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friend_n answer_v see_v tell_v 760 5 4.3917 3 false
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A50987 Mirt[h] in abundance Set forth and made manifest in many jests, upon severall occasions, full of wit and truth. Contriv'd to relieve the melancholy, and rejoyce the merry; to expell sorrow, and advance jollity. All of them new and noble, free from rayling baudery, blasphemy, or incivility. Collected and set together by a lover of lawfull mirth, and true hearted society. 1659 (1659) Wing M2227; ESTC R217835 6,536 18

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and was going to question it but that he was interrupted by his Master who having newly supp'd call'd him to supper likewise come Iohn take away and goe to supper I thank God I have supp'd but have my Horses supp'd Iohn Yes surely Sir said Iohn I think they have for I saw the Hostler take away 8. There was a Crosse set up in the middle of a little Market-Town in those dayes when Crosses had more esteem than they have now for men would very frequently when nature provoked them to advance their members and piss against it which was so ill-resented by some superstitious Papists who lived neer it that he put up these two lines in writing He is a very foolish Ass That dares to piss against this Crosse But an unhappy wagg who had usually in such a case of necessity repair'd thither viewing the verses laughed and having taken them down under writ two lines more and stuck them up againe the lines were these Why what a foolish Ass was this To set up a Crosse where a man should piss 9. I came into an Inne once where some melancholy person had in a very fair hand with a piece of Cole written these following lines upon a wall God and the Souldier states alike adore Just at the brink of Danger not before When danger 's gone both are alike requited God is forgotten and the Souldier sleighted 10. There was a pretty little high-spirited Gentleman whose name was Wood who had received some affront from one Mr. Story a very large hig-boned comly Coward and resolved to take revenge upon him for the injury wheresoever they met which hapned For Mr. Wood with another friend of his comming through Fleet-street they met this aforesaid Mr. Story The little man draws his Sword and begun to make a push at Story which Story put by with his hand retreated a little and drew but Mr. VVood's friend would not let him right and diswaded him with many reasons first that he would be esteemed a common Quarreller to fight so publickly but chiefly he would not have him ingage against such a man that had every way so much the advantage of him in limbs For quoth the Gentleman you must consider that Story is tall To which little VVood made this replie I 'de pluck him down were he three stories high 11. A little crooked Gentleman had lately taken a very fair house to dwell in and having nobly furnished it he invites a friend of his who was a very merry man to see it and to judge of his bargaine so having shewed him all the Rooms the Gentleman asked him what rent he paid The Crooked man answered him that he gave an hundred pounds for a fine and fifty pounds a year Quoth his friend I do not like your bargain No quoth the Crooked man I am told that it is a very good penny worth I am not of their mind replyed his friend for would any man be so mad to give fifty pounds a year for a house that he cannot stand upright in So they both laught and went to dinner 12. One being asked the Question why a Dog goes about before he lyes down was answered by another because he goes about to lye down 13. There was a certain dishonest person a Scrivener whose name was Smith who having been found guilty of counterfeiting hands to a false deed was threatned to be sued and indited for forgery to which he made reply do your worst I shall come off well enough I warrant you my name is Smith and if a Smith may not have the liberty of forgeing how shall he performe his function 14. An old merry Parson that lived in the old merry dayes being a little purblind by being a very good fellow that would alwayes pay his Clubb having sat up too late on the satterday night was a little unfitted in his eyes to read right the next morning turning to a Chapter in Exodus the beginning of the Chapter began thus And God told Moses c. but his eyes failing him like a true Clubber he read thus And God told Noses c. 15. A Company of good Companions made a match to goe to Green-goose fair where most commonly there are very sawcie Reckonings and so they found it but one thirsty person amongst the rest grumbled at it and said he neer paid so dear for a Goose in his life but another answered him who had been a notable wencher that it was very cheap for He had a Goose once at Winchester that cost him ten pounds 16. There was a Gentleman whose onely study and practice was Manhood as ●ootball-playing Wrastling Pitching the ha●● throwing of Weights Riding and Fo●●ing in which active practises he was so perfect that he over-match'd all men that came ●eer him insomuch that he was the Glory of the West of England and he was Conquers of all men that came to him and grew 〈…〉 that he could not find any man fit to 〈◊〉 him but it happened that one day after hunting at a drinking Match in an Ale-house by chance he met a North Countryman 〈◊〉 was highly extolling a great Gamester like himself in the North who performed all exercises that were manly and a person that was an over-commer of all that durst engage him The Western Gentleman desired his name and habitation which was soon told him bu● when he heard he was impatient of further 〈◊〉 and therefore in order for a Iourney to him he provided himself of all 〈◊〉 and rid into the North where with little enquiry he found the Gentleman's house and knocking at the Gate he was informed by a Servant that his Master was in his Parke a mile off The Traveller returned thanks and with his Horse in his hand guided by the Servants direction he went to him where he found him mending of a pale Now take notice that this North Country Gentleman was a very stout man but of very few words and the Western Gentleman of as many who thus began to accost him Sir I have intelligence that you are the stoutest man in all the North and I am as highly reputed in the West which hath provoked me to find you out that we may trye both our strength and our skill so far that fortune 〈…〉 may Crown one of us the only glor●●us man in England The North Country-man was still at his worke but heard distinctly all that he said but returned no answer onely when the other had ended speaking and expected a reply the North Country man comes fairly to him puts his hand under his twist and pitcheth him over the Park pales the VVest Country man see him do that so easily began to think there was no contending with him and therefore very civilly with his Hat in his hand gave him a return in these words I thank you Sir heartily Pray throw my Horse over too 17. A Souldier who amongst many others being found guilty of mutiny was condemned with his Companions by
a Councill of Warre to throw the Dice for his life for such a certain number was to dye and they of them were only to live according to the favour of the Dice So they all threw but one man who was very obstinate and would not throw they told him he must but he answered them that he had made a Solemn oath never to throw a Dye whilst he lived and he would not be forsworn but that would not serve his turne for at the last they put them in his hand and he threw them away from him But they that tooke them up againe found their chance to be two sixes and it went for a Cast and saved him 18. There was a Gentleman who had been very smartly drinking at the Feathers Tavern in Cheapside where there is a very long entry from the street door to the Bar and a drinking roome by the way where were many civill persons with their wives at supper but their door was only shut to and not latched and this Gentleman staggering thorough reeld against this door and fell head-long into the Room to the sudden astonishment of the Company who rise up and demanded the reason of that rudenesse the poor Gentleman with very much adoe got up and staggering with his hat in his hand he made hard shift to cry them all mercy in these words Gentlemen and Ladyes I pray excuse my boldnesse and consider I am not the first that have fallen into ill Company 19. A Wenching fellow having beene out all night was asked where he had been Who was answered a hunting A hunting quoth the other where I prethee marry in Bloomsbury Park replyed the fellow how quoth his friend in Bloomsbury Park that was too little purpose for I am sure there is ne're a Hare in it 20. A Gentleman having been late out was at midnight going home to his Lodging but by the way the Watch in Cheapside call'd him which he took no notice of but jogg'd home as fast as he could stride they call'd him again and again but still he answered not untill at the last the Constable commanded four of them to fetch him in they followed him overtook him and told him he must goe before the Constable so with some unwillingness they brought him back to the Constable whom he charged of uncivility for stopping him in his way home I cry you mercy quoth the Constable I pray how am I uncivill Yes marry are you quoth the Gentleman for sending your bills to me after I have paid the reckoning 21. A Gentleman who had constantly beene a good fellow meeting with some of his friends at a mornings draught told his Companions that God forgive him he went to bed like a beast last night why quoth they were you so drunk No quoth he I was so sober 22. There were two notable boon Companions which when they met were alwayes so indeared to each others Company that very seldom an earlier houre than midnight could part them but when they were drunk they had two troublesome infirmities Jack could not goe nor VVill could not speak therefore one night before they fell to drinking they made Articles of agreement that when they were drunke VVill should carry Jack and Jack should speak for VVill and after this agreement to drinking they went pell-mell untill the one was drunk and the other lame so after they had paid the Reckoning VVill takes up Jack a pick-pack and carries him to Ludgate and being very weary sets him down in the dark on a bench close by the prison The Constable and Watch who were within the Gate hearing a bustle called out saying Who goes there come before the Constable VVill could goe wel enough but could not speak so he went over to the Constable who examined him whence he came and why he was out so late and where he lived to which VVill could answer nothing but make mouths but Jack having his tongue at liberty as he was sitting in the blind hole cryes to the Constable Sir he cannot speak Vpon that the Constable asked who was that which spake and commanded him to come before him to which Jack made answer Sir I can't goe at which the Constable and Watch laught VVill took up his load again and away they marcht FINIS