not fayle the houre Exit Sencer. Now to sir Harry his is the next place To meete at Hogsden his fayre daughter Grace Exit Actus 5us Scena prima Enter old M. Chartly as new come out of the Country To inquire after his Sonne and three or foure serving men with blew Coates to attend him â—Old Chart. Good heauen This London is a stranger growne and out of my acquaintance this seauen yeares I haue not seene Pauls steeple or Cheape crosse Gyles Sir Old Chart. Hast thou not made inquiry for my Sonne Gyles Yes sir I haue askt about euery where for him But cannot heare of him Old Chart. Disperse your selues inquire about the Tavernes Ordinaryes Bowle-allyes Tenis courts Gaming-houses For there I feare hee will be found Gyles But where shall wee heare of your worship againe Old Chart. At Grace Church by the Conduit neere Sir Harry but stay leaue off a while your bootlesse search had e're man such a wild braine to his sorrow of such small hope who when hee should haue married a fayre a modest and a vertuous maide rich and revenewed well and even the night before the marriage day tooke horse road thence whether Heaven knowes since the distracted virgin hath left her Fathers house but neather feumd yet in their search wee haue measured out much Ground Enter Sir Harry and Sencer Sencer. Your worship will bee there Sir Harry Yes not to fayle At halfe an houre past sixe or before seaven Sencer. You shall not finde us at sixe and at seaven I le Warrant you good health to your worship Exit Sir Harry Farewell good fellow At the Wisewomans house I know it well Perhaps she knowes some danger touching mee I 'le keepe mine houre Old Chart. Sir Harry a hand a hand to balk you it were siun I shall be bold to make your house mine Inne Sir Harry Brother Chartly I am glad to see you Old Chart. Mee thinkes sir Harry you looke strangely on mee And doe not bid me welcome with an heart Sir Harry And blame mee not to looke amazedly To see you heare Old Chart. Why mee Sir Harry Come come y' are welcome And now I le turne my strangenesse to true joy I am glad to see you well and safe recovered Of your late grievous sicknesse Old Chart. The strange amazed lookes that you cast off You put on mee and blame mee not to wonder That you should talke of sicknesse to sound men I thanke my starres I did not tast the griefe Of inward paine or outward malady This seaven yeeres day Sir Harry But by your favour brother Then let mee haue my wonder backe againe Old Chart. Before I quite part with it let mee knowe Why you the name of brother put vpon mee In every clause a name as strange to mee As my recovered sicknesse Sir Harry You are plesant And it becomes you well welcome againe The rather you are come just to the wedding Old Chart. What wedding sir Sir Harry That you should aske that question Why of my daughter Grace Old Chart. Is Grace bestow'd Of whom I pray Sir Harry Of whom but of your sonne I wonder brother Chartly and my friend You should thus play on mee Old Chart. But by your favour Were you tenne Knights Sir Harry take mee with you My sonne match with your daughter my consent Not worthy to bee crau'd Sir Harry Nay then I see You 'l stirre my patience know this forward match tooke its first birth from you Old Chart. From mee Sir Harry From you Peruse this letter know you your owne hand T' was well that I reseru'd your hand a witnesse Against your tongue you had best denie the Ioynter Of the three hundred pounds made to my daughter T is that I know you ayme at but your seale Old Chart. Shall not make mee approue it I denye This Seale for mine nor doe I vouch that hand Your daughter and the dower letter and all I quite disclaime sir Harry you much wrong mee Sir Harry I can beare more then this heape wrong on wrong and I le support it all I for this time Will cast my spleene behind mee and yet heare mee This letter your sonne Chartly as from you Delivered mee I like the motion well Old Chart. My spleen is further throwne aside then yours And I am full as patient and yet heare mee My sonne 's contracted to another maid Nay I am patient still yet that I writ This letter seald this impresse I denye Sir Harry Why then the jack your hand did counterfeit Old Chart. Why then hee did so where 's that vnthrift speake Sir Harry Some houre agoe hee mounted and rid post To giue you visit whom hee said lay sicke Vpon your death-bed Old Chart. You amaze mee sir It is an ill presage hereon I see Your former salutation tooke its ground To see mee safe recovered of my sicknesse Sir Harry Indeed it did your welcome is a subject I cannot vse too oft welcome againe I am sorry you this night must sup alone For I am else-where cald about some businesse Concerning what I know not howers run on I must to Hogsden high time I were gon Exit Old Chart. Perhaps to the Wisewomans shee may tell mee The fortunes of my sonne this accident Hath bred in mee suspition and strange feares I will not sup alone but I protest 'mongst some this night I 'le play the intruding guest Exit with his serving-men Enter the Wisewoman Sencer Luce and her Father 2. Luce Wisew. But will sir Harry come Sencer. Presume hee will and Chartly too Father I le haue the knaue by the eares Luce. Nay patience sir leaue your revenge to mee Enter M. Boyster Boyster Granam I am come according to promise Wisew. And welcome to the best hole that I haue in Hogsden Boyster Good even Luce. Thanks sir a good even may it proue That each may reape the fruits of their owne Love 2. Luce. That shall bee my prayer too Boyster Come what shall 's doo Wisew. Withdraw I le place you all in severall roomes Where sit see but say nothing Exeunt Enter Taber vshering Gratiana Taber Heere sweete Mistresse I know the place well ever Since I was heere to know my fortune Gratiana Call mee some halfe an houre hence Exit Enter the Wisewoman and 2. Luce Wisew. Your Ladiship is most lovingly welcome A low stoole for the Gentlewoman boy I made bold to send to you to take view of such a peece of worke as I presume you haue seldome seene the like Gratia of whose doing I pray Wisew. A friend of yours and mine Please you withdraw I le bring you too 't 2. Luce. Mistresse Wisew. One calls sweet Lady I shall doe you wrong But pray you thinke my little stay not long Enter Sencer sir Harry and Luce Sencer. Here sir in this retyring Chamber Sir Harry Gramercy
I married 2. Luce. Then you have no reason but to injoy both them and me too and so you are like I should be loath to divorce Man and Wife Boyst. I am fool'd but vvhat crackt vvare are you forsooth 2. Luce. I belong to the old Gentlevvoman of the house Boyst. I le set her house on fire I am finely bobb'd 2. Luce. But I hope you will not bobb me Boyst. No I 'se vvarrant thee vvhat art thou Girle or Boy 2. Luce. Both and neither I vvas a Ladd last night but in the morning I vvas conjured into a Lasse And being a Girle novv I shall be translated to a Boy anon Here 's all I can at this time say for my selfe Farevvell Boyst. Yes and be hang'd vvithall O for some Gun powder to blovv up this Witch this Shee-male this damn'd Sorceresse O I could teare her to fitters vvith my teeth Yet I must be patient and put up all lest I bee made a jeere to such as knovv mee fool'd by a Boy Goe too of all the rest the Girle Luce must not knovv it Exit Enter Chartley and his man meeting Luce Chart. So now am I the same man I was yesterday who can say I was disguis'd or who can distinguish my condition now or reade in my face whether I be a married man or a Batchelor Luce. Who 's that Chart. Luce Luce. Sweet Husband is it you Chart. The newes Luce Never so frighted in my dayes Chart. What 's become of the Lord and the Lady Luce. The Lord fled after you the Lady staid who maskt and halfe unready ran fast after her poore affrighted Husband now all 's quiet Chart. This storme is then well past and now conveigh your selfe home as privately as you can and see you make this knowne to none but your Father Luce. I am your Wife and Servant Exit Chart. This name of Luce hath beene ominous to mee one Luce I should have married in the Countrey and just the night before a toy tooke me in the head and mounting my Horse I left Capons Ducks Geese Poultry Wild-fowle Father and Bride and all and posted up to London where I have ever since continued Batchelor till now And now Enter Gratiana in haste a Serving-man before her and Taber after her Grat. Nay on I Prethee fellow on my Father will wonder where I have beene visiting Now vvhat had I forgot Taber there 's money goe to the Gold-smiths bid him send mee my Fanne and make a quicke returne on fellow on Exit Taber Her Fanne at the Gold-smiths now had I forgot to aske her his name or his signe but I will after to know Chart. Sirrah goe call mee backe that Serving-man And aske him vvhat 's the Gentle-vvomans name Servingman I shall ho you Friend you Taber Who 's that calls Servingman 'T was I Taber Your businesse you should be one though not of my cognisance yet of my condition a Serving-creature as I take it pray vvhat 's your vvill vvith mee Servingman Pray Sir what might I call that Gentlevvoman on vvhom you were attendant Taber You may call her vvhat you please but if you call her otherwise then in the vvay of honestie you may perchance heare on 't Servingman Nay be not offended I say vvhat doe you call her Taber Why Sir I call her as it shall best please mee sometimes yong Lady sometimes yong Mistris and vvhat hath any man to doe with that Chart. Are you so captious sirrah vvhat 's her name Speake and be briefe Taber Ey marry Sir you speake to purpose and I can resolve you her name is Gratiana But all this vvhile I have forgot my Mistris Fanne Exit Chart. Gratiana oft have I heard of her but saw her not till now 't is a prettie wench a very prettie wench nay a very very very prettie wench But what a Rogue am I of a married man nay that have not beene married this six houres and to have my shittle-wits runne a Wooll-gathering already What vvould poore Luce say if shee should heare of this I may very well call her poore Luce for I cannot presume of five pounds to her portion what a Coxcombe was I being a Gentleman and well deriv'd to match into so beggarly a kindred What needed I to have grafted in the stocke of such a Choake Peare and such a goodly Popering as this to escape mee Escape mee said I if shee doe shee shall doe it narrowly but I am married already and therefore it is not possible unlesse I should make away my wife to compasse her Married why who knowes it I le out-face tho Priest and then there is none but shee and her Father and their evidence is not good in Law and if they put mee in suite the best is they are poore and cannot follow it I marry Sir a man may have some credit by such a Wife as this I could like this marriage well if a man might change away his Wife still as hee is a weary of her and cope her away like a bad commoditie if every new Moone a man might have a new Wife that 's every yeare a dozen But this Till Death us depart is tedious I will goe a wooing to her I will but how shall I doe for jewels and tokens Luce hath mine in her custodie money and all tush I le juggle them from her well enough see here shee comes Enter Luce and her Father Luce. Here is my Husband I pray move him in it Father It toucheth both our reputations nearly For by his oft repaire now whilst the Marriage Is kept from publike knowledge your good name May be by Neighbours hardly censur'd of Chart. Th' art sad Th' art sad Luce what melancholly already ere thou hast had good cause to be merry and knowst what sport was Luce. I have great reason when my name is toss'd In every Gossips mouth and made a by-word Vnto such people as it least concernes Nay in my hearing as they passe along Some have not spar'd to brand my modestie Saying There sits shee whom yong Chartley keepes There hath hee entred late betimes gone forth Where I with pride was wont to sit before I 'm now vvith shame sent blushing from the doore Chart. Alas poore foole I am sorry for thee but yet cannot helpe thee as I am a Gentleman Why say Luce thou losest now forty shillings worth of Credit stay but a time and it shall bring thee in a thousand pounds worth of commoditie Father Son Son had I esteem'd my profit more Then I have done my credit I had now Beene many thousands richer but you see Truth and good dealing beare an humble saile That little I injoy it is with quiet Got with good conscience kept with good report And that I still shall labour to preserve Chart. But doe you heare mee Father Nothing I le heare that tends unto the ruine Of mine or of my Daughters honestie Shall I be held a Broker to lewd Lust Now in my waine
of yeares Chart. Will you but heare mee Father Not in this case I that have liv'd thus long Reported well esteem'd a welcome Guest At every burthen'd Table there respected Now to be held a Pander to my Daughter That I should live to this Chart. But harke you Father Father A Bawd to mine owne child Chart. Father Father To my sweet Luce Chart. Father Father Deale with me like a Son then call me Father I that have had the tongues of every man Ready to crowne my Reputation The hands of all my Neighbours to subscribe To my good like and such as could not write Ready with Palsie and unlettered fingers To set their scribbling markes Chart. Why Father in Law Father Thou hadst a Mother Luce 't is woe with me To say thou hadst but hast not a kind Wife And a good Nurse she was she had she liv'd To heare my name thus canvast and thus toss'd Seven yeares before she dy'd I had beene a Widower Seven yeares before I was Heaven rest her soule Shee is in Heaven I hope Hee wipes his eyes Chart. Why so now these be good words I knew these stormes would have a showre and then they would cease Now if your anger be over heare me Father Well say on Son Chart. Stay but a Moneth 't is but foure Weekes nay 't is February the shortest Moneth of the yeare and in that time I shall be at full age and the Land being intail'd my Father can dis-inherit mee of nothing Is your spleene downe now Have I satisfied you Well I see you chollericke hasty men are the kindest when all is done Here 's such wetting of Hand-kerchers hee weepes to thinke of his Wife shee weepes to see her Father cry Peace foole wee shall else have thee claime kindred of the Woman kill'd with kindnesse Father Well Son my anger 's past yet I must tell you It grieves mee that you should thus slight it off Concerning us no such a deere degree In private be it spoke my Daughter tels me Shee 's both a Wife and Maid Chart That may be help't Now Luce your Fathers pacifi'd will you be pleas'd I would indure a Quarters punishment for thee and wilt not thou suffer a poore Moneths penance for mee 'T is but eight and twenty dayes Wench thou shalt fare well all the time drinke well eate well lie well come one word of comfort at the later end of the day Luce. Yours is my fame mine honour and my heart Link't to your pleasure and shall never part Chart. Gramercie Wench thou shalt weare this chaine no longer for that word I le multiply the linkes in such order that it shall have light to shine about thy necke oftener then it doth this jewell a plaine Bristowe stone a counterfeit How base was I that comming to thee in the way of Marriage courted thee with counterfeit stones Thou shalt weare right or none thou hast no money about thee Luce Luce. Yes Sir I have the hundred pounds that you gave me to lay up last Chart. Fetch it let mee see how much branch'd Sattin goes to a Petticoat and how much wrought Velvet to a Gowne then for a Bever for the Citie and a Blackbagge for the Country I le promise her nothing but if any such trifles bee brought home let her not thanke mee for them Enter Luce with the Bagge Gramercie Luce Nay goe in Gravitie and Modestie ten to one but you shall heare of mee e're you see mee againe Father I know you kinde impute my hastie Language unto my rage not mee Chart. Why doe not I know you and doe not I know her I doubt you 'l wish shortly that I had never knowne either of you now what sayst thou my sweet Luce Luce. My words are yours so is my life I am now part of your selfe so made by Nuptiall vowes Chart. What a Pagan am I to practise such villany against this honest Christian If Gratiana did come into my thoughts I should fall into a vaine 'to pittie her but now that I talk of her I have a tongue to wooe her Tokens to win her and that done if I doe not find a tricke both to weare her and wearie her it may prove a piece of a Wonder Thou seest Luce I have some store of Crownes about me there are brave things to be bought in the Citie Cheapside and the Exchange afford varietie and raritie This is all I will say now but thou mayest heare more of mee hereafter Exit Luce. Heaven speed you where you goe Sir shall we in Though not from scandall wee live free from Sin Father I le in before Exit Enter Master Boyster Boyst. I am still in love with Luce and I would know An answer more directly fie fie this Love Hangs on me like an Ague makes me turne foole Coxcombe and Asse why should I love her why A Rattle-Baby Puppit a slight toy And now I could goe to buffets with my selfe And cuffe this Love away but see that 's Luce Luce. I cannot shun him but I le shake him off Boyst. Morrow Luce. As much to you Boyst. I 'le use few words Canst love me Luce. Deed Sir no Boyst. Why the farewell the way I came I le goe Exit Luce. This is no tedious Courtship hee 's soone answer'd So should all Sutors else bee were they wise For being repulst they doe but waste their dayes In thanklesse suites and superficiall praise Enter Boyster againe Boyst. Sweare that thou wilt not love me Luce. Not Sir for any hate I ever bare you Or any foolish pride or vaine conceite Or that your feature doth not please mine eye Or that you are not a brave Gentleman But for concealed reasons I am forc'd To give you this cold answer and to sweare I must not then with patience pray forbeare Boyst. Even farewell then Exit Luce. The like to you and save your hopes in me Heaven grant you your best wishes all this strife Will end it selfe when I am knowne a Wife Exeunt Explicit Actus tertius Actus 4us Scena prima Enter Sir Harry M. Harringsfield Gratiana with others Sir Harry I am satisfied good M. Harringsfield touching your friend and since I see you haue left his dangerous company I limit you to bee a welcome guest vnto my Table Harring. You haue bin alwayes noble Enter Taber Sir Harry Taber the newes with thee Taber May it please the right worshipfull to vnderstand that there are some at the Gate who dance a turne or two without and desire to bee admitted to speake with you within Sir Harry The Scholler is it not Taber Nay sir there are two Schollers and they are spowting Latin one against the other And in my simple Iudgement the stranger is the better Scholler and is somewhat too hard for sir Boniface For he speakes lowder and that you know is ever the signe of the most learning and hee also hath a great desire to serue your Worship Sir Harry Two schollers
maid Exit Enter Taber and Sir Boniface with a Trencher with broken meate and a Napkin Taber Fye fye what a time of trouble is this to morrow to morrow is my mistresse to be married and wee seruingmen are so pusled Sir Boniface The dinner 's halfe done and before I say Grace and bid the old Knight and his guest proface A medicine from your trencher good M. Taber As good a man as ere was sir Saber Well thinke it no shame men of learning and wit say study gets a stomacke friend Taber a bit Taber Lick cleane good sir Boniface and saue the scraper a labour Enter Sencer like a Servingman Sir Boniface But soft let mee ponder Know you him that comes yonder Taber Most heartily welcome would you speake with any heere Senc. Pray is the yong gentleman of the house at leisure Taber Meane you the Bridegroome M. Chartly Sencer. I haue a Letter for him You seeme to be a gentleman your selfe acquaint him with my attendance and I shall rest yours in all good offices Taber Sir Boniface pray keepe the gentleman company I will first acquaint your lippes with the vertue of the Seller Sir Boniface Adesdem come neere and tast of your beere Welcome sine dole for puntis te vole Exit Sencer. When I tast of your liqour Gramercy master Vicar Enter Taber with a bowle of Beere and a Napkine Taber Most heartily welcome your curtesie I beseech you ply it off I intreate you pray sir Boniface keepe the Gentleman company till I acquaint my yong master with his businesse Exit Sir Bonif. Taber I shall besolas manus They dissemble one to another Sencer. A vostre seruitor Enter Haringsfield Harring. Hee what art thou Sencer. A hanger on if it please you Harring. And I a shaker off I le not beare your gallowes You shall not hang on mee Enter Chartly with his Napkin as from Dinner O. Mr Bridegroome Chartly Gentlemen the Ladies call vpon you to dance they will be out of measure displeased if dinner beeing done you bee not ready to leade them a measure Harring. Indeede women love not to bee scanted of their measure Chartly Fie sir Boniface haue you forgot your selfe Whilst you are in the Hall there 's never a whetstone for their wits in the Parler Sir Boniface I will enter and set an edge vpon their Ingenies Chartly To mee sir from whom a letter to her most deere most louing most kind friend Mr. Chartly these bee deliuered sure from some wench or other I long to know the contents Sencer. Now to cry quittance with you for my farewell learn'd sir Timothy Chartly Good newes as I liue there 's for thy paines my good sir Pandarus Hadst thou brought mee word my father had turnd vp his heeles Thou couldst scarcely haue pleased mee better Hee reades though I disclaime the name of wife of which I account my selfe altogether vnworthy yet let mee claime some small interest in your loue this night I lye at the house where wee were married the Wisewomans I meane where my maiden-head is to bee rifled bid fayre for it and inioy it see mee this night or never so may you marrying Gratiana and louing mee haue a sweete wife and a true friend This night or never your quondam wife Hereafter your poore sweet-heart no other Luce So when I am tyr'd with Gratiana that is when I am past grace With her I can make my rendevowz I le not slip this occasion nor sleepe till I see her thou art an honest ladde and maist prooue a good Pimpe in time Canst thou advise mee what colour I may haue to compasse this commodity Sencer. Sir shee this night expects you and prepares a costly banquet for you Chartly I le goe although the Devill and mischance looke bigge Sencer. Feyne some newes that such a peece of Land is falne to you and you must instantly ride to take possession of it or which is more probable cannot you perswade them you haue receiu'd a letter that your Father lyes a dying Chartly You rogue I would hee did but the name of that newes is cal'd too good to be true Sencer And that if ever you will see him aliue you must ride post into the Country Chartly Enough if ever I prooue Knight errant thou shalt bee mine owne proper squire for this thou hast fitted mee with a plot doe but waite heere note how I will manage it Tabor my horse for I must ride to night Taber To night sir Chartly So tell my Bride and Father I haue newes that quite confounds my sences Enter Sir Harry Gratiana and Harringsfield Gratiana How ride to night the marriage day to morrow And all things well provided for the feast O tell mee sweete why doe you looke so pale Chartly My Father O my Father Grace What of him Sir Harry What of your father Sonne Chartly If ever I will heere his aged tongue Preach to mee counsell or his palsy hand Stroake my wild head and blesse mee or his eyes Drop teare by teare which they haue often done At my misgovern'd rioting youth What should I more if ever I would see The good old man aliue Oh Oh Sencer. Goe thy wayes for thou shalt ha 't Grace But doe you meane to ride Chartly Ey Grace all this night Sencer. Not all the night without alighting sure You 'l finde more in 't then to get vp and ride Harring. The Gentlemans riding bootes and spurres Why Taber Chartly Nay Grace now 's no time To stand on scrupulous parting Knewest thou my businesse Sencer. As shee shall knowe it Chartly And how I meane this night to toyle my selfe Sencer. Marry hang you brock Chartly Thou would be moane my travell Sencer. I know t' would grieue her Chartly You father Grace good Mr Harringsfield You sir and all pray for mee Gentlemen that in this darke nights journey I may finde smooth way sweete speed and all things to my minde Sir Harry Wee 'l see my sonne take horse Exeunt Gratiana But I will stay I want the heart to see him post away Sencer. Saue you gentlewoman I haue a message to deliver to one Mistress Gratiana this should bee the Knights house her father Gratiana It is The message that you haue to her You may acquaint mee with for I am one That knowes the inside of her thoughts Sencer. Are you the Lady Gratiana Sir I am the poore gentlewoman Sencer. There is a conning woman dwells not farre At Hogsden Lady famous for her skill Besides some private talke that much concernes your fortunes in your love Shee hath to shewe you this night if it shall please you walke so farre as to her house an admirable suite Of costly needle worke which if you please You may by vnder-rate for halfe the valew It cost the making about sixe a clocke You may haue view thereof but otherwise A Lady that hath crau'd the sight thereof Must haue the first refusall Gratiana I le not fayle her My husband beeing