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A35890
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A Dialogue between Sophronius and Philobelgus the second part.
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1692
(1692)
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Wing D1325; ESTC R6338
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14,364
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12
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A DIALOGUE between Sophronius and Philobelgus The Second PART Phil. WEll met Sophronius Where have you been lurking these â—wo long Years and upwards Soph. I have been to take care of my Concerns in Vtopia and as it happened â—o transfer my Effects from thence Phil. When I last parted with you I â—emember you raised a Discourse concerning that Place which hath run in my Head ever since and made me extremely desirous to see you again Soph. Then I hope you have considered of that Discourse as I desired you Phil. Considered say you I think it is high time for us all to consider if it be not too late to consider Things are here at a strange pass I wish I could say not in a desperate condition But pray what made you leave Vtopia at this time I have heard that place highly commended Soph. Indeed I have known the time I could have commended it as much as any Man the Soil pleasant and fruitfull the People just hospitable and generous the Courts of Judicature honourable for Justice and nothing wanting to make Life comfortable But now all things are turned topsy turvy and it 's nothing like the place it was Phil. Why Pray what 's the Matter Sure they can never be so mad in any other place as with us Soph. How Matters are with you I yet know not but some years since none there would have thought such a Change possible The very Earth seems to mourn there is neither Truth nor Honesty amongst the Inhabitants no Promises or Oaths can bind them you go in most danger from your bosome Friend all Persons are jealous of each other and the greatest part with all their Might and Main are pulling Destruction on their own and all others Heads and are fond of it and which seems to make the Matter remediless a shameless Vsurper and Foreigner is made their King who hates them and can never be safe but in their Ruine or Slavery at least Phil. This is bad indeed but I warrant you think you have mended the matter with coming over hither Soph. I hope so for certainly a Man cannot find out a worse place than that is now Phil. I will not be your Security for that I rather fear that by that time you have been here some while you will think you have leap'd out of the Frying-pan into the Fire Soph. God forbid But pray Sir inform me a little how Matters go with you here Phil. That is needless for a little Conversation will soon inform you of the state of our Affairs better than any Relation can do But in the mean time let me advise you to keep a close pair of Chops not to trust either your Father or your Child look well to your hits and in a short time you will see Reason for this Advice and a great deal more Soph. God defend me What a mad World is this when a Man knows not where to go to live safely or honestly But good Sir explain for I am all on fire to know what new World I am come into though it be my own Countrey Phil. No no you will hear and see it every day you may learn it from every Fool but beware of Information from a Knave Besides the Story you were telling of Vtopia hath been hitherto so like it that I begin to grow suspitious that the Progress of your Tale will prevent me and every body else Soph. But you ought to be so civil to a Stranger as to grant his Request in the first place Phil. I am not uncivil nor would you be pleased that I should grant it for you know it is the Prerogative of Travellers to have all the Talk and the Curiosity of others makes them impatient till they are gratified with the Stories of their foreign Observations therefore in short I am resolved I will have it out of you But since in your former Discourse you told me much of the Revolutions in Vtopia which seemed to you to be as impious and unjust as they were strange and wonderfull before you proceed I would intreat you to discover what you can the Springs and Causes of that Revolution Soph. Well since you are resolved I think it will be most for my Ease to satisfie you as speedily as I can But you put a hard task upon me for the Cause of such a prodigious turn of Affairs lay deep under Ground and there are many which Time hath not yet brought to light Phil. Do not think I would put such an unconscionable Task upon you as to require more than you know or can with fair probability conjecture Soph. Well since you are become pretty reasonable take what Account I can give you thus Benignus King of Vtopia was well beloved by his People except it were by a brood of Republicans who of late much infest that Kingdom and love no Kings and indeed he was a Man of admirable Parts vast Experience but given to his Ease and by all means avoided the Fatigue of Business though no Man did it better nor more dexterously when he would look towards it But he dying suddenly and without any legitimate Issue left all his Dominions to his Brother Constantius There never were a pair of more loving Brothers though of strangely different Tempers for Constantius as much gave his mind to Business as his Brother had done to decline it a better husband with the Revenues never sat upon the Throne a Lover of Justice punctual to his Word ambitious to advance the Honour and Interest of his Kingdoms and in short a Prince endowed with all Royal Qualifications and seemed born for Government so that for some time all Persons were as big with Expectations from him as from any Person who ever came to the Crown Phil. You amaze me How could such a Prince miscarry Soph. One would not think it could be easily but they have a Saying in Vtopia That one Drachin of Colloquintida spoils the whole Pot of Pottage There had been in his Father's time the most unnatural Rebellion that ever the world knew wherein the best of Kings was barbarously murthered by his own Subjects and Constantius then very young to preserve his Life was conveyed into a neighbouring Kingdom where of course and unavoidably he was instructed and brought up in the Religion of that Nation which was irreconcilable with the Religion established in Vtopia and indeed hatefull to the generality of all Persons in all the Dominions belonging to it but being early imbibed and having taken root with time he was as tender of his Conscience as jealous of his Honor and when he came to to the Throne would not change his Religion though so hatefull to his People Phil. What then So far as I can gather by the circumstances of your Story though that was his Misfortune yet it was his Peoples Fault and could it seem reasonable to depose him for his Conscience and their own Crime Soph. I am glad to hear you talk
a sort of Men of whom you would think that Butter would not melt in their Mouths and yet Cheese will not choak them these crowded in among the Escopaeans when restored and having possessed themselves of Places of Trust and the best Preferments they kept a watchfull Eye over all the loyal Escopaeans to keep them at an under and those that were above them they deluded by their dissembling Arts till by letting in only Men of their own Way and debauching the Understandings of others they had in a manner corrupted the whole Vtopian Church and these and their whole Gang even when they might have stemm'd the Tide in the plain field forsook their King and all the loyal Escopaean Principles and presently declared for the Worship of the rising Sun and now having got all into their hands they impudently in their Pulpits preach away God's Commandments and bespatter and persecute every thing that is good or honest Phil. Shameless Villains May divine Vengeance overtake them But yet you do not tell me the Fall of that unfortunate Prince Soph. I am just now come to that dismal Scene which would make even an Heart of Stone to ake that had any Remains of Honesty or Pity in it Whilst the Nation through the Miscarriages of some and the Wickedness of others was thus working into the highest Ferment so that nothing moderate could be expected Philotimus was not idle but plied his opportunity with all advantage and with him combine vast numbers even of the most considerable Persons in the Kingdom who were either enraged with Discontents and Disappointments or possessed with Jealousies and Fears so that Philotimus was got into the very Councils of Constantius The most powerful Officers of his own Army than which none were ever paid better nor more kindly used were in the Plot against him and those whom he had raised from nothing to great Dignities those whom he took to be his fastest Friends those who protested promised vowed and made shew of the greatest Fidelity to him were at that very time contriving and impatient to betray him As soon as things were brought to this pass Philotimus takes the Nick of Time and being assisted by the faithless Gallimaufrians with a large Fleet and some Land-forces on Board sets sail for Vtopia Phil. But had Constantius no Fleet to oppose them Soph. Yes a sufficient one to have made the young Spark dearly repent his Attempt if the Men had behaved themselves like true Vtopians but partly by Miscarriage partly by a Conspiracy of the Officers against the Admiral who was honest to throw him over-board if he offered to sight nothing was done so that Philotimus safely landed in the occidental parts of Vtopia but with such a parâ—el or Tatterdemallions such Foot as were sitter to make Scare-crows for Gardiners than Soldiers for a Prince and such Horse as were not much better than Vtopian Asses so that Constantius's own Guard were able to have trampled them to death without ever drawing Sword and the Inhabitants of any Comt i.e. a division much answerable to your Shires in Vtopia might have knockt them o' th Head with Stones Phil. God forgive me You represent this Philotimus as a kind of a fool-hardy Fellow What! Had not Constantius enough to quell these Soph. Yes and those who would have done it presently if he could have known honest Men and Knaves asunder and not trusted most to the most faithless But you mistake the Matter as I am apt to think that as things then were and Matters were then managed if he had not brought over with him an hundred Men it had been the same thing for with the first opportunity most of the great Officers of Constantius's Army go over to Philotimus and carry with them as good Forces as any the World had till being in a manner quite forsaken he was forced to retire to his Metropolitical City but finding there no Succour he first sent away his Queen and the young Prince and after a small time being throughly assured by his own and his Ambassadour's ill Usage and the rough Treatment of all his Friends that no less than the Crown would satisfie his good Son-in-law notwithstanding all his false Protestations and Declarations to the contrary he endeavoured to convey himself away as being sensible that they would not long endure him to live to their Reproach whom they had deprived of all things but Life Phil. He that usurps a King's Throne is obliged to take away his Life to secure his own which can never be safe whilst the lawfull Prince survives to whom some time or other the Hearts of the Subjects most certainly return But is it possible that he got out of their hands Soph. He did at last but after so many Difficulties Dangers and ill Usage that I look upon his Escape as little less than miraculous and a good Presage of his Return Phil. Pray how was it Soph. In short thus His first Attempt was frustrated he being taken at Sea by his own Subjects and brought back a Prisoner on shoar to a Port called Febrivill where the rude Seamen were his Guards puffing stinking Tobacco in his Face which he extremely hated And the coming in of the Gentry did not much mend the Matter for they rather encouraged than checked their Incivilities especially two of the Equestrian Order Bovinian and Benedict the one a proud stately political Coxcomb who over-ruled and ordered all things the other a busie active Tool made use of to abuse the King in all things and whilst these gave him up to his Enemies and suffered not his Friends to come at him it wanted but little that his Brains were not knock'd out But being relieved out the hands of these Rascallionee he returned to his Metropolis where being received with all joy and kindness imaginable it so allarmed Philotimus that he forbad his stay there so retiring to a small City under a Guard of Gallimaufrians before a cleanly Contrivance to take away his Life could be invented by the help of two Friends he made a very dangerous and yet fortunate Escape into the Country of Magnanimus where he his Queen and his Son were kindly received and there they were when I came from Vtopia One thing there is which ought not to be forgotten under all these Troubles and barbarous Indignities such was the admirable Patience and Evenness of Temper of the forsaken Constantius that you cannot believe it unless your Eyes had seen and your Ears heard it Phil. Who would much value any thing in this World when he sees so great a Prince so quickly and easily reduced to Nothing Soph. I forgot to tell you the horrid palpable Lies which helped forward this great turn of Affairs and indeed I am ashamed to repeat them As how the young Prince was confidently reported notwithstanding never any Child's Birth was more clearly proved to be an Impostor and that Philotimus had brought the true Mother along with him how