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Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
friend_n	answer_v	know_v	think_v	806	5	3.6946	3	false

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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A20101	Iests to make you merie with the coniuring vp of Cock VVatt, (the walking spirit of Newgate) to tell tales. Vnto which is added, the miserie of a prison, and a prisoner. And a paradox in praise of serieants. Written by T.D. and George Wilkins.	Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.; Wilkins, George, fl. 1607. aut	1607 (1607)	STC 6541; ESTC S105305	41,447	64

9. Iest. ONe called a Captaine coward and said he had no heart it s no matter quoth the Captaine I haue legs The 10. Iest. VVHat is the reason saies a Gentleman to his friend that chesse-play being so witty a game is not vsed so much now as it had wont to be diuerse reasons saies the others one is because Rookes stand too neere the Bishops another is because Knights had wont to be better then pawnes but now a good pawne is better th●● a Knight The 11. Iest. A Taylor in this Towne maintaind a whore besides his wise who afterwards came to the knowledge of it where vpon on● wondring how it should be discouered because the Taylor was a close fellow askt one of his neighbors how the diuell his wife could smell out his wench oh easily replyed the other for he kept her vnder his wifes nose The 12. Iest. An auncient Gentlewoman making her brag● that she was descend●d from Iohn of Gaunt One that stood by sayd he thought she was rather descended from William the Conqueror because her face was so old The 13. Iest. ONe demanded of his friend what was the reason that when a man 〈◊〉 a light Wench the ●●st word he speaks to her is Gentlewoman will you goe to the Tauerne O saies the other ● Leman is neuer good without wine The 14. Iest. A Couple of Seruingmen hauing drunke hard in Southwarke came to take water about ten or eleauen of the clock at night at S. Mary-oueries sta●res But the M●●ne ●●ning and a puddle of water lying before them which th●y could not perfectly discerne without better ●ies by reason that their shadowes bid it one of them ●●umbled and fel● in labouring with his hands feete as if he had bin a swimming his fellow● stood so well as a man in his case could stand looking vpō him sayd Art thou gon Art thou gon● Iesus recea●● thy soule yet if thou canst but get the Temple staires theirs some hope thou shalt doe well enough tush saies the other that was downe I looke not to g●t so I may saue my selfe I care for no more The 15. Iest. A Silly fellow being for some misdemeanor brought befor● the old Recorder after some short ●xamination was by him demāded whom he seru●d I serue quoth the fellow a poore kinsman of your good worship A poore kinsman of mine thou varlet who is that looke you saies he and drew from vnder his cloake a flute The 16. Iest. A Player riding with his fellowes in a yeare of Peregrination vp and downe the countries resolued to be merry th● they ●ot little money and being to passe through a Towne h●e gets a good way before the rest crying wi●h his drawne Rapier in his hand which is the Constables house where is the Constable the dogs of the parrith at the no●se fell to barking the Threshers came running out with their ●●●iles the Clounes with rakes pitch-forks asking without what the matter was cried still and you be men bring me to the Co●●●able At last the wise Gentleman appeared in his 〈◊〉 Are you the Constable saies the player yes that I am for fault of a better quoth he why then blurt Maister Constable saies the other and clapping spurres to his horse gallopd away amaine some of the companions laughing others rayling the Constable swearing and the rest of the players that came behind post through the thickest of them and laughing the whole Towne to scorne as if it had bin the foole in a Comedie which made y ● hob-nailewearers stampe tenne times worse then they did before The 17. Iest. A Company of merry Gallants comming in a winter night late from a Tauerne to increase that mirth in the streetes as they went along which the wine had begotten in them before fell to taking downe of Lāthornes that their hung out And one of them being nibling to vntie the cord at which a Sconc● hung a seruant of the house by chance suddenly opened the doore and tooke him at his worke roughly asking him what he meant to doe there nothing Sir saies the other but to s●uff your candle The 18. Iest. A Young man passing to his lodging somewhat late was by the dreadfull voyce of browne-bilmen cald to come before the Constable he did so but perceiuing him that sat there in the examiners office to be no Constable but knew him to be a bare Deputie and had for wages serued for other men some sixe or seauen yeares together y ● fellow gaue him scuruy words for which the Uice-regent of the Ward grew so into choller y ● he swore the great Turke should not ransome him from lying by the héeles nay more he would execute Iustice in his owne proper naturall person and leade him himselfe he did so and the other 〈◊〉 before but in the middle of Cheapeside bee kneeled downe crying out aloud O thou euerlasting Constable what meanest thou to doe with me The 19 Iest. A Seruingman bringing a Capon and white-broth to the t●ble stumbled let all fal to the ground for which his Maister reuilde him and sayd I could haue done so much my selfe I thinke so quoth the fellow any foole may doe it now t is done before him The 20. Iest. VPon a time when there was a great muster made by the Citty of souldiers a countrie fellow séeing them march thr●ugh the stréetes inquired of one that stood likewise by as a beholder to what end these souldiers kept this marching mary to Mile-end saies the other yea but to what end are those Lighters and Boates and Ships prouiding on the Riuer quoth the country mā why to Theames-end answered the other nay but then saies he againe to what end should they make such adoe both by Land and water faith replyed the other to no End The 21. Iest. I Thinke saie some to his friend I am the 〈◊〉 coxcom● liuing truth so thinke I saies the other why should you thinke so replyed the first and grew halfe angry mary sayd the second because you say so I hope none should know that ●●tthen your selfe The 22. Iest. A Paire of Players growing into an emulous contention of one anothers worth re●ulde to put themselues to a day of hearing as any Players would haue done but stood onely vpon their good parts Why saies the one since thou wouldst same be taken for so rare a peece report before all these for they had a small audience about them you must note what excellent parts thou hast discharged Mary saies the other I haue so naturally playd th● Puritane that many tooke me to be one True saies the first agen thou playdst the Puritane so naturally that thou couldst neuer play the honest man afterwards but I quoth he haue playd the Sophy the Sophy replyed the second what a murren was he What was he saies the other why he was a Turke right quoth his aduersarie get to play as many Turkes parts as thou canst for ●●e

Iests to make you Merie With The Coniuring vp of Cock Watt the walking Spirit of Newgate To tell Tales Vnto which is Added the miserie of a Prison and a Prisoner And a Paradox in praise of Serieants Written by T. D. and George Wilkins Imprinted at London by N. O. for Nathaniell Butter dwelling neere to St. Austins Gate at the signe of the pide Bull. 1607. To the Reader BOokes are a strange commoditie the estimation of them riseth and falleth faster then the exchange of money in the Low countries which alters more often then the english man doth the fashion of his apparell Men that write to feede fantastike humors are no better then Apes that shew their trickes to others the doing of which is painefull to themselues and at going away are but laught at and so nice are our Paules Churchyard-walkers in beholding these pictures that to day they cry excellent at the drawing of that vpon which to morrow they will cast a mewing countenance ther 's no one Stationer stall can fit all customers with bookes to their dyet nor can all men that write if all that can but speake should write fit some Stationers Go to one and offer a coppy if it be merrie the man likes no light stuffe if sad it will not sell. Another meddles with nothing but what fits the time I wold haue his shop stuft with nothing but proclamations because he lyes i' th winde only for the change of weather Since therefore that neither hot nor colde can please neither straight nor crooked can serue as a measure to some mouthes what a miserable and endlesse labour does he vndertake that in a few scribled sheetes hopes to wrap vp the loues of all men Better it were for him in my iudgement to turne his leaues into such paper-kites as boyes runne after whilest they flye in the Ayre then to publish his wits in Follio and yet be counted but a foole for his labour 〈◊〉 notwithstanding with such a tickling Itch is this printed Ambition troubled that some are neuer at better ease then when they are scratching vpon paper and finde no sweetnesse but in drawing blood Of those sharp-toothed dogs you shall finde me none I hould no whip in my hande but a soft fether and there drops rather water th●n gall out of my quill if you taste it and finde it pleasing I am glad if not I cannot be much sorry because the Cooke knew not your dyet so that his error was his ignorance and ignorance is a veniall sinne to be pardoned Nam veniam pro laude pete Laudate●● abundè Non fastiditus fi tibi Lector er● T. D. and G. W. Iests to make you Merrie VVhat a Iest is A Iest is the bubling vp of wit It is a Baum which beeing well kindled maintaines for a short time the heate of Laughter It is a weapon wherewith a 〈◊〉 does oftentimes fight and a wise man def●nds himselfe by It is the 〈◊〉 of good companie if it bee seasoned with iudgement but if with too much tar●ness● it is hardly disgested but turne to quarrel A 〈◊〉 i● tried as powder is the most sudden is the best It is a merrie ●●●deman and hath a brother so like him that many take them for Twins For the one is a Iest spoken the other is a Iest done Stay but the reading of this book● some halfe an houre and you shall bee brought acquainted with both The 1. Iest. A Fellow that to be a foole in print had spent the stocke of his wits vpon inke and paper and made it into a booke offred it to sell a● diuerse Stationers 〈◊〉 but none would buy it At the length 〈◊〉 came to one of the company and swore to him he should not 〈◊〉 to feare to venture money vpon it 〈◊〉 it would be to him an euerlasting booke Oh sayes the other then I will not meddle with it euerlasting bookes are ill commodities in our trade bring me a booke that will go away and I am for you The 2. Iest. A Iustice of Peace found his man laying his mistresse on the lippes at which the Iustice in a rage and wrapping out a great oath cald him Rascall and asked him what he did why sayes the fellow and swore as déepe as he I was kissing your wife The Iustice told him if he tooke him kissing there againe he would make him kisse in another place Truth sir sayes the Seruingman had not you come in I had kis● in another place indéed The 3. Iest. A Citizen méeting by chance a kinseman of his about the Strand that was come to the Tearme askt him where he had béene who told him he had beene at Westminster And what newes quoth he at Westminster Mary sayes the other Lawyers get the Diuell and all What an Asse replied the Citizen is the diuell if I were as he I would get some of them The 4. Iest. IN the Quéenes time a couple of Merchants walking on the Change amōgst other newes the one told y ● other he thought the peace betwéene England and Spaine would be broken God help the poore Iustices then answered the other for if the peace b● broken sure y ● Iustices of the Peace cannot be sound The 5. Iest. A Mad countrey Parson inuiting certaine of his friends to the eating of a tyth pigge and some other good chéere one of the guests brought along with him a Precisian which se● the person neuer could abide and hauing carn'd once or twic● to the rest At length he cald aloud in latin to the Precisian for he tooke him to be a scholler because he went all in blacke Heus domine vis tu Comedere Turdum vis ●u comedere ●artum vis tu comedere pistum Fartum At which the other blessing himselfe to thinke that a Churchman should vtter such filthy words as he construed them rose from the board and d●parted reprouing the Parson for a beastly and vnmannerly christian whereas by Turdum he meant a blacke bird that stood on the board by Fartum a pudding and by pistum fartum a pan-pudding that 's bak'd The 6. Iest. DOe you see ponder bawd saies one to his cōpanion ●tting in a play-house together she should haue bin burnt once in Paris for a martir● A martir quoth the other why she has suffered for the truth heere in London for she was carted but last weeks The 7. Iest. SIrra saies a Iustice to a bailie●●e that had brought a cutpurse before him keepe that knaue till I call for him anon when I am more at leasure yes quoth the bailieffe I will keepe the knaue for your worship The 8. Iest. A Woman seeing a tumult in the open stréete about a man and a woman askt one of the standers by what the matter was sa●es he Thou art a whore Thou art an arrant knaue saies the woman to call me whore why about this quoth the party that was askt the question did those two fall out The

was walking in the 〈◊〉 I le and told him the wonder he had séene and what multitudes of people were in the streetes staring to behold it the fellow most vehemently intreating his Maister to goe and make one Away thou fool● sayd hee what neede I goe so farre to sée a Horse on the top when I can looke vpon so many Asses at the bottome O yes Sir replyed the Seruingman you may sée Asses heere euery day but peraduenture you shall neuer see a Horse there againe though there were a thousand beasts in the citti● The 40. Iest. A Clarke of y ● Guyide Hall being requested by his Client at the end of a Triall to draw him out a bill of charges Yes sayd the Clarke I will draw it out presently and did so the Client running it ouer knew to himselfe that he was at more cost with him then was needfull yet sayd nothing because hee was to vse his helpe in other matters but payd it all and then requested my young Lawyer to goe drinke a cup of Muscadine with him at the Tauerne which he did the Client at the end of the shot paying all too Nay them quoth the Clarke By the Lord I haue done you wrong to put you to so much charges In good troth answered the Cliēt so I thought before though I sayd nothing but since you sweare it now I dare verily belieue it The 41. Iest. TWO Cittizens ouer-taking one another as they came from Westminister the one of them being excéeding pen●●ue it was askt by the other why he went so heauily O quoth hee I haue reason to goe heauily for I had an Action tryed to day at Westminister of 200. ● and it is gone against me Who was your Counsell sayd the other Mary such a one replyed the second What strange qualities quoth the first haue these men of law the selfe same man that makes you so heauy has made me excéeding light The 42. Iest. A Prisoner that stood vpon his comming forth was put backs till he had payd such fees as the Keepers demanded of him which he thought were vnreasonable and against both l●we and conscience whereupon he raild at them cald them bloud-hounds bloud-suckers hel-hounds and such other vngodly names but one standing by counsaild him to hold his tongue and not to spit his venome against men that are in place for sayd hee Keepers of Prisons are as good men as the best where they take The 43. Iest. A Young wanton wench that had maryed an old man being a Forrester whō she had so transford that comming amongst the heard of Deere he went for a Stag fell suddenly sicke for the loue of a Gallāt that had a good while together gone a hunting with her but vpon some dislike of his game gaue it ouer the kind old fellow her husband that suspected nothing brought her a Doctor but the cause of her disease being loue she proud him a D●nce he could neither by her water nor by feeling her pulse find what sicknes bred within her whereupon the old Ranger her husband perswaded her to shew all how it came first vpon her for sayd he we must hide nothing from our Phisitian Why then quoth she good husband shew your forhead to him which me thinkes is all broken out Alas sayd he that 's onely the weaknes of thy sight Nay husband sayd the sicke louer if your browes grieue not you they shall neuer hurt me The 44. Iest. A Country H●bbin●ll h●●ing seene she mad-folkes in Bedlam fell so in ●oue with their trickes that he swore he could ●nd in his heart to liue in the Sommer-time amongst them and demanded of him that caryed him thether to see them how he might soonest be made to runne mad if one had such a mind● easily sayd the other for doe but mary with a whore or else haue to doe with players and thou shalt quickly runne madde The 45. Iest. A Wench hauing a good face a good body and good clothes on but of bad conditions sitting one day in the two-penny roome of a play-house number of yong Gentlemen about her against all whom she maintaind talke One that sat ouer the stage sayd to his friend doe you not thinke that yonder flesh will stincke anon hauing so many flyes blowing vpon it Oh quoth his friend I thinke it stinckes already for I neuer saw so many crowes together but there was some carion not far off The 46. Iest. LOoke sayd one is it not strange yonder is a fellow that the last day went for a Lieftenant and now he is a Pandor Alas sayd one that stood next him Souldiers you know if they cannot get it by faire meanes they will haue it out of the flesh The 47. Iest. A Couple of Gentlemen talking of a common Punck one of them sayd she was a Recusant Nay before God quoth the other that 's a lie shee le take any thing The 48. Iest. A Uniuersity man cald one of the Constables of London Onyon at which the Constable as if he had bin slyced into peeces kept a coyle and wondered why he should call him an Onyon that was rather one of the best dishes that stood vpon the table of Iustice Mary sayd the Scholler I tell thée againe thou art an Onyon because thou hast a great head but no wit in it The 49. Iest. TWo Tradesmen falling out and vpbrayding one another with house-keeping miserable feeding of their seruants Saies the one I spend more mustard and vineger in a yeare in my house then thou dost béefe in thine Nay quoth the other I believe thée for I alwaies tooke thee for a very saucie knaue The 50. Iest. A Notable scolding Queane ralling hand to hand with thrée men that were her neighbours and beating them all three at it because it was her owne weapon her husband standing by ● taking part with neither At last shee began to reuile him and told those that fl●ckt about her how her husband thought to haue euery rascall a top on her And reason good quoth one that ●ood by what 〈◊〉 Iades for but to be made hackneis The 51. Iest. A Gentleman made all the friends he could to the Captaine of the french Kings guard that hee might bee one of them but the Captaine told him he was so hardly prest vpon by sun●ry Noble men for their Seruants and fellowes that he could not by any meanes doe him the pl●●sure Oh sir quoth the gentleman sure you mistake you are not as I am told so prest vpon by so many Noble men but rather with so many Nobles The 52. Iest. A Water-bearer complaynd before a Iustice of his wifes misusing and ouer-maistring him t is strange quoth the Iustice that you two should iarre for I am told that you Sirra are neuer seene to goe into an Alehouse but your wife is seene there too you are neuer drunke but she is drunke too you neuer quarrell with your neighbours but she quarrels too I