and Friend's Churchmen or such as can be Drunk and Swear and Tear and Damn their Souls to get into Office Iack. Why so uncharitable Will Don't you think that we take as much care of our Souls as you do of yours Will. I cannot tell whether you do or not but sure I am that those that swear Allegiance to King William with an Intention to betray him and take the Sacrament according to the Church of England that they may get into Places Military or Civil in order to support the Interest of a Popish Abdicated Prince seem to have no regard to the Welfare of their Souls and to have a very contemptuous Notion of Damnation especially seeing they imprecate it upon themselves every Day Iack. There 's a Lecture indeed you heard that out of some Tub last Sunday Will. Nay Iack thou and thy Party seem to be more conversant with Tubs and Barrels too than I for I seldom meet any of 'em but the Yeast of 'em is ready to run over their Beards but I would have you to know that there are better Churchmen than you or any of your Crew that will say more than I have said And now Iack seeing you have told me your Secrets with as much Vanity and hopes of succeeding in your design as Coleman had when he discovered the main of the Popish Plot to Sir Edmundbury Godfrey out of a Vain-glorious Bravado I will tell you that our Friends are not so short sighted as you imagine they know your Designs well enough and have it in their power to prevent 'em You are mistaken if you think that they who have giv'n such Sums to prevent the Invasions of the French to join your Cutthroat Crew will leave the Kingdom defenseless tho there be no Standing Army allow'd those Gentlemen are able to satisfy the King that he may have a Force ready at Command for the Defence of the Nation compos'd of the best of the Disciplin'd Troops and the Militia besides all Honest Men who won't grudg to be Volunteers in so good a Cause and the very Countenance of such will make your Party and their Supporter betake themselves to their Heels again secundum usum Sarum Iack. That 's pleasant How can you have any of the Disciplin'd Troops when you once Cashier them They will be so disgusted that they will scorn to serve you any more Will. Ay Iack so you say but don't you think that those of 'em that are honest and fought out of a Principle of Love to their Religion and Country will do the same again upon occasion And such of 'em as have not wherewith to maintain themselves don't you think the Wisdom of the Nation able to provide for them either by imploying them in Manufactures or having them Listed as Militia Men And for your Iacobite Dammee Scum it will be a good riddance to the Nation to have the Army purg'd of them and of such Mercenary Fellows as you talk of that are unwilling to be Disbanded when there 's no occasion for them and I hope you will find there are Honest Williamite Officers in great numbers in the Army that are Men of Estates and glad to have the opportunity of laying down their Arms for the Ease of their Country and will as chearfully take them up again for the Defence of it when there 's need and if there be not enough of them in this Nation there 's no reason to doubt of having enough from the other two You see the Scots have been prodigal enough of their blood to assist us and that the Protestants in Ireland wrought Wonders against your Brethren the French and Irish before they had the Army of your Church sent under the Conduct of Kirk to assist them and a sorry Assistance they had till Duke Schomberg and His Majesty went over Iack. Well well I hope we shall have a fair Trial of Skill for it some time or other and then we shall see how bravely your Militia and New-modell'd Army will perform Will. Why truly Iack I believe the Militia will do no great Feats as at present Modelled no more than those Regiments of the Standing Army that were raised by K. Iames to withstand the Prince of Orange can be supposed to do and therefore you may assure your self that our Friends will take care to have the Militia Officers well sifted and all the Iacobite Chaff purg'd out before ever they expect any Service from theâ—â—â—â—nd there 's no doubt but the like Method will be taken with the Fleet And Friend Iack I must needs be plain with you if your Friends had not been too precipitant in getting some of the best Regiments we had Cashiered first your Army might in all probability have remain'd some time longer at least without being questioned But our Friends perceiving that the Regiments raised in this King's time were Disbanded first and the old Arbitrary Tools rais'd in the late Reigns kept up they could not but think that there was a Snake in the Grass and therefore resolv'd to send all a going except what was necessary to be kept up for the Honour of the Government So that whatever your Party may fancy they will certainly lose very much by the Dissolution of the present Army for had they continued on foot they or a great part of them at least which might have been ready to have assisted you upon a French Invasion or have animated a certain Party you know who to cut off the King whilst they had such Tools in readiness to overturn all that he had been doing towards the securing of our Religion and Property since the Revolution and to have brought the Whigs under the Lash again but now you are like to be disappointed Iack. Have you so little Honour in you as to think that the Army which has defended you so bravely abroad would ever enslave you at home Will. Truly Iack I must be plain with you the defence we have made abroad is as much owing to the King's Conduct in disappointing and baffling the Designs of the French by observing their Motions and counteracting them as was visible in that Glorious March which sav'd Brussels and most of the Spanish Netherlands as to the Valour of the Army tho to give them their due most of 'em fought it gallantly when they had opportunity But I must tell you further That it 's safer to trust them abroad than at home there they were oblig'd in Honour to fight because they were join'd with other Nations that would nor was it safe for them to fly in a Country where they were not over-well beloved neither had they the Pestilent Iacks and Passive-Obedience-Men there to perswade them that they were fighting against the Interest of the Church as they have here Iack. I perceive the Church is a mighty Eyesore to you you discover your self plainly now to be no true Churchman whatever you have pretended all along Will. That 's like one of thy Iacobite
Slanders the World knows I am a true Churchman tho I ne'er could think fit to be in the Interests of that Church that would needs have the Civil and Military Power entrusted only in the Hands of such Fellows as cut the Earl of Essex's Throat murder'd the Lord Russell Coll. Sidney Alderman Cornish c. who can never be enough lamented And to be yet plainer with you I never was of that Church that was for surrendring all the Charters of our Corporations and exalting the Prerogative above Law nor of that Church which oppos'd King William's coming to the Crown as being contrary to the Divine Right of Lineal Succession The very Turks have a better Notion of Humane Liberty than that comes to as is clear by their Dethroning of one of their Sultans lately and setting up another in his place whom they thought more fit to govern Whereas the Church you talk of would serve us as the Danish Stories tells us they have been sometimes serv'd viz. have the Off-spring of Vrsus a Bear half Man and half Beast set up to reign over them and those of Norway had a Dog appointed to be their Governour To the same degree of Slavery would the Doctrine of Passive Obedience have brought us as preach'd up in the late Reigns viz. That it was not lawful to take up Arms against the King or those Commission'd by him upon no account whatsoever and if your Church had believed that Doctrine her self she ought not to have resisted K. Iames if he had sent Dogs instead of Popish Priests to govern your Colleges and Consciences and to be your Justices of Peace and other Magistrates Thus Iack I think it is apparently not the Interest of this Nation to have a Standing Army continued in it mostly compos'd of such Men as tho they know not what Religion means yet at the Instigation of your Church might be influenc'd to overturn all that His Majesty hath done since the Commencement of His Glorious Reign in case of His Death Iack. Don't trouble your self Will we shall have no occasion for your Standing Army K. Iames has 20000 English Scotch and Irish in pay in France who will embark at a convenient opportunity and seize yours and all other Confederate Ships in the French Ports to assist to transport them without putting his Brother of France to the srouble of laying an Embargo upon them And tho your Managers of Sea Affairs at least some of 'em have generally betray'd you yet I 'll warrant you there will be sufficient care that you shall not have the same advantage of us besides we may have such a Wind as may keep your Fleet in Port while ours shall do your Business and then a Fig for you We shall all be likewise ready to join him and it will not be in your power to oppose us without a Standing Army Will. Nay now Iack I perceive thou art a Warrior as well as a Statesman But how do you think your Fleet can escape our Squadrons when posted so as some of them must needs fall in with your small Craft at least Iack. Don't you take care of that tho we have not a N. M. among the Ministers of State we have a P. N. in the Admiralty we know all the Stations of your Squadrons and shall find means either to bribe your Commodores or if that will not do to find some how or other that your Squadrons shall want Orders or Provisions or mix some poisonous Drug amongst your Beef or Water Such things you know have been talked of and what has been may be Will. But do you suppose Iack that now His Majesty has time to enquire into the Abuses that have crept into the Administration you can so easily play those Tricks as formerly What if there should be a strict Enquiry made by the Parliament into all the Tricks put upon the Government since the Revolution and some of your Party should be Hang'd for them Don't you think that will put a stop to your further Adventures Iack And don't you know Will that whenever you began to make such an Enquiry we have had Interest enough if not otherways yet by our Money to put a stop to it and to get the Enquirers sent a packing Tho we have not so many Wiles as the Fox in the Fable yet we have one never-failing one with the Cat and that is whenever the Curs begin to bark we either secure our selves in the Steeple or Iupiter's Lap or both perhaps at the same time Will. I understand your Cant Iack you mean that you accuse the Enquirers of having a design against the Church and State and so provide for the Escape of the Guilty But what if our Friends who have had notice often enough of this Intrigue of yours should now spoil it Iack. Let 'em if they can I believe it is not in their power Will. Nay be not too confident Iack I have read of a Fox that when close hunted us'd to catch hold of a Bush with his Teeth and throw himself over a Rock so that the Dogs that pursued him endangered the breaking of their own Necks and miss'd their aim but this being perceiv'd at last the Bush was cut up and the Fox when he thought to have recourse to it as formerly broke his Neck Iack. Pray make the Application Will Do you intend then to cut up the Church and State Will. Not so Iack but to cut up your false Pretensions of Zeal for them when at the same time you are sapping their very Foundations and this our Friends may easily do by publishing a Declaration of your Knavish Designs in making use of that false Pretext Iack. Nay indeed Will if they should do so it might do us a Mischief but I hope we have more Friends amongst you than to suffer it to come to that Issue Will. You may flatter your self as you will yet the Nation has so much respect for the King that they will never suffer you nor your Friends beyond Sea to effect that in time of Peace that you were not able to do in time of War King William has the Hearts Hands and Purses of all true Englishmen at his Command and tho it may not perhaps be thought fit either for his nor the Nation 's Interest which are inseparable to have a Standing Army continued upon the present footing yet there 's no doubt but such Methods will be taken as shall sufficiently make up that For a King of England who stands so well in the Affections of His Subjects as His present Majesty does can never be suppos'd to want a Standing Army when the Commons of England are resolv'd to stand by him with their Lives and Fortunes 'T is certain the Immortal Queen Elizabeth reckoned her self safer in the Hearts and Affections of her good People than the present Fr. K. can pretend to be with hundreds of Thousands of Mercenary Fellows who are always ready to fight for those that give
A SECOND DIALOGUE BETWIXT Iack and Will ABOUT A Standing Army Iack. HOW d' ye Friend Will Tho you and I could not agree about the Lord Mayor's carrying the Sword to Meetings yet I hope we 're agreed against a Standing Army Will. I perceive Iack your Stars have condemn'd your Party to be perpetual Blockheads all the World knows that I was ever for a Standing Army Iack. Nay then I 'll be Hang'd I 'm sure I have heard you exclaim against K. Iames for his Standing Army Will. Why thou poor Fool I never knew any he had his was a Running Army witness the plaguy Race they took betwixt Salisbury and London Iack. A Plague on you you 'll never leave your Banter you know well enough what I mean by a Standing Army that is to say A Standing Army in time of Peace Will. I know that well enough Iack for none of your Armies durst ever stand in time of War Iack. Pox take ye why should I trouble my self to talk to such a Merry Andrew Answer to the purpose I know you are against a Standing Army in time of Peace Will. Why truly Iack your Armies never stood neither in time of Peace nor War and seeing one Instance won't satisfy you I 'll give you another Pray tell me how bravely they stood to it at the Boyne and other places in Ireland And for their standing in time of Peace I 'm sure 't is as false as the other for they run from one Henroost to another all over the Kingdom If they made a Stand any where 't was under Ioan's Petticoat and not so generous a Stand neither as that which the Persians made when their Wives and Mothers took up their Coats and ask'd them when flying before their Foes as Iustin tells us Whether they would hide themselves there By which they were so much asham'd that they turn'd back and routed their Enemies Iack. Leave off your Roguery Will I doubt for the latter part on 't your own Army is not much better Will. And that 's one reason Iack why I think they ought to be Disbanded For considering how poor the Nation is made by the War every Man has enough to do to keep Children of his own getting tho he keep none of other Mens and to say the truth on 't the mixture of your Army was enough to spoil ours in all respects both for Running o th' Reins and Running from their Enemies and I am afraid that upon due Enquiry it will be found that 't was some of your sort that began the Race at Steenkirk and Landen Iack. Hold hold Will not so fast Who was it that run at Flerus and Gillicranky I hope you won't say that the Dutch and the Presbyterian Scots are Iacobites Will. Nay now Iack thou beginst to speak something like but I 'll tell you tho for an Answer what I have heard that 't was the Dutch Horse which because they were never well train'd could not endure the Fire at Flerus but it must be own'd their Foot stood bravely and came off with Honour And for Gillicranky Iack let me tell you the Racers there were Men of your own Kidney a Company of Iacobites under a Williamite Mask betray'd the King's Army and yet at last Iack the new rais'd Presbyterian Scots kept the Field and kill'd your Dundee who next to your brave Iames was Magna spes altera Romae and now Iack I think I owe you nothing Iack. Well well then I hope you 'll be serious seeing you think you have so much the advantage but I am sure it 's for our Interest to have the Army Disbanded and therein I think our Friends have for once outwitted ye in making you to believe that they join'd with you for the ease of the Country but by my Faith you will find it to be otherwise we did it to ease our selves of the double Taxes which must fall speedily now the Army must be Disbanded and besides we shall be at more liberty to rise and join the French who a Twelvemonth hence when the Army is intirely scattered will have a brave opportunity of Landing to assist us Will. Say'st so Iack Your Party are oblig'd to you for keeping their Secrets so faithfully I thought the Cods-heads fed themselves with some such foolish hopes they did so sneer and laugh upon the News that no Standing Army was like to be allowed But stay Iack don't ye think that those who have from time to time given such vast Sums to carry on the War and have taken such care to secure the present Government will also take care to secure the Nation against a future War and prevent our being robb'd of the Fruits of the so much long'd for Peace Iack. And don't you think but our Friends who concur with you in getting the Army Disbanded will find some means or other to obstruct such Methods as shall be proposed for that which you call an Equivalent or better Security Will. Nay truly Iack I must own you are Statesmen and have been more cunning in embroiling our Affairs than at advancing your own And is that the reason then of your pretending to fall in with those that are against a Standing Army meerly to rob us of the Defence we have and obstruct our providing another Iack. Yes Faith it is and at the same time our Party in all Companies where they may do it with safety speak up for a Commonwealth not that we are really for one but to render your Party suspected of carrying on such a Design that so we may dash you and the Court against one another and then we hope to have a brave time of fishing in troubled Waters Will. In Conscience Iack I believe that at last you will turn refin'd Politicians Iack. You will say so when you know all By this Method we shall likewise make those who compose the present Army Enemies to you and the Court too to you for pressing their being Disbanded and to the Court for suffering it Will. Finer and finer Iack I believe these fine Threds are spun in the Cabinet Council beyond-Sea Iack. Then as to the Church we will ruin your Interest with them for you know they hate a Common-wealth because that sort of Government does always clip the Wings of the Clergy and we will give it out seeing we cannot have the King we would have that we will join with those that are for none at all Will. You 're a parcel of rare Fellows upon my word but pray what Methods will you take to hinder our Friends from providing a Security Equivalent to if not better than that of a Standing Army Iack. Why that may be easily done for you propose a Regulation of the Militia and we will take care by the Interest of the Church to prevent your having it put into the Hands of any but stanch Church-men Will. What do you mean by stanch Churchmen The Passive Obedience Crew that would cut His Majesty's Throat Perkins