Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	answer_v	speak_v	word_n	767	5	3.9356	3	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
B03557	The sacred diary: Or, select meditations for every part of the day, and the employments thereof: With directions to persons of all ranks, for the holy spending every ordinary day of the Week. Propounded as means to facilitate a pious life, and for the spiritual improvement of every Christian.	Gearing, William.	1679 (1679)	Wing G438; ESTC R177551	109,549	305

So Elihu saith That he was careful to do Thus he speaks to Job and his three Friends Behold I waited for your Words I gave ear to your Reasons whilst you searched out what to say c. Job 32.11 Indeed that is the way to get Wisdom to hear much and speak little He that hears much shall learn much he that talks much shall learn little If you desire to speak much Seneca saith you should do it by a Soliloquy Minimum cum aliis loqui plurimum vobiscum Speak little to others most to your selves It is the same the Apostle teacheth us We should be swift to hear slow to speak James 1.19 Yea we should be twice as swift to hear as to speak because Nature hath given us but one Organ to speak with two to hear with SECT XXXV A Meditation on the Miseries of this Life IT is good for a Christian every Day to Meditate seriously on the Miseries of this Life And here 1. Consider of the shortness of it Job saith Man's days are determined the number of his Months are with God and that he hath appointed his Bounds that he cannot pass Job 14.5 The days of our Years are threescore and ten And if by reason of Strength they be fourscore Years yet is their strength Labour and Sorrow for it is soon cut off and we flie away And hereof you cannot well reckon the time of your Infancy for any part of your Life for in that Age there is nothing either learnt or done that may well beseem the Dignity of a Man And as touching the time that is spent in Sleep I see not how that can well be called the time of Life seeing the principal part of our Life is to have the use of our Senses and Reason which then are as it were suspended in us and dead Therefore a Philosopher said that in the half of Man's Life there is no difference between the happy Man and unhappy for as much as during the time of Sleep all Men are equal because they then be as if they were dead For this cause a certain Poet termeth Sleep the Cousin-germane of Death And another called it the Brother of Death yea Death's Elder Brother For there is a near resemblance between the one and the other Multitudes of People do sleep the third part of the Day and Night which is eight whole Hours and some more whence it followeth that a third part of our Lives is consumed in sleep and so consequently that during that time we do not live That Philosopher had good reason to do as he did who being demanded what he thought of the Life of Man turn'd himself about before them that made the Demand and suddenly departed out of their sight giving them thereby to understand that our Life is very short and but as it were a turn-about And in a very short time after a Man's Death the very remembrance of him perisheth Some of the Ancients call Man's Life a Dream yea the dream of a Shadow But compare this small remnant of Life we live here with the Life to come and how little will it appear What is this Momentany Life compared with Life Everlasting but as it were a drop of Water compared with the whole Ocean If a thousand Years in the sight of God be no more but as it were Yesterday which is now past and gone what shall the Life of seventy or eighty Years seem to be but only a very nothing compared to Eternity Christian Reader Think then with thy self every Day what greater Folly and Madness can be imagined than that Men and Women for the enjoying of this short dream of such vain Delights and Pleasures should plunge themselves into everlasting Torments and what sottishness hath possessed Men that they should take so much Labour and Pains to provide so many things for so short a Life and not to make any provision at all for their Souls which shall live for ever II. Meditate also of the uncertainty of your Life As our Life is very short so it is also uncertain Eccles 9.12 Man knoweth not his time As the Fishes that are taken in an evil Net and as the Birds that are caught in the Snare so are the Sons of Men snared in an evil time when it falleth suddenly upon them How often are Men surprized with sudden Changes as Birds in a Snare and Fishes in a Net Watch ye therefore and be always in readiness because ye know not the Hour when the Son of Man cometh because ye know not the Year be therefore always in readiness every Year And because ye know not the Month watch every Month and because ye know not the Hour watch every Hour I will give you a Comparison brought to my Hand by a Devout Man Suppose there were set before thee upon a Table thirty or 40 several Dishes of Meat and thou wert told by a special Friend that there was Poyson in one of them thou wouldest scarce adventure to eat of any one of them although thou wert much an hungred for fear peradventure lest thou shouldst light upon the Dish that was Poysoned Now perhaps thou mayst think that thou shalt live thirty or forty Years Well then If it be certain that in one of these Years thou shalt die and thou knowest not in which of them why art thou not then afraid in every one of them and dost not every Year yea every Day make preparation for Death Why do Souldiers keep a continual Watch in the Castle that standeth in the Frontiers upon an Enemies Country Is it for any other cause but only for that they know not when the Enemies will come to Assault it Surely for none other Oh then seeing you know not at what hour Death will assault you you had always need to be Watchful thy Soul is of greater value than all the Castles and Kingdoms of the World and thou hast greater Enemies that do endeavour Day and Night continually to assault it and thou art altogether ignorant of the Day and Hour of thine Assault and the whole matter of the Salvation or Damnation of thy Soul consisteth in this Point whether thou be taken provided or unprovided in that dreadful Hour III. Consider the frailty and brittleness of Man's Life no Glass is so subject to knocks and breaking as the Life of Man Some lose their Life by the vehement heat of the Sun the Eyes of some are able to bereave others of their Life Some die by drinking a draught of cold Drink in a Sweat or by Surfeiting at a Supper Some die of excessive Pleasure or Grief Some seem to go well to Bed and there are found dead in the Morning We may not wonder how soon Men end their Lives as how they endure so long the Workmanship of their Bodies being so tender and the Matter and Stuff whereof they be compounded so frail and weak God bids the Prophet cry All flesh is Grass and all the glory thereof

at whatsoever it pleaseth to dislike with some scurrilous Frump Let all therefore but especially those that seem to be Religious take special care every Day to the well governing of their Tongues to bridle their Tongues A Bridle hath a Rein belonging to it and a Bit the Rein to give Liberty the Bit to Check in Thus learn ye to do by your Tongues you must learn when to give them the Rein when the Bit when to let them loose when to restrain them Solomon saith There is a time to Speak and a time to keep Silence To this purpose there are divers Circumstances which are carefully to be observed of us both in our keeping Silence and in our Speaking We must consider The Persons to whom we speak The Matter what we speak The Manner how we speak The End why we speak The Place where we speak The Time when we speak 1. The Persons are to be considered to whom ye speak for you must not speak every thing to every Body To some it were a folly to do it to some it were dangerous to do it it were like Hezekiah's opening his Treasures to his Enemy which was little better in effect than the betraying of his Kingdom Observe the Condition and Quality of the Person and accordingly learn to speak or to be silent 2. Observe the Matter that ye speak of for according to that ye should speak more freely or more sparingly My Heart is inditing a good Matter saith David and my Tongue shall be the Pen of a ready Writer If it be a good Matter that we are to speak of we may let go the Rein of the Bridle and give our Tongues more scope and liberty But take heed of those prophane Bablings that St. Paul speaks of that increase to more Vngodliness 1 Tim. 2.16 Those unnecessary Bablings that St. Peter speaks of to meddle as Busie-bodies in other Men's Matters 1 Pet. 4.15 St. Augustine gives good advice to this purpose Thou wilt not give thy Stomach bitter Meat to feed on and wilt thou give thy Tongue wicked talk to feed on Cibos amaritudinis non das ventri cibos Iniquitatis dabis Linguae August As thou art choice of what thou Eatest so be choice of what thou Talkest 3. Observe in what Manner ye speak St. Paul would that all your words be seasoned with the salt of Discretion Col. 4.6 You must learn when to use an Admonition when a Reproof when a Comfort If ye be to deal with a Superiour use the more Humility if with one Equal you may use the more Formality if with your Inferiour ye may exercise your Authority Some Natures must be handled with Mildness some with Sternness Some Faults are to be privately reproved others to be publickly rebuked Some Offenders must be saved with fear others rescued with Violence and as it were with plucking out of the Fire According to the several Occasions and Dispositions that we meet with so must our Speech be tempered 4. Consider what end ye have in speaking For though your Mouth be as the Oracle of God speaking things Heavenly and Excellent Though your Admonitions be never so holy your Consolations never so refreshing your Reproofs never so zealous yet perhaps your End may not be sincere Let your End therefore be always to aim at the Glory of God and at the good of your Brethren Piety teacheth the one Charity the other 5. Consider the Place where ye speak for there is a difference to be put between private Places and publique A Sage Philosopher sitting at a Feast was by some of the Guests requested to enter into some Philosophical Discourse he answered Inter pocula non est Philosophandum That was no fit Place for him to discourse of Philosophy Some will never talk of Religion but when they are in a Tavern or upon an Ale-bench fit Chairs for such Doctors I do not speak as if God might not any where be talkt of I speak only to condemn the indiscreet Folly of those who choose unfit Places or unfit Meetings for their Discourses It is to do as the Scribes and Pharisees did to pray in the Market-place and to buy and sell in the Temple 6. You must have respect to the Time when ye speak Words spoken in due season are like Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver The Prophet notes it as a special part of Wisdom in him that hath the Tongue of the Learned to speak a word in due season Thus Abigail dealt with Nabal she would not tell him of his folly and danger in his Drunken Fit but when the Wine was out of his Brain Now for the better Learning of all this I will recommend to you a few Rules of Direction 1. Be careful to keep a continual watch over your Tongues and to take diligent heed to the words that pass from you I said I will take heed unto my ways Psal 39.1 saith David that I offend not with my Tongue It is with your Talking as with your Walking If ye do not take heed to your Feet when you Walk you may happen to stumble So if you do not take heed to your Tongues when you Talk they may happen to run wild 2. With Watchfulness joyn Prayer Pray heartily and frequently unto God that he would restrain your Tongues from evil-speaking and open them in uttering the things that be good Thus did Agur Remove from me Vanity and Lyes Prov. 30.8 Thus did David Set a Watch O Lord before my Mouth and keep the door of my Lips c. As ye must beg Pardon of him when ye have offended in the misgoverning your Tongues so for the guiding and well-governing of them ye must be Petitioners to Him Only He that hath given them to you can teach you how to govern them 3. Learn Humility in observing your selves that will teach you Sobriety in speaking of others For whence is our Curiosity in observing our Censoriousness in condemning others but meerly from an opinionative Self-love and a proud Conceit that Men have of themselves Tamdiu quisque sua peccata ignorat quamdiu curiosè aliena considerat Bernard So long a Man is ignorant in seeing his own Faults as he is curious to pry into other Mens And to this purpose Chrysostom gives good advice Enter into thine own Heart saith he and let thine own Conscience be thy Judg bring thy self to a reckoning Chrysostom Homil. 43. in Math. and ponder in thy self the manifold Sins that thou knowest thy self to have committed think of the Punishments that are due unto thee for them and ask thy self the question How thou darest do this or that If thy Conscience then offer to flie back and to baffle thee with other Mens faults Dic ad ipsam non ego Judex in alios Answer her roundly God hath not made thee a Judg of others thou hast enough of thine own to answer for 4. Learn ever to be more ready to Hear than to Speak