Selected quad for the lemma: friend_n
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A57878
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Rules for conversation, or A collection of moral maxims and reflections. By a Roman Catholick
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Roman Catholick.
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1686
(1686)
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Wing R2254; ESTC R218492
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18,251
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111
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to promise but in few or none without shame can he refuse to performe XXXIX He that is unwilling to pay what he owes when he hath it by him shall live to be willing and not be able XL. Philosophy can triumph over past and future Calamities but is Conquered by a present Evil. XLI The Refusal of Commendation is often-times with a desire to be Praised Twice XLII Few Men Praise others but with some exception and ordinarily with a design to be Praised themselves XLIII No Man is so easily deceived and imposed upon as when he thinks to deceive others XLIV He that talks more then cometh to his share and with Confidence and Passion in disputable matters may easily be observed to contradict himself and that 's the only Method to shame and silence him XLV Boldness and Confidence many times obtain that which cannot be compassed by ordinary means XLVI T is not enough for a Man to have good qualities but he must likewise know how to use and manage them XLVII That Noise and Show that proves a Man not to be Ingenious or Wise is often-times the cause of his reputation for being so XLVIII Many who are excellent for one quality have not the Reputation of being so because they are excellent for another as Caesar is beleived to have been as Eloquent as Cicero and yet is Famous only as a Warriour XLIX A great Reputation doth rather abase then exalt those who know not how to answer and sustein it L. We Judg of other Mens merit by their carriage towards us our self-love doth either augment or lessen their good qualities in Proportion to the Pleasure and Satisfaction we have by them LI. One Man is not more unlike another then every Man is unlike himself considered at different times LII No Man is ever so ridiculous by the qualities he hath as by those which he affects to have LIII T is ever reckoned more shameful to distrust ones Friends then to be deceived by them LIV. All Men complain of their Memories but no Man of his Judgment LV. No difguise can for any long time hide Love where it is in reality or feigns it where 't is not LVI We please more in our conversations by our weaknesses and failings then by any of our good qualities LVII A Man may know others by himself for as in water face answereth to face so doth the heart of Man to Man LVIII Folly attends us in every time of our Life if any one appear wiser then another 't is because his follies are more proportioned to his Age and Fortune LIX Many would discover greater Wisdom and Ability then they do did they not over earnestly desire and affect it LX. The wisest Men may be often at a loss in the company of Fools LXI T is more easie to be Wise for other Men then for himself as it is to give good Councel then to follow it LXII There are some Commendations which reproach a Man and some reproaches on the contrary which are rather to a Mans Praise LXIII T is as easie to deceive a Mans Self and not observe it as t is difficult to deceive others without being observed LXIV Men commonly magnifie the good qualities of others not from an esteem of their merit but from a value for their own and would attract Praise to themselves by bestowing it on others LXV No greater mark of an extraordinary merit then to hear a man praysed by those who do most Envy him LXVI The reason why so few seem Rational and Agreable in their Conversation is because most Men consider what they would speak themselves rather then what they should answer to that is spoke LXVII Try the Fidelitie of a Friend in such a time and instance as you can bear his refusal without great inconvenience for he that would borrow when he hath not must borrow when he hath LXVIII Resolve never to do that by another which you may do by your self nor do that to morrow which you may do to day nor neglect or despise the least thing LXIX He that excuseth a Fault by a Lye thinks it better to be Guilty of two Faults then to be thought Guilty of one LXX Remember not the Favours you have done to others and forget not those which others have done to you LXXI Many Wicked Persons would be less dangerous then they are and do less mischeif if they had not some goodness LXXII The honour a Man hath already acquired is caution for more and greater LXXIII 'T is more difficult to know what not to say on any Subject then to speak much LXXIV 'T is much easier to appear worthy of those Employments which a Man hath not then of those which he actually hath LXXV We many times confess little Faults with a design to perswade that we have not great ones LXXVI Most Men Love new acquaintance not so much because they are weary of the Old or find Pleasure in change as because they think they are not admired enough by those who know them too well and hope to be more so by those that know them not so much LXXVII What seems to be generosity is oftentimes but Ambition in disguise which condemns little interests and designs to aspire at greater LXXVIII He that endeavours only to imitate other Men doth not take the way to excell LXXIX T is some kind of ingratitude to be earnest and pressing to acquit our selves of our obligations to another LXXX Little Passions are diminisht by absence but great ones are augmented as the Wind Blows out a Candle but increaseth a Fire LXXXI We magnifie the Affection and tenderness which our Friends have for us rather to declare our own merit then our gratitude LXXXII Thankfulness for Favours is generally with a design to obtain more LXXXIII Pride which inspires us so much with Envy doth oftentimes seem to moderate it for we should more envy other Men did we not extreamly flatter our selves LXXXIV The Encouragement we give to those who are entring on the World and beginning an Imploy proceeds oftentimes from a secret Envy we bear to some already setled LXXXV T is more difficult for a Man to be Faithful to a Mistris when he is favoured and happy then when he is ill treated LXXXVI There are such accidents sometimes fall out in the Life of a Man that be he never so wise he must a little act the part of a Fool to extricate himself LXXXVII All Men have some time or other an Oportunity offered for their advancement and happiness which if they miss and do not improve they seldom meet with the like while they live LXXXVIII All Men almost take Pleasure to repay little Obligations but few or none are thankful as they ought for great ones LXXXIX We need only be jealous of those who are studiously careful to avoid giving Jealousie XC Jealousie is always born with Love but oftentimes survives it XCI Whence comes it to pass that we have Memory enough
rather then to the knowledg of Virtue CCVIII There is one inseparable reward of good Actions viz. The Satisfaction of having done them CCIX. Eloquence in speaking depends as much almost on the Tone of the Voice the Eyes and Airs of the Person as on the choice of Words CCX A Prudent Man concealeth knowledg but that which is in the midst of Fools is made known CCXI. There are Persons of very great Merit who yet do not please and there are others who are very acceptable though they have many failings CCXII. A Man of ordinary Abilities that knows how to Husband and Improve them will have more esteem and Reputation in the World then another of ' twice as much Merit who wants that Skill CCXIII. There are very many undertakings that seem very Absurd and Foolish which are founded on very Wise and Solid Reasons CCXIV. While only Sloth and Fear keep us within the Bounds of our Duty our Virtue hath oftentime the Honour of it CCXV When Vices forsake us we flatter our selves that we have left them CCXVI The Love of Glory the Fear of Shame the design to raise a Fortune or the desire to abase others are oftentimes the causes of that valour so renowned amongst Men. CCXVII Our Repentance for the most part is not a Regret for the Evil we have done so much as a Fear of that Evil which may betide us for it CCXVIII Envy is more irreconcileable then hatred CCXIX. A Man may beleive that he hates flattery when he only hates the manner of it CCXX Constancy in Love is a perpetual inconstancy causing the Heart to fix it self successively to all the qualities of the Person we Love giving sometimes the Preference to one and sometimes to the other insomuch that constancy is nothing else but inconstancy inclosed within one and the same Subject CCXXI Perseverance in Love is neither worthy of Praise or Blame because it is only the continuance of those Sentiments which a Man doth neither give to himself nor can deprive himself of CCXXII Men of the least Merit are usually most content and they complain most of their Fortune and Condition in the World who have least reason to do so CCXXIII. When our Superiours intrust us with a Secret or great Men put Confidence in us we regard it as the Fruit of our own merit whereas t is oftentimes the effect of their Vanity and because they cannot keep Secrets CCXXIV. T is ordinarily from Pride rather then from want of Light that Men oppose themselves with obstinacy to the most received Opinions finding the first Places already taken on the Right side they are not content to have the last CCXXV. T is a Peice of Folly to be wise alone and to affect Singularity from the rest of the World in things indifferent CCXXVI Hypocrisy is an homage which Vice renders to Vertue CCXXVII The Valour of most Men and the Vertue of most Women is from Pride or Shame or Bodily Temparament CCXXVIII Flattery applied with Art doth commonly receive the reward of Merit CCXXIX Nothing is so contagious as Example we never do any considerable good or Evil but they produce the like we imitate good Actions of others through Emulation and their Evil ones through the Malignity of our Natures which was Restrained and held Prisoner by Shame but is fet at Liberty by Example CCXXX No Man can preserve those Sentiments which he ought to have for his Friends and Benefactors if he indulge himself too great a Liberty to talk often of their Faults CCXXXI T is impossible to Love a Second time that which one hath truly ceased to Love CCXXXII T is difficult to love those who do not at all Esteem us and t is almost as difficult to Love them who Esteem us much more then we do our selves CCXXXIII T is the Artifice of Pride by a feigned Submission and Humility to deceive and 't is never more likely to deceive then under that disguise CCXXXIV The Accent of the Country where a Man was born continues in the mind as well as in the Language CCXXXV T is true of certain good qualitys as it is of the senses that those who are altogether without them cannot comprehend them CCXXXVI If there be any Man who in no Action of his Life and in none of his qualitys did ever appear Ridiculous t is because no Man was ever at the Pains to search narrowly into him CCXXXVII Some follies of other Men are as infectious as some diseases CCXXXVIII That which for the most part hinders us from discovering the bottom of our Hearts to our Friends is not so much a distrust of them as of our selves CCXXXIX The Humours of our Bodies have an Ordinary and Regulated Course which moves and turns our Wills without being perceived they Exercise Successively a Secret Dominion over us and have a considerable part in all our Actions though we do not know it CCXL The Violences which others cause us do oftentimes give us less trouble then those which we cause to our selves CCXLI. Humility is the truest Evidence of all other Vertues without that we continue all our Faults and they are only covered by Pride which hides them from others and oftentimes from our selves CCXLII. Every own knows that he ought not to talk much of his nearest Relations but no Man knows Sufficiently that he ought much less to talk of himself CCXLIII There are some good qualities that are Faults when Natural and others that are never perfect when they are acquired viz. Our reason must teach us how to manage our Mony trust and Confidence but goodness and courage must be received from Nature CCXLIV There are some kind of Tears whereby we our selves may be deceived after we have deceived others by them CCXLV He is much mistaken that thinks he Loves a Mistris for her own sake CCXLVI To force ones self to continue Faithfull to one we Love is little better then Infidelity CCXLVII. A Man may give good Councels but cannot inspire conduct in the Observaion of them CCXLVIII Few are more often mistaken then such as cannot suffer to be told of their mistakes CCXLIX One is oftentimes less unhappy in being deceived by a Person we Love then to be undeceived CCL He Preserves his first Love a long time indeed that hath never a Second CCLI The most dangerous Folly of Old Persons who have been amiable is to forget that they are so no longer CCLII The greatest Proof of Frindship is not to discover our failings and imperfections to others but to make us see our own CCL III. We easily pardon those Faults in our Friends which do not respect our selves CCLIV T is easier to know Man in general then any one Man in particular CCLV. We should desire very few things ardently if we knew what it is we desire CCLVI. In Frindship as in Love one is oftentimes more happy by those things he is ignorant of then by those he knows CCLVII Shame and Jealousie