but also in England which day we should celebrate and solemnize with eternall memorie So did Moses set downe the dayes which God commaunded to bee solemnized in memorie of the victories and tryumphes which he had against Pharoh called Parasâ—eua for the which both Ezechias and Iosias proclaimed this feast throughout all Israel from Dan to Berseba with others two feasts which were yeerely kept and solemnized at Hierusalem in memorie of victories So Ioshua remembred his victories ouer 31 Kings with thanksgiuing to the Lord. So Machabeus in memorie of his victories of that blasphemous Nicanor Antiochus Generall and made that day to be solemnized So Mardocheus kept the feast called Phurim in memorie of the victorie which the Iewes had against the Persians in all the Cities of Persia. These are the feasts of thankesgiuing vnto God and not like such drunken feasts as the Athenians did make in the Moneth of Nouember to honour Bacchus neither such feasts as the Thracians had worse than the Athenians to honor Dionisius neither such Feasts as the Egiptians worse than the Thracians made to the Image of Priapus In such a drunken Feast to Baall Balthazar King of Babilon lost his Kingdome In such a Feast to Dagon the house fell vpon the 5 Princes of the Philistins and in such was Benhadad a drunken King of Syria slaine with 32 Kings in his drunken Pauillion Of such drunken Feasts the Prophet saith That both Priests and Prophets were drunken with wine and that they fayled in Prophecie and stumbled in Iudgment Therfore we must season and temperate our feasts as Elizeus did the water of Iericho by casting salt into it In Rome and in Italy as Varro sayth they farre exceeded the Athenians the Thracians and Egiptians in such filthy Feasts vntill by the Senators these kinds of Feasts were banished from Rome and Italy Per Senatus consulium Sectio 5. THE Lampsenians vnderstanding that Alexander the great had fully determined to destroy the Citie of Lampsacus they sent Anaximenes the Philosopher Schoolemaster somtime to Alexander to intreat for peace No sayd Alexander I haue vowed that whatsoeuer thou sekest at my hand I wil denie it thee Destroy then Lampsachus said Anaximenes His request being denyed Lampsachus was saued This Embassage was better performed to Alexander by Anaximenes then the Embassage of Aeschines to King Philip. This Orator being sent from Athens to King Philip of Macedon at his returne to Athens hee much coÌ„mended Philip for his beautie for his eloquence and for much bearing of drinke Demosthenes tooke vp Aeschines and sayd That he made a woman of King Philip for his beautie a babling Sophister for his eloquence and a Spunge for his drinking you should haue done as Demades did being then as his prisoner with diuers other citizens of Athens seeing Philip crowned with garlands in his robes and too much reioysing in his drinke of his victories ouer his Captaines and prisoners of Greece Demades boldly sayd Art not thou King Philip ashamed whome Greece made their Generall like AgameÌ„non thou to make thy selfe like bibbing Thersites with such taunts as Demades made Philip to cast off his crowns his garlands and his roabes and for verie shame to dismisse the poore Greekes his prisoners with Demades to go free to Athens and other Cities of Greece The like is read of Polemon a gallant Gentleman of Athens but being drunke rushed in his drunkenes into Anaxagoras schoole at lector time he perceiuing that Polemon was beastly shameles drunken Anaxagoras altered his daies Lector to speake of drunkennesse in such sort that Anaxagoras made Polemon as shamefast of his druÌ„kenes as Demades did king Philip both made to cast off their Crownes their Garlands and their Robes and to be ashamed of themselues Yet M. Antonius made a Booke to defend drunkennesse being reprehended therof by Cicero which was the onely cause of Ciceroes banishment and afterward of his death another Glutton named Apicius wrote a whole volume De gulae irritamentis And for the like speech Cicero vsed was Hermodorus banished from the Sybarites with whome the law was that nemo apud nos frugi sit they banished all kind of Artificers because they should not trouble them with knocking haÌ„mering carting or any noise to disquiet their drinking and withal the Sybarites made a law that no Cock shuld be in their Citie to wake theÌ„ from their sleep These were the Epicures of whom the Prophet saith Eadmus bibamus cras moriamur Of this companie was Philoxenus and Melancthus the one wished a Cranes neck the other a swans neck and either of these two wished to haue tricubitale guttur a throat of 3 cubites long to haue more pleasure in their long swallowing of their meat and drinke and yet see and obserue the difference The great Alexander when Ada Queene of Caria had sent him a daintie dish of meat thought shee should be commended for her cookery and pleasant sawce one sayd to her Euerie souldier that Alexander hath is a better Cooke and maketh sweeter sawce than the Queene of Caria can make The like Darius sayd the great King of Persia that he neuer dranke better wine in Persia than that water which was brought to him by a souldier in his Helmet So Ptolomey the first King of that name in Egipt confessed that he did neuer eat better bread in Egipt than that which a shepheard gaue the King out of his scrip See the difference betweene three base Epicures and three of the most mightie Kinges vppon the earth I know not which to preferre Philip of Macedon for his ambition or Xerxes for his lust and pleasure King Xerxes appointed pensions and great rewards for them that were named nouae voluptatis repertores that could inuent and find out new kinde of delights and pleasures King Philip gaue much money to any man that would betray great Cities and Townes and would after giue those Townes and Cities to those that would betray Countreys and Kingdomes Caesar suspecting the faith and promise of the Egiptians to be flatterie gaue himselfe to feasting and banqueting in Alexandria Thus Caesar fed the Egiptians vntill he wan all Egipt So great King Cyrus stratagem was to make his foes become his friendes in lieue off punishment and slaughter banquets and playes so hee pleased the people of Sardenses and so hee rewarded the rude and barbarous people Arymaspy and commaunded they should be called Euargetes Leontinus Gorgius being asked what hee thought of a great mightie King I knowe not sayd Gorgius whether he be Philip or Alexander a Marchant or a Souldier for Philip wan all Greece tanquam Mercator as a Marchant and Alexander wanne all Asia tanquam Victor as a Conquerour Alexander enquired for good Souldiers Philip sought good siluer Like Dionisius the Tyrant that asked his familiar and dere friend Antiphones where how
he might get some money At Athens sayd Antiphones where the Statues and Images of Harmodius and Aristogiton are made of pure siluer for that they kill Pysistratus the Tyrant that bold speech cost Antiphones his life Plutarch recites a Historie of Dionisius barbor who hearing in his shop many attending their washing and trimming that Dionisius Anton Comodus and Alexander Pheraeus and especially Dionisius and his sonne was the most cruell Tyrant Say you so sayd his barbor Sub cuius iugulo hanc teneo nouaculum he was hanged for his speech In manibus linguae mors vita But Dionisius the Father was slaine by the people and Dionysius the Sonne expelled out of Scicilia by Dion a Noble man in Sicilia by the Councell of Plato That was the cause why Philippides the Poet refused to be of King Lysimachus Councell being in such grace and fauor with Lysimachus that the King spake with Philippides Quid vis vt impartiar tibi nothing said the poore poet but only this ne sime consilijs tuis Orontes the Persian being cast out of fauour with king Artaxerxes his father in law would cōpare the fauour of Princes to Arithmeticians fingers laying downe and taking vp to make what summe they list so might that great Philosopher Aratus speake of king Philip when he vomited vp blood saying haec sunt regia proemia Valentinianus the Emperour after he had caused his familiar friend Aetius to be slaine asked another friend of his whether Aetius deserued death that I know not said he to the Emperour but this I know that you cut off your right hand with your left hand and it was true for Valentinianus was slaine by Aetius souldiers And yet better is an euill Prince hauing good and faithfull subiects than wicked and false subiects with a good Prince Had Saul but tenne such as Samuel as he had tenne Thousand Doegs about him no doubt he had obeyed God and serued him better and gouerned Israel wiser Had Ioas but few such coūcellors as Iehoida was he had not been seduced to forsake his God to neglect his commaundement and to forget what Iohoida had done for him Had Dionisius the Tyrant entertained but Ten such like Plato to tell him true as he had ten Hundred like Aristippus to flatter him he had not need to be guarded with armed men and to say to his son Haec adamantina regum vincula God would haue but tenne good and godly in Sodome and Sodome should bee saued Agamemnon wished but tenne such as Naestor to vanquish all his enemies in Phrygia and sette the Greekes at libertie to returne to Greece againe And yet Saul a wicked King did many good things by the perswasion of Samuel And King Ioas while Iohoida liued forsooke not God nor his lawes And Dionisius the Tyrant abstained from much tyrannie by the councell of Plato But Saul had not so many Chusai as he had Achitophels Dionisius had not so many Platoes to tell him truth as he had of Aristippus to flatter him Plato asked Dionisius why he went so guarded Dionisius answered Plato I told my Sonne a dumme stratageme that Torquinius Superbius told his Sonne Tarquinius Sextus what Thrasibulus willed Periander to do In spicarum de truncatione but all these damned stratagems were to effect tyrannie as you read before But King Antigonus reprehended his Sonne that handled his Subiects roughly saying Doest not thou know Son that Regnum nostrum est splendida seruitus that neither armes strength nor treasures are so certaine and sure to regall Sceptors as faithfull friends So Maximilian the Emperor said in a publick meeting with all the Princes of Germanie at Wormatia where the Duke of Saxon first preferring his Mettals and rich vaines of the earth the Duke of Bauaria much commending his stronge and braue Cities and Townes the Duke Palatine his Wines and fertilitie of his Land and the Duke of Whitenberg sayd I can lay my head and sleepe vpon the lap of any Subiects I haue idque subdio abrode in the field euerie where and when I will Then sayd Maximilian Huic facile concedite palimam I would England might haue so sayd in Queen Elizabeths time or now great Britane in King Iames time is hard to haue it among such as thinke it as sweete a Sacrifice to their Romane Mars to burne a Protestant in England as in Greece to kill a Tyrant to please their God Iupiter And as great a tryumph was it in Oxford to burne three famous learned Bishops as it was to Diagoras the Philosopher to see his three Sonnes crowned at the games of Olympia This was prooued in Queene Maries time when Arch-bishops Bishops learned men and all kind of men were burned in all places of England and yet in all the time of Queene Elizabeth not a haire of their heads were toucht But of such Iesuits and Seminaries which vnder colour of Religion became Traitors and Rebels These forget Hectors verse out of Homer chiding his friend Polydamus that feared to fight for his Countrey doubting soothsaying Augurium optimum said Hector patriam fortiter defendere But these Iesuites hold with Pope Iulian the 2 that threw Saint Peters keyes ouer Romes bridge into Tiber and with Pope Hildebrand which threw the Sacrament into the fire haue that verse in their mouth which Pope Leo and diuers other Popes vsed to say Flectere si nequeo superos acheronta mouebo Of such Menedemus the Philosopher sayd That many went to Athens that thought themselues wise before they went to Athens and after a while being at Athens they thought themselues eloquent Orators and streight after they thought themselues to be graue philosophers but at last prooued verie Idiots Many likewise goe to Rome to see the Pope the Senators and people of Rome and as some prooued to be Idiots by going to Athens so some be prooued to be Serpents by going to Rome and such Serpents that are Rebels and Traytors in England are canonized Saints at Rome Beda our Countrey-man being at Rome was requested by some Schoole-master in a scoffe to know what meant these foure letters S. P. Q. R. Beda dissembled out the matter sayd Stultus populus quaerit Romam Foolish people seeke to see Rome yea too many seek out Rome in England and too many would willingly build Rome in England Such a Schoolemaister was Appion in Alexandria that reioysed to make discord and mooue sedition in the Citie to set the Egiptians against the Iewes and the Iewes against the Greekes to expell to banish both Greekes and Iewes out of Alexandria to haue Egiptians onely in Egipt saying ô beatae ciuitas quae me talem maeruit habere ciuem This seditious Schoole-maister Appion was more esteemed in Rome of both the Emperours Claudius and Nero in his Embassage for the Egiptians than Philo that learned Iewe was on the behalfe of the people of God
the Hebrew Bible to draw the full time of the Messias from the verie promise of the seed of the woman vnto the very birth of the Messias So also did the Iewes draw Ex epinicio Mosis Quis sicut tu in dijs Iehouah Of these wordes they picked such letters as they inuented for the name of the Machabees For Ioshua vsed these words as Moses did And after Ioshua Iudas their third Iudge vsed it as his poesie the which was good and godly But how they vsed their vaine Cabbales out of the other godly words I know not vnlesse it were to know where when and how long this Religion should endure we know well how long it hath endured In like manner Maximilian the Emperour vsed the fiue Vowels for his poesie which noted the Maiesty and Iustice of the Empire a word for euery vowel which was Aquila Electa Iuste Omnia Vincit Vlisses had rather see the smoake of Greece than the sun shining in Phrygia And some had rather see the smoak of Idolatrie in Rome than their fier in England Vlisses confest that he would willingly loose the solace and ioy of immortalitie before he would forget the sweet ayer and delight of his Countrey Ithaca And others cannot abide the sight or smell of their Countrey Britane They cannot endure to drinke of the sweet Riuers of Bethel but they can swallow vp the puddles in Bethauen Genutius a Roman Pretor riding out of Rome suddainly there sprange as it seemed hornes on his head This woonder was by the Soothsayers interpreted that if Genutius would returne againe to Rome hee should be a King of the Romans He to auoid the name of a King being an odious name in his Countrey willingly banished himselfe from Rome least he should be a King in Rome to offend the Romanes The Romans therefore set vp his Image vpon that gate he went out of Rome in memorie of his great loue towards Rome So did they vpon the gate the 300 Fabij went out of Rome to end the quarrell betweene the Romans and the Viants Then in Rome they rewarded good Captaines for their seruice and now in Rome they reward Murtherers and Tirants that can inuent mischiefe When Kings and Kindomes reuolted their policies were practised then three Romane Embassadors were sent from Rome to Bythinia the one of them had a wound in his head The second had a stitch in his heart The third had the gowt or a sore legge Of these three Embassadors was Cato wont to iest saying Behold the Romane Embassadors without a head without a heart and without a legge Such Embassadors haue been often sent into England some with such wounds in their heads that their heads will not be healed without alteration of States and translation of Kingdomes some with such a stitch in their hearts that can take no rest before they haue gotten Spoliam opimam Patriae the overthrow of their Countrey and some with sore legges that cannot trauaile beyond the Seas but stay at home as standards and hospitals for such guests that come I know not whence I much doubt that there bee too many with such sore legges in Great Britane that lurke in Labyrinths made for such Embassadors some as Tutors in the Vniuersities some as Schoole masters in Gentlemens houses some as Magistrates and Officers in commission of peace some matcht in Mariage with great Houses and too many backt and countenanced lye hidden in such secret Labyrinths that the Sunne cannot see them but the Sonne of God seeth them though they be kept as secret as the Bookes of the Sibiles in Rome or verses of the Driades among the old Gauls Possidonius the Philosopher called Marcellus the Sword of Rome and Fabius the Target of Rome the one to cut off the heads of Romane enemies with his sword the other to guard and defend Rome with his Target Cunctando I pray God there bee not such a Marcellus or Fabius to defend these Romane Rebels in Britane who might liue and enioy the libertie of their countrey if they were not like the Cappadocians refusing their liberty offered theÌ„ by the Romans saying Se non posse ferre libertatem or like the Yonians as Critobolus sayd Frugi serui liberi mali good Romane seruants to the Pope but bad subiects in England These cannot abide the breath of Britane they would faine alter the name of the Isle of Britane either vnto the Isle of Serpents which is in Arabia or to the Isles of Satyres which is in Affrica Isles of their owne names Sectio 2. IN the time of Lu Crassus the Orator there dwelt in Rome a cruell dissembling Hypocrite one Dom surnamed Aenobarbus Of him Lu the Orator was woont to say That it was no wonder for Aenobarbus to haue a brazen beard since hee had an yron face and a leaden heart There bee many now in Rome and out of Rome that are like Aenobarbus with brazen beards yron faces and leaden hearts which if their bodies were opened as the Athenians did Aristomenes or as the Messenians did Hermogenes their hearts should bee found pilosa hijpida hairie and full of thornes And of late wee found many such brazen beards such yron faces and such leaden hearts in Britane as feare not the briars and brambles of Succoth nor the seruitude and bondage of Ioshua to the Gibeonites nor the lampes or the pitcher pots of Gedeon to the Medianites But it must be gladius Domini Gedeonis nostri the sword of God and our Gedeon that must tame these Tygrish Brutes and not Britanes whose hearts are in Rome though their bodies be in England and though they be not in Rome yet Rome is in their hearts for they are absent from Rome as the Iewes were from Egipt Corpore non animo But when the sunne shineth most cleere then the Crabbe catcheth the Oyster they are met and are found Policrates bragged so long of his fortunate estate and good successe that hee threw his Ring into the sea to trie further his fortune yet after his Ring was had againe he was hanged in Mount Mycalus in Persia by Oronâ—es Darius officer But Amasis a King in Egipt doubting much of his happinesse and great fortune wisht that he might tast of some calamitie and say Per varias fortunae vices and not alwayes to flourish in prosperitie Croesus iudged himselfe the happiest man vppon earth vntill he was taken with his Kingdome by Cyrus then hee thought what Solon sayd of such slipperie happinesse in this world Quam vitrea est Fortuna Saint Ambrose with some of his friends came vnto a lodging where the Host sayd of his good fortune and many bragged of their good fortune some sayd they knew not what calamity was others knew not what aduersitie was and others knew not what sicknesse meant Saint Ambrose made hast and tooke
the Iacobits and the Iamnites had their gods in their bosomes when they went to any battel so found in their bosomes when they were dead and slaine in the field and the Iewes imagined they were slaine therefore It is to bee doubted that the Papists haue their Crucifixe their Crosses their agnus Dei in any foule fact or in any treacherous actions they take in hand imitating Infidels and Pagans as Silla who had the picture of Apollo as Scipio had the picture of Iupiter to animate their souldiers to any hard enterprise These therefore are not well to be trusted lest they deceiue vs as the people called Iapyges in the borders of Italie who vnder colour of yeelding certaine Townes and Villages and some number of souldiers in pleadges of their submission to Publ Licinius the Romane Proconsul these souldiers were placed in the rereward of the armie hauing agreed that when these people came to submit themselues on both sides the armie and also they of the rereward fell suddenly vpon the Romanes that many were slaine and the Generall hardly escaped These Ismalites are backt with Rome on the one side with Spaine on the other side I trust they bee not backt in Britane for we wish them as the Grecians wished to the Persians to be out of Greece or as the Romanes wished to the Affricans to be out of Italie and so we wish them to bee in Rome or in Spaine if they cannot be quiet in Great Britane King Philip of Macedon the last doubting that his souldiers durst not abide the great hoasts of the Scithians appointed certaine horsemen to backe the timorous Macedonians and commanded them not to let one liue that would flee from their company But the Britanes being better backt than King Philips armie were and stronger wald than the Macedonians as Iosephus saith yea then either Carthage or Africa murus maior quo septi Britanni yet wee may not trust neither Friers nor Monkes which are now called Iesuits and Seminaries the onely cause of all sedition and quarrels And therefore was Heraclitus requested by some of his friends to make some speech in the pulpit to perswade loue friendship concord and amitie among the people being at variance by some seditious persons that loue discord Heraclitus knowing the cause of this discord and varience went vp to the pulpit and called for a cup of cold water and a handfull of flowre or meale and mingled it together and dranke it and came down without further speech Some of his friends said that his sermon was very short said it was a dum sermon yea said Heraclitus short speeches and dum shewes perswade most if men vnderstand it omes seditiones ex luxu nasci vnderstand that the water the mingled meale that I drank in the pulpit are as much as the words I spake that all seditions grow of too much wealth and of abundance There was an old man in Greece called Cleanthes which alwaies brauled and chid with himselfe his neighbor Theodectes asked Cleanthes with whō he so brauld chid awaies with an old friend of mine said Cleanthes which hath a white beard and a graye head These gray heads white beards which we haue in great Britane might find their owne falts as well as Cleanthes did if they were as carefull of their heads as Philetas was of his feet or Cinesias was of his back Rhodiginus writes that one Philetas of Coos was so light and so little of bodie that they put lead vnder the soles of his shooes lest any great wind should haue blowne him from the earth And of another that was so long and so slender named Cinesias that he was bound with strong barkes of Oakes about his backe to keep his bodie streight lest he should bend and breake his backe I wish that our Countreymen had either Philetas lead vnder their shooes to stay in England or Cinesias corke vnder their backs to hold vpright their backs in England for all men see that they goe not about to find out their faults or to chide with themselues with Cleanthes for their fault Neither wil they heare the speech of Augustus audite me senem iuuenes But they are euer laughing for their own wits wisdome with Democritus in finding out their own destruction and euer weeping with Heraclitus for their folly when they bring these to destruction Archimedes after long studie if he had found in any hard or difficult conclusion to satisfie his mind he would for very ioy cry out in Greeke 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I found I found Many doe studie how to find meanes not as Archimedes to inuent Engines to feare the Romanes from Syracusa the citie where he dwelt but like Dinocrates who mused how hee might bring mount Atho to the forme and figure of a man to please their great Alexander Some such there be that studie how to bring great mountaines and hie hilles as low as mould hilles but they so worke vnder ground that the ground falles vpon them It is written that Tho Aquinas was at dinner at Paris with Philip the Frence king musing long with silence suddenly he so stroke the Table with his hand and said ego vici ego vici the king asked him what he ment Aquinas answered and said an argument to ouerthrow the Maniches I would they should be so occupied to ouerthrow heresies heretickes but their heads are fraughted with greater things to ouerthrow Kings and kingdomes This Aquinas being a young boy in schoole was called of his schoole fellowes bos mutus ye sayd his schoolemaster when this dumbe oxe begins to lowe totum 〈◊〉 suo boatu replebit Such diuelish scholemasters haue bin and I doubt are in great Britan that brought vp many such dumb oxen as Aquinas was to bring vp their children not for their countrey Such a schoolemasters was Apion in Alexandria that moued sedition among the Greekes and the Iewes And in Phaliscu another schoolemaster that brought all the noble mens children being his schollers to Camillus the Romane Consul that then besieged Phalisius And such schoolemasters had we I pray God wee haue not that bring vp their schollers for Rome for Spaine and not for great Britane in caues and coniholes as conicatchers not onely vnder ground but on the ground It was an exercise in Rome among the sword plaiers called exercitium laqueatorū and after much vsed in war in Finelan and in many places of the North these souldiers were called laquearij milites because they vsed stratagems with ropes halters in throwing them vp to the wals and forts of the enemies Such souldiers were the Spaniards with their halters and ropes marching towards England to hang vs in England our owne natiue countrey such were the Massacres of Paris that slue and kild the chiefe men of Fraunce and such souldiers doe daily come from Rome to Great Britane to
the Iewes Of such Emperours Claudius Iester was woont to to say often to his Maister that all the good Emperours of Rome might be written vpon a signet of a Ring and so of good Popes might be sayd as was of Pius Quintus when hee dyed Inter tot pontifices tantum quinque fuisse pios Another Schoole-master in Phaliscus that came to Camillus and so bragged that hee would and could bring the whole Citie vnto Camillus hand How said Camillus Behold all the Noble-mens Sonnes I yeeld to your hand and so shall they yeeld the Citie for their Children Many such braggers are and say as a certain Grecian did of his Countrey that the Hebrewes had but one wise man which was Salomon the Romans had but two wise men Cato and Laelius but we Grecians haue in Greece seuen Yea sayd another all the world knew Salomon to be wise all Rome knew Cato and Laelius to be wise but you Greeks make your selues wise yet all the world besides call you Children So Asoches a priest of Memphis spake vnto Solons face Semper pueriestis graeci Aristotle thought it strange that Socrates was iudged by the Oracle to be the wisest man in Greece sithence he studied no natural philosophy but morall Plato thought that he was so iudged for that Socrates said he knew nothing and sought not by his studie but to profite his countrey Greece And so it seemed by his verse taken out of Homer in euery place and in euerie companie by Socrates vsed aedibus in nostris quae recta aut prauagerantur for where families are well brought vp and Cities well gouerned there the Common wealth must needs flourish Socrates prooued wiser by his morall philosophy than Aristotle did by his naturall philosophie to trauaile and to studie for such naturall causes as he could neuer attaine vnto Quae supra nos nihil ad nos as in his booke De caelo mundo de anima hee much erred For he could neuer finde out the cause why the Riuer Euripus should flow 7 times and ebbe 7 times in one naturall day and yet for three daies in euerie moneth neither ebbed nor flowed for that he could not satisfie his mind in finding out the cause thereof threw himselfe headlong into the Riuer Euripus saying Quia te non capio tu me capies The like is written of Homer for that hee could not satisfie himselfe about a ridiculous probleme of Fishers obiected to him hee also died as Aristotle died But this seemeth rather a Fable than a true Historie if Gellius may beleeued better than Plinie For Aristotle at his death being requested by his Schollers and friends to knowe who should succeed him in his place in Athens he answered They should know streight so within a while hee called for a cup of Rhodian wine after hee had tasted it Truely sayd Aristotle this is a verie good sharpe wine and after a little time called for a cup of Lesbian wine and sayd both excellent good wines but the Lesbian wine is more pleasant than the Rhodian By this gentle meanes his Schollers knew that he preferred Theophrastus before Mâ—nedemus But it is neither Rhodian nor Lesbian wine vnlesse it be made of Romane grapes can delight a Papists tast for as the Idumeans claimed heritage of Religion from Abraham by succession so the papists would faine claime succession in religion from Peter they will haue none to prooue this but theÌ„selues But as Themistocles being asked whose Oration he would heare Euen him sayd Themistocles that can best set forth my praise and aduance my fame Yet Isocrates repeating an Oration of Demosthenes his Aduersarie at Rhodes they of Rhodes much delighting therein and much commending the Oration that Isocrates made though he was an enemie to Demosthenes was forced against his will to speake to the people O quid si illam belluam audissetis What if you had heard the beast himselfe pronouncing his owne Oration There was in Iudea a Riuer that vppon the Sabbath day did Intermittere cursum and was therefore called Sabbation for that the Riuer standeth still and mooueth not And there is a Lake among the Troglodites which in one day is three seuerall times bitter and three seuerall times sweet and so in one night thrise sweet and thrise bitter the philosophers being not able to finde out the cause thereof they named the Riuer Lacum insanum after they longe busied their braines in seeking the same more than Aiax in his furie beating blockes and bushes in seeking Vlisses Aratus and Eudoxus two great Astrologers boasted and wrote that they as Augustine sayth had the number of the Starres but God which made all the Stars said to Abraham aspice caeli stellas innumera eas looke vpon the starres and count them if you can Aristotle in his time doth report that the Mathematicians made of the whole Circuit of the earth but 40 Myriades of Furlongs which is but 50000 Miles but he that made the Earth said Quis mensus est terram who hath measured the earth There is nothing so strange nothing so absurd but some kinde of philosophers will defend it and maintaine it So two of the greatest philosophers in their time the one saith That a man might be borne naturally out of the earth So saith Auicenna Hominem posse produci naturaliter ex terra Auerrois held an opinion that a Mayd might conceiue without knowledge of man in a Bath the words are Sine viri commixtione in balneo And yet not more absurd in philosophie as the assertion of the papists in their Diuinitie of the presence of Christs naturall bodie But the papists which haue as many Gods as the Egiptians had they must haue as many Sphinxes in temples as the Egiptians to expound their Diuinity being obscure and darke and full of Oracles as the Egiptians were Euerie priest had in Queene Maries dayes in his own house such a Corinthian Sphinx as Cicero charged Hortensius to haue who fained that hee vnderstoode not Cicero pleading for his Client That is strange sayde Cicero that you vnderstand not my pleading hauing Corinthiacam sphingem These kinde of Sphinx were woont to tell prettie tales to priests in times past I meane HorteÌ„sius Sphinx fewe or none of the Cardinals but he hath his Corinthian Sphinx Sectio 6. ARtabanus King Xerxes Generall spake to Themistocles You Grecians aboue all things esteeme libertie and equalitie but to reuerence and adore our King as the Image of the God of Nature we Persians iudge farre better The Egiptians haue their heads and beards and dedicate the haires thereof to God Serapis at Memphis with sacrifice and supplications for their Kings and Gouernours The Macedonians vsed to weare the picture of Alexander about their necks as Iewels and on their fingers as Rings The Indians so honoured their Kings that once in the yeere
his house and knew not what to do requested their helpes and councell All his flatterers forsooke him sauing one Callias a true and faithfull friend of Alcibiades of whom Alcibiades would say Callias instar omnium Notwithstanding this Alcibiades could flatter his vncle Pericles yet being a young youth asked his vncle Pericles why he sighed so often and seemed so sad because said Pericles I must yeeld an accompt to the Athenians for much money which I receiued to build vp a porch to Mineruaes Temple Rather said Alcibiades muse how you may not giue an accompt and be merry and make much of your selfe Too few like Pericles that thinke how much they are indebted to God to build his Church and to maintaine his Seruice and too many like Alcibiades carelesse of the Church though they liue by the Church and haue honour and dignitie from the Church But let the Church be tossed on surging waues of seas that cannot be remoued yet shee standeth sure and certaine vpon a rocke though many Palinures were drowned and lay dead vpon the sands that had no great care neither to gouerne nor to be gouerned by the Church and yet they will sit in Moyses chaire Saul could dissemble with Dauid and Absalon with the people of Israel and the latter Iewes were such dissemblers and hypocrites that Christ called the Scribes and the Pharises hidden hypocrites and false dissemblers the Church were euer full of such hypocrites A Romane Gentleman told Alexader Seuerus that hee was agreeued to see his Court so pestered with dissemblers and hypocrites and said I will find out a place to dwell where no hypocrites be the Emperour said where wilt thou goe where no dissemblers be thou must goe beyond the Sauromates and the frosen seas and yet when thou commest thither thou shalt find hypocrites and dissemblers And though Achilles in Homer exclaimeth out against such dissemblers and say that he hateth them worse thē hel it selfe that haue two tongues the one in their mouth the other in their harts Qui aliud sentiunt aliud loquuntur This was sometime a naturall propertie to the Thracians to bee liars and dissemblers and so to bee taught with their hypocrisie and dissimulations that it grew to a prouerbe Thrasica fides so it was sayd of the Africans punica fides and of the Grecians most of all spoken Nunqnam ista natio saith Cicero coluit fidem People of no trust of no faith that it grew to a very scoffe to the Grecians Greca mercarifide to taunt their lightnes and dissimulations Of late we robde Thracians Affricans and Grecians of their properties that now Cicero may speak of vs as he spake of thē Quos fugiamus ignoramus quibus credamus nescimus and therefore it is good to follow Epicharmus counsaile Sis prudens memento diffidere sith we dare not trust our friends our kinsmen nor our countrimen This dangerous time seemeth to be that of which the Prophet saith that the father shal be against the sonne and the sonne against the father the brother against the brother but though this prophecie was performed in other kingdomes of long time past yet we ought to doubt feare some iustice at gods hand for our sinne and onely for our hypocrisie dissimulations and flatterie the three greatest Monsters vpon the earth Lewis the tenth was wont to bragge of his owne kingdome of France that it was a kingdome that far exceded al other kingdoms wanting but one thing And being requested to know what that was hee answered Truth And therefore Osymantes had his picture painted with his eyes shut with a tablet of gold about hanging about his necke with this word written thereupon veritas And hee willed that the Kings of Egypt his successors to weare that Tablet in memorie of him So did Antigonus doubting much to heare trueth among flattering Courtiers went with his Nobles to hunting from whom the King secretly departed changed his garments and wandred like a stranger among countrymen and lodged in a meane house and asked as an vnknowen man what was spoken of the King Of whom he heard Omnia quae fecerat mala The next morning the King being sought for and found they brought such princely garments as were fit for a King Giue said Antigonus these garments to him of whom Nisi hac nocte verum de me nunquam audiui Torquin the proud after he was put out of his kingdome would say that he neuer knew his friends while he was King in Rome Ma. Antonius surnamed the Philosopher was most carefull of his good name and fame willing the truth to be knowen by straungers report and not by such Courtiers which Constantine the Emperour cals Sorices Palatij the rats of the Court or as the Philosopher termes them vermes opum Many good Kings vsed the like meanes to auoid the one and to seeke out the other For Courts of Kings Princes cannot be without limping and halting In Meroe a Kingdome of India if the Kings were lame or halt or in any part of their bodies his Courtiers by the law in Meroe should be also lame and halt as the Kings did It is histored that in Macedonia in the time of Philip and in Neapolis in the time of Ferdinandus for that these two Kings held their necks a litle on the left side though it was a naturall defect in others yet in Princes followed and imitated and yet no longer then these Princes liued In the next King it is cleane altered for in the time of Alexander the great for that he had a bush of haire standing vp on his forehead the Courtiers in Macedonia left to holde their heads awry after Philip the father and followed the sonne Alexander euery Courtier imitating the time with great care and trauaile to make their haires stand vp vpon their foreheads like Alexander and to be called Opisthocomae as Alexander Hector and Pompei the great were noted to haue beene The Emperour Constantine practized a pollicie to find out sound Christians and faithfull seruants in his Court he fained a decree and commanded all the Christians to depart frō his Court cingula Militaria deponere The sound true Christians left the Emperour and his Court and forsooke their credit and militarie dignitie and esteemed not his Court in respect of Christianitie The other Christians which the Emperor found tantum nomine staied behind he banished and reuoked his decree and called backe the other and restored them to their former estate with greater credit saying Qui suo numini fidi non sunt nec mihi And so banished those counterfeit Christians This sentence squares well with our rebellious brutes and not Britanes who were neuer sound to God faithfull to their Prince nor true to their countrey but as Caligula wished to Rome so they wish to England and as Haman wished to the Iewes so they wished to the Britanes They wish with
Gods could not thinke well of Esculapius Image for that the Phisitians make gaine of mens goods and sell mens liues for mony which the Romanes most esteemed Some Images of Diuels appeare to these Firebrands of Hell to banish heretikes and heresies as they terme it out of great Britane Tho Aquinas an Arch-papist being sent for to come to Innocentius the thirde beholding diuers heapes of gould in the Popes gallerie and being amazed at the sight thereof the Pope sayd to Aquinas neither the primatiue Church of Rome neither Peter could shew so much gold when he said Aurum argentum non est mihi Then sayd Aquinas beatissime pater the Church of Rome at this time nor your Holinesse can say Surge ambula as Peter could Aquinas then should not haue wondred to see so much gold in the Popes gallerie sithence his tribute his pension his reuenewes by marchandize by any kind of sale Ignis thura coronae praeces caera coelum venale Romae as Mantuan saith They forgat what Peter their founder as they say sayd to Simon Magus that would haue bought of Peter that which the Popes of Rome sell to others namely the gifts of the holy Ghost Pereas cum pecunia tua They forgat also what Paul sayd to Elimas the sorcerer who would haue perswaded Sergius Paulus frō the faith of Paul O thou Sonne of the Diuell and enemie of mankinde behold the hand of the Lord is vpon thee and thou shalt be blinde for a season But these vents or sales of offices of Magistrates and of marchandize was euer as common in Rome as the sale of ecclesiasticall promotions Bishopricks and of the Popedome it selfe and being Popes made sale of Crownes and Kingdomes So Hildebrand that made himselfe a Pope and made Rodulphus an Emperour to whome hee sent a verie rich Diademe with this sentence written about it Petra dedit Petro Petrus diadema Rodolpho The pope lookes for pensions of all Kinges and specially of Christian Kings yea rather a tribute due vnto him per legem post liminij in great Britane The Turke would haue claymed a pension or tribute due vnto him of the Emperours of Germanie The Kinges of Persia vnder colour of pensions would haue their forces in many places of Asia but they were resisted And Philip of Macedon first by pension after by policie got Greece vnto Macedonia But it was by Paulus Ematius gotten from Macedonia to the Romanes These be stratagemes of forrein states one against another but this should not bee in the Bishops of Rome as they say of Peters successors they rather should do as Alphonsus King of Arragon being asked what hee left to himselfe saying that hee gaue all his wealth to his learned poore friends and to such godly men Euen that which I gaue said Alphonsus I leaue to my selfe in store Clemens the 5 a little before he died being in a great agonie sayd to his friends Now I shall know that of which I long doubted whether there were another life after this I would rather preferre Adrian the heathen Emperour before these two Christian Popes who in the like extasie spake to his soule trembling Tremula vagula quae nunc abibis in loca Now poore soule whether wilt thou goe wee are not to wonder at Adrian the Emperour so to say and doe when Pope Clemens so doubted and where his soule should goe And Zisca Imperator Hussitarum being mooued of his souldiers how he would be buried commaunded them to flay and take his skinne off him being dead and to giue his bodie to wilde beasts and to make of his skinne a militarie drumme that his enemies that feared his sight aliue might feare the sound of his skinne being dead This Emperours buriall was much like to resolute Pope Siluester who sought by oracles of diuers how long he should liue was answered Diu si cauer et Hierusalem if he kept from Ierusalem in Iudah yet hee happened to say a Masse vpon an Altar called Hierusalem confessed his fault and commaunded his bodie to be drawne by two horses and where the horses stayed there to be buried Many happen to die by chance whose cause is doubtfull vnknowne and hidden many die by infirmities whose causes are apparant many by age whose causes are present so doth an old writer set downe but some die neither by chaunce nor by infirmities nor by age but die for want of grace to liue longer that now if Theophrastus had liued hee would not haue accused nature for the short time of a mans life for that he sayd Men died when men began to be wise cum incipimus sapere morimur but now Theophrastus would haue sayd Men die before they begin to liue well These be like Phisitians who after they kill many in many Countreys yet are they free and at their libertie to goe euerie where without punishment These may laugh and sing at burials for their gaines when others weepe and mourne for their losses I remember a historie in Plinie that an Embassador came from Cypris to Rome his name was Exagon who among other monuments he saw the Consuls bring certain vessels full of Serpents Exagon thinking that the Romanes thought him to be fearefull willed the Consuls to throw him among those Serpents which so lickt and winded round about this Exagon that he came laughing from the Serpents to the Consuls This was a great terrour to the Romanes and yet was a stratageme that Haniball taught the Romanes and to all the Kings of Asia against the Romanes But the Romans like the Cappadocian who after the Viper bit him they looked as they did at Paul for the like when the Cappadocian would die but the Cappadocian liued and the Viper died such haps sometime happen But as I sayd of Romane Marcellus and Fabius so likewise I pray vnto God that there be not many such Exagons in great Britane that these Serpents and Vipers may licke and winde about them to the destruction of their Countrey These be not like Lazarus doggs that licked their Masters soares for loue but like Acteons dogges that deuoured their Maister Like Ioab that killed Abner embracing him in his armes And like Iudas the Traitor that kissed his Master and straight betrayed him There were neuer so many dumb dogs as now be biting not barking These be Lemures nocturni and alwayes conuersant with vs in our houses like Lares domestici that can and may deceiue vs because wee trust them are now become Tortuosi Serpentes which came after long lurking in their secret Labyrinths Per mille Maeandros to plague their Countrey But yet now they are much frighted with Ieroboam who doubting least the Kingdome of Israel shuld returne to the house of Dauid by meanes of the multitude of people which went to offer sacrifice at Ierusalem builded Rama◠and other stronge holds
Midas that whatsoeuer they tucht should be gold and therefore they shall for hunger with Midas starue They wish for blood and they shall be satisfied with blood in Britaine as King Cyrus was in Scithia or the Romane Consul Crassus was in Parthia From such people that so wished Elias wished to die vnder a Iuniper tree and among such people wished to know his friends from his foes So King Antigonus wished only to know his friends for his foes he would carefully looke vnto but the wish of a perfect Christian is set downe in the Lords Praier Thy kingdome come thy will be done yet we are commanded to aske to praise and to wish all good and godly things Simon wished to haue Christ in his armes and to embrace his Sauiour before he died Saint Augustine wished to haue seene Paul in his face and also wished to haue seene Christ in his bodie Beda wished to see Christ in his eternall and glorious bodie in heauen these wishes are to be wished Many haue Christ in their most wicked and blasphemous tongue by all kind of lies swearing and blaspheming of God So had Anam and his wife Saphira before Peter that denied the trueth Et mentiri spiritui sancto So had Iulian Apostata and confessed his impietie and wickednes by throwing out of his heart blood saying vicisâ—i o Galilee and after such vngodly sort too many throw their hearts blood and say Vincisti veritas And what is the end of these rebellious and treacherous wishes is it for gold and siluer is it for honour and dignitie is it for the whole world O foole said Christ to winne the whole world and to loose thy soule Of such fellowes saith Bernard O gens auara What is gold but rubea terra red earth What is siluer but terra allia white earth And yet wee esteeme of that vile thing which is below and but execrements of the earth more then any thing which is aboue the earth euen heauen Yea we make much of that which the Indians Ethiopians Pagans and Heathens esteeme as dirt For they vse neither Gemmes nor precious stones but onely in soccis calâ—eis and that in contempt of it For with the Ethiopians their maner was to bind their prisoners with chaines of gold their theeues with fetters of siluer But the Romanes would not be satisfied before they should haue all and notwitstanding in short time lost all The great Antiochus brought Hanniball to his Treasures and shewed Hanniball his Gold his Siluer his wealth and treasures and asked Hanniball if that would not please the Romanes yea said Hannibal it would please the Romans but not satisfie the Romans Rome was euer coÌ„pared to Sodome Gomorha for beastly inteÌ„perancie as Pope Sixtus the 4 who granted to vse in the three hot moneths Iune Iuly August sodomitrie Compared to Babilon and so called for her Idolatrie and Pride and for crueltie and greedinesse compared to Turkes and to Tyrants If the comparison of Rome with Sodome and Gomorrha with Babilon with Turkes and Tirants will not serue which most aptly agree with them I would also compare theÌ„ to Alexanders horse who feared not the persians phalanges the Camels of Asia not the Elephants of India and yet feared his own shadowe So the Romanes that feared not Asia Europe nor Affrica yet feared their owne shadowes at Rome A verie rich man borne in Lydia and dwelling in Phrygia hee willed his wife to prouide some great cheere for friends of his so his wife did She couered all places ouer with gold siluer Table Cupbords with all kind of golden vessels wherin for a while he delighted much but being huÌ„gry called for his meat shee layd vppon the table a painted dinner a banquet all maner of fowles of fish made on stone wood iuorie waxe and paimed the gold and siluer and garnished it with rich stones Pithius waxed angry with his wife and called for his meat His wife answered This is your meate husband that you feede night and day vpon I haue no meat for your friends but such as you feed on and with another taunt said That he could not liue long that fed on Midas table The like banquets made Heliogabalus of eight persons 8 bald-men 8 deafe meen 8 gowtie men 8 blacke Ethiopians 8 scoffers and 8 of the fattest and grossest And Heliogabalus commanded all these eights persons to bring him 1000 weight of cobwebs promising them to be well rewarded And being demaunded what to doe He answered Ex his colligi magnitudinem vrbis Romae These gathered and brought Heliogabalus 10000 weights to whom he made such a banquet for these Eights as Pytheus wife made for her husband Heliogabalus left these eights at their golden breakfast and tooke the eight that were burst with him ad balneum to bath themselues and when these eight had done bathing the Emperor commanded them to goe to breakfast with their fellowes and hee came himselfe sat with them and maruailed they could eat no meat I pray you come some other time when your stomackes serue you I see you can eat no meat and so let them goe And yet both these Feasts were farre better than the Arch-bishop of Mounse Hatto who in the time of great famine fained dissembled some almes reliefes to the poore and coÌ„manded they should be gathered together into a great barne vnder colour to bestowe his almes and relieue them and being shut in the barne commanded them to be all burned saying That these poore people were the Rats of the Countrey But this Arch-bishop was by Gods iust iudgment deuoured and eaten vp with Rats Mise this Archbishop forgat the plague of Pharo by frogs lice and flyes forgat the Isle of Cyclades plagued with Rats Sectio 8. THere bee certaine Iewes in the west parts of India called Essaâ—i which will eat no flesh drinke no wine nor vse the companie of any women There bee also certaine women in Scythia called Amazones which by the law of their Countrey men may not gouerne or dwell with them And yet such women did meet together in mount Quirinaâ— at Rome in the Court of Heliogabalus the Emperour who had Caenaculum Mulierum and where nothing was done but by women And such did meet sometime in the Court of Salomon in Hierusalem where was the Court of Pharoes daughter the Court of the Queen of the Moabites of the Queene of the Amonites of Edomites of Sydomites and so many Courts of Queenes in Hierusalem that there was no Court of Salomon These strange womeÌ„ did not only put Salomon king of Israel out of Israel but also the God of Israel and brought their idolatrous Gods vnto Israel with so many Altars to Idols in Hierusalem and Mount Oliuet that God reioyced to haue reserued yet in Israel 7000 that neuer bowed their knees to Ball. I would to God wee might